1 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,360 Give it to me straight. 2 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,720 Virginal bride, or... 3 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,560 - ...slut in white? Ha, ha. - Ha, ha. 4 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,720 He is so lucky. 5 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,800 You okay in there? 6 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,440 I feel sick. 7 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,160 Oh. 8 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,720 You're getting nervous. 9 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,320 You remember last year when Jesse and I broke up for a couple of weeks... 10 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,800 ...and, uh, I thought she spent those two weeks in bed... 11 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,520 ...sad and depressed? 12 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,360 - Yeah. - This morning she tells me... 13 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,840 ...out of the blue that she spent one of those weeks in bed with Jake Lee. 14 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,160 - What did you do? - Nothing. 15 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,720 Good. That's good. So, what's wrong? 16 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,920 She slept with Jake Lee. 17 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,760 She slept with him for like a week. 18 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,120 How am I supposed to live with that? What if all this is a mistake? 19 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,040 Come on, you would've known that by now. 20 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,120 - Am I overreacting? - Yes, you are. 21 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,480 Come on, man, it's not like she actually cheated. 22 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,080 I mean, you know, you had broken up. 23 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:23,600 Right. 24 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,440 What would you do? 25 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:29,160 I'd be happy, man. Ha, ha. 26 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,400 I mean, it's Jesse. Everyone you know wants Jesse. 27 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,400 - What do you mean by that? - I didn't... I didn't... 28 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,560 Ahem. I didn't mean it like that. I just, uh... 29 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,200 Look, you wanted this, right? 30 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,320 So, pull yourself together, go out there and get married. 31 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,480 Ed? 32 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:01,240 Mr. Allen. 33 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,680 You caught me reminiscing. A lot of memories here. 34 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,240 Buy you a drink? 35 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,800 Oh, I'd love to, Frank, but I'm kind of... I'm in a bit of a rush. 36 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,160 I insist. 37 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,680 After all, it is the traditional function of the father of the bride. 38 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:15,960 What is? 39 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,880 Keeping the groom away from back exits. 40 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:22,080 No, I was just gonna go outside, get some air. 41 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,760 Your best tequila, on the rocks. Come over here a second. 42 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,200 - It's tequila, right? - Uh, none for me, thanks. 43 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,120 That's great. He'll have a double. 44 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,800 You know, I realize that you don't know me very well, Ed. 45 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,840 You and Jesse down at school, my wife and I here, but trust me... 46 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,000 ...you can talk to me. 47 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,040 Nothing really to talk about, sir. 48 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:40,600 Doubts? 49 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,680 No, no. No doubts. Uh, no doubt in my mind. 50 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,880 I'm totally doubt-free. I'm, uh... I'm doubtless. 51 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,600 Yeah. 52 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,320 I'll tell you what. Ahem. 53 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,280 Why don't we make a little list, shall we? 54 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,400 Let's start with doubt number one. 55 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,000 Uh, none. 56 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,480 No, I promise. None. Uh, number one is "none." 57 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,440 Oh, come on, we can do better than that. 58 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,320 What about that thing with Jake Lee? 59 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,240 - She told you that? - Two weeks, last year. 60 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,000 Two weeks? She told me a week. 61 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,360 One, two, most of Lent, that's hardly the point. 62 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,600 That's not why you're eyeing the exit. 63 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,760 Jake Lee's an excuse. 64 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,880 Tell me something, Ed. 65 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,000 Do you love her? 66 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,840 Yeah, of course I do. 67 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,160 Then maybe, just maybe, you're wondering... 68 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,400 ...why it isn't pure and constant. 69 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,800 Why all of these ups and downs. Conviction, then doubt? 70 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,720 How can something that feels so right one moment... 71 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,360 ...make you so queasy the next? 72 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,480 Relax. 73 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,600 Life is a mess. 74 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:56,120 All you have to do is choose to love her the best way that you know how. 75 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,200 You know, I've really gotta get out of here. Um... 76 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,240 Thank you for the advice and the drink... 77 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,280 You know, I've had a marriage of ups and downs. 78 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,680 Oof. 79 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,720 Dazzling extremes. Perhaps you've never heard the full account? 80 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,920 Frankly, Frank, another time. 81 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,640 - Maybe Christmas? - Not really a Christmas story. 82 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,320 Tell you what. 83 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,320 One says "walk." 84 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,040 And the other says "talk." 85 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,520 Pick one. You choose. 86 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,840 Pick the one that says "walk" and you'll be free of me. 87 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,240 Pick the one that says "talk" and, well... 88 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,400 You're kidding, right? 89 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,960 No. 90 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,200 I get the feeling sometimes, Mr. Allen, that you don't like me very much. 91 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,200 I like Jake Lee. 92 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,160 But my daughter loves you. 93 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,240 Which means you have a great capacity to hurt her. 94 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,280 And you've never done a damn thing to prove to me that you won't. 95 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,640 Like I said, my marriage... 96 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,520 ...has been one of extremes. 97 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,200 Certainty and doubt. Deceit and truth. 98 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,000 But it started with truth. 99 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,640 And it started right here in this hotel. 100 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,160 In this very room. 101 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,000 - Hey! - Hey. 102 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,600 - How you doing, man? - Good. 103 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,720 - Resolutions, huh? - Yeah. 104 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,480 I always make mine on December 29th. 105 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,880 That way I only have 48 hours to feel bummed about not keeping them. 106 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,080 - Cheers. - Cheers. 107 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,720 Hey, have you seen Susan yet? 108 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,360 Uh, no, she's always late. Have you seen her lately? 109 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,760 No, not since Teddy's party last week. 110 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,320 Teddy had a party? 111 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:03,920 - Yeah. - Yeah. 112 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,040 - Was she there with anyone, or, uh? - No, not really. 113 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,200 Oh. Which is it? "Not" or, uh, "really"? 114 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,280 It's hard to say. 115 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,240 Careful, Frank, she'll leave nothing but your bones. 116 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,400 - Cheers. - Cheers. 117 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,640 - Amen. - Amen. 118 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,840 All right, okay. Resolutions, who's got one? 119 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,840 - Sherri? - Thank you. Take off five pounds. 120 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,640 - Oh, come on. - Take it off now. 121 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,440 - Your turn, Frank. - Okay. I, uh... 122 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,280 I resolve to be bolder. 123 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,480 What a dick. God. 124 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,720 Well, I resolve to fall in love. 125 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,520 Okay. This is getting a little kinky now, kids. 126 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,440 - That's pretty ambitious. - I am almost holding your hand. 127 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,640 Okay, next, next. Who, who? 128 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,640 - Come on, Susan. - Okay, okay. Uh, um... 129 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:35,720 I resolve to buy a motorcycle. A red Harley. 130 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,160 Nice. Nothing nicer or sexier than a chick on a hog. 131 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,240 I resolve to stop you from doing that. 132 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,360 Why? Don't you like motorcycles or something? 133 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,720 It's just that 95 percent of riders get injured in the first six months. 134 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,560 - Here we go. - You memorized the stats? 135 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,800 And 55 percent of riders get seriously injured. 136 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,240 But it gets better than that. 137 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,160 Do you know what doctors call riders that don't wear a helmet? 138 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,400 - No, tell us. - Sexy. 139 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,360 Organ donors. 140 00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,920 Organ donors. Yeah. 141 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,520 Just, look, promise me that you'll always wear a helmet. 142 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,280 Somebody take the pole out of his ass. Frank, come on, you gotta loosen up, man. 143 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,080 - You take the pole. - Okay, so I have another resolution. 144 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,560 - An even better one, I think. - It better be better. 145 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,400 - Does anyone wanna hear it? - Come on. 146 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:17,800 Okay. So, um, I resolve to... 147 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:18,960 ...find a husband. 148 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,920 - What? - Yeah. I'm afraid so. It's true. 149 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:27,480 And, um, uh, I've decided to pick from my friends. 150 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:31,840 You know, I don't wanna marry a stranger or anything. So, um... 151 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,920 - Who wants to be my husband? - I do. 152 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,200 - I'll do it. - Me, me, me. 153 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,800 Shit. Oh, God. How will I ever choose? 154 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,840 - By size. By size, boys. - By size of what, exactly? 155 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,880 - Whatever pleases you the most. - I don't like guesswork, Buddy. 156 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,520 - There won't be any guesswork involved. - You just keep Mr. Ed in your pants. 157 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,160 Oh, my God. That's actually what you call it. Mr. Ed? 158 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,720 - That's charming. - Wait, that's it. That's perfect. 159 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,160 What could be more revealing about a man? Best nickname for your dick... 160 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,200 ...becomes my husband. 161 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,320 Right. Okay, so who's first? Come on. 162 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,760 Ken, what do you got for me? 163 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,320 Come on, baby. 164 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,960 Is it too hard of a question for you or something? 165 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,280 - Uh, okay. - What's her name? 166 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,960 I call him... 167 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,680 ...Squeaky the Bald-Headed Mouse. 168 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,160 - Oh, my God, you don't. - Because he likes holes. 169 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,000 - Are you serious? - There's an animal theme going on here. 170 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,360 - Buddy? Come on. - You already know, come on. 171 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,160 What? 172 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,880 It's Master of the Universe, Defender of our Galaxy. 173 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,960 Oh, shit, man. 174 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,000 Couldn't it be "God Almighty" or something? 175 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,440 - Uh, well, that's my tongue, actually. - Oh, God. Whatever. 176 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,320 - Okay, Frank? - Truth. 177 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,680 - Yeah, come on, spit it out. - The truth. 178 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,520 That's... That's what I call it. 179 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,320 Truth. 180 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,160 I'm sorry it's not a farm animal. I'm sorry. 181 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,400 - You should be. - Ten, nine... 182 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,840 ...eight, seven, six, five... 183 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,400 ...four, three, two, one. 184 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,800 Happy New Year! 185 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,240 It was always gonna be you. 186 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,360 - Uhh... - Daddy. 187 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,640 - What is that? - It's your daughter. 188 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,400 No. 189 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,560 I don't have a daughter this early. 190 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,200 - Whatever's there, kill it. - Hurry. 191 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,360 - It's wide awake. - We're gonna miss the sun. 192 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,840 Okay, okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going. 193 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,560 Go away. 194 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,880 - Hurry, Daddy. - Let's let Mommy sleep. 195 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,120 - Hurry. - Okay. 196 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,160 Come on. 197 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,320 Okay, okay, okay. 198 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,400 Ready? 199 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,000 To give a good speech. 200 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,720 Your turn. 201 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,680 Nice writing. 202 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:35,760 I wish, I wish, upon the sun, that my wish is number one. 203 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,120 And what did you wish for? 204 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,120 That Mary Ross will get hit by a truck. 205 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:44,120 Well, that's not very nice. I thought Mary was your best friend. 206 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,360 - I divorced her. - You can't divorce a friend. 207 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,160 - Why not? - Because divorce is for married people. 208 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,520 That's okay. As long as a truck hits her. 209 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,360 All right, killer, come on. 210 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,440 - Let's go dogpile Mommy. - Yay. 211 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:04,160 Shoot. Hey, Monster, have you seen my morning list? 212 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,320 You need a list to keep track of your lists. 213 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,400 Oh, thank you. 214 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,560 No, honey, that's all sugar and food coloring. 215 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,120 You've had enough. Go get dressed. 216 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,240 "Conscious". Is it "sc" or "cs"? Stop right there. 217 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,920 Come and give me a kiss, please. I got a big lecture today. 218 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,000 - I'll be home in the morning. I love you. - I love you, too, Dad. 219 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,480 All right. 220 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,480 Don't forget to return the movies. 221 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,760 - Movies? - Mm-hm. 222 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,080 No, no, no. I can't. 223 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,000 Would you, um, do it if it was on that list? 224 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,880 - Of course I would. - Give me your pen. 225 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,560 - Ah, ah. No, I don't have time. - It's on your way. 226 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,240 - I can't be late for the ferry, so... - What time do you have to leave the house? 227 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,280 - Eighteen after. - Eighteen after is not a time. 228 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:57,920 - It's a symptom. It's like a twitch. - Well, you used to find it adorable. 229 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,920 Yeah, well, I used to pound Jägermeister. 230 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,120 Anyway, you won't be late. 231 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,280 - Yes, I will. - No, you won't. 232 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:12,640 - You didn't. - I did. 233 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,280 - Oh, shit. - What? I've given you an extra ten minutes. 234 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,280 No, you didn't. You set it the wrong way. You've given me ten minutes less. 235 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,040 Oh, shit. 236 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,040 - I'm sure you'll be fine. - Yeah. 237 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,520 Bye. 238 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,720 You forgot the movies. 239 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,160 - Hello? - Hey, it's Buddy. Is Frank there? 240 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,480 - He just left. - I might be late. 241 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,800 - So might he. - Frank? I don't think that's possible. 242 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,440 Don't drag him into anything unsavory tonight. 243 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,360 What do you consider unsavory? 244 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,040 Anything that might lead to a rash. 245 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,840 - What are you wearing? - Buddy. 246 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,440 - Come on. - I'm naked, Buddy. 247 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,440 Thank you. 248 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,560 We're okay. 249 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,760 We're okay. No, no, no. 250 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,600 Come on. No, no, no, you're kidding me. 251 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:16,280 Please, please, please. No, no. Check the time. I'm right here, please. 252 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,480 Hey, congratulations. You'll be the first one on the next boat. 253 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,680 God, come on. Look, sir, please, I'm begging you right now. 254 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,560 There's plenty of room on the ferry. Just let me drive it on. 255 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:30,160 Please. I beg you, I have a speech. My wife, the movies... Aargh! 256 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,120 Next boat leaves in an hour. This boat leaves at eight o'clock. 257 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,120 Oh, look at that, it's eight o'clock. 258 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,400 Next boat, pal. Schedule to keep, you know. 259 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,520 The relationship between time and you... 260 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,480 ...is always one of master and slave. Ahem. 261 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,320 List-making. 262 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,160 It is your anchor, your harbor in the storm of life. 263 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,480 Start each morning with your wish for the day. 264 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,960 And then move right on into your daily goal list. 265 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,440 And remember to keep them in behavioral terms, and to be specific. 266 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,360 Why? Because a specific list... 267 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,520 ...is a happy list. 268 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,160 And don't forget, it's chaos out there. 269 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,840 And we conquer that by taking control, setting priorities. 270 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,600 Life cannot be based on whim. 271 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,360 Those who fail to control whim... 272 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,800 ...are destined to be controlled by it. 273 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,600 Thank you. 274 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,800 Hey, back in the city. 275 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,400 - Good to see you, man. - Yeah. 276 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,200 Excellent talk, by the way. That was truly inspirational. 277 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,080 I saw you come in. 278 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,920 Yeah. My old man wasn't through busting my ass... 279 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,840 ...for being late on the Bethnal job. 280 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,960 Do you have any idea how many windows are in a building that size? 281 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,280 I don't know. Fifty? 282 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,160 Something wrong in Camp Frank? 283 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,520 No. Ahem. 284 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,840 - What? - It's a little complicated, that's all. 285 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,640 That's all right. No, that's okay. I like knowing your life isn't totally perfect. 286 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,880 - Okay, look. You know this talk today? - Yeah. 287 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,600 It's a big break for me in the corporate lecture circuit. 288 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,280 Susan. Susan. She knows how important this is to me. 289 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,520 She knows how nervous I get before a talk... 290 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,080 ...yet she doesn't say anything, not a word, you know. 291 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,680 Instead, she gets all over me about my schedule. 292 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,080 She sets the clocks forward to give me more time... 293 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,000 ...only she gives me less time and I end up missing the ferry. 294 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,800 Now, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is... 295 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,280 ...to show up late to a lecture on the efficient use of time? 296 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,080 - She actually set the clock forward? - Actually set the clock forward. 297 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,080 - Ha, ha. Oh, man, that's good. - Yeah, it's very funny. 298 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,640 Come on, man. She's just trying to unwind you a bit. 299 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,480 I'm not a clock. I'm not wound. Stop saying that. 300 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,840 Look, not everything in your life needs to be ordered, Frank. 301 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,000 You know, if you don't take any chances, you never try anything new. 302 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,880 That's not true. Yeah, I take plenty of chances. 303 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,680 Great. Let's ask those chicks if they want to go play some blackjack with us. 304 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,600 - That's not taking a chance. - Why not? 305 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,920 - Because. - Because? 306 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,960 Because everybody knows... 307 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,120 ...that the house advantage for blackjack is 5.9 percent. 308 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,800 And that doesn't make sense. 309 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,880 - Five point nine percent, huh? - Yeah. 310 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,120 - I thought we were hanging out. - Yeah, we just did, and it was fun. 311 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,720 But if you're not gonna take a chance, then there's two of them and one of me. 312 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,760 I like those odds. 313 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,560 Hi, ladies. That's my friend Frank over there. 314 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,680 I was at your lecture today. It's not bad. 315 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,200 Thank you. Ha. 316 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,360 My boss forced me to read your book, The Ten Minute... 317 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,280 - It's five. - What? 318 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,280 - The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer. - Oh, right. Five. 319 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,840 - It worked. It totally worked. - Really? 320 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,640 I didn't expect that. Usually my boss is an idiot. So... 321 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,520 - It was amazing. I mean, I make lists. - That's great. 322 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,960 - They're color-coded. It's... - Yeah. It gets the life on track. 323 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,440 - Am I gushing? - I have no idea. 324 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,000 I'm Paula. Paula Crowe. 325 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,600 - I'm Frank. Frank Allen. Nice to meet you. - You too. 326 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:54,080 Would you like to try something a little bit different, Mr. Frank Allen? 327 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,760 Well, uh... 328 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:01,680 You know, uh, yeah. Yes, I would actually. 329 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:02,960 - Yeah? - Yep. 330 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,120 Two Tangerinis, please. 331 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,200 You know, you're very brave to be able to talk in front of so many people. 332 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,360 Mm. No. I, uh... 333 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,440 Every night before I give a talk, I get this nightmare... 334 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:27,240 ...that I'm giving a huge lecture and suddenly I notice that I'm naked. 335 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,960 Anyway. When I'm actually giving the talk for real, I reverse it. 336 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,960 I pretend that everyone in the audience is naked. That helps me breathe a little. 337 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,000 After today's crowd, I may reconsider that. 338 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,640 - Frank? - Mm? 339 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,120 - Can I ask you a big favor? - Mm. 340 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,320 I, uh, really, really have to go tinkle. 341 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:59,840 And I have this phobia about public restrooms. 342 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,720 - Would you...? - I have the same phobia. 343 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,080 - All my life. All my life. - Ha-ha-ha. Right? 344 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,480 Would you mind terribly if I use the bathroom in your room? 345 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,280 You're funny. 346 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,120 - Oops. - Check, please. 347 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,280 - Frank? - Yo. 348 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,520 You know when you said that you imagined everyone in the audience naked? 349 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,760 Oh, what's this? 350 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,760 Does that mean that you imagined me naked? 351 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:49,640 Yeah, married. Uh, going on eight years now. Yeah. 352 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,160 How did I look? 353 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,360 Uh, just one. Jesse, she's, uh, great. 354 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:59,160 We're talking about another one though, so... Whoo. 355 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,640 - This good? - Hoo. 356 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,360 Uh, wow. I'm gonna have some juice or something. 357 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,760 I made my daily goal list for today. 358 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,240 - It's very specific. - Yeah. Well, specific... 359 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,160 Because it's chaos out there and you conquer it... 360 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,360 ...by setting priorities and taking control. 361 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,560 Well, these aren't instant gratification priorities... 362 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,160 Yeah. We, uh... There's a system to it. 363 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,360 Oh, I'm gonna get that. Yep, yep, yep. Let me get that. 364 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,800 - Hello? - Hey. 365 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,360 Hey. 366 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,160 I'm sorry about this morning. How did the talk go? 367 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,120 Oh, uh, score one for the good guys. I aced it. 368 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,480 What was that? 369 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:49,560 Uh, nothing. I think, uh, I have no idea. So... 370 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,640 - Are you all right? - I'm fine, baby. 371 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,360 I'm just so exhausted right now... 372 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,440 ...and I love you, and I'm gonna see you tomorrow, okay? All right? 373 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,040 - Okay, okay. - Love you too. 374 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,920 You should've seen your face. 375 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:10,560 The way you squirmed, like a squashed little snake. 376 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,440 - I love married men. - Oh, my God. 377 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,640 Come here. How about the five more minutes of efficiency? 378 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,320 I don't feel well. I have a wife and a kid. I gotta go home. 379 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,720 Relax. It's too late to go anywhere. You missed the last ferry. 380 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:30,400 - I'll drive around the peninsula, it's fine. - Well, that would take forever. 381 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,400 - A waste of time. - Yeah. 382 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,200 Remember that the relationship between time and you... 383 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:39,640 - ...is always one of master and slave. - Watch it, watch it, watch it. 384 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,240 Look, I'm really, really sorry about this, okay? 385 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,480 Use the room as long as you want. Nothing personal. Honest. 386 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,480 I love my wife. 387 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,480 Jerk. 388 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:00,720 Hello? 389 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,000 - Hello? - Hello? 390 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,160 You're probably looking for Frank. 391 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,880 He just left on a mission of great secrecy. Sorry. 392 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,640 Pick a lane. God. 393 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,520 Oh! 394 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,560 - Oh, God. - Aargh! 395 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,400 - Are you okay? Are you okay? - Aah! 396 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,760 Can you unlock the door? Can you...? 397 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,320 Okay, what's wrong? Is it your head? You hit your head? 398 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,760 What's wrong with your stomach? There's something... 399 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,160 You're having a baby! 400 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,560 Fifteen minutes. We're gonna be there. 401 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,600 We're gonna be at the hospital in 15 minutes! Just hang in there. 402 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,640 - I'm Frank Allen. What's your name? - Nancy. 403 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,760 Nancy. Okay, Nancy. You're doing great. Just keep breathing, okay? 404 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,120 Breathe in, out, in, just think about how happy this child's gonna make you. 405 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,600 I don't... I don't want it. 406 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,360 Well, my thought is that you're gonna have it. 407 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,200 - So you know, just in, out. - You know what? 408 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,600 - Breathe in. - I want you to have it. You take it. 409 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,200 That's very generous of you, but no, thank you. 410 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:40,080 No, thank you... Okay, just hold it. Hold it! 411 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,360 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just, come on, we're almost there. 412 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,920 Oh, God! That's it, just keep breathing. Just... 413 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,720 Oh, it's just leaking everywhere. Okay. Just breathe. 414 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,200 Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm gonna need some information. 415 00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:00,000 - Information on you and your wife. - No, she's not my wife. 416 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,600 - Well, fill out what you can. - Okay. Lightheaded here. 417 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,040 - Hello? - Good day. 418 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,400 - May I speak with Mr. Allen, please? - No, Mr. Allen isn't home. 419 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,000 Do you know where he is? It's very important. 420 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,600 No, I don't. 421 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,040 It seems that Mrs. Allen is no longer on the hospital premises. 422 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,880 I'm Mrs. Allen. 423 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,320 Mrs. Allen. You're in no condition to have left the hospital. 424 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,040 Post-childbirth can be a very serious condition. 425 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,320 Post what? 426 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,760 - Your baby needs you. - What baby? 427 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,240 Do I have the right Allen? 428 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,280 I'm... I'm sorry. Who are you looking for? 429 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,760 Frank Allen of 17 River Drive. 430 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,600 Hello? 431 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,680 Mrs. Allen? Hello? 432 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,000 - Get out. - What? 433 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,200 - I said, get out. - Why? What'd I do? 434 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:19,120 - No, don't give me that. See, I know. - I have no idea what you're talking about. 435 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,320 - You're a liar. - Okay... 436 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,480 - You're a liar! - Aah! Ooh! 437 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,280 God! Okay, okay, listen, listen, listen, I made a small mistake. 438 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,520 - Oh, God! - Wait! Susan! 439 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,680 I didn't do anything really wrong! It was a professional flirtation! 440 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:36,280 Is this what you've been getting up to all these dumb business trips of yours? 441 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,480 She was a nobody! Yelling! Yelling! Yelling! 442 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,280 - Okay! - Oh, God! 443 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,320 All right, there was a small chaste-like kiss, more of a peck. 444 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,120 - I've been up the whole night. - There was some tongue, not my tongue. 445 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,040 - You've been boning some woman? - You called, and it was over. 446 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,840 - Nothing happened! - How can you call a baby nothing? 447 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,720 - What baby? - The baby at the hospital! 448 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,840 - Oh, that baby. - Get out of my house! 449 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,720 - Fuck off! - I deny everything, Susan! Susan? I... 450 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,080 This is absurd. You're a hospital. How could you treat somebody... 451 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,480 ...and not know who she is? 452 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:16,080 We occasionally treat the patient before obtaining their social security number. 453 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,680 - And then you let them escape. - Mr. Allen, this is a hospital, not a prison. 454 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,960 We don't expect mothers to desert their babies. 455 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:35,360 Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. 456 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,120 Can you call my wife? Explain the misunderstanding... 457 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,400 ...and I'll be on my way. 458 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,920 - And tell her what? - Well, that the baby's not mine. 459 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,280 - That I only met the mother last night. - I don't know that, Mr. Allen. 460 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,400 Well, it's true. I drove them here, and that's it. 461 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,400 Save it for your wife. 462 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,680 Here's what Susan dropped off for you. 463 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,560 Uh, what do you think I should do? 464 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,720 Well, are you asking me as your friend or your lawyer? 465 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,480 Friend. 466 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,280 - Talk. Just talk to her. Be honest. - I've tried. I'm trying. 467 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,520 She won't talk to me until I prove it's not my child. This is ridiculous. 468 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,680 You don't remember the last name? 469 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,400 - No. - No make on the car? 470 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:16,600 No, it was dark. 471 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,960 As your lawyer, if there's anything you wanna tell me... 472 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,040 ...you know I'm sworn to hold it private and confidential. 473 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,440 I didn't know her, Damon! 474 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,200 Well. Without the mother's consent you're gonna have to get a court order... 475 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,480 ...for a DNA sample from the baby for a test. 476 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,520 - How long? - Four months minimum. 477 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,760 Oh, God. 478 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,160 Look, stop worrying. 479 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,000 If what you say is true, there's no way the mother, the hospital or the queen... 480 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,440 ...could prove that child's yours in a court of law. 481 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,080 I'm not worried about a court of law. I'm worried about the court of Susan. 482 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,440 Susan, I demand that you listen to me. I refuse to be hung... 483 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,000 Honey, I'm begging you. 484 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,160 I... 485 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:38,840 Monster, I love you. I... 486 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,200 - I love you too, Frank. - Ken? 487 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,440 What are you doing over there? Where's Susan? 488 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,080 She doesn't want to talk to you. 489 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,360 - Put her on. - Frank, she went to the hospital. 490 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,440 You're on the form as the father. 491 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,280 - That's not true. Ahem. - Whatever you say. 492 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,480 I believe you. 493 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,600 You just need to give Susan a little more time for your sake, okay? 494 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,320 All right. 495 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,560 Hang in there, Frank. 496 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,480 Yeah. 497 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,480 You should be aware that results are rarely couched in yes-no responses. 498 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,160 It just doesn't have the exactitude of DNA testing. 499 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,400 The best is usually a statistical probability with a significant margin of error. 500 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,000 When can I expect results? 501 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,640 Uh, four or five days. 502 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,360 Now, for the fun part. 503 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,320 - Bye, sweetie. See you later. - Bye. 504 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,120 Uh, what's he doing here? 505 00:31:58,280 --> 00:31:59,560 Picking Jesse up. 506 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,160 You're letting him see Jesse? 507 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,360 He's still her father. 508 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,840 Oh. Look at that. 509 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,880 Big kiss, please. Okay. Ah. 510 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,400 Daddy, when are you coming home? 511 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,320 Hopefully in a few days, sweetie. 512 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,880 How's Mommy? Did she get any of the messages I left? 513 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,240 She called you a moral slob. 514 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:21,920 Well, you know Mommy. 515 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:26,520 Sometimes she gets upset for no good reason at all. 516 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,720 - Like cleaning my room? - Exactly. 517 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,120 She gets awfully mad when I don't clean my room. 518 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,080 It's just like cleaning your room. 519 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,040 So we're both slobs. 520 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,920 I guess so. Yeah. 521 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,400 - Does that make me a bigamist too? - Oh. 522 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,200 Mommy. 523 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,360 What the hell is that? 524 00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,360 I'm calling him Abigail. 525 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,960 Unbelievable. He's dressed you as a princess, and bought you vermin. 526 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,920 He's the best daddy ever! 527 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,720 Please. 528 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,280 As far as your question of paternity goes, Mr. Allen... 529 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,240 ...the tests prove 100 percent, without a fraction of doubt... 530 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,120 ...that it is not your child. 531 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:36,560 Yes! Proof! Proof. 532 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,440 Yes, well, I checked the results twice. There's no question about it. 533 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,000 You saved my life here. I'm just really excited. 534 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,760 I was expecting some kind of completely ambiguous statistic here... 535 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,640 ...so this is, ahh. 536 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:55,040 Uh, no, it's actually quite simple. You have an extra X-chromosome. 537 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,360 - No joke? - Yeah. 538 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,400 What is that? 539 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,680 Well, it's a condition called Klinefelter's Syndrome. 540 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,800 Don't worry, it's harmless. Most men don't even know they have it... 541 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,160 ...except for one of its manifestations. 542 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,560 In what? What manifestation? 543 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,240 Sterility. 544 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,320 - Excuse me? - You've been sterile since birth. 545 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,880 I don't understand. Uh... 546 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,920 It is impossible for you to have children. 547 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,840 Uh... 548 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:49,560 You got the wrong guy, doc, because I have a little girl at home, and that... 549 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:51,880 I'm sorry. 550 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,680 Okay, something's wrong here. I'm gonna sit down and just... 551 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,120 Um, you have the wrong label, or wrong test. 552 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,200 I mean, this is a hospital. These things happen here all the time. 553 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,320 I... I'm sorry to drop this on you. I know this isn't easy to accept. 554 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,080 Hey. 555 00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:13,880 Come on, I'm a father. I have a little girl. A 7-year-old girl. Jesse. 556 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:18,080 Unlike humans, chromosomes can't betray, deceive, or willfully lie. 557 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:20,560 The truth is all they state. 558 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,840 Um... 559 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,560 But, Jesse. I have a... A little girl. 560 00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:38,240 I will, of course, take another sample, but I've run the test twice. 561 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,320 I'm afraid, Mr. Allen, there's been no mistake. 562 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,160 It's all been a lie, hasn't it? 563 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:12,960 - You tell me. - I know. 564 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,960 Oh, yeah? Well, I know, too! 565 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:16,240 Hi, Daddy. 566 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,520 Go to your room, sweetie. Daddy and I need to talk, okay? 567 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:51,640 Uh, excuse me? 568 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,760 I'm willing to bet ten bucks that you're naked under those clothes. 569 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,720 Why don't you join me for a drink? 570 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,040 Hey, buddy? I think you're sitting in my seat. 571 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,280 I wanna sit next to the pretty girl here, hmm? 572 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,320 Hey, pinhead, I'm talking to you. You're in my seat. 573 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,120 You work the ferry? 574 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,440 Yeah, so? Move your ass. 575 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:24,920 If you'd let me on, I wouldn't have been late. 576 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,160 I wouldn't have been so mad at Susan. 577 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,480 I wouldn't have been so stupid. 578 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,440 I wouldn't know the things that I know today. 579 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,720 Do I know you or something? 580 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,000 What time is it now? 581 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,240 What? 582 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,400 What time is it now? 583 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,120 - Screw you. - What time is it? 584 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,680 You want a piece of me, asshole? Let's take it outside. 585 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,480 That felt good. 586 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,640 Thank you for doing that. 587 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,560 - What is your name? - Tracy. 588 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:37,520 We're gonna be late again. Get your bag, sweetie. I'll be in the car, okay? 589 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,240 - Can I help you? - Does Frank live here? 590 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,760 He's not home. 591 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:50,960 I'm his wife. 592 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,080 Oh. Hi. I'm Nancy. 593 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:55,800 I wanted to thank him. 594 00:40:58,200 --> 00:40:59,320 For what? 595 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,880 All his help. 596 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:05,800 Is that Frank's baby? 597 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,280 Oh, no. 598 00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:15,280 Frank, it's me. Why won't you call me back? We need to talk. Please? 599 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,080 Call me. 600 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,360 Flat out on the floor. Then he gets so scared he takes off on his Harley... 601 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,640 - Shh! - Uh, ahem. 602 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,800 - What's going on? - Um... 603 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,320 Um... 604 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,920 Let's, um, talk outside. 605 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,520 Yeah. 606 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,120 There are some rumors about Frank. Crazy stuff. 607 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:55,440 Tom has a cousin who said his best friend was at the River Shore Bar... 608 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,320 ...when your husband got into a fight and shredded this big bruiser. 609 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,560 - Frank? - Yes. And he bought a bitchen Harley. 610 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,200 No, that's not Frank. That's just not possible. Somebody's confused. 611 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:10,280 No. John's son works at the shop. Frank bought a Harley. A red one. 612 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,160 - A red Harley? - Yes. 613 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:18,640 Without me? 614 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:25,520 Frank? 615 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,400 Oh, I'm sorry. 616 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,400 I'll leave a note. 617 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,800 - I need to talk to you. - Oh, yeah? 618 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,360 I found this in his hotel room. I'm worried. 619 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,800 It's very succinct. 620 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,360 I met the mother. She says it's not Frank's baby. 621 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,600 Well, that's great. You can take Frank back. 622 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,760 There was still a woman in his hotel room. 623 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,440 Come on, give the boy a break. I mean, we all have urges. 624 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,320 - You never look at the pool boy? - We don't own a pool. 625 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,440 You don't need a pool for a pool boy. 626 00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,280 It's different. I never thought of Frank as duplicitous. 627 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,680 - It's not Frank-ish. - No, it's not. 628 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,440 It's not really his style. 629 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,920 Buddy, stop it. I'm not this wanton creature you got floating around... 630 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,680 - ...in your sleazy little brain. - Really? 631 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,280 I've had three men my whole life, okay? 632 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,920 And this isn't about me, and it's damn sure not about you. It's about Frank. 633 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,280 Hey, come on. You know I'll do anything for Frank. 634 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:04,240 Then find him and make sure he doesn't do anything dumb. 635 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,520 Hey. It's open. 636 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,200 Hey. 637 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,760 - Hey. - Are you trying to kill yourself? 638 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,360 Well, obviously, but I think it's gonna take a little while. 639 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,440 Ha, ha. Good, because I bring happy news. 640 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,640 Susan will take you back. 641 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,680 A little begging may be required. 642 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,000 What I do is send red roses every day for a week. 643 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,880 By day five of the big red, she'll forgive you three hookers and a missed birthday. 644 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,600 I'm not going back. 645 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,960 - I had a pretty major revelation, Buddy. - What? 646 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,560 All the decisions I've made in my life have been wrong. 647 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,520 - Everybody feels that way, come on. - No, it's true. 648 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,880 I've always been so goddamn careful about every choice that I've made... 649 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,080 ...and what the hell has it gotten me? Nothing. 650 00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:56,680 So, instead I look around here... 651 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,960 ...and I write lists of everything that I really wanna do... 652 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,840 ...and then I just randomly pick between them. It's beautiful. 653 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,120 Frank, did you hear me? Susan will take you back. 654 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,760 What are you doing? 655 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:11,960 - There's no choice to be made. - Exactly. This is what I'm talking about. 656 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,040 Whim. Chance. 657 00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:17,240 I've decided to never decide another thing again. 658 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:20,720 Hockey. 659 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,480 And so it is. 660 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,440 Frank, maybe I didn't make myself perfectly clear. 661 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,240 I really think she'll take you back. 662 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:37,560 Hey, she loves you, you know? And you obviously can't live without her. 663 00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:40,960 That's not true. I'm walking on sunshine out here, man. 664 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,640 When you look at me, you look at a creature of freedom. A man released. 665 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,040 Any chance this "creature of freedom" is really a monster of depression? 666 00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,240 No. 667 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,600 Look, what you need, and I say this as your best friend, is a vacation. 668 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:57,320 A bit of sun, a bit of relaxation, and a huge chunk of Prozac. 669 00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,320 - I like that. - Yeah? 670 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,680 I like that idea. Watch this. 671 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:03,320 Okay. 672 00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,080 "Prozac." 673 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,760 "Streak ice." Ooh. 674 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,320 - And "become Slayers fan." - What are you doing? 675 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,760 I'm gonna pick one. I'm gonna abide by the choice. 676 00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,720 - You know what that makes me? - A flake? 677 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,000 - Free. - That's bullshit. 678 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,800 You've been a Meteor since you were 6. You can't change who you are. 679 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:25,840 - I can. - You can't. 680 00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:27,440 Okay, then. 681 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:30,800 To do that, you'd have to be really twisted, man. Slayers? 682 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,600 That's morally abhorrent. A man who would do that is capable of anything. 683 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,600 Exactly. 684 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:44,480 Frank, if you're gonna go nuts, you should at least have a god or a dog talking to you. 685 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,520 Index cards? It's just not that sexy. 686 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:50,960 You need help, man. You need to see a doctor. 687 00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:54,120 - I did. - You saw a shrink? 688 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,680 No. 689 00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,840 No, not a shrink. 690 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,720 If there's something wrong, you can talk to me, you know? 691 00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,080 Jesse's not my genetic daughter. 692 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,320 - What? - Yeah. 693 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,080 Yeah. I have Klinefelters Syndrome. 694 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:10,600 - Kline-what? - Klinefelters. 695 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:15,200 I was born with an extra X-chromosome. I've been sterile since birth. 696 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,240 - Are they sure? I mean... - Yeah. Yeah. 697 00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:21,160 It's impossible for me to be a father. 698 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,080 I saw her. 699 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:54,720 It was December 19. 700 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:58,320 Oh, God. Oh, no. 701 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,320 - Hey, Jesse. - Hi, Buddy. 702 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,000 Jesse, how old are you? 703 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:15,320 - Seven. - You're seven. 704 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,760 Really? Now when's your birthday? 705 00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:21,240 - Today. - Today? Today's your birthday? 706 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,600 You didn't get me a present, did you? 707 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:27,480 Oh, jeez. Of course I did. 708 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,480 I, uh, got you this watch. 709 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,320 And be careful, it's a Rolex. 710 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,560 - Is your mother inside? - Yeah. 711 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:49,760 Susan, I found a man wandering aimlessly in the hallway looking for you. 712 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,360 - Thanks, Peg. Goodbye, Peg. - And what a man he is. 713 00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,440 - Is today really Jesse's birthday? - No, it's in August. 714 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,440 What about Frank? Is he all right? 715 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,600 - Uh, yeah, Damon bailed him out. - Damon what? 716 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,600 - Who was the third lover? - Who? 717 00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,160 You said I was one of three lovers. Frank would be two. 718 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,520 - So there must have been a third. Who? - What? 719 00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:10,280 - Who was the third man? - Let me go. 720 00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,200 - No, not until you tell me. - You're crazy. 721 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,320 - I want a name. Who was it? - Alan Zelf. 722 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:18,240 - Alan Zelf. When? - When I worked at that burger joint. 723 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,440 I was 17, we did it in the basement on top of a pile of buns, okay? 724 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,600 What's gotten into you? 725 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:24,960 Fatherhood. 726 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:39,880 Time. 727 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:41,920 Efficiency. 728 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:44,960 Organizational skills. 729 00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,480 Do any of you really give a shit? 730 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,840 You're here because your boss thinks... 731 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,080 ...that if you keep your desk clear and your calendars streamlined... 732 00:49:57,240 --> 00:50:00,760 ...you'll sell a few more computers, and who knows, maybe he's right. 733 00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,960 But will that make you any happier? 734 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:07,800 Will it prevent you from waking up one morning with an incurable disease? 735 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:12,160 Will it stop your wife, Susan, from whoring around on you? 736 00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,320 Must've been that week before New Year's. 737 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,240 At Teddy's party. 738 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:21,120 I knew it was stupid. Even when we were doing it I knew it was stupid. 739 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,520 Gee, thanks. That makes me feel so much better. 740 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:25,600 - You could've used birth control. - I did. 741 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,960 - I guess it wasn't completely effective. - Yeah, no kidding. 742 00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:29,880 Oh! 743 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,440 I could die. 744 00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,200 Betrayed. Yeah, sure, we've been betrayed. 745 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,880 By the assumptions of our own society. You stay in line. 746 00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,840 Keep your shoes shined. Hard work and devotion will be rewarded. 747 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,000 Well, let me ask you something, is anyone here truly happy? 748 00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:45,680 If so... 749 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,040 ...raise your happy hand. 750 00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,200 Then the decisions that you've made in your life are crap. 751 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,400 You're a crappy person. Leading a crappy life. 752 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,960 - Crappy, crappy, crappy. - No. 753 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,120 Yeah. Crappy. 754 00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,440 Poor Frank, suddenly finding out he's not a father. 755 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,680 Enough poor Frank. What about poor Buddy, suddenly finding out he is? 756 00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,400 - Poor Jesse. - Poor Jesse? 757 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,520 - No father. - What am I? Chopped liver? 758 00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,720 You're a mistake! 759 00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,080 It could have been me you married eight years ago. 760 00:51:12,240 --> 00:51:14,040 It would've cramped your style. 761 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,800 You don't think I crave stability? 762 00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,280 You don't think I haven't wanted a family, or desired intimacy? 763 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,120 You don't think I've always loved you? 764 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:27,040 No. 765 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,080 - Yes. Yes. - No. No! 766 00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:58,040 Whim... 767 00:51:58,240 --> 00:51:59,760 ...not thought. 768 00:51:59,920 --> 00:52:01,680 Chance... 769 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,640 ...not planning. 770 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:06,800 You are where you are today because you've been comatose. 771 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,720 You've all lacked passion! 772 00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:14,960 Act on those passions. 773 00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,680 Succumb to your whim. 774 00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:23,000 Forge a new being, goddamn it. Do something before it's too late! 775 00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,000 Say yes to whim! 776 00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:34,560 Say yes to chance! Say yes to chaos! 777 00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:28,880 Paula, right? 778 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:35,840 Frank Allen. Are you still a, uh, time tamer? 779 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,440 Are you still a home-wrecking bitch? 780 00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,520 Still gay? 781 00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,200 What's with the cards? 782 00:54:26,240 --> 00:54:27,880 What happened? 783 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,160 What, you don't remember, beasty-boy? 784 00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:32,760 No. 785 00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,760 It was terrible. 786 00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,240 In a good way? 787 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:41,040 You passed out halfway in, so to speak. 788 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,360 Why is my pillow wet? 789 00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,680 You cried in your sleep for two-and-a-half hours. 790 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:50,320 Whimpering like a little girl. 791 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,520 It was like soft hotel-porn... 792 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,840 ...unsatisfying and sad. 793 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,760 - See you. - See you. 794 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,120 Hey, it's me. 795 00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:20,280 I know this is the 33rd message I've left, but please call me, okay? 796 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,320 I need to talk to you, Frank. 797 00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,040 Please. 798 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:26,080 Bye. 799 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,160 - Hello. - Hey. 800 00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:35,320 Here you go. 801 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,800 - Thanks. - Have a good day. 802 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:29,080 Susan? 803 00:56:29,240 --> 00:56:31,560 No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait! 804 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,560 - Stop. - You have to stop following me. 805 00:56:45,720 --> 00:56:48,280 - And stop getting me flowers. - For chrissake, Susan. 806 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,640 Cut me some slack. I'm trying to do what's right. 807 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,800 - Okay. I'm trying to do what's not wrong. - It's already been done. 808 00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,360 - But I love you, doesn't that count? - No. 809 00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:59,160 Don't play the martyr with me. You're not alone in this. 810 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:03,120 - I'm just as smashed up as you are. - Then find your own hole to crawl into. 811 00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:06,920 Well, what about Jesse? I mean, she's ours. 812 00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:12,120 Jesse has nothing to do with you. 813 00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:13,760 She hates me, doesn't she? 814 00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,600 She doesn't know you well enough to hate you. 815 00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,000 So if she knew me, then she'd hate me? 816 00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,120 Buddy, what do you want? 817 00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,840 My whole life people have been telling me I'm not responsible. 818 00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:33,400 I'm not, you know? I haven't wanted to be. 819 00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:35,520 But this is different. 820 00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:39,200 I just desperately wanna do what's right. 821 00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,000 What is right? 822 00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:57,080 Hi. 823 00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:00,880 Oh, God. I'm so... 824 00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,080 I'm... 825 00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:05,560 I'm sorry, Frank. 826 00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,840 You know? 827 00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,120 Yeah. 828 00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,440 Why didn't you tell me? 829 00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:20,040 It's hard to talk with a knife in your back, Susan. 830 00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,120 No, come on, it wasn't like that. 831 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:28,120 It had to have happened before New Year's, after that night it was only you. 832 00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:34,560 - No double-life? - No, sweetie, no. Never. 833 00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:39,120 Do you know whose it is? 834 00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:44,880 - She's not an "it," she's Jesse. - Do you know, Susan? 835 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:49,880 Yes. 836 00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:52,280 She's yours, Frank. She's... 837 00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:55,760 Maybe not medically... 838 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,800 ...but in all other ways she's your daughter. You're her father. 839 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,080 Whose is she? Whose is she, Susan? 840 01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:08,160 She's yours. She's yours. 841 01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:12,120 She's yours. She's yours because... 842 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:17,120 Because when she had strep throat you held her through three nights of fever. 843 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:20,120 Yours because her first word was "Dad." 844 01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,160 Because how scared you got when you thought you lost her... 845 01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:26,360 ...in the mall for 40 seconds. 846 01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:29,280 Because of how happy you feel every time you open your eyes... 847 01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,720 ...and she's standing there looking at you. 848 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:36,440 She loves you, Frank. You love her. This is... 849 01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:40,000 This is our home. It's our family. Come on, Frank. 850 01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:41,880 Mommy. 851 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,320 Mommy. 852 01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,320 I'm coming. 853 01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,280 I'll be two seconds, okay? 854 01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,200 Yeah. 855 01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:31,080 - What is it, honey? - I had a bad dream. 856 01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,000 Go back to sleep, okay? 857 01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,120 Try to go back to sleep. 858 01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:23,560 Frank? 859 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:35,160 Shit. 860 01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:43,280 - Can I help you? - I'd like a weapon, a gun, preferably. 861 01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:45,240 I need to shoot something tonight. 862 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,440 There's a three-day waiting period on all handguns... 863 01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:52,400 ...but I can sell you a shotgun, or a rifle, today. 864 01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:53,840 I'll take one. 865 01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,200 Great. What type? 866 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,680 - Uh... - What are you using it for? 867 01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:02,440 - Hunting. - Hunting. 868 01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:03,600 What are you hunting? 869 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:05,800 - Uh, duck. - Duck? 870 01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:08,800 Yes. A huge duck. 871 01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:11,520 Are you using a blind? 872 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,480 No. Uh... 873 01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:16,640 No. I'd like to do this face to face. 874 01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,320 This would be a solid choice for you, sir. 875 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:36,600 - Hello? - Hey, it's Damon. 876 01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:37,760 Oh, hey. What's up? 877 01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,880 Listen, Frank came by and picked up the key to the boathouse. 878 01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,960 He was, uh, acting really weird. I almost didn't give it to him. 879 01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:46,240 He said he found a faster way than cigarettes... 880 01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:48,440 ...and that maybe you should meet him up there? 881 01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,800 I'm a little worried. Maybe I should go with you. 882 01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,080 No, I'll take care of it. Thanks, Damon. 883 01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:57,840 It's Buddy. 884 01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,120 I think Frank might've gone up to the lake to try something rash. 885 01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:04,480 I'm just gonna make sure he's all right. I'll call you when I get there. 886 01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:26,960 That's amazing. 887 01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:30,520 I was just gonna call you, and lo and behold, here you are. 888 01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:33,080 Well, Damon told me you came up. 889 01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,800 I thought maybe you could use a friend, you know? Someone to talk to. 890 01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,920 Anything on your mind? 891 01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:43,120 This thin mountain air can give people strange ideas, you know? 892 01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:47,320 Ain't that the truth. No, nothing I can think of off the top of my head. 893 01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:49,200 How about you? 894 01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:52,120 - Me? - Anything you wanna tell me? 895 01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,200 Not really, no. 896 01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:00,080 Let's go for a boat ride. 897 01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:10,640 So you finished with all those index cards? Has whim waned? 898 01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,200 Ha, ha. Hell, no. 899 01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:16,120 It was in the cards to come up here and accomplish something. 900 01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:18,840 - What sort of something? - Something big. 901 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:22,120 - How big? - Oh. Biggest thing in my life. 902 01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:23,960 Is the keyword here "life"? 903 01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:29,240 - Could be. Definitely could be. - You don't wanna do anything drastic. 904 01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:30,920 Don't I? 905 01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,560 I mean, something you can't take back, you know? Final. 906 01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:35,720 Oh, you mean something I'll regret. 907 01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:40,200 You have to think of those who love you. I mean, think of your friends. 908 01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:43,600 - Why my friends? - Because your actions affect them. 909 01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:47,040 Oh, I'll give you that. Yeah. 910 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:50,000 One should always think of one's friends before considering... 911 01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:51,680 ...certain things. 912 01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:53,280 That's profound of you, Buddy. 913 01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:56,600 I suppose that "certain things" would test the limit of our friendship. 914 01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,320 - Wouldn't you think? - Exactly. 915 01:06:58,480 --> 01:07:00,120 Exactly. 916 01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,480 - Aren't we getting out a little far? - Yeah, Buddy. 917 01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:05,720 We're getting out a little far. 918 01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:11,200 Frank? Buddy? 919 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,800 What the hell are we doing here, Frank? 920 01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:18,800 - I think you know. - I won't let you. 921 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:22,160 Yeah? Well, why don't you try and stop me. Go ahead. 922 01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:24,400 - Where the hell did you get that? - Who cares? 923 01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:26,800 - I'm not shooting blanks this time. - Put it down. 924 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,720 - We can talk about this, can't we? - Let's just cut the shit. 925 01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:33,560 - Don't start whimpering now. - Whimpering? Hey, it's your decision. 926 01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:37,400 - Oh, that's generous of you. - It doesn't mean I agree with it. 927 01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:39,600 Well, I would hope not! 928 01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,200 Look, you can't do this to me, or you, I won't let you. 929 01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:45,240 - You're gonna have to shoot me first. - There's a hell of an argument. 930 01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:46,360 Give me that. 931 01:07:52,120 --> 01:07:53,400 Come on. 932 01:07:53,560 --> 01:07:55,880 Shooting me first was just a figure of speech. 933 01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:58,360 Oh, shit. Oh, that went all the way through. 934 01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:02,000 I don't think it's smart to put holes in things that sink or breathe. 935 01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:04,920 But you're the one with the gun. I can appreciate that. 936 01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:07,880 - Are you looking for something? - A lifejacket. 937 01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:12,440 Son of a bitch! 938 01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:15,280 Frank! 939 01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:19,600 Frank! Frank, what the hell is going on? 940 01:08:19,800 --> 01:08:20,800 Frank! 941 01:08:22,440 --> 01:08:24,480 They're just dancing, Mommy. 942 01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:26,320 Give me that. 943 01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:30,800 We gotta get help, come on. 944 01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:39,000 There! Go ahead, commit suicide now! 945 01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:42,840 Suicide? You think I'm trying to commit suicide? 946 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:46,040 - Yeah. - You impossibly stupid man. 947 01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:50,560 You philandering, dumba... Murder! 948 01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:54,160 I'm trying to commit murder! You idiot! 949 01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:00,560 Yeah, yeah, a boat. Um... 950 01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:02,880 I... I don't know. 951 01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:07,000 Yeah, I heard a rifle shot. You need to get out here, now, okay? 952 01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:09,600 Yeah. Yeah, okay. 953 01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:14,280 Sweetie, I need you to stay in the cabin, okay? Just stay here. 954 01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:04,520 Yeah, don't worry, you still have a chance to freeze to death. 955 01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,120 No, I wanna kill you! 956 01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:14,480 Well, if I knew what you obviously know, I'd wanna kill me too. 957 01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:19,640 That's understanding of you. 958 01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:23,880 I'm sorry. 959 01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:26,240 Fuck you. 960 01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:41,840 Mrs. Allen, you best wait inside. 961 01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:43,320 Have you found them yet? 962 01:10:43,480 --> 01:10:47,320 When I know something, you'll know something. Please, wait inside. 963 01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:58,040 Do you even know where the hell we're going? 964 01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:00,120 There's a footbridge up ahead. 965 01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:02,800 The cabin's a mile from that. 966 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,320 They're searching for us. 967 01:11:38,840 --> 01:11:42,040 - How do they know we're here? - I told Susan. 968 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:47,760 Do you love her? 969 01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:52,280 Does it matter? 970 01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:55,880 And Jesse? 971 01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:01,280 She's just a kid. 972 01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:03,560 What does that mean, Buddy? 973 01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:07,640 I hardly know her. 974 01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:15,480 What now? 975 01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:22,840 I just, I thought if I did everything... 976 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,680 ...for the now, that I could forget the past... 977 01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:28,480 ...and the past is who I am. 978 01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:32,600 And I just, I don't... I... 979 01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:36,880 How am I supposed to go back to Susan if I don't know how to forgive her? 980 01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:42,040 Look. Uh, ahem. 981 01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,600 I'm gonna disappear. Just, look, tell them that you lost me, okay? 982 01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:51,440 No, Frank. No, I won't. 983 01:12:51,640 --> 01:12:53,680 - Yeah. You owe me that! - No. 984 01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:56,720 Owe you? I don't owe you anything! 985 01:12:57,800 --> 01:13:01,280 And you know what? You're a freaking idiot! 986 01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:06,680 I wish Susan had picked me. 987 01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:08,880 I wish Susan loved me. 988 01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:12,080 I wish Jesse thought of me as her father. 989 01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,960 But all they do is love you. 990 01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:20,040 God, I even love you. 991 01:13:21,400 --> 01:13:25,120 I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm past feeling sad for anyone but myself. 992 01:13:25,280 --> 01:13:29,760 So you know, stay out here if you want. Become one with nature, go hump Bigfoot. 993 01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:32,920 But I'm going back into the cabin and getting warm. 994 01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:36,440 God. 995 01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:19,960 I think we got one over here. 996 01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:22,560 Somebody get a blanket! 997 01:14:42,440 --> 01:14:43,720 Where's Mr. Allen? 998 01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:48,480 It's complicated. 999 01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:21,920 Daddy! 1000 01:16:26,560 --> 01:16:28,160 Daddy! 1001 01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:01,600 You ever hear of chaos theory, Ed? 1002 01:17:01,760 --> 01:17:03,000 It's a science. 1003 01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:06,720 It tries to determine underlying patterns in chaotic systems: 1004 01:17:06,880 --> 01:17:10,560 Weather, ocean currents, blood flow, that sort of thing. 1005 01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:13,680 Well, it turns out that there are few things... 1006 01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:17,120 ...more chaotic than the beat of a human heart. 1007 01:17:17,280 --> 01:17:22,040 Speeding up, slowing down. A pretty face, a flight of stairs. 1008 01:17:22,200 --> 01:17:25,360 It's always changing depending on what's happening to us out there. 1009 01:17:25,520 --> 01:17:27,960 It's an erratic son of a bitch. 1010 01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:33,040 But underneath all of that bump-a-ta-bump mess, there is, in fact, a pattern. 1011 01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:34,960 A truth. 1012 01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:36,720 And it's love. 1013 01:17:37,240 --> 01:17:40,960 The most important thing about love is that we choose to give it... 1014 01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:43,560 ...and we choose to receive it. 1015 01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:47,520 Making it the least random act in the entire universe. 1016 01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:50,480 It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal... 1017 01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:53,520 ...and all the dirt that makes us human. 1018 01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:57,120 And if you can figure that out... 1019 01:17:57,280 --> 01:18:00,000 ...the Jake Lees of the world got nothing on you. 1020 01:18:00,160 --> 01:18:01,680 Now, what's all this about? 1021 01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:02,960 Uh-oh. 1022 01:18:03,120 --> 01:18:06,040 Poor Ed, has Frank been torturing you with tales of love and war? 1023 01:18:06,200 --> 01:18:08,720 - Well, yes, ma'am. - You're gonna be late. 1024 01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:10,960 I'll see you in there. 1025 01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:16,080 Thanks. 1026 01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:23,120 - Have you been bad? - No. 1027 01:18:27,720 --> 01:18:29,120 A little bit. 1028 01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:33,240 Come on, let's go. Monster, we're gonna be late. 1029 01:18:47,320 --> 01:18:50,800 - You're beautiful. - I'm nervous, Daddy. 1030 01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:52,280 Jake loves you very much. 1031 01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,200 - Ed. - He loves you too, honey. 1032 01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:28,400 Friends, we have been invited here today... 1033 01:19:28,560 --> 01:19:32,760 ...to share in a most important moment in the lives for Edward and Jessica. 1034 01:19:32,920 --> 01:19:35,160 In the time they've been together...