1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,900 Kids, in the spring of 2007, everything was great between me and Robin. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,500 So we decided to try and make it even better. 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,500 We decided to move in together. 4 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,400 So, I can have the moving truck here by 8:00 am. 5 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,800 Does that sound good to everybody? 6 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,900 By the way, what are you guys doing with Ted's room? 7 00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,800 'Cause if you need help with the rent, I'll take it. 8 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,600 Why would you want to live with us? 9 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,100 I don't call what you guys do "living." 10 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:25,400 Here's the deal, I need a room closer to the bar. 11 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,900 It takes me exactly 23 minutes 12 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:30,600 to get a girl from the bar back to my apartment. 13 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,200 A lot can go wrong in 23 minutes. 14 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:38,100 This is going to be so hot. 15 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,100 She's paying. 16 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,900 I swear, if he doesn't call me back, 17 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,300 I'm going to go through with this. 18 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,500 Please hurry, sir. 19 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,700 I want to do dirty stuff with you. 20 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,000 Stuff I won't let him do. 21 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,400 Every red light run is an extra $20. 22 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,600 Baby? 23 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,700 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was all my fault. 24 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,100 I am so drunk. 25 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:15,400 When I'm this drunk, I go crazy! 26 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,100 I bet you do. 27 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,600 Check this out. 28 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,200 What up NYPD? 29 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,200 So close. 30 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,200 See? If I had a room here all I have to do is get them upstairs. 31 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,200 Come on, guys. It'll be great! 32 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,200 We'll come in after you guys are asleep 33 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,000 and I'll be gone before you wake up. 34 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:39,900 So, you get to have sex and we get to wake some skanky girl up in the morning 35 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,300 and kick her out? 36 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,600 God, Lily. 37 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,400 Some guy just told her that he loved her then pretended to go to the bathroom 38 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,800 and never came back you can't make her a cup of coffee? 39 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,200 Real nice. 40 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:08,000 I put all your heavy jackets in this box marked "winter." 41 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:12,800 And all your colorful sweaters in this box marked "Bill Cosby." 42 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,200 Make fun, but America loved that guy for a reason. 43 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,500 Wow! 44 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,800 Almost done. 45 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,200 Not so fast. 46 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,100 Take your sword. 47 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,800 Wow. 48 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:29,800 - End of an era. - Yeah. 49 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,100 It's a bummer to break up the set, but you're going to need that sword. 50 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:36,200 It's true-- my building is infested with dragons. 51 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,100 Looks like our little boy is finally moving out. 52 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,600 It seems like just yesterday he was a cute little freshmen. 53 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,700 Discovering Reggae and ultimate Frisbee. 54 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,200 He did it later than the other kids but we never pushed him. 55 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,700 We knew he'd get there. 56 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,000 You haven't moved in yet, have you? 57 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,700 Good. You guys have to take this quiz. 58 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,100 I found it in a magazine. 59 00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:00,100 It's called the "Are you ready to move in together?" quiz. 60 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,100 Well, if it's anything like you're "Are you wearing panties" quiz, 61 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,400 I'm out. 62 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,300 Question one, 63 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:09,400 Ted, "Do you want to move in with Robin?" 64 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,300 Mm. Yes. 65 00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:12,000 Oh, you got the first one wrong. 66 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,100 The answer is "no," you secretly want to be single 67 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,300 and hang out with your awesome friend Barney." 68 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,700 Question two. 69 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:22,800 Robin, "Do you think you can score a hotter guy than Ted?" 70 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,900 Correct. The answer was awkward silence. 71 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:32,700 Question three, "Did I just make up this quiz to prove a point?" 72 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:33,800 Yes. 73 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,400 Yes, I did. 74 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:40,100 Really? You mean it's not from Old Yellow Legal Pad Magazine? 75 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,000 So? We all agree? 76 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,500 We move Ted's stuff back up here? 77 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,500 Mm... no. We're still moving in together. 78 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,900 Why? This is crazy. 79 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,500 Ted you're throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you. 80 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,600 With her shiny hair and her boobed shaped boobs. 81 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,100 This is bad for you, too, you know. 82 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,300 How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup? 83 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,600 I'm not wearing makeup right now. 84 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,000 Holy crap, you're beautiful. 85 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:10,200 All right then, how will you feel when you can't sneak the occasional cigarette? 86 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,900 Oh, come on, Robin doesn't smoke. 87 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,400 Wait, do you? 88 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,200 Of course not. Why? 89 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,200 Don't tell me how to live my life! 90 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,900 Ted, I can't let you do this. 91 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,200 Come on. This is happening. 92 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,000 So instead of fighting it why, why don't you just help? 93 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,200 - You want me to help you? - Yeah. 94 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,400 Okay, Ted. 95 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,600 I'll help you. 96 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,200 Can't believe we actually got him to take a box down. 97 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,400 Maybe he's finally getting on board. 98 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,100 Where's the truck? 99 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,500 Where's Barney? 100 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,300 Wait for it. 101 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,600 I can't believe this! Everything I own in the world is in there. 102 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,500 Except for this box of pot lids. 103 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,100 And the sword. 104 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,000 I'm going to kill him. I swear to God I'm going to kill him! 105 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,800 Right. Maybe I'll just hold on to that. For now. 106 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,900 Marshall, we live alone. 107 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,400 This is so great! 108 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,300 We can finally do all the things we always said we wanted to do if we lived alone. 109 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,800 Oh, I know what I want to start with. 110 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,500 So, here we are, right? 111 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,800 Sitting around the apartment naked. 112 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,700 - Awesome. - Yep. 113 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,100 It's not as awesome as I thought it would be. 114 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,300 - My butt itches. - I'm cold. 115 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,700 I noticed. 116 00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,900 Yeah, like you're one to talk, Pointy. 117 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,500 Barney, I don't know if you got my other 47 messages, 118 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,300 but if my stuff isn't here within the hour I'm calling the cops. 119 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,500 This is the last time I'm calling you. 120 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:01,100 Because my charger's in the back of the truck. 121 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,900 Don't worry, it's Barney. He'll bring the stuff back. 122 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,500 No, it's just... I was really looking forward to settling in, you know? 123 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,200 Maybe setting up my TV. 124 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,200 Watching a movie in bed. 125 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,700 What? 126 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:16,400 Do we really want a TV in the bedroom? 127 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,300 I thought we did. 128 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,000 I'm not sure that we do. 129 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,400 Well, where else would we put my TV? 130 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:26,000 We could just put it in our storage unit in the basement. 131 00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,300 But wouldn't we miss my TV? 132 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,600 - Would we? - Yes, we would. 133 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,300 We've had that TV for a long time 134 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:37,400 and we would feel more at home if it were setup in our bedroom. 135 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,500 - We need wine, don't we? - Yes, we do. 136 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,500 Should we, um, move this to the bedroom? 137 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,800 Why? 138 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,800 Ted doesn't live here anymore. 139 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,300 We can do it wherever we want. 140 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,100 You know what else? 141 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,200 We don't have to be quiet anymore. 142 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,500 We can be as loud as we want. 143 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,600 Okay, I think we need to lay down some ground rules. 144 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,700 Just because we can be loud doesn't mean we have to be loud. 145 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,200 And although it might turn you on, 146 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,500 you screaming, "I'm the best," doesn't do much for me. 147 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,600 Well, it's a lot better than yelling, "Ted's not here," over and over again. 148 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:27,200 Well, at least what I said is true. 149 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,800 Well, that was unnecessary. 150 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:36,600 Well, since I only have one box I figure I might as well unpack it. 151 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,900 Mm, where do you think we should put it? 152 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,900 Well, unless you have a separate pot lid room, I was thinking the cupboard. 153 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000 What? 154 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,300 Uh, the thing is my kitchen is kind of small. 155 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,700 And, um, I already have a bunch of pot lids 156 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,600 and mine come with pots, so... 157 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:53,800 You're saying there's no way to make room for the single box of stuff 158 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,400 I try to move into our place? 159 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:57,200 Well, why don't you just take it down to the... 160 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,900 Do not say storage space. 161 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,300 I was going to say Dumpster. 162 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,500 Damn it, Robin, this is all I have left in the world-- 163 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,100 eight pot lids and a sword. 164 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:08,700 Yeah, about the sword. 165 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,400 Hello. 166 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,600 Put on the suit, Mr. Mosby. 167 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,100 Barney, I know it's you. Where's my stuff? 168 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,300 It's not me. 169 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,500 If you want to see your precious possessions again, 170 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,100 put on the suit. 171 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,000 What suit? 172 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,400 Ding-dong. Oh, what's that? The doorbell. 173 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,700 That's the suit I'm talking about. 174 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,900 I haven't gotten to the door yet. 175 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,600 Oh, okay, let me know when you get there. 176 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,700 Okay, I opened it. And there's a suit there. 177 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,900 That's the suit I'm talking about. 178 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,900 - Barney.... - This isn't Barney. 179 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,900 But I hear that guy's awesome. 180 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,900 All right. Listen very carefully. 181 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:51,000 You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges. 182 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,600 Number one, put on the suit. 183 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,400 Number two, meet me at McClaren's in an hour. 184 00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:59,700 How will I know who to look for since we've never met? 185 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,500 I look like Barney. 186 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,800 Oh, hey, Ted. 187 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,800 Suit and sneakers. 188 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:15,300 A little Ellen DeGeneres but you pull it off. 189 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,500 I don't have any other shoes because you stole them along 190 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,400 with everything else I own in the world. 191 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,900 Where's the truck, Barney? 192 00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,200 Barney. 193 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,800 People's whose trucks I'm not holding for ransom call me Barney. 194 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,000 I think you should call me The Commodore. 195 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:32,800 - I'm not calling you... - You're not getting your stuff back. 196 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,800 Can I please have my stuff back... 197 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,600 The Commodore? 198 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:38,800 No. 199 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,600 Here's the deal, Ted, you're my bro. 200 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,100 And you're about to become a henpecked, beaten down, shell of a man. 201 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:51,300 So tonight, we are going to have one last awesome night together as bros. 202 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,300 It's a bro-ing away party. 203 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,500 A special bro-casion. 204 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,300 A bro-choice rally. 205 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,100 Bro-time at the Apollo. 206 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,500 Oh, bro me. 207 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,400 Well, so what do I have to do? 208 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,700 No, it's not what you have to do, it's what you want to do, 209 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,400 and you want to have a good time 210 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,500 before you go take Fun Ted out back and shoot him. 211 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,000 So... first thing on the docket... 212 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,000 - get me that girl's number. - Absolutely not. 213 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,500 Mm. That's too bad. 214 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,400 Hey, hypothetical question: if I was all your stuff, 215 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,900 would I rather be at the bottom of the East River or The Hudson? 216 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,700 Hey, look, world's strongest man is on. 217 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,900 Ooh, it's the one where Lou Ferrigno pulls the bus 218 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,800 from the Partridge family with his teeth. 219 00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,300 It's the best one. Hey, Ted, get in... 220 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:46,200 - We live alone. - Yay. 221 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,100 Well, I win. 222 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,200 You need to give my friend your phone number. 223 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,900 Wow, I really didn't think Lou Ferrigno could pull that bus. 224 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,700 Are you sure this is live? It looks pretty old. 225 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,400 Yeah, that's 'cause the, uh, TV is old. 226 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,200 So, I'll, uh, call you tomorrow? 227 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,300 Yeah. Um, not too early. I have church. 228 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,000 You were impressive, buddy. 229 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,900 Nice work. All right, next challenge. 230 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,700 No. No next challenge. Look, this is my first night living with Robin. 231 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,000 She's probably pissed I'm spending it out with you. 232 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,600 This might be our last hurrah, my little friend. 233 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,400 Marshall, I am gonna cook you the best dinner of your life. 234 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,700 How would you like a... 235 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,500 one-egg omelet with some ketchup and film? 236 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,700 Guess Ted's the one who did the shopping. 237 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,800 Ooh, look, a microwave pizza! 238 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,300 Guess the microwave was Ted's, too. 239 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,600 Yeah. 240 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,600 So were all the towels. 241 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:58,100 Turns out that everything that was useful in this apartment was Ted's. 242 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:02,100 Everything that was a Foghat poster we bought ironically in college was mine. 243 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,100 Marshall. 244 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,500 Yeah, baby? 245 00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,300 I miss Ted. 246 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,800 Is it too soon to call him? 247 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,300 No, we shouldn't. 248 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,500 I don't want to interrupt his first night living with Robin. 249 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,500 Ha, nice shooting. 250 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,100 You know, if we win this one it's free onion rings at the Intergalactic Snack Shack. 251 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,100 What a bargain. 252 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,100 We only had to spend 20 bucks a game. 253 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,900 Admit it, you're having fun. 254 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,100 Maybe. 255 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,300 I mean, it was pretty funny when that little girl fell over that space barrel. 256 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,500 Nice... We win. 257 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,700 Oh, walk of shame, walk of game-- what up? 258 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,600 Okay. Let's go one more. 259 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,000 - I don't know. - You know you want to. 260 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,800 All right, let's do it-- I just got to call Robin real quick. 261 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,600 Oh, so that's what it's gonna be like from now on? 262 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,800 No. Okay, okay. You call your old lady and ask permission to have fun. 263 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:58,800 Me, I will be at the Snack Shack eating our victory onion rings Han style. 264 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,400 Solo. 265 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,200 - Hey, Ted. - Hey, sweetie listen, 266 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,700 I'm really sorry but I'm gonna be pretty late, so don't wait up. 267 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,000 Oh, it's totally fine. You do what you got to do. 268 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,500 Thanks. You're the best. I love you. 269 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,400 I love you, too. Bye. 270 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,800 Hey, sorry about that. Thanks for holding. 271 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,300 Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription to Guns and Ammo, 272 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,600 that would be great. 273 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,500 No, it's a great magazine. Really great. 274 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,300 They've printed three of my letters. 275 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,000 It's just that my boyfriend is moving in 276 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,700 and he kind of doesn't approve of the whole gun thing. 277 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,800 A free hand grenade phone? 278 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:42,100 You know what? Let me give you my work address. 279 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,000 I did it, baby! 280 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:49,000 I got beer. I got food. 281 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,900 We don't need Ted anymore. 282 00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:53,100 I am the provider of this apartment now, 283 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,800 and I have provided! 284 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,000 "Provode"? Provided. 285 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,000 Anyway, I got us everything we need. 286 00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:02,000 Could you toss me the toilet paper? 287 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,700 Be right back, baby. Sit tight. 288 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:13,800 Hey, I got to admit, um... I didn't think I would, but, uh... 289 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,700 I had a really good time tonight. 290 00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,900 You're a good friend, Barney. 291 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,100 Hey, man, why don't you, uh... 292 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,500 why don't you tell me where my truck is. 293 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,500 No, I don't think so. 294 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,100 Where's my truck?! 295 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,000 Do you know why I haven't given you any of your possessions back yet? 296 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,900 Uh, because you're Admiral Jerk of the British Royal Douchery? 297 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:39,500 Because you don't want them back. 298 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,300 You could've left at any time tonight, but you didn't, Ted. 299 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,300 Why is that? 300 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,600 Because I didn't want to go back to Robin's without my stuff. 301 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,800 False. You know what I think? 302 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:51,200 I think you spent one day with her and it already sucked. 303 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,800 I think you didn't like being there, she didn't like having you there 304 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:56,900 and you both realized that you made a huge mistake. 305 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,100 And that's why you spent your first night living with Robin 306 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,700 out playing laser tag with me. 307 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,000 And that's why three seconds ago 308 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,700 you didn't call it "my place" or "our place" or "home," 309 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,700 you called it "Robin's." 310 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,900 You know what? 311 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,700 You can keep my stuff. 312 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,200 - Hey. - Hey, did you get the truck back? 313 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,300 No. 314 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,800 Why not? What happened? 315 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:27,000 Oh, he pissed me off so much, I left. 316 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,800 Anyway, I just wanted to come back here, space out and watch a movie. 317 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,600 Do you anything that wasn't made by John Woo? 318 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,600 Why, do you? 319 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:40,500 You know, forget the movie. I just want to sit. 320 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,800 What? 321 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,200 It's just I eat at that table. 322 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,600 Fine, I'll take my shoes off. 323 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,700 You know, why don't you just throw me down in the storage space 324 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:53,900 where you have room for me. 325 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,800 - Ted, come on. - No, you come on. 326 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,000 I had to jump through hoops all night for Barney 327 00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,800 and then it took me an hour to get home because his place 328 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,700 is so far away from the bar. 329 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,300 - Oh, my God. - What? 330 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,700 I know where Barney put my truck. 331 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,600 Let's go back to my place. 332 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,600 I bet you my place is closer. 333 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,500 Here we are. 334 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,000 You live in the loading dock behind the bar? 335 00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:25,100 I don't live here, baby. This is just my ride. 336 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,700 No, no, no, no. I'm not getting into any van, 337 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,700 I've seen Silence of the Lambs. 338 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,800 Oh, my God. We're drinking champagne in the back of a moving van. 339 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,100 Why, yes, Sara. Yes, we are. 340 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:52,200 Those other Rockettes who called you slow are crazy. 341 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,800 Oh, my God. I knew it. You're kidnapping me. 342 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,500 - Help! Help! - No, no, no, no. 343 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,000 I can explain. 344 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,700 Hello? 345 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,700 Enjoying the ride? 346 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,000 Ted? Ted, you let us out of here. You let us out of here this instant! 347 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,600 This isn't Ted. 348 00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:26,100 But I hear that guy's awesome. 349 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:35,400 So I took Sara home and I took Barney to a bar near his apartment. 350 00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,800 Apparently, that strategy had never occurred to him. 351 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,200 That poor girl must've been so confused. 352 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,300 Yeah. 353 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,000 Well, at least Barney learned a valuable lesson. 354 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,400 You do not want to get scissor kicked in the groin by a Rockette. 355 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,000 So, uh, I guess we should get you unpacked. 356 00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,300 Yeah. 357 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,300 Yeah, I guess we should. 358 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,200 Lily... deep within the Amazonian rainforest, 359 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:07,100 there is a type of tree that only grows around the body of an existing tree. 360 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,300 It cannot survive without this tree. 361 00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,500 It is supported... 362 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,100 by this tree. 363 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,300 Lily, we are that tree. 364 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,200 - The inside tree or the outside tree? - The outside tree. 365 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,500 - Shouldn't there be three trees? - You and I are one tree. 366 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,000 Okay, look, Lily, the point is that we grew around Ted 367 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,300 and without him, we're slowly dying. 368 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,100 What do we do? 369 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,700 I think we can marry each other. 370 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 But we also have to marry Ted. 371 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,400 I'll tell you right now, my Dad is not gonna pay for that wedding. 372 00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:45,400 Ted! 373 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,100 What are you doing here? 374 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,100 Robin and I aren't gonna move in together after all. 375 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,700 What happened? 376 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,900 I thought we decided we were ready? 377 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,400 I know. 378 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,300 How did we come to that again? 379 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,600 I don't remember. We were fighting? 380 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,800 - It's all so blurry. - Yeah. 381 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,600 The "let's move in together" sex was pretty amazing. 382 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:07,600 I know. 383 00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:10,800 I did that thing with no hands I normally need both to do. 384 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,200 You know... I'm really happy with you. 385 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,100 I really happy with you. The way things are. 386 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:20,900 Maybe we shouldn't mess with that. 387 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,700 I don't know that we should. 388 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:32,300 Hey... I hear the "let's not move in together" sex is pretty incredible. 389 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,200 Let's go back to my place. 390 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,000 - Ooh, thank you. - You're welcome. 391 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,900 - No, thank you. - You'll be very happy. 392 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,500 Look, I know you guys are really excited about having the place to yourself. 393 00:19:56,700 --> 00:20:00,400 Until after the wedding, I mean, if it's not too much of an imposition... 394 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,700 God, this feels so right. 395 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,000 Never leave us again. 396 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,600 Guys, Robin's down in the truck and there's actually a lot of boxes, 397 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,100 so maybe we should... 398 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,200 Do we have time for this? 399 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:28,000 Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. 400 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,400 The category: top ten things I would've called my truck... 401 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,200 It was never your truck. 402 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,900 ...if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back. 403 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,000 It was a rental. 404 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,900 Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." 405 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,200 Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." 406 00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:45,500 Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." 407 00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:49,700 Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." 408 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,500 You Scream. 409 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,700 Number six, "Feels On Wheels." Hello! 410 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:59,800 Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." 411 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:02,700 Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." 412 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:06,500 Number three, "The Esca-Laid." 413 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,400 Number two, "The Slam-Boney." 414 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,200 and... the number one thing I would've called my truck 415 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,500 if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... 416 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,100 "The '69 Chevy." 417 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,700 Sorry.