1 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,057 You're my best friend, Barney. 2 00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:09,025 Good. Then, as your best friend, 3 00:00:09,027 --> 00:00:10,960 I suggest we play a game I like to call 4 00:00:10,962 --> 00:00:12,361 Have You Met Ted? 5 00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:13,663 What? Oh, my God. 6 00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,231 I'm so stupid. 7 00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:16,299 Stay there. I'm on my way. 8 00:00:16,301 --> 00:00:17,784 ♪ Say, man 9 00:00:17,786 --> 00:00:19,869 ♪ Don't walk ahead of that woman ♪ 10 00:00:19,871 --> 00:00:22,071 ♪ Like she don't belong to you ♪ 11 00:00:22,073 --> 00:00:24,957 ♪ Just 'cause her got them little skinny legs ♪ 12 00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:27,543 ♪ You know that ain't no way to do ♪ 13 00:00:27,545 --> 00:00:30,279 ♪ You didn't act like that when you had it home ♪ 14 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,748 ♪ Behind closed doors 15 00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,884 ♪ All right 16 00:00:34,886 --> 00:00:38,221 ♪ Now you act like you're ashamed at a woman ♪ 17 00:00:38,223 --> 00:00:41,290 ♪ Don't even want nobody to know she's yours ♪ 18 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,558 ♪ But that's all right ♪ 19 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:49,215 ♪ You just walk on, baby 20 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,883 Excuse me. Pardon me. 21 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,653 ♪ Because there's some man somewhere who'll take you ♪ 22 00:00:53,655 --> 00:00:55,855 ♪ Baby, skinny legs and all 23 00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:57,640 I am so, so sorry. 24 00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:59,642 I went to the one on the West Side. 25 00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:01,628 I was beginning to think that you'd forgotten about me. 26 00:01:02,256 --> 00:01:06,256 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x16 ♪ How Your Mother Met Me Original Air Date on January 27, 2014 27 00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:11,281 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 28 00:01:15,259 --> 00:01:18,211 Kids, the night your Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall got engaged, 29 00:01:18,213 --> 00:01:20,796 the night I met Aunt Robin, was the night of your mom's 30 00:01:20,798 --> 00:01:23,099 21st birthday. Happy birthday. 31 00:01:23,101 --> 00:01:25,501 W-Where's Max? He couldn't get a cab. 32 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,687 Which is code for "waited until the last minute 33 00:01:27,689 --> 00:01:29,171 to get me a birthday gift." 34 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,139 Although... 35 00:01:30,141 --> 00:01:31,357 he always nails it. 36 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,442 Two years ago, he got me an exact replica 37 00:01:33,444 --> 00:01:35,027 of the Pee-wee's Big Adventure bike. 38 00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:37,864 And last year, he got me a one-man band suit 39 00:01:37,866 --> 00:01:39,815 including knee cymbals. 40 00:01:39,817 --> 00:01:41,567 And these are things you want? 41 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,369 No, these are things I need. 42 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,537 Oh, that's Max. 43 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,872 Uh... I got to take this. 44 00:01:45,874 --> 00:01:48,040 Okay. 45 00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:51,961 Okay, you're officially super late now... 46 00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:58,751 Yes, this is she. 47 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,375 Okay, this is ridiculous. 48 00:02:39,377 --> 00:02:41,827 You've been sitting around for two years. 49 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,262 It's time to get back out there. 50 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,965 I have not been sitting around. I have been hard at work. 51 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:47,783 I think I'm about to enter my 52 00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:50,970 "Robots Doing Track and Field Events" period. 53 00:02:50,972 --> 00:02:52,054 It's a very exciting time. 54 00:02:53,057 --> 00:02:55,074 Sweetie. 55 00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,359 I love you. 56 00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:58,144 And I can't imagine what it was like 57 00:02:58,146 --> 00:02:59,695 going through what you went through. 58 00:02:59,697 --> 00:03:01,714 But these are your 20s. 59 00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,432 It's St. Patrick's Day. 60 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,767 The holiday of my people. 61 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,936 You're not Irish. Binge drinkers. 62 00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,020 Now, let's go. 63 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,772 No, please don't make me go out there. 64 00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:10,790 It's gonna rain. 65 00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,825 Bring your umbrella. 66 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,999 How is the bathroom line this long and yet the floor 67 00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:21,784 is covered with urine? If there's urine out here, 68 00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:23,753 what in God's name is going on in there? 69 00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:25,888 Screw this, we're holding it. Let's go dance. 70 00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:26,889 No, thanks. 71 00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:29,091 This is what I'm talking about. 72 00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:31,460 The love of your life could be on that dance floor, 73 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,679 waiting for you to bump into him. 74 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,148 If you're not there, he's just gonna bump into someone else. 75 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,434 Somehow I doubt it. 76 00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:40,019 Oh, I'm sorry. 77 00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:41,420 No, that's okay. 78 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,805 I'm going in. 79 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,607 Wait, is that... 80 00:03:44,609 --> 00:03:45,808 Mitch. 81 00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,327 No way. Hi. 82 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,079 What are you doing in New York? 83 00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:51,146 I live here. What? 84 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,498 Uh, this is my friend, Kelly. 85 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,666 Hey. Hi. 86 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,584 Mitch was my instructor at orchestra camp. 87 00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:56,669 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Orchestra camp. 88 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:57,787 It's not as lame as it sounds. 89 00:03:57,789 --> 00:03:59,588 We also did physics, so... Right. 90 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:02,208 So, Mitch, what are you up to these days? 91 00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:03,342 I'm still teaching orchestra. 92 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,211 I'm at this public school up in the Bronx. 93 00:04:05,213 --> 00:04:06,429 It's totally underfunded, 94 00:04:06,431 --> 00:04:07,830 a lot of the kids can't afford instruments, 95 00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:09,598 but I really... Take my cello. 96 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,766 What? Yeah. 97 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:12,051 Oh, yeah, you gotta take it. 98 00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:13,135 I haven't played it in years. 99 00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:14,169 It's just sitting in my closet. 100 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,170 Give it to one of the kids! 101 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,305 Wow, are you sure? 102 00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:17,473 Do you want to come and get it right now? 103 00:04:17,475 --> 00:04:19,058 Um... okay. 104 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,894 Okay, great. Let's go. 105 00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:25,314 Okay, yes, you're doing something nice. 106 00:04:25,316 --> 00:04:26,849 But you're still bailing on me. 107 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:29,985 So I guess, karmically... it evens out? 108 00:04:29,987 --> 00:04:31,737 I'm just worried about you. 109 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:32,988 Don't be. 110 00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:33,989 Have fun. 111 00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,374 And who knows? 112 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,693 Maybe you'll bump into someone tonight. 113 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,495 Oh... 114 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:45,468 Girl, I will sham-rock your world. 115 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,221 Okay... 116 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,674 I'll... 117 00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:52,758 We'll... 118 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,894 Okay. 119 00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:57,012 Okay, here it is. 120 00:04:57,014 --> 00:04:58,898 I haven't played this 121 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:01,333 since the popular girls locked me inside the case. 122 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:04,270 Although it was roomier than when I played the violin... 123 00:05:04,272 --> 00:05:05,821 What are you doing?! 124 00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,189 I don't know. 125 00:05:07,191 --> 00:05:08,223 What am I doing? 126 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,442 I don't know! What are you doing?! 127 00:05:09,444 --> 00:05:10,443 This is my thing... 128 00:05:10,445 --> 00:05:11,894 It most certainly is your thing. 129 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:12,862 Now, please cover your thing up. 130 00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,196 Sorry. 131 00:05:14,198 --> 00:05:15,164 I-I meant... 132 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:16,899 this move. 133 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,017 It's my thing. 134 00:05:18,668 --> 00:05:19,919 I call it "The Naked Man." 135 00:05:19,921 --> 00:05:20,953 A few weeks ago, 136 00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:22,872 I was on a date, and it worked. 137 00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:24,957 And then I was on another date and it worked again, 138 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,592 so I figured it would work all the time. 139 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,127 Well, now you know it doesn't work all the time. 140 00:05:28,129 --> 00:05:29,912 Yeah. 141 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:31,997 Although two out of three... 142 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,100 Is this what it's gonna be like? 143 00:05:34,102 --> 00:05:36,752 Being single in New York? 144 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:39,388 Even the nice guys turn out to be total creeps? 145 00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:43,192 I have gotten pretty creepy since I moved here. 146 00:05:43,194 --> 00:05:46,428 I feel so lost right now. 147 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,430 I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. 148 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,233 Can I tell you an embarrassing story? 149 00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:52,485 Is it this one? 150 00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:53,819 Taking place right now? 151 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,738 I felt lost 152 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,740 for a long time, too. 153 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:01,393 I was living in my parents' basement. 154 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,963 Playing video games, mastur... 155 00:06:03,965 --> 00:06:05,714 ing those games, 156 00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:06,849 until 157 00:06:06,851 --> 00:06:08,217 I finally woke up 158 00:06:08,219 --> 00:06:11,137 and realized I wanted to follow my dream 159 00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,671 of teaching music. 160 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,475 Let me save you a few years. 161 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,228 Even if it sound completely crazy... 162 00:06:19,230 --> 00:06:21,430 what is it you want to do with your life? 163 00:06:21,432 --> 00:06:24,967 I want to end poverty. 164 00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,402 Great. 165 00:06:26,404 --> 00:06:28,971 Then every decision you make from here on out 166 00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:31,290 should be in service of that. 167 00:06:32,409 --> 00:06:33,409 Wow. 168 00:06:33,411 --> 00:06:35,161 Thanks. 169 00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:36,579 You know, for a minute there, 170 00:06:36,581 --> 00:06:37,947 I totally forgot you were naked. 171 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,000 In a way... 172 00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:42,751 aren't we all naked? 173 00:06:42,753 --> 00:06:45,037 Yeah, but your balls are on my couch. 174 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,841 Hug? I will take a rain check. 175 00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,092 It's raining now. 176 00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:52,294 Oh, my umbrella! Oh! Uh... 177 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,547 I will be right back. 178 00:06:54,549 --> 00:06:55,764 Um... long story. 179 00:06:57,435 --> 00:06:59,185 Nothing happened, I swear. 180 00:06:59,187 --> 00:07:00,819 Then why are you naked? 181 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:04,356 Oh, what the hell? 182 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:08,060 When I got to the club, it had already closed. 183 00:07:08,062 --> 00:07:09,678 By the next day, some super inconsiderate 184 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,564 person had taken my umbrella. 185 00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:14,233 But by that point, I didn't care. 186 00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:16,368 I knew that if I really wanted to end poverty, 187 00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:19,488 I had to get a degree in economics. 188 00:07:19,490 --> 00:07:21,240 So... 189 00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:22,541 to answer your question, 190 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,076 that's how I got here. 191 00:07:24,078 --> 00:07:27,029 I meant, how did you get here from the subway station? 192 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:27,599 Oh. 193 00:07:27,624 --> 00:07:29,662 But I'm only asking 'cause I just moved to town. 194 00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,200 I don't even have a place to live yet. 195 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,802 Yeah, you do. 196 00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:34,887 Come live with me. 197 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,255 My roommate just moved out. 198 00:07:36,257 --> 00:07:37,506 Are you sure? 199 00:07:37,508 --> 00:07:38,474 You just met me. 200 00:07:38,476 --> 00:07:39,975 I could be a serial killer. 201 00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:41,977 I like to believe in people. 202 00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:45,631 Plus, what are the chances that we're both serial killers? 203 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,017 Just promise me there won't be 204 00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:49,401 any naked men in the living room. 205 00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:50,686 Not a problem. 206 00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:54,023 I'm on permanent hiatus in the love department. 207 00:07:54,025 --> 00:07:55,024 Really? 208 00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,325 I find that hard to believe. 209 00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:57,726 I guess I'm old-fashioned. 210 00:07:57,728 --> 00:08:00,863 I believe that each of us only gets one. 211 00:08:00,865 --> 00:08:03,616 And I got mine already. 212 00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:04,917 Well, if you ask me, 213 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:07,036 you know what comes after the one? 214 00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:08,070 The next one. 215 00:08:08,072 --> 00:08:09,421 Oh, yeah. 216 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,457 Well, I don't really see that happening 217 00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:13,876 any time soon. 218 00:08:13,878 --> 00:08:15,177 Hi. 219 00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:16,512 Is this room seven? 220 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,918 And so, if you must bring food to this class, 221 00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,970 please bring enough for everyone. 222 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,905 I don't want to see someone 223 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,141 eating, say, lobster, in the front row 224 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,460 without sharing with the rest of of us. 225 00:08:32,462 --> 00:08:33,927 Because that... 226 00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:37,031 would be shellfish. 227 00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:43,370 Come on, that was funny. 228 00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:45,322 Anyway... ...this is Architecture 101. 229 00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,657 Architecture 101? 230 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,726 Oh, no, I'm in the wrong class! I have to go! 231 00:08:50,562 --> 00:08:52,329 Oh, sorry. 232 00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:53,380 Um... 233 00:08:53,382 --> 00:08:54,782 Oh, God. 234 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,150 Wait, I was in the right class. 235 00:08:56,152 --> 00:08:58,752 First day as a professor, wrong classroom, coming through! 236 00:09:02,224 --> 00:09:04,175 You play bass? 237 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,893 Seriously, ask my friends. 238 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:06,894 I always say 239 00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,179 my ideal woman... 240 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,130 ...does not play bass, 241 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,349 because this is clearly your roommate's. 242 00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:13,517 She's in a band. 243 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:14,968 Damn, that's cool. 244 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:16,237 This is unbelievable. 245 00:09:16,239 --> 00:09:18,239 You just picked out the only three things in here 246 00:09:18,241 --> 00:09:19,490 that are my roommate's. 247 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,525 So does your roommate's band ever play shows or... 248 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,411 Get out. All right. 249 00:09:46,017 --> 00:09:48,001 Okay, this is crazy. 250 00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:49,587 Do you know where this umbrella came from? 251 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,971 Because I could've sworn that I... 252 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:53,324 What's wrong? 253 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,475 Are you okay? 254 00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:55,860 We broke up. 255 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,479 Oh... well, I never liked him, 256 00:09:58,481 --> 00:10:01,115 and I never thought he deserved you, and... 257 00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:03,183 I am sorry, I didn't know you were dating someone. 258 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,118 Who was this? 259 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,654 He was the architecture professor. 260 00:10:06,656 --> 00:10:09,356 The one who taught Econ 305 by accident. 261 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,857 Oh. 262 00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,159 That guy? 263 00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:13,711 Why did you break up? 264 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,246 He's got a thing for you. 265 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,530 What? 266 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:17,698 Yeah, what? 267 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,032 He's... what? 268 00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:21,418 How... um, how could he have a thing for me? 269 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,720 He's never even met me. 270 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,037 He didn't have to. 271 00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:26,340 Everything he saw of yours, he went crazy for. 272 00:10:26,342 --> 00:10:28,509 You should've brought him to my room. 273 00:10:28,511 --> 00:10:30,311 Okay? He would've run screaming 274 00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,929 once he saw my calligraphy set, 275 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,097 my coin collection, 276 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:36,066 my chain-mail corset from the Renaissance Faire. 277 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,018 Well, that's pretty cool. 278 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,103 Come on. 279 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,821 How could he not be in love with you? 280 00:10:40,823 --> 00:10:42,889 The way you fall asleep on the couch 281 00:10:42,891 --> 00:10:44,024 when you're doing the crossword. 282 00:10:44,026 --> 00:10:45,659 When did he see me fall asleep on... 283 00:10:45,661 --> 00:10:47,060 The way your hair smells. 284 00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:49,797 The way your eyes sparkle. 285 00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,738 I might have some stuff to figure out. 286 00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,374 You might. I'm so sorry! 287 00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:02,293 No, uh, it's okay. 288 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,744 It was nice. 289 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,047 I haven't been kissed in a really long time. 290 00:11:07,049 --> 00:11:09,967 Not long after that, she met a nice girl 291 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,852 and they fell in love, 292 00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:14,855 so it's a happy ending-- for Cindy anyway. 293 00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:17,358 I, however, am left without a roommate, 294 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,560 so here we are. 295 00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:22,229 I have a confession. 296 00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:24,531 Uh, I don't need a place to live. 297 00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:26,817 I saw your ad for the roommate, and I just... 298 00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,619 I-I really wanted to meet you. 299 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:32,706 I-I'm a huge fan of your band SuperFreakonomics. 300 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,291 Oh, my gosh, really? 301 00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,126 Really, come I to all your shows, 302 00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,462 and I'm not just saying this-- I think you guys are 303 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:41,948 the best economic-themed band in the entire city. 304 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:44,084 Even better than Radiohedge Fund? 305 00:11:44,086 --> 00:11:45,336 Oh, absolutely. 306 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,772 I wish I had the guts to do what you do. 307 00:11:49,424 --> 00:11:53,477 I love to sing, but... 308 00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,262 You know what? 309 00:11:55,264 --> 00:11:58,965 Next time we do a show, you have got to come up onstage with us 310 00:11:58,967 --> 00:11:59,933 and sing a song. 311 00:11:59,935 --> 00:12:01,852 Oh, no, I couldn't. Mm-hmm. 312 00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,638 No, I'm, I'm, I'm too shy. 313 00:12:05,774 --> 00:12:08,642 ♪ But maybe just one song! 314 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,477 ♪ Yeah! 315 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:14,615 I mean, I don't like to think of SuperFreakonomics as my band. 316 00:12:14,617 --> 00:12:16,583 I think of it as my canvas 317 00:12:16,585 --> 00:12:19,486 upon which I paint my masterpieces. 318 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,374 And that right there is why I don't play bass. 319 00:12:27,161 --> 00:12:28,929 Can I help you with that? 320 00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:32,800 Uh, wow, thanks, Superman. 321 00:12:32,802 --> 00:12:34,768 No problem. 322 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:35,669 It's either help you 323 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,388 or stop a train from going off a cliff, 324 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,772 and you're much cuter. 325 00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:41,007 Can I buy you a drink? 326 00:12:41,009 --> 00:12:43,494 Oh, no, sorry, I'm 16. 327 00:12:44,362 --> 00:12:47,314 Oh, wow, sorry. 328 00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:48,515 Have a good night. 329 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:49,950 Wait, you believe that? 330 00:12:50,618 --> 00:12:51,819 I like you. 331 00:12:51,821 --> 00:12:54,321 Uh, sure, you can buy me a drink. 332 00:12:54,323 --> 00:12:55,889 MacLaren's. 333 00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:56,840 The last time I was here, 334 00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,675 I thought this place was called Puzzles. 335 00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,077 That's an odd name. 336 00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,962 Why would you call a bar Puzzles? 337 00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,715 Unless that's the puzzle. 338 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,916 Well, um, 339 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,469 thank you for the drink. 340 00:13:08,471 --> 00:13:11,221 Uh, so, do you want to get dinner sometime? 341 00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,424 Um... 342 00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:17,728 Louis, you're really nice, but... 343 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,898 I was in love with somebody a long time ago, 344 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,816 and he died. 345 00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:24,268 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. 346 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:27,738 Uh, it's silly, but... 347 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:31,892 it's like the first lottery ticket I ever bought was... 348 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:36,113 kaboom, jackpot, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to win again, 349 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:37,448 not like that anyway, 350 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:41,452 so I don't generally buy lottery tickets anymore. 351 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,619 I understand. 352 00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,738 So I should... go. 353 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,008 Well, if you change your mind... 354 00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:50,744 ...give me a call. 355 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,179 Okay. 356 00:14:00,021 --> 00:14:02,439 Okay, now we're even! 357 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,224 What?! What?! 358 00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:06,693 So we got dinner. And? 359 00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:10,030 He's... nice. 360 00:14:10,032 --> 00:14:12,866 Nice? He sounds amazing! 361 00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:14,768 Handsome, good dresser, paid for dinner. 362 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,102 What more do you want? 363 00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:18,104 Do you know how rough it is out there? 364 00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:20,440 I once met a guy claiming to be a genie 365 00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,075 whose penis grants wishes. 366 00:14:22,077 --> 00:14:25,162 Oh, my God, who would even fall for that? 367 00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:27,581 The point is, Louis sounds great. 368 00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,450 And that's how your mom started dating Louis. 369 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:33,119 And for a couple years, it was fun. 370 00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:35,973 ♪ One tasty English muffin 371 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,592 ♪ Baby, that is what I am 372 00:14:38,594 --> 00:14:39,643 ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da 373 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:42,513 ♪ One tasty English muffin 374 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:47,267 ♪ With some raspberry jam. 375 00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:49,102 That's funny. 376 00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:52,356 It just wasn't love. 377 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,808 But then fate intervened. 378 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,027 Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, happen to know of any 379 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,580 good wedding bands available at the last minute, would you? 380 00:15:00,832 --> 00:15:04,618 Hi. One ticket to Farhampton, please. 381 00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:07,171 Now, Louis had a beach house out in Farhampton, 382 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,705 so he let your mother stay there. 383 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,757 The day before the wedding, as she was taking 384 00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:12,926 some cookies out of the oven, she got an e-mail. 385 00:15:12,928 --> 00:15:15,879 What the damn hell?! 386 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,665 "Bass player wanted," that is what the ad said. 387 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,517 Can you believe that? 388 00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:24,821 After I'm the one who invited Darren into the band. 389 00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:26,106 What am I gonna do? 390 00:15:26,108 --> 00:15:29,476 You need to steal this douche monkey's van. 391 00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,980 Then run my husband over with it. 392 00:15:32,982 --> 00:15:34,982 Well, that's very tempting. 393 00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:37,317 I've never really been the type of person to... 394 00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:39,670 "Must be hotter than the girl we have now, 395 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,406 who, in my opinion, is a six at best"? 396 00:15:46,127 --> 00:15:49,746 Aw, geez, what is this knucklehead doing? 397 00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,586 Excuse me! Hey! 398 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,254 You guys need a lift? 399 00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:58,889 The best man just punched me 400 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,474 in the face for no reason. 401 00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:01,475 You know what? I quit. 402 00:16:01,477 --> 00:16:03,093 You can have your stupid band back. 403 00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:07,981 Linus, whoever that best man is, 404 00:16:07,983 --> 00:16:11,735 I would like to buy him a double of your finest scotch. 405 00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:23,363 Louis! 406 00:16:28,736 --> 00:16:30,554 Will you marry me? 407 00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:39,938 Can you give me a minute? Um... okay. 408 00:16:39,939 --> 00:16:42,723 There's someone that I need to talk to. 409 00:16:44,009 --> 00:16:46,060 I'll-I'll be right back. 410 00:16:56,638 --> 00:17:00,691 Hi, Max. It's me. 411 00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,293 Sorry to interrupt. 412 00:17:02,295 --> 00:17:05,479 I know you're probably up there playing baseball with your dad. 413 00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:10,618 Um, look, I-I've got a situation here. 414 00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:15,206 I think that I have been holding myself back 415 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:18,509 from falling in love again. 416 00:17:18,511 --> 00:17:23,297 And I think it's because I can't let you go. 417 00:17:23,299 --> 00:17:26,250 But you're not here anymore... 418 00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:31,055 so I have to ask this: 419 00:17:31,057 --> 00:17:35,726 Would it be okay if I moved on? 420 00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:40,948 I realize that you have no way of answering that, 421 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,283 but, um... 422 00:17:42,285 --> 00:17:44,151 Oh, okay... 423 00:17:44,153 --> 00:17:47,771 I will take that as yes. 424 00:17:47,773 --> 00:17:51,909 Um, in that case, I should get back in there. 425 00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:02,619 I guess this is it. 426 00:18:02,621 --> 00:18:04,505 For real this time. 427 00:18:06,975 --> 00:18:09,176 Bye, Max. 428 00:18:24,443 --> 00:18:26,861 So? 429 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,371 My answer is... 430 00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:39,073 no. 431 00:18:53,671 --> 00:18:55,222 You're in luck. 432 00:18:55,224 --> 00:18:57,058 Mother of the bride never checked in. 433 00:18:57,859 --> 00:18:58,976 How many keys will you be needing? 434 00:18:58,978 --> 00:18:59,944 Just one. 435 00:18:59,946 --> 00:19:01,345 Yeah. I just... 436 00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:04,031 I broke up with someone. 437 00:19:07,869 --> 00:19:11,772 I think room number six is the room for you. 438 00:19:11,774 --> 00:19:13,190 Thank you. 439 00:20:10,932 --> 00:20:15,352 ♪ Hold me close and hold me fast ♪ 440 00:20:15,354 --> 00:20:18,222 ♪ This magic spell you cast 441 00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:22,443 ♪ This is la vie en rose 442 00:20:22,445 --> 00:20:26,814 ♪ When you kiss me, Heaven sighs ♪ 443 00:20:26,816 --> 00:20:29,933 ♪ And though I close my eyes 444 00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:34,488 ♪ I see la vie en rose 445 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:38,659 ♪ When you press me to your heart ♪ 446 00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:40,995 ♪ I'm in a world apart ♪ 447 00:20:40,997 --> 00:20:45,282 ♪ A world where roses bloom 448 00:20:45,284 --> 00:20:50,971 ♪ And when you speak, angels sing from above ♪ 449 00:20:50,973 --> 00:20:53,891 ♪ Everyday words 450 00:20:53,893 --> 00:20:59,513 ♪ Seem to turn into love songs 451 00:21:00,932 --> 00:21:05,019 ♪ Give your heart and soul to me ♪ 452 00:21:05,021 --> 00:21:09,773 ♪ And life will always be 453 00:21:09,775 --> 00:21:14,945 ♪ La vie en rose. 454 00:21:22,537 --> 00:21:24,922 Kids, I must have heard your mom's rendition 455 00:21:24,924 --> 00:21:27,991 of "La Vie en Rose" a million times over the years. 456 00:21:27,993 --> 00:21:30,261 Every night when she tucked you in, for instance. 457 00:21:30,263 --> 00:21:31,378 But that performance, 458 00:21:31,380 --> 00:21:33,964 that first night I ever heard her sing, 459 00:21:33,966 --> 00:21:36,734 that one will always be my favorite. 460 00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:42,441 Wow. 461 00:21:42,727 --> 00:21:46,646 Barney, I was just out there on the patio... 462 00:21:46,648 --> 00:21:49,015 and there's someone in the room next to us. 463 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,483 I didn't see her, but... 464 00:21:50,485 --> 00:21:52,234 Well, she was playing the ukulele... 465 00:21:58,392 --> 00:21:59,759 Barney?