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[ Charlie On Tape] By now
you make a right-hand tum.
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[ Frank ] Make a right turn.
Okay, making a right.
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00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,326
You should pass three fuzzy
poles with blinking lights.
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00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,336
Those are traffic signals- Okay. Wait
a minute. I haven't gotten there yet.
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And great. You should be
making a left turn here.
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There's no left. You don't
know where I am, tape!
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This ain't working, Charlie.
This ain't working.
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- You should pass three fuzzy poles
with blinking lights- - Wait.
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Those are traffic signals-
I passed the traffic signals.
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[ Tape Rewinding ] You should
pass three fuzzy poles-
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It's stuck! Charlie, I need you here!
This tape isn't working.
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[ Man On Radio]
This is KPFN, public radio.
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[ Woman On Radio ] Today
on Do It Yourself Gardening-
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composting.
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I'm sure many of you are wondering
what composting involves.
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[Tires Screeching ]
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You should pass three fuzzy
poles with blinking lights.
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[ Tape Squeaking ] [ Grunting ]
Poles and the blinking lights!
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Make sure your compost pile
gets plenty of air.
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No w-Oh, Sandra.
You dumb bitch.
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[Tires Screeching ]
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Wha-
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Charlie, what is so hard to
understand?
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I believe that if I
inseminated the right woman,
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our seed could potentially, through
an X-Men-type genetic mutation,
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create a son capable
of bending steel.
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- Mm-mmm.
- That's completely insane.
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Do you understand
genetic mutations at all?
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You hear what you're saying? You're
talking like an insane person.
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I didn't cause any damages, Dennis.
Yes, you did.
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Not to the exterior of my car.
But to the interior of my car?
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My interior is ruined. Guys.
So I'm sitting at a red light,
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at a dead stop, and Frank
rams into me out of nowhere!
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Now he's saying he's
not gonna pay for the
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damages. Did you know
that the man cannot see?
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I can see! I got glasses.
I just need new lenses.
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The lenses are what make
the glasses work, Frank!
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If you were driving around
without the use of sight,
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then that is completely irresponsible,
and you need to pay for the damages.
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- [ Dee ] Yeah.
- None of the damages were my fault.
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It sounds like all of the
damages were your fault.
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- Frank, how are we even talking about
this? - Yeah, if you rammed into him-
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- You rammed into me.
- Dennis was eating a bowl of cereal.
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What?
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He was eating a bowl of
cereal when I hit him.
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And it spilled all over the interior, and
those are the only damages to the car.
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You were eating a...
bowl of cereal?
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Yes.
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- While you were driving?
- Yes. It's not that crazy.
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- That's not what this is about.
- Well, it's a little bit about that.
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Yeah, there's a high spill factor if y0u're
driving-Actually, it's a lot about that.
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Come on. It's, uh-[ Stammers ] I
don't have to justify myself to you!
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You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna
take you to court. Fine. Fine.
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Hold on a second. Nobody
needs to go to court here.
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There's no reason we can't settle this
ourselves, like civilized adults.
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No, we can't, Dee, so I'm gonna take him to
court, I'm gonna sue him and I'm gonna win.
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Dennis, you don't want to go
anywhere near a court.
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How many bench warrants for
sexual misconduct do you have?
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[ Exhaling ] I-l probably
have-Yeah. Yeah.
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And, Frank, how many unregistered
guns are in your car right now?
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A lot.
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Ooh, I like where you're headed
with this, Dee, and, uh, if I may,
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I think what you're proposing is that we
handle this little matter... internally.
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I'll let you take it over.
[ Chattering ]
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Okay. Uh, okay, okay,
okay, okay.
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I'd like to begin with my
opening statement, if I could.
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First off, uh, who is the
defendant in this matter?
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- That's not a statement.
- All right. Well, irregardless,
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I would like to know, as Frank's lawyer,
who I am persecuting or who I'm defending.
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Yeah. Prosecuting. Let me just nip
this whole thing in the bud right now.
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Stop treating this like it's a trial
and like this is a courtroom.
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Yeah, but the tables-Yeah.
But I was against that too.
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Okay? Let's just present
the facts to each other,
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and then let's decide as a
majority who's in the right.
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That being said, Frank
would be the defendant.
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I'm not the defendant. No,
that implies that I am guilty.
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He's right. if anyone's ever
accused of anything,
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I automatically assume they're guilty.
[ Charlie ] You do, right?
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- I do.
- I'm gonna make you the defendant.
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Then I'll make Frank the defendant,
then we'll split it up that way.
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You're defending the fact
that your car got hit by him.
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He smashed into me, so I'm prosecuting him!
[ Mac] Hey, guys! I'm finished!
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I'm finished.
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Where have you been
for the last three hours?
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I have been making this.
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- What the hell is that?
- It's the Trial Meter.
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It shows how we each feel
throughout the trial.
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Yeah, I made little gavels with our names
on it, and we can move them accordingly.
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And at the end, whoever has the
most gavels on their side wins.
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It took you three hours
to make that?
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Yeah.
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Mac, let me tell you something.
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Nobody is gonna want to use
that, because it's so stupid.
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We are dealing with a serious issue here.
You imbecile!
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Don't be an imbecile.
Okay? My property is at stake.
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What are you doing? W-Well,
don't do that. Look, okay.
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Not that we're using
this stupid thing, but
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don't start doing that,
because you're gonna-
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I like what he did there. I'm
gonna go ahead and move my guy.
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Why? Why? We haven't
presented any facts yet.
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Uh, okay.
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Well, don't everybody start moving
their gavels over to his side.
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We haven't even pre-
Okay, well, good.
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At least you have the common
sense to be on my side.
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Well, as your representative in this
matter, I didn't have much of a choice.
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My hands were tied. [
Stammers ] No, no, no.
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You're not-You're not my representative.
I will be talking for myself.
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This is an open-and-shut
case, and anybody
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who can't see that is a
savage and an idiot!
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Okay. Uh, I would like a
five with my client, please.
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Want a five, counselor?
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- I'd like to take a five.
- I'll allow it.
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Stop talking like this is
a goddamn courtroom, please.
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- Oh, I'm the judge!
- No, you're not.
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- Can I be the bailiff?
- You are not anything.
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- I'll allow it. - [ Dennis]
No one is anything.
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I'm gonna scratch everybody's
eyes out of their sockets!
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Ladies and gentlemen,
distinguished collies.
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Uh, my client, Frank, here...
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isn't really on trial
today, you know?
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Common sense is on trial.
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And, well, common sense
would tell you that...
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eating a bowl of cereal
while operating a car is-
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It's-It's reckless.
It's moronic.
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One might even call it...
donkey-brained.
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Donkey-brained?
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It means to have the
brains of a donkey...
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or a donkey-type
creature.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I
know what it means, guy.
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But if anything, it's not donkey-brained
to drive around with a bowl of cereal.
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It's donkey-brained to drive around
without the use of your vision.
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Oh. That's interesting. So you do admit
that someone who makes foolish decisions...
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could be considered
donkey-brained?
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Uh-Sure.
Yeah, okay, fine.
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I'll take it.
All right.
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Now, Frank, if I'm correct,
when you were a boy,
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you were admitted into a...
mental institution.
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- Is this correct?
- That's correct.
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But soon after, it was discovered
that I wasn't mentally disabled,
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so they let me go.
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And they let me go
with the proper paperwork,
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clearing me of everything.
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I would like to add
into evidence Article 1.
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Uh, Mac, will you please
read this document?
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Mm-hmm. “By the power of the
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania,
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Reid Mental Institution hereby decrees
Frank Reynolds to not have...
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donkey brains.”
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[ Dee, Dennis ]
What?
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That is an official document
that says “donkey brain” on it?
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what is that?
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Well, it's written
right here in plain English.
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Frank, would you like to
clear this up for everybody?
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Well, all the kids in the
neighborhood knew I got sent upstate,
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so they started calling me “Frankie Donkey
Brains,” and it was very traumatic.
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So I got my mommy to drive
me back up to the loony bin,
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where they signed
this official certificate...
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exonerating me
of all donkey brains.
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Yeah, great. what does this
have to do with anything?
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Well, Dennis,
if by your own admission,
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someone who has donkey brains
could be considered...
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reckless or moronic or idiotic,
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and my client Frank here has a
state-issued certificate...
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clearing him of having
said donkey brains,
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then I ask you this-
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Do you have
any such certificate?
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What?
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00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,006
Well, we don't want a donkey
on the road eating cereal.
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00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,004
We know Frank's not a donkey.
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00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,562
How do we know you're not
a donkey-brained man?
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Why would I have a certificate?
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You don't have a certificate?
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00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,162
N-N-No. The burden of
proof is not on me.
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The defendant will
answer the question.
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- The defendant? I'm not the defendant!
- Just answer the question.
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- No.
- No further questions.
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- Oh!
- You gotta be kidding me. Because of that?
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You don't have a certificate.
What else are we supposed to-
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- What in the... You may have
donkey brains. I don't know.
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00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,530
No one can prove that they're not
donkey-brained except for him.
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00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,364
I just-I wish you
had a certificate.
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Oh, bullshit!
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- Frank, would you like a glass of wine?
- Yeah, all right.
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00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,210
Huh? Why not have a glass of wine?
I mean, after all-
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Uh!
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00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,561
- Hey! Hey! You can't do that!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
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00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,725
Oh, whoopsie, whoopsie. See, I bashed
into Frank while he was at a dead stop.
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00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:12,681
That's completely my fault, Frank. I will
pay for all the damages to your shirt.
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00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,728
Case closed.
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00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,246
Oh. Well, when you put it
like that, you got me.
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00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,846
You know, I'm on Dennis's side now.
He just convinced me.
191
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,651
Uh, hold-hold on
one second though, Charlie.
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00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,681
It occurs to me that Frank assumed
responsibility for a potential spill...
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00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,250
the second he took the wine.
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00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,209
He's right.
I knew the risk.
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00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,001
So in this circumstance, it would
appear that Frank is at fault.
196
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,048
And therefore, in the car,
Dennis is at fault.
197
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,248
I am on Frank's side.
Case closed.
198
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,481
I pushed-I pushed him!
199
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:44,002
Boom! You nailed it. You know what? Mac just
made the most credible argument of all.
200
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,242
Hold on a second! Hold on, Charlie.
Credibility?
201
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,845
You're interested
in credibility?
202
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,844
I would like to call
my next witness-Mac.
203
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,681
So, Mac, you seem
to be pretty locked...
204
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,364
into Frank's side at this point.
205
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,444
Right? And your opinion, it carries a
lot of weight around here, doesn't it?
206
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,127
Oh, absolutely. I'm a taste maker around
here. Pretty much what I say goes.
207
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,806
And I've decided that
Frank is the winner.
208
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,665
Yeah. And, Charlie, you
find Mac's arguments
209
00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:15,006
to be fairly credible
and convincing?
210
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,560
I do. Yeah. He makes a
lot of good points.
211
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,087
He's a good judge, and-
He's an even better bailiff.
212
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,130
So if you find Mac's
arguments to be so credible,
213
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,283
why is it that you disagree on
the subject of super humans?
214
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,691
Well, we don't-
215
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,882
What? What does this have
to do with the case?
216
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,964
Well, Mac, if your character isn't
credible, then are your arguments?
217
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,648
[ Sighs ] Strike this line of
questioning from the record, please.
218
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,768
Uh, overruled.
Let her continue.
219
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,650
Mao, do you or do you not believe
that you could create...
220
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:49,089
a superhuman race of strongmen through
genetic mutation and evolution?
221
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,730
What difference does that make?
222
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,643
If you believe something
that insane,
223
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,370
then how could you be
our taste maker?
224
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,416
How could we believe anything
that you have to say?
225
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,169
I'm gonna ask you one more time.
226
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,767
Do you or do you not believe
that you can create...
227
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:06,926
a superhuman race of strongmen through
genetic mutation and evolution?
228
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,845
Uh, no. [ Chuckles ]
That's ridiculous, Dee.
229
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,844
- What are you talking about? - what
are you talking about? You were just-
230
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,976
You were just telling Charlie
this morning all about the-
231
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,480
“Have you seen X-Men?”
and “my seed” and-
232
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,616
No, I was joking with Charlie. That could
never happen in the real world, Dee.
233
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,536
- That's, like, a comic book thing.
- He's credible.
234
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,564
Yeah. He's credible. All right, we
won this case. I win this case.
235
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,696
It's an open-and-shut case. [
Dee ] Shit, Dennis, that was-
236
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,041
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
237
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,841
- Mac, why don't you believe that?
- Huh?
238
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,776
Well, I'm just wondering
why don't you believe...
239
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:46,603
that you could pass down a gene that would
eventually evolve into a race of super men?
240
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,524
- Why? - [ Scoffs ]
That's a silly question.
241
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,484
Because evolution
doesn't exist, of course.
242
00:11:51,496 --> 00:11:52,444
[ Dennis] I'm sorry?
243
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,648
Oh, could you repeat
that again for the room?
244
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,563
Because evolution is bullshit.
It's not real.
245
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,371
Goddamn it!
Recess!
246
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,888
- Now. Get in.
- What? What? What?
247
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,964
You got to sway Charlie. You got
to make yourself credible again.
248
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,491
What did I do?
249
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,166
You got to stop with this-
your insane, crazy beliefs.
250
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,288
You gotta tell them that
you believe in evolution.
251
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,249
Oh, come on, Frank.
That's ridiculous.
252
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,926
We gotta get Charlie to stop
thinking you're a lunatic.
253
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,641
Look, Deandra's gonna side with Dennis.
That's a given. You want me to win?
254
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,250
Okay, Frank, for you,
255
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,961
I will make myself credible in
Charlie's eyes again so you can win.
256
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,850
Just give me 15 minutes.
257
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,806
I'm finished, guys.
I'm finished.
258
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,089
Now this is all about making myself
credible in your eyes again,
259
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:43,290
and I'm gonna do that
by admitting that evolution...
260
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:44,930
is a lie!
261
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,490
[ Frank]
Goddamn you, Mac!
262
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,006
Yes, please do, Mac.
263
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,327
Now, as you can see,
this is the Evolution Meter.
264
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,802
And I've put God, the creator of
everything, on the right side.
265
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,121
And evolution...
on the left.
266
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,136
I went ahead and put you guys all on the
fence, 'cause of course you're gonna hear-
267
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:00,859
Actually, no.
268
00:13:00,871 --> 00:13:03,004
[ Dennis ] Let's start
where I would start.
269
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,243
[ Mac] No matter. I'm righteous.
270
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:12,123
I'm not gonna stand here, present some
egghead scientific argument based on fact.
271
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,569
I'm just a regular dude. I like to drink
beer, you know. I love my family.
272
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,210
Rock, flag and eagle.
Right, Charlie?
273
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,726
- He's got a point.
- No, he doesn't. - What?
274
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:25,124
See, Charlie? These liberals are
trying to assassinate my character.
275
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,767
And I can't change their mind. I won't
change my mind, 'cause I don't have to.
276
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,330
'Cause I'm an American.
277
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,687
I won't change my mind
on anything,
278
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,321
regardless of the facts
that are set out before me.
279
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,325
I'm dug in,
and I'll never change.
280
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,970
Mac, look.
You're wasting our time.
281
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,203
You're not gonna get us
to not believe in evolution.
282
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,044
And why is that?
283
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:51,444
Because the smartest scientists in the
entire world all agree that it's real.
284
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,522
I'm glad you brought that up,
285
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,090
because, Mr. Reynolds,
286
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,642
science is a liar sometimes.
287
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:00,720
Oh, boy.
288
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,526
This is Aristotle,
289
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,887
thought to be the smartest
man on the planet.
290
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,566
He believed that the Earth
was the center of the universe,
291
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,291
and everybody believed him,
because he was so smart.
292
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:17,321
Until another smartest guy
came around-Galileo.
293
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,925
And he disproved that theory,
294
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,367
making Aristotle and
everybody else on Earth...
295
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,966
look like a...
bitch.
296
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,731
Of course,
Galileo then thought...
297
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,087
comets were an optical illusion,
298
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,051
and there was no way that the moon
could cause the ocean's tides.
299
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,124
Everybody believed that
because he was so smart.
300
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,521
He was also wrong,
301
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,046
making him and everyone
else on Earth...
302
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,804
look like a bitch again.
303
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,651
And then, best of all, [Sighs]
304
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,449
Sir Isaac Newton gets born...
305
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,569
and blows everybody's nips
off with his big brains.
306
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,720
Course, he also thought he could turn
metal into gold and died eating mercury,
307
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,322
making him yet another
stupid... bitch!
308
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,210
- Are you seeing a pattern?
- No.
309
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,729
Mr. Reynolds, these were all the
smartest scientists on the planet.
310
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:13,488
Only problem is, they kept being wrong.
Sometimes.
311
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,804
This is insane, you fool.
312
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,282
I'm a fool because I have more faith
in the saints that wrote the Bible?
313
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,365
Yeah, because you just read the words
of a bunch of guys that you never met,
314
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:28,161
and you just take it on “faith” that
everything they wrote was true.
315
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,770
Hmm. And what
makes you think...
316
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,650
what your scientists are writing
is any more truer than my saints?
317
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:38,329
Because there are volumes of proven data.
Numbers. You know, figures.
318
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,084
There-There are
fossil records.
319
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,607
Oh, fossil records. Ah! I didn't
even think about the fossil records.
320
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,082
I guess I'll concede. Oh, wait. One
more thing before I do, Mr. Reynolds.
321
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,209
Have you seen
these fossil records?
322
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,442
Have I s-
Huh?
323
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:57,811
Have you pored through the data yourself?
The numbers? The figures?
324
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,123
- Well, no. Um-No.
- Oh. Interesting.
325
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,328
So let me get this straight, Mr.
Reynolds.
326
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:07,240
You get your information from a book
written by men you've never met.
327
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,488
And you take
their words as truth,
328
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,211
based on a willingness to
believe, a desire to accept,
329
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:17,369
a leap of- Oof, dare I
say it?- [ Scoffs ]
330
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,930
Faith?
331
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,168
Ah, come on. Come on.
Look, I mean-
332
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,607
I don't even know how I'm supposed
to respond to that. Like-
333
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,887
Ah, come on.
334
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,361
That is a-
That's a false equivalency.
335
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,205
Just answer the question,
Mr. Reynolds.
336
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,926
Sure.
Yeah, okay.
337
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,685
- I rest my case.
- Wow. Well, that got me.
338
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,256
- Frank, do you want me to-
- Put me over.
339
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,089
- Yeah, all right.
- What?
340
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,736
Well, we're going on the fence. I
mean, that's a shadow of a doubt.
341
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,530
You actually don't believe
in evolution anymore?
342
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,136
I don't know.
343
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:53,085
He created a reasonable doubt. He makes you
sound like a stupid, uh, science bitch.
344
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,640
[ Dee ] Yeah, he got you good.
Oh, my God.
345
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,336
[ Chattering ] [ Dennis ]
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What-
346
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,930
What are we even talking about?
347
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:05,203
How did we get onto evolution?
This is not about evolution.
348
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,576
Well, it became about that when
you attacked Mac's character!
349
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,170
Yeah, like they did
in the O.J. trial...
350
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,045
to that hero cop, Mark Fuhrman.
Right!
351
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,841
Okay, let's just get back on track here. I
would like to make my closing arguments.
352
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,127
No, no, no, no, no.
This has gone on long enough.
353
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,443
And by the way, Dee, why the hell do you
give a shit about any of this anyway?
354
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,448
You don't know? You can't
think of why I might like...
355
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,650
to set a precedent of responsibility
for when someone's car gets destroyed?
356
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,722
No.
357
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,885
Anybody else?
Anybody?
358
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,362
I- I can't really think of anything.
Can you think of anything?
359
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,727
- I'm blank.
- Not ringing a bell for me.
360
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:47,283
You guys have destroyed every
single car that I have ever owned!
361
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,336
And we've never had so much
as a conversation about it,
362
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,125
much less a trial-
a whole trial!
363
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,323
Are you making that up? Isn't
this-what is she talking about?
364
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,600
- Are you sure that happened?
- Oh, you sons of bitches.
365
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:02,169
Oh, you goddamn sons of bitches! I am
going to destroy everything you own!
366
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,447
- Ooh.
- You know what? I'm gonna end this.
367
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,324
I'm gonna end this!
[ Exclaims]
368
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,880
I still vote for Dennis.
369
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,411
Well, I'm still for Frank.
Yeah.
370
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,804
And I am actually
gonna go to the fence.
371
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,405
[ Dennis ]
What? God.
372
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,086
Oh, goddamn it!
We're nowhere with this.
373
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,611
All right, okay.
Guys, settle down.
374
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,856
I think if we've learned anything
today, it's that, you know,
375
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,884
we can't just take
things based on faith.
376
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,002
Only seeing is believing, right?
377
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,526
Let's take this to the streets.
378
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,807
- Thanks, guys.
- Yeah, man. No worries.
379
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,649
Have a good one. Have a nice day.
Bye-bye.
380
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,376
Okay, here's the deal. Dennis, if you
can drive to your apartment and back...
381
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,925
without spilling a single drop,
382
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,336
Dee, your precedent is set, and,
Frank, you pay for everything.
383
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,361
Fine.
Good.
384
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,880
Okay. And, Frank,
if you can drive...
385
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,936
to our place and back
without getting in an accident,
386
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,732
with me giving you
directions, you can continue
387
00:18:51,744 --> 00:18:53,416
to drive as long as I'm
in the car with you.
388
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,566
Deal!
All right.
389
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,887
On your mark. Get set.
Go! [Grunts]
390
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,004
- Did he say it was a race?
- No.
391
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,004
Why are they running? [
Chuckles ] I have no idea.
392
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:06,369
All right, steady. Steady as she goes.
I'm going straight.
393
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,084
No, beautiful stuff.
This is the best.
394
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,965
Dee, uh, please prepare
me a bowl of cereal. Yep.
395
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,607
What are you doing? We gotta see for
ourselves how reckless this is.
396
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,650
You hold it in one hand and drive
with the other. Interesting.
397
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,047
I know. Pretty mind-blowing
stuff, isn't it?
398
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,009
Then I stop at a stoplight,
399
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,482
and, once I'm stopped
and everything is safe,
400
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,045
take a bite.
401
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,242
All right. Here we go.
Make a left right there.
402
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:30,691
Make a what? Uh-huh. Go left.
403
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:31,896
Make a left. Right. Go left.
404
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,729
Right? Right or left?
No!
405
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,280
[ Dee, Charlie Shouting ] Make
up your mind! Deandra, shut up!
406
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,847
Well, dude, now that we're
alone, you can admit it.
407
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,890
I mean, I swayed you on
evolution a little bit, right?
408
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,247
[ Scoffs ]
Well-Uh-
409
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:49,126
[Tires Screeching ]
Ugh!
410
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,680
That's crazy!
That is insane!
411
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,161
- How do you hit me again?
- It was Deandra's fault!
412
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,851
What? She gave me the wrong directions.
This way, that way!
413
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,256
It was Dee's fault. I was trying to
give directions and she interrupted me.
414
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,191
What are you talking about?
I was reiterating.
415
00:20:01,203 --> 00:20:02,921
Charlie was giving
directions, and I was-
416
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,960
So this is your fault? No, wait.
This is perfect.
417
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,686
We were all here to witness it. It was
Dee's fault. She'll pay for the damages.
418
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,649
Absolutely. She should.
Don't you dare.
419
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,849
No, it was-I have an idea. Should
we have a trial? Me and Charlie?
420
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,576
That's too many trials. Too many trials.
How many trials do you want?
421
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,976
- Can't have a trial for every person.
- Let's have her pay for it...
422
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,048
and be done with this.
All right, that's it.
423
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,566
No, no! what are you-No,
because Charlie was giving the-
424
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:28,331
I was only- You sons
of- Goddamn it!
425
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,370
[ Voices Speaking Backwards]