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00:00:02,079 --> 00:00:04,302
Kids, in the spring of 2013,
2
00:00:04,402 --> 00:00:07,153
we were all tying up loose ends
before the big wedding.
3
00:00:07,262 --> 00:00:08,928
I was right here
in this very room,
4
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:10,680
putting the finishing touches
on the house.
5
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:17,770
Oh, come on!
6
00:00:17,772 --> 00:00:20,073
Barney and Robin
were wrapping up rehearsal
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00:00:20,075 --> 00:00:21,007
for their first dance.
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00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:23,443
That was amazing.
We can do better.
9
00:00:23,445 --> 00:00:24,643
Back to one, everyone!
10
00:00:24,645 --> 00:00:28,014
Reload the cannons,
we'll go again right away.
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00:00:30,151 --> 00:00:31,501
And Lily and Marshall
were packing
12
00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:33,753
for their year in Italy.
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00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:36,923
Hello.
14
00:00:36,925 --> 00:00:38,841
How's my favorite
daughter-in-law?
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Oh, things are
16
00:00:39,878 --> 00:00:41,043
a bit crazy here.
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00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:43,012
We've got this big move to Rome
coming up,
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00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:44,714
and I, I just can't shake
the feeling
19
00:00:44,716 --> 00:00:46,966
that I'm forgetting something,
you know.
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00:00:46,968 --> 00:00:49,519
I know, I know,
I'm being crazy, right?
21
00:00:49,521 --> 00:00:51,270
Right, Judy?
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00:00:51,272 --> 00:00:52,355
Right,
Judy?
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You're moving to Rome?!
24
00:00:55,943 --> 00:00:57,009
Is that my mom?
25
00:00:57,011 --> 00:00:59,645
Don't mention Rome.
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00:01:00,609 --> 00:01:04,609
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x24 ♪
Something New
Original Air Date on May 13, 2013
27
00:01:04,634 --> 00:01:09,634
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
28
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You didn't tell
your mom about Rome?
29
00:01:15,807 --> 00:01:17,616
It didn't feel right.
30
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This isn't
over-the-phone news.
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00:01:19,169 --> 00:01:20,585
This is face-to-face news.
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00:01:20,587 --> 00:01:23,287
I was gonna tell her
when we see her at Christmas.
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00:01:23,289 --> 00:01:24,672
You were gonna wait and tell her
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00:01:24,674 --> 00:01:27,175
after we had already been living
there for six months?
35
00:01:27,177 --> 00:01:29,961
That... was a great plan.
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00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:31,095
Damn it.
37
00:01:33,048 --> 00:01:34,799
Hey, Mom, it's Marshall.
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00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:36,267
If you're moving to Rome,
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00:01:36,269 --> 00:01:40,471
I at least need to see
my grandson before you go!
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00:01:40,473 --> 00:01:42,890
Of course, and that is why
we would love
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00:01:42,892 --> 00:01:45,143
for you to come visit us
for a week.
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00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:47,195
No.
43
00:01:47,197 --> 00:01:48,896
The place will be all packed up.
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00:01:48,898 --> 00:01:51,682
Oh, oh, uh, okay, hey, Mom,
better idea:
45
00:01:51,684 --> 00:01:54,068
how about we all come visit you
for a week?
46
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,787
I can't go to Minnesota
for a week.
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00:01:55,789 --> 00:01:57,872
I have a job.
48
00:01:57,874 --> 00:02:00,525
Okay, Mom, here's the plan:
um, Lily has to work,
49
00:02:00,527 --> 00:02:04,028
so Marvin and I will come visit
you for a whole week,
50
00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,950
and I-I'll see if I can
get a last-minute flight.
51
00:02:06,799 --> 00:02:10,384
You are going to take
my infant son
52
00:02:10,386 --> 00:02:12,670
away from me for a whole week?
53
00:02:12,672 --> 00:02:15,673
Whoo!
54
00:02:15,675 --> 00:02:17,859
So, what do you want
to do tonight--
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00:02:17,861 --> 00:02:20,261
drink ourselves blind,
set a car on fire?
56
00:02:20,263 --> 00:02:22,814
Ooh, watch a movie
that doesn't start
57
00:02:22,816 --> 00:02:25,683
with a desk lamp jumping
on top of a capital "I"?
58
00:02:26,335 --> 00:02:27,935
I'm all yours, Teddy Westside.
59
00:02:27,937 --> 00:02:30,521
Actually, tonight
it's Teddy Westchester.
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00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:32,740
Got to head up to the house,
take care of some stuff.
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00:02:32,742 --> 00:02:35,109
Oh, yeah,
how's the restoration going?
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00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,778
Actually, done.
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00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:38,830
You finished the house?
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00:02:38,832 --> 00:02:40,615
Well, I want to see it.
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00:02:40,617 --> 00:02:42,166
Marshall already canceled
the cable, huh?
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00:02:42,168 --> 00:02:43,584
And the Wi-Fi.
It's like Little House
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00:02:43,586 --> 00:02:44,902
on the Freaking Prairie
up there.
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00:02:44,904 --> 00:02:46,120
Mm-hmm.
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00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:50,174
Well, the wedding
planning is done,
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00:02:50,176 --> 00:02:53,845
so tonight is all about relaxing
and celebrating
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00:02:53,847 --> 00:02:55,847
everything that makes us
awesome,
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which is why
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I requested our favorite table.
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00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:01,018
The one by the window.
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00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:04,438
Where we were sitting the night
we saw those two bums fighting.
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00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,190
Over a sandwich.
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00:03:08,778 --> 00:03:10,228
We almost called the cops.
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00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:12,647
And then we realized
they weren't fighting at all.
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00:03:12,649 --> 00:03:14,031
They were making love.
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00:03:14,868 --> 00:03:16,534
Over a sandwich.
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00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:18,870
Oh, I almost forgot.
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00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:21,455
Ha-ha, yeah.
No way, is that...?
83
00:03:21,457 --> 00:03:23,658
El Piramide.
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00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:26,244
The first cigar
we ever smoked together.
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00:03:26,246 --> 00:03:27,912
Aw, Barney.
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00:03:28,715 --> 00:03:30,381
Excuse me.
87
00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:31,448
Hi.
88
00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:33,017
Could you not?
Thanks.
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00:03:33,019 --> 00:03:34,135
Uh...
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00:03:34,137 --> 00:03:35,503
dude, I'm not gonna
light 'em up in here.
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00:03:35,505 --> 00:03:37,288
I'm just looking
at 'em.
92
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,257
Right, but even
when they're unlit,
93
00:03:39,259 --> 00:03:41,625
the smell-- it's very...
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00:03:41,627 --> 00:03:42,510
Pungent.
95
00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:44,562
Exactly--
thank you.
96
00:03:44,564 --> 00:03:47,982
It's a very pungent smell.
97
00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:50,401
So, could you not?
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00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:51,602
Thanks.
99
00:03:52,788 --> 00:03:55,273
Okay.
100
00:03:57,860 --> 00:04:02,029
I'm sorry, can you also
put the bag away?
101
00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:07,084
It-It's just really
unappetizing to look at.
102
00:04:07,086 --> 00:04:08,619
You're unappetizing to look at.
103
00:04:08,621 --> 00:04:11,155
You know what?
Um, I'll put them away, okay?
104
00:04:11,157 --> 00:04:12,290
Enjoy your night.
105
00:04:12,292 --> 00:04:14,709
We'll try.
106
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:17,995
Did those two just become
our archenemies?
107
00:04:17,997 --> 00:04:19,297
No, Robin, they've
always been
108
00:04:19,299 --> 00:04:20,348
our archenemies.
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00:04:20,350 --> 00:04:23,768
They've only just
revealed themselves.
110
00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:24,936
Hi, Kristen?
111
00:04:24,938 --> 00:04:26,887
Everyone pronounces it wrong.
112
00:04:26,889 --> 00:04:29,140
The "R" is
after the "I""
113
00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:30,057
Kirsten.
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00:04:30,059 --> 00:04:31,642
And before the "I""
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00:04:31,644 --> 00:04:34,562
It's Krirsten.
116
00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:36,097
Your table's ready.
117
00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:40,618
Wow, they're "trerrible""
118
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:41,569
You know what?
119
00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:43,204
Don't even think
about them, okay?
120
00:04:43,206 --> 00:04:45,539
Tonight is about celebrating us.
You're right, you're right.
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00:04:45,541 --> 00:04:48,242
- We shouldn't let a couple...
- Nope, nope.
122
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,827
I'm a self-diagnosed
claustrophobic.
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00:04:49,829 --> 00:04:52,046
I have to sit
next to the window.
124
00:04:52,048 --> 00:04:53,798
No, that's our table,
that's our table,
125
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,666
that's our table, that's our table,
that's our table,
126
00:04:55,668 --> 00:04:57,168
that's our table.
127
00:04:59,088 --> 00:05:00,471
You know what?
128
00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:02,390
Screw celebrating us.
You know what we're gonna do?
129
00:05:02,392 --> 00:05:05,542
Make those smug,
obnoxious sons of bitches pay.
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00:05:05,544 --> 00:05:06,877
Aw...
131
00:05:08,815 --> 00:05:11,148
So Aunt Lily and I drove up
to Westchester.
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00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:14,551
Hey, baby,
133
00:05:14,553 --> 00:05:15,436
how's Minnesota?
134
00:05:15,438 --> 00:05:17,154
It is so much fun.
135
00:05:17,156 --> 00:05:18,439
Oh, hold on one sec.
136
00:05:18,441 --> 00:05:21,575
Marshall, I made you this
welcome-home ice cream sundae.
137
00:05:21,577 --> 00:05:24,111
But I can't remember,
do you like crushed nuts?
138
00:05:24,113 --> 00:05:25,229
I love
139
00:05:25,231 --> 00:05:26,447
crushed nuts.
140
00:05:26,449 --> 00:05:27,999
Oh!
141
00:05:29,284 --> 00:05:32,436
Anyway, it's,
it's great to be home.
142
00:05:32,438 --> 00:05:33,788
How's Judy doing?
143
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:34,872
Oh, she's great.
144
00:05:34,874 --> 00:05:36,040
It's cute, you know,
she keeps joking
145
00:05:36,042 --> 00:05:37,908
about how she's not
gonna let us leave.
146
00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,410
I'm really not.
147
00:05:39,412 --> 00:05:40,911
It's not a joke.
148
00:05:46,135 --> 00:05:47,968
Judy's going to talk him
out of going to Rome.
149
00:05:47,970 --> 00:05:50,354
I knew something was going
to screw up our plans,
150
00:05:50,356 --> 00:05:51,689
and this is it.
151
00:05:51,691 --> 00:05:54,058
She is going to convince him
never to leave the country.
152
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,943
I think
you're imagining things.
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00:05:55,945 --> 00:05:59,196
Oh, yeah? Well, check out
what's already on Facebook.
154
00:05:59,198 --> 00:06:00,931
Inconclusive.
155
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:02,867
Oh, really?
156
00:06:04,736 --> 00:06:05,986
It's getting
conclusiver.
157
00:06:05,988 --> 00:06:06,937
Hey, Lily.
158
00:06:06,939 --> 00:06:09,240
What?
Come on.
159
00:06:09,242 --> 00:06:12,126
Okay, open 'em.
160
00:06:12,128 --> 00:06:14,745
Your eyes-- sorry,
they should have been closed.
161
00:06:14,747 --> 00:06:15,746
That one's on me.
162
00:06:15,748 --> 00:06:16,747
Let's try again.
163
00:06:16,749 --> 00:06:17,781
Wow.
164
00:06:17,783 --> 00:06:21,135
Ted, you did this
all yourself?
165
00:06:21,137 --> 00:06:24,305
Just like Ryan Gosling
in The Notebook.
166
00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:26,257
I was pretty manly
till I mentioned
167
00:06:26,259 --> 00:06:28,392
Ryan Gosling
in The Notebook, huh?
168
00:06:28,394 --> 00:06:29,977
Even I haven't seen it, Ted.
169
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:32,563
Just think, this is the house
170
00:06:32,565 --> 00:06:34,181
your kids are going
to grow up in.
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00:06:34,183 --> 00:06:37,318
They are going to
roast marshmallows
172
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,969
in this fireplace.
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00:06:38,971 --> 00:06:40,020
They're gonna
experiment
174
00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:42,189
with recreational drugs
175
00:06:42,191 --> 00:06:43,524
on that porch.
176
00:06:43,526 --> 00:06:44,775
They're gonna sit
on a couch right here
177
00:06:44,777 --> 00:06:46,494
and listen to your
boring stories about...
178
00:06:46,496 --> 00:06:49,697
"For sale" sign?
179
00:06:50,615 --> 00:06:52,283
Are you selling this place?
180
00:06:52,285 --> 00:06:54,452
Yeah.
181
00:06:54,454 --> 00:06:55,953
Why?
182
00:06:56,788 --> 00:07:00,925
Because I'm moving to Chicago.
183
00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:08,804
Ow.
184
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:10,352
So, what are
we gonna do--
185
00:07:10,354 --> 00:07:11,554
put something in their food,
186
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,572
key their car?
Ooh,
187
00:07:13,574 --> 00:07:15,274
do either
of those cigars explode?
188
00:07:15,276 --> 00:07:18,377
Hold on, Wile E. Coyote,
I think I got something.
189
00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:21,630
He's checking
out the hostess.
190
00:07:21,632 --> 00:07:25,100
Now, a guy who's happily in
a relationship sees a girl
191
00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:29,822
like that, he'll check her out
maybe 14, 15 times, tops.
192
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,374
16 times, tops.
193
00:07:32,376 --> 00:07:36,245
So Krirsten's more invested
in the relationship
194
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,380
than her fella is.
195
00:07:38,382 --> 00:07:40,165
That could spell trouble.
196
00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:42,134
Challenge accepted.
197
00:07:43,219 --> 00:07:45,287
Hey, do you think it's bad luck
for a bride
198
00:07:45,289 --> 00:07:48,257
to break up two strangers
a week before her wedding?
199
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:52,645
I'd say it's very bad luck...
for Krirsten.
200
00:07:57,767 --> 00:08:00,636
Ow, I hate this table so much!
201
00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:01,737
Why would you move
202
00:08:01,739 --> 00:08:03,355
to Chicago?
203
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,157
Because it's the perfect town
for me.
204
00:08:05,159 --> 00:08:07,276
I-It's like a Clevelandy
New York,
205
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,810
and-- don't act like
you haven't noticed--
206
00:08:08,812 --> 00:08:11,113
my hair excels in the wind.
207
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,164
Besides,
208
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,415
you're moving to Rome.
209
00:08:13,417 --> 00:08:16,001
Yeah, for a year,
a-and when we get back,
210
00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:18,170
we need you to be here waiting
for us,
211
00:08:18,172 --> 00:08:21,840
hopefully living in this house
with your future bride.
212
00:08:21,842 --> 00:08:24,043
Wha... what future bride?
213
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,094
The girl.
214
00:08:25,096 --> 00:08:26,111
She's out there
215
00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:28,130
walking around New York City
right now,
216
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,766
probably in a pair
of really cute boots
217
00:08:30,768 --> 00:08:32,668
that she's gonna let me borrow
whenever I want
218
00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:33,886
because we're the same size.
219
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,554
She is out there, Ted.
220
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,273
Is she, really?
Because I've looked.
221
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:39,308
I have looked high
222
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,560
and low for someone I can love
223
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,979
and adore and cook waffles for.
224
00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:45,531
The closest I've come is
Marshall.
225
00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:46,682
He does love your waffles.
226
00:08:46,684 --> 00:08:47,849
It's the
cinnamon.
227
00:08:47,851 --> 00:08:49,368
I add cinnamon.
228
00:08:50,203 --> 00:08:52,321
She's not in New York.
229
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,855
Maybe she's in Chicago.
230
00:08:53,857 --> 00:08:56,659
Okay, you are being ridiculous.
231
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,161
You are going to find someone
here in New York
232
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,246
that you love
just as much as I love Marshall.
233
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,631
And you,
234
00:09:02,633 --> 00:09:06,702
if you let Judy talk you out
of going to Italy, so help me,
235
00:09:06,704 --> 00:09:10,506
I will never let you stuff
my ravioli again.
236
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,257
I'm gonna take you
off speaker.
237
00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:13,542
Lily, you got to relax.
238
00:09:13,544 --> 00:09:16,595
Okay, my mom is psyched
about Italy.
239
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,063
She keeps making jokes
about how she's gonna
240
00:09:18,065 --> 00:09:21,767
come live with us in Rome
and sleep on the couch
241
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,068
and cook every meal for us
242
00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:25,070
so we never have to go
to a restaurant
243
00:09:25,072 --> 00:09:26,221
the whole year we're there.
244
00:09:26,223 --> 00:09:27,272
It's not a joke.
245
00:09:27,274 --> 00:09:28,240
By not saying no
246
00:09:28,242 --> 00:09:30,275
to me right now,
you are giving me
247
00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:32,528
your full consent
for that to happen.
248
00:09:37,401 --> 00:09:38,734
I got to go.
249
00:09:38,736 --> 00:09:40,902
"I'm probably saying
some political stuff
250
00:09:40,904 --> 00:09:42,171
right now to sound smart."
251
00:09:42,173 --> 00:09:44,707
"I'm probably referring
to some snooty podcast
252
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,592
to sound even smarter."
253
00:09:46,594 --> 00:09:48,127
"I'm probably saying
something in French."
254
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,344
Aah!
255
00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:50,345
My God...
256
00:09:50,347 --> 00:09:52,264
Ow.
257
00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:53,265
Okay,
258
00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:54,283
you want to break them up?
259
00:09:54,285 --> 00:09:55,467
I got a plan.
260
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,636
It's something I know has worked
in the past,
261
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,054
but it-it's, it's risky,
262
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,557
so it's, it's not too late
to call it off.
263
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,289
No way, I'm in.
264
00:10:02,314 --> 00:10:04,144
Good, 'cause it's too late
to call it off.
265
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,978
Observe.
266
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,196
And that is
why the senate
267
00:10:07,198 --> 00:10:08,697
can't push anything through.
268
00:10:08,699 --> 00:10:10,017
And Doug Mand said
the same thing in his podcast.
269
00:10:10,018 --> 00:10:12,724
It's like,
"Après moi le déluge!"
270
00:10:16,706 --> 00:10:18,774
Ooh.
271
00:10:18,776 --> 00:10:19,792
Oh, my gosh.
272
00:10:19,794 --> 00:10:21,326
Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.
273
00:10:21,328 --> 00:10:23,579
Yes, yes, yes.
274
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,713
Yes!
275
00:10:24,715 --> 00:10:25,464
What?
276
00:10:25,466 --> 00:10:26,782
Yes!
277
00:10:26,784 --> 00:10:27,949
I will marry you!
278
00:10:27,951 --> 00:10:29,501
Even though
a ring in a champagne glass
279
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,253
is a total cliché
and this is a cushion cut.
280
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:33,288
And how long have I been hinting
that I want a princess cut?
281
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:34,423
But yes!
282
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,974
That's a mistake.
That's not from me.
283
00:10:35,976 --> 00:10:37,959
It's not?
284
00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:41,230
We've only been together
seven years.
285
00:10:41,232 --> 00:10:44,149
Now it becomes clear.
Here we go.
286
00:10:44,151 --> 00:10:46,602
You want commitment the same way
you want my brother to work for you.
287
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,355
I'm sorry I didn't put an
engagement ring in your drink.
288
00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:52,641
The way you chug booze,
I'm surprised you even noticed.
289
00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:54,810
So, when are you leaving?
290
00:10:54,812 --> 00:10:56,278
Day after the wedding.
291
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,446
What?
292
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,615
You can't miss the day
after the wedding.
293
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,835
That's when we sit around
all hungover, drinking mimosas
294
00:11:02,837 --> 00:11:05,037
and talking smack
about who looked fat.
295
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,005
That's my Christmas.
296
00:11:07,007 --> 00:11:10,175
Why are you in such a rush
to get out of there?
297
00:11:11,578 --> 00:11:14,012
Oh.
298
00:11:14,014 --> 00:11:16,498
Of course.
299
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,600
You're not leaving
because you think
300
00:11:18,602 --> 00:11:20,769
the love of your life
isn't in New York.
301
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,938
You're leaving because
you think she is.
302
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,323
And this time next week,
303
00:11:24,325 --> 00:11:27,359
she'll be married
to your best friend.
304
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,813
Baby!
305
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,013
I am in the middle
306
00:11:32,015 --> 00:11:33,365
of something super
dramatic here.
307
00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:36,201
But real quick: If you let Judy
come to Rome with us,
308
00:11:36,203 --> 00:11:38,070
you are going to have
to find someone else
309
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,155
to do your laundry
and massage your feet.
310
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,292
Oh, my gosh, she's going to do
all that, won't she?
311
00:11:43,294 --> 00:11:45,210
Lily, you have to stop
freaking out.
312
00:11:45,212 --> 00:11:47,629
Nothing is going to screw up
the plan.
313
00:11:47,631 --> 00:11:49,114
We're doing this.
314
00:11:49,116 --> 00:11:50,549
I love you.
315
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,501
I love you, baby. Bye.
316
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,139
Hello?
317
00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:58,507
Hi. Marshall Eriksen?
318
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,593
I'm calling from the New York
State Judiciary Committee.
319
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:04,012
Uh, you applied for a judgeship
a few months ago, remember?
320
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,681
Uh, of... of course.
321
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,932
Well, I have good news.
322
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,101
We have a last-minute opening
on the bench.
323
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,153
What are you saying to me
right now?
324
00:12:11,155 --> 00:12:12,738
I'm saying congratulations.
325
00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:14,907
We want you to be a judge.
326
00:12:20,737 --> 00:12:22,494
So, you want me to be a judge?
Yes.
327
00:12:22,495 --> 00:12:24,627
And I would start a week from Tuesday?
Yes.
328
00:12:24,675 --> 00:12:26,463
Could I maybe start
a year from Tuesday?
329
00:12:26,488 --> 00:12:27,127
No.
330
00:12:27,128 --> 00:12:28,827
Got to be a week from Tuesday?
Yes.
331
00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:30,329
And I'd be a real judge?
Yes.
332
00:12:30,331 --> 00:12:31,363
With a robe?
Yes.
333
00:12:31,365 --> 00:12:32,331
Gavel?
Yes.
334
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,133
Wacky Southern accent?
No.
335
00:12:34,135 --> 00:12:35,401
Now, counselor,
336
00:12:35,403 --> 00:12:36,552
are you absolutely sure?
337
00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:37,054
Yes.
338
00:12:37,063 --> 00:12:38,371
And I have to be
in New York for this?
339
00:12:38,372 --> 00:12:39,855
Yes.
I can't telecommute?
340
00:12:39,857 --> 00:12:40,363
No.
341
00:12:40,388 --> 00:12:42,141
I couldn't be the crazy
speakerphone judge?
342
00:12:42,142 --> 00:12:43,975
No.
Could I be a hologram?
343
00:12:43,977 --> 00:12:45,577
No.
Animatronic robot
344
00:12:45,579 --> 00:12:47,663
like Abe Lincoln
from the Hall of Presidents
345
00:12:47,665 --> 00:12:49,514
that I control from afar
with a joystick?
346
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:50,450
No.
347
00:12:50,451 --> 00:12:52,785
Do you remember the giant
Jor-El head from Superman?
348
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:54,086
Yes.
Well, what if I...?
349
00:12:54,088 --> 00:12:55,671
No.
Is there any way
350
00:12:55,673 --> 00:12:57,339
that I could do this
351
00:12:57,341 --> 00:13:00,342
and also spend
the next year of my life
352
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,227
in Italy with my wife?
No.
353
00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:04,296
This is such a big decision.
354
00:13:04,298 --> 00:13:06,515
I-I'm not good at big decisions.
355
00:13:06,517 --> 00:13:09,301
Are you sure you want
to be a judge?
356
00:13:10,670 --> 00:13:14,022
Wow. Now that we've broken up
a seven-year relationship
357
00:13:14,024 --> 00:13:15,724
just 'cause they
stole our table,
358
00:13:15,726 --> 00:13:17,609
I feel kind of...
Awesome?
359
00:13:17,611 --> 00:13:20,195
I was going to say horny,
but yeah, awesome, too.
360
00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:23,449
No way.
361
00:13:23,451 --> 00:13:24,867
Are you kidding me?
What?
362
00:13:24,869 --> 00:13:26,068
Whoa. Is there
going to be a fight?
363
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:27,319
Okay, here's the play.
364
00:13:27,321 --> 00:13:29,288
You take the girl, and
the guy and I will watch.
365
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:31,857
Hello. Just the people
we want to see.
366
00:13:31,859 --> 00:13:35,527
We got in a pretty big fight
because of you guys.
367
00:13:35,529 --> 00:13:37,296
We had to call our
therapists after hours.
368
00:13:37,298 --> 00:13:39,298
Not cool.
369
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,133
Anyway, it got us
to where we are now.
370
00:13:41,135 --> 00:13:42,584
We're getting married!
371
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:44,670
And I'm taking
her last name.
372
00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:46,255
You should think
about doing the same thing.
373
00:13:46,257 --> 00:13:47,973
Well, good night.
Good night.
374
00:13:47,975 --> 00:13:49,675
Good night.
Congratulations.
375
00:13:49,677 --> 00:13:52,010
Yes, definitely.
376
00:13:52,012 --> 00:13:54,229
That was us.
377
00:13:54,231 --> 00:13:57,099
We made that happen.
378
00:13:57,101 --> 00:13:59,017
We're pretty cool.
379
00:13:59,019 --> 00:14:01,353
And, you know,
a week from today,
380
00:14:01,355 --> 00:14:04,690
we are going to be legend...
wait for it...
381
00:14:04,692 --> 00:14:05,741
Married.
382
00:14:05,743 --> 00:14:07,676
Legend-married.
Legend-married.
383
00:14:09,864 --> 00:14:13,115
Robin Scherbatsky,
I love you so damn much.
384
00:14:13,117 --> 00:14:15,701
I love you, too,
Barney Scherbatsky.
385
00:14:15,703 --> 00:14:17,369
That sounds good.
386
00:14:17,371 --> 00:14:18,921
Shh.
Think about it.
387
00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:20,422
They're happy.
388
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,341
And I'm happy for them.
389
00:14:22,343 --> 00:14:24,793
I want them to have an amazing
life together. I just...
390
00:14:24,795 --> 00:14:26,845
I just think it would
be best for everyone
391
00:14:26,847 --> 00:14:28,130
if I wasn't around for it.
392
00:14:28,132 --> 00:14:32,050
Did something happen recently
between you and Robin?
393
00:14:32,052 --> 00:14:33,635
No.
394
00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:35,337
Where's the poop, Ted?
395
00:14:37,256 --> 00:14:39,441
She called me up the other day.
396
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,259
She was trying
to dig up this locket
397
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:43,195
she had buried behind
the Central Park Carousel,
398
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:46,264
and I blew off that
big interview to go help her.
399
00:14:46,266 --> 00:14:50,285
And then... it started raining.
400
00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:55,407
I'll, uh...
401
00:14:55,409 --> 00:14:56,625
I'll see you
at the wedding.
402
00:14:56,627 --> 00:14:58,276
Yeah.
403
00:14:58,278 --> 00:15:00,295
Even now,
after all these years,
404
00:15:00,297 --> 00:15:02,631
there's still just
this part of me where,
405
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:04,249
if there's even
the slightest chance
406
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,117
something I do
could make Robin smile,
407
00:15:06,119 --> 00:15:09,221
I don't even think about it--
I just do it.
408
00:15:09,223 --> 00:15:10,472
I mean, if I could make
409
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,391
that locket magically appear,
I would.
410
00:15:12,393 --> 00:15:14,459
I would open a vein in my arm
411
00:15:14,461 --> 00:15:16,645
if I could bleed
that locket out,
412
00:15:16,647 --> 00:15:18,814
just to make her happy.
413
00:15:19,899 --> 00:15:23,101
That's just
a really sucky way to feel
414
00:15:23,103 --> 00:15:25,470
about your best friend's
fiancée.
415
00:15:27,139 --> 00:15:30,409
So I'm going to come
to the wedding,
416
00:15:30,411 --> 00:15:33,362
you know, I'll have a good time,
but after that, I...
417
00:15:34,264 --> 00:15:35,564
What?
418
00:15:36,616 --> 00:15:39,835
I know where the locket is.
419
00:15:39,837 --> 00:15:41,420
What?
420
00:15:41,422 --> 00:15:43,538
I know where the locket is.
421
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,457
It-it was a few years ago,
422
00:15:45,459 --> 00:15:47,125
right before you were
supposed to marry Stella.
423
00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:48,794
I went down to the bar
one night
424
00:15:48,796 --> 00:15:50,712
to get a drink,
and what should I see?
425
00:15:50,714 --> 00:15:51,847
Lily!
426
00:15:51,849 --> 00:15:53,682
Hey, girl.
427
00:15:53,684 --> 00:15:55,567
I got a question for you.
428
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:59,170
Why isn't Ted marrying me?
429
00:15:59,172 --> 00:16:00,439
Whoa...
430
00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:02,441
I'm sorry. Oh, God.
431
00:16:02,443 --> 00:16:03,942
I'm sorry.
432
00:16:03,944 --> 00:16:07,312
I just... I-I should
be happy for him,
433
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:09,347
and yet here I am,
434
00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:13,068
moving off to Japan just
to get away from him.
435
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:15,153
And-and I guess
to see those...
436
00:16:15,155 --> 00:16:18,040
those terra-cotta warriors
and the Great Wall.
437
00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:19,625
Well, that's China.
438
00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:20,859
What? This?
439
00:16:20,861 --> 00:16:22,294
No, it's just a paper plate.
440
00:16:24,248 --> 00:16:25,714
Uh, we should
get out of here.
441
00:16:25,716 --> 00:16:26,965
Come on. Come on.
Oh, totally.
442
00:16:26,967 --> 00:16:29,635
I know just where we should go.
443
00:16:32,221 --> 00:16:34,089
Man, you're fast
when you're drunk.
444
00:16:34,091 --> 00:16:37,092
But at least you're still
making good decisions.
445
00:16:37,094 --> 00:16:38,810
Central Park,
around midnight,
446
00:16:38,812 --> 00:16:40,762
digging a hole
with a spoon.
447
00:16:40,764 --> 00:16:41,930
Solid.
448
00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:44,149
Jackpot.
449
00:16:44,151 --> 00:16:45,183
What is that?
450
00:16:45,185 --> 00:16:47,936
My something old.
451
00:16:51,024 --> 00:16:53,775
This locket was my grandma's.
452
00:16:53,777 --> 00:16:57,729
She kept it hidden in her butt
all through World War II.
453
00:16:57,731 --> 00:16:58,930
What? Where was she?
454
00:16:58,932 --> 00:17:01,583
Winnipeg.
455
00:17:02,786 --> 00:17:03,919
Oh, come on.
456
00:17:03,921 --> 00:17:06,204
Lily, it's a joke.
457
00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:08,206
Yeah, I was
going to wear this
458
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,341
when I married Ted.
459
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:10,876
I guess that's not
going to happen.
460
00:17:10,878 --> 00:17:14,262
So I am taking it
with me to Japan.
461
00:17:14,264 --> 00:17:17,849
Okay, Lily, help me put
this locket in my butt.
462
00:17:17,851 --> 00:17:19,634
Okay. Uh, you know what?
463
00:17:19,636 --> 00:17:23,922
Why don't we put it
in this pencil box instead?
464
00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:27,859
Oh, and then I will take the
pencil box with me to Japan.
465
00:17:27,861 --> 00:17:30,645
Okay. Hey, Lily?
466
00:17:30,647 --> 00:17:33,865
Help me put this
pencil box in my butt.
467
00:17:36,569 --> 00:17:38,153
Wait!
468
00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:40,655
There's one other thing
I have to do.
469
00:17:40,657 --> 00:17:42,491
Lily, it's very important.
470
00:17:42,493 --> 00:17:44,960
It's something
that needs to happen
471
00:17:44,962 --> 00:17:47,295
right now.
Yeah?
472
00:17:47,297 --> 00:17:48,830
Then she barfed in my face.
473
00:17:48,832 --> 00:17:50,132
It was a lovely night.
474
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:53,885
Wait. You put the locket
in the race car pencil box?
475
00:17:53,887 --> 00:17:56,888
Yep. And then Robin
took it to Japan.
476
00:17:56,890 --> 00:17:59,224
No, she didn't.
477
00:17:59,226 --> 00:18:04,295
It's sitting on my desk
at home right now.
478
00:18:04,297 --> 00:18:06,481
It's been with me all along.
479
00:18:06,483 --> 00:18:09,351
Ted.
The locket is in the pencil box.
480
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:11,136
This is awesome.
481
00:18:11,138 --> 00:18:12,437
Ted.
482
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:13,939
No, I just... I just mean,
483
00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:16,491
this is going to be
the best wedding gift ever.
484
00:18:16,493 --> 00:18:18,827
It's going to blow her mind.
485
00:18:18,829 --> 00:18:20,028
Ted.
486
00:18:20,913 --> 00:18:23,615
Be careful.
487
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,985
♪
488
00:18:33,176 --> 00:18:36,828
♪ Well, this is just
a simple song ♪
489
00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:41,099
♪ To say what you've done
490
00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:45,270
♪ I told you
about all those fears ♪
491
00:18:45,272 --> 00:18:47,689
♪ And away they did run
492
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:51,643
♪ You sure must be strong
493
00:18:53,179 --> 00:18:55,313
♪ And you feel like an ocean
494
00:18:55,315 --> 00:18:57,699
♪ Being warmed by the sun...
495
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:58,950
Come on, we got to go.
496
00:18:58,952 --> 00:19:00,318
Wait. What am I forgetting?
497
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,071
Nothing. You're not
forgetting anything. Let's go.
498
00:19:03,073 --> 00:19:04,322
Oh, wait,
I'm forgetting something.
499
00:19:04,324 --> 00:19:05,707
What?
500
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:08,693
♪ I swear that I dreamt
501
00:19:08,695 --> 00:19:10,195
Let's go get married.
Yeah.
502
00:19:10,197 --> 00:19:14,382
♪ Your face on a football field
and a kiss... ♪
503
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:15,750
Bottle for Marvin
during takeoff.
504
00:19:15,752 --> 00:19:16,718
Got it, baby.
505
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,036
And hey, just think,
506
00:19:18,038 --> 00:19:19,871
one week from right now...
507
00:19:19,873 --> 00:19:20,922
We'll be in Italy.
508
00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:22,674
We'll be in Italy.
509
00:19:22,676 --> 00:19:24,643
Okay, um, I-I got to go, baby.
510
00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:27,145
Um, I love you.
511
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:29,181
You still haven't told her.
512
00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:30,882
No.
513
00:19:30,884 --> 00:19:33,101
This is face-to-face news.
514
00:19:33,103 --> 00:19:34,970
Good luck with that...
515
00:19:34,972 --> 00:19:36,771
Your Honor.
516
00:19:36,773 --> 00:19:41,526
♪ Don't go thinking
you gotta be tough ♪
517
00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:43,028
♪ To bleed like a stone
518
00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:44,729
Hello.
519
00:19:44,731 --> 00:19:48,250
♪ Could be there's
nothing else... ♪
520
00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:50,035
You want me to grab your bag?
Yeah. Thanks.
521
00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:56,958
Hey, I don't want to draw
focus from the wedding, so...
522
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,010
don't tell anyone
about Chicago.
523
00:19:59,012 --> 00:20:01,746
It's a major city
with a bunch of sports teams
524
00:20:01,748 --> 00:20:03,098
and some pretty good pizza.
525
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,966
I think people know
about Chicago.
526
00:20:06,719 --> 00:20:08,720
What time do you
leave on Monday?
527
00:20:08,722 --> 00:20:10,021
Early.
528
00:20:10,023 --> 00:20:12,557
Gonna have to head back
to the city Sunday night.
529
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,059
How are you
going to get back?
530
00:20:14,894 --> 00:20:17,112
Guess I'll take the train.
531
00:20:25,955 --> 00:20:29,440
♪ Remember walking
a mile to your house ♪
532
00:20:29,442 --> 00:20:32,177
♪ A glow in the dark
533
00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:37,448
♪ I made a fumbling play
for your heart ♪
534
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:40,285
♪ And the act struck a spark
535
00:20:42,054 --> 00:20:44,122
♪ You wore a charm
on the chain ♪
536
00:20:44,124 --> 00:20:47,792
♪ That I stole
especial for you ♪
537
00:20:49,345 --> 00:20:53,431
♪ Love's such a delicate thing
that we do ♪
538
00:20:53,433 --> 00:20:56,134
♪ With nothing to prove
539
00:20:57,687 --> 00:21:02,157
♪ Which I never knew.
540
00:21:03,571 --> 00:21:05,854
Hi. One ticket
to Farhampton, please.
541
00:21:05,856 --> 00:21:10,856
== sync, corrected by elderman ==