1
00:00:02,038 --> 00:00:04,303
Kids, by the spring of 2013,
2
00:00:04,325 --> 00:00:06,058
Lily and Marshall had life
figured out;
3
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:09,928
Lily was making a name as the
art consultant for The Captain,
4
00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:12,664
Marshall was a superstar
environmental lawyer
5
00:00:12,666 --> 00:00:16,035
and home life
was a well-oiled machine.
6
00:00:16,037 --> 00:00:17,069
And then...
7
00:00:17,071 --> 00:00:18,954
something changed.
8
00:00:18,956 --> 00:00:22,007
Captain, you wanted to see me?
9
00:00:22,009 --> 00:00:24,326
Captain? Hello?
10
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,462
Permission to come aboard?
11
00:00:26,464 --> 00:00:28,430
Granted.
12
00:00:28,432 --> 00:00:31,717
I'm moving to Rome
13
00:00:31,719 --> 00:00:33,519
and I'd like you to come
with me.
14
00:00:33,521 --> 00:00:34,520
Carry on.
15
00:00:34,522 --> 00:00:36,605
What?!
That-That-That's amazing,
16
00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:40,059
but I-I don't know if I can
just uproot my life.
17
00:00:40,061 --> 00:00:42,061
It's only for a year.
Carry on.
18
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:43,529
But I'm married
and we have a baby
19
00:00:43,531 --> 00:00:46,365
and they just opened
a Shake Shack on our block
20
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:47,766
and there's never a line!
21
00:00:47,768 --> 00:00:49,034
I understand
it's a big decision.
22
00:00:49,036 --> 00:00:50,452
Take all the time you need.
23
00:00:50,454 --> 00:00:52,871
Just let me know
by the end of the day.
24
00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:55,791
Also, I need your advice on
purchasing some luggage.
25
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:57,726
What kind?
Carry on.
26
00:00:58,757 --> 00:01:02,757
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x21 ♪
Romeward Bound
Original Air Date on April 15, 2013
27
00:01:02,782 --> 00:01:07,782
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
28
00:01:11,341 --> 00:01:13,425
Well, this has been fun.
I should go.
29
00:01:13,427 --> 00:01:15,227
But you literally just got here.
30
00:01:15,229 --> 00:01:16,778
I didn't "literally"
just get here.
31
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:18,480
I hate when people misuse
that word.
32
00:01:18,482 --> 00:01:21,266
So do I.
But you literally just got here.
33
00:01:21,268 --> 00:01:23,819
Hey, Ted.
34
00:01:23,821 --> 00:01:25,804
Well, this has been fun.
I should go.
35
00:01:25,806 --> 00:01:27,939
Okay, fine, now I'm leaving.
36
00:01:27,941 --> 00:01:30,041
Why do people go
to a bar, anyway?
37
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:32,777
To get your drink on
and some girl's pants off.
38
00:01:32,779 --> 00:01:34,612
I can do both at home.
39
00:01:35,882 --> 00:01:37,899
What are you looking at?
40
00:01:37,901 --> 00:01:39,117
The girl in the big coat?
41
00:01:39,119 --> 00:01:40,618
We were in
the same yoga class together.
42
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:44,072
You know how sometimes you'll
meet a girl and there'll be
43
00:01:44,074 --> 00:01:46,224
that one bewitching little
detail that'll make you
44
00:01:46,226 --> 00:01:48,293
fall in love with her instantly?
45
00:01:48,295 --> 00:01:50,462
You know, a little freckle
on the nose,
46
00:01:50,464 --> 00:01:51,646
the-the lilt of her laugh,
47
00:01:51,648 --> 00:01:53,965
the way she pronounces
a certain word or phrase?
48
00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:55,800
Sure, totally.
49
00:01:55,802 --> 00:01:57,185
Well, in this girl's case,
50
00:01:57,187 --> 00:02:00,322
the bewitching little detail is
the fact
51
00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:03,475
that she has
just a "redonkulous" body.
52
00:02:03,477 --> 00:02:04,809
Redonkulous?
53
00:02:04,811 --> 00:02:06,027
Redonkulous!
54
00:02:06,029 --> 00:02:08,413
I've only heard you use
"redonkulous" to describe
55
00:02:08,415 --> 00:02:10,382
Mission Impossible:
Ghost Protocol.
56
00:02:10,384 --> 00:02:11,750
Barney, this girl has
57
00:02:11,752 --> 00:02:16,872
the Mission Impossible:
Ghost Protocol of bodies.
58
00:02:16,874 --> 00:02:18,707
Whoa.
59
00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:20,792
Just wait till she takes
that coat off.
60
00:02:20,794 --> 00:02:23,828
Oh, wait, sorry, you were
just about to leave, right?
61
00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:26,047
I mean, I've already paid
for this drink.
62
00:02:26,049 --> 00:02:30,302
Guys, The Captain just made me
a very interesting offer.
63
00:02:30,304 --> 00:02:32,854
Finally, we get around
to the real reason he hired you.
64
00:02:32,856 --> 00:02:35,390
Just promise you film it,
and please use a tripod.
65
00:02:35,392 --> 00:02:36,525
There's nothing artistic
about shaky-cam.
66
00:02:36,527 --> 00:02:38,059
It just looks sloppy.
67
00:02:38,061 --> 00:02:40,695
He wants me to move
to Rome for a year
68
00:02:40,697 --> 00:02:42,113
to buy art for him.
69
00:02:42,115 --> 00:02:43,281
Whoa! Seriously?
70
00:02:43,283 --> 00:02:45,116
Is that something you want to do?
Are you kidding?
71
00:02:45,118 --> 00:02:46,851
I've always wanted
to live abroad!
72
00:02:46,853 --> 00:02:50,455
My summer in Paris, back in
college, was so enlightening:
73
00:02:50,457 --> 00:02:53,858
the art, the history,
the free cheese
74
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,494
just for wearing
a low-cut top.
75
00:02:55,496 --> 00:02:57,546
Well, how does Marshall feel
about moving?
76
00:02:57,548 --> 00:02:59,047
I haven't told him yet.
77
00:02:59,049 --> 00:03:00,865
He really loves
his job here.
78
00:03:00,867 --> 00:03:02,584
Yeah, but he also
loves Italy!
79
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:04,836
He took a week
of Italian in college,
80
00:03:04,838 --> 00:03:07,005
and the only reason
he dropped it was
81
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:09,641
'cause he had a conflict...
with being not stoned.
82
00:03:09,643 --> 00:03:12,761
But he still knows
how to say the phrase,
83
00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:15,764
"Come on, bro, don't Bogart
all the Funyuns."
84
00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:18,483
All right,
I'm gonna call him.
85
00:03:20,219 --> 00:03:21,436
Hey, baby.
86
00:03:21,438 --> 00:03:23,154
Hey, baby, I can't talk
right now.
87
00:03:23,156 --> 00:03:24,689
I'm working on a big case. Bye.
88
00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:26,107
And that's when Lily realized
89
00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:28,443
what moving to Rome
would really mean.
90
00:03:28,445 --> 00:03:30,829
♪
91
00:03:56,255 --> 00:03:57,755
And before you know it...
92
00:03:57,757 --> 00:03:59,307
...his life turns
into an angsty,
93
00:03:59,309 --> 00:04:01,393
existential black-and-white
Italian movie.
94
00:04:01,395 --> 00:04:02,894
Exactly.
95
00:04:16,509 --> 00:04:19,244
I used to be a lawyer.
96
00:04:21,547 --> 00:04:24,883
I don't know anymore.
97
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,565
I'm sorry. I got to hit
pause for a second.
98
00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:42,517
Why is it so hot in here?
99
00:04:42,519 --> 00:04:44,603
Oh, right. While you were
blabbering on and on
100
00:04:44,605 --> 00:04:46,137
about your whole life crisis
or whatever,
101
00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:48,806
I slipped Carl a hundred
to turn the heat up in here.
102
00:04:48,808 --> 00:04:49,908
What? Why?
103
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:53,478
Because she is still
in the big puffy coat!
104
00:04:54,947 --> 00:04:55,830
Barney, what are
you doing?
105
00:04:55,832 --> 00:04:57,315
I'm trying her out of that coat,
106
00:04:57,317 --> 00:04:58,199
that's what I'm doing!
107
00:04:58,201 --> 00:04:59,451
I'm fighting hotness
with hotness!
108
00:04:59,453 --> 00:05:00,652
You're engaged.
109
00:05:00,654 --> 00:05:03,204
Okay, Lily, clearly you're
forgetting something.
110
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:06,424
Yes, I'm engaged
to the coolest girl on Earth.
111
00:05:06,426 --> 00:05:08,259
This is about looking,
not touching.
112
00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:11,212
Robin understands there is one
set of balls she can't tie up
113
00:05:11,214 --> 00:05:14,215
with a necktie and lightly hit
with a Ping-Pong paddle.
114
00:05:14,217 --> 00:05:15,634
These balls.
115
00:05:15,636 --> 00:05:17,168
Okay, I'm gonna call
The Captain,
116
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:19,504
get this over with.
117
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,974
Ahoy.
118
00:05:22,976 --> 00:05:23,808
Hello, Captain?
119
00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:26,010
Lily, I hope you're not calling
120
00:05:26,012 --> 00:05:27,862
to harpoon our big move
to Rome.
121
00:05:27,864 --> 00:05:31,866
Thank you, but I can't ask my
husband to abandon his career.
122
00:05:31,868 --> 00:05:33,851
Would you like me
to try and convince him?
123
00:05:33,853 --> 00:05:35,470
I'm very persuasive.
124
00:05:35,472 --> 00:05:37,522
I'm sorry, the ship has sailed.
125
00:05:37,524 --> 00:05:39,140
What's that mean?
126
00:05:39,142 --> 00:05:42,327
Well, you know,
"The ship has sailed"?
127
00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:44,379
That it's over and there's
nothing you can do?
128
00:05:44,381 --> 00:05:46,464
What a peculiar expression. Hmm.
129
00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:48,866
Well, thanks for all
your hard work, Lily.
130
00:05:48,868 --> 00:05:50,535
I've never been good at
good-byes, so...
131
00:05:52,004 --> 00:05:53,204
Well, that's that.
132
00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:55,924
My dream job as an
art consultant is over.
133
00:05:55,926 --> 00:05:57,092
And the sad part...
134
00:05:57,094 --> 00:05:59,043
Okay, I gotta stop you
right there, Lily,
135
00:05:59,045 --> 00:06:02,230
'cause unless I'm mistaken,
lock and load gentlemen.
136
00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:07,552
A scarf?! No, don't put on,
take off!
137
00:06:07,554 --> 00:06:09,554
Okay, you're
starting to drool.
138
00:06:09,556 --> 00:06:11,156
I'm calling creepy.
139
00:06:11,158 --> 00:06:12,073
Lily, it's fine.
140
00:06:12,075 --> 00:06:13,558
This is purely academic.
141
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,194
It's-It's like bird-watching.
142
00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:19,447
And right now, I am watching
a double-breasted-- Robin!
143
00:06:22,901 --> 00:06:24,085
Wait-- they know
each other?!
144
00:06:24,087 --> 00:06:25,503
Whoa, wait--
what is going on here?
145
00:06:25,505 --> 00:06:27,455
Oh, my God,
it's happening.
146
00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:28,707
This is just like I imagined.
147
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:31,760
Right in front of Ted,
so I can rub it in his face.
148
00:06:31,762 --> 00:06:32,910
The belt is mine!
149
00:06:32,912 --> 00:06:36,131
Hi, guys. Barney,
you remember Liddy.
150
00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:37,915
I do?
151
00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:40,135
Yes! Libby.
152
00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:42,020
Liddy. We met
when Robin hired me.
153
00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:42,971
Robin hired you?
154
00:06:42,973 --> 00:06:44,472
Naughty girl. Okay.
155
00:06:44,474 --> 00:06:46,474
Okay, so how's
this gonna go down?
156
00:06:46,476 --> 00:06:48,893
You two just gonna start,
and I'll just jump in?
157
00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:52,564
Uh, she's our
wedding planner.
158
00:06:52,566 --> 00:06:55,366
Of course
she's the wedding planner!
159
00:06:55,368 --> 00:06:57,202
Good to see you again, Libby.
160
00:06:57,204 --> 00:06:58,787
Liddy.
Yeah.
161
00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:02,240
Hey, I'm Ted.
We, uh, we met once before.
162
00:07:02,242 --> 00:07:04,459
Oh, right, in yoga class.
How are you?
163
00:07:04,461 --> 00:07:07,212
She's talking to me.
164
00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,581
Well, I would love
to stay,
165
00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:11,049
but now that
I'm unemployed,
166
00:07:11,051 --> 00:07:13,501
I think I'll go surprise
Marshall at work.
167
00:07:13,503 --> 00:07:16,638
Wedding planner.
168
00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:20,625
So Lily went
to visit Marshall at work,
169
00:07:20,627 --> 00:07:22,393
hoping she wasn't interrupting
anything important.
170
00:07:22,395 --> 00:07:24,312
She wasn't.
171
00:07:24,314 --> 00:07:28,266
Whoa. What is going on?
172
00:07:28,268 --> 00:07:30,702
Bernard, if we just glue
the cards together...
173
00:07:30,704 --> 00:07:33,304
Lily!
What are you doing here?
174
00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:34,489
Well, I baked you brownies
175
00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,808
because I thought
you were busy working, but...
176
00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,610
so when you said...
177
00:07:38,612 --> 00:07:40,078
Lily, hey, I can't really talk.
178
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,163
I'm working on a big project
right now.
179
00:07:42,165 --> 00:07:43,531
It's a real house of cards.
180
00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:46,584
Is this the "house of cards"
you were talking about?
181
00:07:47,803 --> 00:07:50,004
I thought you had
some big client.
182
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:53,508
Oh, sweetheart, we haven't had
a client here in months.
183
00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:56,544
Mmm! Brownies! Hey!
184
00:08:01,891 --> 00:08:03,503
What is going on?
What do you mean
185
00:08:03,504 --> 00:08:05,506
you haven't had
a client in months?
186
00:08:05,507 --> 00:08:07,291
Ever since the Gruber case,
187
00:08:07,293 --> 00:08:09,093
we lost a lot of business,
188
00:08:09,095 --> 00:08:12,413
people got laid off...
it's just me and Bernard now.
189
00:08:12,415 --> 00:08:13,481
Where's Cootes?
190
00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:15,716
He's holed up in a bomb shelter
in Colorado,
191
00:08:15,718 --> 00:08:18,635
waiting for the apocalypse and
tending to his herb garden.
192
00:08:18,637 --> 00:08:21,805
So all those times I've called
you in the past few months,
193
00:08:21,807 --> 00:08:24,942
when you talked
about how busy you were...
194
00:08:24,944 --> 00:08:26,527
you were just lying to me?
195
00:08:26,529 --> 00:08:29,029
Technically, I never lied...
196
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:31,699
Hey, baby.
197
00:08:31,701 --> 00:08:33,334
Hey, baby, I can't talk
right now.
198
00:08:33,336 --> 00:08:35,920
I'm working on a big case. Bye.
199
00:08:39,324 --> 00:08:41,825
That is a big case.
200
00:08:42,627 --> 00:08:43,594
Bad time, Lily.
201
00:08:43,596 --> 00:08:45,012
I got to focus on the client.
202
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:46,213
Gotta go. Bye.
203
00:08:47,215 --> 00:08:48,599
Where were we?
204
00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:50,017
Chapter 19.
205
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:53,503
I can't talk right now;
I got a lot on my plate.
206
00:08:53,505 --> 00:08:55,723
Well, let's dig in.
207
00:08:55,725 --> 00:08:58,108
If we start now,
we can be done by lunch.
208
00:08:59,528 --> 00:09:00,895
Now's not a good time, Lil.
209
00:09:00,897 --> 00:09:04,315
We got a lot of balls
in the air right now.
210
00:09:04,317 --> 00:09:07,034
Okay, toss me
the stapler.
211
00:09:08,186 --> 00:09:09,904
Unbelievable.
212
00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:13,490
Wait-- when you said you were
about to get reamed...
213
00:09:13,492 --> 00:09:15,659
Oh, right. That.
214
00:09:15,661 --> 00:09:16,877
No, sometimes, for fun,
215
00:09:16,879 --> 00:09:18,996
We throw reams of paper
at each other.
216
00:09:18,998 --> 00:09:22,082
Bernard! Not a good time!
217
00:09:22,084 --> 00:09:24,668
Read the room!
218
00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:26,754
I'm sorry, baby, I...
219
00:09:26,756 --> 00:09:28,973
I didn't want you
to see me fail.
220
00:09:28,975 --> 00:09:32,843
Damn it! Do you realize what you
cost us by lying to me?
221
00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,478
The Captain is moving
to Rome,
222
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,514
and he offered to bring me along
as his art consultant,
223
00:09:37,516 --> 00:09:40,184
but I turned it down, because
I thought you loved your job.
224
00:09:40,186 --> 00:09:42,069
Oh, my gosh.
225
00:09:42,071 --> 00:09:43,737
If we lived in Italy,
226
00:09:43,739 --> 00:09:46,073
I could just spend my days
taking care of Marvin
227
00:09:46,075 --> 00:09:50,227
and trying to make pasta and
watching Italian Price Is Right.
228
00:09:50,229 --> 00:09:51,779
It sounds like a dream!
229
00:09:51,781 --> 00:09:52,746
Oh, it's too late.
230
00:09:52,748 --> 00:09:54,231
No, no. Lily, I'm going
231
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,616
to The Captain's right now!
232
00:09:55,618 --> 00:09:57,167
I'm gonna make this right!
233
00:09:57,169 --> 00:09:58,252
I'm gonna get
you that job!
234
00:09:58,254 --> 00:10:00,454
No, Marshall...
You're getting that job!
235
00:10:00,456 --> 00:10:02,907
You can just make it out
to Liddy Gates.
236
00:10:02,909 --> 00:10:04,842
That's L-I-D-D-Y.
237
00:10:04,844 --> 00:10:06,543
L-I, two D's...
238
00:10:06,545 --> 00:10:07,744
double D...
239
00:10:07,746 --> 00:10:10,264
two D's... -Y.
240
00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:12,883
Well, here is the final
menu, as we discussed,
241
00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:14,134
but let me be clear.
242
00:10:14,136 --> 00:10:15,803
You're the boss;
I'm here to serve you.
243
00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:17,805
So if there's anything
you want me to remove,
244
00:10:17,807 --> 00:10:19,723
just tell me to remove it
and it's gone.
245
00:10:19,725 --> 00:10:21,442
I'll remove
anything you want.
246
00:10:21,444 --> 00:10:23,060
That sounds like a sound policy.
Up to you, whatever you feel like.
247
00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:24,228
That's a good...
That's a good thing to know.
248
00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:26,031
That's fine, you can
remove whatever you want.
249
00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:28,432
I'm serious, and I won't be
offended; you want it gone,
250
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:30,901
I'll take it right off.
Is it hot in here?
251
00:10:30,903 --> 00:10:32,569
It's not cold.
You know what?
252
00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:34,238
It's hot; it's sticky.
It's not... It's like
253
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,939
Bikram, right?
254
00:10:35,941 --> 00:10:37,408
We're yoga buddies.
255
00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:39,960
♪ Yoga buddies.
256
00:10:39,962 --> 00:10:43,547
Well, I'll let you
guys read the menu.
257
00:10:43,549 --> 00:10:45,716
- Can you point me to the...
- Coat rack?
258
00:10:45,718 --> 00:10:46,917
...restroom?
259
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:48,802
Uh, it's right over there.
260
00:10:48,804 --> 00:10:50,971
But it's hard to pee
in a giant coat.
261
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:53,424
Okay, what's going on?
262
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:54,842
Why are you guys being
so weird?
263
00:10:54,844 --> 00:10:58,929
Ted says that Liddy has
a ridonkulous body,
264
00:10:58,931 --> 00:10:59,664
but there's no way of
verifying
265
00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:01,516
because she
won't take off the coat!
266
00:11:01,517 --> 00:11:03,100
Is that why
it's so hot in here?
267
00:11:03,102 --> 00:11:05,386
Did you pay Carl
to turn up the heat again?
268
00:11:05,388 --> 00:11:07,488
Well, yes.
269
00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:09,657
But I was curious.
270
00:11:09,659 --> 00:11:11,442
I want to get that
coat on the rack
271
00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:13,327
so I can see the rack
that's under the coat.
272
00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:14,578
My God.
273
00:11:15,447 --> 00:11:17,614
I have been wondering
274
00:11:17,616 --> 00:11:19,283
the same thing.
275
00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:21,201
I mean, she never takes
that coat off.
276
00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:22,536
Whatever she's smuggling
under there
277
00:11:22,538 --> 00:11:23,987
has to be thermonuclear.
278
00:11:23,989 --> 00:11:26,790
I bet she has WBDs.
279
00:11:27,459 --> 00:11:29,043
Weapons of bra destruction.
280
00:11:29,577 --> 00:11:30,660
Thank you.
281
00:11:30,662 --> 00:11:32,046
This, this is why
282
00:11:32,048 --> 00:11:34,264
you're the coolest
fiancée ever.
283
00:11:36,268 --> 00:11:40,504
So, Ted, when you
say ridonkulous...
284
00:11:40,506 --> 00:11:42,189
I can't even describe it.
285
00:11:42,191 --> 00:11:45,859
It'd be like trying to explain
a rainbow to a blind person.
286
00:11:45,861 --> 00:11:47,511
Is she single?
287
00:11:47,513 --> 00:11:48,678
Why don't you ask her out?
288
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,532
Actually, I almost did
the first time we met,
289
00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:54,952
before she took off that coat.
290
00:11:54,954 --> 00:11:56,186
Sandstorm?
291
00:11:56,188 --> 00:11:58,489
Dubai? That hoodie?
292
00:11:58,491 --> 00:12:00,040
I mean, it's ridonkulous.
293
00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:02,042
Oh, I know.
I so want to see it again.
294
00:12:02,044 --> 00:12:03,610
Well, hey, I mean,
maybe after this,
295
00:12:03,612 --> 00:12:04,795
if you're not doing anything.
296
00:12:04,797 --> 00:12:06,196
Totally, and maybe later,
297
00:12:06,198 --> 00:12:07,531
we could get a bite to eat.
298
00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,883
There's this great place
that's super close.
299
00:12:11,803 --> 00:12:12,753
No, I...
300
00:12:12,755 --> 00:12:14,054
No, I... No.
301
00:12:14,056 --> 00:12:15,639
It was just too much.
302
00:12:15,641 --> 00:12:18,759
Indiana Jones wouldn't look
at this body.
303
00:12:18,761 --> 00:12:22,346
This is a body
that would melt a Nazi's face.
304
00:12:22,348 --> 00:12:25,816
Oh, man, I want
my face to melt.
305
00:12:25,818 --> 00:12:28,385
It's too bad
Marshall isn't here.
306
00:12:28,387 --> 00:12:29,787
Why Marshall?
307
00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:31,054
'Cause he could just say...
308
00:12:31,056 --> 00:12:32,122
Hey, Liddy,
309
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:33,907
why don't you take
off that coat?
310
00:12:33,909 --> 00:12:35,025
And Liddy would be all...
311
00:12:35,027 --> 00:12:36,610
Sure, should I take
my shirt off, too?
312
00:12:36,612 --> 00:12:38,028
No, the coat's
probably enough.
313
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:40,080
And he'd get away with it.
314
00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:41,865
You know why? No stink.
315
00:12:41,867 --> 00:12:44,952
You obviously haven't split
a cab with him after basketball.
316
00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:46,736
No, I don't mean
317
00:12:46,738 --> 00:12:47,788
"physical stink."
318
00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,072
I mean the pheromonal stink
319
00:12:49,074 --> 00:12:51,508
a guy gives off when
he's desperate for action
320
00:12:51,510 --> 00:12:52,793
to a pathetic degree.
321
00:12:52,795 --> 00:12:54,411
You know, like Ted.
322
00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:55,579
I have stink?
323
00:12:55,581 --> 00:12:57,464
Bro, you dipped in stink.
324
00:12:57,466 --> 00:12:59,383
If Liddy came back to
the table and you said...
325
00:12:59,385 --> 00:13:00,467
Uh, Liddy,
326
00:13:00,469 --> 00:13:02,586
why don't you, uh,
take off that coat?
327
00:13:02,588 --> 00:13:03,753
You want me to take my coat off?
328
00:13:03,755 --> 00:13:05,389
How about instead,
I take off your face?
329
00:13:05,391 --> 00:13:06,590
Ow!
330
00:13:06,592 --> 00:13:07,724
Ow, oh!
331
00:13:07,726 --> 00:13:08,892
Really?
332
00:13:08,894 --> 00:13:10,611
You had to have her beat me up?
333
00:13:10,613 --> 00:13:11,895
She's not done, Ted.
334
00:13:11,897 --> 00:13:13,547
Ghost Protocol
335
00:13:13,549 --> 00:13:15,932
wasn't that good!
336
00:13:17,136 --> 00:13:18,569
Marshall, on the other hand,
337
00:13:18,571 --> 00:13:20,871
girls take one
look and just know
338
00:13:20,873 --> 00:13:23,707
there's a guy who's met
the girl of his dreams
339
00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:25,709
and wants to spend
the rest of his life
340
00:13:25,711 --> 00:13:27,294
with her and only her.
341
00:13:27,296 --> 00:13:28,912
So why don't you ask her?
342
00:13:28,914 --> 00:13:30,113
Pardon me?
343
00:13:30,115 --> 00:13:31,048
Aren't you
344
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:32,382
a guy who's met
345
00:13:32,384 --> 00:13:34,251
the girl of his dreams
and wants to spend
346
00:13:34,253 --> 00:13:36,953
the rest of his life with her
and only her?
347
00:13:36,955 --> 00:13:39,756
Of course, baby.
348
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:42,309
So why don't you ask her
to take her coat off?
349
00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:46,980
Um...
350
00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:51,602
And you never even
saw Ghost Protocol.
351
00:13:52,604 --> 00:13:54,271
So, the big day's
coming up.
352
00:13:54,273 --> 00:13:56,356
How are you guys feeling?
353
00:13:56,358 --> 00:13:57,691
I talked to the caterer,
354
00:13:57,693 --> 00:13:59,743
and the mini lamb shanks
are gonna be amazing.
355
00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:00,777
Oh, by the way,
356
00:14:00,779 --> 00:14:02,362
I talked to the florist,
and the violets
357
00:14:02,364 --> 00:14:04,281
- are gonna be gorgeous.
- Okay, Barney. You can do this.
358
00:14:04,283 --> 00:14:05,833
Just say it. Say it.
359
00:14:05,835 --> 00:14:07,251
...little ones and big ones...
360
00:14:07,253 --> 00:14:08,502
Say it.
361
00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:11,788
Hey, Liddy, do you want
to take off your coat?
362
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,328
Sure.
363
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:20,848
I did it! I proved to myself
and everyone else
364
00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:23,267
that I have no desire
to be with any other woman.
365
00:14:23,269 --> 00:14:25,853
I am completely immune
to every other...
366
00:14:28,106 --> 00:14:30,140
Holy crap!
367
00:14:33,195 --> 00:14:34,311
And it was, indeed,
368
00:14:34,313 --> 00:14:35,445
ridonkulous.
369
00:14:35,447 --> 00:14:38,148
And we got to see it,
all thanks
370
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:39,566
to this lovely lady
right here.
371
00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:42,703
Robin, thanks to you,
I can now walk up to any girl
372
00:14:42,705 --> 00:14:45,122
and say whatever creepy,
disgusting thing I want
373
00:14:45,124 --> 00:14:46,456
and totally get away with it.
374
00:14:46,458 --> 00:14:47,524
Mm.
Man!
375
00:14:47,526 --> 00:14:49,826
I think I'm gonna
like being married.
376
00:14:51,664 --> 00:14:52,696
Hello?
377
00:14:53,448 --> 00:14:54,798
Ahoy.
378
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,199
Ahoy, Lily.
379
00:14:56,201 --> 00:14:58,085
I just had a long talk
with your husband.
380
00:14:58,087 --> 00:15:00,921
He convinced me to offer you
that job in Rome again.
381
00:15:00,923 --> 00:15:02,472
How do you respond?
382
00:15:02,474 --> 00:15:07,261
Thanks,
but the answer is still no.
383
00:15:12,942 --> 00:15:16,004
Lily, why the hell did you
turn that down again.
384
00:15:16,029 --> 00:15:19,277
Because I 'd have to get
a new passport photo.
385
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,873
And I'd miss out
on New York in August.
386
00:15:21,898 --> 00:15:24,300
Unless they open
the Shake Shop in a box.
387
00:15:24,325 --> 00:15:26,649
Lily, what's
the real reason?
388
00:15:27,878 --> 00:15:29,756
What if we moved to Rome...
389
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:39,617
What's so funny?
390
00:15:39,642 --> 00:15:40,780
I'm uh sorry.
391
00:15:40,829 --> 00:15:44,536
I can't believe you paid a
10 million euro this painting.
392
00:15:44,561 --> 00:15:45,461
Why not?
393
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,854
This is not even a painting.
394
00:15:47,094 --> 00:15:49,490
I spin my plate, it's gonna
fill a blank canvas.
395
00:15:50,748 --> 00:15:51,980
It's like a toilet.
396
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,466
It just make you look uh
397
00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:56,181
stupida.
398
00:15:56,599 --> 00:15:58,168
Lily, you're fired.
What?
399
00:15:58,193 --> 00:16:00,607
But no. I-I...it's still
a great painting.
400
00:16:00,632 --> 00:16:03,447
I like what it says about
the structure in society
401
00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:04,953
and the changing
worlds of women.
402
00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:18,815
I used to be
an art consultant.
403
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,873
Hey baby. It's time for
Marvin's, uh, bottle.
404
00:16:31,192 --> 00:16:33,526
And it's all because
I screwed up and through away
405
00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:35,722
a perfectly comfortable
life here in New York.
406
00:16:35,747 --> 00:16:37,752
Lily, you're not going
to screw up.
407
00:16:37,801 --> 00:16:38,951
You know what, just please,
408
00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:40,268
just leave it alone.
409
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:41,453
Besides,
410
00:16:41,455 --> 00:16:42,705
deep down, I don't think
411
00:16:42,707 --> 00:16:44,548
Marshall's even excited
about Italy.
412
00:16:44,573 --> 00:16:46,784
At that very moment
in little Italy.
413
00:17:03,276 --> 00:17:05,894
Marron!
414
00:17:05,896 --> 00:17:07,813
I can't wait for
my wedding day.
415
00:17:07,815 --> 00:17:09,682
I mean, there is no way
416
00:17:09,684 --> 00:17:12,651
that Liddy is gonna be wearing
that coat, right?
417
00:17:12,653 --> 00:17:13,736
Right?
418
00:17:13,738 --> 00:17:15,654
"Barney Stinson, do you hope
419
00:17:15,656 --> 00:17:17,856
she wears something slinky
and backless?"
420
00:17:17,858 --> 00:17:20,159
"I do."
421
00:17:21,277 --> 00:17:24,580
Okay, can I just say something
as your best man?
422
00:17:25,248 --> 00:17:26,532
Be careful.
423
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:27,816
What do you mean?
424
00:17:27,818 --> 00:17:29,668
You just... you haven't
been acting like a guy
425
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:31,987
who's about to get married,
and I know you think it's okay
426
00:17:31,989 --> 00:17:33,839
because Robin's so cool,
but I'm telling you,
427
00:17:33,841 --> 00:17:36,491
she's not as cool
as you think she is.
428
00:17:36,493 --> 00:17:39,111
Oh, I see.
429
00:17:39,113 --> 00:17:41,130
And you'd know this
430
00:17:41,132 --> 00:17:43,331
because you know Robin
better than I do.
431
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,835
You know what she appreciates
better than her own fiancé.
432
00:17:46,837 --> 00:17:47,836
I'm just saying,
433
00:17:47,838 --> 00:17:49,354
if I was getting married
in three weeks...
434
00:17:49,356 --> 00:17:51,023
But you're not getting married
in three weeks, Ted.
435
00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:52,307
I am.
436
00:17:52,309 --> 00:17:54,560
Robin's marrying me, not you.
437
00:17:56,396 --> 00:17:58,147
You're right.
438
00:17:58,149 --> 00:17:59,782
Not my place.
439
00:17:59,784 --> 00:18:01,817
Why don't I get the next round?
440
00:18:07,073 --> 00:18:10,993
So... how many times are you
gonna say no to your dream job?
441
00:18:10,995 --> 00:18:12,928
I'm just trying
to plan my day.
442
00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:15,130
I'm a scaredy-cat, okay?
443
00:18:15,132 --> 00:18:16,498
I want to be the type
444
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,533
of person that
just charges fearlessly
445
00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,169
into the unknown,
446
00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:22,471
but I came back
two weeks early from Paris
447
00:18:22,473 --> 00:18:24,006
because I was lonely.
448
00:18:24,008 --> 00:18:25,057
I went to San Francisco,
449
00:18:25,059 --> 00:18:29,211
and I was never more depressed
in my life.
450
00:18:30,313 --> 00:18:32,231
I'm small town, Marshall.
451
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:35,217
I'm a hick from Brooklyn
who's terrified of living
452
00:18:35,219 --> 00:18:38,854
more than ten subway stops
from where I was born.
453
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:42,074
Okay, Lily, if I can move
from St. Cloud, Minnesota,
454
00:18:42,076 --> 00:18:43,692
to New York City,
455
00:18:43,694 --> 00:18:45,727
then you can move to Rome.
456
00:18:45,729 --> 00:18:48,497
We know nothing about Italy.
457
00:18:48,499 --> 00:18:49,748
We have no friends there.
458
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,399
We don't speak the language.
459
00:18:55,538 --> 00:18:58,090
Okay, so you know
that one sentence.
460
00:18:58,092 --> 00:18:59,574
Can you say anything else?
461
00:19:06,132 --> 00:19:07,415
That-that was the same sentence.
462
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:09,751
You just changed the inflection.
463
00:19:49,809 --> 00:19:51,994
I love you, too.
464
00:19:51,996 --> 00:19:54,296
All right.
465
00:19:54,298 --> 00:19:55,430
We're going to Italy.
466
00:19:55,432 --> 00:19:57,316
Si!
467
00:19:58,434 --> 00:20:00,302
You may not know this yet,
but, um,
468
00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:02,821
I've already done some shopping.
469
00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:15,255
Welcome home.
470
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:21,466
Oh... You are so cool,
471
00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:25,362
but not for long.
472
00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:30,362
== sync, corrected by elderman ==