1 00:00:02,922 --> 00:00:05,938 - How is this? Is it okay? - # Jingle bells chime... # 2 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,611 Uh, no you have to move it a little to left 3 00:00:07,612 --> 00:00:10,248 - # Jingle bells chime... # - Alright, here we go. 4 00:00:10,249 --> 00:00:12,293 - What's up? - No, on the other left. 5 00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,860 On my other left? I only have one left. 6 00:00:15,861 --> 00:00:17,032 It's just an expression. 7 00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:19,108 Just move to the other direction. 8 00:00:19,139 --> 00:00:21,945 ♪♪♪ 9 00:00:21,946 --> 00:00:24,580 No, no, just move it to the other way. 10 00:00:24,581 --> 00:00:26,077 - Move to the other way. - Towards your left. 11 00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:29,068 Your left and my left are the same, 'cause we're facing the same direction. 12 00:00:29,069 --> 00:00:30,879 We're two different people. We can't have the same left. 13 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:31,692 Doesn't make sense. 14 00:00:31,693 --> 00:00:32,522 Here we go again. 15 00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,085 - Hey-oh! - Yo! 16 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:38,342 Well, aw... all right, hey, go in the back, we got some more Christmas lights. 17 00:00:38,343 --> 00:00:39,997 - We need some help. - No, we're not helping you. 18 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,428 Come on! It's almost Christmas. 19 00:00:41,429 --> 00:00:43,833 Get into the spirit. Let's put some decorations up. 20 00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:44,696 Whoa. 21 00:00:44,697 --> 00:00:46,787 - What in the hell is that? - Yeah, you like that? 22 00:00:46,788 --> 00:00:48,843 That's an industrial-size snowblower we got 23 00:00:48,844 --> 00:00:51,131 from some dude on the Internet from the Poconos. 24 00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:52,977 Yeah, you know how it never snows on Christmas? 25 00:00:52,978 --> 00:00:54,537 We got a backup plan this year. 26 00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:57,257 We're going to have a white Christmas out in front of the bar. 27 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,569 We're gonna make the snow ourselves. 28 00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,727 If you guys love Christmas so much, why do you always wait 29 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,437 until the last possible minute to put up the Christmas decorations? 30 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,444 It is the day before Christmas. 31 00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:06,463 That's our tradition. 32 00:01:06,464 --> 00:01:08,445 Yeah, that's what we do. We drink a lot of eggnog. 33 00:01:08,446 --> 00:01:09,840 We pass out, and then, you know, 34 00:01:09,841 --> 00:01:11,739 we don't put anything up, so we do it all last-minute. 35 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:14,353 Yeah, then we wake up Christmas morning and throw rocks at trains. 36 00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:16,896 Why would grown men throw rocks at trains? 37 00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,192 Why wouldn't we throw rocks at trains? It's... 38 00:01:19,193 --> 00:01:21,005 Yeah, it's awesome. It's what you do on Christmas morning. 39 00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:23,399 - We've been doing it since we were kids. - Look, whatever. 40 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,531 I'm sorry that we love Christmas, and we have awesome traditions, 41 00:01:25,532 --> 00:01:26,468 and you guys hate Christmas. 42 00:01:26,469 --> 00:01:29,089 Well, they hate Christmas because I always got the best gifts 43 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,010 and Frank always gave them shitty presents. 44 00:01:31,011 --> 00:01:31,608 Oh! 45 00:01:31,609 --> 00:01:33,838 You think we don't like Christmas because Frank got us shitty presents? 46 00:01:33,839 --> 00:01:35,050 Is that really what you think? 47 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,949 No, Frank didn't buy shitty presents. 48 00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:39,388 Frank bought the most awesome presents in the entire world. 49 00:01:39,389 --> 00:01:40,936 As a matter of fact, he would find out whatever Christmas 50 00:01:40,937 --> 00:01:42,199 presents we wanted that year, 51 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,448 and he would buy them for himself instead of buying them for us. 52 00:01:44,449 --> 00:01:45,379 Yeah. 53 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:46,992 - Really? - Yeah. 54 00:01:47,652 --> 00:01:52,300 That must have been why he wanted me to walkie you guys when you got to the bar. 55 00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:54,623 'Cause he was trying to do something about making your Christmas better... 56 00:01:54,624 --> 00:01:58,061 Yo, Frank, the Eagle's landed. They're here, so, uh... 57 00:01:58,062 --> 00:01:59,027 over and out. 58 00:01:59,028 --> 00:01:59,933 Go ahead. 59 00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:02,120 - Tell them to go outside. - No. 60 00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,794 Frank, whatever Christmas presents you bought for yourself, you can bring them 61 00:02:04,795 --> 00:02:06,829 in the bar and ruin them in front of us in here. 62 00:02:07,404 --> 00:02:08,854 No can do. 63 00:02:08,855 --> 00:02:10,865 It's too big. 64 00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:14,435 And, Dennis, you're really going to want to see this. 65 00:02:14,436 --> 00:02:16,729 It's your dream gift. 66 00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:20,130 My dream gift? What is he...? 67 00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:23,523 Nah, oh... oh... 68 00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:25,398 No, God, no. 69 00:02:41,131 --> 00:02:42,792 Goddamn it! 70 00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:46,912 Merry Christmas, bitches. 71 00:02:47,274 --> 00:02:56,827 Sync by Benfo www.addic7ed.com 72 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,674 Deandra... 73 00:03:22,075 --> 00:03:24,097 look at this. 74 00:03:24,098 --> 00:03:28,535 A nice Sergio Giorgini bag. 75 00:03:28,536 --> 00:03:30,174 - You wanty? - I don't want it. 76 00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:31,210 Fake-out! 77 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,278 It's mine. 78 00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:39,662 And I use it to keep in my Cheesy Loops and... 79 00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:42,540 chocolate-covered malted milk balls. 80 00:03:42,541 --> 00:03:43,554 What is your problem, Frank? 81 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,337 Why do you do this to us every year? 82 00:03:45,527 --> 00:03:49,044 I do it to you every year, Deandra, because you and your brother 83 00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:53,098 never learned the lesson that I try to impart at Christmastime. 84 00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:53,969 Oh, my God. 85 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:57,154 And that is, you have to earn what you get. 86 00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:59,759 This principle made me a multimillionaire. 87 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,913 No, no, stealing millions of dollars from your ex-business 88 00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:05,741 partner is what made you a millionaire, Frankra 89 00:04:05,742 --> 00:04:07,875 Eugene Hamilton was a great man. 90 00:04:07,876 --> 00:04:09,920 Do not speak ill of the dead. 91 00:04:09,921 --> 00:04:12,149 She's speaking ill of you. 92 00:04:12,422 --> 00:04:13,679 Oh, whatever. 93 00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:17,450 I'm gonna... burn up the rubber with my Lamborghini. 94 00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:24,336 Oh, I got my nice Sergio Giorgini bag. 95 00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:26,259 Damn son of a bitch! 96 00:04:26,377 --> 00:04:28,253 How can he do this to me?! He's gone too far this year. 97 00:04:28,254 --> 00:04:30,580 Okay, he's not even our dad anymore, and he's still doing this. 98 00:04:30,581 --> 00:04:32,065 I can't take it anymore. 99 00:04:32,087 --> 00:04:34,996 Who puts cheesy snacks and chocolate in a designed bag. 100 00:04:34,997 --> 00:04:36,879 Oh dear, *** 101 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,682 Okay, well *** begin to compare a $250,000 Italian sports car 102 00:04:40,683 --> 00:04:42,445 to a handbag, but I get your point. 103 00:04:42,446 --> 00:04:44,069 This has got to stop. 104 00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:45,242 However, the good news is, 105 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,305 I think there's a big opportunity in this. 106 00:04:47,306 --> 00:04:48,549 What kind of opportunity? 107 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,086 Well, Frank seems to think that his old business partner's dead. 108 00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:53,819 - He's not dead? - Nope. 109 00:04:53,932 --> 00:04:58,029 And that gives me a very interesting idea. 110 00:05:02,297 --> 00:05:05,711 So, you want to talk to me about Frank Reynolds? 111 00:05:05,712 --> 00:05:06,604 Yes, we do. 112 00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:09,687 See, Mr. Hamilton, we heard about how Frank dicked you all up and down, 113 00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:12,523 and we thought we'd give you a chance to get some payback. 114 00:05:12,524 --> 00:05:12,933 Mm-hmm. 115 00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,372 We thought you might want to help us because, you see, Frank 116 00:05:15,373 --> 00:05:16,448 thinks you're dead. 117 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,695 Well... 118 00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:20,665 I have forgiven Frank. 119 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,401 - What? - Frank? 120 00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:27,683 You see... some years ago, I had a near-death experience, and I... 121 00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:33,687 I saw the light and I saw the truth of the Lord and Savior 122 00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:35,103 Jesus Christ. 123 00:05:35,104 --> 00:05:36,587 Oh. Uh-oh. 124 00:05:36,588 --> 00:05:39,543 So I have forgiven everyone 125 00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:41,698 who ever did me any harm. 126 00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:45,174 Okay, well, uh, that's cool because you could probably still help us. 127 00:05:45,175 --> 00:05:47,213 Frank has not found the Lord yet. 128 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,699 No... Frank's got nowhere near the Lord. 129 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:53,627 Yeah, and so, in the spirit of the Lord and Christmas and... 130 00:05:53,628 --> 00:05:54,499 And God. 131 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,630 ...uh, all that, we want to do a Christmas Carol type thing, 132 00:05:56,631 --> 00:05:58,840 where we show him the error of his ways through 133 00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:00,998 his past, his present, and his future. 134 00:06:00,999 --> 00:06:03,388 See, Mr. Hamilton, we feel like if Frank can just 135 00:06:03,389 --> 00:06:06,465 understand what a dick he's been to people in his past, and how 136 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,985 he's just going to probably end up old and alone like yourself, 137 00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:12,331 then maybe he'll be able to make up for some of his past mistakes. 138 00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:15,651 When can I talk to Frank about his salvation? 139 00:06:17,092 --> 00:06:18,120 At the end. 140 00:06:18,406 --> 00:06:20,521 - You can do it at the very, very end. - The very end. 141 00:06:20,522 --> 00:06:22,087 - The very, very end... - Yeah. Yeah. 142 00:06:22,088 --> 00:06:26,016 But in the meantime, we need you to be our ghost. 143 00:06:28,718 --> 00:06:30,327 Just being in your childhood room 144 00:06:30,328 --> 00:06:32,327 is giving me the Christmas spirit, bro. 145 00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:33,688 Yeah, dude. It's awesome, huh? 146 00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:36,358 It's pretty cool that your mom kept all your stuff, man. 147 00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:37,204 Yeah, dude. 148 00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,592 I'm telling you I think I've got an Omnibot around here somewhere. 149 00:06:39,593 --> 00:06:41,427 - You remember Omnibots? - Totally. Those were amazing. 150 00:06:41,428 --> 00:06:43,717 - Oh, my God, so cool. - Oh, check this out, dude. 151 00:06:43,718 --> 00:06:45,555 - Look at that: karate trophy. - Why do you have a karate trophy? 152 00:06:45,556 --> 00:06:47,775 - I found that in the street. - Oh, that makes sense, okay. 153 00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:50,703 And, oh! Captain Caveman. 154 00:06:50,704 --> 00:06:51,327 Oh! 155 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,265 Hey remember when we *** 156 00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,614 - *** - Absolutely! 157 00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:58,955 And then we would bash away at 'em, and we'd bash the dogs to pieces. 158 00:06:58,956 --> 00:07:01,093 Yeah, boom! Remember that? 159 00:07:01,094 --> 00:07:03,770 - Simon?! - Simon. 160 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,220 Dude, this game was my favorite. 161 00:07:05,221 --> 00:07:06,673 Do you remember how challenging this was? 162 00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:08,780 Yeah, but, Charlie, don't get lost in that, okay? Just... 163 00:07:08,781 --> 00:07:10,355 - I got the first one, bro. 164 00:07:11,592 --> 00:07:12,532 Uh-oh. 165 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,641 Ooh, ooh. 166 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,686 It just threw me a curveball here... did you catch that? 167 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:20,157 - Uh, it went "bee-boop." - I know, but I don't know what order. 168 00:07:20,158 --> 00:07:22,562 - Which one was "bee"? - Which one lit up? 169 00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:24,560 The yellow and blue both lit up. 170 00:07:24,561 --> 00:07:26,578 - Well, then press yellow and blue. - I don't remember which order it happened. 171 00:07:28,829 --> 00:07:30,338 - Oh, okay, you got it. - Yeah. 172 00:07:30,339 --> 00:07:33,209 You got lucky, though. 173 00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:37,235 Okay, now three happened, and I have no idea which three. 174 00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:38,271 Hey-oh! 175 00:07:38,272 --> 00:07:40,440 Boop ba-ba, beep-beep, ba-ba-ba! 176 00:07:40,441 --> 00:07:43,242 ♪ Omnibot, the breaking robot from the... ♪ 177 00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:44,721 Dude, we're going to put a Santa hat on him. 178 00:07:44,722 --> 00:07:46,769 He's going to serve us drinks and break-dance. 179 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,345 - That is awesome, dude. - Yeah, it's awesome. 180 00:07:48,346 --> 00:07:50,071 What was he holding here? 181 00:07:50,072 --> 00:07:51,974 Is this his, like, instructional video? 182 00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:53,642 "Christmas Day 1985." 183 00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:54,926 Oh, shit! 184 00:07:55,052 --> 00:07:55,858 This is a home movie 185 00:07:55,859 --> 00:07:57,969 - my dad made of Christmas. - Really? 186 00:07:57,970 --> 00:08:01,221 Oh, yeah, every Christmas morning he would videotape me opening up my presents. 187 00:08:01,222 --> 00:08:03,363 - Toss that shit in, man. - Yeah, man. 188 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:09,510 Look, son, a video camera, hmm? 189 00:08:09,511 --> 00:08:11,650 Oh, this is something. 190 00:08:11,873 --> 00:08:13,550 Can I open mine now? 191 00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,089 No, no, keep your voice down. 192 00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:16,808 Let your mother open hers first, okay? 193 00:08:16,809 --> 00:08:17,650 Here we go. 194 00:08:17,651 --> 00:08:18,464 Here we go. 195 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,509 "Mom." 196 00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:22,655 Let's go, Ma. Can't wait. 197 00:08:22,656 --> 00:08:25,127 Hon, wow! 198 00:08:25,128 --> 00:08:26,562 Cashmere! 199 00:08:26,563 --> 00:08:28,529 Beautiful! 200 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:34,798 - That's gonna look good on you, baby. - Oh, yeah! 201 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,475 - Now can I go? - Uh, not yet, son. 202 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,455 Let's see what Daddy got, hmm? 203 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,469 Let's see what it is. 204 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,569 Would you look at this. 205 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:48,583 A brand-new stereo. 206 00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:50,673 Oh, look at that. 207 00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:52,580 That's gonna be perfect for the living room. 208 00:08:52,581 --> 00:08:53,532 - Yeah! - Goddamn it! 209 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,633 Can I goddamn go?! This is taking forever! 210 00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:58,520 Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. 211 00:08:58,521 --> 00:09:00,095 You go. You go, yeah. 212 00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,616 Okay. It's your turn. 213 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,650 - Let's see what you got. - Let's see. 214 00:09:07,232 --> 00:09:09,491 A Cabbage Patch Dep. 215 00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,092 You don't have to yell like that, okay? 216 00:09:14,093 --> 00:09:15,665 Who's down there? 217 00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:16,726 What? 218 00:09:16,731 --> 00:09:17,691 - Oh, my God! - Who's down there?! 219 00:09:17,692 --> 00:09:19,602 Time to go, time to go. All right, move. 220 00:09:19,603 --> 00:09:21,885 Son, get your... there we go. Open the door. 221 00:09:21,886 --> 00:09:23,229 Get the stereo, get the stereo. 222 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,976 Honey, get the stereo. 223 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,317 That was awesome. 224 00:09:28,556 --> 00:09:31,348 - My dad looks really young, doesn't he? - Dude, what was... what was that? 225 00:09:31,349 --> 00:09:33,369 What happened right there? Huh? 226 00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:35,347 What was the family on the stairs? What was that? 227 00:09:35,348 --> 00:09:38,207 That was probably the next family coming in to get their presents. 228 00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:40,222 What are you... What are you talking about? 229 00:09:40,223 --> 00:09:41,987 What was happening there? 230 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,628 That was the Christmas tradition. 231 00:09:44,663 --> 00:09:46,424 Where you go from house to house collecting your presents 232 00:09:46,425 --> 00:09:48,809 and then, when the next family comes, you would run. 233 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,436 I'm not aware of this tradition, Mac. 234 00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:54,501 In fact, I think that you were just stealing from that home. 235 00:09:54,502 --> 00:09:55,544 Oh, no. 236 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,387 I was taking their presents, 237 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,730 but they were taking mine. Yeah, dude. 238 00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:00,881 That's why there were never any 239 00:10:00,882 --> 00:10:03,099 presents at my house when I got back: the neighbors took them. 240 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,715 Its a South Philly tradition, Charlie. 241 00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:07,620 No, mm-mm, that makes no... People don't do that, dude. 242 00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:08,615 That doesn't make any sense. 243 00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:10,371 You're telling me that Christmas morning, you would not 244 00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:11,881 go to your neighbor's house and take their presents? 245 00:10:11,882 --> 00:10:14,369 No! No one does that. 246 00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:17,211 Well, my dad told me that that was the tradition. 247 00:10:17,212 --> 00:10:19,981 And your dad is like a thief and a murderer who eats people, 248 00:10:19,982 --> 00:10:22,088 so he's not really trustworthy. 249 00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,288 This is really dicking with my Christmas spirit. 250 00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,376 Okay, whoa, bro. 251 00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:27,586 I tell you what: I got a plan. Let's go to my house, you know. 252 00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:28,712 You'll see how my mom does it. 253 00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:30,387 We'll get you right back in the Christmas mood. 254 00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:31,278 - All right? - All right? 255 00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:32,799 Okay, all right. Okay. 256 00:10:38,227 --> 00:10:41,882 You think... you think these chains are really necessary? 257 00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:43,835 Yeah, they're necessary. It's part of the whole thing. 258 00:10:43,836 --> 00:10:44,739 Yeah, it's part of the look. 259 00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:46,053 Okay, now this is how it's gonna work. 260 00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:47,161 I'm going to pump this smoke under the door. 261 00:10:47,162 --> 00:10:49,473 Then you blast in there and give Frank a good scare. 262 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,238 Yeah, and remember, he's really gonna believe you're a ghost, 263 00:10:51,239 --> 00:10:52,882 so he's going to listen to anything you say. 264 00:10:52,883 --> 00:10:53,767 Definitely, definitely. 265 00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:55,304 You sit him down, you make him watch the videotape. 266 00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:57,710 And that's what's going to prove how horrible he's been to us all these years. 267 00:10:57,711 --> 00:10:58,855 - Yeah. - When you're doing the ghost thing, 268 00:10:58,856 --> 00:11:01,035 you really got to sell it... 269 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,655 - you know what I mean? - Make it sound real, like a ghost would. 270 00:11:02,656 --> 00:11:04,736 - Yeah, do it up; do it up. - Okay. 271 00:11:06,568 --> 00:11:07,648 Frank! 272 00:11:09,631 --> 00:11:11,445 Frank! 273 00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:14,635 Frank! 274 00:11:14,636 --> 00:11:15,585 Put some vio brato into it. 275 00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:18,786 Fr-a-a-nk! Frank! 276 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,920 Fire! Fire! Fire! 277 00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:23,804 We're gonna die! 278 00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:24,945 We're all gonna die! 279 00:11:24,946 --> 00:11:25,833 We're gonna suffocate! 280 00:11:26,427 --> 00:11:27,578 Gotta get outta here! 281 00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:30,767 Gotta get out! We're gonna die! 282 00:11:30,768 --> 00:11:32,283 Calm down, Frank. 283 00:11:32,284 --> 00:11:34,795 Calm down. There's no fire. 284 00:11:34,848 --> 00:11:35,710 Eugene? 285 00:11:35,711 --> 00:11:36,531 Yes. 286 00:11:36,532 --> 00:11:40,082 - A ghost! Ghost! Ghost! - No, no! 287 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,378 Ghost! Ghost! 288 00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:42,220 Get out! Get out! 289 00:11:42,221 --> 00:11:45,002 No, Frank, stop, stop! 290 00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:45,861 Deandra! Deandra! 291 00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:46,678 Stop it, Frank! 292 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,157 - You're supposed to listen to the guy. - No, he's dead! 293 00:11:49,158 --> 00:11:50,097 Calm down, Frank! 294 00:11:50,098 --> 00:11:53,081 Go sit on the couch and keep your mouth shut, okay? 295 00:11:53,082 --> 00:11:54,438 Just sit and listen! 296 00:11:55,628 --> 00:11:57,800 Thank you. Now, yes, you're right. 297 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,722 Your old business partner is not dead. 298 00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:03,706 But Mr. Hamilton, do you have something that you'd like to say to Frank? 299 00:12:03,865 --> 00:12:05,051 I do. 300 00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:09,197 Are you familiar with the forgiving nature of our Lord and *** 301 00:12:09,198 --> 00:12:11,445 No, no, no Eugene, at the end, okay? 302 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,693 For the love of God, at the end, okay? 303 00:12:13,694 --> 00:12:15,116 - This is the beginning. - Okay, but if you're gonna 304 00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:18,413 bring God into it, could you do, like, the Old Testament and the 305 00:12:18,414 --> 00:12:20,664 Covenant and keeping your eyes closed or your face will melt 306 00:12:20,665 --> 00:12:23,714 and the coins and the fear and the Indiana Jones? 307 00:12:23,715 --> 00:12:24,541 You know what? Sit-Sit... 308 00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:25,496 - Just sit on the couch. - Okay. 309 00:12:25,497 --> 00:12:26,870 - We'll take it from here, okay? - Thank you. Thank you. 310 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,811 Good job, buddy; good job. Okay, um, bust out the video. 311 00:12:29,812 --> 00:12:31,640 - The tape now, right? - Let's do the video. 312 00:12:31,641 --> 00:12:33,396 What the hell is this? 313 00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:35,526 Welcome to your Christmas past, Frank. 314 00:12:35,527 --> 00:12:36,727 Is this gonna take long? 315 00:12:36,728 --> 00:12:38,916 Because it's cutting into my Countach time. 316 00:12:38,917 --> 00:12:41,916 I was gonna go out and make some modifications to the car. 317 00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,649 - Modifications on the...? - Yeah. 318 00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:45,976 No, no, no, you do not make modifications on a Countach. 319 00:12:45,977 --> 00:12:47,105 That car is "pehr-fect." 320 00:12:47,106 --> 00:12:49,010 Yeah, but I can't reach the door when it goes up, 321 00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:52,029 and I was gonna put a wire rig and then drop the bag. 322 00:12:52,030 --> 00:12:54,312 You are gonna ruin that car, Frank! You're gonna ruin it! 323 00:12:54,313 --> 00:12:57,232 Okay, okay, we're gonna take you on a journey, 324 00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,605 like the Christmas Carol, and you're gonna be a better person, 325 00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:02,981 and your life will be enriched and fulfilled, and just watch the TV. 326 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:03,978 Hmm. 327 00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:07,077 Okay, Dennis, Deandra, come and get your presents. 328 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,465 - We have presents! - Oh, yes! Yes! 329 00:13:08,466 --> 00:13:11,318 Presents! Presents! Presents! 330 00:13:11,619 --> 00:13:13,748 - Christmas, 1986. - Mm-hmm. 331 00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:16,701 This is where you destroyed Christmas for us forever. 332 00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:19,533 Oh, no, no, open the biggest one first. 333 00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:20,600 That's the one. 334 00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:22,169 Look at that, yeah! 335 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,856 That's for both of you. 336 00:13:23,863 --> 00:13:24,874 Tear it apart. 337 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:25,911 Go on. 338 00:13:25,915 --> 00:13:26,771 What's in there? 339 00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:32,883 There's nothing in there. 340 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,517 Fake-out! There's nothing in any of 'em! 341 00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:39,005 Now go wake up your pillhead mother. 342 00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:40,759 Awww! 343 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,538 Aw, this is bringing back such great memories! 344 00:13:43,539 --> 00:13:45,461 The fake-out was the best, right? 345 00:13:45,462 --> 00:13:46,511 Right, Eugene? 346 00:13:46,512 --> 00:13:48,476 No! No! 347 00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:50,632 Eugene, will you please tell him what a terrible person he's been 348 00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:52,227 for always doing this to us, please? 349 00:13:52,228 --> 00:13:53,712 What are you talking about? 350 00:13:53,713 --> 00:13:56,304 Eugene was the guy who taught me the fake-out. 351 00:13:56,885 --> 00:13:57,852 He's right. 352 00:13:57,853 --> 00:14:00,227 But I have changed, my good friend. 353 00:14:00,228 --> 00:14:01,809 - Yeah, see, he's changed. - Yeah, that's the point. 354 00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:04,199 That's the point. He changed, and so, now it's time for you to change. 355 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,853 - Yeah! - They're right. 356 00:14:05,854 --> 00:14:08,603 Are you ready to find the loving arms of God? 357 00:14:08,604 --> 00:14:10,279 - God! - Where is your anger? 358 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,914 This is time to get your vengeance, guy! 359 00:14:12,915 --> 00:14:14,714 - Let's all go to church! - No! 360 00:14:14,715 --> 00:14:15,515 - No?! - Church? 361 00:14:15,516 --> 00:14:17,187 All right, let's move on to Christmas present. 362 00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:18,878 - Yeah, this... - Let's just continue the journey. 363 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:19,836 All right, grab your jacket. 364 00:14:19,837 --> 00:14:21,196 - Eugene? - All right. 365 00:14:21,197 --> 00:14:22,574 - Up, up, up, up, up. Come on. - Let's go. 366 00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:24,442 Come on, Eugene, let's go. 367 00:14:28,085 --> 00:14:29,023 Yeah, man. 368 00:14:29,024 --> 00:14:30,419 See, this is Christmas, right? 369 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:31,538 Yeah, your mom's really into this, huh? 370 00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:35,312 She loves it. Hey, Ma! Hey, Ma! Hey! 371 00:14:35,424 --> 00:14:37,779 - Oh! Hey! Merry Christmas! - I'm so excited! It's almost Christmas! 372 00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:38,862 I'm so excited! 373 00:14:38,863 --> 00:14:41,174 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! 374 00:14:41,175 --> 00:14:43,363 Ooh, you brought the vodka! 375 00:14:43,364 --> 00:14:44,933 ♪ Glug, glug, glug, glug! ♪ 376 00:14:44,934 --> 00:14:46,029 ♪ Christmastime, Christmastime! ♪ 377 00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:47,545 ♪ Drinking on Christmas! ♪ 378 00:14:47,546 --> 00:14:48,432 Thank you! 379 00:14:48,433 --> 00:14:50,402 Well, listen, you guys, you make yourselves at home. 380 00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:54,747 I'll be in the kitchen making gingerbread men for my gingerbread boys. 381 00:14:54,748 --> 00:14:58,513 - Yeah, gingerbread men! - All right, man, I'm feeling I'm back! 382 00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,218 - This is Christmas, man! - Mac is back! 383 00:15:00,219 --> 00:15:02,623 You got good tunes, good food on the way. 384 00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:05,061 My mom and I would be excited about the Santas coming over. 385 00:15:05,062 --> 00:15:06,409 - Yeah. - This is Christmas, bro! 386 00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:07,864 Yeah, the, the what? 387 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:11,418 The Santas that come over on Christmas morning to cheer my mom up. 388 00:15:11,969 --> 00:15:13,362 The Santas? Plural? 389 00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,124 - What the hell are you talking about? - Yeah. 390 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:18,418 Oh, dude, this was like the best tradition ever, man. 391 00:15:20,869 --> 00:15:21,802 Every Christmas morning... 392 00:15:22,696 --> 00:15:26,433 ...I would run to the door and I'd open it, and I'd find the first Santa Claus. 393 00:15:27,273 --> 00:15:29,553 Now, the Santa Claus would come in and he'd give me a present, 394 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,433 you know, or something, and then he'd go in the room 395 00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:33,070 with my mom and cheer her up for a while. 396 00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:38,588 Then the doorbell would ring, and the next Santa Claus 397 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:41,461 would come and he'd give me a present or something or other, 398 00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,257 and he'd go cheer my mom up for a while. 399 00:15:44,374 --> 00:15:46,663 ♪ He knows when you're awake ♪ 400 00:15:46,664 --> 00:15:49,306 ♪ He knows if you've been bad or good... ♪ 401 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,262 ♪ So be good, for goodness' sake... ♪ 402 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:55,102 I didn't always understand the presents... 403 00:15:56,103 --> 00:15:58,278 but I always found a way to have fun with them. 404 00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:02,431 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town... ♪ 405 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,696 Wait, dude, one year, Santa even brought one of his elves. 406 00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:07,526 It's like a goddamn *** 407 00:16:08,447 --> 00:16:10,570 Or I think he was an elf. 408 00:16:12,073 --> 00:16:14,621 You know, the memory was blurried for some reasons. 409 00:16:14,622 --> 00:16:16,071 Merry Christmas. 410 00:16:33,171 --> 00:16:35,012 Charlie, I... 411 00:16:35,391 --> 00:16:37,452 I hate to *** you man, but 412 00:16:37,453 --> 00:16:40,279 based on the story that you have just told me, 413 00:16:40,553 --> 00:16:43,173 I think your mother was a prostitute. 414 00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:46,014 - What? - Yeah. 415 00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:49,261 Come on, man! I'm just saying based on that story that you just told me, 416 00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:53,176 I'm fairly certain that those Santas were running a train on your mom for money. 417 00:16:53,177 --> 00:16:55,764 No, dude, they would just give my mom money, and go... 418 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,426 Yeah. 419 00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:00,193 Chew on that for a second. 420 00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:03,999 - Let that settle in. - No, no. 421 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,045 Yes. 422 00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:09,258 - No, no. - Yes. Yes. 423 00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,217 - No! - Yes. 424 00:17:11,218 --> 00:17:13,133 - No! - Okay, just relax. 425 00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:14,874 - No! - Are you okay? 426 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,382 - No. - Jesus Christ, let's get you out of here. 427 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,472 - No! - Let's get you out of here. 428 00:17:17,473 --> 00:17:20,149 - Merry Christmas, Mrs. Kelly. - No! No! 429 00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:22,847 Just relax, dude. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 430 00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:28,467 Okay, here we go. Come on in, guys. 431 00:17:28,468 --> 00:17:32,312 Why... Why would you take me to my old real estate office? 432 00:17:32,313 --> 00:17:34,359 Well, because Frank, tonight's the annual Christmas party 433 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,494 and we want to show you how much our ex-employees despise you. 434 00:17:37,495 --> 00:17:39,619 ♪♪♪ 435 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:42,886 - why is it a Christmas present to me? - It's not a Christmas present, Frank. 436 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,497 This is the Christmas present. 437 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,536 All right, Frank, here's the plan: 438 00:17:46,737 --> 00:17:48,605 We're gonna hide you somewhere in the office, 439 00:17:48,606 --> 00:17:51,274 so you can hear people talking shit about you, all right? 440 00:17:51,690 --> 00:17:52,874 Oh, that's cool. 441 00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:55,186 Oh, I see where you're going with this now. 442 00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:57,218 Sew me into the couch. 443 00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:59,267 Sew you into the couch? What are you saying? 444 00:17:59,268 --> 00:18:01,162 Yeah, that's what I do at home all the time. 445 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,278 Hide in the couch. It's a great hiding place. 446 00:18:03,279 --> 00:18:06,154 I catch Charlie pounding off all the time. 447 00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:08,343 Pounding off? Where do you get these terms, Frank? 448 00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,176 Why do you want to catch Charlie masturbating? 449 00:18:10,177 --> 00:18:11,001 No, I don't care! 450 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,934 No, let's just hide you in a closet or under a desk or something. 451 00:18:13,935 --> 00:18:16,671 Look, you want to do this Christmas Carol bullshit, you do it my way. 452 00:18:16,672 --> 00:18:18,560 Okay, fine, we'll sew you into a couch, Frank. 453 00:18:18,561 --> 00:18:20,808 Okay, right, you just rip off the back, take out the stuffing, 454 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,951 put me inside and sew it up. 455 00:18:25,653 --> 00:18:31,418 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year♪ 456 00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:32,453 Excuse me, folks. 457 00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:34,188 Hey, happy holidays, huh? 458 00:18:36,392 --> 00:18:37,292 Here we go. 459 00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,772 - How we doing over here? - Uh, not well. This is ridiculous. 460 00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:41,079 People are definitely starting to notice. 461 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,082 Of course they're starting to notice. 462 00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:44,100 There's a grown man crammed inside of a couch, 463 00:18:44,101 --> 00:18:45,673 for Christ's sakes. They're gonna notice. 464 00:18:45,674 --> 00:18:46,691 Let's just talk to some people. 465 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,815 How about... how about them right there? 466 00:18:47,816 --> 00:18:48,849 - This guy? - Can you grab that guy? 467 00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:50,158 - Hey, you two. - Hey! 468 00:18:50,159 --> 00:18:51,442 Hey, you two! 469 00:18:51,443 --> 00:18:52,846 So how we doing at the Christmas party? 470 00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,284 - We having a good time? - Yes, great. 471 00:18:54,285 --> 00:18:55,617 - Great, great. - Good, good. 472 00:18:55,618 --> 00:18:57,237 So, u Sh, Frank Reynolds... 473 00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,411 Oh, yeah, we were just talking about him. 474 00:18:59,412 --> 00:19:00,628 - He's the worst, huh? - Right? 475 00:19:00,629 --> 00:19:02,202 Do, do you work here? 476 00:19:02,362 --> 00:19:03,634 - Yeah, of course, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 477 00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:05,502 - Well, we pop around. - Yeah, we pop around here. 478 00:19:05,503 --> 00:19:07,061 - We're consultationists... - For this. 479 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,950 So we consult here. We consult across the street, too. 480 00:19:09,951 --> 00:19:12,845 - Across the whole street. - Is there a man in that couch? 481 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,550 What are you saying? A man in a couch? 482 00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:17,736 - Hello? - That's absurd! 483 00:19:17,737 --> 00:19:19,718 I believe there's a man in that couch right there. 484 00:19:19,719 --> 00:19:20,708 There is no man! 485 00:19:20,709 --> 00:19:21,591 There's no man. 486 00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:23,154 Say some things about Frank Reynolds. 487 00:19:23,155 --> 00:19:25,090 Say 'em loud, and make sure that they're horrible, horrible 488 00:19:25,091 --> 00:19:26,762 things, and then we'll deal with the man in the couch. 489 00:19:26,763 --> 00:19:28,152 So there is a man in the couch. 490 00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:30,168 All right, just call Frank Reynolds an asshole. 491 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,405 Who is Frank Reynolds? 492 00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:32,673 He's the man in the couch! 493 00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:34,591 Oh, my God, what are you people doing?! 494 00:19:34,592 --> 00:19:37,094 Will you just say something about Frank that's horrible?! 495 00:19:37,095 --> 00:19:38,096 Call him an asshole! 496 00:19:38,097 --> 00:19:39,075 Frank Reynolds is an asshole! 497 00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:40,967 - There you go! - Thank you! 498 00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:43,578 Oh, great! Now you've... 499 00:19:47,058 --> 00:19:49,400 Oh, Jesus Christ! 500 00:19:49,462 --> 00:19:50,941 Oh, no! Oh, no! 501 00:19:50,942 --> 00:19:52,193 What is happening! 502 00:19:52,194 --> 00:19:53,910 Aah! Can't breathe! 503 00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:55,189 - Too hot! - *** 504 00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:58,976 - Too hot in the couch. - Okay, she called you an asshole. 505 00:19:58,977 --> 00:20:02,856 - She called you an asshole, Frank! - No air! No air! 506 00:20:02,857 --> 00:20:04,879 Air! Air! 507 00:20:05,044 --> 00:20:06,645 Oh! Geez! 508 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,984 Synch by Benfo. www.addic7ed.com