Lucifer was the biggest monster ever hatched,
until you and I hatched one that's even worse.
I was the beginning and I will be the end.
I will be all that there is.
You're taking people's lives.
If you resist, each and every angel in the skies will smite you.
Can you really beat her?
- I can. - Then yes.
Lucifer.
Bloody hell.
What about you, little puppy?
Use your tongue.
The Hand of God, a superweapon.
Do you think we can use it against Amara?
What is this?
The Rod of Aaron.
A Hand of God?
If we're gonna fight her, what better way to arm up
than with an actual dose of his power?
It's kicked.
You're out of juice, huh?
We've got jack on another Hand of God
and we've got even less jack on how to save Cass.
- Yeah, if he wants to be saved. - He does.
Noel. I came when you asked.
Looking a trifle peaky.
Do you truly have it?
And it's yours,
if you hold up your end of the bargain.
I've had a good life, thanks to you.
Very few of the world's secrets I haven't cracked.
It seemed worth a soul at the time.
Oh, it always does.
Destroy that thing.
Show me the object, first.
A shofar,
the Horn of Joshua, touched by the Hand of God.
Easy. Easy, there.
It's authentic, I can feel it.
Now tear that thing up.
Thank God.
I don't think I have long.
How very prescient of you.
Amateurs.
Are you not hearing me?
I said I have in my possession the solution to our collective problems!
You should be doing a jig.
I don’t jig.
Now, how do I know you even escaped Lucifer,
and he's not making you say all this?
Honestly, your cynicism is depressing.
Why would Lucifer force me to discuss the very means of his destruction?
What're you talking about?
A weapon. One that channels divinity.
Yes, powerful enough to help destroy a force like The Darkness.
Or Lucifer. Tell me you haven't been searching for such a thing.
A Hand of God? Of course we have.
Thought as much. St. Louis, the old post office on Beekman.
Crowley...
Sam!
How do I know that any of this is working?
I don't feel any different.
For all of your promises.
I warn you, I'm not one to be trifled with.
That's enough for now, poor wee thing.
But you're coming along.
I'll heal you, just as I promised.
And who are you, again?
One who communes with the natural forces
and channels them to help the less fortunate,
such as yourself.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
You're his mother.
Say what, dear?
Uncle Crowley's mother.
"Uncle"?
He tried controlling me when I was a child.
Did he send you to bring me back?
Heavens, no, my son and I loathe each other.
Then why are you helping me?
Because you're going to win, my dear.
Yes, I know all about the grievance
between you and your brother and his archangel.
I have my own ax to grind with Lucifer.
You know him?
"Know" him?
And yet you live.
Aye. Like yourself, I'm a survivor.
A hard life has taught me to be prepared.
I long ago secreted within my person a wee casket of powerful magic.
When the spell inside me sensed my life force ebbing,
it went to work.
And I was revived.
Where is Lucifer now?
He's hidden himself from me, and I, too, have a score to settle.
All in good time.
Right now, you're still weak from that pesky angel smiting.
And you can fix that?
Och, aye, and so much more.
You can destroy your enemies and, I imagine,
remake the world any way you choose.
And I will be by your side.
Nice digs.
The Crypt Keeper out of town?
I'm lucky to be alive.
Lucifer had me trussed up like a dog in my own palace!
"Palace"?
Oh, you mean the abandoned nuthouse.
He kept me in a kennel!
And he turned all his demons...
My demons, against me.
They scour the earth, day and night, looking to kill me.
He has to be dealt with.
So is this why you brought us here? Some lousy grudge match with Lucifer?
Yeah, where's this, uh, Hand of God you were talking about?
I'm getting to that.
Your only hope of subduing Amara
is to match the level of power that she possesses.
No kidding. And?
And I have the Horn of Joshua.
Joshua?
As in the Joshua that won the Battle of Jericho?
And I'm willing to entrust it to your capable hands.
What? I just said I'd give you the thing.
If...
Is this how you say "thank you"?
You think these things grow on bloody trees?
Cut the crap, Crowley. With you, there's always an "if."
Fine, I will give you the Horn,
if you help me exorcise Lucifer from Castiel's vessel
and then return him immediately to the cage.
Oh, that's all? Huh.
Okay, and where is this horn?
- Safely hidden, naturally. - Yeah.
Crowley, even if we could exorcise Lucifer out of Cass,
the cage is damn near impenetrable.
It took a spell from The Book of the Damned
to spring Lucifer, and Rowena hid the book.
And we would need both the book and her to even have a shot.
Did I say this would be easy? No, I did not.
Do you even know where Rowena is?
Rotting somewhere, I assume.
Lucifer snapped her neck.
Lucifer.
Jofiel!
How's it hanging?
Easy, there.
So perfect. Castiel, one of Heaven's most wanted,
possessed by Heaven's most hated.
I come in peace.
I just want to be a part of the action again.
I want to lend a hand.
Brothers!
Okay, guys, so, trying to smite The Darkness was a bust, huh?
You had all of the power of Heaven behind you,
couldn't even slow the bitch down.
Well, no need to feel like abject losers.
You learned a valuable lesson here.
You need me.
All right. Not giddy with awe.
You exploded Jofiel.
Or did Jofiel explode himself?
Just sayin'.
God cast you out of Heaven.
And who do you think spread that tabloid headline?
It was Captain G, the Eternal One.
And why?
Because I didn't buy into his obsessive, compulsive love for mankind.
Mankind is his creation.
Oh, come on.
It's not like he invented the Prius, which actually works.
I don't have to tell you people what a mess mankind is.
The Salem Witch Trials,
Third Reich,
Twin Towers.
Sure, every once in a while, he'll send down
a little plague to straighten them out,
but it's nothing permanent.
Humanity brought us Hiroshima and got a redo.
I merely question his priorities,
and I got the boot.
He said you're evil.
Incarnate.
Evil incarnate.
It's marketing.
He's creating a need in the consumer's mind.
You can't be a super-savior if you don't have a supervillain.
So what are you offering?
Well, a way out of this pickle.
By pickle, you mean The Darkness.
You can reason with her?
Well, doubt that.
But I can lock her away.
This time for good.
Done it before.
Oh, Pops didn't tell you that, huh?
Once you've gotten rid of her,
you'll want to...
Stay around?
I like the way you think.
Man, am I jazzed.
Hey, if it makes you comfy,
could call me God.
Hold on, okay, let's just put it in reverse.
We will put Lucifer back in the cage,
after we put Amara back on ice.
It has to happen in that order, otherwise there is no Lucifer,
there is no cage, there's no nothing.
He's spent years marinating in hate against us.
- He has to go. - Problem is...
We may need him.
He's been down this road with Amara before.
He might be the only one powerful enough to use the Horn against...
He had me cleaning the floors.
With my tongue. He called me puppy. He made me beg.
All right, come on. Is this what this is about, huh?
Your stupid ego?
The fact that he dissed you in front of a bunch of stupid demons?
- You're smarter than this, come on. - Dean's right.
Priority is to put the Horn in Lucifer's hands and set him loose on Amara.
After we exorcise Lucifer out of Cass and put him into a new vessel.
What?
- Really? - Yes, really.
We're not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Cass.
- What if he doesn't make it? - Dean, it's a strong vessel.
It's held Cass for years, and we know what he's been through.
- I'm guessing it can hold Lucifer. - It?
It's not an it, Sam, it's Cass.
And Cass wanted to do this.
Yeah, well, there's times I wanna get slapped during sex
by a girl wearing a Zorro mask, that don't make it a good idea.
Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves.
We make the... The heart choice, instead of the smart choice.
Oh, okay, thank you, Dr. Phil. Cass is family.
Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected.
- Even if it kills him? - It's killing me.
I would rather stick white hot skewers in my eyes
than listen to you two bitches bicker.
I gave you the terms of my deal.
If Lucifer's not back in the cage, the Horn stays hidden.
The vessel is healing nicely.
Soon you'll be shipshape and Bristol fashion.
You seem pleased with my progress.
But I don't sense in you the capacity for kindness
OF concern.
Kindness gets you a hug,
not a seat at the big boy's table.
And what is it you want?
Like yourself, I want revenge on Lucifer.
But more than that,
I want to be there when you remake the universe to your taste.
Oh.
I'm told my tastes run towards the catastrophic.
Aye, the Winchesters say you are all about destruction.
The Winchesters are right.
But...
What they call destruction,
I call renovation.
My blueprints,
- not God's. - That's my girl.
Do things the way you would've done them.
I will.
And where do you fit into that?
Oh, I can be useful.
Provide you with information
on the troublesome brothers and Lucifer, their plans.
And even if it is born out of my own self-interest,
I care about you.
I'm someone you can talk with, confide in.
Have you ever had that?
I've always been alone.
Oh, you don't have to be, darling.
Well.
Whatever you're doing, it seems to be working.
Maybe I should try a little test.
Thank you. Hey, I like your spunk.
There's always room for a go-getter in my organization.
Hey, I know I can count on you, but what about your people?
They on board or need to do a little wing-twisting?
I'll have to think about it.
Don't think about it too long.
You know what they say, "He who hesitates, disintegrates."
You know, this is a dick move, Crowley, even for you.
You're not being reasonable.
I don't need to be reasonable, I'm the King.
You look great. You been working out?
Hear me!
What the hell was that?
You know what, fellows? I think that's her.
And that was a little payback, ladies and gents.
I don't think Auntie Amara appreciated your little half-assed smiting.
And guess what? This?
This is just a teeny taste of what's to come.
So, clearly, my expertise is gonna come in handy.
'Cause God knows what's next.
Ouch.
I almost forgot. Um...
God doesn't care.
Okay.
I'm back.
Okay, so now we all just saw what happens when she's in a bad mood.
Which, apparently, she's been in since the dawn of time.
And then, she just rattled Heaven with a flick of her pinkie finger.
That's not a big enough dose of reality for you?
Why are we arguing? We all know he has to go back in the cage.
Yes, when it makes sense.
Amare is the bigger picture here, okay?
Look, in order to take her out, Lucifer has got to have the Horn of Joshua.
He does her, we do him. Check, please.
Well? What are the Winchesters preparing to do?
Nothing. Paralyzed with fear, they don't know what to do.
You're right.
You're actually handy to have around.
Thanks.
Lovely of you to say.
Crowley, tick tock. You with us?
The crux of your dispute is your contention
that Lucifer, and only Lucifer, can use the Horn to beat Amara. Right?
- You got it. - Well, that scenario only works
if you actually possess said Horn, which you do not.
No, we don't, but you do, so...
Exactly. I do.
This isn't a negotiation.
I have the high cards and you have...
Hold on, give me a second. Let me have a look.
No cards.
My offer stands.
When we sprung Lucifer from the cage, we had Rowena and The Book of the Damned,
both of which we will need to put him back in the cage.
- Both of which are gone. - Guys.
- Back to you. - Guys.
Look at this.
- I hate this. - Yeah.
By the way, where the hell is Crowley?
I mean, we're essentially all set up.
Yeah, I mean, he's the one that boxed us into doing this.
- You'd think he'd have the decency to... - Show up?
He does.
Because without the bait,
well, a trap really isn't a trap, is it?
That's it?
Doesn't look like much, does it?
First impressions can be deceiving, Moose.
For instance, I once thought of you as dull and plodding.
No, never mind, bad analogy.
For the record, we still think this is a bad idea.
We should be using Lucifer, not icing him.
I'm aware.
So I'll be standing right here, should you hesitate.
The hand that giveth can so quickly taketh away.
Yes, we get-eth, it.
So, Mummy,
you were telling us your fascinating tale of resurrection.
But you never did say exactly where you'd been this whole time.
Same as you, Fergus.
Hiding. Once the Dark Prince knew I was alive, I wouldn't be.
No mucking about like last time.
The warding and the holy fire
won't keep an archangel but for a moment.
- If he shows up at all. - Oh, he'll show.
Yeah, he's too hungry to take Amara out and we've got the blaster to do it.
I summon you to make an offer.
The weapon by which its bearer can crush The Darkness forever.
Sam, now.
I'm sorry.
Your prayer implied that I'd be joining the team,
but I'm just not feeling the warm and fuzzy here.
Wow.
There it is,
powered up by Dad himself.
Well, that bad boy plus me, that ought to take her out, all right.
Let's get to it.
Douse the flames.
Or don't.
Cass?
Castiel, show yourself.
- Dean? - Cass.
What are you doing? What's...
- What's going on? - Cass, listen to me.
We don't have a whole lot of time, okay? You've got to...
Cass?
Castiel, show yourself.
Whoo!
He's got to what?
You boys...
Ooh, you almost had me there for a minute,
but these mail order spells,
they're just not what they're cracked up to be. Are they?
Cass, expel him.
You got to kick Lucifer out. You hear me?
Honestly?
I think he's happy with the arrangement.
I mean, he did invite me in, and all, Dean.
- Cass. - "Cass."
Hand over the weapon, what do you say?
Or we can just wait for this warding to fail and I'll take it.
Bloody hell.
Is it going to be all right?
It's going to be all right.
You bet.
Dear friends, it is going to be all right. It's going to be all right...
Castiel?
Hmm, Crowley? What are you doing here?
Is this the Winchesters' kitchen?
Sort of.
I come here in my mind to pass the time.
For some reason it has excellent reception.
What's wrong with you?
What has Lucifer done to you?
Oh. Nothing, mostly just leaves me alone.
I'm just waiting here, you know, for the battle with The Darkness.
He's really got his hooks in you.
Snap out of it.
Do you know what's happening out there?
The Winchesters have trapped the abomination
so that you can expel him, so that they can put him back the cage.
That doesn't sound like a very good idea.
In your current state, you're in no position to judge.
Wait, that was Dean I saw a minute ago, wasn't it?
Yes.
And he wants me to expel Lucifer?
Yes.
Well...
He may have a more objective view of the situation.
- Maybe I should. - So, let's do it.
Now. Before it's too late.
It already is.
Really, Crowley?
You wanna put me back in the cage?
Well, I'm not going anywhere.
And neither are you.
You know he's been gone a long time. I mean, what do you think's going on?
I don't know. Maybe Cass isn't willing to play ball.
I mean, you said it yourself. He wanted this.
Can't you people do anything right?
Whilst all this dithering goes on, we're losing time.
Look. The warding's beginning to fail.
Come on, Cass. What the hell.
You second-rate bean counter.
Guys, you're gonna break something.
You wanted my throne.
Tried to replace me.
As if ambition and posturing were the same as majesty.
Leave.
Everyone in Hell despises you
and sees you for exactly what you are.
Nothing.
- Crowley? - Useless.
Lucifer's hold on him is too strong.
Lads, the fire.
Trick me?
You lied to me.
You know, I could've been your warrior.
Ah.
Who needs you?
Well.
It's just like Crowley to leave right when the party is getting started.
Have a seat.
As much as I get a giggle out of you two,
and I do,
there comes a time when every relationship has run its course.
So......
Oh... Lucifer.
Dear nephew.
My, how you've changed.
I was tracking her when she left my side.
You were safely sealed away.
You're going to wish you'd stayed there.
I think you and I need to have a nice long chat.
Cass.
So, Rowena and Crowley,
like mother, like son, huh?
They both took exactly one split second to take off when things started going south.
- Yep. - Here.
By the way, what's Rowena doing with Amara?
My guess, she's playing the odds.
When sucking up to Lucifer didn't work out,
maybe she thought Amara was the best bet.
Then she heard Lucifer had a shot, so she switched horses again.
I thought Lucifer had a shot.
Apparently, uh, archangel plus God power doesn't trump God sister.
But if the thing has to be used by God's chosen,
then maybe an archangel who got the boot doesn't qualify.
Either way, the Horn's out of ammo, so...
- So, we're back to square one? - Yep.
Listen, urn...
I know I came down on the side of wanting Cass to deal with Amara,
- 80... - That's what he wanted though, right?
Besides, didn't we say that we were gonna swear off
getting in the way when one person makes a choice the other doesn't agree with?
Yeah, um...
Yeah, we did say that.
So......
Okay. So that's our policy.
Which sounds damn good.
Well, let's go find that idiot and bring him home.
Okay.
Look,
I know you have a major beef with me.
You probably wanna finish me.
But you may want to rethink your position.
'Cause I could actually be of use to you.
- Really? - You hadn't considered?
We both have an ax to grind with God.
I know his soft spots.
He can't handle us both.
Do you for one moment think that I would actually consider trusting you?
For anything?
I did trust you once.
You and my brother conspired to seal me away for eons.
But you're right.
You might be of some use to me.
All right.
Good.
Now we're talkin'.
As God's favorite,
his first son, you may be the one thing in all of creation that he still cares about.
The one thing that could finally make him show himself.
So that I can confront him.
And he can acknowledge the wrongs he has done me.
And then,
he can witness the utter destruction
of all his creation
before he himself is swept away.
You're expecting him? Huh.
Well...
I wouldn't wait up.
I'm pretty sure he caught the last train out.
Well...
We'll see, won't we?
English - SDH