1
00:00:02,922 --> 00:00:05,938
- How is this? Is it okay?
- # Jingle bells chime... #
2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,611
Uh, no you have to move it a little to left
3
00:00:07,612 --> 00:00:10,248
- # Jingle bells chime... #
- Alright, here we go.
4
00:00:10,249 --> 00:00:12,293
- What's up?
- No, on the other left.
5
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,860
On my other left? I only have one left.
6
00:00:15,861 --> 00:00:17,032
It's just an expression.
7
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:19,108
Just move to the other direction.
8
00:00:19,139 --> 00:00:21,945
♪♪♪
9
00:00:21,946 --> 00:00:24,580
No, no, just move it to the other way.
10
00:00:24,581 --> 00:00:26,077
- Move to the other way.
- Towards your left.
11
00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:29,068
Your left and my left are the same,
'cause we're facing the same direction.
12
00:00:29,069 --> 00:00:30,879
We're two different people.
We can't have the same left.
13
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:31,692
Doesn't make sense.
14
00:00:31,693 --> 00:00:32,522
Here we go again.
15
00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,085
- Hey-oh!
- Yo!
16
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:38,342
Well, aw... all right, hey, go in the back,
we got some more Christmas lights.
17
00:00:38,343 --> 00:00:39,997
- We need some help.
- No, we're not helping you.
18
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,428
Come on! It's almost Christmas.
19
00:00:41,429 --> 00:00:43,833
Get into the spirit.
Let's put some decorations up.
20
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:44,696
Whoa.
21
00:00:44,697 --> 00:00:46,787
- What in the hell is that?
- Yeah, you like that?
22
00:00:46,788 --> 00:00:48,843
That's an industrial-size
snowblower we got
23
00:00:48,844 --> 00:00:51,131
from some dude on the
Internet from the Poconos.
24
00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:52,977
Yeah, you know how it
never snows on Christmas?
25
00:00:52,978 --> 00:00:54,537
We got a backup plan this year.
26
00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:57,257
We're going to have a white
Christmas out in front of the bar.
27
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,569
We're gonna make the snow ourselves.
28
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,727
If you guys love Christmas so much,
why do you always wait
29
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,437
until the last possible minute
to put up the Christmas decorations?
30
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,444
It is the day before Christmas.
31
00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:06,463
That's our tradition.
32
00:01:06,464 --> 00:01:08,445
Yeah, that's what we do.
We drink a lot of eggnog.
33
00:01:08,446 --> 00:01:09,840
We pass out, and then, you know,
34
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we don't put anything up,
so we do it all last-minute.
35
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Yeah, then we wake up Christmas
morning and throw rocks at trains.
36
00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:16,896
Why would grown men
throw rocks at trains?
37
00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,192
Why wouldn't we throw
rocks at trains? It's...
38
00:01:19,193 --> 00:01:21,005
Yeah, it's awesome. It's what
you do on Christmas morning.
39
00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:23,399
- We've been doing it since we were kids.
- Look, whatever.
40
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,531
I'm sorry that we love Christmas,
and we have awesome traditions,
41
00:01:25,532 --> 00:01:26,468
and you guys hate Christmas.
42
00:01:26,469 --> 00:01:29,089
Well, they hate Christmas because
I always got the best gifts
43
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,010
and Frank always gave
them shitty presents.
44
00:01:31,011 --> 00:01:31,608
Oh!
45
00:01:31,609 --> 00:01:33,838
You think we don't like Christmas
because Frank got us shitty presents?
46
00:01:33,839 --> 00:01:35,050
Is that really what you think?
47
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,949
No, Frank didn't buy shitty presents.
48
00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:39,388
Frank bought the most awesome
presents in the entire world.
49
00:01:39,389 --> 00:01:40,936
As a matter of fact, he would
find out whatever Christmas
50
00:01:40,937 --> 00:01:42,199
presents we wanted that year,
51
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,448
and he would buy them for himself
instead of buying them for us.
52
00:01:44,449 --> 00:01:45,379
Yeah.
53
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:46,992
- Really?
- Yeah.
54
00:01:47,652 --> 00:01:52,300
That must have been why he wanted me to
walkie you guys when you got to the bar.
55
00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:54,623
'Cause he was trying to do something
about making your Christmas better...
56
00:01:54,624 --> 00:01:58,061
Yo, Frank, the Eagle's landed.
They're here, so, uh...
57
00:01:58,062 --> 00:01:59,027
over and out.
58
00:01:59,028 --> 00:01:59,933
Go ahead.
59
00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:02,120
- Tell them to go outside.
- No.
60
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,794
Frank, whatever Christmas presents you
bought for yourself, you can bring them
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00:02:04,795 --> 00:02:06,829
in the bar and ruin them
in front of us in here.
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00:02:07,404 --> 00:02:08,854
No can do.
63
00:02:08,855 --> 00:02:10,865
It's too big.
64
00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:14,435
And, Dennis, you're really
going to want to see this.
65
00:02:14,436 --> 00:02:16,729
It's your dream gift.
66
00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:20,130
My dream gift?
What is he...?
67
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:23,523
Nah, oh... oh...
68
00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:25,398
No, God, no.
69
00:02:41,131 --> 00:02:42,792
Goddamn it!
70
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:46,912
Merry Christmas, bitches.
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00:02:47,274 --> 00:02:56,827
Sync by Benfo
www.addic7ed.com
72
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,674
Deandra...
73
00:03:22,075 --> 00:03:24,097
look at this.
74
00:03:24,098 --> 00:03:28,535
A nice Sergio Giorgini bag.
75
00:03:28,536 --> 00:03:30,174
- You wanty?
- I don't want it.
76
00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:31,210
Fake-out!
77
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,278
It's mine.
78
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:39,662
And I use it to keep in
my Cheesy Loops and...
79
00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:42,540
chocolate-covered malted milk balls.
80
00:03:42,541 --> 00:03:43,554
What is your problem, Frank?
81
00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,337
Why do you do this to us every year?
82
00:03:45,527 --> 00:03:49,044
I do it to you every year, Deandra,
because you and your brother
83
00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:53,098
never learned the lesson that
I try to impart at Christmastime.
84
00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:53,969
Oh, my God.
85
00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:57,154
And that is, you have
to earn what you get.
86
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:59,759
This principle made me
a multimillionaire.
87
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,913
No, no, stealing millions of
dollars from your ex-business
88
00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:05,741
partner is what made you
a millionaire, Frankra
89
00:04:05,742 --> 00:04:07,875
Eugene Hamilton was a great man.
90
00:04:07,876 --> 00:04:09,920
Do not speak ill of the dead.
91
00:04:09,921 --> 00:04:12,149
She's speaking ill of you.
92
00:04:12,422 --> 00:04:13,679
Oh, whatever.
93
00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:17,450
I'm gonna... burn up the
rubber with my Lamborghini.
94
00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:24,336
Oh, I got my nice Sergio Giorgini bag.
95
00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:26,259
Damn son of a bitch!
96
00:04:26,377 --> 00:04:28,253
How can he do this to me?!
He's gone too far this year.
97
00:04:28,254 --> 00:04:30,580
Okay, he's not even our dad
anymore, and he's still doing this.
98
00:04:30,581 --> 00:04:32,065
I can't take it anymore.
99
00:04:32,087 --> 00:04:34,996
Who puts cheesy snacks and
chocolate in a designed bag.
100
00:04:34,997 --> 00:04:36,879
Oh dear, ***
101
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,682
Okay, well *** begin to compare
a $250,000 Italian sports car
102
00:04:40,683 --> 00:04:42,445
to a handbag, but I get your point.
103
00:04:42,446 --> 00:04:44,069
This has got to stop.
104
00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:45,242
However, the good news is,
105
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,305
I think there's a big
opportunity in this.
106
00:04:47,306 --> 00:04:48,549
What kind of opportunity?
107
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,086
Well, Frank seems to think that
his old business partner's dead.
108
00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:53,819
- He's not dead?
- Nope.
109
00:04:53,932 --> 00:04:58,029
And that gives me a
very interesting idea.
110
00:05:02,297 --> 00:05:05,711
So, you want to talk
to me about Frank Reynolds?
111
00:05:05,712 --> 00:05:06,604
Yes, we do.
112
00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:09,687
See, Mr. Hamilton, we heard about
how Frank dicked you all up and down,
113
00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:12,523
and we thought we'd give you
a chance to get some payback.
114
00:05:12,524 --> 00:05:12,933
Mm-hmm.
115
00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,372
We thought you might want to
help us because, you see, Frank
116
00:05:15,373 --> 00:05:16,448
thinks you're dead.
117
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,695
Well...
118
00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:20,665
I have forgiven Frank.
119
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,401
- What?
- Frank?
120
00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:27,683
You see... some years ago, I had
a near-death experience, and I...
121
00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:33,687
I saw the light and I saw the
truth of the Lord and Savior
122
00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:35,103
Jesus Christ.
123
00:05:35,104 --> 00:05:36,587
Oh. Uh-oh.
124
00:05:36,588 --> 00:05:39,543
So I have forgiven everyone
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00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:41,698
who ever did me any harm.
126
00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:45,174
Okay, well, uh, that's cool because
you could probably still help us.
127
00:05:45,175 --> 00:05:47,213
Frank has not found the Lord yet.
128
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,699
No... Frank's got nowhere near the Lord.
129
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:53,627
Yeah, and so, in the spirit of
the Lord and Christmas and...
130
00:05:53,628 --> 00:05:54,499
And God.
131
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,630
...uh, all that, we want to do
a Christmas Carol type thing,
132
00:05:56,631 --> 00:05:58,840
where we show him the
error of his ways through
133
00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:00,998
his past, his present, and his future.
134
00:06:00,999 --> 00:06:03,388
See, Mr. Hamilton, we
feel like if Frank can just
135
00:06:03,389 --> 00:06:06,465
understand what a dick he's been
to people in his past, and how
136
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,985
he's just going to probably end
up old and alone like yourself,
137
00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:12,331
then maybe he'll be able to make up
for some of his past mistakes.
138
00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:15,651
When can I talk to Frank
about his salvation?
139
00:06:17,092 --> 00:06:18,120
At the end.
140
00:06:18,406 --> 00:06:20,521
- You can do it at the very, very end.
- The very end.
141
00:06:20,522 --> 00:06:22,087
- The very, very end...
- Yeah. Yeah.
142
00:06:22,088 --> 00:06:26,016
But in the meantime,
we need you to be our ghost.
143
00:06:28,718 --> 00:06:30,327
Just being in your childhood room
144
00:06:30,328 --> 00:06:32,327
is giving me the Christmas spirit, bro.
145
00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:33,688
Yeah, dude.
It's awesome, huh?
146
00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:36,358
It's pretty cool that your mom
kept all your stuff, man.
147
00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:37,204
Yeah, dude.
148
00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,592
I'm telling you I think I've got
an Omnibot around here somewhere.
149
00:06:39,593 --> 00:06:41,427
- You remember Omnibots?
- Totally. Those were amazing.
150
00:06:41,428 --> 00:06:43,717
- Oh, my God, so cool.
- Oh, check this out, dude.
151
00:06:43,718 --> 00:06:45,555
- Look at that: karate trophy.
- Why do you have a karate trophy?
152
00:06:45,556 --> 00:06:47,775
- I found that in the street.
- Oh, that makes sense, okay.
153
00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:50,703
And, oh! Captain Caveman.
154
00:06:50,704 --> 00:06:51,327
Oh!
155
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,265
Hey remember when we ***
156
00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,614
- ***
- Absolutely!
157
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:58,955
And then we would bash away at 'em,
and we'd bash the dogs to pieces.
158
00:06:58,956 --> 00:07:01,093
Yeah, boom! Remember that?
159
00:07:01,094 --> 00:07:03,770
- Simon?!
- Simon.
160
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,220
Dude, this game was my favorite.
161
00:07:05,221 --> 00:07:06,673
Do you remember how
challenging this was?
162
00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:08,780
Yeah, but, Charlie, don't get
lost in that, okay? Just...
163
00:07:08,781 --> 00:07:10,355
- I got the first one, bro.
164
00:07:11,592 --> 00:07:12,532
Uh-oh.
165
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,641
Ooh, ooh.
166
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,686
It just threw me a curveball here...
did you catch that?
167
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:20,157
- Uh, it went "bee-boop."
- I know, but I don't know what order.
168
00:07:20,158 --> 00:07:22,562
- Which one was "bee"?
- Which one lit up?
169
00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:24,560
The yellow and blue both lit up.
170
00:07:24,561 --> 00:07:26,578
- Well, then press yellow and blue.
- I don't remember which order it happened.
171
00:07:28,829 --> 00:07:30,338
- Oh, okay, you got it.
- Yeah.
172
00:07:30,339 --> 00:07:33,209
You got lucky, though.
173
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:37,235
Okay, now three happened,
and I have no idea which three.
174
00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:38,271
Hey-oh!
175
00:07:38,272 --> 00:07:40,440
Boop ba-ba,
beep-beep, ba-ba-ba!
176
00:07:40,441 --> 00:07:43,242
♪ Omnibot, the breaking robot from the... ♪
177
00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:44,721
Dude, we're going to
put a Santa hat on him.
178
00:07:44,722 --> 00:07:46,769
He's going to serve us
drinks and break-dance.
179
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,345
- That is awesome, dude.
- Yeah, it's awesome.
180
00:07:48,346 --> 00:07:50,071
What was he holding here?
181
00:07:50,072 --> 00:07:51,974
Is this his, like, instructional video?
182
00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:53,642
"Christmas Day 1985."
183
00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:54,926
Oh, shit!
184
00:07:55,052 --> 00:07:55,858
This is a home movie
185
00:07:55,859 --> 00:07:57,969
- my dad made of Christmas.
- Really?
186
00:07:57,970 --> 00:08:01,221
Oh, yeah, every Christmas morning he would
videotape me opening up my presents.
187
00:08:01,222 --> 00:08:03,363
- Toss that shit in, man.
- Yeah, man.
188
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:09,510
Look, son, a video camera, hmm?
189
00:08:09,511 --> 00:08:11,650
Oh, this is something.
190
00:08:11,873 --> 00:08:13,550
Can I open mine now?
191
00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,089
No, no, keep your voice down.
192
00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:16,808
Let your mother open hers first, okay?
193
00:08:16,809 --> 00:08:17,650
Here we go.
194
00:08:17,651 --> 00:08:18,464
Here we go.
195
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,509
"Mom."
196
00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:22,655
Let's go, Ma. Can't wait.
197
00:08:22,656 --> 00:08:25,127
Hon, wow!
198
00:08:25,128 --> 00:08:26,562
Cashmere!
199
00:08:26,563 --> 00:08:28,529
Beautiful!
200
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:34,798
- That's gonna look good on you, baby.
- Oh, yeah!
201
00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,475
- Now can I go?
- Uh, not yet, son.
202
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,455
Let's see what Daddy got, hmm?
203
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,469
Let's see what it is.
204
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,569
Would you look at this.
205
00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:48,583
A brand-new stereo.
206
00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:50,673
Oh, look at that.
207
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:52,580
That's gonna be perfect
for the living room.
208
00:08:52,581 --> 00:08:53,532
- Yeah!
- Goddamn it!
209
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,633
Can I goddamn go?!
This is taking forever!
210
00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:58,520
Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine.
211
00:08:58,521 --> 00:09:00,095
You go. You go, yeah.
212
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,616
Okay. It's your turn.
213
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,650
- Let's see what you got.
- Let's see.
214
00:09:07,232 --> 00:09:09,491
A Cabbage Patch Dep.
215
00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,092
You don't have to yell like that, okay?
216
00:09:14,093 --> 00:09:15,665
Who's down there?
217
00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:16,726
What?
218
00:09:16,731 --> 00:09:17,691
- Oh, my God!
- Who's down there?!
219
00:09:17,692 --> 00:09:19,602
Time to go, time to go.
All right, move.
220
00:09:19,603 --> 00:09:21,885
Son, get your... there we go.
Open the door.
221
00:09:21,886 --> 00:09:23,229
Get the stereo, get the stereo.
222
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,976
Honey, get the stereo.
223
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,317
That was awesome.
224
00:09:28,556 --> 00:09:31,348
- My dad looks really young, doesn't he?
- Dude, what was... what was that?
225
00:09:31,349 --> 00:09:33,369
What happened right there? Huh?
226
00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:35,347
What was the family on the stairs?
What was that?
227
00:09:35,348 --> 00:09:38,207
That was probably the next family
coming in to get their presents.
228
00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:40,222
What are you...
What are you talking about?
229
00:09:40,223 --> 00:09:41,987
What was happening there?
230
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,628
That was the Christmas tradition.
231
00:09:44,663 --> 00:09:46,424
Where you go from house to
house collecting your presents
232
00:09:46,425 --> 00:09:48,809
and then, when the next
family comes, you would run.
233
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,436
I'm not aware of this tradition, Mac.
234
00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:54,501
In fact, I think that you were
just stealing from that home.
235
00:09:54,502 --> 00:09:55,544
Oh, no.
236
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,387
I was taking their presents,
237
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,730
but they were taking mine.
Yeah, dude.
238
00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:00,881
That's why there were never any
239
00:10:00,882 --> 00:10:03,099
presents at my house when I got
back: the neighbors took them.
240
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,715
Its a South Philly tradition, Charlie.
241
00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:07,620
No, mm-mm, that makes no...
People don't do that, dude.
242
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:08,615
That doesn't make any sense.
243
00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:10,371
You're telling me that
Christmas morning, you would not
244
00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:11,881
go to your neighbor's house
and take their presents?
245
00:10:11,882 --> 00:10:14,369
No! No one does that.
246
00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:17,211
Well, my dad told me that
that was the tradition.
247
00:10:17,212 --> 00:10:19,981
And your dad is like a thief
and a murderer who eats people,
248
00:10:19,982 --> 00:10:22,088
so he's not really trustworthy.
249
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,288
This is really dicking
with my Christmas spirit.
250
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,376
Okay, whoa, bro.
251
00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:27,586
I tell you what: I got a plan.
Let's go to my house, you know.
252
00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:28,712
You'll see how my mom does it.
253
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:30,387
We'll get you right back
in the Christmas mood.
254
00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:31,278
- All right?
- All right?
255
00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:32,799
Okay, all right. Okay.
256
00:10:38,227 --> 00:10:41,882
You think... you think these
chains are really necessary?
257
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:43,835
Yeah, they're necessary.
It's part of the whole thing.
258
00:10:43,836 --> 00:10:44,739
Yeah, it's part of the look.
259
00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:46,053
Okay, now this is how it's gonna work.
260
00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:47,161
I'm going to pump this
smoke under the door.
261
00:10:47,162 --> 00:10:49,473
Then you blast in there
and give Frank a good scare.
262
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,238
Yeah, and remember, he's really
gonna believe you're a ghost,
263
00:10:51,239 --> 00:10:52,882
so he's going to listen
to anything you say.
264
00:10:52,883 --> 00:10:53,767
Definitely, definitely.
265
00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:55,304
You sit him down, you make him
watch the videotape.
266
00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:57,710
And that's what's going to prove how horrible
he's been to us all these years.
267
00:10:57,711 --> 00:10:58,855
- Yeah.
- When you're doing the ghost thing,
268
00:10:58,856 --> 00:11:01,035
you really got to sell it...
269
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,655
- you know what I mean?
- Make it sound real, like a ghost would.
270
00:11:02,656 --> 00:11:04,736
- Yeah, do it up; do it up.
- Okay.
271
00:11:06,568 --> 00:11:07,648
Frank!
272
00:11:09,631 --> 00:11:11,445
Frank!
273
00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:14,635
Frank!
274
00:11:14,636 --> 00:11:15,585
Put some vio brato into it.
275
00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:18,786
Fr-a-a-nk!
Frank!
276
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,920
Fire! Fire! Fire!
277
00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:23,804
We're gonna die!
278
00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:24,945
We're all gonna die!
279
00:11:24,946 --> 00:11:25,833
We're gonna suffocate!
280
00:11:26,427 --> 00:11:27,578
Gotta get outta here!
281
00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:30,767
Gotta get out! We're gonna die!
282
00:11:30,768 --> 00:11:32,283
Calm down, Frank.
283
00:11:32,284 --> 00:11:34,795
Calm down. There's no fire.
284
00:11:34,848 --> 00:11:35,710
Eugene?
285
00:11:35,711 --> 00:11:36,531
Yes.
286
00:11:36,532 --> 00:11:40,082
- A ghost! Ghost! Ghost!
- No, no!
287
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,378
Ghost! Ghost!
288
00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:42,220
Get out! Get out!
289
00:11:42,221 --> 00:11:45,002
No, Frank, stop, stop!
290
00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:45,861
Deandra! Deandra!
291
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:46,678
Stop it, Frank!
292
00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,157
- You're supposed to listen to the guy.
- No, he's dead!
293
00:11:49,158 --> 00:11:50,097
Calm down, Frank!
294
00:11:50,098 --> 00:11:53,081
Go sit on the couch and keep
your mouth shut, okay?
295
00:11:53,082 --> 00:11:54,438
Just sit and listen!
296
00:11:55,628 --> 00:11:57,800
Thank you. Now, yes, you're right.
297
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,722
Your old business partner is not dead.
298
00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:03,706
But Mr. Hamilton, do you have something
that you'd like to say to Frank?
299
00:12:03,865 --> 00:12:05,051
I do.
300
00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:09,197
Are you familiar with the forgiving
nature of our Lord and ***
301
00:12:09,198 --> 00:12:11,445
No, no, no Eugene, at the end, okay?
302
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,693
For the love of God, at the end, okay?
303
00:12:13,694 --> 00:12:15,116
- This is the beginning.
- Okay, but if you're gonna
304
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:18,413
bring God into it, could you do,
like, the Old Testament and the
305
00:12:18,414 --> 00:12:20,664
Covenant and keeping your eyes
closed or your face will melt
306
00:12:20,665 --> 00:12:23,714
and the coins and the
fear and the Indiana Jones?
307
00:12:23,715 --> 00:12:24,541
You know what? Sit-Sit...
308
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:25,496
- Just sit on the couch.
- Okay.
309
00:12:25,497 --> 00:12:26,870
- We'll take it from here, okay?
- Thank you. Thank you.
310
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,811
Good job, buddy; good job.
Okay, um, bust out the video.
311
00:12:29,812 --> 00:12:31,640
- The tape now, right?
- Let's do the video.
312
00:12:31,641 --> 00:12:33,396
What the hell is this?
313
00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:35,526
Welcome to your Christmas past, Frank.
314
00:12:35,527 --> 00:12:36,727
Is this gonna take long?
315
00:12:36,728 --> 00:12:38,916
Because it's cutting
into my Countach time.
316
00:12:38,917 --> 00:12:41,916
I was gonna go out and make
some modifications to the car.
317
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,649
- Modifications on the...?
- Yeah.
318
00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:45,976
No, no, no, you do not make
modifications on a Countach.
319
00:12:45,977 --> 00:12:47,105
That car is "pehr-fect."
320
00:12:47,106 --> 00:12:49,010
Yeah, but I can't reach
the door when it goes up,
321
00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:52,029
and I was gonna put a wire rig
and then drop the bag.
322
00:12:52,030 --> 00:12:54,312
You are gonna ruin that car, Frank!
You're gonna ruin it!
323
00:12:54,313 --> 00:12:57,232
Okay, okay, we're gonna
take you on a journey,
324
00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,605
like the Christmas Carol, and
you're gonna be a better person,
325
00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:02,981
and your life will be enriched and
fulfilled, and just watch the TV.
326
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:03,978
Hmm.
327
00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:07,077
Okay, Dennis, Deandra,
come and get your presents.
328
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,465
- We have presents!
- Oh, yes! Yes!
329
00:13:08,466 --> 00:13:11,318
Presents! Presents! Presents!
330
00:13:11,619 --> 00:13:13,748
- Christmas, 1986.
- Mm-hmm.
331
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:16,701
This is where you destroyed
Christmas for us forever.
332
00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:19,533
Oh, no, no, open the biggest one first.
333
00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:20,600
That's the one.
334
00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:22,169
Look at that, yeah!
335
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,856
That's for both of you.
336
00:13:23,863 --> 00:13:24,874
Tear it apart.
337
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:25,911
Go on.
338
00:13:25,915 --> 00:13:26,771
What's in there?
339
00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:32,883
There's nothing in there.
340
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,517
Fake-out! There's nothing in any of 'em!
341
00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:39,005
Now go wake up your pillhead mother.
342
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:40,759
Awww!
343
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,538
Aw, this is bringing
back such great memories!
344
00:13:43,539 --> 00:13:45,461
The fake-out was the best, right?
345
00:13:45,462 --> 00:13:46,511
Right, Eugene?
346
00:13:46,512 --> 00:13:48,476
No! No!
347
00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:50,632
Eugene, will you please tell him
what a terrible person he's been
348
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:52,227
for always doing this to us, please?
349
00:13:52,228 --> 00:13:53,712
What are you talking about?
350
00:13:53,713 --> 00:13:56,304
Eugene was the guy who
taught me the fake-out.
351
00:13:56,885 --> 00:13:57,852
He's right.
352
00:13:57,853 --> 00:14:00,227
But I have changed, my good friend.
353
00:14:00,228 --> 00:14:01,809
- Yeah, see, he's changed.
- Yeah, that's the point.
354
00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:04,199
That's the point. He changed, and so,
now it's time for you to change.
355
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,853
- Yeah!
- They're right.
356
00:14:05,854 --> 00:14:08,603
Are you ready to find
the loving arms of God?
357
00:14:08,604 --> 00:14:10,279
- God!
- Where is your anger?
358
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,914
This is time to get your vengeance, guy!
359
00:14:12,915 --> 00:14:14,714
- Let's all go to church!
- No!
360
00:14:14,715 --> 00:14:15,515
- No?!
- Church?
361
00:14:15,516 --> 00:14:17,187
All right, let's move on to
Christmas present.
362
00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:18,878
- Yeah, this...
- Let's just continue the journey.
363
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:19,836
All right, grab your jacket.
364
00:14:19,837 --> 00:14:21,196
- Eugene?
- All right.
365
00:14:21,197 --> 00:14:22,574
- Up, up, up, up, up. Come on.
- Let's go.
366
00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:24,442
Come on, Eugene, let's go.
367
00:14:28,085 --> 00:14:29,023
Yeah, man.
368
00:14:29,024 --> 00:14:30,419
See, this is Christmas, right?
369
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:31,538
Yeah, your mom's really into this, huh?
370
00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:35,312
She loves it. Hey, Ma! Hey, Ma! Hey!
371
00:14:35,424 --> 00:14:37,779
- Oh! Hey! Merry Christmas!
- I'm so excited! It's almost Christmas!
372
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:38,862
I'm so excited!
373
00:14:38,863 --> 00:14:41,174
- Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!
374
00:14:41,175 --> 00:14:43,363
Ooh, you brought the vodka!
375
00:14:43,364 --> 00:14:44,933
♪ Glug, glug, glug, glug! ♪
376
00:14:44,934 --> 00:14:46,029
♪ Christmastime, Christmastime! ♪
377
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:47,545
♪ Drinking on Christmas! ♪
378
00:14:47,546 --> 00:14:48,432
Thank you!
379
00:14:48,433 --> 00:14:50,402
Well, listen, you guys,
you make yourselves at home.
380
00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:54,747
I'll be in the kitchen making
gingerbread men for my gingerbread boys.
381
00:14:54,748 --> 00:14:58,513
- Yeah, gingerbread men!
- All right, man, I'm feeling I'm back!
382
00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,218
- This is Christmas, man!
- Mac is back!
383
00:15:00,219 --> 00:15:02,623
You got good tunes,
good food on the way.
384
00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:05,061
My mom and I would be excited
about the Santas coming over.
385
00:15:05,062 --> 00:15:06,409
- Yeah.
- This is Christmas, bro!
386
00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:07,864
Yeah, the, the what?
387
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:11,418
The Santas that come over on
Christmas morning to cheer my mom up.
388
00:15:11,969 --> 00:15:13,362
The Santas? Plural?
389
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,124
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Yeah.
390
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:18,418
Oh, dude, this was like
the best tradition ever, man.
391
00:15:20,869 --> 00:15:21,802
Every Christmas morning...
392
00:15:22,696 --> 00:15:26,433
...I would run to the door and I'd open it,
and I'd find the first Santa Claus.
393
00:15:27,273 --> 00:15:29,553
Now, the Santa Claus would come
in and he'd give me a present,
394
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,433
you know, or something,
and then he'd go in the room
395
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:33,070
with my mom and cheer
her up for a while.
396
00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:38,588
Then the doorbell would ring,
and the next Santa Claus
397
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:41,461
would come and he'd give me a
present or something or other,
398
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,257
and he'd go cheer my mom up for a while.
399
00:15:44,374 --> 00:15:46,663
♪ He knows when you're awake ♪
400
00:15:46,664 --> 00:15:49,306
♪ He knows if you've been
bad or good... ♪
401
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,262
♪ So be good, for goodness' sake... ♪
402
00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:55,102
I didn't always understand the presents...
403
00:15:56,103 --> 00:15:58,278
but I always found a way
to have fun with them.
404
00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:02,431
♪ Santa Claus is coming to town... ♪
405
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,696
Wait, dude, one year, Santa
even brought one of his elves.
406
00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:07,526
It's like a goddamn ***
407
00:16:08,447 --> 00:16:10,570
Or I think he was an elf.
408
00:16:12,073 --> 00:16:14,621
You know, the memory was blurried
for some reasons.
409
00:16:14,622 --> 00:16:16,071
Merry Christmas.
410
00:16:33,171 --> 00:16:35,012
Charlie, I...
411
00:16:35,391 --> 00:16:37,452
I hate to *** you man, but
412
00:16:37,453 --> 00:16:40,279
based on the story that
you have just told me,
413
00:16:40,553 --> 00:16:43,173
I think your mother was a prostitute.
414
00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:46,014
- What?
- Yeah.
415
00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:49,261
Come on, man! I'm just saying based on
that story that you just told me,
416
00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:53,176
I'm fairly certain that those Santas were
running a train on your mom for money.
417
00:16:53,177 --> 00:16:55,764
No, dude, they would just
give my mom money, and go...
418
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,426
Yeah.
419
00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:00,193
Chew on that for a second.
420
00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:03,999
- Let that settle in.
- No, no.
421
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,045
Yes.
422
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:09,258
- No, no.
- Yes. Yes.
423
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,217
- No!
- Yes.
424
00:17:11,218 --> 00:17:13,133
- No!
- Okay, just relax.
425
00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:14,874
- No!
- Are you okay?
426
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,382
- No.
- Jesus Christ, let's get you out of here.
427
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,472
- No!
- Let's get you out of here.
428
00:17:17,473 --> 00:17:20,149
- Merry Christmas, Mrs. Kelly.
- No! No!
429
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:22,847
Just relax, dude.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
430
00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:28,467
Okay, here we go.
Come on in, guys.
431
00:17:28,468 --> 00:17:32,312
Why... Why would you take me
to my old real estate office?
432
00:17:32,313 --> 00:17:34,359
Well, because Frank, tonight's
the annual Christmas party
433
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,494
and we want to show you how
much our ex-employees despise you.
434
00:17:37,495 --> 00:17:39,619
♪♪♪
435
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:42,886
- why is it a Christmas present to me?
- It's not a Christmas present, Frank.
436
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,497
This is the Christmas present.
437
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,536
All right, Frank, here's the plan:
438
00:17:46,737 --> 00:17:48,605
We're gonna hide you
somewhere in the office,
439
00:17:48,606 --> 00:17:51,274
so you can hear people talking
shit about you, all right?
440
00:17:51,690 --> 00:17:52,874
Oh, that's cool.
441
00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:55,186
Oh, I see where you're
going with this now.
442
00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:57,218
Sew me into the couch.
443
00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:59,267
Sew you into the couch?
What are you saying?
444
00:17:59,268 --> 00:18:01,162
Yeah, that's what I do
at home all the time.
445
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,278
Hide in the couch.
It's a great hiding place.
446
00:18:03,279 --> 00:18:06,154
I catch Charlie pounding
off all the time.
447
00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:08,343
Pounding off? Where do
you get these terms, Frank?
448
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,176
Why do you want to catch
Charlie masturbating?
449
00:18:10,177 --> 00:18:11,001
No, I don't care!
450
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,934
No, let's just hide you in a closet
or under a desk or something.
451
00:18:13,935 --> 00:18:16,671
Look, you want to do this Christmas
Carol bullshit, you do it my way.
452
00:18:16,672 --> 00:18:18,560
Okay, fine, we'll sew you
into a couch, Frank.
453
00:18:18,561 --> 00:18:20,808
Okay, right, you just rip off
the back, take out the stuffing,
454
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,951
put me inside and sew it up.
455
00:18:25,653 --> 00:18:31,418
♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year♪
456
00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:32,453
Excuse me, folks.
457
00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:34,188
Hey, happy holidays, huh?
458
00:18:36,392 --> 00:18:37,292
Here we go.
459
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,772
- How we doing over here?
- Uh, not well. This is ridiculous.
460
00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:41,079
People are definitely
starting to notice.
461
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,082
Of course they're starting to notice.
462
00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:44,100
There's a grown man
crammed inside of a couch,
463
00:18:44,101 --> 00:18:45,673
for Christ's sakes.
They're gonna notice.
464
00:18:45,674 --> 00:18:46,691
Let's just talk to some people.
465
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,815
How about... how about them right there?
466
00:18:47,816 --> 00:18:48,849
- This guy?
- Can you grab that guy?
467
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:50,158
- Hey, you two.
- Hey!
468
00:18:50,159 --> 00:18:51,442
Hey, you two!
469
00:18:51,443 --> 00:18:52,846
So how we doing at the Christmas party?
470
00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,284
- We having a good time?
- Yes, great.
471
00:18:54,285 --> 00:18:55,617
- Great, great.
- Good, good.
472
00:18:55,618 --> 00:18:57,237
So, u Sh, Frank Reynolds...
473
00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,411
Oh, yeah, we were
just talking about him.
474
00:18:59,412 --> 00:19:00,628
- He's the worst, huh?
- Right?
475
00:19:00,629 --> 00:19:02,202
Do, do you work here?
476
00:19:02,362 --> 00:19:03,634
- Yeah, of course, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
477
00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:05,502
- Well, we pop around.
- Yeah, we pop around here.
478
00:19:05,503 --> 00:19:07,061
- We're consultationists...
- For this.
479
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,950
So we consult here.
We consult across the street, too.
480
00:19:09,951 --> 00:19:12,845
- Across the whole street.
- Is there a man in that couch?
481
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,550
What are you saying?
A man in a couch?
482
00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:17,736
- Hello?
- That's absurd!
483
00:19:17,737 --> 00:19:19,718
I believe there's a man
in that couch right there.
484
00:19:19,719 --> 00:19:20,708
There is no man!
485
00:19:20,709 --> 00:19:21,591
There's no man.
486
00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:23,154
Say some things about Frank Reynolds.
487
00:19:23,155 --> 00:19:25,090
Say 'em loud, and make sure
that they're horrible, horrible
488
00:19:25,091 --> 00:19:26,762
things, and then we'll deal
with the man in the couch.
489
00:19:26,763 --> 00:19:28,152
So there is a man in the couch.
490
00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:30,168
All right, just call
Frank Reynolds an asshole.
491
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,405
Who is Frank Reynolds?
492
00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:32,673
He's the man in the couch!
493
00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:34,591
Oh, my God, what are you people doing?!
494
00:19:34,592 --> 00:19:37,094
Will you just say something
about Frank that's horrible?!
495
00:19:37,095 --> 00:19:38,096
Call him an asshole!
496
00:19:38,097 --> 00:19:39,075
Frank Reynolds is an asshole!
497
00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:40,967
- There you go!
- Thank you!
498
00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:43,578
Oh, great! Now you've...
499
00:19:47,058 --> 00:19:49,400
Oh, Jesus Christ!
500
00:19:49,462 --> 00:19:50,941
Oh, no! Oh, no!
501
00:19:50,942 --> 00:19:52,193
What is happening!
502
00:19:52,194 --> 00:19:53,910
Aah! Can't breathe!
503
00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:55,189
- Too hot!
- ***
504
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:58,976
- Too hot in the couch.
- Okay, she called you an asshole.
505
00:19:58,977 --> 00:20:02,856
- She called you an asshole, Frank!
- No air! No air!
506
00:20:02,857 --> 00:20:04,879
Air! Air!
507
00:20:05,044 --> 00:20:06,645
Oh! Geez!
508
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,984
Synch by Benfo.
www.addic7ed.com