1
00:00:01,923 --> 00:00:02,823
Hey, knock, knock.
2
00:00:02,891 --> 00:00:04,110
Oh, hi, Charlie.
3
00:00:04,230 --> 00:00:05,164
Hey, Ma.
4
00:00:05,231 --> 00:00:08,167
Listen, you're doing me a solid
offering to do this laundry, all right?
5
00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:09,001
Well, we never get to talk.
6
00:00:09,069 --> 00:00:09,836
That's why I offered.
7
00:00:09,903 --> 00:00:11,704
We don't talk, and it's good that way.
8
00:00:11,772 --> 00:00:12,538
Hello.
9
00:00:12,606 --> 00:00:13,339
Hey, Mac's here.
10
00:00:13,406 --> 00:00:14,306
He brought his laundry.
11
00:00:14,374 --> 00:00:15,341
Thanks a bundle, Mrs. Kelly.
12
00:00:15,408 --> 00:00:18,778
I got Frank's stuff, Dee's stuff, Dennis'
stuff, so you're gonna be working.
13
00:00:18,846 --> 00:00:22,281
Oh, okay, well, what I wanted to talk to you about...
Ooh, talky, talky, talky,
14
00:00:22,349 --> 00:00:23,248
talky, talky.
15
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:24,283
You know, Mom, we're busy.
16
00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:25,751
We got a whole big day planned.
17
00:00:25,819 --> 00:00:28,187
Yeah, we got to go back to
Paddy's and polish off a couple
18
00:00:28,254 --> 00:00:30,155
beers, so it's like...
Beers, you know, but hey.
19
00:00:30,223 --> 00:00:31,123
Time is of the essence.
20
00:00:31,191 --> 00:00:33,225
We'll come back when it's
folded and good and done.
21
00:00:33,293 --> 00:00:34,694
I'd like to bring it up now.
22
00:00:34,761 --> 00:00:36,228
Um, I have cancer.
23
00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:40,165
Yeah, but I got to... I'm sorry. What?
24
00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,233
I have lung cancer.
25
00:00:41,301 --> 00:00:42,668
What?
26
00:00:42,736 --> 00:00:44,169
But how?
27
00:00:44,237 --> 00:00:45,371
You don't even smoke.
28
00:00:45,438 --> 00:00:49,844
Well, you know, it's just
one of those freak things.
29
00:00:50,577 --> 00:01:01,130
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:13,122 --> 00:01:15,023
And then Psychic
John said that he could tell I
31
00:01:15,091 --> 00:01:17,259
was under a tremendous amount
of stress and that my heart was
32
00:01:17,326 --> 00:01:18,293
filled with sorrow.
33
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,595
Now how would he have known
that if he wasn't psychic?
34
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,864
I'm not giving you any
money for your dumb psychic.
35
00:01:22,932 --> 00:01:25,433
But he says I'm gonna have a
tremendous windfall of cash.
36
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:26,501
You're losing your mind.
37
00:01:26,568 --> 00:01:27,769
You're being scammed.
38
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,070
I'm losing my mind?
39
00:01:29,138 --> 00:01:33,208
How many pairs of shoes have
you lost this month, Frank?
40
00:01:33,209 --> 00:01:35,610
Three.
41
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:36,577
Hmm?
42
00:01:36,645 --> 00:01:37,913
Four. That's not the point.
43
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:41,183
The point is my mind is as sharp as a...
what do you call it?
44
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:44,886
Um, it's a... Knife?
45
00:01:44,954 --> 00:01:48,824
No, uh, what you put... What you... What you...
I just don't understand why
46
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:49,791
it's my fault.
47
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,793
It's your fault because your
mom is directly responsible.
48
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,795
Yeah, but we both decided to
move them in together, so you
49
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,763
know, you deserve half the blame.
50
00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:57,699
You want to put half the blame on me?
51
00:01:57,766 --> 00:01:59,100
Guys, my mom has lung cancer.
52
00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:01,636
Oh, God.
53
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:03,671
You know, geez.
54
00:02:03,739 --> 00:02:05,974
That's-that's terrible.
55
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,176
What the hell was that, dude?
56
00:02:08,244 --> 00:02:09,377
That didn't sound very genuine.
57
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:11,279
No. Sorry.
58
00:02:11,347 --> 00:02:12,613
What was I supposed to do?
59
00:02:12,681 --> 00:02:14,582
What are you... Are you kidding me?
60
00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:16,517
Are you screwing with me right now?
61
00:02:16,585 --> 00:02:17,352
No, I'm sorry.
62
00:02:17,419 --> 00:02:19,287
I think the cancer thing, for
whatever reason, is just not...
63
00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:21,122
You know, it's just not
grabbing me right now.
64
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:21,957
Not grabbing you?
65
00:02:22,024 --> 00:02:22,824
My mom is dying!
66
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:23,859
Okay, calm down, calm down.
67
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:26,661
Okay, because my mom has a
doctor that can cure the cancer
68
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,196
for 4,200 bucks, so no big deal.
69
00:02:28,264 --> 00:02:30,165
4,200 bucks? To cure cancer?
70
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,000
That's it?
71
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,201
No, I mean, that's a scam.
72
00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:34,402
That's what I was saying.
73
00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:35,603
Do you think it's a scam?
74
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:38,840
Come on, people take advantage of old
people and scam them all the time.
75
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:39,841
Thumbtack.
76
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:40,842
What?
77
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:41,809
Thumbtack.
78
00:02:41,878 --> 00:02:43,945
We were talking about things
that earlier that were sharp,
79
00:02:44,013 --> 00:02:45,847
and a thumbtack is sharp.
80
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,148
Thumbtack?
81
00:02:47,216 --> 00:02:47,983
Yeah.
82
00:02:48,050 --> 00:02:49,751
All right. You see what
I'm talking about?
83
00:02:49,818 --> 00:02:51,719
People get old and then their
brains turn to mush, and then
84
00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:53,521
people come along and
take advantage of them.
85
00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:55,757
Now, Frank, give me the hundred
bucks you were excited to give
86
00:02:55,824 --> 00:02:56,892
me for my psychic.
87
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:58,293
Oh, yeah.
88
00:02:58,361 --> 00:02:59,694
Sorry.
89
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:00,661
Here you go.
90
00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:01,629
Thank you.
91
00:03:01,697 --> 00:03:03,999
Yeah.
92
00:03:06,435 --> 00:03:07,568
Where the hell are we?
93
00:03:07,636 --> 00:03:10,438
I mean, your mom's totally screwing
my mom again with this doctor scam.
94
00:03:10,506 --> 00:03:11,606
No, it's not a scam, Charlie.
95
00:03:11,673 --> 00:03:14,342
She's been seeing this guy for
years, and she doesn't have cancer.
96
00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:17,345
Yeah, I got to say, though, this is a
strange place for a doctor's office.
97
00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:18,579
What's this guy's name?
98
00:03:18,647 --> 00:03:19,680
Dr. Jinx.
99
00:03:19,748 --> 00:03:21,917
Dr. Jinx is the name of
a monkey, not a man.
100
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:22,918
Come in.
101
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:24,085
He lives in a garage?
102
00:03:24,153 --> 00:03:26,187
Yeah. Guys, look, let's just
give him a shot, all right?
103
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,723
If we don't like what
we see, we reassess.
104
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,091
All right. Go.
105
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:32,727
Oh, I'm sorry.
106
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,662
Are you Dr. Jinx?
107
00:03:34,730 --> 00:03:36,197
Indeed I am.
108
00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:37,899
Have a seat.
109
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,268
Goddamn it.
110
00:03:42,471 --> 00:03:44,940
So, what are we gonna do, guys?
111
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:48,944
I'd just like to say this
is, uh, this is weird.
112
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:51,379
Now, I can understand your suspicions.
113
00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:53,714
Now, when most people think of a
doctor, they don't think of a
114
00:03:53,782 --> 00:03:56,318
black man living in a garage
surrounded by houseplants.
115
00:03:56,385 --> 00:03:57,518
I normally think Asian.
116
00:03:57,586 --> 00:04:00,388
Yeah, or I think of an Indian guy.
117
00:04:00,456 --> 00:04:01,522
Or white.
118
00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,458
Middle Eastern. Pretty much
anything other than black.
119
00:04:03,525 --> 00:04:04,459
Is that racist?
120
00:04:04,526 --> 00:04:05,427
Hell, yeah, it's racist.
121
00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:08,396
Your parents ain't let you watch The
Cosby Show when you was coming up?
122
00:04:08,464 --> 00:04:11,199
Oh, my parents would never have
let me watch something like that.
123
00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,001
Let's not make this about racism.
124
00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:15,503
Let's make this about the man
who's living in a garage
125
00:04:15,571 --> 00:04:16,571
treating my mom for cancer.
126
00:04:16,638 --> 00:04:21,109
Hey, hey, now, look, here's my deal: I
use ancient homeopathic remedies derived
127
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,243
from the Mother Earth.
128
00:04:22,311 --> 00:04:24,479
You can't get no cleaner than that.
129
00:04:24,546 --> 00:04:26,481
Homeopathic from Mother Earth, huh?
130
00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:30,618
Dr. Jinx, I have an eczema situation
that's burning me up good.
131
00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:31,652
Do you have anything for that?
132
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,620
Oh, shit.
133
00:04:32,688 --> 00:04:33,654
Well, that's not eczema.
134
00:04:33,722 --> 00:04:36,591
What you have there, my
friend, that's sailor's rot.
135
00:04:36,658 --> 00:04:37,758
Sailor's rot?
136
00:04:37,826 --> 00:04:38,860
I'm not a sailor, Dr. Jinx.
137
00:04:38,927 --> 00:04:40,962
When was the last time
you've been to Haiti?
138
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,064
Never. I've never been to...
I've been to Kensington.
139
00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:45,033
When you was in Kensington,
did you have intercourse with
140
00:04:45,101 --> 00:04:47,168
any hoes, ladies of the
nights, or prostitutes?
141
00:04:47,236 --> 00:04:50,071
No. No. I have... Don't worry about it.
142
00:04:50,139 --> 00:04:51,039
Doctor-client privilege.
143
00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:52,040
Don't worry about it.
144
00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:53,341
I got what you need, okay?
145
00:04:53,409 --> 00:04:55,010
Oh! Oh! Oh, that burns!
146
00:04:56,445 --> 00:04:57,979
Mother Earth don't play.
147
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,248
Do you have anything from the
Mother Earth that would be
148
00:05:00,316 --> 00:05:03,784
sprayed on me and cause me to
have feelings again 'cause I'm
149
00:05:03,852 --> 00:05:05,353
having trouble feeling things.
150
00:05:05,421 --> 00:05:07,522
Oh, you want feelings?
151
00:05:07,589 --> 00:05:09,557
Oh, I have something for that.
152
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:12,360
Dr. Jinx got something for feelings.
153
00:05:29,845 --> 00:05:31,913
Okay, so that was a scam, right?
154
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:32,747
Yep.
155
00:05:32,814 --> 00:05:33,848
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
156
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,816
I think he sprayed me with Miracle-Gro.
157
00:05:35,884 --> 00:05:37,519
All right, guys, my mom
has real problems.
158
00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:38,420
I need real help.
159
00:05:38,487 --> 00:05:40,155
Oh, I got it.
160
00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:44,759
I know exactly who we
need to turn to next.
161
00:05:44,826 --> 00:05:54,838
♪ Raise you up on eagles' wings
Bear you on the breath of dawn ♪
162
00:05:54,958 --> 00:06:09,350
♪ Make you to shine like the sun and
hold you in the palm of his hand. ♪
163
00:06:09,418 --> 00:06:11,519
Holy, holy, holy.
164
00:06:11,587 --> 00:06:17,492
Lord God of power and might, heaven
and earth are full of your glory.
165
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,526
This is ridiculous.
166
00:06:18,594 --> 00:06:19,494
What are we doing here?
167
00:06:19,562 --> 00:06:21,096
We're turning to the big man upstairs.
168
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,063
He's gonna make this right.
169
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,865
I can't believe you think this is
a real solution to our problem.
170
00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:26,301
Dennis, what do you think of all this?
171
00:06:26,368 --> 00:06:28,236
Shh. Amen.
172
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:29,437
I'm just trying to embrace this.
173
00:06:29,505 --> 00:06:31,839
I want to see if I can
knock some emotion loose.
174
00:06:31,907 --> 00:06:32,907
This is ridiculous.
175
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,143
Hey, hey, hey, don't
say that; now kneel.
176
00:06:35,211 --> 00:06:36,578
Why do I have to kneel?
177
00:06:36,645 --> 00:06:37,612
I don't see the point.
178
00:06:37,679 --> 00:06:38,746
Because God wants it.
179
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:41,449
Look, just do what the priest
says; don't ask why, just do.
180
00:06:41,517 --> 00:06:43,151
Look, our moms are here.
181
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:44,452
They see the value in it.
182
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:45,587
Why can't you?
183
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,222
Where's your mom going?
184
00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:49,190
Oh, she keeps a cigarette
burning out on the steps
185
00:06:49,258 --> 00:06:50,992
outside, so she's gonna go hack a butt.
186
00:06:51,059 --> 00:06:52,927
So, she just comes and
goes as she pleases?
187
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,895
There's no sort of rules for her?
188
00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:56,831
She's put her time in here, all right?
189
00:06:56,898 --> 00:06:58,633
The Lord makes an exception for her.
190
00:06:58,700 --> 00:06:59,634
Jesus Christ, man.
191
00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:02,103
Hey... stop using his
name in vain; now, stand.
192
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,070
Stand?
193
00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:05,006
Yes, and give me some
money for the baskets.
194
00:07:05,073 --> 00:07:06,007
No, I'm not giving you money.
195
00:07:06,074 --> 00:07:07,975
We have to give money...
Thank you, thank you.
196
00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:09,910
Look, maybe the church should
give us money, you know?
197
00:07:09,978 --> 00:07:10,845
They seem to have plenty of it.
198
00:07:10,912 --> 00:07:13,481
Dude, the church doesn't give
money; it takes it, all right?
199
00:07:13,549 --> 00:07:14,449
That's the way it works.
200
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,450
And then you go to heaven.
201
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,184
Now, kneel.
202
00:07:16,252 --> 00:07:17,152
Kneel? I got to kneel again?
203
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:18,153
Actually, it's over.
204
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,120
We're standing again.
205
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,087
Son of a bitch!
206
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:21,088
This is a scam, okay?
207
00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:22,056
This is a scam.
208
00:07:22,124 --> 00:07:24,759
It's kneeling, standing,
getting people all confused.
209
00:07:24,826 --> 00:07:25,993
Hey, hey, come here.
210
00:07:26,061 --> 00:07:26,994
What are you doing?
211
00:07:27,062 --> 00:07:28,095
What are you doing?
212
00:07:28,164 --> 00:07:29,063
Offering you a sign of peace.
213
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:30,031
I don't want this.
214
00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:31,399
Peace be with you.
215
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:32,733
Can I say something?
216
00:07:32,801 --> 00:07:34,235
Can I say something?
217
00:07:34,303 --> 00:07:35,270
Sorry about your mother.
218
00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:42,378
Okay, I want to talk about
someone in your life.
219
00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:43,045
Okay.
220
00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:45,013
Okay, someone close to you.
221
00:07:45,081 --> 00:07:46,014
All right.
222
00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:51,854
I'm getting a Fa... No, I'm getting a Ba...
No, I'm getting a Da... Dennis?
223
00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:52,821
Dennis!
224
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:53,789
Is it?
225
00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,924
Yes, yeah, no, I'm seeing that.
226
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:56,892
Dennis?
227
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:57,893
Yup, yup, I'm seeing Dennis.
228
00:07:57,961 --> 00:07:58,861
Okay.
229
00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:03,366
And I am feeling as if he is a neighbor...
or an enemy.
230
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:06,469
He's a coworker, friend, he's a relative...
He's my brother.
231
00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:07,436
He's your brother.
232
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:08,437
Oh, my God.
233
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:09,405
Yes.
234
00:08:09,473 --> 00:08:11,340
Is he how I'm getting
my windfall of cash?
235
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:15,010
You know, I'm not seeing clearly
yet how you get the cash.
236
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,979
I do see a lot of money in your future.
237
00:08:17,046 --> 00:08:17,946
You do?
238
00:08:18,014 --> 00:08:20,149
Yeah, but...
Oh, shit.
239
00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:24,853
I think it's gonna take a few sessions
to really get the whole picture.
240
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:25,954
Is it?
241
00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:29,292
Ha-- I was just out buying
new shoes and I remembered
242
00:08:29,359 --> 00:08:31,827
I didn't want to give
you that hundred bucks.
243
00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:34,029
Yeah, and then you called me
and you said you changed your
244
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,165
mind and you'd like to give me
another hundred, so where is it?
245
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:37,132
I did?
246
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,133
Yeah.
247
00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:39,502
Ah, shit.
248
00:08:39,569 --> 00:08:40,703
Hi. Psychic John.
249
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,438
You have an interesting aura.
250
00:08:42,506 --> 00:08:43,972
Don't start with me.
251
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,776
Who's gonna win the
Super Bowl this year?
252
00:08:46,843 --> 00:08:49,312
You don't know shit.
253
00:08:49,379 --> 00:08:52,080
Well, I do know that you lost
three pairs of shoes this month.
254
00:08:52,148 --> 00:08:54,950
You have a pork chop bone in
your left pocket; you have 57
255
00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:57,720
cents in your right, and you
clipped someone's side mirror
256
00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:00,423
while parking in a handicap spot.
257
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:01,524
Holy shit.
258
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:02,525
That's good.
259
00:09:02,592 --> 00:09:04,794
Can you conjure the dead?
260
00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:08,464
Can you get my dead whore wife
back here so I can lay into her
261
00:09:08,532 --> 00:09:09,799
from the other side?
262
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,500
Well, I can't do that.
263
00:09:11,568 --> 00:09:13,502
Nah, because you're full of shit.
264
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:17,272
I can't do it because I feel her
spirit is still very much alive.
265
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,710
What? No, well, I don't
know about that.
266
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,110
W-W-Wait a minute.
267
00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:25,881
I knew there was always something
suspicious about that whore's death.
268
00:09:25,949 --> 00:09:26,849
Really?
269
00:09:26,916 --> 00:09:28,384
Yes, we didn't ask any questions.
270
00:09:28,452 --> 00:09:29,284
We never saw the body.
271
00:09:29,353 --> 00:09:31,220
We didn't go to the funeral.
272
00:09:31,287 --> 00:09:34,189
I am feeling as if she is
still living somewhere in the
273
00:09:34,257 --> 00:09:36,659
city with a small Mexican dog.
274
00:09:37,694 --> 00:09:38,794
Does that ring a bell?
275
00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:42,665
Ooh, that dirty bitch.
276
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,468
Well, I'll tell you, guys.
277
00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:48,203
I didn't feel much in there, but I
do always enjoy the little wafers.
278
00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:51,139
Of course you do because you're
consuming the actual body of Christ.
279
00:09:51,207 --> 00:09:52,941
Uh-huh, well, he was delicious.
280
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:53,909
Wait, what?
281
00:09:53,977 --> 00:09:56,579
You're eating our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ every Sunday, that's...
282
00:09:56,646 --> 00:09:59,147
You're telling me that you
believe that Christ comes back
283
00:09:59,215 --> 00:10:01,984
to life every Sunday in the form
of a bowl of crackers, and then
284
00:10:02,051 --> 00:10:03,652
you proceed to just eat the man?
285
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,856
Correct, you consumed his corpse and you
drank his blood; that's a part of...
286
00:10:06,923 --> 00:10:07,857
Good, good, good, good.
287
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:08,824
This is what we're dealing with.
288
00:10:08,892 --> 00:10:10,092
Hey, Mom.
289
00:10:10,159 --> 00:10:11,861
Can I talk to you for a second?
290
00:10:11,928 --> 00:10:12,862
Why are you here, honestly?
291
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:14,530
I was praying for help.
292
00:10:14,598 --> 00:10:15,731
I need the money for Dr. Jinx.
293
00:10:15,799 --> 00:10:19,535
Dr. Jinx is a con artist and a lunatic.
294
00:10:19,603 --> 00:10:22,505
I-I know he's strange,
but he's a great doctor.
295
00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:23,472
He really does cure people.
296
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,473
Hey, guys, look at this.
297
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,409
My rash is almost
completely cleared up.
298
00:10:26,476 --> 00:10:27,410
Oh, my God.
299
00:10:27,477 --> 00:10:28,377
Whoa.
300
00:10:28,445 --> 00:10:29,344
Yeah, look at that.
301
00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:31,313
Whatever he sprayed on me worked.
302
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,282
He might actually be a good doctor.
303
00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:34,316
Oh, shit.
304
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,319
Hi, everybody, just a reminder
if you wouldn't mind.
305
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,155
We're asking for extra donations
for the statue of the Blessed
306
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,724
Mother that was vandalized last week.
307
00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:42,425
What the shit, man?
308
00:10:42,492 --> 00:10:43,225
Charlie.
309
00:10:43,293 --> 00:10:46,061
My mother is dying of cancer and
you need money to fix a statue?
310
00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:47,863
No, no, no, no, don't give me this act.
311
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:48,831
Charlie, calm down.
312
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,800
No, no, no, why don't you
give us some money, okay?
313
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:51,767
How much is that ring worth?
314
00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:53,736
That looks like an expensive
ring; can we have the ring?
315
00:10:53,804 --> 00:10:56,505
Okay, uh-uh, I'm sorry, Father,
I will pray for his sins.
316
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,506
I'm sorry.
317
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,273
What are you doing?
318
00:10:58,341 --> 00:10:59,241
It's okay. I got this.
319
00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,042
What am I doing?
320
00:11:00,109 --> 00:11:00,843
What is he doing?
321
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:01,844
No, listen, listen, listen.
322
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:04,279
Don't get all riled up about this
scam or that scam, you know.
323
00:11:04,347 --> 00:11:05,414
It's all a big scam, okay?
324
00:11:05,482 --> 00:11:06,415
Yeah.
325
00:11:06,483 --> 00:11:08,350
But I will say this, the church's scam?
326
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,418
It's a pretty good one.
327
00:11:09,486 --> 00:11:10,385
It's effective.
328
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:12,688
Look at all the money these
people are giving to the church.
329
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:16,492
So, I say we use that model to raise
money for your mom at Paddy's.
330
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,761
Guys, let's throw a beef and beer.
331
00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:21,296
A beef and beer-- it's been years.
332
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:22,264
Beef and beer, huh?
333
00:11:22,332 --> 00:11:24,232
Yeah, we invite the members
of this congregation down to
334
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,201
Paddy's for cheap beef
and watered-down beer.
335
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,136
We'll prey on their Catholic
guilt by playing up your mom's
336
00:11:28,204 --> 00:11:29,438
cancer and "Oh, she's dying,"
337
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:32,174
and she is, you know, and we'll
raise a bunch of money to give
338
00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:33,175
to your mom to give to Dr.
339
00:11:33,242 --> 00:11:33,809
Jinx.
340
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,310
It's the Holy Trinity:
341
00:11:35,378 --> 00:11:37,947
beef and beer and Jesus.
342
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,984
Dig, dig, dig.
343
00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:45,087
What makes you think she's got
money buried in the dog's grave?
344
00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:46,689
Well, she can't use a bank.
345
00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:49,057
She's probably got money
buried all over the city.
346
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,527
Oop, there we go.
347
00:11:51,595 --> 00:11:52,495
Yeah, dig it up, dig it up.
348
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:53,462
Come on, buddy.
349
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:54,463
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
350
00:11:54,531 --> 00:11:55,230
Oh, yeah.
351
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,832
Aah, goddamn!
352
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:57,967
Aw, there's a dead dog in there!
353
00:11:58,034 --> 00:11:59,134
Gross!
354
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:00,970
That's not a dog.
355
00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:03,806
That's my toupee, my blond toupee.
356
00:12:03,874 --> 00:12:05,307
I used to wear this in Miami.
357
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:06,308
She hated this goddamn thing.
358
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:07,275
Oh, she didn't like that?
359
00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:08,010
No.
360
00:12:08,077 --> 00:12:09,411
You are an idiot.
361
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,515
Oh, my God, there is some cash.
362
00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:13,983
That dirty whore.
363
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:15,951
There's got to be, like,
five grand in here.
364
00:12:16,019 --> 00:12:18,554
I bet she's probably got this
stuff hidden all over the city.
365
00:12:18,622 --> 00:12:20,122
I can't believe this.
366
00:12:20,189 --> 00:12:21,123
She's alive.
367
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:24,259
We better tell your brother Daryl 'cause
he's gonna want to be in the loop.
368
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,228
Dennis?
369
00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:28,063
Dennis, Dennis, goddamn it!
370
00:12:28,131 --> 00:12:29,197
Okay, shh.
371
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:30,432
Frank, you're losing it!
372
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,466
Stop it. Pipe down.
373
00:12:31,535 --> 00:12:32,434
People live here.
374
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,536
My head is turning to soup.
375
00:12:33,603 --> 00:12:34,570
Okay, I get it.
376
00:12:34,638 --> 00:12:37,606
Hey, uh-uh, Mr... Juarez.
377
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:38,841
Mr. Juarez, that's right.
378
00:12:38,909 --> 00:12:41,777
You remember the Mexican family
whose house we burned down and
379
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:42,811
we had to give them our mansion.
380
00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:46,916
Oh, how do you like the mansion?
381
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,051
Oh, it's been very, very nice.
382
00:12:49,118 --> 00:12:52,320
You know, the weddings, the
quinceañeras, but it's very expensive.
383
00:12:52,388 --> 00:12:55,658
Uh, how you call it, uh, property tax.
384
00:12:55,725 --> 00:12:56,959
It's too much.
385
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,093
Yeah.
386
00:12:58,161 --> 00:12:58,928
We had to leave.
387
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,296
Anyway, I am back here every Saturday.
388
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,330
Why?
389
00:13:02,398 --> 00:13:06,268
Oh, I have to go to work.
390
00:13:06,335 --> 00:13:07,469
Aw, shit.
391
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,437
Well, that sucks.
392
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:09,504
Tell you what.
393
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:11,574
Property taxes-- paying
for what you already own?
394
00:13:11,641 --> 00:13:13,943
Now, that's a scam.
395
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:26,220
♪ We want the funk got to have the
funk Oh, we want the funk We need it ♪
396
00:13:26,288 --> 00:13:29,357
♪ Gotta have that funk
We want the funk... ♪
397
00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:30,492
Padre!
398
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,437
So good to see you.
399
00:13:31,557 --> 00:13:32,961
So good of you to come.
400
00:13:33,028 --> 00:13:34,050
Oh... Yeah, right on, right on.
401
00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:35,362
Well, it's for a good cause, isn't it?
402
00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:37,268
So... have some beef, have some beer.
403
00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:39,371
And if you feel the calling, you
know, go ahead and pop that ring
404
00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:41,154
in the donation bucket.
405
00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:42,589
Although I know you won't.
406
00:13:43,659 --> 00:13:44,721
All right.
Have a good time.
407
00:13:44,841 --> 00:13:46,942
We're both playing the same
game, I-I totally get it.
408
00:13:47,009 --> 00:13:48,276
I get what you're doing.
409
00:13:57,308 --> 00:13:58,720
Let me see the-the neck.
410
00:13:58,840 --> 00:13:59,888
Mom, turn your head that way.
411
00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:01,733
Can we do more lesions?
412
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,749
No, dude, the lesions are fine.
413
00:14:03,817 --> 00:14:04,549
That's overkill.
414
00:14:04,617 --> 00:14:05,417
Trust me.
415
00:14:05,484 --> 00:14:08,896
I don't know why I have to wear all
this makeup, and wear a bald cap.
416
00:14:09,017 --> 00:14:10,951
Mom, you want people to
feel sorry for you, right?
417
00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:11,952
Then they give a lot of money.
418
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,887
And you just don't look that sick.
419
00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:14,688
You gotta look sicker.
420
00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:15,923
But I feel like it's lying.
421
00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:17,158
Oh, it's not lying, Mrs.
422
00:14:17,225 --> 00:14:18,992
Kelly, because you are dying of cancer.
423
00:14:19,061 --> 00:14:19,993
Yeah.
424
00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:21,995
It's devouring your insides.
425
00:14:22,064 --> 00:14:25,766
But we need for it to devour your outside,
so it plays better for our audience.
426
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:28,735
Yeah, look, Mom, it's just basic
Hollywood stuff, all right?
427
00:14:28,803 --> 00:14:29,537
Don't fight it.
428
00:14:29,604 --> 00:14:31,372
Why can't you get Frank
to give me the money?
429
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,108
Frank's not really like a
big charity kind of guy.
430
00:14:34,176 --> 00:14:35,109
He's not really gonna give it.
431
00:14:35,177 --> 00:14:36,077
Okay.
432
00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:37,945
Let's talk about the speech, okay?
433
00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:39,713
Can you go over the
speech that we gave you?
434
00:14:39,781 --> 00:14:40,614
I don't like this speech.
435
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:41,615
This speech is too graphic.
436
00:14:41,683 --> 00:14:43,750
It... it needs to be graphic
to get their attention.
437
00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:44,651
This bitch is driving me crazy.
438
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:45,486
I'm sorry.
439
00:14:45,554 --> 00:14:47,488
Look, that's the kind of stuff
that's going to grab people, you
440
00:14:47,556 --> 00:14:48,289
know what I mean?
441
00:14:48,356 --> 00:14:50,491
Like... graphic stuff, melt their...
Artemis, what are you doing?
442
00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:51,959
You can't smoke in here.
443
00:14:52,026 --> 00:14:53,060
It's not tobacco.
444
00:14:53,128 --> 00:14:55,896
I realize it's not tobacco, but it's
not going to be good for her lungs.
445
00:14:55,964 --> 00:14:57,698
She's already... I'm
used to smoke around me.
446
00:14:57,765 --> 00:14:59,500
Oh... She can recover.
447
00:14:59,568 --> 00:15:00,334
She can beat it.
448
00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:02,035
It's only going to add...
Can you go outside?!
449
00:15:02,104 --> 00:15:03,471
Whatever.
450
00:15:03,538 --> 00:15:04,771
I'm gonna go have some beef.
451
00:15:04,839 --> 00:15:07,208
Have some beef, but don't
smoke in front of the woman.
452
00:15:08,343 --> 00:15:14,482
♪ We are Dr. Jinx... ♪
453
00:15:16,651 --> 00:15:19,587
We are Dr. Jinx, and we'll
be back in a minute.
454
00:15:19,654 --> 00:15:20,221
All right.
455
00:15:20,288 --> 00:15:21,422
All right, that's good stuff.
456
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:24,691
Good stuff, hey... everybody give it
up one more time for Dr. Jinx, huh?
457
00:15:26,461 --> 00:15:27,928
Dr. Jinx.
458
00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:31,932
The man with a band
named after himself.
459
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,369
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
we all know why we're here.
460
00:15:35,437 --> 00:15:39,173
To celebrate the beautiful life
of the beautiful Bonnie Kelly.
461
00:15:39,241 --> 00:15:41,342
But I'd like to take a moment,
if-if you'll indulge me.
462
00:15:41,409 --> 00:15:45,779
I learned something very important
today, and it just dawned on me.
463
00:15:45,847 --> 00:15:47,515
I want to talk about faith.
464
00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:49,183
Right on.
465
00:15:49,251 --> 00:15:54,522
It's not about... whether
something is true, or-or based
466
00:15:54,589 --> 00:16:00,027
in fact, or reality, or the laws
of physics, or nature, or-or
467
00:16:00,094 --> 00:16:02,696
even basic common sense.
468
00:16:02,764 --> 00:16:07,801
It's about whether or not we're dumb
enough to believe in it that matters.
469
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:11,772
Oh, folks, who the hell am I
to say that there is no God?
470
00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:13,106
Who am I?
471
00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:16,243
Or to say that anybody's belief in the
church doesn't make their life better?
472
00:16:16,311 --> 00:16:17,244
Maybe it does.
473
00:16:17,312 --> 00:16:21,815
Or that this man, Dr. Jinx...
who am I to say that he can't
474
00:16:21,883 --> 00:16:24,117
cure diseases with his sorcery?
475
00:16:24,186 --> 00:16:25,786
I don't know.
476
00:16:25,853 --> 00:16:28,389
I say, maybe he can.
477
00:16:28,456 --> 00:16:30,724
And I believe that maybe he can.
478
00:16:33,094 --> 00:16:39,766
Ladies and gentlemen, if we believe...
if we just believe...
479
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:42,536
then we can do anything!
480
00:16:45,940 --> 00:16:47,541
Oh, yeah, ladies and
gentlemen, I feel it now!
481
00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:48,375
Do you feel it?
482
00:16:48,443 --> 00:16:49,677
Do you feel the spirit?
483
00:16:49,744 --> 00:16:52,846
Do you feel the invisible things
around you that don't really exist?
484
00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:54,047
Oh, it doesn't matter!
485
00:16:54,115 --> 00:16:55,782
Dr. Jinx feels it, yeah!
486
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:56,817
Woo, I feel good!
487
00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:57,784
Yeah!
488
00:16:57,852 --> 00:17:00,421
We feel magnificent, yeah!
489
00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:03,857
And we can cure cancer with plants.
490
00:17:04,426 --> 00:17:05,992
Amen.
491
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:06,893
Mm, thank you so much.
492
00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:07,961
Thank you so much.
493
00:17:08,029 --> 00:17:09,263
Oh, oh-oh-oh.
494
00:17:09,331 --> 00:17:11,232
Dennis, that was amazing, dude.
495
00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:12,266
I am so proud of you.
496
00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:13,701
You are feeling again.
497
00:17:13,768 --> 00:17:15,969
No.
498
00:17:16,037 --> 00:17:18,205
I meant none of it.
499
00:17:18,273 --> 00:17:19,172
Let's go, Mom, come on.
500
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:20,841
Just read the speech.
501
00:17:20,908 --> 00:17:21,908
I don't think I can do this.
502
00:17:21,976 --> 00:17:22,909
You-you can do it.
503
00:17:22,977 --> 00:17:23,777
You'll be great.
504
00:17:23,845 --> 00:17:26,714
My... my mom has a speech!
505
00:17:26,781 --> 00:17:31,352
"Thank you all for coming to
our Beef and Beer and Jesus.
506
00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:38,292
As you know, I'm as sick as a
three-legged dog on the streets of India.
507
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:43,096
Any minute, my lungs are going
to sizzle, pop, and disintegrate
508
00:17:43,164 --> 00:17:47,000
into a liquid lung and
organ gumbo soup."
509
00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:48,702
That was my line.
510
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:49,670
Nice.
511
00:17:49,738 --> 00:17:50,738
Mm.
512
00:17:50,805 --> 00:17:52,539
Charlie, I can't do this.
513
00:17:52,607 --> 00:17:53,440
Just get to the money part.
514
00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:55,142
All right, just get
the money part done.
515
00:17:55,209 --> 00:17:56,277
"Give me money.
516
00:17:56,344 --> 00:17:57,678
Money me.
517
00:17:57,746 --> 00:17:59,012
Money now.
518
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,948
Me a money needing a lot now."
519
00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:03,284
That was Charlie's line.
520
00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:04,318
Yeah.
521
00:18:04,386 --> 00:18:05,286
Eh.
522
00:18:05,353 --> 00:18:06,553
Charlie, I-I can't do this.
523
00:18:06,621 --> 00:18:07,554
Doing great.
524
00:18:07,622 --> 00:18:08,522
Doing great.
525
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:11,091
I have a confession to
make to all of you.
526
00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:13,126
Don't do it, bitch!
527
00:18:13,194 --> 00:18:15,128
I don't have cancer.
528
00:18:15,196 --> 00:18:16,129
What?
529
00:18:20,735 --> 00:18:24,838
We're the ones that broke
the Virgin Mary statue.
530
00:18:24,906 --> 00:18:27,508
We accidentally hit it with our car.
531
00:18:27,575 --> 00:18:32,379
Mm... We were trying to raise
money to get it fixed.
532
00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:34,014
That's just crazy.
533
00:18:34,081 --> 00:18:36,617
You could've just told me the
story about hitting the statue.
534
00:18:36,685 --> 00:18:38,619
I mean, where did you
come up with this idea?
535
00:18:38,687 --> 00:18:41,955
Well, I learned everything
by watching you.
536
00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:45,426
Well, I... Oh... Aw, shit,
I did do that, huh?
537
00:18:45,493 --> 00:18:47,528
Yeah, you totally... you
pulled that shit on us, too.
538
00:18:47,595 --> 00:18:49,196
Well... You son of a bitch.
539
00:18:49,263 --> 00:18:50,163
That's no excuse.
540
00:18:50,231 --> 00:18:52,933
Yeah, well, at least you didn't
try and grift a doctor, though.
541
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,668
No, no, I never actually
said I was a doctor.
542
00:18:54,736 --> 00:18:57,204
He is the goddamn church gardener.
543
00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:58,572
A gardener?
544
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,040
I guess that would explain this.
545
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:00,808
Oh!
546
00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,909
Oh, Jesus... I was gonna
talk to you about that.
547
00:19:02,977 --> 00:19:03,744
I'm really sorry.
548
00:19:03,812 --> 00:19:05,546
You had my back up against the
wall, I had to spray you with a
549
00:19:05,613 --> 00:19:07,797
heavy dose of pesticide.
550
00:19:08,057 --> 00:19:10,931
Put some aloe vera gel on there, a
little bit of vitamin D... What?
551
00:19:11,051 --> 00:19:11,784
He doesn't know that.
552
00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:12,652
He doesn't know that.
553
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,748
Don't get a diagnosis from him now.
Why... how would you know that?
554
00:19:14,868 --> 00:19:15,565
Goddamn it.
555
00:19:15,685 --> 00:19:17,200
Dennis. Dennis!
556
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,724
Mom's alive.
557
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,726
She faked her own death to steal
Frank's money, and we think it's
558
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:21,561
buried in her grave.
559
00:19:21,629 --> 00:19:22,928
That dirty whore.
560
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,072
Everybody get a goddamn shovel!
561
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:30,836
This is such a perfect place for
that bitch to hide my money.
562
00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:32,772
Oh, Psychic John talked about this.
563
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,475
He said I was gonna come into a
windfall of cash, and it's all in here.
564
00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:37,510
Yeah, and then we can use some
of that cash to pay for the
565
00:19:37,578 --> 00:19:40,780
statue that our moms broke, Charlie.
566
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,282
All right!
567
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,083
You guys ready?
568
00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:44,917
Crack it open, Charlie.
569
00:19:44,985 --> 00:19:47,554
Charlie, Charlie...
Show me the
570
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,589
money, show me the money...
571
00:19:49,657 --> 00:19:51,224
Ah, shit!
572
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,227
No! No!
573
00:19:54,295 --> 00:19:55,461
Mommy, Mommy!
574
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:57,063
Ah! I grifted ya!
575
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,431
What are you talking about?
576
00:19:58,499 --> 00:19:59,965
I paid off the psychic.
577
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,468
I buried the money in the dog grave.
578
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:04,637
My mommy, my
mommy's a skeleton!
579
00:20:05,953 --> 00:20:09,018
I grifted your asses good because
you said I was slipping.
580
00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:10,038
I feel too much!
581
00:20:10,106 --> 00:20:11,106
I feel too much!
582
00:20:12,275 --> 00:20:14,876
You made me dig up my dead mother
because I said you were losing it?
583
00:20:14,944 --> 00:20:17,303
Score one for the old people.
584
00:20:17,423 --> 00:20:18,222
Ha ha!
585
00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:20,562
Wait a minute.
586
00:20:21,329 --> 00:20:23,336
What the hell happened to my shoes?
587
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:34,218
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com