1 00:00:01,148 --> 00:00:03,369 Some kids dream of being astronauts. 2 00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:05,558 Some kids dream of playing baseball. 3 00:00:05,568 --> 00:00:08,099 When I was a kid, I had only one dream. 4 00:00:08,154 --> 00:00:09,688 To build a skyscraper. 5 00:00:09,838 --> 00:00:11,664 That's stupid. 6 00:00:13,131 --> 00:00:15,206 There were some obstacles along the way. 7 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,605 But eventually my dream came true. 8 00:00:17,841 --> 00:00:20,226 I became an architect. 9 00:00:20,236 --> 00:00:21,604 Morning, everyone! 10 00:00:21,676 --> 00:00:26,480 So, I had an idea for the atrium. 11 00:00:26,490 --> 00:00:27,905 Ready? 12 00:00:28,151 --> 00:00:29,966 Columns. 13 00:00:30,549 --> 00:00:32,330 That's stupid. 14 00:00:53,188 --> 00:00:56,080 I... I can't believe you knocked over my model. 15 00:00:56,095 --> 00:01:00,143 Well, it's just... it's not exactly new, is it-- columns? 16 00:01:00,156 --> 00:01:03,380 I mean, what's your next groundbreaking idea-- ceilings? 17 00:01:03,588 --> 00:01:04,963 Floors? 18 00:01:04,978 --> 00:01:06,760 Windows? 19 00:01:06,807 --> 00:01:09,531 I know what you're thinking: Who's this jerk? 20 00:01:09,546 --> 00:01:12,081 Well, this jerk was Hammond Druthers, 21 00:01:12,098 --> 00:01:14,411 a legend in the architecture community. 22 00:01:14,427 --> 00:01:16,271 Very big in the '80s. 23 00:01:16,906 --> 00:01:20,012 He was also far and away the worst boss I ever had. 24 00:01:20,275 --> 00:01:23,540 Then I designed the Spokane National Bank Building. 25 00:01:23,558 --> 00:01:26,011 And suddenly... I was his boss. 26 00:01:26,058 --> 00:01:28,513 - And he didn't like it. - Stairs? 27 00:01:28,726 --> 00:01:31,813 And to be honest, I wasn't sure I liked it either. 28 00:01:31,828 --> 00:01:34,802 See, before, when I was just another employee, 29 00:01:34,818 --> 00:01:37,342 I was happy, carefree. 30 00:01:37,357 --> 00:01:40,183 The guy who hung out in the break room making fun of the boss. 31 00:01:40,196 --> 00:01:41,253 Did you see what he was wearing today? 32 00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:44,040 It was like his pants were being held up by his nipples. 33 00:01:46,365 --> 00:01:49,681 Yeah, and that shirt with the flowers, I get hay fever just looking at it. 34 00:01:52,087 --> 00:01:54,232 But suddenly I was a different guy. 35 00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:56,841 Hey, guys. 36 00:01:57,336 --> 00:01:58,781 What's so funny? 37 00:01:58,887 --> 00:01:59,983 Nothing. 38 00:02:00,126 --> 00:02:02,961 Um... nice shirt. 39 00:02:03,387 --> 00:02:04,673 Thanks. 40 00:02:04,687 --> 00:02:06,382 The hours were insane. 41 00:02:06,397 --> 00:02:09,560 I was always working even when I wasn't at work. 42 00:02:09,576 --> 00:02:12,960 Oh, Robin... I just had a great idea. 43 00:02:12,976 --> 00:02:16,702 Oh, do whatever you want to me just don't wake me up. 44 00:02:20,146 --> 00:02:22,340 Before, I used to be this guy. 45 00:02:22,356 --> 00:02:25,662 Dude, of course you should take the day off for the Foo Fighters concert. 46 00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:26,912 Just say you're sick. 47 00:02:26,925 --> 00:02:28,040 But now... 48 00:02:28,088 --> 00:02:29,392 I was this guy. 49 00:02:29,408 --> 00:02:30,782 Sick, huh? 50 00:02:32,278 --> 00:02:34,101 Unbutton your shirt. 51 00:02:35,597 --> 00:02:38,642 Hmm... "Foo Fighters." 52 00:02:39,756 --> 00:02:41,603 Get back to work. 53 00:02:42,016 --> 00:02:45,001 But still, the worst part was Druthers. 54 00:02:45,017 --> 00:02:47,223 - Well, I was thinking... - Ceilings? Oops. 55 00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:51,973 Said that already. Then again, you seem to like rehashing old ideas. 56 00:02:51,986 --> 00:02:54,670 I'm kidding, of course. 57 00:02:54,738 --> 00:02:56,633 Another hole in one, boss. 58 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,203 Oh, wow, he must be really good-looking. 59 00:03:00,217 --> 00:03:01,293 Why would you say that? 60 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,262 Well, 'cause only good-looking people can get away with saying things like that. 61 00:03:04,295 --> 00:03:05,713 I have found that to be true. 62 00:03:05,725 --> 00:03:07,681 It's a blessing and a curse really. 63 00:03:08,237 --> 00:03:10,570 Ted, you can't let him treat you like that. 64 00:03:10,588 --> 00:03:12,833 Yeah, you gotta ask yourself, who's the boss? 65 00:03:12,845 --> 00:03:14,850 - Tony. - Angela. - Mona. 66 00:03:15,047 --> 00:03:16,112 Mona? 67 00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:18,632 Watch it more closely. Rock your world. 68 00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:20,663 So, what are you gonna do? 69 00:03:20,676 --> 00:03:23,983 Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. 70 00:03:23,997 --> 00:03:26,143 So, I went to talk to the managing partner. 71 00:03:26,156 --> 00:03:27,500 Fire him. 72 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:30,971 Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project. 73 00:03:30,987 --> 00:03:32,281 Fire him! 74 00:03:32,298 --> 00:03:35,962 He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. 75 00:03:35,977 --> 00:03:38,791 In fact, fire everyone on that project. 76 00:03:38,808 --> 00:03:42,040 Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them. 77 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,441 Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work. 78 00:03:45,455 --> 00:03:50,180 Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. 79 00:03:52,085 --> 00:03:53,553 Come here. 80 00:03:55,515 --> 00:03:58,073 I like you, Crosby. 81 00:03:59,608 --> 00:04:01,053 You mind if I charge my phone? 82 00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:02,373 Knock yourself out. 83 00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:05,971 Well, Ted, if you do fire Druthers, the key is timing. 84 00:04:05,986 --> 00:04:08,391 Remember when I had to fire my makeup artist? 85 00:04:08,427 --> 00:04:12,323 Vicki, um... I'm so sorry about this, 86 00:04:12,337 --> 00:04:15,522 but there's been some budget cuts and, um, 87 00:04:15,535 --> 00:04:17,361 we have to let you go. 88 00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:19,582 I mean, after tonight. 89 00:04:19,605 --> 00:04:22,222 I still need my makeup for the broadcast. 90 00:04:22,835 --> 00:04:24,192 So... 91 00:04:25,936 --> 00:04:29,872 Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims. 92 00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:31,240 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 93 00:04:31,258 --> 00:04:33,202 I'm gonna fire Druthers tomorrow. 94 00:04:36,187 --> 00:04:38,981 - Oh, my God! - What? 95 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,243 - Do you know about this? - No. 96 00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:42,332 What is that? 97 00:04:42,347 --> 00:04:44,922 Only the greatest thing ever. 98 00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:47,632 Wait, wait, wait-- that's not enough buildup. 99 00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:50,522 If they were to cure cancer tomorrow, 100 00:04:50,535 --> 00:04:53,191 this would still be the greatest thing to happen all week. 101 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:57,520 Okay. Now you're ready for naked Marshall. 102 00:04:58,148 --> 00:04:59,813 Oh, my God. 103 00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:02,442 This is awesome times awesome. 104 00:05:02,457 --> 00:05:04,023 It's awesome squared. 105 00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,551 I know, right? Behind the piano this whole time. 106 00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,932 Wait. If Marshall went to all this trouble to hide it, 107 00:05:08,946 --> 00:05:11,013 he clearly doesn't want us to find it. 108 00:05:11,026 --> 00:05:12,562 Oh, come on, Robin. 109 00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:16,412 No, I'm saying that he must be really embarrassed by this. 110 00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:19,171 We are gonna have so much fun. 111 00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,092 I know! We're gonna have so much fun! 112 00:05:21,108 --> 00:05:23,511 Oh, sorry I'm late; lunch ran a little long. 113 00:05:23,525 --> 00:05:24,942 You wanted to see me, Mosby? 114 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,370 Uh, yeah, like four hours ago. 115 00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:30,943 Well, excuse me, for spending the last four hours 116 00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:33,540 drawing designs for your building. 117 00:05:33,968 --> 00:05:36,163 This is a cocktail napkin. 118 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,600 Covered in profanity. 119 00:05:39,796 --> 00:05:41,861 Look, Hammond, um, 120 00:05:41,877 --> 00:05:44,643 there's no easy way to say this, so... 121 00:05:45,197 --> 00:05:48,400 why don't we just, um, step into your office. 122 00:05:49,586 --> 00:05:53,800 # Happy birthday to you # 123 00:05:53,818 --> 00:05:57,683 - # Happy birthday to you # - Oh, you had me. You so had me. 124 00:05:57,697 --> 00:06:01,870 # Happy birthday, dear Hammond # 125 00:06:01,885 --> 00:06:05,190 # Happy birthday to you # 126 00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:07,520 So, you didn't fire him? 127 00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:10,671 I can't fire a guy on his birthday. Everyone would hate me. 128 00:06:10,685 --> 00:06:14,352 Besides, they put a party hat on me. My authority was compromised. 129 00:06:15,465 --> 00:06:18,382 Oh, hey, Marshall. Have a seat. 130 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,820 I know how much you love stools. 131 00:06:22,196 --> 00:06:25,142 Thanks. Yeah, stools are better for your posture. 132 00:06:25,346 --> 00:06:29,783 And, uh... I... got you a rose. 133 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,890 Thank you. That's so sweet. 134 00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:34,830 You guys are being... so sweet. 135 00:06:34,848 --> 00:06:38,170 Hey, guys. Guess what I got. A new dart. 136 00:06:38,187 --> 00:06:39,910 Oh, wow, a new dart. 137 00:06:39,927 --> 00:06:41,690 Hey, that new dart is great. 138 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,012 I did not know you were such a fan of new dart, Barney. 139 00:06:44,027 --> 00:06:46,733 Oh, yes, Robin, I just love new dart. 140 00:06:46,747 --> 00:06:48,560 Nude art. 141 00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:50,530 - Nude art. - Nude art. 142 00:06:50,580 --> 00:06:53,795 Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh? 143 00:06:54,201 --> 00:06:56,216 I knew this day would come. 144 00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:57,450 How did you know that? 145 00:06:57,469 --> 00:06:59,453 Because I didn't hide it very well. 146 00:06:59,845 --> 00:07:02,321 So the story on the painting is that, back in college, 147 00:07:02,336 --> 00:07:05,243 Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class. 148 00:07:05,255 --> 00:07:07,121 Marshall wasn't so into the idea. 149 00:07:07,138 --> 00:07:09,172 Well, I just... don't think that some dude 150 00:07:09,188 --> 00:07:11,853 should drop trou just to pose for you. 151 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:16,271 It's for class, and it's just that weird kid Hunter from my freshman hall. 152 00:07:16,287 --> 00:07:18,062 The frisbee dude with the soul patch? 153 00:07:18,075 --> 00:07:19,753 He's like the hottest guy in school! 154 00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:21,101 No, he's actually a little husky... 155 00:07:21,138 --> 00:07:22,743 Oh, he's just huggable! 156 00:07:22,756 --> 00:07:24,350 And complicated... 157 00:07:24,365 --> 00:07:26,220 and a little bit of a jerk. 158 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,901 Just enough so you think maybe you can change him. 159 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:31,031 Okay, just forget it. 160 00:07:33,566 --> 00:07:35,103 Call me old-fashioned, 161 00:07:35,117 --> 00:07:38,890 I just think that I'm the only guy you should see naked. 162 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,541 Well, then you'll have to do it. 163 00:07:41,558 --> 00:07:44,803 Are you kidding me? What if somebody sees it? 164 00:07:44,826 --> 00:07:47,162 We're not in high school anymore. 165 00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:50,842 People don't make fun of you for posing nude for a painting. 166 00:07:50,857 --> 00:07:52,612 We're adults now. 167 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,631 We totally saw your butt. 168 00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:00,803 This painting has caused too much grief already. 169 00:08:00,817 --> 00:08:02,512 I'm destroying it right now. 170 00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:05,600 Oh, no, what's the matter, Marshall? 171 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:06,732 Where is it? 172 00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:10,193 I'll tell you where it is if you'll answer these riddles three. 173 00:08:10,207 --> 00:08:11,972 You hung it up in the bar, didn't you? 174 00:08:11,985 --> 00:08:13,702 Yo, why you gotta ruin my riddles? 175 00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:16,803 Field trip! 176 00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:24,622 Oh, no. Someone put your painting up behind the bar. 177 00:08:24,636 --> 00:08:25,803 Classic! 178 00:08:25,816 --> 00:08:27,762 What a memorable prank. 179 00:08:29,418 --> 00:08:31,370 Hey, Marshall. What'll you have? 180 00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:34,362 What'll I have? Um, I don't know, maybe a beer 181 00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:37,410 and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar! 182 00:08:37,426 --> 00:08:39,311 Ooh, I'm sorry, that painting's property of the bar. 183 00:08:39,346 --> 00:08:40,772 I know that Barney gave you that painting. 184 00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:42,113 I don't know what you're talking about. 185 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,573 Whatever he's paying you, I'll pay you double. 186 00:08:43,608 --> 00:08:44,573 I doubt it. 187 00:08:44,587 --> 00:08:46,421 Whatever he's paying you, I'll give you that plus ten bucks. 188 00:08:46,456 --> 00:08:47,340 I doubt it. 189 00:08:47,358 --> 00:08:49,971 All right, you know what, Carl, you just lost yourself a regular customer. 190 00:08:50,008 --> 00:08:51,531 I doubt it. 191 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,962 This painting is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 192 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:03,322 Okay, where should we put it up next? In his law school? 193 00:09:03,336 --> 00:09:04,993 Ooh on the side of a bus. Oh, oh! 194 00:09:05,006 --> 00:09:06,542 How much do billboards cost? 195 00:09:06,555 --> 00:09:09,070 Easy, Scherbatsky. Finesse. 196 00:09:09,088 --> 00:09:11,431 I've got a five-year rollout plan. 197 00:09:11,446 --> 00:09:14,042 I'll have you know that painting's got commitments all over the city. 198 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,682 Then, after New York... 199 00:09:23,275 --> 00:09:25,222 One of my worst fears has come true-- 200 00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:27,463 I just saw Marshall grabbing himself naked. 201 00:09:28,386 --> 00:09:29,841 Well, I gotta go. 202 00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:31,833 Believe it or not, I have to go back to the office. 203 00:09:31,868 --> 00:09:33,292 Oh, I'll go out with you. 204 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:34,402 Bye, guys. 205 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,872 You know, I wish everyone didn't have to make fun of that painting. 206 00:09:38,885 --> 00:09:41,431 Eh, we're not making fun of the painting, we're just making fun of Marshall. 207 00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:43,573 The painting's actually really great. 208 00:09:43,587 --> 00:09:45,782 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 209 00:09:46,096 --> 00:09:47,742 Well, thank you. 210 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:51,151 You know, seeing it again makes me miss painting nudes. 211 00:09:53,906 --> 00:09:55,150 What? 212 00:09:55,385 --> 00:09:57,050 Paint me. 213 00:09:57,756 --> 00:09:58,940 What? 214 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:01,851 Paint me. 215 00:10:07,688 --> 00:10:08,962 Who's that? 216 00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:10,581 Who's out there? 217 00:10:10,837 --> 00:10:12,563 Hammond, is that you? 218 00:10:12,606 --> 00:10:13,902 Mosby? 219 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,382 Druthers and I were alone in the office. 220 00:10:17,396 --> 00:10:18,740 If I was gonna fire him, 221 00:10:18,757 --> 00:10:20,740 this would be the best chance I'd ever have. 222 00:10:20,757 --> 00:10:22,650 Uh, look, just a second, Ted. 223 00:10:22,668 --> 00:10:24,761 Uh, no, I, I really need to talk to you. 224 00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:26,851 Look, there's no easy way to say... 225 00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,322 What, what are you doing? 226 00:10:29,117 --> 00:10:30,660 What are you doing? 227 00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:33,500 I'm standing here wearing pants. 228 00:10:34,236 --> 00:10:36,761 Are you sleeping here? What's going on? 229 00:10:36,776 --> 00:10:38,430 Okay, fine, yes. 230 00:10:38,445 --> 00:10:39,773 Not that it's any of your business 231 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,611 but my wife had a little spat a few weeks ago, 232 00:10:42,627 --> 00:10:45,563 and I've been sleeping here until she cools off. 233 00:10:45,576 --> 00:10:48,412 Okay, well, uh, you're right-- that is none of my business. 234 00:10:48,428 --> 00:10:50,653 Uh, look, there's no easy way to say this-- I... 235 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:52,042 Who am I kidding? 236 00:10:52,257 --> 00:10:55,202 She's never gonna take me back. 237 00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:02,313 It's okay. 238 00:11:08,097 --> 00:11:10,120 What did you want to say to me? 239 00:11:12,718 --> 00:11:14,422 Happy birthday, buddy. 240 00:11:24,638 --> 00:11:27,113 So, you've been living at the office? 241 00:11:27,245 --> 00:11:28,540 Yes. 242 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:31,670 I'm an architect without a home. 243 00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:34,290 You see the tragic irony in that? 244 00:11:34,307 --> 00:11:35,991 - Yeah, I do. - 'Cause I design homes. 245 00:11:36,008 --> 00:11:37,243 - I see it. - But I don't have a home. 246 00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:38,632 Not lost on me at all. 247 00:11:39,687 --> 00:11:42,282 But I don't understand-- why don't you just go to a hotel? 248 00:11:42,297 --> 00:11:44,773 You could be sleeping on a mattress instead of... 249 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:48,013 what appears to be torn-up drawings of my building. 250 00:11:48,026 --> 00:11:50,110 Why would I go to a hotel, when any second, 251 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,562 she's going to call and tell me to come home. 252 00:11:54,317 --> 00:11:56,813 She's a very special lady, Ted. 253 00:11:56,907 --> 00:12:01,150 She's quite... mannish. 254 00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:03,652 She gives me what I need. 255 00:12:03,735 --> 00:12:05,431 Do you understand that? 256 00:12:05,887 --> 00:12:08,221 Uh, no, I don't. 257 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,870 If you were lost in the wilderness, 258 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,252 she can provide for me. 259 00:12:14,386 --> 00:12:16,332 Well, that's the dream. 260 00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:20,283 I'm glad you came here tonight, Ted. 261 00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:21,272 Me too, Hammond. 262 00:12:21,288 --> 00:12:22,331 - Call me Ham. - No, thanks. 263 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,853 - Hammy D? - No, I think just Hammond. 264 00:12:24,966 --> 00:12:28,450 So, I'm guessing you didn't fire him. 265 00:12:30,728 --> 00:12:33,071 I was this close. 266 00:12:33,808 --> 00:12:36,120 Meanwhile, Lily had been up all night 267 00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:38,143 in the grips of a dilemma. 268 00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:50,720 - Oh honey, you're awake? - I'm awake. 269 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,682 - Is everything okay? - Yeah. 270 00:12:53,696 --> 00:12:56,612 I've kind of been wrestling with something. 271 00:12:56,627 --> 00:12:59,802 What if I told you I had a way to pay for our honeymoon? 272 00:12:59,815 --> 00:13:01,652 Baby, our honeymoon's already paid for. 273 00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:03,503 We're going to Howe Caverns. 274 00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:08,770 Well yeah, but-- but what if we didn't want to spend our honeymoon in a cave? 275 00:13:09,138 --> 00:13:12,471 It's not just a cave, it's a whole labyrinth of caves. 276 00:13:12,488 --> 00:13:14,391 It's an underground adventure. 277 00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:17,522 There's a cave that's so dark that you don't even know you're in there. 278 00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:20,550 I mean, we're going to experience a whole new kind of dark. 279 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:24,642 Well, what if I found a way to make a little extra money 280 00:13:24,657 --> 00:13:27,783 so that we spend our honeymoon not in Howe Caverns, 281 00:13:27,798 --> 00:13:30,223 but in Scotland? 282 00:13:30,237 --> 00:13:32,291 - Loch Ness? - Yeah. 283 00:13:32,307 --> 00:13:35,331 And you know, Edinburgh and the Highlands and Glasgow... 284 00:13:35,345 --> 00:13:38,230 Loch Ness. Nessy. 285 00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:42,771 Baby, I would love to search for the enchanted creature of the Emerald Loch, 286 00:13:42,785 --> 00:13:45,722 but... we can't afford that. 287 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,672 Maybe we can. 288 00:13:47,707 --> 00:13:50,893 Paint me. 289 00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:53,091 Okay, I don't get this. 290 00:13:53,106 --> 00:13:55,140 You've been making fun of that painting all this time 291 00:13:55,175 --> 00:13:56,782 and now you want me to paint you? 292 00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:59,451 We knew we could torture Marshall because he has shame. 293 00:13:59,466 --> 00:14:00,622 I do not. 294 00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:03,390 In my body, where the shame gland should be, 295 00:14:03,406 --> 00:14:05,813 there's a second awesome gland. 296 00:14:05,826 --> 00:14:07,172 True story. 297 00:14:07,336 --> 00:14:10,163 Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting. 298 00:14:10,777 --> 00:14:11,792 Yeah. 299 00:14:11,836 --> 00:14:14,551 A nude Barney is a challenge. 300 00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:18,860 But I think you're talented enough to immortalize this. 301 00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:21,710 Now is the time-- I'm 31. 302 00:14:21,725 --> 00:14:24,601 I'm at the peak of my physical beauty. 303 00:14:24,617 --> 00:14:28,862 If I were a woman, I'd have passed it long, long ago. 304 00:14:29,288 --> 00:14:31,120 Long ago. 305 00:14:31,257 --> 00:14:32,493 Forget it. 306 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,990 I promised Marshall he was the only guy I would ever see naked. 307 00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:40,872 I'll give you $5,000. 308 00:14:40,887 --> 00:14:42,412 We're going to Loch Ness! 309 00:14:42,427 --> 00:14:43,581 Yeah! 310 00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:48,333 That cabby would not shut up. 311 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,311 Yeah, we should call him a gabby. 312 00:14:50,328 --> 00:14:52,651 I think it, you say it. 313 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:57,002 Hey, uh... thanks for putting me up last night, buddy. 314 00:14:57,308 --> 00:14:58,673 Give 'em hell. 315 00:15:00,938 --> 00:15:02,302 Morning, team. 316 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:05,032 So, I have given it some thought, 317 00:15:05,048 --> 00:15:09,142 and I say we revisit columns. 318 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,793 Oh, God, not this again. 319 00:15:11,948 --> 00:15:15,510 Ted, a man in a toga just arrived and delivered a parchment. 320 00:15:15,528 --> 00:15:16,950 Let me read it: 321 00:15:17,645 --> 00:15:19,253 Oh! It's from ancient Greece. 322 00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:22,591 They want their basic architectural elements back. 323 00:15:22,605 --> 00:15:24,633 - Geez. - What? 324 00:15:24,655 --> 00:15:25,970 You didn't hear me? 325 00:15:25,988 --> 00:15:27,832 Toga, parchment... 326 00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:29,903 Can I see you for one second? 327 00:15:29,917 --> 00:15:32,592 Ooh, I'm in trouble now. 328 00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:37,031 What are you doing? 329 00:15:37,045 --> 00:15:38,590 I thought we were friends. 330 00:15:38,607 --> 00:15:40,680 You slept on my couch, you ate my cereal. 331 00:15:40,696 --> 00:15:43,070 I tossed you more toilet paper. 332 00:15:43,086 --> 00:15:44,352 We are friends. 333 00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:48,412 But that doesn't magically make your bad ideas good. 334 00:15:48,426 --> 00:15:50,211 What? I don't believe this! 335 00:15:50,225 --> 00:15:52,323 You're, you're, you're wearing my clothes! 336 00:15:52,335 --> 00:15:54,373 And my girlfriend's... sneakers-- 337 00:15:54,385 --> 00:15:56,583 man, you have weirdly small feet. 338 00:15:56,637 --> 00:16:00,423 Ted, I hope that you're not going to let our professional woes 339 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,401 interfere with our friendship, 340 00:16:02,418 --> 00:16:05,722 because I really kind of need you right now. 341 00:16:08,148 --> 00:16:10,152 Okay, let's get this over with. 342 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:13,100 Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. 343 00:16:13,115 --> 00:16:16,133 This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. 344 00:16:16,145 --> 00:16:18,793 I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift. 345 00:16:18,806 --> 00:16:20,200 Thank you. 346 00:16:20,215 --> 00:16:21,782 I meant me. 347 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:25,673 Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. 348 00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:28,011 Goofy and unburdened, with wit. 349 00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:30,712 But me, I want something more regal. 350 00:16:30,725 --> 00:16:32,891 Something my progeny could look at and say, 351 00:16:32,905 --> 00:16:35,653 "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." 352 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,373 He was wise... 353 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:39,560 and strong. 354 00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:43,943 I don't think your sword will fit. 355 00:16:43,955 --> 00:16:45,642 I get that a lot. 356 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,950 And so, as Lily began painting, 357 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,883 Marshall thought about the $5,000 358 00:16:50,896 --> 00:16:53,380 and what his fiancée was doing to earn it. 359 00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,090 This isn't right. 360 00:16:56,008 --> 00:16:58,043 This isn't right at all. 361 00:16:58,056 --> 00:17:00,560 Finally, he could take it no more. 362 00:17:03,908 --> 00:17:05,081 Hold still. 363 00:17:06,848 --> 00:17:08,441 Hold still. 364 00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:13,680 - Hold still! - Paint faster! 365 00:17:15,516 --> 00:17:18,643 Okay, I guess it's time. 366 00:17:19,186 --> 00:17:21,113 Drop your shorts. 367 00:17:21,405 --> 00:17:22,871 Yeah. 368 00:17:23,837 --> 00:17:25,120 Wait, wait! 369 00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:27,783 That wasn't enough buildup. I need... 370 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:31,012 In a world without justice, one man-- 371 00:17:31,026 --> 00:17:33,191 - Oh, just drop them! - All right. 372 00:17:35,768 --> 00:17:38,770 - No! No, this is not right! - We had a deal! 373 00:17:38,788 --> 00:17:40,700 Well, I'm going back on the deal. Barney, get out! 374 00:17:40,735 --> 00:17:42,452 - You...! - It's over! 375 00:17:45,548 --> 00:17:48,630 Lily, I can't let you go through with this! 376 00:17:48,645 --> 00:17:52,093 I found a castle we can stay in, but it's an extra two grand. 377 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,901 It's just not right! 378 00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:56,570 It's beautiful and they say it's haunted. 379 00:17:56,587 --> 00:18:00,290 I can't let the woman I love compromise her values for money! 380 00:18:00,306 --> 00:18:03,260 I totally think we can get some more money out of him. 381 00:18:03,277 --> 00:18:05,950 I'm never letting my fiancée, ever...! 382 00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:07,470 Oh, you're still here? 383 00:18:07,488 --> 00:18:08,693 Before you say anything, 384 00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:10,233 I'll give you an extra five grand. 385 00:18:10,246 --> 00:18:11,520 We accept. 386 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:15,410 You people are so easy to control. 387 00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:18,680 Dance for me, puppets, dance. 388 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:22,670 And that's how Uncle Barney paid for Lily and Marshall's honeymoon. 389 00:18:24,238 --> 00:18:26,271 Come on, Ted, listen, why don't we get back 390 00:18:26,286 --> 00:18:28,022 and finish drawing the plans for a building 391 00:18:28,036 --> 00:18:30,402 which, in my opinion, is never going to get built, 392 00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:33,151 so you and I can get out of here and grab a couple of beers. 393 00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:34,152 No. 394 00:18:34,165 --> 00:18:37,610 Look, Hammond, there's no easy way to say this but... 395 00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:38,743 Looking for Hammond Druthers. 396 00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:40,592 Oh, that's me. I'm Hammond Druthers. 397 00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:44,341 These are divorce papers. 398 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,952 You've been served. 399 00:18:45,976 --> 00:18:47,590 Oh, God. 400 00:18:48,036 --> 00:18:50,483 She's really going through with this. 401 00:18:50,528 --> 00:18:53,743 So that's it. It's over. 402 00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:56,110 There is no easy way to say this, but... 403 00:18:56,126 --> 00:18:59,293 She's giving me the remains of Wolfie? 404 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:01,731 My dog is dead? 405 00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,453 Oh, my God. I can't believe this. 406 00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:07,713 She always played too rough with him. 407 00:19:08,598 --> 00:19:11,371 Believe me, there is no easy way to say this-- 408 00:19:11,386 --> 00:19:15,710 - # Happy birthday to you... # - You've got to be kidding me! 409 00:19:15,726 --> 00:19:18,553 Guys, you have no idea how much this means to me right now. 410 00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:20,120 Wait, his birthday was yesterday! 411 00:19:20,138 --> 00:19:22,372 Yeah, but a bunch of us were up at the conference in Montreal, 412 00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:25,603 - so we thought... - No! No birthday! No! 413 00:19:25,616 --> 00:19:28,211 I got something to say and I'm gonna get it out. 414 00:19:28,227 --> 00:19:31,242 Hammond, listen to me. I am sorry that your dog died, 415 00:19:31,256 --> 00:19:33,773 and that your wife is divorcing you and that... 416 00:19:33,785 --> 00:19:36,260 your life is falling apart and that these guys missed your birthday. 417 00:19:36,295 --> 00:19:38,161 And there is no easy way to say... 418 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,932 What are you doing? What's going on? 419 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,433 Oh, God... 420 00:19:41,445 --> 00:19:44,262 Oh, come on, you're not going to pull that, are you? 421 00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:49,293 Oh! Look, yeah, right. Now we're falling onto the ground. 422 00:19:49,308 --> 00:19:52,372 Well, nice try, but guess what? 423 00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,181 You're fired! 424 00:19:54,196 --> 00:19:57,362 You're fired-- you get it? You hear me? 425 00:19:57,378 --> 00:20:00,133 You're gone! You're fired! 426 00:20:15,825 --> 00:20:19,423 In my defense, I think we all suspected Hammond 427 00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:21,191 might have been faking. 428 00:20:22,626 --> 00:20:26,750 On the plus side, the EMTs seem to think he's going to be just fine 429 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:31,232 and, as you saw, they did admit that I did not cause the heart attack, 430 00:20:31,248 --> 00:20:33,791 even if they said it a bit begrudgingly. 431 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:37,892 And there it was, rock bottom: 432 00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:39,700 They all hated me. 433 00:20:39,736 --> 00:20:41,781 But just when all seemed lost, 434 00:20:41,796 --> 00:20:45,030 I had the greatest idea of my entire career. 435 00:20:48,537 --> 00:20:51,731 Margarita Fridays-- great idea, boss. 436 00:21:03,647 --> 00:21:05,673 Okay, it's done. 437 00:21:06,127 --> 00:21:09,032 I'm gonna step out, so you can admire it. 438 00:21:09,047 --> 00:21:10,841 Thank you very much, Lily. 439 00:21:14,255 --> 00:21:15,852 Marshall, do you have the money? 440 00:21:15,868 --> 00:21:17,921 - Yeah. - Let's get out of here! 441 00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:21,400 A smooth area?! You gave me the Ken doll?! 442 00:21:25,225 --> 00:21:27,530 She left out Little Barney. 443 00:21:28,378 --> 00:21:30,503 Barnacle Junior. 444 00:21:31,086 --> 00:21:33,491 My Barnana is... 445 00:21:35,158 --> 00:21:37,323 Barnito Supreme.