1
00:00:00,361 --> 00:00:03,989
Hey, what do you guys think
of my new ducky tie?
2
00:00:03,990 --> 00:00:05,206
Pretty cute, right?
3
00:00:05,208 --> 00:00:07,859
And not that much more expensive
than a regular tie.
4
00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:09,093
Hmm.
5
00:00:09,095 --> 00:00:10,028
A ducky tie?
6
00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:11,662
Bro, why do you
do this
7
00:00:11,664 --> 00:00:14,165
when you know I must
slam you for it?
8
00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:16,117
You guys might
want to look away
9
00:00:16,119 --> 00:00:18,152
'cause this ain't
gonna be pretty.
10
00:00:18,971 --> 00:00:20,388
You ready?
11
00:00:20,390 --> 00:00:23,524
Duck, duck... gross.
12
00:00:24,143 --> 00:00:25,476
Hashtag burn,
13
00:00:25,478 --> 00:00:27,178
hashtag duck tie slam,
14
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:29,030
hashtag Stinson rocks.
15
00:00:29,032 --> 00:00:30,314
What else is going on?
16
00:00:30,316 --> 00:00:32,867
Oh, guess who
I ran into.
17
00:00:32,869 --> 00:00:34,819
A girl from my past.
18
00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:35,987
Any guesses?
19
00:00:35,989 --> 00:00:37,155
- Stella.
- Zoe.
20
00:00:37,157 --> 00:00:38,790
- Karen?
- The girl who beat you up.
21
00:00:38,792 --> 00:00:40,191
The girl who ruined
a photo with Slash!
22
00:00:40,193 --> 00:00:41,592
The girl who made you get
the butterfly tattoo?
23
00:00:41,594 --> 00:00:43,244
You make it sound
like I've dated
24
00:00:43,246 --> 00:00:45,046
a series of Stieg Larrson
novels.
25
00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:46,948
Perhaps I need to be
a little more specific.
26
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,333
I met this girl at a wedding.
27
00:00:49,335 --> 00:00:52,804
We were together for a while,
but then she moved to Germany.
28
00:00:52,806 --> 00:00:56,257
We decided to try long
distance, but it didn't work
29
00:00:56,259 --> 00:00:59,894
because I cheated on her with
someone at this very table.
30
00:00:59,896 --> 00:01:01,095
Victoria.
31
00:01:01,097 --> 00:01:02,680
Victoria!
32
00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:05,516
She catered dessert
for the Architects' Ball.
33
00:01:05,518 --> 00:01:08,236
Wow. I mean, what's it been,
like, what, six years?
34
00:01:08,238 --> 00:01:10,905
Yeah, it's so funny how
the past...
35
00:01:10,907 --> 00:01:12,556
you know, you think
36
00:01:12,558 --> 00:01:14,158
you're doing fine,
but you know,
37
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,110
because true love...
God, Lily!
38
00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:18,496
What on Earth is going on
with your cans?
39
00:01:18,498 --> 00:01:19,897
Oh, these old things?
40
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:22,900
I got my
pregnancy boobs!
41
00:01:22,902 --> 00:01:24,068
I'm in that sweet spot
42
00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:25,787
where the chestal area
knows I'm pregnant,
43
00:01:25,789 --> 00:01:28,039
but hasn't told the
downstairs neighbors.
44
00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:29,674
Well, what are you
waiting for, Lil?
45
00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:31,742
Bust 'em out!
Make 'em dance!
46
00:01:31,744 --> 00:01:32,510
No!
47
00:01:32,512 --> 00:01:36,097
♪ Let your boobies show! ♪
48
00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,783
Okay, I'm sorry, pal,
49
00:01:38,785 --> 00:01:41,385
but the party in my wife's
sweater is a private event,
50
00:01:41,387 --> 00:01:42,386
and I'm the bouncer.
51
00:01:42,388 --> 00:01:44,222
Dude, I think they's
the bouncers.
52
00:01:44,224 --> 00:01:48,425
Okay, can we stop talking about
my wife's breasts, please?
53
00:01:48,427 --> 00:01:49,927
Ted ran into Victoria!
54
00:01:49,929 --> 00:01:51,779
I know, I'm still
a little shaken by it.
55
00:01:51,781 --> 00:01:54,115
I mean, there she was
after all these years.
56
00:01:54,117 --> 00:01:56,600
The emotions and memories and...
57
00:01:56,602 --> 00:01:59,654
Geez, Lily, it's like you have
a butt on your chest.
58
00:02:00,606 --> 00:02:01,656
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
59
00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:05,681
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x03 ♪
Ducky Tie
Original Air Date on September 26, 2011
60
00:02:05,682 --> 00:02:09,682
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
61
00:02:09,707 --> 00:02:14,004
♪
62
00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:20,275
Why on Earth would
I want to see that?
63
00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,143
They're round
and attached to my body.
64
00:02:22,145 --> 00:02:23,527
It's an even trade.
65
00:02:23,529 --> 00:02:25,646
Okay, who wants dinner?
66
00:02:25,648 --> 00:02:27,531
Bless you.
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
67
00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:28,950
Aw, again? Really?
68
00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:30,818
You bring that up,
like, once a month.
69
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,703
It's hibachi grilling
with a vaudeville twist.
70
00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:33,938
I mean, come on, who's in?
71
00:02:34,974 --> 00:02:37,074
No! Forget it!
72
00:02:37,076 --> 00:02:38,459
Okay, how about this:
73
00:02:38,461 --> 00:02:40,962
if you can go ten seconds
without looking at Lily's boobs,
74
00:02:40,964 --> 00:02:42,880
we'll go wherever
you want to go.
75
00:02:42,882 --> 00:02:46,167
Deal.
76
00:02:51,189 --> 00:02:52,189
Damn it!
77
00:02:52,191 --> 00:02:54,058
Oh, well.
78
00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:57,178
So you saw Victoria.
79
00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:58,929
You must have
been freaked.
80
00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:01,232
No, it was cool.
81
00:03:02,884 --> 00:03:04,518
Hey, Ted.
82
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,038
Hey, kiddo.
83
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,941
Okay, Ted, 'cause from
where I was standing...
84
00:03:24,923 --> 00:03:26,757
Robin! Just... okay?
85
00:03:26,759 --> 00:03:29,593
I'm telling this story.
86
00:03:29,595 --> 00:03:33,014
Instead of the obligatory
awkward small talk,
87
00:03:33,016 --> 00:03:34,765
let me just kick this off
88
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:39,053
by saying I'm
really, really sorry.
89
00:03:39,055 --> 00:03:44,091
Thanks. It's unnecessary,
but thanks.
90
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:46,694
So, wasn't awkward.
91
00:03:46,696 --> 00:03:48,312
- It was a little awkward.
- Not really.
92
00:03:48,314 --> 00:03:50,448
It was a little awkward.
93
00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:53,934
Lucky for you, the cavalry rode
in to smooth things over.
94
00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:57,321
So, uh...
95
00:03:57,323 --> 00:03:59,623
I stole your boyfriend!
96
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:02,126
That was, like, crazy!
97
00:04:02,128 --> 00:04:03,294
Like, what?!
98
00:04:03,296 --> 00:04:07,248
But... bridge, water under it.
99
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,417
It was all Ted's fault.
He got me drunk.
100
00:04:09,419 --> 00:04:11,585
What?
Yeah! Be right there.
101
00:04:12,454 --> 00:04:16,006
Oh, guess who's here? Robin.
102
00:04:16,008 --> 00:04:19,060
Oh. I'm really happy
for you guys.
103
00:04:19,062 --> 00:04:20,177
You look cute together.
104
00:04:20,179 --> 00:04:21,962
Oh, no, no, we're not together.
105
00:04:21,964 --> 00:04:24,098
I mean, we-we dated
for, like, a year.
106
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,649
But now we're just friends.
107
00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:27,151
It's not weird.
108
00:04:27,153 --> 00:04:28,986
No, no. Why would that be weird?
109
00:04:28,988 --> 00:04:31,272
I mean, if you hung out
every day, that would...
110
00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:32,473
We do.
111
00:04:32,475 --> 00:04:34,024
...still not be weird.
112
00:04:34,026 --> 00:04:35,142
I've never
known anybody
113
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,660
that hangs out with their ex
every day.
114
00:04:36,662 --> 00:04:37,811
Well, Barney does.
115
00:04:37,813 --> 00:04:39,830
Really?
Who's Barney's ex-girlfriend?
116
00:04:39,832 --> 00:04:40,781
Robin.
117
00:04:40,783 --> 00:04:42,149
Your Robin?
118
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,034
Mine and Barney's.
119
00:04:44,036 --> 00:04:47,004
You don't all three hang out
together?
120
00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:47,872
All the time.
121
00:04:47,874 --> 00:04:50,641
And we have weird.
122
00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:52,042
It's not weird!
123
00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:54,378
Has anyone gotten
a bite yet?
124
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,963
Oh, good!
Here we go!
125
00:04:55,965 --> 00:04:57,331
The main event.
126
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,049
Oh, we got Takumi.
He is good!
127
00:04:59,051 --> 00:05:00,384
I mean, who am
I kidding?
128
00:05:00,386 --> 00:05:01,385
They're all amazing!
129
00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:02,853
Let the dinnertainment begin!
130
00:05:04,773 --> 00:05:06,607
Oh, that reminds me,
131
00:05:06,609 --> 00:05:09,193
there's this other restaurant
we should try sometime.
132
00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:12,513
What they do is, they cook
your meal in a little room
133
00:05:12,515 --> 00:05:13,680
called a "kitchen."
134
00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:15,032
What's the name of that...?
135
00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:18,285
Oh, yeah! "Every Other
Restaurant In New York City."
136
00:05:18,287 --> 00:05:21,989
Hashtag burn, hashtag
Your Tie Is Still Dumb,
137
00:05:21,991 --> 00:05:24,508
hashtag refill!
138
00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:28,012
So you're talking to Victoria.
139
00:05:28,014 --> 00:05:29,797
I'm talking to Victoria.
140
00:05:29,799 --> 00:05:32,199
Well, I should probably
get back to the bakery.
141
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,552
I'm taking a late bus out
to the Hamptons tonight,
142
00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:36,253
and I've got a sink full
of dishes
143
00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:38,339
that my assistant did not clean.
144
00:05:38,341 --> 00:05:40,707
Because my assistant is me.
145
00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:43,544
But it was really good seeing
you, Ted.
146
00:05:43,546 --> 00:05:45,712
- Yeah, you, too.
- Okay.
147
00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:48,732
Wait.
148
00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:50,651
Let me do the dishes.
149
00:05:50,653 --> 00:05:51,552
What?
150
00:05:51,554 --> 00:05:54,188
Victoria,
do you believe in fate?
151
00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:56,724
I believe you're about
to give a big speech on fate.
152
00:05:56,726 --> 00:05:57,992
Well, I do.
153
00:05:57,994 --> 00:06:01,111
And I think when two people like
you and me randomly bump
154
00:06:01,113 --> 00:06:03,063
into each other,
it means something.
155
00:06:03,065 --> 00:06:05,583
I have to make amends
for what I did.
156
00:06:05,585 --> 00:06:08,402
Look, I can't undo what I did
six years ago, but...
157
00:06:08,404 --> 00:06:11,705
I can wash dishes.
158
00:06:11,707 --> 00:06:13,574
It's actually something
I'm good at.
159
00:06:13,576 --> 00:06:15,042
Ted...
160
00:06:15,044 --> 00:06:18,412
I swear to you
I am not trying anything.
161
00:06:18,414 --> 00:06:20,297
♪ I said, bang, bang,
bangity-bang ♪
162
00:06:20,299 --> 00:06:22,082
♪ I said a bang, bang,
bangity-bang. ♪
163
00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:25,019
Guys, guys! Shut up!
164
00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:27,221
Give the artist
a little respect!
165
00:06:27,223 --> 00:06:29,807
Sir, I apologize for that,
166
00:06:29,809 --> 00:06:32,226
and for what
I'm about to say.
167
00:06:32,228 --> 00:06:34,562
Here's my impression
of this guy.
168
00:06:34,564 --> 00:06:35,980
Uh! Ooh!
169
00:06:35,982 --> 00:06:37,698
Uh! Uh!
170
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:40,568
Welcome to Shinjitsu! Uh!
171
00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:44,321
I used to be a night manager
at Dairy Queen! Brr!
172
00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:45,606
Anyone can do that.
173
00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,458
Oh really? Then why
don't you do it, Barney?
174
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:50,160
Show us all the tricks
if they're so easy.
175
00:06:50,162 --> 00:06:51,712
Show us the onion volcano,
176
00:06:51,714 --> 00:06:53,130
the fried rice
beating heart,
177
00:06:53,132 --> 00:06:54,582
the shrimp in the pocket.
178
00:06:54,584 --> 00:06:58,669
I bet Ted showed Victoria
the shrimp in his pocket.
179
00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:00,004
Shrimp? Really?
180
00:07:00,006 --> 00:07:01,572
Okay, I'll do all
181
00:07:01,574 --> 00:07:03,624
those things. You just name
the time and the place.
182
00:07:03,626 --> 00:07:05,509
Okay, right here
after we eat.
183
00:07:05,511 --> 00:07:06,627
And what do I get if I do?
184
00:07:06,629 --> 00:07:07,595
What do you want?
185
00:07:07,597 --> 00:07:08,479
I want to touch Lily's boobs.
186
00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:09,847
Deal!
187
00:07:09,849 --> 00:07:10,797
Hey, sweetie?
188
00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:12,416
Yeah, I heard.
189
00:07:13,318 --> 00:07:16,570
Okay, Barney, you want
to make this real?
190
00:07:16,572 --> 00:07:17,988
Let's make this real.
191
00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:20,908
If you can do
all that stuff
192
00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,192
that Marshall just listed off,
193
00:07:22,194 --> 00:07:23,977
I will let
you touch one boob.
194
00:07:23,979 --> 00:07:24,811
Both boobs.
195
00:07:24,813 --> 00:07:25,646
Just one.
196
00:07:25,648 --> 00:07:26,447
Touch and squeeze.
197
00:07:26,449 --> 00:07:27,114
Just touch.
198
00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:28,082
Touch and motorboat.
199
00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:28,782
Just touch.
200
00:07:28,784 --> 00:07:29,700
- Honka honka?
- Barney.
201
00:07:29,702 --> 00:07:30,834
Just touch.
Just touch.
202
00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:32,503
For one hour.
For one second.
203
00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:33,820
20 minutes, both boobs.
204
00:07:33,822 --> 00:07:35,172
Thirty seconds, one boob.
205
00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,541
Four minutes, both boobs,
three squeezes.
206
00:07:37,543 --> 00:07:39,656
One minute, both boobs,
one squeeze.
207
00:07:39,657 --> 00:07:40,441
Deal!
208
00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:43,664
But... if you can't do
everything
209
00:07:43,666 --> 00:07:45,099
and I mean everything,
210
00:07:45,101 --> 00:07:49,436
then you have to wear
Marshall's ducky tie...
211
00:07:49,438 --> 00:07:51,071
for one year.
212
00:07:51,073 --> 00:07:53,824
Ooh...
213
00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:55,993
Deal.
214
00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:02,516
So you get to the bakery.
215
00:08:02,518 --> 00:08:04,401
We get to the bakery.
216
00:08:04,403 --> 00:08:06,487
Well, this is great.
217
00:08:06,489 --> 00:08:08,155
You know what else
is getting clean
218
00:08:08,157 --> 00:08:09,540
along with this
cupcake tray?
219
00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,191
My conscience.
220
00:08:11,193 --> 00:08:13,377
You got anything else
you need to atone for?
221
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:14,695
My oven needs cleaning.
222
00:08:14,697 --> 00:08:17,414
Un, no, nothing else.
223
00:08:18,366 --> 00:08:20,017
Not yet anyway.
224
00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:24,421
♪ Bang, bang, bangity-bang,
said a bang-bang-bangity. ♪
225
00:08:24,423 --> 00:08:26,273
I'm getting married.
226
00:08:29,194 --> 00:08:30,694
Bang.
227
00:08:36,447 --> 00:08:38,545
Baby, I think I got yours.
This one has no booze.
228
00:08:38,546 --> 00:08:39,411
Oh, no, that's mine.
229
00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:40,713
Yeah, I don't know
230
00:08:40,715 --> 00:08:43,031
why people think
that Mai Tais need booze.
231
00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,383
I've been drinking virgins
all night,
232
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:45,384
and they're delicious.
233
00:08:45,386 --> 00:08:47,386
Yeah, well, enjoy
your Mai Tai
234
00:08:47,388 --> 00:08:52,224
because as of tomorrow night,
you'll be wearing my tie.
235
00:08:52,226 --> 00:08:54,126
Our future child
is so lucky.
236
00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,845
Wait. You're not drunk?
237
00:08:56,847 --> 00:09:00,933
Huh. I guess not.
238
00:09:00,935 --> 00:09:02,351
It's a hustle!
239
00:09:02,353 --> 00:09:03,435
We gettin' hustled!
240
00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,354
Oh, this stinks.
241
00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:06,855
This stinks to holy hell!
242
00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:08,574
He's gonna win the bet!
243
00:09:08,576 --> 00:09:11,827
Baby, come on. Even if he was
sober as a nun,
244
00:09:11,829 --> 00:09:14,062
there's no way he could do what
these guys do.
245
00:09:14,064 --> 00:09:18,400
Exactly. I mean, to learn
the trademark secrets
246
00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:19,535
of Shinjitsu hibachi cooking,
247
00:09:19,537 --> 00:09:22,571
one would have to go
all the way...
248
00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:24,740
to Hoboken, New Jersey.
249
00:09:24,742 --> 00:09:27,743
Yeah, they have a school there.
250
00:09:27,745 --> 00:09:29,878
It's a six-month course.
They teach you everything.
251
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:30,963
How do you know that?
252
00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:33,432
Maybe I looked it up
on my phone just now.
253
00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:37,136
Then again, maybe not.
254
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,943
So Victoria's getting married.
255
00:09:44,945 --> 00:09:46,595
She's getting married.
256
00:09:46,597 --> 00:09:49,765
I'm sorry. I should have
told you that way earlier.
257
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,116
No, no, it's fine.
258
00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:52,985
You thought something
was gonna happen.
259
00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:54,536
Like one percent.
260
00:09:54,538 --> 00:09:56,538
Maybe slap on a ring next time.
261
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,607
Well, the problem is,
he hasn't asked me yet.
262
00:09:58,609 --> 00:10:01,276
I found the ring in a box
in his sock drawer.
263
00:10:01,278 --> 00:10:04,713
Wow! Guy's got a whole drawer
just for socks?
264
00:10:04,715 --> 00:10:06,298
Must be nice.
265
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:09,918
So when's Money Bags
popping the question?
266
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,220
I'm pretty sure tomorrow.
267
00:10:11,222 --> 00:10:12,387
He's taking me out
268
00:10:12,389 --> 00:10:14,956
to a really nice restaurant out
in the Hamptons.
269
00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,809
It's right on the water,
270
00:10:16,811 --> 00:10:21,630
so afterwards we'll take a walk
on the beach in the moonlight.
271
00:10:21,632 --> 00:10:23,465
You should probably go.
272
00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:25,534
I don't know.
It sounds pretty intimate.
273
00:10:27,687 --> 00:10:29,971
I'm serious. I feel
like I misled you.
274
00:10:29,973 --> 00:10:34,309
Madam, I came here
to wash your dishes.
275
00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:35,611
Nothing more.
276
00:10:36,579 --> 00:10:38,313
- Whoa! What was that!?
- What was what?
277
00:10:38,315 --> 00:10:40,999
This guy and Barney
just shared a look!
278
00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,284
Do you know him?
279
00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:48,040
They did it again!
280
00:10:48,042 --> 00:10:50,042
This whole thing stinks,
I tells ya!
281
00:10:50,044 --> 00:10:51,493
It stinks!
282
00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:55,681
Lily, are you really suggesting
that Barney spent six months
283
00:10:55,683 --> 00:10:58,100
commuting back and forth
to Hoboken
284
00:10:58,102 --> 00:11:00,586
to learn a signature cooking
style of a restaurant
285
00:11:00,588 --> 00:11:03,155
he doesn't even like
so he could win a bet
286
00:11:03,157 --> 00:11:04,857
he hadn't even made yet?
287
00:11:04,859 --> 00:11:06,859
Yeah, the whole thing stinks.
288
00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:09,111
No, it's not possible, okay?
289
00:11:09,113 --> 00:11:11,179
I was the one who said
let's go to Shinjitsu...
290
00:11:11,181 --> 00:11:12,781
Bless you.
291
00:11:12,783 --> 00:11:14,950
How could Barney have...
292
00:11:19,873 --> 00:11:21,824
You brilliant bastard.
293
00:11:21,826 --> 00:11:23,542
It's all so obvious now.
294
00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:25,794
For the past, oh, I don't
know how long, five years,
295
00:11:25,796 --> 00:11:27,830
every time I've said,
"Let's go to Shinjitsu""
296
00:11:27,832 --> 00:11:28,914
Bless you.
297
00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:32,050
You've sneezed.
298
00:11:32,052 --> 00:11:33,368
Every time.
299
00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:34,953
And little by little...
300
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,588
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
301
00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:38,540
Bless you. Bless you.
302
00:11:38,542 --> 00:11:41,710
...you forged the association
in my brain.
303
00:11:41,712 --> 00:11:43,028
So what should we do for dinner?
304
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,546
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
305
00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:45,814
Oh, bless you.
Thanks.
306
00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:47,733
Until eventually...
307
00:11:47,735 --> 00:11:50,185
Yes, I know I said that
we'd be back Sunday,
308
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,987
but guess what?
We are back now!
309
00:11:51,989 --> 00:11:53,054
Now what on earth...
310
00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:54,439
Stop bouncing!
What on earth
311
00:11:54,441 --> 00:11:56,224
would make you think that
we'd be okay with this?
312
00:11:56,226 --> 00:11:59,011
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
313
00:11:59,013 --> 00:12:00,913
When you were sick
for a week last year,
314
00:12:00,915 --> 00:12:03,198
I had Shinjitsu
like six times.
315
00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:05,284
You had the knife skills...
316
00:12:05,902 --> 00:12:07,870
you had the trigger...
317
00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:11,123
All you needed then was
to want something from me.
318
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:15,177
And then one day... those
somethings came a-busting out.
319
00:12:15,179 --> 00:12:17,296
Wapowng!
320
00:12:17,298 --> 00:12:19,298
I am gonna have
to walk this earth,
321
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:22,417
knowing Barney has
touched my boobs.
322
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:24,419
Yeah. It stays with you.
323
00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:27,089
His email reminders don't help.
324
00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,807
Okay, Lily, this is ridiculous.
325
00:12:28,809 --> 00:12:30,559
If you want to
call the bet off...
326
00:12:30,561 --> 00:12:31,777
Great! The bet's off!
327
00:12:31,779 --> 00:12:33,328
Let me finish.
328
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:36,932
If
you let me just see them--
329
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:39,117
no touching, just looking--
for one minute...
330
00:12:39,119 --> 00:12:40,652
30 seconds.
For 30 seconds,
331
00:12:40,654 --> 00:12:42,103
in a well-lit
photography studio...
332
00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:43,906
- In the alley.
- In the alley...
333
00:12:43,908 --> 00:12:45,490
then we'll cancel this
entire wager completely.
334
00:12:45,492 --> 00:12:46,825
Do we have a deal?
335
00:12:48,277 --> 00:12:49,745
I totally think you
should take the deal.
336
00:12:49,747 --> 00:12:51,279
I don't think we have a choice.
337
00:12:51,281 --> 00:12:52,464
Go on, take the deal.
338
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:54,583
I'll... think about it.
339
00:12:57,637 --> 00:12:59,004
So you're doing the dishes...
340
00:12:59,006 --> 00:13:00,339
I'm doing the dishes.
341
00:13:00,341 --> 00:13:02,391
All done.
342
00:13:02,393 --> 00:13:03,675
Congratulations.
343
00:13:03,677 --> 00:13:07,128
Your karmic slate is
clean and lemony fresh.
344
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,130
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
345
00:13:09,132 --> 00:13:11,483
See, now I can start anew,
346
00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:14,353
and hopefully end up as
happy as you and, uh...
347
00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:15,604
Sorry, what's his name?
348
00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:17,656
- Whose name?
- Your fiancé-to-be.
349
00:13:17,658 --> 00:13:19,274
Oh! His name is Klaus.
350
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,393
- Klaus.
- Klaus.
351
00:13:21,395 --> 00:13:22,644
German name.
352
00:13:22,646 --> 00:13:25,380
- Yeah, German guy.
- Hmm.
353
00:13:25,382 --> 00:13:27,866
When you were
living in Germany,
354
00:13:27,868 --> 00:13:30,002
and we were doing the whole
long-distance thing...
355
00:13:30,004 --> 00:13:31,753
wasn't there a Klaus
in your class?
356
00:13:31,755 --> 00:13:33,038
There was a Klaus in my class.
357
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,323
- And you and Klaus were close.
- Not that close.
358
00:13:35,325 --> 00:13:37,592
Yes, yes, you and the Klaus from
your class were quite close.
359
00:13:37,594 --> 00:13:38,677
Kind of close.
360
00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,812
- Was that your Klaus?
- My Klaus?
361
00:13:40,814 --> 00:13:42,114
- In your class.
- In my class?
362
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:44,416
Is your Klaus the kind of
close Klaus from your class?
363
00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:45,851
Yes.
364
00:13:48,021 --> 00:13:50,171
You didn't cheat on me
with Klaus, did you?
365
00:13:50,173 --> 00:13:52,507
- No. No, I did not.
- Mm.
366
00:13:52,509 --> 00:13:53,859
Okay, new question.
367
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:56,061
After we broke up,
how long were you single
368
00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:58,313
before you and Klaus
started dating?
369
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:02,367
Oh, how long... um, well,
we broke up in April, so...
370
00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:04,202
a day and a half.
371
00:14:04,204 --> 00:14:08,573
Oh, you have got
to be kidding me!
372
00:14:08,575 --> 00:14:09,791
I'm sorry.
373
00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:11,960
So I've spent the last
six years feeling like
374
00:14:11,962 --> 00:14:15,697
I completely betrayed you,
when in truth, you...
375
00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:17,883
No, you know what?
376
00:14:21,388 --> 00:14:22,871
Okay. Fine.
377
00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:25,640
Just let yourself off the hook
on a technicality!
378
00:14:25,642 --> 00:14:27,843
Forget the fact that
you did cheat on me!
379
00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:31,596
Forget it? I will
never forget it. Okay?
380
00:14:31,598 --> 00:14:32,981
I will never stop regretting it,
381
00:14:32,983 --> 00:14:34,850
because what we had
meant that much to me!
382
00:14:34,852 --> 00:14:37,218
I just... I wish it had meant
something to you, too.
383
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,553
Are you kidding?
384
00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:40,622
- I loved you!
- Did you?
385
00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:42,107
Yes.
386
00:14:42,109 --> 00:14:47,729
We had such an amazing
time together.
387
00:14:47,731 --> 00:14:48,914
Do you remember that night
388
00:14:48,916 --> 00:14:50,399
we found that crazy
videotape of Barney?
389
00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:52,868
Game night.
390
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:54,536
We played that ridiculous
game Marshall invented.
391
00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:56,071
- Marshgammon.
- Yeah.
392
00:14:56,073 --> 00:14:58,407
We've played it a few times
since. I still don't get it.
393
00:14:58,409 --> 00:14:59,875
Remember the night we met?
394
00:14:59,877 --> 00:15:02,794
I remember you not
letting me kiss you.
395
00:15:02,796 --> 00:15:04,413
Remember why?
396
00:15:04,415 --> 00:15:06,431
You had this ridiculous idea
397
00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:08,350
that the moment leading
up to the kiss...
398
00:15:08,352 --> 00:15:09,301
The drum roll.
399
00:15:09,303 --> 00:15:11,636
...is as good as
the kiss itself.
400
00:15:11,638 --> 00:15:13,221
Isn't it?
401
00:15:13,223 --> 00:15:15,140
Well, it's certainly
more innocent.
402
00:15:15,142 --> 00:15:16,525
It's completely harmless.
403
00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:18,393
Completely.
404
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:33,467
- Oh, my God!
- Oh no.
405
00:15:33,469 --> 00:15:34,986
No, no-no-no-no-no.
406
00:15:34,988 --> 00:15:37,138
- I should not have done that.
- No, that was me.
407
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:40,107
I let you come wash my dishes!
408
00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,776
I said my "oven"
needed "cleaning"!
409
00:15:41,778 --> 00:15:43,844
I invited you into a porno!
410
00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:45,196
No.
411
00:15:45,198 --> 00:15:47,064
You were right. This is fate.
412
00:15:47,066 --> 00:15:49,066
I needed to see
you one more time
413
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:50,902
in order to know
for sure about Klaus.
414
00:15:50,904 --> 00:15:52,703
And...?
415
00:15:52,705 --> 00:15:55,239
And...
416
00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:59,694
I have a bus to catch.
417
00:16:03,899 --> 00:16:05,716
Fine, you can see my boobs!
418
00:16:05,718 --> 00:16:06,717
To the alley!
419
00:16:06,719 --> 00:16:09,337
This seems unfair.
420
00:16:09,339 --> 00:16:11,672
I mean, I get that
I'm the only person
421
00:16:11,674 --> 00:16:13,057
not allowed to see this, but...
422
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,643
it just, it-it seems unfair.
423
00:16:15,645 --> 00:16:17,094
Come on, Lily, hurry up.
424
00:16:17,096 --> 00:16:18,646
Guys...
425
00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:21,766
You know, I'm all for honoring a
bet, but who invited Takumi?
426
00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:24,602
Sorry, bro.
I tried.
427
00:16:29,691 --> 00:16:31,392
What's going on?
What am I missing?
428
00:16:31,394 --> 00:16:33,494
Are they out yet?
What do they look like?
429
00:16:33,496 --> 00:16:34,829
Look, I don't want to know!
430
00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:36,230
Just tell me the kind of coin.
431
00:16:36,232 --> 00:16:39,000
Do you know how long
30 seconds is?
432
00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:42,253
It's going to be five seconds of...
433
00:16:42,255 --> 00:16:44,839
followed by 25 seconds of....
434
00:16:45,757 --> 00:16:48,292
I mean, yes,
seeing Lily's boobs
435
00:16:48,294 --> 00:16:50,795
is all you've ever
wanted, but come on.
436
00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:53,798
All he's ever wanted...
437
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,216
Lily, stop!
438
00:16:55,218 --> 00:16:57,351
Don't you see?
439
00:16:57,353 --> 00:17:00,354
This was his plan all along!
440
00:17:00,356 --> 00:17:03,891
He let us think he knows how
to do all this Shinjitsu stuff,
441
00:17:03,893 --> 00:17:05,926
just so he could
get you out here
442
00:17:05,928 --> 00:17:08,062
whipping out your milk-makers!
443
00:17:08,064 --> 00:17:10,898
You son of a bitch!
444
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,700
The bet is back on!
445
00:17:13,485 --> 00:17:15,769
Nice try, Barney!
446
00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:17,738
Nice try.
447
00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:33,938
Maybe I was wrong.
448
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:36,340
Well, I guess that's everything
you asked me to do, is it not?
449
00:17:36,342 --> 00:17:38,759
Oh, wait! The shrimp
in the pocket.
450
00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:40,011
A modern classic.
451
00:17:40,013 --> 00:17:41,045
And now...
452
00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:43,898
for one minute on second base...
453
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,817
with a firm yet
sensual squeeze...
454
00:17:46,819 --> 00:17:48,452
Nothing can stop him now.
455
00:17:48,454 --> 00:17:50,121
One thing can.
456
00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:51,489
Make that two things.
457
00:18:12,194 --> 00:18:14,178
No!!
458
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:17,682
Yeah!
Yeah!
459
00:18:17,684 --> 00:18:19,550
So you take her to the bus...
460
00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:21,218
I take her to the bus.
461
00:18:22,554 --> 00:18:24,105
Well, this feels familiar.
462
00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:27,308
You leaving, me kind of
wanting to say, "Don't go""
463
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:28,693
Little late for that.
464
00:18:28,695 --> 00:18:30,695
Little bit.
465
00:18:30,697 --> 00:18:32,646
- Don't go.
- Ted...
466
00:18:32,648 --> 00:18:34,398
I'm sorry. I just...
467
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,200
Why didn't I say it then?
468
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,953
Why'd I let you
get on that plane?
469
00:18:38,955 --> 00:18:41,889
Why didn't I get on it with you?
470
00:18:41,891 --> 00:18:45,459
What would our lives be
right now, if we had just...
471
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:47,912
held on?
472
00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:50,364
Would I have still run into
you at this party tonight...
473
00:18:50,366 --> 00:18:52,333
or would we have been
there together?
474
00:18:52,335 --> 00:18:54,502
We'd go home...
475
00:18:54,504 --> 00:18:56,871
to our home?
476
00:18:57,923 --> 00:19:01,425
You cook. I do the dishes.
477
00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:04,145
I'm happy that you're happy.
478
00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:07,231
But damn it.
479
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,482
What if?
480
00:19:08,484 --> 00:19:11,102
Do you really want
to know the answer to that?
481
00:19:11,104 --> 00:19:13,270
No.
482
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:16,223
I think it would kill me.
483
00:19:16,225 --> 00:19:18,892
Good-bye, Ted.
484
00:19:29,204 --> 00:19:32,406
And that was it.
485
00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:35,259
Now she's probably engaged.
486
00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:39,580
Maybe it's for the best.
487
00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:45,436
All right. Well...
488
00:19:45,438 --> 00:19:47,321
We're gonna duck out.
489
00:19:48,757 --> 00:19:51,108
Sorry to leave you
with the bill.
490
00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:55,613
Oh, guys, it's gonna
be a good year.
491
00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,149
I'm glad you guys can laugh,
492
00:19:58,151 --> 00:20:00,151
'cause I think I'm gonna
be physically ill.
493
00:20:00,153 --> 00:20:01,735
Coming down with a mallardy?
494
00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:03,988
Oh, they look hungry.
There you go.
495
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,623
Here you go.
496
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:08,292
Kids, there was
one part I left out.
497
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,294
Good-bye, Ted.
498
00:20:12,447 --> 00:20:15,616
Okay, yes.
What's the answer?
499
00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:23,140
There is a reason that it didn't
work out between you and me,
500
00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:25,092
but it's not Germany.
501
00:20:25,094 --> 00:20:27,711
And I'm willing to bet it's the
same reason none of your other
502
00:20:27,713 --> 00:20:30,130
relationships in the last
six years have lasted either.
503
00:20:30,132 --> 00:20:31,482
It's Robin.
504
00:20:32,634 --> 00:20:33,684
No.
505
00:20:33,686 --> 00:20:35,102
Yes.
506
00:20:35,104 --> 00:20:38,105
She is so much bigger
in your world than you realize.
507
00:20:38,107 --> 00:20:41,659
And this thing that you're all
doing, you and Barney and Robin,
508
00:20:41,661 --> 00:20:44,945
where the three of you hang out
at the bar night in, night out,
509
00:20:44,947 --> 00:20:46,831
like you're all just buddies?
510
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,416
That doesn't work. Trust me.
511
00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:51,418
You-You've got it all wrong.
512
00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:53,137
I'm right about this.
513
00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:56,841
Good-bye, Ted.
514
00:21:00,654 --> 00:21:03,154
And sure enough, she was right.
515
00:21:03,156 --> 00:21:05,573
It didn't work;
we just didn't realize it yet.
516
00:21:05,575 --> 00:21:09,575
== sync, corrected by elderman ==