1
00:00:09,684 --> 00:00:11,370
- Hi.
- Hi.
2
00:00:12,584 --> 00:00:13,950
Okay.
3
00:00:17,795 --> 00:00:20,053
So I thought we'd...
try this new restaurant.
4
00:00:20,066 --> 00:00:22,582
It's right around the corner from here.
It's Scottish-Mexican fusion.
5
00:00:22,602 --> 00:00:25,424
- Scottish-Mexican fusion?
- Scottish-Mexican fusion.
6
00:00:25,448 --> 00:00:28,271
That would seem like two
things that do not fuse.
7
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:31,197
Perhaps you'll change your mind when you
try their signature haggis enchiladas.
8
00:00:32,435 --> 00:00:35,075
- Okay. Lead the way.
- All right. Yeah, come on.
9
00:00:35,959 --> 00:00:38,352
I was surprised
when you called.
10
00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:39,737
Isn't there some
universal guy rule
11
00:00:39,763 --> 00:00:41,849
where you have to wait
four days to call a girl?
12
00:00:41,869 --> 00:00:44,683
That... does not ring a bell.
13
00:00:44,707 --> 00:00:46,643
And it's three days.
14
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,939
Here we are.
15
00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:53,337
Uh, I did not realize there
would be live music.
16
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,012
So, uh, should we...
17
00:00:55,032 --> 00:00:56,603
Eat anywhere but here?
18
00:00:56,629 --> 00:00:58,362
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
19
00:00:58,388 --> 00:01:01,135
Besides, I'm sure we can find a place
where we don't need reservations.
20
00:01:01,158 --> 00:01:02,558
Oh, you think it's
just that easy?
21
00:01:02,571 --> 00:01:04,944
Just stroll in off the
street and get a meal?
22
00:01:04,968 --> 00:01:08,628
Well, let me tell you the
tale of Gary Blauman.
23
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,946
- There's the blushing bride!
- Oh!
24
00:01:11,981 --> 00:01:14,474
- Gary Blauman!
- How are you?!
25
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:18,525
Uh, duh, like I need to ask.
You're getting married.
26
00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:20,592
Well, don't let me keep you.
You have things to do.
27
00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:22,731
I will see you walking
down the aisle.
28
00:01:22,757 --> 00:01:25,384
I'll be the guy in the
eighth row going like this.
29
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:28,836
- Right?!
- Right.
30
00:01:28,862 --> 00:01:30,063
- Good luck today!
- Thank you.
31
00:01:30,076 --> 00:01:31,550
Okay.
32
00:01:33,522 --> 00:01:35,389
- Hey, there's the blushing bride...
- Code red!
33
00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:39,472
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x21 ♪
Gary Blauman
Original Air Date on March 17, 2014
34
00:01:39,491 --> 00:01:44,491
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
35
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:50,585
Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
36
00:01:50,607 --> 00:01:52,467
- oh, my God!
- Why the code red?
37
00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:54,150
I mean, if it's... if
it's about your hair,
38
00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:56,457
I didn't even notice;
Especially not from the back.
39
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,109
- What?
- Nothing.
40
00:01:58,136 --> 00:02:00,384
Gary Blauman is here, and I
had no idea he was coming.
41
00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,493
His reply card must've
gotten lost in the mail.
42
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,054
I mean, where's
he gonna sit?
43
00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:07,011
- It took us weeks to plan
the seating chart! - Robin.
44
00:02:08,263 --> 00:02:09,723
Shh.
45
00:02:10,271 --> 00:02:11,951
- I got you.
- Huh?
46
00:02:11,971 --> 00:02:13,773
You're talking to the
seating chart master.
47
00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:16,916
At my own wedding, I managed
to sit small-town Minnesotans
48
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:20,816
right next to liberal New
Yorkers with grace and aplomb.
49
00:02:20,837 --> 00:02:23,773
Table 27 still gets together
once a year for a reunion.
50
00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:25,800
Perhaps you've seen their
photos on Facebook.
51
00:02:28,404 --> 00:02:29,671
Like I said...
52
00:02:29,699 --> 00:02:30,986
I got you.
53
00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:32,390
Thanks, Marshall.
54
00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:38,866
Code red!
55
00:02:38,888 --> 00:02:40,575
Grandma's sitting
next to the band,
56
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,334
divorced couple sitting one
table away from each other,
57
00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,187
no coherent singles table.
58
00:02:45,214 --> 00:02:47,604
This is the Robin's
hair of seating charts.
59
00:02:47,624 --> 00:02:49,144
Singles tables are cruel.
60
00:02:49,163 --> 00:02:51,530
I mean, what if you went to a wedding
and there was a table of all fat guys?
61
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:53,123
- That would be awesome.
- You're right, it would.
62
00:02:53,143 --> 00:02:56,076
Let's crack this Gary Blauman nut first,
and then we'll work on the fat guy table.
63
00:02:56,096 --> 00:02:58,889
Wait, did you say Gary Blauman?
64
00:02:58,914 --> 00:03:01,241
- Yeah. Why?
- I...
65
00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:04,374
hate... that guy.
66
00:03:04,394 --> 00:03:05,234
Why?
67
00:03:05,254 --> 00:03:08,361
Remember a few years ago when I read
that biography of Teddy Roosevelt?
68
00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:13,480
For weeks after I read it, I only
wanted to talk about one thing.
69
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:16,543
Teddy Roosevelt was
the coolest guy ever!
70
00:03:16,558 --> 00:03:18,565
Oh, that's it!
71
00:03:18,591 --> 00:03:20,185
No more books, Ted.
72
00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:22,795
I don't like the person you
become when you read books.
73
00:03:22,814 --> 00:03:24,712
Here's the deal: You
get to tell us one more
74
00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:27,031
interesting fact about
Teddy Roosevelt.
75
00:03:27,059 --> 00:03:29,112
One more, and then
you're done forever.
76
00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:31,595
- So make it a good one.
- Okay.
77
00:03:33,244 --> 00:03:35,313
He went blind
in one eye...
78
00:03:35,921 --> 00:03:39,241
from getting hit too hard
in a boxing match...
79
00:03:39,263 --> 00:03:41,390
...while he was president!
80
00:03:41,409 --> 00:03:43,056
- That's a pretty good one.
- Wow. That is kind of...
81
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,660
Right?! Oh, and when
he was at Harvard...
82
00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:47,233
- No! No! - Shut up!
- Oh, my God! Please!
83
00:03:47,246 --> 00:03:50,687
Well, one night, we were
throwing a party to celebrate...
84
00:03:50,712 --> 00:03:53,445
something-- I-I can't
remember what--
85
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:54,878
when a pretty girl
I had never met
86
00:03:54,898 --> 00:03:56,773
noticed the book on
the coffee table.
87
00:03:56,795 --> 00:03:58,935
I can't believe you
have this book.
88
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:03,919
I just finished reading it. Teddy
Roosevelt was the coolest guy ever.
89
00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:05,448
A unicorn.
90
00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:08,334
I couldn't believe it. It
was a stroke of luck on par
91
00:04:08,354 --> 00:04:10,708
with the 50-page manuscript
in Roosevelt's breast pocket
92
00:04:10,729 --> 00:04:12,710
that helped slow that
would-be assassin's bullet.
93
00:04:12,725 --> 00:04:15,492
- Dude, come on.
- Sorry. Anyway...
94
00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:17,900
enter Gary Blauman.
95
00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:20,830
Is that the Teddy
Roosevelt biography?
96
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:24,423
- Coolest guy ever.
- Right? Right?
97
00:04:24,449 --> 00:04:26,316
Right? Right?
98
00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:28,663
- Right? Right?
- Right?
99
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:31,753
So the three of us started
talking Teddy Roosevelt.
100
00:04:31,783 --> 00:04:34,434
When he took that four-minute flight
on the Wright brother's plane?
101
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,620
So cool.
102
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,160
The time he climbed the tallest
mountain in Europe on his honeymoon.
103
00:04:39,173 --> 00:04:40,677
So cool.
104
00:04:40,692 --> 00:04:42,119
And that's when
I realized,
105
00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:44,308
Blauman and I were locked
in a battle of wills
106
00:04:44,336 --> 00:04:47,889
that made T.R.'s charge up San Juan
Hill look like a walk in the park.
107
00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:51,325
Or should I say, in the national
park, since it was Roosevelt
108
00:04:51,338 --> 00:04:52,640
who spearheaded the
establishment...
109
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:55,100
Dude, come on. I
gave you one.
110
00:04:55,998 --> 00:04:57,405
The battle raged on.
111
00:04:57,996 --> 00:04:59,416
In a way, he was...
112
00:04:59,438 --> 00:05:03,159
...the archetype of the
modern politician!
113
00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:07,676
- Dude, knock it off.
- Knock what off, bro?
114
00:05:07,695 --> 00:05:11,541
This is my apartment, my Teddy Roosevelt
conversation, I get the girl.
115
00:05:11,569 --> 00:05:13,705
Oh, so the fact that
you're the incumbent means
116
00:05:13,725 --> 00:05:17,355
she should just pick you? Tell
that to William Howard Taft.
117
00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:19,468
You're calling me Taft?
118
00:05:19,478 --> 00:05:21,405
If anyone's Taft,
you're Taft!
119
00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:23,365
I'm not Taft! I'm Teddy!
120
00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:25,515
The hell you are.
My name is Ted!
121
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:29,147
Yeah, right. Go sign the
Payne-Aldrich Tariff Act, Taft!
122
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:30,959
How dare you?
123
00:05:30,986 --> 00:05:34,018
Skinny-dipping in
the Potomac River.
124
00:05:35,519 --> 00:05:38,596
And so the standoff
continued, hours passed...
125
00:05:38,616 --> 00:05:40,263
then days.
126
00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:42,356
- Days passed?
- Days passed.
127
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:45,750
Finally, a T.R. stricken
by tropical fever
128
00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,663
on his Amazon trek, we
could go no further.
129
00:05:48,669 --> 00:05:51,895
When he was Assistant
Secretary of the Navy...
130
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:56,174
Will you just pick one of us already so
I can either have sex or go to sleep!
131
00:05:57,281 --> 00:05:58,924
Smooth, bro.
132
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:02,474
After that day, I have
never liked that guy.
133
00:06:02,486 --> 00:06:06,302
So let's just tell Robin this can't be
done, and send Gary Blauman packing.
134
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,352
Did you just say
Gary Blauman?
135
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:10,598
Yeah.
136
00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:12,561
I...
137
00:06:12,577 --> 00:06:14,344
love that guy!
138
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:17,520
- What?! He's the devil!
- He's an angel.
139
00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:20,527
It was 2006, Marshall
and I had broken up,
140
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,826
and I was back in New
York feeling vulnerable
141
00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,543
and listening to my breakup
song over and over.
142
00:06:25,569 --> 00:06:27,549
- Sugar Ray's "Fly."
- You know it.
143
00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:29,747
Man, you know nothing
about breakups.
144
00:06:29,775 --> 00:06:31,390
I really don't.
145
00:06:31,856 --> 00:06:34,583
- Anyway, then I hit bottom.
- There's a bottom below Sugar Ray?
146
00:06:34,606 --> 00:06:35,872
Mm.
147
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,880
What?! Why have I never
seen that before?
148
00:06:39,906 --> 00:06:42,633
I've been using cover-up
and strategically placed
149
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:45,952
straps for a long time
to keep this puppy quiet.
150
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:49,705
After all the times you guys made fun
of me for my breakup butterfly tattoo?
151
00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:53,574
Oh, the fact that Ted
got a butterfly tattoo,
152
00:06:53,594 --> 00:06:56,421
will you ever stop
being hilarious?
153
00:06:56,427 --> 00:06:58,388
So why is it only
half a butterfly?
154
00:06:58,403 --> 00:07:01,621
Because Gary Blauman saw
me in the tattoo parlor,
155
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,794
dragged me out and talked
some sense into me.
156
00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:07,948
Lily, trust me, you and Marshall
are going to get back together.
157
00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:11,185
And when you do, you will
be so glad you did not get
158
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,718
the other half of
that butterfly.
159
00:07:12,738 --> 00:07:16,951
Actually, I was gonna get a
little more than the butterfly.
160
00:07:20,078 --> 00:07:21,691
It's good that I
ran into you.
161
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,427
Marshall, Blauman saved
you from a lifetime
162
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,868
of looking at Sugar Ray every
time we do it on your birthday.
163
00:07:27,885 --> 00:07:31,218
- Find him a nice seat.
- No, no, do not find him a seat.
164
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,503
- I'm telling you, this guy...
- You find him a nice...
165
00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:34,029
Neither of us was
gonna back down,
166
00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:36,866
so finally we decided to
take it to the groom.
167
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,850
- Wh-What's going on?
- Shh!
168
00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:41,125
Wha...?
169
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,127
Who's that guy?
170
00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:47,067
It's my ex-boyfriend.
171
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:56,771
So, we're crouching behind a van,
hiding from your ex-boyfriend.
172
00:07:56,798 --> 00:07:59,338
Forgive me, I'm a little
bit of a detective.
173
00:07:59,351 --> 00:08:01,011
It was a bad breakup?
174
00:08:01,042 --> 00:08:02,602
Pretty bad.
175
00:08:02,622 --> 00:08:06,195
- Bad like there was a big fight?
- Bad like there was a big ring.
176
00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:08,619
Bad like this happened
in the past year?
177
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,798
Bad like it
happened Saturday.
178
00:08:11,764 --> 00:08:14,521
- So bad.
- Yeah.
179
00:08:17,108 --> 00:08:18,951
Okay, he's gone.
180
00:08:20,665 --> 00:08:22,718
I'm so sorry, Ted.
181
00:08:22,742 --> 00:08:27,983
I really like you, but I'm-I'm in the
weirdest place on Earth right now.
182
00:08:27,995 --> 00:08:30,622
You're in a Scottish-Mexican
restaurant?
183
00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:34,402
Yup. Yeah, I am.
184
00:08:35,287 --> 00:08:37,527
It's just too soon
for me to be dating.
185
00:08:37,544 --> 00:08:39,857
I think I should
head home.
186
00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:44,131
Well, want me to
walk with you?
187
00:08:44,151 --> 00:08:46,758
Lots of scary ex-boyfriends
in this neighborhood.
188
00:08:46,785 --> 00:08:48,176
Sure.
189
00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:50,528
I do want to hear the
rest of that story.
190
00:08:50,541 --> 00:08:52,794
- Right, right the story.
- Yeah.
191
00:08:52,819 --> 00:08:56,134
So, we decided to
take it to the groom.
192
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,109
- Did you say Gary Blauman?
- Yeah.
193
00:08:59,142 --> 00:09:01,748
- Gary Blauman?
- Yes.
194
00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:04,600
Blauman... comma, Gary?
195
00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:07,639
Point, comma, get
to the damn.
196
00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:09,624
I...
197
00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:18,238
love...
198
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,731
that we have the
opportunity to destroy
199
00:09:20,744 --> 00:09:23,550
Gary Blauman's weekend by
kicking him out of the wedding!
200
00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:26,438
Yes! Gary Blauman Haters'
Club right here!
201
00:09:26,451 --> 00:09:31,657
What that guy did to me.
Oh... God!
202
00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:34,490
It makes me furious
to this day!
203
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:38,453
Okay, okay, I'm gonna try and tell this
story without completely losing it.
204
00:09:38,473 --> 00:09:40,479
Ready? Okay, here goes.
205
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,463
I was at the...
206
00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,935
Nope, not gonna happen.
Give me a second.
207
00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:48,510
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
208
00:09:48,974 --> 00:09:50,096
I was at the bar.
209
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,989
Hey, Barney!
210
00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:54,962
- What's up, Blauman? Have a seat.
- Oh, thanks.
211
00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:56,621
Your fries.
212
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,479
- Need anything?
- I'm good, thanks.
213
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,539
Oh, but he was not
good, thanks.
214
00:10:01,558 --> 00:10:04,063
He was not good,
thanks, at all!
215
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:07,750
Oh, what? Did he take
one of your fries?
216
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,209
Take one?
217
00:10:09,934 --> 00:10:11,438
Take one?
218
00:10:12,557 --> 00:10:13,786
Lily, it would have
been one thing
219
00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:15,832
if he took one of my fries;
That would have been one thing.
220
00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:18,754
No, Lily, that day,
221
00:10:18,771 --> 00:10:21,291
Blauman took...
222
00:10:24,444 --> 00:10:26,448
...four of my fries!
223
00:10:26,999 --> 00:10:29,206
But that's not
even the capper!
224
00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:31,698
Here's the part that still
keeps me up at night:
225
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,707
The fourth fry he took...
226
00:10:33,727 --> 00:10:36,414
The fourth fry he took...
227
00:10:39,358 --> 00:10:42,062
Buddy, you oka... you okay?
228
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,444
The fourth fry he took...
229
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,726
...was an
accidental curly.
230
00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:05,905
You don't take a man's
accidental curly.
231
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:09,595
You take a man's wife before
you take his accidental curly.
232
00:11:09,615 --> 00:11:12,229
If you wanted curly
fries so bad,
233
00:11:12,249 --> 00:11:14,576
why not just order them
in the first place?
234
00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:17,149
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause
that's what you want.
235
00:11:17,165 --> 00:11:18,706
All curly fries.
236
00:11:18,732 --> 00:11:21,799
Regular cut with a few
accidental curlies.
237
00:11:21,818 --> 00:11:23,711
- That's what you want.
- That's the dream.
238
00:11:23,736 --> 00:11:26,223
- He's right. That is the dream.
- No!
239
00:11:26,243 --> 00:11:28,530
I refuse to look
down from the altar
240
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:31,327
as I say my vowels to
the woman of my dreams,
241
00:11:31,353 --> 00:11:34,582
and see that
damned, stupid,
242
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:38,331
accidental-curly-
fry-stealing Gary Blauman!
243
00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:40,481
Did you say Gary Blauman?
244
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,360
I...
245
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,172
hate...
246
00:11:45,198 --> 00:11:47,059
to disagree with Barney.
247
00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:48,259
But I love that guy!
248
00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:51,156
I just met him
earlier today.
249
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,109
Oh, my gosh!
250
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:55,292
- It's you.
- Yeah.
251
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,336
You're the poet
William Zabka.
252
00:11:58,297 --> 00:12:00,804
Nobody ever recognizes
me for my poetry.
253
00:12:01,499 --> 00:12:03,578
He has all six of
my collections.
254
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,031
When Terry Gross interviewed
me on Fresh Air,
255
00:12:06,056 --> 00:12:07,836
he listened live.
256
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,065
Gary Blauman rules!
257
00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:11,613
Gary Blauman?
258
00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:14,151
I...
259
00:12:15,706 --> 00:12:17,135
hate...
260
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,776
...that I once thought
I loved Gary Blauman.
261
00:12:19,796 --> 00:12:22,439
Ooh, this sounds good.
262
00:12:22,461 --> 00:12:25,361
Gary's the guy that I
had an affair with.
263
00:12:25,383 --> 00:12:28,890
Tom found out, threw
me out of the house.
264
00:12:28,909 --> 00:12:31,132
Now the kids are
from a broken home.
265
00:12:31,804 --> 00:12:33,637
Because of Gary Blauman,
266
00:12:33,662 --> 00:12:37,326
everything that matters
to me is gone.
267
00:12:41,256 --> 00:12:43,399
I got that beat. So, I was
ordering these fries...
268
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,299
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Blauman's gay?
269
00:12:46,318 --> 00:12:48,371
Well...
then that means that night,
270
00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:50,054
the real battle...
271
00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:52,552
was between Blauman...
272
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,331
and the girl.
273
00:12:54,353 --> 00:12:56,514
And the prize...
274
00:12:56,539 --> 00:12:57,699
was this guy.
275
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,176
Keep telling yourself
that, buddy.
276
00:13:00,202 --> 00:13:02,095
I don't want to see Gary Blauman
at my brother's wedding.
277
00:13:02,121 --> 00:13:03,421
Neither do I!
278
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,382
- I'm the brother in question!
- Now, now, hold on.
279
00:13:07,616 --> 00:13:09,606
Order! Order!
280
00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:13,611
Robin put this on my plate, and
so I'll make the decision.
281
00:13:13,650 --> 00:13:15,930
Now, let's take a short recess.
Everybody out.
282
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:17,344
Okay.
283
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:20,896
Lily, out of court
settlement.
284
00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:22,922
Drop this whole thing, and
I'll give you ten bucks.
285
00:13:22,939 --> 00:13:24,758
No.
286
00:13:27,221 --> 00:13:29,218
I can't go
higher than ten.
287
00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:34,664
I'm ready to give
my decision.
288
00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:38,281
This was a tough one. Lot of
good points on both sides.
289
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,375
But ultimately...
290
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,340
- Blauman stays.
- Yeah. - What in the...?
291
00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:47,005
For one simple reason. There is
a higher law at every wedding.
292
00:13:47,024 --> 00:13:49,740
A law that trumps all
other arguments.
293
00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:52,181
When the bride asks
for something,
294
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,799
- she gets it.
- Yes.
295
00:13:54,372 --> 00:13:56,372
- Wow. He's right.
- Good point.
296
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:58,981
This fake court
thing is adjourned.
297
00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:00,422
Judged.
298
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:04,866
Well, I guess let's go find Blauman
and tell him the good news.
299
00:14:04,879 --> 00:14:06,946
Yeah, about that.
Bit of a wrinkle.
300
00:14:06,966 --> 00:14:09,112
I was just in the hallway,
ran into Blauman.
301
00:14:09,132 --> 00:14:10,819
I told him if he didn't
leave immediately,
302
00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:14,018
- then Billy Zabka was gonna
crane-kick him in the face. - What?!
303
00:14:14,046 --> 00:14:16,139
- But that's not even my move!
- I...
304
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,199
We have to stop him.
305
00:14:17,215 --> 00:14:19,588
- Barney! - I...
- Come on, come on, come on.
306
00:14:19,615 --> 00:14:21,748
So, we all run out
to the parking lot
307
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,537
to stop Gary Blauman from
leaving the wedding...
308
00:14:25,523 --> 00:14:26,963
What are you doing?
309
00:14:27,612 --> 00:14:29,382
This is my place.
310
00:14:29,947 --> 00:14:31,466
Oh.
311
00:14:31,732 --> 00:14:33,666
So, uh...
312
00:14:33,693 --> 00:14:36,459
well, I guess this... this
is where I leave you.
313
00:14:42,493 --> 00:14:44,600
This is your place.
314
00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:46,037
Yup.
315
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,845
You sure it's not a
few blocks that way?
316
00:14:48,874 --> 00:14:51,521
Nope, it's right here.
317
00:14:51,534 --> 00:14:53,481
It's right where
you picked me up.
318
00:14:53,508 --> 00:14:55,358
So it is.
319
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,444
Well...
320
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:01,690
- good night.
- Good night.
321
00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:04,534
Eight years earlier, I
probably would've given
322
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:07,833
some embarrassing speech, confessed
my love and scared her off.
323
00:15:07,852 --> 00:15:11,939
But I didn't. Because somehow I just
knew this was all gonna work out.
324
00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:13,977
- Ted?
- Oh, thank God.
325
00:15:18,077 --> 00:15:21,267
Do you at least want
to finish your story?
326
00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:23,698
Right.
327
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:27,156
So, we all ran out to
the parking lot, and...
328
00:15:27,846 --> 00:15:29,746
Blauman, Blauman,
I'm sorry.
329
00:15:29,766 --> 00:15:32,085
You can stay. Billy won't
kick you in the face.
330
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,172
It's not even my move. If I was gonna
do anything, I'd sweep the leg,
331
00:15:35,198 --> 00:15:37,287
and put you in a body bag;
Everyone knows that.
332
00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:40,149
What...? Is that from
one of your poems?
333
00:15:40,532 --> 00:15:42,185
Thank you for that.
334
00:15:42,214 --> 00:15:44,771
Please stick around,
for the bride.
335
00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:47,122
You're not a Taft.
Even if you are,
336
00:15:47,142 --> 00:15:48,793
Roosevelt shouldn't have
divided the party like that.
337
00:15:48,806 --> 00:15:50,152
I mean, he handed the
election to Wilson.
338
00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:52,018
- Completely, right?
- Right? Right?
339
00:15:53,471 --> 00:15:56,154
No, wait! No! All right?
Forget it!
340
00:15:56,768 --> 00:15:58,161
And, James,
341
00:15:58,186 --> 00:16:00,119
I'm sorry
about you and Tom.
342
00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:02,876
But you have to stop blaming
me for your own decisions.
343
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:06,395
Well, guys, take
a good look.
344
00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:09,797
This face you won't
be seeing again.
345
00:16:11,627 --> 00:16:13,156
Come...
346
00:16:14,386 --> 00:16:16,831
- The bri... the bri...
- Gary?
347
00:16:19,958 --> 00:16:21,540
He's really leaving.
348
00:16:21,552 --> 00:16:22,978
Hey, Barney.
349
00:16:23,573 --> 00:16:25,761
You still, uh, have
my wedding ring?
350
00:16:27,623 --> 00:16:28,936
Yeah.
351
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:32,836
I've got some work to do.
Excuse me.
352
00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:38,648
Blauman will cool off eventually.
We'll see him again.
353
00:16:38,661 --> 00:16:39,768
Of course we will.
354
00:16:39,784 --> 00:16:41,717
I don't know. I mean,
355
00:16:41,736 --> 00:16:43,789
we might really never
see him again.
356
00:16:43,815 --> 00:16:46,975
Because I remember at our wedding
looking out and thinking,
357
00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:49,998
"Man, everyone here
means so much to me."
358
00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:54,084
A bunch of those people, you
know, I haven't seen them since.
359
00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:55,903
And that's how
it goes, kids.
360
00:16:55,922 --> 00:16:58,496
The friends, neighbors,
drinking buddies
361
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:01,876
and partners in crime you love
so much when you're young,
362
00:17:01,892 --> 00:17:03,665
as the years go by,
363
00:17:03,694 --> 00:17:05,633
you just lose touch.
364
00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:11,912
That being said, I did manage
to keep track of a few people.
365
00:17:12,876 --> 00:17:15,236
Carl's still behind the
bar at MacLaren's.
366
00:17:15,249 --> 00:17:17,043
Hey, watch it over there.
367
00:17:17,055 --> 00:17:18,475
Yeah, watch it over there!
368
00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:20,390
It's become a
family business.
369
00:17:20,405 --> 00:17:23,581
Jeanette was arrested for mailing
jars of urine to Val Kilmer.
370
00:17:23,594 --> 00:17:25,035
No, not that Val Kilmer.
371
00:17:25,050 --> 00:17:26,717
She narrowly avoided
prison time,
372
00:17:26,738 --> 00:17:29,858
but did receive mandatory
psychological counseling.
373
00:17:29,878 --> 00:17:31,814
Hello, handsome.
374
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:36,358
I should say up front, I'm
not allowed to date my...
375
00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:37,564
Oh, what the hell.
376
00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:40,324
She and Kevin live
in Poughkeepsie now.
377
00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:43,277
Ranjit made a couple really
good stock picks, and, well,
378
00:17:43,303 --> 00:17:44,830
he owns the limo
service now.
379
00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,086
Bitterman, get the car.
380
00:17:47,113 --> 00:17:48,712
Getting the car, sir.
381
00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:51,272
Patrice has her own
drive-time radio show.
382
00:17:51,298 --> 00:17:53,125
People call in,
she gives advice.
383
00:17:53,144 --> 00:17:56,644
Because sometimes I just feel like
he never listens to me, you know?
384
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:59,023
Gosh, caller, that's
a real pickle.
385
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:00,664
You know, my grandma
always says...
386
00:18:00,691 --> 00:18:02,857
Damn it, Patrice,
I'm not finished!
387
00:18:02,887 --> 00:18:04,946
Sorry, sorry, go on.
388
00:18:04,965 --> 00:18:07,341
William Zabka became
the youngest poet ever
389
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:10,813
to win the American Humanities
Medal for Literature.
390
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:13,547
He's currently working on a
collection of travel essays.
391
00:18:13,571 --> 00:18:14,991
Hyah!
392
00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:17,372
Zoey pops up in the
news every now and then
393
00:18:17,395 --> 00:18:19,368
supporting some
cause or another.
394
00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:20,981
It doesn't always
go well for her.
395
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,992
The hawk is a
majestic creature!
396
00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:24,373
She means you no har...
397
00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:27,090
Aah, no! I'm your friend!
I'm helping you!
398
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:30,183
Still, it's nice knowing she's out
there fighting the good fight.
399
00:18:30,202 --> 00:18:31,815
Scooter's been
married for a while.
400
00:18:31,842 --> 00:18:35,182
Apparently, he met a girl at work,
and it was love at first sight.
401
00:18:35,202 --> 00:18:37,911
I guess something about her
helped him get over Lily.
402
00:18:37,937 --> 00:18:40,244
You look beautiful
today, Jasmine.
403
00:18:40,264 --> 00:18:41,671
Like every day.
404
00:18:41,694 --> 00:18:44,614
Move. I serve
sloppy joe now.
405
00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:47,354
Blitz struggled with a gambling
addiction for a while.
406
00:18:47,386 --> 00:18:49,973
But after a three-day bender
on the same slot machine,
407
00:18:49,993 --> 00:18:51,253
he finally kicked it.
408
00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:52,904
I got to get help.
409
00:18:58,735 --> 00:19:01,082
Yes!
410
00:19:01,095 --> 00:19:03,466
Aw, man!
411
00:19:03,488 --> 00:19:05,435
I'm not sure what
happened to Blah Blah.
412
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:08,103
But I'd like to think that
wherever she is, she...
413
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:10,283
Carol! Her name was Carol!
414
00:19:10,302 --> 00:19:11,736
Thank you.
415
00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:13,981
Sandy Rivers' inappropriate
office behavior
416
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,974
finally caught up with him,
ending his news career...
417
00:19:16,995 --> 00:19:18,055
in America.
418
00:19:29,895 --> 00:19:32,014
He hasn't changed.
419
00:19:32,027 --> 00:19:36,283
It took some doing, but James finally
convinced Tom to take him back.
420
00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:39,963
And nobody's happier
about it than their kids.
421
00:19:40,518 --> 00:19:44,483
Hey, kids, have I ever told
you how I met your father?
422
00:19:44,996 --> 00:19:46,603
It was at a party.
423
00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:49,730
And as for Blauman...
424
00:19:52,435 --> 00:19:54,422
Guys, wait!
425
00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:56,129
I'm sorry for storming
off like that.
426
00:19:56,142 --> 00:19:58,009
I don't want to
miss this wedding.
427
00:19:58,029 --> 00:19:59,582
You will be shocked, kids,
428
00:19:59,595 --> 00:20:01,672
when you discover how
easy it is in life
429
00:20:01,698 --> 00:20:04,473
to part ways with
people forever.
430
00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:09,149
That's why when you find someone
you want to keep around,
431
00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:10,912
you do something about it.
432
00:20:10,931 --> 00:20:12,909
So, I guess...
433
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:15,368
good night.
434
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,109
Good night.
435
00:20:36,606 --> 00:20:38,559
Unless...
436
00:20:38,577 --> 00:20:41,639
do you want to walk around
some more? It's still early.
437
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:45,734
Sure.
438
00:20:51,847 --> 00:20:53,640
What are you doing?
439
00:20:55,973 --> 00:20:57,927
Remembering this.
440
00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:01,649
Come on.
441
00:21:06,869 --> 00:21:11,869
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther