1
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,057
You're my best friend, Barney.
2
00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:09,025
Good. Then, as your best friend,
3
00:00:09,027 --> 00:00:10,960
I suggest we play a game
I like to call
4
00:00:10,962 --> 00:00:12,361
Have You Met Ted?
5
00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:13,663
What? Oh, my God.
6
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,231
I'm so stupid.
7
00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:16,299
Stay there. I'm on my way.
8
00:00:16,301 --> 00:00:17,784
♪ Say, man
9
00:00:17,786 --> 00:00:19,869
♪ Don't walk ahead
of that woman ♪
10
00:00:19,871 --> 00:00:22,071
♪ Like she don't belong to you ♪
11
00:00:22,073 --> 00:00:24,957
♪ Just 'cause her
got them little skinny legs ♪
12
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:27,543
♪ You know that ain't
no way to do ♪
13
00:00:27,545 --> 00:00:30,279
♪ You didn't act like that
when you had it home ♪
14
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,748
♪ Behind closed doors
15
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,884
♪ All right
16
00:00:34,886 --> 00:00:38,221
♪ Now you act like
you're ashamed at a woman ♪
17
00:00:38,223 --> 00:00:41,290
♪ Don't even want
nobody to know she's yours ♪
18
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,558
♪ But that's all right ♪
19
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:49,215
♪ You just walk on, baby
20
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,883
Excuse me. Pardon me.
21
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,653
♪ Because there's some man
somewhere who'll take you ♪
22
00:00:53,655 --> 00:00:55,855
♪ Baby, skinny legs and all
23
00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:57,640
I am so, so sorry.
24
00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:59,642
I went to the one
on the West Side.
25
00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:01,628
I was beginning to think
that you'd forgotten about me.
26
00:01:02,256 --> 00:01:06,256
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x16 ♪
How Your Mother Met Me
Original Air Date on January 27, 2014
27
00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:11,281
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
28
00:01:15,259 --> 00:01:18,211
Kids, the night your Aunt Lily
and Uncle Marshall got engaged,
29
00:01:18,213 --> 00:01:20,796
the night I met Aunt Robin,
was the night of your mom's
30
00:01:20,798 --> 00:01:23,099
21st birthday.
Happy birthday.
31
00:01:23,101 --> 00:01:25,501
W-Where's Max?
He couldn't get a cab.
32
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,687
Which is code for
"waited until the last minute
33
00:01:27,689 --> 00:01:29,171
to get me a birthday gift."
34
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,139
Although...
35
00:01:30,141 --> 00:01:31,357
he always nails it.
36
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,442
Two years ago,
he got me an exact replica
37
00:01:33,444 --> 00:01:35,027
of the Pee-wee's
Big Adventure bike.
38
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:37,864
And last year, he got me
a one-man band suit
39
00:01:37,866 --> 00:01:39,815
including knee cymbals.
40
00:01:39,817 --> 00:01:41,567
And these are things you want?
41
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,369
No, these are things I need.
42
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,537
Oh, that's Max.
43
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,872
Uh... I got to take this.
44
00:01:45,874 --> 00:01:48,040
Okay.
45
00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:51,961
Okay, you're officially
super late now...
46
00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:58,751
Yes, this is she.
47
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,375
Okay, this is ridiculous.
48
00:02:39,377 --> 00:02:41,827
You've been sitting
around for two years.
49
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,262
It's time to get
back out there.
50
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,965
I have not been sitting around.
I have been hard at work.
51
00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:47,783
I think I'm about to enter my
52
00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:50,970
"Robots Doing Track
and Field Events" period.
53
00:02:50,972 --> 00:02:52,054
It's a very exciting time.
54
00:02:53,057 --> 00:02:55,074
Sweetie.
55
00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,359
I love you.
56
00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:58,144
And I can't imagine
what it was like
57
00:02:58,146 --> 00:02:59,695
going through what
you went through.
58
00:02:59,697 --> 00:03:01,714
But these are your 20s.
59
00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,432
It's St. Patrick's Day.
60
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,767
The holiday of my people.
61
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,936
You're not Irish.
Binge drinkers.
62
00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,020
Now, let's go.
63
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,772
No, please don't
make me go out there.
64
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:10,790
It's gonna rain.
65
00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,825
Bring your umbrella.
66
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,999
How is the bathroom line
this long and yet the floor
67
00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:21,784
is covered with urine?
If there's urine out here,
68
00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:23,753
what in God's name
is going on in there?
69
00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:25,888
Screw this, we're holding it.
Let's go dance.
70
00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:26,889
No, thanks.
71
00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:29,091
This is what
I'm talking about.
72
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:31,460
The love of your life
could be on that dance floor,
73
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,679
waiting for you
to bump into him.
74
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,148
If you're not there, he's just
gonna bump into someone else.
75
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,434
Somehow I doubt it.
76
00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:40,019
Oh, I'm sorry.
77
00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:41,420
No, that's okay.
78
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,805
I'm going in.
79
00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,607
Wait, is that...
80
00:03:44,609 --> 00:03:45,808
Mitch.
81
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,327
No way.
Hi.
82
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,079
What are you doing
in New York?
83
00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:51,146
I live here.
What?
84
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,498
Uh, this is my
friend, Kelly.
85
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,666
Hey.
Hi.
86
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,584
Mitch was my instructor
at orchestra camp.
87
00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:56,669
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Orchestra camp.
88
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:57,787
It's not as lame
as it sounds.
89
00:03:57,789 --> 00:03:59,588
We also did physics, so...
Right.
90
00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:02,208
So, Mitch, what are you
up to these days?
91
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:03,342
I'm still teaching orchestra.
92
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,211
I'm at this public school
up in the Bronx.
93
00:04:05,213 --> 00:04:06,429
It's totally underfunded,
94
00:04:06,431 --> 00:04:07,830
a lot of the kids
can't afford instruments,
95
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:09,598
but I really...
Take my cello.
96
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,766
What?
Yeah.
97
00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:12,051
Oh, yeah, you
gotta take it.
98
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:13,135
I haven't played
it in years.
99
00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:14,169
It's just sitting
in my closet.
100
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,170
Give it to
one of the kids!
101
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,305
Wow, are you sure?
102
00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:17,473
Do you want to come
and get it right now?
103
00:04:17,475 --> 00:04:19,058
Um... okay.
104
00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,894
Okay, great. Let's go.
105
00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:25,314
Okay, yes, you're doing
something nice.
106
00:04:25,316 --> 00:04:26,849
But you're still
bailing on me.
107
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:29,985
So I guess, karmically...
it evens out?
108
00:04:29,987 --> 00:04:31,737
I'm just worried
about you.
109
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:32,988
Don't be.
110
00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:33,989
Have fun.
111
00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,374
And who knows?
112
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,693
Maybe you'll bump
into someone tonight.
113
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,495
Oh...
114
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:45,468
Girl, I will
sham-rock your world.
115
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,221
Okay...
116
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,674
I'll...
117
00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:52,758
We'll...
118
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,894
Okay.
119
00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:57,012
Okay, here it is.
120
00:04:57,014 --> 00:04:58,898
I haven't played this
121
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:01,333
since the popular girls
locked me inside the case.
122
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:04,270
Although it was roomier
than when I played the violin...
123
00:05:04,272 --> 00:05:05,821
What are you doing?!
124
00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,189
I don't know.
125
00:05:07,191 --> 00:05:08,223
What am I doing?
126
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,442
I don't know!
What are you doing?!
127
00:05:09,444 --> 00:05:10,443
This is my thing...
128
00:05:10,445 --> 00:05:11,894
It most certainly
is your thing.
129
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:12,862
Now, please cover your thing up.
130
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,196
Sorry.
131
00:05:14,198 --> 00:05:15,164
I-I meant...
132
00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:16,899
this move.
133
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,017
It's my thing.
134
00:05:18,668 --> 00:05:19,919
I call it "The Naked Man."
135
00:05:19,921 --> 00:05:20,953
A few weeks ago,
136
00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:22,872
I was on a date,
and it worked.
137
00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:24,957
And then I was on another date
and it worked again,
138
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,592
so I figured it would work
all the time.
139
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,127
Well, now you know
it doesn't work all the time.
140
00:05:28,129 --> 00:05:29,912
Yeah.
141
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:31,997
Although two out of three...
142
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,100
Is this what it's gonna be like?
143
00:05:34,102 --> 00:05:36,752
Being single in New York?
144
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:39,388
Even the nice guys turn out
to be total creeps?
145
00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:43,192
I have gotten pretty creepy
since I moved here.
146
00:05:43,194 --> 00:05:46,428
I feel so lost right now.
147
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,430
I don't even know
what I'm doing with my life.
148
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,233
Can I tell you
an embarrassing story?
149
00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:52,485
Is it this one?
150
00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:53,819
Taking place right now?
151
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,738
I felt lost
152
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,740
for a long time, too.
153
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:01,393
I was living in
my parents' basement.
154
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,963
Playing video games, mastur...
155
00:06:03,965 --> 00:06:05,714
ing those games,
156
00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:06,849
until
157
00:06:06,851 --> 00:06:08,217
I finally woke up
158
00:06:08,219 --> 00:06:11,137
and realized I wanted
to follow my dream
159
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,671
of teaching music.
160
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,475
Let me save you a few years.
161
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,228
Even if it sound
completely crazy...
162
00:06:19,230 --> 00:06:21,430
what is it you want
to do with your life?
163
00:06:21,432 --> 00:06:24,967
I want to end poverty.
164
00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,402
Great.
165
00:06:26,404 --> 00:06:28,971
Then every decision you make
from here on out
166
00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:31,290
should be in service of that.
167
00:06:32,409 --> 00:06:33,409
Wow.
168
00:06:33,411 --> 00:06:35,161
Thanks.
169
00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:36,579
You know,
for a minute there,
170
00:06:36,581 --> 00:06:37,947
I totally forgot
you were naked.
171
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,000
In a way...
172
00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:42,751
aren't we all naked?
173
00:06:42,753 --> 00:06:45,037
Yeah, but your balls
are on my couch.
174
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,841
Hug?
I will take a rain check.
175
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,092
It's raining now.
176
00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:52,294
Oh, my umbrella!
Oh! Uh...
177
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,547
I will be
right back.
178
00:06:54,549 --> 00:06:55,764
Um...
long story.
179
00:06:57,435 --> 00:06:59,185
Nothing happened,
I swear.
180
00:06:59,187 --> 00:07:00,819
Then why are you naked?
181
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:04,356
Oh, what the hell?
182
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:08,060
When I got to the club,
it had already closed.
183
00:07:08,062 --> 00:07:09,678
By the next day,
some super inconsiderate
184
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,564
person had taken my umbrella.
185
00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:14,233
But by that point,
I didn't care.
186
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:16,368
I knew that if I really wanted
to end poverty,
187
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:19,488
I had to get a degree
in economics.
188
00:07:19,490 --> 00:07:21,240
So...
189
00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:22,541
to answer your question,
190
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,076
that's how I got here.
191
00:07:24,078 --> 00:07:27,029
I meant, how did you get here
from the subway station?
192
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:27,599
Oh.
193
00:07:27,624 --> 00:07:29,662
But I'm only asking
'cause I just moved to town.
194
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,200
I don't even have
a place to live yet.
195
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,802
Yeah, you do.
196
00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:34,887
Come live with me.
197
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,255
My roommate just moved out.
198
00:07:36,257 --> 00:07:37,506
Are you sure?
199
00:07:37,508 --> 00:07:38,474
You just met me.
200
00:07:38,476 --> 00:07:39,975
I could be a serial killer.
201
00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:41,977
I like to believe in people.
202
00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:45,631
Plus, what are the chances
that we're both serial killers?
203
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,017
Just promise me there won't be
204
00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:49,401
any naked men
in the living room.
205
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:50,686
Not a problem.
206
00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:54,023
I'm on permanent hiatus
in the love department.
207
00:07:54,025 --> 00:07:55,024
Really?
208
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,325
I find that hard to believe.
209
00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:57,726
I guess I'm
old-fashioned.
210
00:07:57,728 --> 00:08:00,863
I believe that each of us
only gets one.
211
00:08:00,865 --> 00:08:03,616
And I got mine already.
212
00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:04,917
Well, if you ask me,
213
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:07,036
you know what comes
after the one?
214
00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:08,070
The next one.
215
00:08:08,072 --> 00:08:09,421
Oh, yeah.
216
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,457
Well, I don't really
see that happening
217
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:13,876
any time soon.
218
00:08:13,878 --> 00:08:15,177
Hi.
219
00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:16,512
Is this room seven?
220
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,918
And so, if you must bring food
to this class,
221
00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,970
please bring enough
for everyone.
222
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,905
I don't want to see someone
223
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,141
eating, say, lobster,
in the front row
224
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,460
without sharing
with the rest of of us.
225
00:08:32,462 --> 00:08:33,927
Because that...
226
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:37,031
would be shellfish.
227
00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:43,370
Come on,
that was funny.
228
00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:45,322
Anyway...
...this is Architecture 101.
229
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,657
Architecture 101?
230
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,726
Oh, no, I'm in the wrong class!
I have to go!
231
00:08:50,562 --> 00:08:52,329
Oh, sorry.
232
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:53,380
Um...
233
00:08:53,382 --> 00:08:54,782
Oh, God.
234
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,150
Wait, I was in the right class.
235
00:08:56,152 --> 00:08:58,752
First day as a professor,
wrong classroom, coming through!
236
00:09:02,224 --> 00:09:04,175
You play bass?
237
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,893
Seriously,
ask my friends.
238
00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:06,894
I always say
239
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,179
my ideal woman...
240
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,130
...does not play bass,
241
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,349
because this is clearly
your roommate's.
242
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:13,517
She's in a band.
243
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:14,968
Damn, that's cool.
244
00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:16,237
This is unbelievable.
245
00:09:16,239 --> 00:09:18,239
You just picked out
the only three things in here
246
00:09:18,241 --> 00:09:19,490
that are my roommate's.
247
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,525
So does your roommate's band
ever play shows or...
248
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,411
Get out.
All right.
249
00:09:46,017 --> 00:09:48,001
Okay, this is crazy.
250
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:49,587
Do you know where this
umbrella came from?
251
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,971
Because I could've
sworn that I...
252
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:53,324
What's wrong?
253
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,475
Are you okay?
254
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:55,860
We broke up.
255
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,479
Oh... well,
I never liked him,
256
00:09:58,481 --> 00:10:01,115
and I never thought
he deserved you, and...
257
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:03,183
I am sorry, I didn't know
you were dating someone.
258
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,118
Who was this?
259
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,654
He was the architecture
professor.
260
00:10:06,656 --> 00:10:09,356
The one who taught
Econ 305 by accident.
261
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,857
Oh.
262
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,159
That guy?
263
00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:13,711
Why did you break up?
264
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,246
He's got a thing for you.
265
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,530
What?
266
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:17,698
Yeah, what?
267
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,032
He's... what?
268
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:21,418
How... um, how could
he have a thing for me?
269
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,720
He's never even met me.
270
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,037
He didn't have to.
271
00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:26,340
Everything he saw of yours,
he went crazy for.
272
00:10:26,342 --> 00:10:28,509
You should've brought
him to my room.
273
00:10:28,511 --> 00:10:30,311
Okay? He would've
run screaming
274
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,929
once he saw my
calligraphy set,
275
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,097
my coin collection,
276
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:36,066
my chain-mail corset
from the Renaissance Faire.
277
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,018
Well, that's pretty cool.
278
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,103
Come on.
279
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,821
How could he not
be in love with you?
280
00:10:40,823 --> 00:10:42,889
The way you
fall asleep on the couch
281
00:10:42,891 --> 00:10:44,024
when you're doing the crossword.
282
00:10:44,026 --> 00:10:45,659
When did he see me
fall asleep on...
283
00:10:45,661 --> 00:10:47,060
The way your hair smells.
284
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:49,797
The way your eyes sparkle.
285
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,738
I might have some stuff
to figure out.
286
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,374
You might.
I'm so sorry!
287
00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:02,293
No, uh, it's okay.
288
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,744
It was nice.
289
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,047
I haven't been kissed
in a really long time.
290
00:11:07,049 --> 00:11:09,967
Not long after that,
she met a nice girl
291
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,852
and they fell in love,
292
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:14,855
so it's a happy ending--
for Cindy anyway.
293
00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:17,358
I, however, am left
without a roommate,
294
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,560
so here we are.
295
00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:22,229
I have a confession.
296
00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:24,531
Uh, I don't need
a place to live.
297
00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:26,817
I saw your ad for the
roommate, and I just...
298
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,619
I-I really wanted to meet you.
299
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:32,706
I-I'm a huge fan of your
band SuperFreakonomics.
300
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,291
Oh, my gosh, really?
301
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,126
Really, come
I to all your shows,
302
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,462
and I'm not just saying this--
I think you guys are
303
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:41,948
the best economic-themed band
in the entire city.
304
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:44,084
Even better
than Radiohedge Fund?
305
00:11:44,086 --> 00:11:45,336
Oh, absolutely.
306
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,772
I wish I had the guts
to do what you do.
307
00:11:49,424 --> 00:11:53,477
I love to sing, but...
308
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,262
You know what?
309
00:11:55,264 --> 00:11:58,965
Next time we do a show, you have
got to come up onstage with us
310
00:11:58,967 --> 00:11:59,933
and sing a song.
311
00:11:59,935 --> 00:12:01,852
Oh, no, I couldn't.
Mm-hmm.
312
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,638
No, I'm, I'm, I'm too shy.
313
00:12:05,774 --> 00:12:08,642
♪ But maybe just one song!
314
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,477
♪ Yeah!
315
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:14,615
I mean, I don't like to think
of SuperFreakonomics as my band.
316
00:12:14,617 --> 00:12:16,583
I think of it as my canvas
317
00:12:16,585 --> 00:12:19,486
upon which I paint
my masterpieces.
318
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,374
And that right there is
why I don't play bass.
319
00:12:27,161 --> 00:12:28,929
Can I help you
with that?
320
00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:32,800
Uh, wow, thanks, Superman.
321
00:12:32,802 --> 00:12:34,768
No problem.
322
00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:35,669
It's either help you
323
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,388
or stop a train
from going off a cliff,
324
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,772
and you're much cuter.
325
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:41,007
Can I buy you a drink?
326
00:12:41,009 --> 00:12:43,494
Oh, no, sorry, I'm 16.
327
00:12:44,362 --> 00:12:47,314
Oh, wow, sorry.
328
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:48,515
Have a good night.
329
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:49,950
Wait, you believe that?
330
00:12:50,618 --> 00:12:51,819
I like you.
331
00:12:51,821 --> 00:12:54,321
Uh, sure,
you can buy me a drink.
332
00:12:54,323 --> 00:12:55,889
MacLaren's.
333
00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:56,840
The last time I was here,
334
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,675
I thought this place
was called Puzzles.
335
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,077
That's an odd name.
336
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,962
Why would you call a bar
Puzzles?
337
00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,715
Unless that's the puzzle.
338
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,916
Well, um,
339
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,469
thank you for the drink.
340
00:13:08,471 --> 00:13:11,221
Uh, so, do you want
to get dinner sometime?
341
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,424
Um...
342
00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:17,728
Louis, you're really nice,
but...
343
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,898
I was in love with somebody
a long time ago,
344
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,816
and he died.
345
00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:24,268
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
346
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:27,738
Uh, it's silly, but...
347
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:31,892
it's like the first lottery
ticket I ever bought was...
348
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:36,113
kaboom, jackpot, and I'm pretty
sure I'm not going to win again,
349
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:37,448
not like that anyway,
350
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:41,452
so I don't generally buy
lottery tickets anymore.
351
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,619
I understand.
352
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,738
So I should... go.
353
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,008
Well, if you
change your mind...
354
00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:50,744
...give me a call.
355
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,179
Okay.
356
00:14:00,021 --> 00:14:02,439
Okay, now we're even!
357
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,224
What?!
What?!
358
00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:06,693
So we got dinner.
And?
359
00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:10,030
He's... nice.
360
00:14:10,032 --> 00:14:12,866
Nice? He sounds amazing!
361
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:14,768
Handsome, good dresser,
paid for dinner.
362
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,102
What more do you want?
363
00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:18,104
Do you know how rough
it is out there?
364
00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:20,440
I once met a guy claiming
to be a genie
365
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,075
whose penis grants wishes.
366
00:14:22,077 --> 00:14:25,162
Oh, my God,
who would even fall for that?
367
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:27,581
The point is,
Louis sounds great.
368
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,450
And that's how your mom
started dating Louis.
369
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:33,119
And for a couple years,
it was fun.
370
00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:35,973
♪ One tasty English muffin
371
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,592
♪ Baby, that is what I am
372
00:14:38,594 --> 00:14:39,643
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
373
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:42,513
♪ One tasty English muffin
374
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:47,267
♪ With some raspberry jam.
375
00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:49,102
That's funny.
376
00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:52,356
It just wasn't love.
377
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,808
But then fate intervened.
378
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,027
Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh,
happen to know of any
379
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,580
good wedding bands available
at the last minute, would you?
380
00:15:00,832 --> 00:15:04,618
Hi. One ticket
to Farhampton, please.
381
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:07,171
Now, Louis had a beach house
out in Farhampton,
382
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,705
so he let your mother
stay there.
383
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,757
The day before the wedding,
as she was taking
384
00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:12,926
some cookies out of the oven,
she got an e-mail.
385
00:15:12,928 --> 00:15:15,879
What the damn hell?!
386
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,665
"Bass player wanted,"
that is what the ad said.
387
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,517
Can you believe that?
388
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:24,821
After I'm the one who invited
Darren into the band.
389
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:26,106
What am I gonna do?
390
00:15:26,108 --> 00:15:29,476
You need to steal
this douche monkey's van.
391
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,980
Then run my husband over
with it.
392
00:15:32,982 --> 00:15:34,982
Well, that's very tempting.
393
00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:37,317
I've never really been
the type of person to...
394
00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:39,670
"Must be hotter
than the girl we have now,
395
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,406
who, in my opinion,
is a six at best"?
396
00:15:46,127 --> 00:15:49,746
Aw, geez, what is this
knucklehead doing?
397
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,586
Excuse me! Hey!
398
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,254
You guys need a lift?
399
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:58,889
The best man just punched me
400
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,474
in the face for no reason.
401
00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:01,475
You know what? I quit.
402
00:16:01,477 --> 00:16:03,093
You can have
your stupid band back.
403
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:07,981
Linus, whoever that best man is,
404
00:16:07,983 --> 00:16:11,735
I would like to buy him
a double of your finest scotch.
405
00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:23,363
Louis!
406
00:16:28,736 --> 00:16:30,554
Will you marry me?
407
00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:39,938
Can you give me a minute?
Um... okay.
408
00:16:39,939 --> 00:16:42,723
There's someone
that I need to talk to.
409
00:16:44,009 --> 00:16:46,060
I'll-I'll be right back.
410
00:16:56,638 --> 00:17:00,691
Hi, Max. It's me.
411
00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,293
Sorry to interrupt.
412
00:17:02,295 --> 00:17:05,479
I know you're probably up there
playing baseball with your dad.
413
00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:10,618
Um, look, I-I've got
a situation here.
414
00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:15,206
I think that I have been
holding myself back
415
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:18,509
from falling in love again.
416
00:17:18,511 --> 00:17:23,297
And I think it's because
I can't let you go.
417
00:17:23,299 --> 00:17:26,250
But you're not here anymore...
418
00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:31,055
so I have to ask this:
419
00:17:31,057 --> 00:17:35,726
Would it be okay
if I moved on?
420
00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:40,948
I realize that you have no way
of answering that,
421
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,283
but, um...
422
00:17:42,285 --> 00:17:44,151
Oh, okay...
423
00:17:44,153 --> 00:17:47,771
I will take that as yes.
424
00:17:47,773 --> 00:17:51,909
Um, in that case,
I should get back in there.
425
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:02,619
I guess this is it.
426
00:18:02,621 --> 00:18:04,505
For real this time.
427
00:18:06,975 --> 00:18:09,176
Bye, Max.
428
00:18:24,443 --> 00:18:26,861
So?
429
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,371
My answer is...
430
00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:39,073
no.
431
00:18:53,671 --> 00:18:55,222
You're in luck.
432
00:18:55,224 --> 00:18:57,058
Mother of the bride
never checked in.
433
00:18:57,859 --> 00:18:58,976
How many keys
will you be needing?
434
00:18:58,978 --> 00:18:59,944
Just one.
435
00:18:59,946 --> 00:19:01,345
Yeah.
I just...
436
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:04,031
I broke up with someone.
437
00:19:07,869 --> 00:19:11,772
I think room number six
is the room for you.
438
00:19:11,774 --> 00:19:13,190
Thank you.
439
00:20:10,932 --> 00:20:15,352
♪ Hold me close
and hold me fast ♪
440
00:20:15,354 --> 00:20:18,222
♪ This magic spell you cast
441
00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:22,443
♪ This is la vie en rose
442
00:20:22,445 --> 00:20:26,814
♪ When you kiss me,
Heaven sighs ♪
443
00:20:26,816 --> 00:20:29,933
♪ And though I close my eyes
444
00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:34,488
♪ I see la vie en rose
445
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:38,659
♪ When you press me
to your heart ♪
446
00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:40,995
♪ I'm in a world apart ♪
447
00:20:40,997 --> 00:20:45,282
♪ A world where roses bloom
448
00:20:45,284 --> 00:20:50,971
♪ And when you speak,
angels sing from above ♪
449
00:20:50,973 --> 00:20:53,891
♪ Everyday words
450
00:20:53,893 --> 00:20:59,513
♪ Seem to turn into love songs
451
00:21:00,932 --> 00:21:05,019
♪ Give your heart and soul
to me ♪
452
00:21:05,021 --> 00:21:09,773
♪ And life will always be
453
00:21:09,775 --> 00:21:14,945
♪ La vie en rose.
454
00:21:22,537 --> 00:21:24,922
Kids, I must have heard
your mom's rendition
455
00:21:24,924 --> 00:21:27,991
of "La Vie en Rose"
a million times over the years.
456
00:21:27,993 --> 00:21:30,261
Every night when she tucked
you in, for instance.
457
00:21:30,263 --> 00:21:31,378
But that performance,
458
00:21:31,380 --> 00:21:33,964
that first night
I ever heard her sing,
459
00:21:33,966 --> 00:21:36,734
that one will always be
my favorite.
460
00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:42,441
Wow.
461
00:21:42,727 --> 00:21:46,646
Barney, I was just out there
on the patio...
462
00:21:46,648 --> 00:21:49,015
and there's someone
in the room next to us.
463
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,483
I didn't see her, but...
464
00:21:50,485 --> 00:21:52,234
Well, she was playing
the ukulele...
465
00:21:58,392 --> 00:21:59,759
Barney?