1 00:00:00,361 --> 00:00:03,989 Hey, what do you guys think of my new ducky tie? 2 00:00:03,990 --> 00:00:05,206 Pretty cute, right? 3 00:00:05,208 --> 00:00:07,859 And not that much more expensive than a regular tie. 4 00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:09,093 Hmm. 5 00:00:09,095 --> 00:00:10,028 A ducky tie? 6 00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:11,662 Bro, why do you do this 7 00:00:11,664 --> 00:00:14,165 when you know I must slam you for it? 8 00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:16,117 You guys might want to look away 9 00:00:16,119 --> 00:00:18,152 'cause this ain't gonna be pretty. 10 00:00:18,971 --> 00:00:20,388 You ready? 11 00:00:20,390 --> 00:00:23,524 Duck, duck... gross. 12 00:00:24,143 --> 00:00:25,476 Hashtag burn, 13 00:00:25,478 --> 00:00:27,178 hashtag duck tie slam, 14 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:29,030 hashtag Stinson rocks. 15 00:00:29,032 --> 00:00:30,314 What else is going on? 16 00:00:30,316 --> 00:00:32,867 Oh, guess who I ran into. 17 00:00:32,869 --> 00:00:34,819 A girl from my past. 18 00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:35,987 Any guesses? 19 00:00:35,989 --> 00:00:37,155 - Stella. - Zoe. 20 00:00:37,157 --> 00:00:38,790 - Karen? - The girl who beat you up. 21 00:00:38,792 --> 00:00:40,191 The girl who ruined a photo with Slash! 22 00:00:40,193 --> 00:00:41,592 The girl who made you get the butterfly tattoo? 23 00:00:41,594 --> 00:00:43,244 You make it sound like I've dated 24 00:00:43,246 --> 00:00:45,046 a series of Stieg Larrson novels. 25 00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:46,948 Perhaps I need to be a little more specific. 26 00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,333 I met this girl at a wedding. 27 00:00:49,335 --> 00:00:52,804 We were together for a while, but then she moved to Germany. 28 00:00:52,806 --> 00:00:56,257 We decided to try long distance, but it didn't work 29 00:00:56,259 --> 00:00:59,894 because I cheated on her with someone at this very table. 30 00:00:59,896 --> 00:01:01,095 Victoria. 31 00:01:01,097 --> 00:01:02,680 Victoria! 32 00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:05,516 She catered dessert for the Architects' Ball. 33 00:01:05,518 --> 00:01:08,236 Wow. I mean, what's it been, like, what, six years? 34 00:01:08,238 --> 00:01:10,905 Yeah, it's so funny how the past... 35 00:01:10,907 --> 00:01:12,556 you know, you think 36 00:01:12,558 --> 00:01:14,158 you're doing fine, but you know, 37 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,110 because true love... God, Lily! 38 00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:18,496 What on Earth is going on with your cans? 39 00:01:18,498 --> 00:01:19,897 Oh, these old things? 40 00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:22,900 I got my pregnancy boobs! 41 00:01:22,902 --> 00:01:24,068 I'm in that sweet spot 42 00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:25,787 where the chestal area knows I'm pregnant, 43 00:01:25,789 --> 00:01:28,039 but hasn't told the downstairs neighbors. 44 00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:29,674 Well, what are you waiting for, Lil? 45 00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:31,742 Bust 'em out! Make 'em dance! 46 00:01:31,744 --> 00:01:32,510 No! 47 00:01:32,512 --> 00:01:36,097 ♪ Let your boobies show! ♪ 48 00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,783 Okay, I'm sorry, pal, 49 00:01:38,785 --> 00:01:41,385 but the party in my wife's sweater is a private event, 50 00:01:41,387 --> 00:01:42,386 and I'm the bouncer. 51 00:01:42,388 --> 00:01:44,222 Dude, I think they's the bouncers. 52 00:01:44,224 --> 00:01:48,425 Okay, can we stop talking about my wife's breasts, please? 53 00:01:48,427 --> 00:01:49,927 Ted ran into Victoria! 54 00:01:49,929 --> 00:01:51,779 I know, I'm still a little shaken by it. 55 00:01:51,781 --> 00:01:54,115 I mean, there she was after all these years. 56 00:01:54,117 --> 00:01:56,600 The emotions and memories and... 57 00:01:56,602 --> 00:01:59,654 Geez, Lily, it's like you have a butt on your chest. 58 00:02:00,606 --> 00:02:01,656 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 59 00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:05,681 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x03 ♪ Ducky Tie Original Air Date on September 26, 2011 60 00:02:05,682 --> 00:02:09,682 == sync, corrected by elderman == 61 00:02:09,707 --> 00:02:14,004 ♪ 62 00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:20,275 Why on Earth would I want to see that? 63 00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,143 They're round and attached to my body. 64 00:02:22,145 --> 00:02:23,527 It's an even trade. 65 00:02:23,529 --> 00:02:25,646 Okay, who wants dinner? 66 00:02:25,648 --> 00:02:27,531 Bless you. Let's go to Shinjitsu. 67 00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:28,950 Aw, again? Really? 68 00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:30,818 You bring that up, like, once a month. 69 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,703 It's hibachi grilling with a vaudeville twist. 70 00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:33,938 I mean, come on, who's in? 71 00:02:34,974 --> 00:02:37,074 No! Forget it! 72 00:02:37,076 --> 00:02:38,459 Okay, how about this: 73 00:02:38,461 --> 00:02:40,962 if you can go ten seconds without looking at Lily's boobs, 74 00:02:40,964 --> 00:02:42,880 we'll go wherever you want to go. 75 00:02:42,882 --> 00:02:46,167 Deal. 76 00:02:51,189 --> 00:02:52,189 Damn it! 77 00:02:52,191 --> 00:02:54,058 Oh, well. 78 00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:57,178 So you saw Victoria. 79 00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:58,929 You must have been freaked. 80 00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:01,232 No, it was cool. 81 00:03:02,884 --> 00:03:04,518 Hey, Ted. 82 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,038 Hey, kiddo. 83 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,941 Okay, Ted, 'cause from where I was standing... 84 00:03:24,923 --> 00:03:26,757 Robin! Just... okay? 85 00:03:26,759 --> 00:03:29,593 I'm telling this story. 86 00:03:29,595 --> 00:03:33,014 Instead of the obligatory awkward small talk, 87 00:03:33,016 --> 00:03:34,765 let me just kick this off 88 00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:39,053 by saying I'm really, really sorry. 89 00:03:39,055 --> 00:03:44,091 Thanks. It's unnecessary, but thanks. 90 00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:46,694 So, wasn't awkward. 91 00:03:46,696 --> 00:03:48,312 - It was a little awkward. - Not really. 92 00:03:48,314 --> 00:03:50,448 It was a little awkward. 93 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:53,934 Lucky for you, the cavalry rode in to smooth things over. 94 00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:57,321 So, uh... 95 00:03:57,323 --> 00:03:59,623 I stole your boyfriend! 96 00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:02,126 That was, like, crazy! 97 00:04:02,128 --> 00:04:03,294 Like, what?! 98 00:04:03,296 --> 00:04:07,248 But... bridge, water under it. 99 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,417 It was all Ted's fault. He got me drunk. 100 00:04:09,419 --> 00:04:11,585 What? Yeah! Be right there. 101 00:04:12,454 --> 00:04:16,006 Oh, guess who's here? Robin. 102 00:04:16,008 --> 00:04:19,060 Oh. I'm really happy for you guys. 103 00:04:19,062 --> 00:04:20,177 You look cute together. 104 00:04:20,179 --> 00:04:21,962 Oh, no, no, we're not together. 105 00:04:21,964 --> 00:04:24,098 I mean, we-we dated for, like, a year. 106 00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,649 But now we're just friends. 107 00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:27,151 It's not weird. 108 00:04:27,153 --> 00:04:28,986 No, no. Why would that be weird? 109 00:04:28,988 --> 00:04:31,272 I mean, if you hung out every day, that would... 110 00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:32,473 We do. 111 00:04:32,475 --> 00:04:34,024 ...still not be weird. 112 00:04:34,026 --> 00:04:35,142 I've never known anybody 113 00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,660 that hangs out with their ex every day. 114 00:04:36,662 --> 00:04:37,811 Well, Barney does. 115 00:04:37,813 --> 00:04:39,830 Really? Who's Barney's ex-girlfriend? 116 00:04:39,832 --> 00:04:40,781 Robin. 117 00:04:40,783 --> 00:04:42,149 Your Robin? 118 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,034 Mine and Barney's. 119 00:04:44,036 --> 00:04:47,004 You don't all three hang out together? 120 00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:47,872 All the time. 121 00:04:47,874 --> 00:04:50,641 And we have weird. 122 00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:52,042 It's not weird! 123 00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:54,378 Has anyone gotten a bite yet? 124 00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,963 Oh, good! Here we go! 125 00:04:55,965 --> 00:04:57,331 The main event. 126 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,049 Oh, we got Takumi. He is good! 127 00:04:59,051 --> 00:05:00,384 I mean, who am I kidding? 128 00:05:00,386 --> 00:05:01,385 They're all amazing! 129 00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:02,853 Let the dinnertainment begin! 130 00:05:04,773 --> 00:05:06,607 Oh, that reminds me, 131 00:05:06,609 --> 00:05:09,193 there's this other restaurant we should try sometime. 132 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:12,513 What they do is, they cook your meal in a little room 133 00:05:12,515 --> 00:05:13,680 called a "kitchen." 134 00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:15,032 What's the name of that...? 135 00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:18,285 Oh, yeah! "Every Other Restaurant In New York City." 136 00:05:18,287 --> 00:05:21,989 Hashtag burn, hashtag Your Tie Is Still Dumb, 137 00:05:21,991 --> 00:05:24,508 hashtag refill! 138 00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:28,012 So you're talking to Victoria. 139 00:05:28,014 --> 00:05:29,797 I'm talking to Victoria. 140 00:05:29,799 --> 00:05:32,199 Well, I should probably get back to the bakery. 141 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,552 I'm taking a late bus out to the Hamptons tonight, 142 00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:36,253 and I've got a sink full of dishes 143 00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:38,339 that my assistant did not clean. 144 00:05:38,341 --> 00:05:40,707 Because my assistant is me. 145 00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:43,544 But it was really good seeing you, Ted. 146 00:05:43,546 --> 00:05:45,712 - Yeah, you, too. - Okay. 147 00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:48,732 Wait. 148 00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:50,651 Let me do the dishes. 149 00:05:50,653 --> 00:05:51,552 What? 150 00:05:51,554 --> 00:05:54,188 Victoria, do you believe in fate? 151 00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:56,724 I believe you're about to give a big speech on fate. 152 00:05:56,726 --> 00:05:57,992 Well, I do. 153 00:05:57,994 --> 00:06:01,111 And I think when two people like you and me randomly bump 154 00:06:01,113 --> 00:06:03,063 into each other, it means something. 155 00:06:03,065 --> 00:06:05,583 I have to make amends for what I did. 156 00:06:05,585 --> 00:06:08,402 Look, I can't undo what I did six years ago, but... 157 00:06:08,404 --> 00:06:11,705 I can wash dishes. 158 00:06:11,707 --> 00:06:13,574 It's actually something I'm good at. 159 00:06:13,576 --> 00:06:15,042 Ted... 160 00:06:15,044 --> 00:06:18,412 I swear to you I am not trying anything. 161 00:06:18,414 --> 00:06:20,297 ♪ I said, bang, bang, bangity-bang ♪ 162 00:06:20,299 --> 00:06:22,082 ♪ I said a bang, bang, bangity-bang. ♪ 163 00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:25,019 Guys, guys! Shut up! 164 00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:27,221 Give the artist a little respect! 165 00:06:27,223 --> 00:06:29,807 Sir, I apologize for that, 166 00:06:29,809 --> 00:06:32,226 and for what I'm about to say. 167 00:06:32,228 --> 00:06:34,562 Here's my impression of this guy. 168 00:06:34,564 --> 00:06:35,980 Uh! Ooh! 169 00:06:35,982 --> 00:06:37,698 Uh! Uh! 170 00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:40,568 Welcome to Shinjitsu! Uh! 171 00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:44,321 I used to be a night manager at Dairy Queen! Brr! 172 00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:45,606 Anyone can do that. 173 00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,458 Oh really? Then why don't you do it, Barney? 174 00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:50,160 Show us all the tricks if they're so easy. 175 00:06:50,162 --> 00:06:51,712 Show us the onion volcano, 176 00:06:51,714 --> 00:06:53,130 the fried rice beating heart, 177 00:06:53,132 --> 00:06:54,582 the shrimp in the pocket. 178 00:06:54,584 --> 00:06:58,669 I bet Ted showed Victoria the shrimp in his pocket. 179 00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:00,004 Shrimp? Really? 180 00:07:00,006 --> 00:07:01,572 Okay, I'll do all 181 00:07:01,574 --> 00:07:03,624 those things. You just name the time and the place. 182 00:07:03,626 --> 00:07:05,509 Okay, right here after we eat. 183 00:07:05,511 --> 00:07:06,627 And what do I get if I do? 184 00:07:06,629 --> 00:07:07,595 What do you want? 185 00:07:07,597 --> 00:07:08,479 I want to touch Lily's boobs. 186 00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:09,847 Deal! 187 00:07:09,849 --> 00:07:10,797 Hey, sweetie? 188 00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:12,416 Yeah, I heard. 189 00:07:13,318 --> 00:07:16,570 Okay, Barney, you want to make this real? 190 00:07:16,572 --> 00:07:17,988 Let's make this real. 191 00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:20,908 If you can do all that stuff 192 00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,192 that Marshall just listed off, 193 00:07:22,194 --> 00:07:23,977 I will let you touch one boob. 194 00:07:23,979 --> 00:07:24,811 Both boobs. 195 00:07:24,813 --> 00:07:25,646 Just one. 196 00:07:25,648 --> 00:07:26,447 Touch and squeeze. 197 00:07:26,449 --> 00:07:27,114 Just touch. 198 00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:28,082 Touch and motorboat. 199 00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:28,782 Just touch. 200 00:07:28,784 --> 00:07:29,700 - Honka honka? - Barney. 201 00:07:29,702 --> 00:07:30,834 Just touch. Just touch. 202 00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:32,503 For one hour. For one second. 203 00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:33,820 20 minutes, both boobs. 204 00:07:33,822 --> 00:07:35,172 Thirty seconds, one boob. 205 00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,541 Four minutes, both boobs, three squeezes. 206 00:07:37,543 --> 00:07:39,656 One minute, both boobs, one squeeze. 207 00:07:39,657 --> 00:07:40,441 Deal! 208 00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:43,664 But... if you can't do everything 209 00:07:43,666 --> 00:07:45,099 and I mean everything, 210 00:07:45,101 --> 00:07:49,436 then you have to wear Marshall's ducky tie... 211 00:07:49,438 --> 00:07:51,071 for one year. 212 00:07:51,073 --> 00:07:53,824 Ooh... 213 00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:55,993 Deal. 214 00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:02,516 So you get to the bakery. 215 00:08:02,518 --> 00:08:04,401 We get to the bakery. 216 00:08:04,403 --> 00:08:06,487 Well, this is great. 217 00:08:06,489 --> 00:08:08,155 You know what else is getting clean 218 00:08:08,157 --> 00:08:09,540 along with this cupcake tray? 219 00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,191 My conscience. 220 00:08:11,193 --> 00:08:13,377 You got anything else you need to atone for? 221 00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:14,695 My oven needs cleaning. 222 00:08:14,697 --> 00:08:17,414 Un, no, nothing else. 223 00:08:18,366 --> 00:08:20,017 Not yet anyway. 224 00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:24,421 ♪ Bang, bang, bangity-bang, said a bang-bang-bangity. ♪ 225 00:08:24,423 --> 00:08:26,273 I'm getting married. 226 00:08:29,194 --> 00:08:30,694 Bang. 227 00:08:36,447 --> 00:08:38,545 Baby, I think I got yours. This one has no booze. 228 00:08:38,546 --> 00:08:39,411 Oh, no, that's mine. 229 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:40,713 Yeah, I don't know 230 00:08:40,715 --> 00:08:43,031 why people think that Mai Tais need booze. 231 00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,383 I've been drinking virgins all night, 232 00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:45,384 and they're delicious. 233 00:08:45,386 --> 00:08:47,386 Yeah, well, enjoy your Mai Tai 234 00:08:47,388 --> 00:08:52,224 because as of tomorrow night, you'll be wearing my tie. 235 00:08:52,226 --> 00:08:54,126 Our future child is so lucky. 236 00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,845 Wait. You're not drunk? 237 00:08:56,847 --> 00:09:00,933 Huh. I guess not. 238 00:09:00,935 --> 00:09:02,351 It's a hustle! 239 00:09:02,353 --> 00:09:03,435 We gettin' hustled! 240 00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,354 Oh, this stinks. 241 00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:06,855 This stinks to holy hell! 242 00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:08,574 He's gonna win the bet! 243 00:09:08,576 --> 00:09:11,827 Baby, come on. Even if he was sober as a nun, 244 00:09:11,829 --> 00:09:14,062 there's no way he could do what these guys do. 245 00:09:14,064 --> 00:09:18,400 Exactly. I mean, to learn the trademark secrets 246 00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:19,535 of Shinjitsu hibachi cooking, 247 00:09:19,537 --> 00:09:22,571 one would have to go all the way... 248 00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:24,740 to Hoboken, New Jersey. 249 00:09:24,742 --> 00:09:27,743 Yeah, they have a school there. 250 00:09:27,745 --> 00:09:29,878 It's a six-month course. They teach you everything. 251 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:30,963 How do you know that? 252 00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:33,432 Maybe I looked it up on my phone just now. 253 00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:37,136 Then again, maybe not. 254 00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,943 So Victoria's getting married. 255 00:09:44,945 --> 00:09:46,595 She's getting married. 256 00:09:46,597 --> 00:09:49,765 I'm sorry. I should have told you that way earlier. 257 00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,116 No, no, it's fine. 258 00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:52,985 You thought something was gonna happen. 259 00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:54,536 Like one percent. 260 00:09:54,538 --> 00:09:56,538 Maybe slap on a ring next time. 261 00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,607 Well, the problem is, he hasn't asked me yet. 262 00:09:58,609 --> 00:10:01,276 I found the ring in a box in his sock drawer. 263 00:10:01,278 --> 00:10:04,713 Wow! Guy's got a whole drawer just for socks? 264 00:10:04,715 --> 00:10:06,298 Must be nice. 265 00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:09,918 So when's Money Bags popping the question? 266 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,220 I'm pretty sure tomorrow. 267 00:10:11,222 --> 00:10:12,387 He's taking me out 268 00:10:12,389 --> 00:10:14,956 to a really nice restaurant out in the Hamptons. 269 00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,809 It's right on the water, 270 00:10:16,811 --> 00:10:21,630 so afterwards we'll take a walk on the beach in the moonlight. 271 00:10:21,632 --> 00:10:23,465 You should probably go. 272 00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:25,534 I don't know. It sounds pretty intimate. 273 00:10:27,687 --> 00:10:29,971 I'm serious. I feel like I misled you. 274 00:10:29,973 --> 00:10:34,309 Madam, I came here to wash your dishes. 275 00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:35,611 Nothing more. 276 00:10:36,579 --> 00:10:38,313 - Whoa! What was that!? - What was what? 277 00:10:38,315 --> 00:10:40,999 This guy and Barney just shared a look! 278 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,284 Do you know him? 279 00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:48,040 They did it again! 280 00:10:48,042 --> 00:10:50,042 This whole thing stinks, I tells ya! 281 00:10:50,044 --> 00:10:51,493 It stinks! 282 00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:55,681 Lily, are you really suggesting that Barney spent six months 283 00:10:55,683 --> 00:10:58,100 commuting back and forth to Hoboken 284 00:10:58,102 --> 00:11:00,586 to learn a signature cooking style of a restaurant 285 00:11:00,588 --> 00:11:03,155 he doesn't even like so he could win a bet 286 00:11:03,157 --> 00:11:04,857 he hadn't even made yet? 287 00:11:04,859 --> 00:11:06,859 Yeah, the whole thing stinks. 288 00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:09,111 No, it's not possible, okay? 289 00:11:09,113 --> 00:11:11,179 I was the one who said let's go to Shinjitsu... 290 00:11:11,181 --> 00:11:12,781 Bless you. 291 00:11:12,783 --> 00:11:14,950 How could Barney have... 292 00:11:19,873 --> 00:11:21,824 You brilliant bastard. 293 00:11:21,826 --> 00:11:23,542 It's all so obvious now. 294 00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:25,794 For the past, oh, I don't know how long, five years, 295 00:11:25,796 --> 00:11:27,830 every time I've said, "Let's go to Shinjitsu"" 296 00:11:27,832 --> 00:11:28,914 Bless you. 297 00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:32,050 You've sneezed. 298 00:11:32,052 --> 00:11:33,368 Every time. 299 00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:34,953 And little by little... 300 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,588 Let's go to Shinjitsu. 301 00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:38,540 Bless you. Bless you. 302 00:11:38,542 --> 00:11:41,710 ...you forged the association in my brain. 303 00:11:41,712 --> 00:11:43,028 So what should we do for dinner? 304 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,546 Let's go to Shinjitsu. 305 00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:45,814 Oh, bless you. Thanks. 306 00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:47,733 Until eventually... 307 00:11:47,735 --> 00:11:50,185 Yes, I know I said that we'd be back Sunday, 308 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,987 but guess what? We are back now! 309 00:11:51,989 --> 00:11:53,054 Now what on earth... 310 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:54,439 Stop bouncing! What on earth 311 00:11:54,441 --> 00:11:56,224 would make you think that we'd be okay with this? 312 00:11:56,226 --> 00:11:59,011 Let's go to Shinjitsu. 313 00:11:59,013 --> 00:12:00,913 When you were sick for a week last year, 314 00:12:00,915 --> 00:12:03,198 I had Shinjitsu like six times. 315 00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:05,284 You had the knife skills... 316 00:12:05,902 --> 00:12:07,870 you had the trigger... 317 00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:11,123 All you needed then was to want something from me. 318 00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:15,177 And then one day... those somethings came a-busting out. 319 00:12:15,179 --> 00:12:17,296 Wapowng! 320 00:12:17,298 --> 00:12:19,298 I am gonna have to walk this earth, 321 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:22,417 knowing Barney has touched my boobs. 322 00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:24,419 Yeah. It stays with you. 323 00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:27,089 His email reminders don't help. 324 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,807 Okay, Lily, this is ridiculous. 325 00:12:28,809 --> 00:12:30,559 If you want to call the bet off... 326 00:12:30,561 --> 00:12:31,777 Great! The bet's off! 327 00:12:31,779 --> 00:12:33,328 Let me finish. 328 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:36,932 If you let me just see them-- 329 00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:39,117 no touching, just looking-- for one minute... 330 00:12:39,119 --> 00:12:40,652 30 seconds. For 30 seconds, 331 00:12:40,654 --> 00:12:42,103 in a well-lit photography studio... 332 00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:43,906 - In the alley. - In the alley... 333 00:12:43,908 --> 00:12:45,490 then we'll cancel this entire wager completely. 334 00:12:45,492 --> 00:12:46,825 Do we have a deal? 335 00:12:48,277 --> 00:12:49,745 I totally think you should take the deal. 336 00:12:49,747 --> 00:12:51,279 I don't think we have a choice. 337 00:12:51,281 --> 00:12:52,464 Go on, take the deal. 338 00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:54,583 I'll... think about it. 339 00:12:57,637 --> 00:12:59,004 So you're doing the dishes... 340 00:12:59,006 --> 00:13:00,339 I'm doing the dishes. 341 00:13:00,341 --> 00:13:02,391 All done. 342 00:13:02,393 --> 00:13:03,675 Congratulations. 343 00:13:03,677 --> 00:13:07,128 Your karmic slate is clean and lemony fresh. 344 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,130 - Cheers. - Cheers. 345 00:13:09,132 --> 00:13:11,483 See, now I can start anew, 346 00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:14,353 and hopefully end up as happy as you and, uh... 347 00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:15,604 Sorry, what's his name? 348 00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:17,656 - Whose name? - Your fiancé-to-be. 349 00:13:17,658 --> 00:13:19,274 Oh! His name is Klaus. 350 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,393 - Klaus. - Klaus. 351 00:13:21,395 --> 00:13:22,644 German name. 352 00:13:22,646 --> 00:13:25,380 - Yeah, German guy. - Hmm. 353 00:13:25,382 --> 00:13:27,866 When you were living in Germany, 354 00:13:27,868 --> 00:13:30,002 and we were doing the whole long-distance thing... 355 00:13:30,004 --> 00:13:31,753 wasn't there a Klaus in your class? 356 00:13:31,755 --> 00:13:33,038 There was a Klaus in my class. 357 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,323 - And you and Klaus were close. - Not that close. 358 00:13:35,325 --> 00:13:37,592 Yes, yes, you and the Klaus from your class were quite close. 359 00:13:37,594 --> 00:13:38,677 Kind of close. 360 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,812 - Was that your Klaus? - My Klaus? 361 00:13:40,814 --> 00:13:42,114 - In your class. - In my class? 362 00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:44,416 Is your Klaus the kind of close Klaus from your class? 363 00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:45,851 Yes. 364 00:13:48,021 --> 00:13:50,171 You didn't cheat on me with Klaus, did you? 365 00:13:50,173 --> 00:13:52,507 - No. No, I did not. - Mm. 366 00:13:52,509 --> 00:13:53,859 Okay, new question. 367 00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:56,061 After we broke up, how long were you single 368 00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:58,313 before you and Klaus started dating? 369 00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:02,367 Oh, how long... um, well, we broke up in April, so... 370 00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:04,202 a day and a half. 371 00:14:04,204 --> 00:14:08,573 Oh, you have got to be kidding me! 372 00:14:08,575 --> 00:14:09,791 I'm sorry. 373 00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:11,960 So I've spent the last six years feeling like 374 00:14:11,962 --> 00:14:15,697 I completely betrayed you, when in truth, you... 375 00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:17,883 No, you know what? 376 00:14:21,388 --> 00:14:22,871 Okay. Fine. 377 00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:25,640 Just let yourself off the hook on a technicality! 378 00:14:25,642 --> 00:14:27,843 Forget the fact that you did cheat on me! 379 00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:31,596 Forget it? I will never forget it. Okay? 380 00:14:31,598 --> 00:14:32,981 I will never stop regretting it, 381 00:14:32,983 --> 00:14:34,850 because what we had meant that much to me! 382 00:14:34,852 --> 00:14:37,218 I just... I wish it had meant something to you, too. 383 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,553 Are you kidding? 384 00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:40,622 - I loved you! - Did you? 385 00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:42,107 Yes. 386 00:14:42,109 --> 00:14:47,729 We had such an amazing time together. 387 00:14:47,731 --> 00:14:48,914 Do you remember that night 388 00:14:48,916 --> 00:14:50,399 we found that crazy videotape of Barney? 389 00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:52,868 Game night. 390 00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:54,536 We played that ridiculous game Marshall invented. 391 00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:56,071 - Marshgammon. - Yeah. 392 00:14:56,073 --> 00:14:58,407 We've played it a few times since. I still don't get it. 393 00:14:58,409 --> 00:14:59,875 Remember the night we met? 394 00:14:59,877 --> 00:15:02,794 I remember you not letting me kiss you. 395 00:15:02,796 --> 00:15:04,413 Remember why? 396 00:15:04,415 --> 00:15:06,431 You had this ridiculous idea 397 00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:08,350 that the moment leading up to the kiss... 398 00:15:08,352 --> 00:15:09,301 The drum roll. 399 00:15:09,303 --> 00:15:11,636 ...is as good as the kiss itself. 400 00:15:11,638 --> 00:15:13,221 Isn't it? 401 00:15:13,223 --> 00:15:15,140 Well, it's certainly more innocent. 402 00:15:15,142 --> 00:15:16,525 It's completely harmless. 403 00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:18,393 Completely. 404 00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:33,467 - Oh, my God! - Oh no. 405 00:15:33,469 --> 00:15:34,986 No, no-no-no-no-no. 406 00:15:34,988 --> 00:15:37,138 - I should not have done that. - No, that was me. 407 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:40,107 I let you come wash my dishes! 408 00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,776 I said my "oven" needed "cleaning"! 409 00:15:41,778 --> 00:15:43,844 I invited you into a porno! 410 00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:45,196 No. 411 00:15:45,198 --> 00:15:47,064 You were right. This is fate. 412 00:15:47,066 --> 00:15:49,066 I needed to see you one more time 413 00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:50,902 in order to know for sure about Klaus. 414 00:15:50,904 --> 00:15:52,703 And...? 415 00:15:52,705 --> 00:15:55,239 And... 416 00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:59,694 I have a bus to catch. 417 00:16:03,899 --> 00:16:05,716 Fine, you can see my boobs! 418 00:16:05,718 --> 00:16:06,717 To the alley! 419 00:16:06,719 --> 00:16:09,337 This seems unfair. 420 00:16:09,339 --> 00:16:11,672 I mean, I get that I'm the only person 421 00:16:11,674 --> 00:16:13,057 not allowed to see this, but... 422 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,643 it just, it-it seems unfair. 423 00:16:15,645 --> 00:16:17,094 Come on, Lily, hurry up. 424 00:16:17,096 --> 00:16:18,646 Guys... 425 00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:21,766 You know, I'm all for honoring a bet, but who invited Takumi? 426 00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:24,602 Sorry, bro. I tried. 427 00:16:29,691 --> 00:16:31,392 What's going on? What am I missing? 428 00:16:31,394 --> 00:16:33,494 Are they out yet? What do they look like? 429 00:16:33,496 --> 00:16:34,829 Look, I don't want to know! 430 00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:36,230 Just tell me the kind of coin. 431 00:16:36,232 --> 00:16:39,000 Do you know how long 30 seconds is? 432 00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:42,253 It's going to be five seconds of... 433 00:16:42,255 --> 00:16:44,839 followed by 25 seconds of.... 434 00:16:45,757 --> 00:16:48,292 I mean, yes, seeing Lily's boobs 435 00:16:48,294 --> 00:16:50,795 is all you've ever wanted, but come on. 436 00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:53,798 All he's ever wanted... 437 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,216 Lily, stop! 438 00:16:55,218 --> 00:16:57,351 Don't you see? 439 00:16:57,353 --> 00:17:00,354 This was his plan all along! 440 00:17:00,356 --> 00:17:03,891 He let us think he knows how to do all this Shinjitsu stuff, 441 00:17:03,893 --> 00:17:05,926 just so he could get you out here 442 00:17:05,928 --> 00:17:08,062 whipping out your milk-makers! 443 00:17:08,064 --> 00:17:10,898 You son of a bitch! 444 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,700 The bet is back on! 445 00:17:13,485 --> 00:17:15,769 Nice try, Barney! 446 00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:17,738 Nice try. 447 00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:33,938 Maybe I was wrong. 448 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:36,340 Well, I guess that's everything you asked me to do, is it not? 449 00:17:36,342 --> 00:17:38,759 Oh, wait! The shrimp in the pocket. 450 00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:40,011 A modern classic. 451 00:17:40,013 --> 00:17:41,045 And now... 452 00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:43,898 for one minute on second base... 453 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,817 with a firm yet sensual squeeze... 454 00:17:46,819 --> 00:17:48,452 Nothing can stop him now. 455 00:17:48,454 --> 00:17:50,121 One thing can. 456 00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:51,489 Make that two things. 457 00:18:12,194 --> 00:18:14,178 No!! 458 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:17,682 Yeah! Yeah! 459 00:18:17,684 --> 00:18:19,550 So you take her to the bus... 460 00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:21,218 I take her to the bus. 461 00:18:22,554 --> 00:18:24,105 Well, this feels familiar. 462 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:27,308 You leaving, me kind of wanting to say, "Don't go"" 463 00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:28,693 Little late for that. 464 00:18:28,695 --> 00:18:30,695 Little bit. 465 00:18:30,697 --> 00:18:32,646 - Don't go. - Ted... 466 00:18:32,648 --> 00:18:34,398 I'm sorry. I just... 467 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,200 Why didn't I say it then? 468 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,953 Why'd I let you get on that plane? 469 00:18:38,955 --> 00:18:41,889 Why didn't I get on it with you? 470 00:18:41,891 --> 00:18:45,459 What would our lives be right now, if we had just... 471 00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:47,912 held on? 472 00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:50,364 Would I have still run into you at this party tonight... 473 00:18:50,366 --> 00:18:52,333 or would we have been there together? 474 00:18:52,335 --> 00:18:54,502 We'd go home... 475 00:18:54,504 --> 00:18:56,871 to our home? 476 00:18:57,923 --> 00:19:01,425 You cook. I do the dishes. 477 00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:04,145 I'm happy that you're happy. 478 00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:07,231 But damn it. 479 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,482 What if? 480 00:19:08,484 --> 00:19:11,102 Do you really want to know the answer to that? 481 00:19:11,104 --> 00:19:13,270 No. 482 00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:16,223 I think it would kill me. 483 00:19:16,225 --> 00:19:18,892 Good-bye, Ted. 484 00:19:29,204 --> 00:19:32,406 And that was it. 485 00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:35,259 Now she's probably engaged. 486 00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:39,580 Maybe it's for the best. 487 00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:45,436 All right. Well... 488 00:19:45,438 --> 00:19:47,321 We're gonna duck out. 489 00:19:48,757 --> 00:19:51,108 Sorry to leave you with the bill. 490 00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:55,613 Oh, guys, it's gonna be a good year. 491 00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,149 I'm glad you guys can laugh, 492 00:19:58,151 --> 00:20:00,151 'cause I think I'm gonna be physically ill. 493 00:20:00,153 --> 00:20:01,735 Coming down with a mallardy? 494 00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:03,988 Oh, they look hungry. There you go. 495 00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,623 Here you go. 496 00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:08,292 Kids, there was one part I left out. 497 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,294 Good-bye, Ted. 498 00:20:12,447 --> 00:20:15,616 Okay, yes. What's the answer? 499 00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:23,140 There is a reason that it didn't work out between you and me, 500 00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:25,092 but it's not Germany. 501 00:20:25,094 --> 00:20:27,711 And I'm willing to bet it's the same reason none of your other 502 00:20:27,713 --> 00:20:30,130 relationships in the last six years have lasted either. 503 00:20:30,132 --> 00:20:31,482 It's Robin. 504 00:20:32,634 --> 00:20:33,684 No. 505 00:20:33,686 --> 00:20:35,102 Yes. 506 00:20:35,104 --> 00:20:38,105 She is so much bigger in your world than you realize. 507 00:20:38,107 --> 00:20:41,659 And this thing that you're all doing, you and Barney and Robin, 508 00:20:41,661 --> 00:20:44,945 where the three of you hang out at the bar night in, night out, 509 00:20:44,947 --> 00:20:46,831 like you're all just buddies? 510 00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,416 That doesn't work. Trust me. 511 00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:51,418 You-You've got it all wrong. 512 00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:53,137 I'm right about this. 513 00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:56,841 Good-bye, Ted. 514 00:21:00,654 --> 00:21:03,154 And sure enough, she was right. 515 00:21:03,156 --> 00:21:05,573 It didn't work; we just didn't realize it yet. 516 00:21:05,575 --> 00:21:09,575 == sync, corrected by elderman ==