1 00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:01,634 NARRATOR: In November 2009, 2 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:03,367 Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily hosted 3 00:00:03,367 --> 00:00:05,500 the first Thanksgiving at their very own apartment. 4 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,367 And Marshall had found the perfect turkey. 5 00:00:08,367 --> 00:00:11,634 Oh, baby, it is beautiful. 6 00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:14,300 It's 22 pounds. It's organic. 7 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,234 You remember my bald Uncle Heinrek? 8 00:00:16,234 --> 00:00:18,333 It looks exactly like his head. 9 00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:19,901 Oh, my God. 10 00:00:19,901 --> 00:00:21,433 My turkey... 11 00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:23,300 My turkey! 12 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,934 So, when we showed up for the big day, 13 00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:28,101 Marshall was pretty bummed out. 14 00:00:28,101 --> 00:00:30,134 Well, we got the turkey. MARSHALL: No. 15 00:00:30,134 --> 00:00:32,067 You didn't. You got the pathetic replacement turkey. 16 00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:33,967 Damn it, you know, why didn't I just listen 17 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,134 to the prerecorded voice of former Mayor Ed Koch 18 00:00:36,134 --> 00:00:37,600 reminding me to take my belongings? 19 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,400 No, Marshall, you don't understand. 20 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,767 Robin and I went to the Port Authority Lost and Found, 21 00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:44,667 and there, sitting in their fridge... 22 00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,101 ROBIN: Marshall Eriksen... 23 00:00:46,101 --> 00:00:48,901 is this your turkey? Yes! 24 00:00:48,901 --> 00:00:50,567 That's my turkey! 25 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:53,234 Oh, come here, you handsome little bastard! 26 00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:55,734 Okay, I'm going to go put this in the oven. Okay. 27 00:00:55,734 --> 00:00:58,367 Oh, my God! You guys are the best friends ever! 28 00:00:59,201 --> 00:01:01,201 It was totally a team effort. 29 00:01:01,201 --> 00:01:03,667 I'm so ha... 30 00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,634 Guys, I don't know what to say. 31 00:01:05,634 --> 00:01:07,201 I mean, it's Thanksgiving, but "thanks" 32 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,534 just doesn't seem like enough. 33 00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:10,367 Come on, buddy, you would've done the same thing for us. 34 00:01:10,368 --> 00:01:11,368 Yeah, I would, and you know why? 35 00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:12,967 Because I love you guys. 36 00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:15,167 And I'm gonna show you just how much. 37 00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:18,067 Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky, 38 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:20,668 I bequeath unto you 39 00:01:20,668 --> 00:01:21,933 the fourth slap. 40 00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:22,900 (both gasp) 41 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,000 Wait, what? 42 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,100 Kids, you remember 43 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,100 Barney and Marshall' "Slap Bet." 44 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:30,234 When Barney lost, Marshall won the right to slap Barney 45 00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:31,634 five times as hard as he could. 46 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:34,367 So far, he'd used three of those five slaps. 47 00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:35,867 (Barney grunts) 48 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:37,867 With the third being doled out exactly 49 00:01:37,867 --> 00:01:41,167 two years earlier on Thanksgiving Day 2007. 50 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,401 A day that history came to know 51 00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:44,933 as "Slapsgiving." 52 00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:46,100 Are you saying... 53 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,601 ...what we think you're saying? 54 00:01:47,601 --> 00:01:49,200 Probably not. 55 00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:51,267 Unless you think I'm saying 56 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:53,833 "Slapsgiving Two: Revenge Of The Slap," 57 00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:56,934 in which case, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying! 58 00:01:57,134 --> 00:01:59,433 (Ted and Robin cheer) No way! Uh-uh. 59 00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:00,967 Slaps aren't transferable. 60 00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:02,700 Lily is the Slap Bet Commissioner. Lil? 61 00:02:03,801 --> 00:02:05,767 Slaps are transferable. 62 00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:07,634 No! Transferable! 63 00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:09,134 Wait, Marshall, you realize you'll only have 64 00:02:09,134 --> 00:02:10,300 one left after this. 65 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,367 Are you sure you want to spend this slap today? 66 00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:15,034 Life is short. I figured, Slap-e Diem. 67 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,834 Okay, rule number one: the slap must occur before sundown, 68 00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,834 so as not to interfere with Lily's meal. 69 00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,333 Damn straight. Two, you guys have to decide 70 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,901 amongst yourselves who gets to do it. 71 00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:23,901 Three... 72 00:02:23,901 --> 00:02:25,467 we're going to tie Barney to this 73 00:02:25,467 --> 00:02:28,034 chair, which shall henceforth be referred to as 74 00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:30,001 The Slapping Throne. Sound fair? Totally. 75 00:02:30,001 --> 00:02:31,767 ROBIN: Amazing. Absolutely not! 76 00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:35,201 It was all set to be the best Thanksgiving ever. 77 00:02:35,201 --> 00:02:37,067 Until... (doorbell rings) 78 00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,801 Are we expecting somebody else? 79 00:02:38,801 --> 00:02:41,534 It was someone Lily hadn't seen or spoken to 80 00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:43,700 in three years. 81 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:45,534 Dad. 82 00:02:45,534 --> 00:02:51,934 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 83 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,301 Now, Lily and her dad, Mickey, 84 00:03:00,301 --> 00:03:02,501 had always had a tough relationship. 85 00:03:02,501 --> 00:03:03,833 Mickey's dream was to invent 86 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,768 the next great American board game. 87 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,734 But his ideas were always a little off. 88 00:03:07,734 --> 00:03:09,534 Daddy? Yeah? 89 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,668 You missed my ballet recital. 90 00:03:11,668 --> 00:03:13,167 Yes, sweetie, but, look! 91 00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:16,267 I just put the finishing touches on my new, hit board game, 92 00:03:16,267 --> 00:03:18,768 "Tijuana Slumlord." 93 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,267 Daddy? Uh-huh? 94 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:21,268 You missed my gymnastics meet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 95 00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:25,134 But this is the one! 96 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:30,134 "Car Battery: How Long Can You Hold On?" 97 00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:32,067 (chuckling) 98 00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:33,867 Here, Princess. 99 00:03:33,867 --> 00:03:35,134 Grab these. 100 00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:38,168 Daddy? Mm-hmm. 101 00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:39,634 I had a nightmare. 102 00:03:39,634 --> 00:03:41,934 Aw, sweetie. 103 00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:44,901 Here, come play Daddy's new game: 104 00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:47,300 "There's A Clown Demon Under The Bed!" 105 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,700 (screaming) 106 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,867 Her whole life, Mickey disappointed Lily. 107 00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:54,467 And she always put up with it, until one day in 2006 108 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,667 when Lily went to visit her grandparents. 109 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,134 So, Rita, are you excited about the, uh, 110 00:03:58,134 --> 00:03:59,333 the big move to Florida? 111 00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,534 Actually, dear, slight change of plans. 112 00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:03,801 We're staying here for the time being. 113 00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:06,433 We had a slight financial hiccup. 114 00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:07,500 MICKEY: Ma! 115 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,333 The straw to my juice box broke! 116 00:04:12,934 --> 00:04:14,901 Ma, chop, chop! 117 00:04:15,401 --> 00:04:18,034 Oh, hey, guys. 118 00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,867 What a pleasant surprise. 119 00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:21,034 Dad, what happened 120 00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,567 to your apartment? 121 00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:24,833 Oh, well, I had a little falling out with my roommate. 122 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:25,900 What happened? 123 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,267 He wanted me to pay rent. 124 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,134 Got kind of ugly. Dad! 125 00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:30,334 You should be paying rent, 126 00:04:30,334 --> 00:04:32,501 not living in your parents' basement. 127 00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:34,200 Hey, it's not my first choice. 128 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,034 Having the old farts right upstairs 129 00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:37,501 is crimpin' my style a bit. 130 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:39,767 Clearly, they're not getting the whole 131 00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:41,534 "sock on the doorknob" thing. 132 00:04:41,534 --> 00:04:42,667 Oh, they caught you with a girl? 133 00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:45,268 In a way. 134 00:04:45,268 --> 00:04:47,867 Bye, sweetheart. I'm off to work. 135 00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:49,400 Work? You're retired. 136 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,101 Now that I have extra mouth to feed, 137 00:04:51,101 --> 00:04:52,867 I had to go back to the steel mill. 138 00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:54,001 Rita? 139 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,234 Where's my truss? 140 00:04:55,234 --> 00:04:58,500 So, not only did you stop them From moving to Florida, 141 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,234 but now you forced Grandpa to go back to work? 142 00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:02,235 Just until I get Aldrin games Unlimted 143 00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:05,767 off the ground with my new sensation: 144 00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:07,901 "Dog Fight Promoter." 145 00:05:08,901 --> 00:05:11,700 And then Lily gave her dad a look that Marshall 146 00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,567 had only seen a few times before. 147 00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:17,001 A look we all prayed never to be on the receiving end of: 148 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,300 her "You're Dead To Me" look. 149 00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:25,767 Which brings us back to Thanksgiving of 2009. 150 00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:28,168 Hey, Princess. 151 00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:30,300 I brought "Diseases!" 152 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:35,301 What is he doing here? 153 00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:37,267 I don't know, but maybe we should, 154 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,501 uh, let him in and find out. 155 00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:39,867 No, I don't want to see him! 156 00:05:39,867 --> 00:05:41,167 Get rid of him! 157 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,534 Hey, Mickey. 158 00:05:48,534 --> 00:05:50,501 Just hang tight, okay? 159 00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:51,568 We'll, we’ll work this out. 160 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:52,733 Take your time, amigo. 161 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,967 I'm okays long as I have "Diseases!" 162 00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:56,501 The fun's infectious. 163 00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:58,834 (both laughing) 164 00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:04,633 God, I hope Lily's okay. 165 00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:06,967 Me, too. She doesn't talk about it much, 166 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,267 but this thing with her dad causes her a lot of pain. 167 00:06:09,267 --> 00:06:12,667 Just tell me which one of you's gonna slap me! 168 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,633 What? I'm dying over here! 169 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,968 Ted reaches for a chip, I flinch! 170 00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:18,467 Robin fixes her hair, I flinch! 171 00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:21,300 I'm doing so much flinching. It's bad for my skin. 172 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:24,034 I'm getting crow's feet. Crow's feet! 173 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,534 Lily, come on. It's been 174 00:06:26,534 --> 00:06:28,567 three years, okay? That's long enough. 175 00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:32,034 Having him in my life causes me nothing but stress. 176 00:06:32,035 --> 00:06:35,035 It's just easier for him to be dead to me. 177 00:06:35,434 --> 00:06:37,034 Okay, Lily, look. 178 00:06:37,034 --> 00:06:39,734 I supported you when our neighbor, Mr. Sias, 179 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,100 was "dead to you." 180 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:44,068 Hey! That's our newspaper. 181 00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:46,601 You'll get it back in 15 minutes. 182 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:49,867 Make it 20. I had a steak last night. 183 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,601 And I was fine when your 184 00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:01,034 bridesmaid, Whitney, was "dead to you." 185 00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:02,567 Oh, Lily! 186 00:07:02,567 --> 00:07:04,367 You look so amazing! 187 00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:05,734 That dress is gorgeous! 188 00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:07,167 Oh, thanks, guys. 189 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:10,601 Mm, I... I'm just not a fan of strapless. 190 00:07:18,034 --> 00:07:19,467 I even understood when 191 00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:22,200 Mr. Park from the bodega downstairs was "dead to you." 192 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,634 One coffee, please. 193 00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,068 Oh, but only if you have decaf. 194 00:07:25,068 --> 00:07:26,634 I don't want to be up all night. 195 00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:28,867 Dollar fifty. 196 00:07:30,068 --> 00:07:31,233 Coffee, regular. 197 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,233 Dollar fifty. 198 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,500 Excuse me. 199 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,367 Are you sure mine was decaf? 200 00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:41,867 You just used the same pot. 201 00:07:41,867 --> 00:07:44,568 Oh, I lie to him. Okay? 202 00:07:44,568 --> 00:07:50,501 Oh, okay. 203 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:53,101 You son of a bitch. 204 00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:56,667 That was not decaf! 205 00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,301 (glass breaking) 206 00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:06,167 I supported you 207 00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:09,501 with all of those random people, but this is your father. 208 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:12,401 Okay, can't we at least just give him some turkey? 209 00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:13,867 No. Come on, Lily. 210 00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:16,901 Please, I can't ask the guy to leave on Thanksgiving. 211 00:08:16,901 --> 00:08:18,767 Oh, you don't have to ask. 212 00:08:18,767 --> 00:08:21,434 Just tell him that it's really important that he be here. 213 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,200 And before you know it, he'll be at a board game convention 214 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,801 in Toledo, giving your braces money to some guy 215 00:08:26,801 --> 00:08:28,667 claiming to be Milton Bradley. 216 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,534 He was just out trying to provide for the family. 217 00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:35,600 No. No, that's what my mom did by working two jobs. 218 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,401 Marshall, that man 219 00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:41,834 broke my heart every single day for 20 years. 220 00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:46,534 Well, then we'll just give him some dark meat. 221 00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:48,900 No, seriously, Robin, 222 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,134 you should get the slap. 223 00:08:50,134 --> 00:08:51,733 I mean, you're a great slapper. 224 00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:52,700 In fact, I want 225 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,900 to study slapping under your tutelage. 226 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,867 I want to be your slap-prentice. 227 00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,834 Don't sell yourself short there, Teddy. 228 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:01,201 You're a slapping rock star. 229 00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:03,468 Your name should be Eric Slapton. 230 00:09:03,468 --> 00:09:05,267 Okay, okay, guys, this is torture. 231 00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,434 Just put me in the chair... 232 00:09:06,434 --> 00:09:08,967 Slapping Throne. And get it over with! 233 00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,134 Ok, he's all yours. No-no-no-no. It's you, I insist. 234 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,968 Okay, I'll do it. Great. 235 00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:13,601 Wait, what? 236 00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:15,601 I'm just saying, I'll slap him. 237 00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:17,001 What, so that's just, like, 238 00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:18,200 the end of the discussion? 239 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,068 Well, you said I could slap him. 240 00:09:20,568 --> 00:09:23,900 Uh, I was just being nice. 241 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,967 If anyone's gonna slap him, it's gonna be me. 242 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,900 No, it's not. 243 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,167 This is interesting. 244 00:09:34,967 --> 00:09:37,034 Lily, he's family, okay? 245 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,733 And I'm sorry, but you just don't cut off family. 246 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:42,134 Oh, well, that's easy for you to say when you come 247 00:09:42,134 --> 00:09:45,633 from the most ridiculously close family in the world. 248 00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:47,401 We are not ridiculously close. 249 00:09:47,401 --> 00:09:48,800 Really? Yeah. 250 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,267 What about the Eriksen Family Dinner every single Sunday? 251 00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:53,568 Everything looks delicious, Mother Eriksen. 252 00:09:53,568 --> 00:09:55,434 Thank you, Papa Bear. 253 00:09:56,434 --> 00:09:59,800 Marshall, would you like to say grace? 254 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,167 (on monitor): Well, I would be 255 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,568 happy to, Mother. 256 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:06,201 Everyone, please join hands. 257 00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,900 Dear Lord... 258 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,834 I'm sorry, but that's weird. 259 00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,867 A family should be that close. 260 00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,967 And I want our future family to be that close. 261 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,101 And that includes your dad. 262 00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:21,134 I can't believe you're taking his side. 263 00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:22,334 Lily... Let me 264 00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:25,434 be clear on this: that man will never 265 00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:28,568 cross the threshold into this home, ever! 266 00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:31,600 It's just gonna be, like, five more minutes. 267 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,468 Hopefully soon, amigo. 268 00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:36,101 I'm fighting a losing battle with hemorrhoids here. 269 00:10:36,101 --> 00:10:37,967 Oh, that's one of the diseases? 270 00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:40,334 No. 271 00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:46,000 Ted, there is an hour before the sun sets, 272 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,633 at which point, neither one of us gets to slap Barney. 273 00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:50,401 So just let me have it. I'm the one who had 274 00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,134 the idea to call the Port Authority Lost and Found. 275 00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:54,634 Ooh, that's a good point. Rebuttal? 276 00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:56,300 I'm the one who slipped the guy a 20! 277 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,667 Oh, philosophical conundrum. 278 00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:00,133 Idea versus execution. Please discuss at length. 279 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,167 I carried that huge turkey all the way up here. 280 00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:03,568 I paid the cab fare. 281 00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:05,934 Well, you slept with one of my best friends! 282 00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:08,001 What?! You, you said 283 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,667 you were okay with that. Well, I'm not! 284 00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,601 Well, why didn't you say something at the time? 285 00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:13,233 Because I'm still in love with you! 286 00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,634 Do you really want to slap Barney so bad 287 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,901 that you would lie about being in love with me? 288 00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,601 I rely want to slap him, okay? 289 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,100 Yes, your dad has made some mistakes in the past, 290 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,767 but he's a different person now. 291 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,134 He's moved out of your grandparents' house. 292 00:11:30,134 --> 00:11:31,301 He's got a job. 293 00:11:31,301 --> 00:11:33,000 He's paying off his IRS debts. 294 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,367 Wait, how do you know all that? 295 00:11:36,468 --> 00:11:37,800 Like, body language. 296 00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:41,834 Okay, well, yeah, we met for a drink last week. 297 00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,334 I mis her a ton. 298 00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:46,334 Little princess. 299 00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,700 She ever talk about me? 300 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,767 Yeah. Yeah, like, all the time. 301 00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:54,967 Um, she tells this one really sweet story about... 302 00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,400 So never, huh? No, not a word. 303 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,801 But... 304 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,467 it doesn't have to be that way. 305 00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:02,367 We can, we can fix this, right? 306 00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,734 (scoffs) 307 00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:06,634 You know, I always thought it'd get fixed at the wedding. 308 00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:10,300 I even wrote a toast. 309 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,701 But then, no invite. 310 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,300 Hell, I haven't even seen a wedding photo. 311 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,068 MARSHALL: And then, right before my eyes, 312 00:12:19,068 --> 00:12:22,400 your father broke down crying. 313 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,701 (sobbing) 314 00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,834 That's it! You're coming to Thanksgiving! 315 00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:30,534 You invited him?! 316 00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,867 The guy was, like, blabbering. 317 00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,900 What was I going to do? And then, some jerk 318 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,600 at the next table called him a sissy, 319 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,501 which I thought was totally uncalled-for. 320 00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:39,600 I can't believe you. 321 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,800 Marshall, what gives you the right to do that? 322 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,034 You and I are married. 323 00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:45,167 And that means he's my family, too. 324 00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:54,368 Mickey, come on in. 325 00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:08,201 (timer ticking) Ted, you better roll quickly. 326 00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:10,034 Your gall bladder's about to burst. 327 00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:11,900 You know, Mickey, it's been, like, half an hour. 328 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,434 I think we should go look for Lily. 329 00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:14,968 Eh, she just needs some time to cool down. 330 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:15,801 Let's finish the game. 331 00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:16,868 Yeah, play another round. 332 00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,267 Best of seven! 333 00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:19,367 Damn it, Robin! 334 00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:20,701 I've known Barney the longest. 335 00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:22,034 I get to slap him. 336 00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,167 That slap is mine, Mosby. 337 00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,934 I've never slapped Barney... 338 00:13:25,934 --> 00:13:27,634 above the waist. 339 00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,434 Look, I've wanted to slap Barney since the moment 340 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,968 I met him! You don't think that I want 341 00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:33,133 to slap Barney? I've waited... Wait, wait a minute. Wait a mute! 342 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:35,968 This slap was supposed to be a wonderful thing, a gift, 343 00:13:36,468 --> 00:13:39,800 and look, it's turned us against each other. 344 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,501 My God, you're right. 345 00:13:42,501 --> 00:13:47,034 This once pure fruit has turned into a poison slapple. 346 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,468 You know what? Seriously, you take it. 347 00:13:49,468 --> 00:13:50,600 Are you sure? 348 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,367 Slapsolutely. 349 00:13:53,134 --> 00:13:54,234 I really think 350 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,633 that we should go look for Lily. 351 00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:59,568 Ted? Gall bladder about to pop. 352 00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:00,700 Okay, it's decided. 353 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,767 Barney, come on. Get in the Throne. Hmm? 354 00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,600 Are you... Yep. Come on. 355 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,034 Well, you, um... 356 00:14:06,034 --> 00:14:07,900 Uh, well, I guess that is 357 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,900 the best decision, Robin. I mean... 358 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,501 men are stronger than women. 359 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:13,733 D-Don't listen to him. 360 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,501 Okay, it's been decided. Okay. 361 00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:17,667 And that's what you've always wanted, isn't it, Robin? 362 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,633 A strong man to take care of you? 363 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:23,800 I mean, sure. Growing up, you were a scrapper, 364 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,600 Playing hockey with the boys, 365 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,867 skinning your knees on the ice. 366 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,334 But what you couldn't tell your teammates-- 367 00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:33,167 what you couldn't even tell yourself-- 368 00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:35,200 was that all you really wanted 369 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,767 was that pretty white dress 370 00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:40,934 in that pretty white chapel. 371 00:14:40,935 --> 00:14:43,935 And at the end of the centre aisle, 372 00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:47,035 strewn with pretty white flowers, 373 00:14:47,035 --> 00:14:48,935 a man 374 00:14:48,935 --> 00:14:51,202 to do all your slapping for you. 375 00:14:51,202 --> 00:14:52,701 Let me at him! Robin! Come on! 376 00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:53,634 Hold on! (dings) 377 00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:55,268 Oh! 378 00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,268 Oh, my God. 379 00:14:57,268 --> 00:14:58,235 What just happened? 380 00:14:58,235 --> 00:15:00,701 Sorry, Ted. Gallbladder burst. 381 00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:02,768 You move back three spaces. 382 00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:05,002 You come in here, 383 00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:07,902 and you watch your daughter leave and you don't even care. 384 00:15:07,902 --> 00:15:10,668 And now you've destroyed Thanksgiving dinner! 385 00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:12,602 Lily-Lily worked all day on this! 386 00:15:12,602 --> 00:15:14,535 Relax. It's not real bile. 387 00:15:14,535 --> 00:15:17,134 It's just lead-based paint from China. 388 00:15:17,134 --> 00:15:19,234 And horse bile. 389 00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:21,735 And at that moment, Marshall gave Mickey a look 390 00:15:21,735 --> 00:15:25,335 none of us has ever seen him give anyone. 391 00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:26,635 What's this? What's he doing? 392 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,368 Did you swallow some of that paint? 393 00:15:28,368 --> 00:15:30,468 This is my "you're dead to me" look. 394 00:15:30,468 --> 00:15:32,602 Oh. Oh. Okay. 395 00:15:32,602 --> 00:15:34,335 Yeah, you know, Lily's is so much better... 396 00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:36,201 Get out of my house! 397 00:15:39,935 --> 00:15:41,502 Hey. 398 00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,068 Mr. Park's, huh? 399 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,601 This is the last place I expected to find you. 400 00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:47,202 Marshall… Lily, I'm sorry. 401 00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:49,668 But just hear me out. 402 00:15:49,668 --> 00:15:52,668 I used to think that family was-was a right. 403 00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:56,435 But it's not. It's a privilege, and it has to be earned. 404 00:15:56,435 --> 00:15:57,701 I kicked your dad out. 405 00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:58,901 And I promise, 406 00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:02,202 baby, I will... I will never make you see him again. 407 00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:03,701 Oh, what? 408 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,168 Baby, what-what happened? 409 00:16:05,168 --> 00:16:07,935 (tearfully): Marshall, I came in here because it was cold 410 00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:10,569 and this was the only place that was open. 411 00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:13,634 I wasn't even gonna look Mr. Park in the eye. 412 00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:16,001 And then I found out... 413 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,701 Mr. Park died. 414 00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:20,734 Oh, my God. 415 00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:22,768 He really is dead to me. 416 00:16:23,435 --> 00:16:25,001 And if I feel this bad 417 00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,901 about never making up with Mr. Park, 418 00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:31,202 a guy who meant literally nothing to me… 419 00:16:31,202 --> 00:16:34,801 (sobbing) 420 00:16:34,801 --> 00:16:37,102 We got to go get my dad. 421 00:16:37,102 --> 00:16:38,435 Okay. 422 00:16:38,435 --> 00:16:40,402 NARRATOR: So that's how 423 00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:42,335 on Thanksgiving 2009, 424 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,801 your Aunt Lily performed a miracle. 425 00:16:44,801 --> 00:16:47,734 She brought a man back from the dead. 426 00:16:47,734 --> 00:16:50,268 Everyone. 427 00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:52,035 Before we get started, Barney, 428 00:16:52,035 --> 00:16:55,135 We’re going to need you on The Slapping Throne. 429 00:16:56,135 --> 00:16:58,135 Slap Bet Commissioner, 430 00:16:58,135 --> 00:17:00,202 surely tying me to a chair is a breach... 431 00:17:00,202 --> 00:17:02,035 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less yappin', more slappin'. 432 00:17:02,035 --> 00:17:03,202 (groans) 433 00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:05,368 Ted, Robin. It's two minutes until sundown. 434 00:17:05,368 --> 00:17:07,035 Have you guys decided which one of you 435 00:17:07,035 --> 00:17:10,068 is going to get to slap Barney right in his face? 436 00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:12,801 It's gonna be Ted. 437 00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:14,601 What? Why me? 438 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:18,234 Last year, you got left at the altar. 439 00:17:18,234 --> 00:17:19,935 You lost your job. 440 00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:22,535 But you've come such a long way since then. 441 00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,802 I'm so proud of you, Ted. 442 00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:29,902 You deserve to slap someone in his face as hard as you can. 443 00:17:30,802 --> 00:17:31,702 Thanks. 444 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,368 This is the worst. 445 00:17:34,501 --> 00:17:36,635 (clears throat) 446 00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:39,635 (breathing deeply) 447 00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:41,401 Mama! 448 00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:44,168 No, Robin. Look... 449 00:17:44,168 --> 00:17:45,935 You just went through your own breakup, and... 450 00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:48,569 while I know you and Barney left it on good terms, 451 00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:50,569 isn't there some part of you, 452 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,368 deep down, that wants to slap him 453 00:17:53,368 --> 00:17:54,701 right in his face? 454 00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,202 There is. 455 00:17:56,202 --> 00:17:57,302 I know there is. 456 00:17:57,302 --> 00:17:59,268 This is basically hell on Earth. 457 00:18:02,535 --> 00:18:04,135 Oh... All right. 458 00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:05,835 (humming, grunting) Oh... 459 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,202 TED: You got this. 460 00:18:08,302 --> 00:18:09,569 It hurts! 461 00:18:09,569 --> 00:18:11,868 No. I can't do it. 462 00:18:11,868 --> 00:18:13,601 I can't take this from you, Ted. 463 00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:15,001 Nor I, you. 464 00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:16,268 Oh, thank God. 465 00:18:16,268 --> 00:18:17,901 So, I'd like to make a gesture. 466 00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:20,368 Mickey? 467 00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:22,102 Oh, no way! 468 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,801 I'm glad you and Lily are trying to work things out. 469 00:18:25,202 --> 00:18:27,668 So, to welcome you to our little family, 470 00:18:28,168 --> 00:18:30,668 I'd like to offer you this slap. 471 00:18:30,668 --> 00:18:31,635 Really? 472 00:18:33,168 --> 00:18:35,668 Well, I feel a little weird… 473 00:18:35,668 --> 00:18:39,635 I-I just met Barney, 474 00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,335 But how often do you get a chance 475 00:18:41,335 --> 00:18:43,969 to slap someone right in his face? 476 00:18:44,868 --> 00:18:47,501 (groaning) 477 00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:51,134 Soft! 478 00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:53,602 I'm sorry. I can't do it. 479 00:18:54,102 --> 00:18:55,335 Oh, thank God. 480 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,502 Lily… 481 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,535 I know I haven't been much of a father to you. 482 00:18:59,535 --> 00:19:01,235 You are kidding me. 483 00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:04,735 So for all the ballet recitals that I missed 484 00:19:04,735 --> 00:19:08,069 for all the art shows that I should've been at... 485 00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:10,101 ...for the wedding gift 486 00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:13,002 that I never got a chance to give to you... 487 00:19:13,002 --> 00:19:14,802 Princess... 488 00:19:14,802 --> 00:19:17,902 I give this slap to you. 489 00:19:17,902 --> 00:19:19,702 Oh, Daddy! 490 00:19:19,702 --> 00:19:20,868 No. 491 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,101 No, no, no, no. 492 00:19:22,101 --> 00:19:23,468 She is the Slap Bet Commissioner. 493 00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:25,234 She's supposed to remain impartial! 494 00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:28,702 Slap Bet Commissioner says it's okay. 495 00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:30,902 This is not good. 496 00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:32,069 Okay. 497 00:19:32,069 --> 00:19:33,134 Please, please, please. Let me... 498 00:19:33,134 --> 00:19:34,335 Shh, shh, shh. Let me... 499 00:19:34,335 --> 00:19:37,134 Just close your eyes. It'll be over soon. 500 00:19:38,735 --> 00:19:40,401 Running through a meadow. 501 00:19:40,901 --> 00:19:42,569 I can't do it. 502 00:19:42,569 --> 00:19:44,502 Why can't I do it? 503 00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:47,168 Because this slap 504 00:19:47,168 --> 00:19:49,535 has done exactly what I hoped. 505 00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:51,302 It's brought us all closer together. 506 00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:53,701 And it's caused us to recognize 507 00:19:53,701 --> 00:19:55,035 both the frailty 508 00:19:55,035 --> 00:19:58,535 and the greatness in ourselves 509 00:19:58,535 --> 00:19:59,901 and each other. 510 00:19:59,901 --> 00:20:01,569 Oh, give me a break. 511 00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:04,968 And that is why... 512 00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:09,102 there will be no slap today. 513 00:20:09,102 --> 00:20:10,968 (gasps) 514 00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:12,701 Oh, my God! 515 00:20:13,201 --> 00:20:16,802 This is the best Thanksgiving... 516 00:20:16,802 --> 00:20:18,668 That's four! 517 00:20:19,169 --> 00:20:20,169 So, turkey? 518 00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:26,201 New from Aldrin Games Unlimited, it's... 519 00:20:26,201 --> 00:20:27,568 Slap Bet! 520 00:20:27,568 --> 00:20:32,134 The slap-happy game that's a real hit. 521 00:20:33,168 --> 00:20:35,702 * You just got slapped 522 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,702 * Across the face, my friend... * 523 00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:39,268 For kids of all ages. 524 00:20:39,268 --> 00:20:40,602 * You just got slapped 525 00:20:40,602 --> 00:20:43,069 * Oh, that really just happened... * 526 00:20:43,069 --> 00:20:44,069 (slapping) 527 00:20:44,069 --> 00:20:46,668 * Oh, everybody saw it, h 528 00:20:46,668 --> 00:20:49,035 * Everybody laughed and clapped * 529 00:20:49,035 --> 00:20:50,468 * 'Cause it was awesome... * 530 00:20:50,468 --> 00:20:51,602 I win! 531 00:20:51,602 --> 00:20:53,568 * The way that you just got slapped. * 532 00:20:53,568 --> 00:20:55,468 Slap yourself silly with Slap Bet, 533 00:20:55,468 --> 00:20:57,234 the happy hitting game from Aldrin. 534 00:20:59,535 --> 00:21:15,435 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net