1
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,960
Planet Express
delivery company roll call!

2
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,560
- Captain Turanga Leela!
- Here!

3
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,800
Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry!

4
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,520
Here!

5
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,280
Assistant Manager of Sales,
Bender Bending Rodriguez!

6
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,640
Here!

7
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,000
<i>Cerveza, por favor.</i>

8
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,280
Long-term intern, Amy Wong.

9
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,440
Here!

10
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,840
Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg.

11
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,840
I thought it was mine.

12
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,000
Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad

13
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,120
is who I am.

14
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,560
And now I am proud to present
the owner and founder of Planet Express,

15
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,800
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth!

16
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,200
You're all fired.

17
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,520
Sweet bongo of the Congo!

18
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,360
In fact, you were fired two years ago.

19
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,440
That's when we were shut down
by the delivery network.

20
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:10,880
<i>Yes, I'm afraid the brainless
drones who run the network</i>

21
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,520
<i>canceled our License.</i>

22
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:17,600
We were canceled?

23
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,640
Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible.

24
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,280
Well, clear out your desks
and move along. Chop-chop.

25
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,720
Yes? I see.

26
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,080
Good news, everyone!

27
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:37,040
Those asinine morons who canceled us
were themselves fired for incompetence.

28
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And not just fired, but beaten up, too.
And pretty badly.

29
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In fact, most of them died
from their injuries.

30
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:56,040
And then they were ground up
into a fine pink powder.

31
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- Why?
- Oh, it's got a million and one uses.

32
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,280
That soothes the fire.

33
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,160
So what does this mean
for us and our many fans?

34
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,680
It means we're back on the air!

35
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:15,400
Yes, flying on the air
in our mighty spaceship.

36
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:18,760
We're back, baby!

37
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Party!

38
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,880
Go, go, go!

39
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,400
Lower, lawn mower!

40
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,680
What's the matter, robot?
You got a rod up your spine?

41
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,080
Yes, I do. That's how I'm built.

42
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,800
- Hooray.
- Way to bend it!

43
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,880
You're the greatest, Bender!

44
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,720
In Jamaica, we got
10-story office buildings lower than that.

45
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,040
Let's see you beat it, Rasta man.

46
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,840
Let's make it interesting.
Fetch down one of them sabers.

47
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,520
Oh, flexible.
That would go good up my spine.

48
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,160
Lower.

49
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,440
The fat guy wins!

50
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:14,480
Go, Hermes!

51
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,320
That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad.

52
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,360
Oh, no.

53
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,960
Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy?

54
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,360
I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill.

55
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,400
Figures I'd get mangled
while the blond bimbo's on duty.

56
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,960
I'm a doctor, sir.

57
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,360
The mere fact that I'm blond
and have a breathy voice,

58
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,000
full sensual lips and a steaming hot body
doesn't make me a bimbo.

59
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,600
Tell me about it.

60
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,960
I think we've all learned a thing or two
about sexual stereotypes

61
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:02,000
while my head's slowly dying
'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo!

62
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,880
Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy!

63
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,080
Lars, got another jar job!

64
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,400
Oh, sorry, Doctor.
I was disinfecting Courtney Love...

65
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,120
Oh, hello.

66
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,520
What are you looking at? Is it the eye?

67
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:16,760
Guilty as charged.

68
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,880
It's a nice looking eye,
and there's plenty of it.

69
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,440
- Oh. Do I know you?
- Apparently not.

70
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,800
- Hi. I'm Lars.
- Oh. I'm Leela.

71
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,000
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to be met.

72
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,200
Pick up ladies on your own time,
you shiny-headed goat.

73
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:36,520
Sir, you're just a little enraged
'cause you're dying. Up and away!

74
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,400
Lars is so flirting with you.

75
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,600
He is so not. He's just being polite.

76
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,880
Who does he think he is,
being polite to you?

77
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,520
- You want me to beat him up?
- No. Stop being so immature.

78
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,120
I'll show her who's immature.

79
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,200
"Charles de Gaulle"? Never heard of you.

80
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,400
I freed France from the Nazis and...

81
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,720
Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy.

82
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,840
Rock that Frenchman, baby!

83
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,560
Oh, my poor little love pirate
of the Caribbean.

84
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,880
There, there, wife. Everything will be all...

85
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,400
Okay, look, Hermes,
we got to think of the boy.

86
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,680
- He needs a daddy.
- He has a daddy.

87
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,000
No, he got two half-daddies.

88
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,360
- Will his body be all right?
- Yes, but it may take a few days.

89
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,080
No, not soon enough.

90
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,640
Come, Dwight,
let's find you a handsome new father.

91
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,480
LaBarbara, no!

92
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,480
It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you.

93
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,480
Good news, everyone!

94
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,840
We've got a delivery
to the nude beach planet.

95
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,600
So long, jerk.

96
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,360
It feels great to be back at the wheel
after two long years.

97
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,280
That's not the wheel.

98
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,640
It's nice out.

99
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,880
"You must be at least this naked"?

100
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,600
How much nakeder could you be?

101
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,120
Watch and learn.

102
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,480
- You know, it's funny.
- What?

103
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,920
Your wiener!

104
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,960
Well, I'm going in the water
to prune up a bit before I strut.

105
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,800
- Who's with me?
- I'm in!

106
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:58,840
- I'm in.
- Yeah, I'll go.

107
00:07:58,960 --> 00:07:59,800
You guys go ahead.

108
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,080
I gotta find the bartender
and deliver this box of barstool softener.

109
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,000
Here's your package, sir.

110
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,480
- Why are you talking to my penis?
- Oh, sorry. Sign here.

111
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,960
- Mind if I use your pen?
- Well, that's not a...

112
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,080
And initial here.

113
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,000
Thank you for using Planet Express.

114
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,640
Hey, Fry, I didn't know
you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass.

115
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,000
Me, neither.

116
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,760
You got a tattoo of me?

117
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,360
Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror.

118
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,320
So he's got a little ink. Big whoop.

119
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,480
Sweet photons.

120
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,520
I don't know if you're waves or particles,
but you go down smooth.

121
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,840
Sir, would you care to sign our petition?

122
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,720
I support and oppose many things,
but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.

123
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,760
That's just what the guys

124
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,360
who oppose the things
you support want you to do.

125
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,680
Really? Down with those guys!

126
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,800
And we'll need your e-mail address.

127
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,160
They say you shouldn't give out
your e-mail address.

128
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,320
Right. That's just
what those same guys say.

129
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,760
Them again?

130
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,760
I don't quite understand
what this petition's about.

131
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,960
Animals?

132
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,400
And your e-mail address.

133
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:34,000
- You won't send me any spam, will you?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

134
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,240
Asterisk.

135
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,840
<i>You've got spam.</i>

136
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,680
Spam, spam, junk.

137
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,440
The very last pygmy rhino
is going extinct?

138
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,840
Unless it gets my credit card number?

139
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,840
Spam. Spam.

140
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,280
"Hi. How are you?"
Oh, that must be from Kiffy.

141
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,800
<i>Hi, how are you?</i>

142
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,280
<i>Low, low prices
on erectile dysfunction remedies,</i>

143
00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,440
<i>sleeping pills, old-person drugs,
and antidepressants.</i>

144
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,000
Antidepressants?

145
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,480
Well, I certainly don't want
to get depressed.

146
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,200
<i>Please enter credit card number.</i>

147
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,640
Is cash okay?

148
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,200
Porn. Porn. Free porn.

149
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,200
I find that rather hard to believe.

150
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,040
"Top-quality".

151
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,840
I'm waiting for porn over here.

152
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,240
Oh, yeah, come on, baby.

153
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,480
Friends, friends!

154
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,720
His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg
of Nigeria died.

155
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,240
That's so sad.

156
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,640
When will those antidepressants get here?

157
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,080
Wait, there's more.

158
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,640
According to this e-mail,
I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin.

159
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,080
Once I wire some good-faith money
to an overseas bank account,

160
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,520
I'll inherit his kingdom,
his canoe, and his plump young wife.

161
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,960
You dumb stumps.
Don't you realize you're being scammed?

162
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,880
That is low, Hermes.

163
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,520
Just because you don't have a body,

164
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,400
you don't want anyone else
to be prince of Nigeria.

165
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,280
Well, try and stop me
from wiring that money.

166
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,280
What's going on here?

167
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,080
According to
my illegal key logging software,

168
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,520
you've all been giving out
personal information over the Internet.

169
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,320
If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all.

170
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,240
- I am here.
- Quiet, you.

171
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:41,720
In his absence, I'm calling
a mandatory company security seminar.

172
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,280
To the mandatorium!

173
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:49,120
Now, it's not hard to spot
a phony Internet come-on.

174
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,040
"Get rich quick x7 q"? Phony.

175
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,960
"Lose weight with space parasites"?
Phony.

176
00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:02,160
What's this?
I've won the Spanish National Lottery?

177
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,600
No, it's a scam!

178
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:08,680
Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich!

179
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,840
And to think I didn't even know
I had a ticket.

180
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,920
I just need to wire some collateral
to collect the winnings.

181
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,000
Professor, stop!
You're giving away personal information!

182
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:23,080
I can afford to give away anything I want.
I've won the Spanish National Lottery.

183
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,320
- No, don't!
- It's a scam!

184
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,520
Why won't anybody listen to me?

185
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,120
And my mother's maiden name
and her bank account numbers and...

186
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,360
There!

187
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:36,480
I'm rich. Rich. Rich!

188
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,040
That must be my $400 now.

189
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,680
<i>Hello. Or should I say, '"Buenos dias"?</i>

190
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,920
Hi. We own your company now.

191
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,840
I'll deal with these guys.

192
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,560
Welcome, boss.

193
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,000
Guess I was wrong.

194
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,760
There was a robot stupid enough
to download the obedience virus.

195
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,360
I sure was. Make a hole, chumps.

196
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,760
Presenting our new masters!

197
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,760
Where shall I put these auto-dialers,
kind master?

198
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,520
Between the password crank
and the spamjaculator.

199
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,000
Come on!
We've got a whole planet to scam.

200
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,560
And bring me some more Gummi Fungus!

201
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,840
We don't have to stand here
and take abuse from a gross nerd.

202
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,080
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

203
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,800
Now get back to work, you turkeys.

204
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,440
Planet Express is still in business.

205
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:56,280
We've got crap loads of
quote-unquote merchandise to deliver.

206
00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,920
Ship them out, Your Highness.

207
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,240
Finally, some respect.

208
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,400
I feel a little better.

209
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,680
Those marvelous scammers
sure scammed us, huh?

210
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,400
How can you just sit there
kissing the aliens' butt flaps?

211
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,440
Don't you realize
you are totally under their control?

212
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,720
Of course I realize it.
Does that mean I can't enjoy it?

213
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,680
Boy, were we suckers.

214
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,360
Greetings, earthlings.

215
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,600
Oh, hooray.
It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars.

216
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,200
Hello, everyone who isn't Leela.

217
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,320
And a special hello to everyone else.

218
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,400
Shut your lockers and get to class.

219
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,640
- How's my body doing?
- Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule.

220
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,880
The museum got tricked
into giving all its funding

221
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,560
to something called
the Scamming Sciences Institute.

222
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,240
It's a fake place.

223
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,400
Cut to the chase, baldy.
When do I get my me back?

224
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,000
Well, it could be months, or even years.

225
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,880
No! That body's
the cornerstone of my marriage.

226
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,480
What's LaBarbara going to do?

227
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,360
She's going to go back
to her first husband.

228
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,360
Barbados Slim? I love that guy.

229
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,800
Everybody loves Slim.

230
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,120
He's the only man to ever win
Olympic gold medals

231
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,200
in both limbo and sex.

232
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,840
Well, maybe I should get going.

233
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,760
- Yes, I'll show you out.
- No, Leela will show him out.

234
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,000
No, Leela will show you out.

235
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,520
Me. Leela.

236
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,960
So your friend, Fry, seems nice.

237
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,600
- Are you and he dating?
- Nope.

238
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,680
Good, because I was maybe thinking
of asking you out for dinner.

239
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,640
I'll start maybe thinking about saying,
"Sure, when?"

240
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,480
Let me maybe give it some thought.

241
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,640
- Tomorrow at 8:00?
- Okay.

242
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:51,160
It's no fair. I've loved Leela
since the day I came to the future.

243
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,680
Did I show you the macaroni valentine
I made for her?

244
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:54,720
Yes.

245
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,160
Look at it again.

246
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,720
I know she thinks I'm immature,
but someday I won't be.

247
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,880
And deep down in my heart,
I know we'll end up together.

248
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,280
It's all there in the macaroni.

249
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,920
Lars asked me out.

250
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,920
- What are you doing, wonderful masters?
- Sprunjing for information.

251
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,200
Oh! There's something here.
I can sprunje it.

252
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,480
Robot, tear it open!

253
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,600
Goody, goody, goody, goody!

254
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,320
- What's that thing on your neck?
- Checking out my sprunjer, huh?

255
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,160
I guess. What does it do?

256
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,040
It's a special sense organ
our species possesses.

257
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,240
It engorges in the presence of...

258
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,840
Information.

259
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:51,960
Lucky you.

260
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:56,000
All I have is a gland
that gives off foul odors when I'm bored.

261
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:03,960
Hey, look, a safe!

262
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,960
That's my safe. I call keep-offsies.

263
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,560
No callsies! Open it!

264
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,800
It's a gold mine.
Tax forms, Social Security cards.

265
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,080
Combination hair, blood
and stool samples.

266
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,800
I don't get it. How can you say Lars
is more mature than me?

267
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,880
Well, for one thing,
his checkbook doesn't have the Hulk on it.

268
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,520
- Who are you?
- Philip J. Fry.

269
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:41,640
Social Security Number 03280810?
Stool type, P-negative?

270
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,080
That's right.

271
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,960
I've never detected
so much information before.

272
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,080
I think it may be a Level 87 code.

273
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,640
Level 87? Can it be?

274
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,640
I thought it was only a legend,
but the sprunjer never lies.

275
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,440
- It's in his pants!
- What the hell are you talking about?

276
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,080
Faster, faster!

277
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,680
I'm science-ing as fast as I can.

278
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,920
What do you say, folks? Hot or not?

279
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,200
I'm not seeing any information.
Do more things!

280
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,120
You, boogerbot,
read the code or I'll shoot this guy.

281
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,640
- Who the hell is he?
- I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

282
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,200
Hang on, Scruffy!

283
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,440
"Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero,
one, zero, zero, one, zero,

284
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,320
"zero, one, one, one, one, zero,
one, zero, zero, zero, zero,

285
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,600
"one, one, zero, one, one, zero,
one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one".

286
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,120
A time sphere.

287
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,360
Naked brothers, we have sprunjed

288
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,400
upon the universal machine
language time code.

289
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,720
The key to time travel.

290
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,200
What's the secret of time travel doing
on Fry's ass?

291
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,840
It was bound to be somewhere.

292
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:29,080
Beyond this shimmering portal lie
all the glories of history.

293
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,320
And we can steal them!

294
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,160
We just go to the past and take stuff
with our superior weapons!

295
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,680
Stop, you fools.

296
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,560
- What's going on?
- What is happening?

297
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,960
Nibbler, you... You can talk?

298
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,000
I can do more than talk. I can pontificate.

299
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,240
You must not use the code of codes.

300
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,880
With each and every use,
you risk tearing the universe asunder.

301
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,560
Oh, he's so adorable.

302
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,360
The poodle-monkey may be right.

303
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,840
The legend warns that the code is
powerful and dangerous.

304
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,440
My God.

305
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,960
We'd better use it only three or four times.
Six, max.

306
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,440
But even a single use could shatter
the universe.

307
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,560
Got it. Two or three times.

308
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,840
I see I have no choice.

309
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,640
Nibblonians, attack!

310
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,360
Hey! That tickles.

311
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,400
And the pitch!

312
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,560
Mayday, mayday!

313
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,320
Hey! Hey! Hey!

314
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,440
Scamper!

315
00:20:55,200 --> 00:21:00,640
Alas, our kitten-class attack ships
were no match for their mighty chairs.

316
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,440
The universe is doomed. Doomed!

317
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,160
Can I pull up my pants now?

318
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,280
Doomed!

319
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,000
Stand back, you wing wangs.

320
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,920
I'm gonna try out this time sphere
with a quick test drive to yesterday.

321
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,920
Bushwa! You can't go mucking about
in the past without creating paradoxes.

322
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,840
I'm afraid he can.
It's a paradox-correcting time code.

323
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,960
It all works perfectly.
Except when it rips open the universe!

324
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,680
Don't do it. I beg you.

325
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,160
Yesterday, please. And make it snappy!

326
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,360
- Hello!
- Howdy!

327
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,640
- Say, what the...
- That's weird.

328
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,520
There was one, but now there's two.

329
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,520
Nothing gets past you, eagle eye.

330
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,160
I went back to last night
and met the "me" of that time for a drink.

331
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,120
One thing led to another,
and we ended up at my place.

332
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,920
Or should I say our place?

333
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,520
Oh, come on, you bunch of prudes!

334
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,240
This isn't merely revolting,
it's impossible to boot.

335
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,040
I know a paradox when I see one.

336
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,360
Paradox resolved. Someone get a mop!

337
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,560
You're looking well, Pops.

338
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,680
How can you look me in the eye-and-eye
and say that?

339
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,400
I'm nothing but a brain.
A useless filthy brain!

340
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,600
You forgot lice-infested.

341
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,920
I didn't forget, I just chose not to...

342
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,560
Barbados Slim?

343
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,240
What are you doing here?

344
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,520
Is there something going on
between you two?

345
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,080
Oh, no. No, no, no.

346
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,480
We just happened to run into each other
shortly after your accident.

347
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,680
And every night since then.

348
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,200
You're so crazy.

349
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,080
Woman, no!

350
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,920
Oh, who am I kidding?
Without my body, I'm a nobody.

351
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:08,960
I'm sorry, Hermes. But look at Barbados.
You can't argue with those luscious pecs.

352
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,400
No, I can't.

353
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,400
But I can ask him to stop wiggling them
in my face.

354
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,040
I'm not wiggling them.
They do that by themselves.

355
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,840
I think I'll go back in time and steal
the Liberty Bell before it cracked.

356
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,480
- Or is the crack the valuable part?
- I don't know, you naked crook!

357
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,560
We have a problem, Nudar.
It's a one-way time code.

358
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,200
It can take us to the past,
but it can't bring us back to the present!

359
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,880
Masters, if I might?
Let me do the stealing.

360
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,920
I'll go to the past and snatch everything
I can get my greasy mitts on.

361
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,480
Then, as a robot,
I can just wait it out for a few centuries

362
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,880
in the limestone cavern
beneath this building.

363
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,280
Oh, it'll be ever so much fun!

364
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,720
Hey, that's perfect.

365
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,480
We sit back and let
dumb-dumb here do the stealing.

366
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,600
Dumb-dumb away!

367
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,720
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero...

368
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:03,920
Yup!

369
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,720
<i>The Mona Lisa!</i>

370
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,440
Sorry, it's not quite finished.

371
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:11,880
Da Vinci give you any trouble?

372
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,240
<i>Let's just say he may not
make it to The Last Supper.</i>

373
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,960
Preposterous twaddlecock!
Time travel is impossible.

374
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,680
But, Professor, you time-traveled yourself.

375
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,680
Remember,
when we went back to Roswell?

376
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,120
That proves nothing.

377
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,280
And, furthermore, you'd think
I'd remember a thing like that.

378
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,320
Plus, who are you, anyway?

379
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:34,720
- Man, this is fun on a bun! Here I go again!
- Oh, no, you don't!

380
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:35,760
Zero, zero, one, one...

381
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,040
Scarab, forearm, bird, bird, bird.

382
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,440
No, it's just me, Bender.

383
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,760
I must tell you, Hedonismbot,

384
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,800
I hate to sell my doomsday devices
to a private collector.

385
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,720
But with my business stolen,
I have to make ends meet.

386
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,280
You will be careful?

387
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:10,960
I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi
lock the absinthe and ether away.

388
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,760
- Oh! What does this one do?
- That one kills everything everywhere.

389
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,200
How delightful. And this one?

390
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,000
Sir, the spheroboom is not for sale.

391
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,400
It's my sentimental favorite.

392
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,600
No need to explain.
I, too, have known unconventional love.

393
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,560
Perhaps you and I and Jambi
could get together

394
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,400
and compare notes sometime, eh?

395
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:44,840
Resulting in peace between
East and West Coast rappers...

396
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,560
Good God!

397
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,400
I accept this Nobel Peace Prize
not just for myself,

398
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,360
but for crime robots everywhere. Skoal!

399
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,920
Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden?

400
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,040
Be honest with me.
Does my eye look monstery?

401
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,240
I don't want to look monstery
for my date with Lars.

402
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,240
At least a monster has a body.

403
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:30,360
What I wouldn't give for Wolf Man's torso,
or any of the Groovie Goolies.

404
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,800
I think I'll wear that slutty dress
I've been saving for Easter.

405
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,480
I'd like to punch Lars right
in his ruggedly good-looking face.

406
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,920
Like all rich people, we're gonna need
weapons to shoot poor people.

407
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,240
- In self-defense?
- Yes, that, too.

408
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,120
Bender, go steal the doomsday device
chained to the professor's wrist.

409
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,240
Never!

410
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,200
I'm kidding. You guys know
I have to do whatever you say.

411
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,200
- Here, swap this for the real one.
- The old switcheroo.

412
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,120
Yes, but don't wake him.

413
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,520
You'll need jeweler's tools
and foot-cup silencers.

414
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,120
Hey. I don't tell you how
to tell me what to do,

415
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,000
so don't tell me how to do
what you tell me to do.

416
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,880
Bender knows when to use finesse.

417
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,000
- Here you go.
- Put it in the safe, clanky.

418
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,200
It's the damnedest thing.

419
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,760
There I was in the dumpster,
enjoying a moldy Fudgsicle,

420
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,000
<i>when suddenly your hand flies
over and slaps me in the toches.</i>

421
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,680
Yes, well, these things happen.

422
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,240
Fortunately, the spheroboom is still safe.

423
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,680
Scammed? Me? Sweetheart?

424
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,400
You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg.

425
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,520
Tell me, if I could find an undamaged body,
could you recapitate me?

426
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,280
Hermes, I'm a surgeon.

427
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,600
When I see two body parts,

428
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,280
I sew them together
and see what happens.

429
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,760
All I'm asking is for you to go back in time

430
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,320
to when I still had my body
and bring it back for me.

431
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,600
- What do I do with your old head?
- I don't care in the slightest.

432
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,840
Can do!

433
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,600
- Come on, man!
- Hermes, please!

434
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,000
You can't hurry
a delicate operation like this.

435
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,840
What are those?

436
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,440
You incompetent crab!

437
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,600
I thought you were happy.
Your tail was wagging.

438
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,880
I believe this paradoxicality
equation to be unsolvable.

439
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,400
Ergo, time travel is impossible.

440
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,480
But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum.

441
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,120
Perhaps you and your razzle-dazzle
Globetrotter calculus could...

442
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,520
Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy.

443
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,640
Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameters
and expand the Wronskian.

444
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,040
Shizz, baby.

445
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,680
So paradox-free time travel
is possible after all.

446
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,440
Right on. But dig this multiplicand here.

447
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,680
The "doom field"? That must be
what corrects the paradoxes.

448
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,800
But that mama rises exponentially.

449
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,760
It could rupture
the very fabric of causality.

450
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,360
That's what I've been trying to tell you.

451
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,760
Hermes! You got your body back.

452
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,240
Yes, but not the original.

453
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,520
Bender went back in time
and picked up a copy.

454
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,120
A copy? Funky cold medina!

455
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,880
According to this equation,
a time-travel duplicate

456
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,440
results in a complex denominator
in the causality ratio.

457
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:56,200
- Oh, snap! You know what that means.
- I can guess.

458
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,600
Actually, I can't guess.

459
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,360
Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab?

460
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:05,960
Good Lord, Bubblegum.

461
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:10,560
The duplicate body is emitting doom
at 10 times the background level.

462
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:14,320
I thought as much.
A duplicate body is always doomed.

463
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,840
It's just a matter of time.

464
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,760
I don't care. I just need it long enough
to bird-dog in and win LaBarbara back.

465
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:24,200
- Best bird-dog fast, my brother.
- That's the way I bird-dog best.

466
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,680
Drink, quick!
I can't balance it much longer.

467
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,120
Wait, I...

468
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,720
Yes!

469
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,840
Oh, this is so much fun, Lars.

470
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,560
Most men are intimidated by the fact

471
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,680
that I could kill them
with a flick of my wrist.

472
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,560
Well, not me, 'cause if you do,
you'll be stuck with the check.

473
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,400
Folks, you care for
a little fresh ground Executive?

474
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,040
Please.

475
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,920
Don't get excited, kids.
This thing's got heart-shaped nostrils.

476
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,160
Want to see it make a star?

477
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,240
- No!
- No!

478
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,760
Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters.
Plus, the Colonel's secret recipe.

479
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,120
Well, that does it.
We've got every valuable object in history.

480
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,280
Now that I'm rich, I suddenly care
if the universe gets destroyed.

481
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,680
We can't use
that dangerous time code again.

482
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,600
Blank it from the robot's memory.

483
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,520
I'll vaporize this guy so his ass
doesn't fall into the wrong hands.

484
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,320
Why don't you just remove my tattoo?

485
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,600
Nice try,
but you might have memorized it.

486
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:40,560
No, I mightn't.

487
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,040
I can't even remember
my mother's maiden name.

488
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,600
It's Gleissner.

489
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,600
Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars.

490
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,320
I hate the future.

491
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,240
Man, that cube root was
a real buzzer-beater, Clyde.

492
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:05,520
Zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one!

493
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,560
Blast him!

494
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,760
You missed. Oh, great master.

495
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,440
Hello, 2000.

496
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,160
I'm home.

497
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,480
Happy New Year, naked weirdo!

498
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,760
Happy New Year.

499
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,960
Well, we'll never know
where the ass guy went,

500
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,960
and since we can't kill him,
I say live and let live.

501
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,880
That's sweet, boss.

502
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,560
Fry'll be nice and cozy
back in the year 2000.

503
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,040
What? How do you know
he went to the year 2000?

504
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,960
That's where he always goes.

505
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,080
Better play it safe.
Go there a little earlier and wait for him.

506
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,080
You know what to do.

507
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:01,320
You want me to concludify him
like some sort of dispatcherator?

508
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,000
- Yes, and don't forget to terminate him.
- Got it.

509
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,640
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.

510
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,680
What's with the doofy sunglasses?

511
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,760
It's really bright in the past.

512
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,080
Zero, zero, one, one, zero...

513
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,800
Okay, Fry. Come to papa.

514
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,440
Man, I'm bored.

515
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,920
Hey, there you are.

516
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,200
Oh, wait.
That's Fry before he goes to the future.

517
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,560
I'm waiting for the one
who comes back from the future.

518
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,560
Jeez, this is confusing.

519
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,000
And I bet it's gonna get
a lot more confusing.

520
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,720
That cheap beer
really goes right through you.

521
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,280
For the first time ever,
I gotta use the bathroom.

522
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,920
But if I leave, I might miss Fry.

523
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,320
Unless...

524
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,000
Zero, zero,
one, one, zero, zero...

525
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,240
And I bet it's gonna get
a lot more confusing.

526
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,480
Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future.

527
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,240
Stay here and wait for Fry
while I go to the bathroom.

528
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:21,680
Okay, boss.

529
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,800
After I kill Fry, you're next.

530
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,440
- What?
- Nothing.

531
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,920
What the... Who are you?

532
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:31,760
I'm Bender from way at the end.

533
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,000
I came back to put
this rub-on time code on Fry's ass.

534
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:36,920
So what are you now, a butler?

535
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,440
Spot of tea, please, jerk wad.

536
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,000
It's called class, you yokel.

537
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:46,120
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a buttocks to tattoo.

538
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:57,760
Hello, 2000.

539
00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,480
I'm home.

540
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,760
Happy New Year, naked weirdo!

541
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,880
Happy New Year.

542
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,480
<i>Hasta la vista, meat bag.</i>

543
00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,600
Bender? What are you doing?
It's me, your best friend.

544
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,480
Must obey orders.

545
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,760
Mustn't kill friend.

546
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,080
Badly want to urinate!

547
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:28,240
- What's happening? Are you urinating?
- Entering auto-destruct sequence.

548
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,120
Crap, I hate auto-destruct sequence.

549
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,600
Explosion in seven, six...

550
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,600
It'll be a cold day in hell, my friend.

551
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:42,440
Five... Hey, I'm supposed to be
the one saying cool things.

552
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,000
Hey!

553
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,360
So the game
of cat and mouse begins, huh?

554
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,080
Let us match wits.

555
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,920
Oh, how am I supposed to find him?

556
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,840
All those times he blabbed on and on
about his life in the 20th century,

557
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,200
if only I had paid
the slightest bit of attention.

558
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,400
Oh, well, guess I better go kill myself.

559
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,040
Hello, bartender?

560
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,480
I have thought it over,
and far from being a fat pig,

561
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,640
you are very nice,
and I would like another drink...

562
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,360
Take a barf, drunky.

563
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,480
Okay, suicide booth,
give me your best shot.

564
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,040
Electrocution, please. Side order of poison.

565
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,680
Hello? Kill me, you stupid machine.

566
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,400
What the...
"Local calls 50 cents"?

567
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,960
It's a street-corner telephone parlor.

568
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,120
What kind of horrible
suicide-free time is this?

569
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,040
Wait a minute.

570
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:59,240
Maybe this handy encyclopedia
of humans will help me track Fry down.

571
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,400
Fry, Fry, Fry.

572
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,520
One of these Frys must be Fry.

573
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:09,320
Look out, Philip Fry,
'cause I got a little present for you.

574
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,200
My name is Philip Fry.
Where's my present?

575
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,760
Hang on a second, Fry.
I don't remember you being that ugly.

576
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,360
No, no, I've always been this ugly.

577
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,960
Let me see your ass.

578
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,240
No tattoo. Okay, you can go.

579
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:28,680
Farewell, sir.

580
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,320
Say your prayers, Fry.

581
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,480
This isn't Fry.
I kicked Fry out two hours ago.

582
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,600
This is my new boyfriend...

583
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,520
- Constantine.
- Really? That's a dumb name.

584
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,240
Could be a trick.
Let me see your ass, Constantine.

585
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,280
Oh, nice. Now I see why she left Fry.

586
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,000
Okay, you're still clean.
I mean, metaphorically.

587
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:11,000
He must have left the city.
Man, this could take all day.

588
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,560
You guys wouldn't know a chad
if it was taped to your...

589
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,120
- The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore.
- Thanks, Phil.

590
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:27,280
Here's to four years
of clean air, clean government,

591
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,280
and amazing new technologies
such as the...

592
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:31,600
Robot!

593
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:32,960
Philip Fry?

594
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,320
<i>12 years passed.</i>

595
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,640
<i>Then, this.</i>

596
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,320
Philip J. Fry?

597
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,400
Phil, some kind of trash can
here to see you.

598
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:08,840
He's coming.

599
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,680
Are you made of Tinkertoy?

600
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,440
It's been 12 years.
Maybe I'm getting taller.

601
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,080
You're not getting smarter.

602
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:20,320
Listen, pipsqueak,
are you Philip J. Fry or not?

603
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,000
'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you.

604
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,040
I'd like to see you try.

605
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,160
You want Uncle Phil.

606
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:31,840
He went to the North Pole
on a fishing boat.

607
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,720
The North Pole! I was just there.

608
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:42,760
One ticket to the North Pole, please.
Broom-closet class.

609
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:44,600
Fry?

610
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:48,040
If only I could be sure.

611
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,440
It is Fry.

612
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,160
I'd recognize me,
and hence him, anywhere.

613
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:01,840
Follow that guy.

614
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:03,480
There's an extra 100 in it for you

615
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,680
if you follow him so closely
that you run him over.

616
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:06,760
Yes, sir.

617
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:38,480
Dang! That $100 could have bought me
one gallon of gas.

618
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:56,720
Oh, I lost him. People will call me a failure.

619
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:03,440
Others, however, will call me
the world's sexiest killing machine,

620
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,240
who's fun at parties.

621
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,200
Fry, old buddy. It's me, Bender.

622
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,720
I totally killed him!

623
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,800
Oh, God, what have I done?

624
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,840
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.

625
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,680
What's with the doofy sunglasses?

626
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,080
It's really bright in the past.

627
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,280
Zero, zero, one, one, zero...

628
00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:49,000
Mission accomplished.

629
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,240
Fry is dead?

630
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,320
No other robot could've done it.

631
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,200
It took 12 years of tireless stalking,

632
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,480
but I hunted down and killed
my best friend.

633
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:01,360
I'm the greatest!

634
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,280
<i>Time code
and obedience virus erased.</i>

635
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,160
<i>Also, 50 terabytes of porn.</i>

636
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:09,600
Hey!

637
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,280
You've got no code, no porn,
and you're ugly.

638
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:13,800
Let's dance!

639
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,120
<i>Nuh-nuh-nuh
Nuh-nuh-nuh</i>

640
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,280
Now, it's true, we'll all miss Fry.

641
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,680
He was the only one of you
who never struck me!

642
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,120
And we'll never see his boyish smile
and hair horn again.

643
00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:34,160
But I bet he went back to his own time.

644
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:37,520
I'm sure he was very happy
and lived to a ripe old age.

645
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,120
He wasn't and he didn't!

646
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:45,480
Struggling alone against incredible odds,
I, Bender, managed to kill him.

647
00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:51,320
I blew him to mush
like a midget in a microwave.

648
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,600
Oh, don't blame yourself, Bender.

649
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,760
I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!

650
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,360
Us? How can you possibly blame us?

651
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,400
It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.

652
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,640
Fry!

653
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:10,680
I'd give anything to un-murder you!

654
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,720
- Did someone call me?
- No!

655
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,440
Fry?

656
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,520
But I killed you in 2012. Unless...

657
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,720
Nope, he's not a zombie.

658
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,320
- Welcome back, Fry.
- Thank you, Lars.

659
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,720
I... I'll see you later, honey.

660
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,000
So tell us, Fry,
if Bender killed you centuries ago,

661
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,160
how in Satan's glorious name
did you return?

662
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,440
Oh, it's an astonishing tale
of incredibleness.

663
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,880
It all began when I went back in time.

664
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:47,800
Duh!

665
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,160
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.

666
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,240
I'm back from that delivery
to the cryogenic lab.

667
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,720
<i>Great, I'll put you on the cover
of Big Whoop magazine.</i>

668
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:06,120
- I'm starving. Can I have a slice?
- Help yourself. Cash up front.

669
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,360
<i>This note is legal tender.</i>

670
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,240
<i>Unfortunately,
I had no money from that era.</i>

671
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,800
<i>But that's when it hit me.
I knew where to find free pizza.</i>

672
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,000
Ice cold.

673
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:26,440
<i>That's when it hit me again.</i>

674
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,520
But an hour ago,
this pizza's still lukewarm!

675
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,480
"Zero, zero, one, one, zero..."

676
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,520
Explosion in seven, six...

677
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,800
It'll be a cold day in hell, my friend.

678
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,320
Five... Hey, I'm supposed to be
the one saying cool things.

679
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,440
- Nice kick, me.
- Thanks. What are you doing here?

680
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,320
One hour from now,
I travel back in time for free pizza.

681
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,560
But Nibbler said not to use the time code.

682
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,520
Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code.

683
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,760
That pizza sure was good.

684
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,680
- You pig.
- Whatever.

685
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,840
<i>That's when it hit me yet a third time.</i>

686
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,000
You idiot!

687
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,360
Frozen me's still got a wallet
full of old-timey money.

688
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,160
Yuck! I touched my own butt!

689
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,080
So I unfroze 10 minutes ago,
and I walked over here,

690
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,640
and then it was now,
and then I don't know what happened.

691
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,280
Well, I'm glad you're alive,

692
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,680
but I don't want people to say
I'm incompetent,

693
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,160
so I better kill you again. Hold still.

694
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,760
Bender! Stop killing for a minute!

695
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,640
The Fry you murdered
was doomed anyway.

696
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:56,800
See?

697
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,400
What have you got there? Numbers?

698
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,440
Here, when the time code duplicates
a living thing,

699
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,040
the copy is always doomed.

700
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,640
And that includes
flabby Jamaican pot-bellies.

701
00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:09,360
Kiss my front-butt.

702
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,920
So my copy lived 12 years
before Bender murdered him?

703
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,440
Brutally murdered.

704
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,440
I wonder what his life was like.

705
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,320
I guess we'll never know.

706
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:20,760
Or will we?

707
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,160
Nope.

708
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,440
<i>They won't know. But you will.</i>

709
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,080
<i>Lucky you.</i>

710
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:33,320
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.

711
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,560
I'm back from that delivery
to the cryogenic lab.

712
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,880
<i>I know. I read about it
in Big Whoop magazine.</i>

713
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,400
So my girlfriend kicked me out.
Can I rent the upstairs storage room?

714
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:45,720
The upstairs storage?

715
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:48,480
I like you, kid.

716
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,160
Your lousy life makes me feel
good about myself.

717
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:52,440
The room's yours.

718
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:55,400
Here, take some rat spray
for the meatball hamper.

719
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,280
Happy day, man. Good to have you back.

720
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,640
Indeed, but the scammers
will soon sprunje the code again.

721
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:49,200
We must remove the time tattoo at once,
and as painlessly as possible.

722
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:55,800
Hurry! They're coming!

723
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:00,520
There, the code is gone.

724
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,880
I saved the space-time continuum
and 40% of your rectum.

725
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,880
- Yeah!
- That's all you need.

726
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,560
Oh, I sprunje code.

727
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,720
Too late, Nudar.
I've wiped Fry's butt clean.

728
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:14,520
We'll see about that.

729
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:21,040
Nothing, boss.
We sprunjed his ass inside and out.

730
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,400
The only information we found was
a hair shaped like the number six.

731
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,040
Give me that!

732
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:30,240
Nine. All right, let him go.
I guess the time code really is gone.

733
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:31,280
Thank God.

734
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:32,440
The present may stink,

735
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,000
but at least now we can look
forward to a better yesterday.

736
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,680
I'm sorry, Leela,
but I can't keep living in the past.

737
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:45,480
By which I mean the future.

738
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:46,640
I'll always love you,

739
00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:49,320
but I've got to move on
and find my life's purpose.

740
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,960
<i>And that's how Bungles the monkey
finally found a friend.</i>

741
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:54,320
I miss Morbo.

742
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,920
<i>And finally, tonight
on The Late Cute Animal News,</i>

743
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,800
<i>a story that will really
tug your heartstrings</i>

744
00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:02,760
<i>way more than Bungles,
the doll-raping monkey.</i>

745
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:06,680
<i>It's the tale of lonely Leelu,
the little orphan narwhal.</i>

746
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,240
<i>Leelu is a rare toothed, female narwhal</i>

747
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,000
<i>who got disoriented
and washed up in Atlantic City,</i>

748
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,120
<i>as we all do from time to time.</i>

749
00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:18,400
<i>But without a mother,
she's lost the will to eat.</i>

750
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,200
<i>Come on, take a sip.</i>

751
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,760
I know how to make things eat.
Maybe this is my purpose in life.

752
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,680
Hi, I'd like to apply for a job
working with Leelu.

753
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:32,000
Question number one.

754
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,680
Do you have any experience
working with marine mammals?

755
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,960
- No, but I think they're pretty neat.
- That answers question number two.

756
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,000
Question number three.

757
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,960
Do you know where the door is,
or do you prefer to be kicked out?

758
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:44,280
I don't know. I guess kicked out.

759
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:46,480
Hiya, girl!

760
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,680
My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie,

761
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,400
'cause I like things
that have only one thing

762
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,320
instead of two things.

763
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,400
Holy mackerel!
She's eating whole mackerel.

764
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,480
I don't know what your secret is,
but if you'll work for minimum wage,

765
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:01,640
you can start tomorrow.

766
00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:04,440
If I work for less than minimum,
can I start today?

767
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,160
I don't see why not.

768
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,600
<i>In business news, the weak
and gullible inhabitants of Earth</i>

769
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,080
<i>were plunged
into economic depression today</i>

770
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,720
<i>as the scammer aliens finished
stealing every item of value,</i>

771
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,320
<i>including ownership of this station.</i>

772
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,800
Tough times, Earth chumps.
We're repossessing your TV.

773
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,920
Seems you can't afford it
now that you're unemployed.

774
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:33,960
We're not...

775
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,640
I love the Head Museum at night.
It's where I come to be alone.

776
00:51:48,720 --> 00:51:50,080
- Hi, Lars!
- Hi, Lars!

777
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,960
<i>Lars and la belle Leela.</i>

778
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,120
I trust you brought some haute cuisine
for an old Frenchman?

779
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:59,280
Your favorite, General.
Torgo's Executive Powder.

780
00:52:02,240 --> 00:52:03,880
<i>Mmm! Magnifique!</i>

781
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,720
Come on, Leela. Let me show you
the Hall of Screaming Skulls.

782
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:13,360
It's so romantic.

783
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,600
What's wrong?
Is the screaming depressing you?

784
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:23,080
It's just... My life is changing so fast.
I don't know who I am anymore.

785
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:24,600
I know who you are.

786
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:27,840
You're the woman
I've been waiting for all my life.

787
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:34,840
Let's go to my place.

788
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,320
I like what you've done with it.

789
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:47,600
And that would be us, dump cakes.

790
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:48,760
We're buying the whole city

791
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,080
and turning it into
a private panda hunting reserve.

792
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,200
<i>Nuh-nuh-nuh</i>

793
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,600
There aren't any pandas in New New York.

794
00:52:54,720 --> 00:52:56,240
Back it up, Sal!

795
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,880
Look at us, living like trash-eating bums
in an alley now.

796
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,080
Yes, now.

797
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,800
And on Xmas eve,
the most wonderful night of the...

798
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:24,040
Oops.

799
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,640
Well, at least we have each other.

800
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:29,720
So it truly is the worst Xmas ever.

801
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:32,960
Santa!

802
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:36,440
The Planet Express crew.

803
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:41,400
According to my list,
you've all been very naughty.

804
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,480
I'll be back for you
after I collect my milk and cookies

805
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,400
from starving orphans.

806
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:51,120
That's it. I don't see how
things could get any worse.

807
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,240
We could sing.

808
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:53,960
I'd rather kill myself.

809
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:55,600
Why not do both?

810
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,320
Oh. Very well.

811
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:04,160
<i>I may as well jump</i>

812
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:05,960
<i>Those sleazy naked scammers</i>

813
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,160
<i>Made me look like a chump</i>

814
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:12,000
<i>They robbed me of my dignity
and most of my stuff</i>

815
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:13,920
<i>Lars brought me candy</i>

816
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,240
<i>Cram it down and shut the hell up</i>

817
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,000
<i>I can't compete with that</i>

818
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:23,600
<i>He's Barbados Slim and I'm Jamaican fat</i>

819
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:27,360
<i>Who would choose a backwards corpse
with lice in his hair?</i>

820
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:29,360
<i>Lars says I'm dreamy</i>

821
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:30,800
<i>Who the hell cares?</i>

822
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:34,440
<i>Oh, won't somebody shoot her, please</i>

823
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,440
<i>And put her out of our misery?</i>

824
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:38,680
That's my cue.

825
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:52,880
Oh, my word.

826
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,800
<i>Lars makes me puke</i>

827
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,480
<i>I bet she'd love me, too
If I was a baldheaded kook</i>

828
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,400
- Hey, guess what, guys!
- What?

829
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:05,800
<i>While we were huddled in fear</i>

830
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:07,520
<i>Lars popped the question</i>

831
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,560
- Congratulations!
- Mazel tov!

832
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,480
May stars in heaven bless your love!

833
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:12,920
<i>I think I'm gonna cry</i>

834
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,440
<i>'cause it's
an extra happy Xmas this year</i>

835
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,960
Now could things get any worse?

836
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,360
Ho! Ho! Ho!

837
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:26,800
Stop screaming.

838
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:28,640
That's just what the bomb wants us to do.

839
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,080
I say do what it tells us.

840
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,760
Don't worry, a bomb in a case is
just like a head in a jar.

841
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,400
Oh, Lars, not blowing us up
makes me love you even more.

842
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,240
Lifesaving goody-goody.

843
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,600
Well, now that death
has been staved off momentarily,

844
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:50,600
let me be the first to say

845
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,760
congratulations, Leela and Lars.

846
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:56,840
- Maid of honor!
- Maid of honor!

847
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:57,880
Oh.

848
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,480
- Oh, that's wonderful.
- I'm so happy.

849
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:04,680
I could make you happy, too,
if only you'd give me a chance.

850
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:12,080
En garde!

851
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,440
You've done a wonderful job, Fry.

852
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:35,480
When you first started,

853
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,480
I thought she'd be dead within a narweek,

854
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,120
which is six days, I believe.

855
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:40,640
No, Leelu's a champ.

856
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,720
She just needed someone
to show her how to eat.

857
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:46,800
Now that's the kind
of whale behavioral science

858
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,200
they don't teach you
in whale behavioral science class.

859
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:50,840
So what's up, Dr. Shlivinowitz?

860
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,200
This is a little hard for me to say, Fry.

861
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:55,720
You see, it's...

862
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,680
It's time we released Leelu
back into the wild.

863
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,160
I'm sorry, but the decision is final.

864
00:57:02,240 --> 00:57:05,200
Plus, we need the tank
for the Loch Ness monster.

865
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:07,520
But that turned out to be a log

866
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:10,120
with a Halloween mask stapled to it.

867
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,440
Yes, well, it still draws a crowd.

868
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:18,080
I can't let this happen.
She'll never be happy without me.

869
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:29,760
I know you're broke and homeless,

870
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,440
but you still want
a swank wedding reception.

871
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:35,920
So I whipped you up
some real nice budget appetizers.

872
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:38,200
I can keep these down.

873
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,000
Okay. That's a big yes on the crud puffs.

874
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,000
Try the shlimp cocktail.

875
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,960
There must be some way
I can stop this wedding.

876
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:49,600
- What if I steal the wedding ring?
- Already taken care of.

877
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,920
You think that will be enough
to stop the ceremony?

878
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:55,760
Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo,
so they won't even know the difference.

879
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:56,920
Wait a minute.

880
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,960
I think the copy I made
actually cost more than this!

881
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:01,880
Cheap, lousy Lars.

882
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:05,920
Actually, this is extremely nice.
But I really went all-out on the copy.

883
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,840
It was sort of my gift to them.

884
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:12,640
I can't let this happen.
She'll never be happy without me.

885
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:21,280
It's not fair. We need each other.

886
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:25,000
Fry, you dumb sack.
I don't care about your problems at all.

887
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:29,600
- You need your blanket, Mr. Panucci.
- I don't even wanna be here.

888
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,520
I only came because you wheeled me.

889
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:33,720
But if that narwhal means so much to you,

890
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:35,280
you gotta do something.

891
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,760
I know, but I can't just
go chasing after her.

892
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:41,400
- That'd be nuts.
- Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts.

893
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:44,760
Let me introduce you to my cousin.
He owns a small freighter.

894
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:46,960
That's him right behind us.

895
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:48,320
Maybe you're right.

896
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,280
Sir, I'd like to engage your ship
for a trans-Arctic voyage

897
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,680
to capture a narwhal
and bring it back to my room.

898
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:57,320
- The man is nuts, Leroy.
- Professional whale keeper, eh?

899
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,480
I've carried your type before,
and we don't get along.

900
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:03,840
Oh, I agree with your values
and your goals and your methods,

901
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,920
but somehow we just never click
on a personal level.

902
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,560
I'm not a professional anymore.
Just a narwhal-loving private citizen.

903
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:11,920
Then I'm your man.

904
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:15,720
We'll take on three barrels
of fresh sausage and sail at dawn.

905
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,280
Welcome to the wedding!

906
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,400
It's a foolproof plan.

907
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:32,120
They can't sign the wedding license
if I give them a pen with no ink.

908
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:37,800
Yeah, once they try to sign that license,
all hell will break loose.

909
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:39,520
Oy vey.

910
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:40,960
Go on now, man.

911
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:43,280
Don't you know nothing
about zipping up a woman's frock?

912
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,120
It's more my thing to zip them down.

913
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:51,240
Get your clumsy, muscular hands
off my woman, Barbados.

914
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,040
Hermes! Your body!

915
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:55,440
I always said you were a little backward.

916
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:58,120
Well, I always said
you were a little forward.

917
00:59:58,240 --> 00:59:59,560
With my wife!

918
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,960
Ooh!

919
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,000
Consider yourself bird-dogged.

920
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,760
That's my man! Take a boat, Barbados.

921
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,040
Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing

922
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:14,240
your time-duplicate body is doomed.

923
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,400
Tomorrow morning, after the festivities.

924
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:18,760
Yow, baby.

925
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:28,920
Our little girl is finally getting married.

926
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,040
And to a normal two-eyed human.

927
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:32,640
He's not good enough for her.

928
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:34,680
Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes.

929
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:37,440
Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant.

930
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:41,480
Dearly liked,

931
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:45,040
we are gathered here
before one or more gods, or fewer,

932
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,920
to join this couple
in pretty good matrimony.

933
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:49,920
If anyone objects to this union,

934
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,160
let them speak now
or forever hold their peace,

935
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:54,920
or do something else.

936
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:05,240
It's been two years, Fry.

937
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:08,720
We've caught 108 narwhals
and set them all free again.

938
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:11,480
- None of them were Leelu.
- But all of them were edible.

939
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,640
Can we at least eat that one?
I'm sick of sausage.

940
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:18,400
I'd know
that modified extended tooth anywhere.

941
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:19,920
To the boats!

942
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,520
Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry!

943
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,200
Oh, I've missed you, too, Leelu.

944
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,680
But we'll never be apart again
because we care too much for each other.

945
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:36,800
Fire!

946
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,840
Now, if the couple will sign
the wedding license.

947
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:03,360
I warned him!

948
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:07,320
I warned him a time paradox duplicate
is always doomed.

949
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,280
- What?
- Oh, no, my man.

950
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:12,200
He's essentially dead again.

951
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:13,240
Relax, ma'am.

952
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,720
Your husband's original body
will be repaired within one week.

953
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:19,600
Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy.

954
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,320
Cruel runnings, man.

955
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:27,240
- Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy.
- Well, let's get on with it.

956
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,640
Don't let my doomed body
and my doomed marriage

957
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:31,200
stand in the way of your happiness.

958
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:32,720
No, it's not right.

959
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:36,160
We don't want our happy day tainted
by misfortune and tragedy, do we?

960
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:38,880
- I'm okay with it.
- No, it's not right.

961
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:40,120
The wedding is off.

962
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,040
Oh, my goodness!

963
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,240
Finally, a happy ending.

964
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,760
<i>And now it's time for
Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.</i>

965
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:08,320
Even in a depression,
the entertainment industry thrives.

966
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,440
Are you okay, Leela?

967
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,360
Yeah, I'm just a little down

968
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:21,160
'cause the only man
I'll ever love left me at the altar.

969
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:24,120
- Plus I live in a dumpster.
- You stay out of my dumpster.

970
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:27,880
<i>We interrupt this
episode ofEverybody Loves Hypnotoad</i>

971
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:31,520
<i>to bring you a special address
from Earth President Nixon.</i>

972
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,920
<i>Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control.</i>

973
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,120
<i>No! Don't make me kill myself!</i>

974
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,480
<i>My fellow Earthicans,</i>

975
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:42,720
<i>I've just received some really great news.</i>

976
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:43,880
I'm about to close a deal

977
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,840
that will allow us to buy Earth back
from the scammers.

978
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,720
That'll teach those scammers and me.

979
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:51,640
Just when things looked darkest,

980
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,800
I received an e-mail
from the Andromeda Galaxy.

981
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:58,760
It seems we've won their
quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes.

982
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:00,960
Oh, Lord.

983
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:02,480
And all I had to do was hand over

984
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,360
our last remaining land
and water as collateral.

985
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:06,440
So assuming all goes...

986
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:09,600
What's that, Agnew? A telegram?

987
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:16,280
There... Seems to have been some...

988
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:17,840
We've been scammed again, people.

989
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:21,760
Prepare to evacuate Earth.
I mean, New Scamedonia.

990
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:28,080
<i>Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na</i>

991
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,000
<i>Hey, hey, hey</i>

992
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,920
<i>We took your stuff</i>

993
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:34,040
All aboard for Neptune!

994
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,520
Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune.

995
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:38,840
I'll be cold and heavy.

996
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:42,960
Thanks for the planet, suckers.

997
01:05:06,560 --> 01:05:10,200
It's so cold, my processor is running
at peak efficiency.

998
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:12,040
What are you, a whining machine?

999
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:15,000
If you want to worry about something,
worry about the yetis.

1000
01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:16,440
Yetis?

1001
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:20,280
Oh, yetis.

1002
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:23,720
Amy, you speak yeti.
What are they saying?

1003
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,880
I'm not sure, but it sounds
like something to do with...

1004
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,680
"Assaulting the interlopers".

1005
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,680
Don't mess with me,
you ice-crapping snow-honkies.

1006
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,520
I just got dumped.

1007
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:47,320
Sweet yeti of the Serengeti,
she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y.

1008
01:05:57,400 --> 01:05:59,400
- Is that normal?
- No.

1009
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:01,600
Perhaps if we were to cook
and eat her slightly...

1010
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:02,760
Leave her alone.

1011
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,360
She just needs me to cheer her up.

1012
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:07,440
Wanna sword fight, girl?

1013
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:14,840
That male narwhal seems
to be upsetting her.

1014
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:18,400
Get us out of here, Captain.
Full fast ahead.

1015
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,320
Damn whale keepers.

1016
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:34,960
Santa! We forgot he's based on Neptune.

1017
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:37,760
Ho! Ho! Ho!

1018
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:41,320
Oh, my heart's not in it.

1019
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:44,840
I'm too depressed
for murder and mayhem.

1020
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,600
Try some antidepressants.
They're Gummi.

1021
01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:49,840
What happened, Santa?

1022
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:52,640
The scammers cheated me
out of my naughty list

1023
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:54,560
to use for telemarketing.

1024
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,520
Can you imagine the harm
they could do with that information?

1025
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,440
I wanted to do that harm.

1026
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:01,720
That's it. They've gone too far.

1027
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:05,480
No more running and hiding.
It's time to fight back.

1028
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:07,960
Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela.

1029
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:12,000
We're fighting back and you're helping us,
you fat holiday idiot.

1030
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:14,280
That hurt.

1031
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,400
You're on the naughty list.

1032
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,200
So that's our proposal napkin,
Mr. President.

1033
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:31,640
We have just enough people
and ships to mount a ragtag attack.

1034
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:32,720
You wish, missy.

1035
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,840
Dog-danged scammers used
our money to build

1036
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:38,080
a fleet of remote-controlled,
solid-gold Death Stars.

1037
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,880
Ooh! I'd take one of those
with a side of chili fries.

1038
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:44,680
We're hopelessly outgunned.

1039
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:47,480
The force is with us, but that's about it.

1040
01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:51,800
But we have access
to a huge manufacturing complex.

1041
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:54,480
<i>I brought the elves back from vacation</i>

1042
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:56,960
<i>Chained them up
and called my holiday friends</i>

1043
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,120
<i>Kwanzabot</i>

1044
01:07:58,240 --> 01:07:59,360
<i>And the Chanukah zombie</i>

1045
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,040
<i>Three mad, wise men
Bearing murder and frankincense</i>

1046
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:03,480
<i>- Damn you
- Shut up</i>

1047
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:06,680
<i>Now fetch those bunnies by the armful</i>

1048
01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:08,480
<i>- Says who?
- Says me</i>

1049
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,960
<i>Napalm makes them
slightly more harmful</i>

1050
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,000
<i>No one here goes near that door</i>

1051
01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:15,280
<i>This toyshop's going to war</i>

1052
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:17,880
<i>Talmud says
'"Be slow to anger'"</i>

1053
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,680
<i>Low-down scammers got me seeing red</i>

1054
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:22,680
<i>Got my TIE fighter out of the hangar</i>

1055
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:25,640
<i>Jump back, Jack
'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead</i>

1056
01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:27,480
<i>Ten hut!</i>

1057
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:30,240
<i>Dreidl, dreidl
I made it out of blasting clay</i>

1058
01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:31,320
<i>You're nuts</i>

1059
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:34,560
<i>And when it's dry and ready
For mercy they will pay</i>

1060
01:08:34,680 --> 01:08:36,480
<i>I can't wait eight nights or more</i>

1061
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,600
<i>This zombie's going to war</i>

1062
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,080
<i>Check, check it out
Kwanzabot in the Neptizzle-hizzle</i>

1063
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,680
<i>With my inhuman beat box
Busy building missiles</i>

1064
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:46,160
<i>They're guided by these
cute dancing fairy figures</i>

1065
01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:48,360
<i>Careful, little elf
That's proximity-triggered</i>

1066
01:08:48,480 --> 01:08:50,680
<i>I'm fighting back for Kwanza
So the children won't miss it</i>

1067
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,080
<i>I'm confused about its meaning
But I know it when they dis it</i>

1068
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:54,240
<i>- So, Santa
- Yeah, K?</i>

1069
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:55,400
<i>- CZ?
- Hey, hey</i>

1070
01:08:55,480 --> 01:08:58,240
<i>Let's slay them pimps
Come on, pimp my sleigh</i>

1071
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:00,280
<i>Easy with that toy artillery</i>

1072
01:09:00,360 --> 01:09:03,040
<i>Torgo's powder's deadly but unstable</i>

1073
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:05,840
- Can they sue for liability?
- Certainly not!

1074
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:07,960
<i>Use as much as you are able</i>

1075
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:09,480
<i>This bites</i>

1076
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:12,360
<i>You signed away your rights
when you were hired</i>

1077
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:13,600
<i>- Now, let's fight
- Let's fight</i>

1078
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:14,640
Okay!

1079
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:17,040
<i>Chestnuts roasting, I'm gonna open fire</i>

1080
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:18,800
<i>Prepare for gore galore</i>

1081
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:21,080
<i>This trinity's going to war</i>

1082
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:29,320
Troops, you are now equipped

1083
01:09:29,440 --> 01:09:32,120
with the finest weapons
magical elves can build.

1084
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:33,280
As for the battle plan...

1085
01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:38,160
And now, to present the battle plan,
Commander Zapp Brannigan!

1086
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,200
What?

1087
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:41,400
At ease, people.

1088
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,280
I was redecorating
my undisclosed location,

1089
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:47,440
when I received word
of an heroic invasion.

1090
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:50,720
Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs
from the cold, for God's sake.

1091
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,160
We fight this battle, not for ourselves,

1092
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:57,320
but for our children
and our children's children.

1093
01:09:57,440 --> 01:10:00,400
Which is why I'm forming
a children's brigade.

1094
01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:03,200
Will the following youths
please step forward?

1095
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:05,120
Cubert Farnsworth.

1096
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:08,560
- Here, sir!
- My boy. Oh, God, no!

1097
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:10,480
- Dwight Slim.
- Here.

1098
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:15,280
You took his name? Oh, God, no!
In several ways!

1099
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:27,360
Assuming the 15th pile of children
buys us a few seconds,

1100
01:10:27,440 --> 01:10:29,960
we will then execute maneuver 45.

1101
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:31,840
Followed by maneuver 44.

1102
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,080
- Forty-six.
- Oh, great.

1103
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:36,640
Now I have to start back at the beginning
with maneuver two.

1104
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:37,720
One.

1105
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,000
<i>Admiral, will we stop attacking
at any point</i>

1106
01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:42,880
or is this one of those
phony-baloney feel-good wars

1107
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,240
<i>like the war on drugs?</i>

1108
01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:47,680
<i>- What's your name, smart mouth?
- Lars Fillmore.</i>

1109
01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:51,720
The lovely Leela's
on-again, off-again paramour.

1110
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:55,360
Perhaps a suicide mission would knock
the insubordination out of you.

1111
01:10:55,440 --> 01:10:56,680
<i>Yes, yes, yes.</i>

1112
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,680
- We're approaching Earth, sir.
- Who?

1113
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:02,920
Oh, planet Earth.
The big blue velour marble.

1114
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:04,840
All commanders stand by.

1115
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:08,960
Prepare to transfer battle control
to the main duper-computer on my mark!

1116
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:17,320
<i>Ten, nine, eight...</i>

1117
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,520
Does anybody mind if I take command?

1118
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:26,160
- No.
- Nos.

1119
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,480
- Nah.
- Nope.

1120
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:29,800
- No, Miss Turanga.
- No, I do not.

1121
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:31,040
- No.
- It's cool.

1122
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:36,200
All right.
Unit one, acquire target A and fire!

1123
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:55,280
Yes! Nailed the children's ship.

1124
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:04,040
<i>Unit 10, Target H, 16-K.
Niner, niner, go left!</i>

1125
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:05,480
<i>I mean right.</i>

1126
01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:07,400
<i>55-U.</i>

1127
01:12:07,480 --> 01:12:08,640
8- R, 2-V.

1128
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:10,920
- Bingo!
- Cheating son of a...

1129
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:18,880
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

1130
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:25,400
It's hopeless!
I can't coordinate this many ships!

1131
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:27,440
Perhaps I can help!

1132
01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:32,120
Professor, can you wire my head
directly into the battle grid?

1133
01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:35,280
I can wire anything directly into anything.

1134
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:37,200
I'm the professor!

1135
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:40,560
Then prepare to see
a bureaucrat's brain in action.

1136
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:10,760
Finally, I get to save the Earth
with deadly lasers

1137
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:12,960
instead of deadly slide shows.

1138
01:13:27,080 --> 01:13:28,880
He's champing for a clamping!

1139
01:13:57,080 --> 01:13:58,040
Kwa-zang!

1140
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:02,160
I did it!
I saved Earth and won back my woman.

1141
01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:05,240
- Right, woman?
- Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool.

1142
01:14:05,360 --> 01:14:08,320
Truth be,
I married you for your sexy potato body,

1143
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:11,480
but I'm staying with you
for your sexy potato head.

1144
01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:16,080
You haven't seen
the last of Barbados Slim!

1145
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:18,080
Now, goodbye forever.

1146
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:23,960
<i>Nice attack, doo-doo heads.</i>

1147
01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:26,520
<i>Too bad we have one last trick
up our sleeve.</i>

1148
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:27,880
I doubt that.

1149
01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:30,280
Remember this, Farnsworth?

1150
01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:32,960
Farnsworth? That's me!

1151
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:36,120
My doomsday device!

1152
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:42,840
So it was the scammers!

1153
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:46,480
They sawed off my hand
and stole the doomsday device.

1154
01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:48,800
It wasn't them.

1155
01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:51,280
It was me, Bender.

1156
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,280
The master criminal!

1157
01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:55,800
<i>So what'll it be?</i>

1158
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:58,080
<i>- Unconditional surrender?
- Never!</i>

1159
01:14:58,200 --> 01:15:00,600
<i>- Or total destruction?
- Also never!</i>

1160
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:03,840
<i>You have 30 seconds.
Make up your minds.</i>

1161
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:05,360
Never!

1162
01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:11,520
People, I'm sorry.

1163
01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,480
You've never before
heard me say those words,

1164
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:17,560
or even the individual letters
that make them up.

1165
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:21,400
<i>But I am.
And with a huge amount of modesty,</i>

1166
01:15:21,480 --> 01:15:23,680
I humbly beg your forgiveness.

1167
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:29,720
Shut up and keep looking apologized to.

1168
01:15:37,800 --> 01:15:41,360
Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling
sensation in my sprunjer.

1169
01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:53,520
- Yay! Bender!
- All right!

1170
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:58,520
Bender, how the Hulk did you end up
with the doomsday device?

1171
01:15:59,760 --> 01:16:02,360
I was working the long con all along.

1172
01:16:04,760 --> 01:16:08,280
<i>While sawing off the professor's
hand with an extremely dull saw,</i>

1173
01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:09,520
<i>I had some time to think.</i>

1174
01:16:09,640 --> 01:16:13,480
<i>So I asked myself,
'"Who could use a doomsday device more?</i>

1175
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:15,960
<i>'"The scammers or me, Bender? '"</i>

1176
01:16:16,040 --> 01:16:18,920
<i>After several minutes of sawing,
I knew the answer.</i>

1177
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:20,360
<i>Me, Bender.</i>

1178
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:24,200
<i>So I retrieved the dummy satchel,</i>

1179
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,520
<i>and as soon as I was out
of the scammer's control,</i>

1180
01:16:28,640 --> 01:16:30,920
<i>I pulled the old switcheroo.</i>

1181
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:34,960
<i>And that's how I saved Earth
and am the greatest.</i>

1182
01:16:38,200 --> 01:16:44,080
Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you
Earth's highest award for swindling.

1183
01:16:44,160 --> 01:16:46,360
The Dirty Double-Cross.

1184
01:16:46,480 --> 01:16:49,240
<i>I'll always treasure it
and immediately hock it.</i>

1185
01:16:50,880 --> 01:16:52,520
There, your body's good as new.

1186
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:55,360
Just pop in an executive suppository
every few...

1187
01:16:59,880 --> 01:17:02,080
- What is it?
- Nothing.

1188
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:04,200
It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela.

1189
01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:05,360
I mean, come on.

1190
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,280
Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle!

1191
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:10,360
I can't help it. I was gonna be married.

1192
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:11,680
I was so happy.

1193
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:14,480
Well, maybe you'll meet
someone else someday.

1194
01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:16,960
No, you don't understand.

1195
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:19,360
Lars is the only man I'll ever love.

1196
01:17:19,440 --> 01:17:21,080
I know it in my heart.

1197
01:17:27,040 --> 01:17:29,120
You remember when we first met?

1198
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:33,840
It was right there in the cryogenic lab,
eight years ago today.

1199
01:17:33,920 --> 01:17:36,800
Meet me there in five minutes.
It's important.

1200
01:17:47,360 --> 01:17:49,280
Why are you so sad, Leelu?

1201
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:52,840
Him again?

1202
01:17:56,360 --> 01:17:59,160
Wait a second, are you two...

1203
01:18:07,800 --> 01:18:12,600
Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here!
We have to set Leelu free.

1204
01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:15,560
Dang. I never should have quit
my job at the casino.

1205
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:18,720
Me, neither.
But she needs what'll make her happy,

1206
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,240
not what'll make me happy.

1207
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:39,640
Goodbye, Leelu.

1208
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,040
I don't much know about frozen heads,

1209
01:18:49,120 --> 01:18:50,960
but, of course,
if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'll...

1210
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:52,560
- Leela?
- Lars?

1211
01:18:52,760 --> 01:18:54,600
I... I really have to go, I...

1212
01:18:54,680 --> 01:18:58,240
Fry, was this an idiotic trick
to get Lars and me back together?

1213
01:18:58,320 --> 01:18:59,280
Quite idiotic.

1214
01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:02,640
But you don't need to be an idiot
to see that you two belong together.

1215
01:19:02,760 --> 01:19:05,320
And, Leela,
I want what'll make you happy,

1216
01:19:05,440 --> 01:19:07,160
not what'll make me happy.

1217
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:11,760
I'm sorry, I really am,
but Leela and I just can't be married.

1218
01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:15,400
Why not? You obviously love each other.
What are you, cousins?

1219
01:19:15,480 --> 01:19:18,840
Fry, you deserve to know the truth.
It's because...

1220
01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:21,040
Nobody move!

1221
01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:23,920
Nudar, how did you survive
the doom blast?

1222
01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:27,880
My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed
most of the radiation.

1223
01:19:27,960 --> 01:19:30,360
In retrospect,
I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants,

1224
01:19:30,560 --> 01:19:32,480
but you know us nudists.

1225
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:35,080
- Now give me the time code!
- I don't have it!

1226
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:38,320
- Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt.
- Not you.

1227
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:40,040
- You!
- Lars?

1228
01:19:40,160 --> 01:19:43,400
He doesn't have it. He never had it.
Fry had it!

1229
01:19:43,480 --> 01:19:47,240
But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt!
I want to stress that part.

1230
01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:51,080
My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise.
Now where is it?

1231
01:19:51,160 --> 01:19:53,760
I'm not afraid of you
or your expensive gun.

1232
01:19:53,840 --> 01:19:55,960
- Go ahead and shoot.
- Oh, yeah?

1233
01:19:56,160 --> 01:19:58,280
Then what if I kill the woman you love?

1234
01:19:58,360 --> 01:20:01,800
Don't you understand, numb-neck?
He doesn't love me!

1235
01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:05,360
I've always loved you.

1236
01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:08,320
Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code.

1237
01:20:12,560 --> 01:20:17,080
- What the...
- Four, three, two, one,

1238
01:20:17,160 --> 01:20:18,400
boom!

1239
01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:27,520
Lars, no!

1240
01:20:59,920 --> 01:21:02,320
It's enough just to know you're happy.

1241
01:21:03,480 --> 01:21:04,440
You, too.

1242
01:21:05,680 --> 01:21:08,360
It's enough to know
you're happy with Lars.

1243
01:21:09,040 --> 01:21:11,240
Fry, old buddy! It's me! Bender!

1244
01:21:14,240 --> 01:21:15,360
My hair!

1245
01:21:16,440 --> 01:21:17,680
My larynx!

1246
01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:22,960
I'm Lars?

1247
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:24,960
I'm Lars!

1248
01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:29,280
Wait for me, Leela!
I'll be there in a thousand years.

1249
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:41,480
<i>I'll save my bread
And take it with me</i>

1250
01:21:47,040 --> 01:21:50,560
<i>Shame you won't be there
To see me</i>

1251
01:21:51,520 --> 01:21:54,680
<i>Shaking hands
with Charles de Gaulle</i>

1252
01:21:55,640 --> 01:21:59,760
<i>You can freeze
Like a 30th-century man</i>

1253
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:04,680
<i>So I got a job at the Head Museum</i>

1254
01:22:04,760 --> 01:22:08,400
<i>and waited for the wonderful day
when Leela would arrive.</i>

1255
01:22:08,520 --> 01:22:12,520
<i>Everything was perfect
until Hermes exploded at our wedding.</i>

1256
01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:15,800
<i>That's when I learned that,
as a time paradox duplicate,</i>

1257
01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:17,600
<i>I, too, was doomed.</i>

1258
01:22:17,720 --> 01:22:20,120
<i>I couldn't put Leela through that.</i>

1259
01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:23,280
<i>So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela.</i>

1260
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:25,560
I understand.

1261
01:22:26,040 --> 01:22:29,040
<i>That concludes
another silly-willy video will.</i>

1262
01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:33,840
He was a good man, Leela.

1263
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,040
Yeah, you were.

1264
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:41,960
Well, I guess that wraps everything up
in a nice, paradox-free bow.

1265
01:22:42,080 --> 01:22:44,840
- Not quite, my wrinkly brother.
- Right on.

1266
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:47,160
In order for any of this
to make any sense at all,

1267
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:50,120
someone must make
one final trip back in time

1268
01:22:50,240 --> 01:22:52,920
to put the code
on Fry's ass in the first place.

1269
01:22:53,880 --> 01:22:56,360
Sounds like a job for me, Bender.

1270
01:22:59,520 --> 01:23:01,080
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero...

1271
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:08,440
Mission accomplished!

1272
01:23:08,560 --> 01:23:11,520
- You put the time code on my ass?
- Someone's ass.

1273
01:23:11,600 --> 01:23:12,760
Oh, and guess what?

1274
01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:16,800
I met all these really cool guys with
treasure down in the limestone cavern,

1275
01:23:16,880 --> 01:23:18,320
so I invited them to stick around

1276
01:23:18,440 --> 01:23:21,760
instead of coming up
when they were logically supposed to.

1277
01:23:30,520 --> 01:23:34,440
No! No!
Everyone out of the universe! Quick!

1278
01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:39,520
What's the worst that can happen?

1279
01:23:57,360 --> 01:23:59,000
Well, we're boned.

1280
01:24:05,880 --> 01:24:08,080
<i>One, two
One, two, three</i>

1281
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:32,360
<i>All rise
Attention</i>

1282
01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:41,000
<i>Twenty-four
I'm gonna get twenty four</i>

1283
01:24:41,080 --> 01:24:43,480
<i>I'm gonna get 24th century
on his ass</i>