1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,590
But Miss Covington does not
govern the lady of the house.
2
00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:05,330
If you'll have me as your husband,
3
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,600
that is what you shall be.
4
00:00:06,930 --> 00:00:08,900
- Whoa!
- What?
5
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:11,130
Oh, my God. I did not see that coming.
6
00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:12,570
Well, no... I mean, Lord Davenforth
7
00:00:12,594 --> 00:00:14,340
and Anna the scullery maid?
8
00:00:14,370 --> 00:00:16,340
I mean, that's... it's
kind of scandalous, really.
9
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:17,910
- Kind of scandalous?
- Yeah.
10
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:20,210
I usually hate this
old-time British crap.
11
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,599
- Oh, yeah.
- You know? But, like,
12
00:00:21,623 --> 00:00:22,680
this-this show is amazing.
13
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:23,910
- Yeah.
- It's good. It's...
14
00:00:23,950 --> 00:00:26,580
They actually knew that you would
love it 'cause of the algorithm.
15
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,150
The... the what?
16
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:30,020
The-the algorithm.
17
00:00:30,050 --> 00:00:31,690
Yeah, all of our
previously-watched shows,
18
00:00:31,714 --> 00:00:33,990
they go into a data bank, so
they can accurately predict
19
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,020
which shows you'll love moving forward.
20
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,490
So they knew what was gonna happen.
21
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,600
See, the algorithm, it takes thinking
22
00:00:39,630 --> 00:00:41,190
- out of the equation, basically.
- Hmm.
23
00:00:41,214 --> 00:00:43,136
Well, that's because math
and computers can think
24
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,960
better for us than we
can think for ourselves.
25
00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:46,216
Yeah... ooh, shut up, shut up.
26
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,776
I-It's decided we're
watching another one.
27
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,170
Ah, I love that it does that, too.
28
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,840
Another thing I don't
have to think about.
29
00:00:50,864 --> 00:00:52,670
You know what I mean? I-I...
30
00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:54,216
What I am thinking about,
though, is the fish and chips.
31
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,380
The fish and chips.
32
00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:57,510
- These snacks aren't cutting it.
- Where's Frank?
33
00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,696
- I want substance. Where is Frank?
- Need something hearty.
34
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,811
- He supposed to be here...
- It is weird how, when
35
00:01:00,835 --> 00:01:01,420
you watch stuff like this,
36
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:02,756
you feel like you want
to eat like the British.
37
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,340
Constantly want to eat like...
38
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:05,520
Cop! Cop!
39
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:07,190
- All right, fine.
- I'm filming this!
40
00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:09,360
- Hey, hey, hey. Calm down!
- I didn't do it...
41
00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:11,860
I came in to tell you there's
a suicidal man on the roof.
42
00:01:11,890 --> 00:01:13,060
He's threatening to jump.
43
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,030
We have nothing to do with that!
44
00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:18,700
Right. Well, the police are handling it,
45
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,070
but I need you to sit tight.
46
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,400
No one can enter or exit the building
47
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,610
until the situation is resolved.
48
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,410
- Oh...
- Okay. Thank you, ma'am.
49
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,786
- Thank you for your service.
- Yeah, we love,
50
00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:30,050
- we love the police.
- Go blue.
51
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,721
Blue-Blue Lives Matter,
Blue Lives Matter.
52
00:01:31,746 --> 00:01:33,835
Sh-Shit, man. You guys
know what this means, right?
53
00:01:33,865 --> 00:01:35,320
What?
54
00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:36,950
We're not gonna get our fish and chips.
55
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:44,720
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:02,740
Shifting gears now, we have reports
57
00:02:02,764 --> 00:02:06,310
of a developing
situation at Paddy's Pub.
58
00:02:06,350 --> 00:02:07,656
- Oh, that's us. There we are.
- Hey. All right, there we go.
59
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,400
- We're on TV. Oh, my God.
- That's our bar.
60
00:02:09,424 --> 00:02:11,990
A man by the name of Bryan O'Brien
61
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,490
is threatening to jump off the roof.
62
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,860
"Bryan O'Brien".
63
00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:17,690
I'd kill myself, too,
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00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:19,090
if I had that clown's name.
65
00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:21,500
You literally have the name of a clown.
66
00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:22,576
- That's true, you do.
- All right, you know what?
67
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,676
This is moving a little too slow for me.
68
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:24,706
Let's-let's-let's click it back
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00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,010
- over to the show, yeah?
- Yeah!
70
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,520
Uh, whoa, h-hold on a second, Dennis.
71
00:02:27,544 --> 00:02:29,740
Uh, this guy's gonna commit
suicide off of our roof.
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00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:31,170
I mean, shouldn't we do something?
73
00:02:31,210 --> 00:02:32,440
- Us?
- Us do something?
74
00:02:32,470 --> 00:02:34,271
- Why would we...?
- The cops are handling it.
75
00:02:34,295 --> 00:02:36,280
- Yeah.
- Well, yeah, but I mean, look,
76
00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:38,680
if he actually goes through
with it, that's a mortal sin.
77
00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,680
I mean, maybe God is testing us.
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00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,550
He's not gonna do anything.
This is a classic cry for help.
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00:02:43,590 --> 00:02:45,350
If the guy actually
wanted to off himself,
80
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:47,790
he'd hop into a warm bath
and he'd do the old...
81
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,060
You know? North, south.
82
00:02:50,090 --> 00:02:52,030
- Hmm?
- Hmm?
83
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,220
He'd go "down the road"
instead of "across the street".
84
00:02:54,244 --> 00:02:55,730
You know what I mean?
85
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,346
- I don't know what you mean.
- I have no idea what you mean.
86
00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:59,670
The proper way to slit
your wrist is take a knife
87
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,800
and, ideally, you go from
metacarpal straight to bicep,
88
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:03,935
connecting with the artery
89
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,080
- the entire time.
- Oh, man.
90
00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:07,910
- Oh, you've done research.
- Ugh.
91
00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:09,656
- That is the most pathetic thing, Dee.
- No, I... I-I'm not talking...
92
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,156
we're not talking about me.
We're talking about him.
93
00:03:11,180 --> 00:03:12,826
- Are we not? I think we're...
- We are now.
94
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:14,596
Okay, you know what?
The point is, I'm just saying,
95
00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:16,850
the man has no intention
of offing himself, all right?
96
00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:18,666
- This is a pathetic attention grab.
- Yeah, well,
97
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,536
it-it doesn't matter if he wants
do or he doesn't want to.
98
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,420
He's not gonna die
falling from that height.
99
00:03:22,460 --> 00:03:23,930
Whoa. Hard disagree, pal.
100
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,830
You could absolutely die if
you jump from that height.
101
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,300
What? Dude, it's like three stories.
102
00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:29,970
It's like basic science,
you know, like...
103
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,670
Uh, oh, I'm sorry. Let's
not bring science into it.
104
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,140
Okay? I mean, this is life or death.
105
00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:35,600
This is God's territory.
106
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:36,954
All right? I mean, there is no science.
107
00:03:36,978 --> 00:03:38,078
- All right.
- What do you mean...
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00:03:38,102 --> 00:03:39,386
What do you mean "there is no science"?
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00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:41,490
I mean, you were just talking
about how much you love
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00:03:41,514 --> 00:03:43,750
science and math for predicting
your television shows.
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00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:45,910
The... wh-why do you not
like it in this scenario?
112
00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:47,356
Like, uh... do you either
believe in science
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00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:48,696
or you do not believe in science?
114
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,366
I am an American! I can
believe in whatever I want...
115
00:03:50,390 --> 00:03:51,526
- I am also an American. Okay, though?
- ...in any given moment
116
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:53,226
based on what the argument
I'm trying to make.
117
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,670
- That is not an argument.
- Okay? You are not
118
00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:55,520
a true American, Charlie.
119
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,284
I'm more American than
120
00:03:56,309 --> 00:03:57,190
- you will ever be!
- You s...
121
00:03:57,230 --> 00:03:58,830
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Simmer down, guys.
122
00:03:58,854 --> 00:04:00,360
S... just simmer down, calm down.
123
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,700
All right? Dee, stop being so emotional.
124
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,600
Okay? So, guys,
125
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:07,100
I think I have a way that
we can solve this argument
126
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,770
without human emotion mucking it all up.
127
00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:12,910
What we need is an algorithm.
128
00:04:15,410 --> 00:04:17,770
Now, guys, we are living in a
data-driven world, are we not?
129
00:04:17,794 --> 00:04:19,080
Yeah!
130
00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:21,980
So this is my Behavioral
Predictor algorithm.
131
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,920
- Oh. There's words. Okay.
- Mm.
132
00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:27,960
- So, first we have: "Could he?"
- No way, uh-uh.
133
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:29,760
- Then "Would he?"
- Nah. Cry for help.
134
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:32,460
- Mm-hmm.
- And "Should we?"
135
00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:33,830
- Yes.
- Guys, please.
136
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,260
Shut the hell up!
137
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:36,930
I don't need your opinions.
138
00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:39,000
Okay? 'Cause based on
the analytical conclusions
139
00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,616
that we draw here, we're
gonna be able to come up
140
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,000
with a mathematically-accurate,
non-emotional answer
141
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,440
to all of our questions.
142
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:47,010
Okay? We just need to
think like a computer.
143
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,640
- Oh...
- Oh.
144
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,326
Like a computer does.
145
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:50,280
- I-I'm getting it now.
- Okay.
146
00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:53,480
Exactly. So why don't we start
with "Could he?" Charlie?
147
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,310
- Okay, great.
- Do the thing.
148
00:04:55,334 --> 00:04:56,650
All right. So, what we have here
149
00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:59,320
is I made a little Paddy's Pub.
150
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:00,790
- All right.
- Ah.
151
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:02,540
And-and you got the, uh, the jumper?
152
00:05:02,564 --> 00:05:03,990
Uh, I do. I do.
153
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:06,430
Uh, luckily I brought
an egg to work today.
154
00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:09,000
- Oh! Look at that guy.
- All right, so when the guys falls,
155
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,506
we'll be able to tell,
based on the breakage,
156
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:11,946
what would happen to the jumper when...
157
00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:13,650
- I think he's gonna smash.
- Y-Yeah, okay.
158
00:05:13,674 --> 00:05:15,005
- Here we go.
- So, he's up here
159
00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:16,100
and he's saying, "Oh,
160
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:18,540
- I feel so sad. Life is so..."
- Oh, yeah.
161
00:05:18,565 --> 00:05:19,340
Oh.
162
00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:20,650
Yeah, Dee, what would
you say in this situation?
163
00:05:20,674 --> 00:05:21,340
Well, I don't think
164
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,950
he's sad, I think he's happy
to get off this merry-go-round.
165
00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:26,180
Oh, my God.
166
00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:27,593
- That's so pathetic.
- I'd never... I would never...
167
00:05:27,617 --> 00:05:28,350
That you would know that.
168
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,896
- You've thought about it.
- You asked me a...
169
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,526
- You had that in the chamber.
- I'm talking about the egg.
170
00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:33,860
- Here he goes. "Goodbye, world".
- Goodbye.
171
00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:35,960
- Oh.
- Okay.
172
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:37,960
So I think he'll break a
leg, but, you know...
173
00:05:37,990 --> 00:05:38,970
- Mm-hmm.
- ...he'll be okay.
174
00:05:38,995 --> 00:05:39,390
Hmm.
175
00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:40,906
If I'm being honest, I was
hoping his entire skull
176
00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:42,406
- would just explode.
- Right.
177
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:43,706
I think we all were, Mac. We were hoping
178
00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:45,246
- for a bit of an explosion. Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
179
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:47,470
Yeah, but I think what we
learned is that there's no way
180
00:05:47,494 --> 00:05:49,340
that the jumper's gonna
die from this height.
181
00:05:49,370 --> 00:05:52,140
You know? So there's no reason
for us to do anything about it.
182
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,256
Uh, I don't know about that, b...
I think the problem is, is that,
183
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,000
you know, an egg,
i-in this particular case,
184
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,150
a-a hard-boiled egg, it's not really
185
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,580
an accurate representation
of-of the human head
186
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:01,826
- and how it would behave under a fall.
- Yeah, that's true.
187
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,080
Now, Charlie,
188
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,666
do you happen to ha... I
know you've got more eggs...
189
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:05,439
- Yeah...
- Do you happen
190
00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:06,250
to have an uncooked one?
191
00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:09,760
Ugh. No. Unfortunately,
that was the only one I found.
192
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,760
Found? What does that mean?
193
00:06:11,790 --> 00:06:13,530
Goddamn it, Dee, are you eating my egg?
194
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,930
Well, yeah. I got hungry.
195
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,760
- Oh...
- Uh, we never got our fish and chips.
196
00:06:16,784 --> 00:06:18,600
You bitch. That was the
only one in the nest.
197
00:06:18,630 --> 00:06:20,670
Nest? What? Charlie,
where did you get this egg?
198
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,940
- Where'd you get the egg?
- And why are you going around
199
00:06:22,964 --> 00:06:24,940
stealing eggs from
goddamn nests in trees?
200
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,110
Well, it wasn't in-in a
tree, it was in a hole.
201
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:28,880
- Oh, no...
- Yeah. I mean,
202
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,526
it's, like, a rat's egg or something.
203
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,826
Can we get back to the task
at hand here? All right?
204
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:32,250
Okay.
205
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,856
Dee's eaten some sort of
a rat or a reptile's egg...
206
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:34,769
...of some kind,
207
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:35,919
- or whatever it is, but...
- Yeah.
208
00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:37,026
...either way, we got to find something
209
00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:39,130
that accurately represents
the human head, all right?
210
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,441
Otherwise, we're not gonna get
the explosion that we want.
211
00:06:41,465 --> 00:06:43,730
Oh, you know what,
I might be able to get
212
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,360
Frank's secret casaba melon.
213
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:46,800
Mmm. Hmm?
214
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:52,230
Why does Frank keep a
casaba melon in the safe?
215
00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:53,940
Hmm? I don't know, but he flips out
216
00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:55,570
if I go anywhere near the thing.
217
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,210
Has he cut a hole in the rind,
218
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,370
and then put it back on, like a plug?
219
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,210
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh.
220
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,632
- Yeah, there's a little...
- You guys think he's
221
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,240
having sex with it?
222
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,756
- Well... yeah.
- He's definitely having sex with it.
223
00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:05,475
Oh, that's...
224
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:05,910
Prob-Probably is.
225
00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:07,220
- Yeah.
- Probably is.
226
00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:08,620
- Yeah.
- Hello.
227
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:10,290
Hey, guess what.
228
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,950
There's a guy stuck on
the roof of Paddy's.
229
00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:14,660
Oh, no, he's not stuck, he's a jumper.
230
00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:18,090
A jumper? You think you
could die from that height?
231
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:20,330
Uh, well, inconclusive. Yeah.
232
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,200
We'll have an answer for
you on that real soon.
233
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:24,100
Speaking of which, we
need your casaba melon.
234
00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,600
We're gonna run a smash test on it.
235
00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:27,190
Whoa, hold it. What, what, what?
236
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,600
Stay away from my stuff.
237
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,340
Don't put your hands near my casaba.
238
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:33,940
Yeah, hey, man, why do you have
a-a casaba melon in a safe?
239
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:36,310
You-you banging it?
240
00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:38,510
It's none of your goddamn
business, Dennis.
241
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:40,350
- None of your goddamn business!
- Banging it.
242
00:07:40,374 --> 00:07:41,420
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
243
00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:43,350
Damn it, I got to get in there.
244
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,450
Damn it.
245
00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:46,620
Dennis is touching my melon.
246
00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,520
No. I got to get in there.
247
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,690
Sir, move back. This
area's cordoned off.
248
00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:51,890
There's a jumper on the roof.
249
00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:54,100
You don't understand. It's my son.
250
00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:55,830
He's gonna do something really stupid.
251
00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:57,330
I got to get in there.
252
00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,600
Oh, your son?
253
00:07:58,630 --> 00:08:00,000
- Yeah.
- Come with me, sir.
254
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,240
- Okay.
- Step aside, please.
255
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:08,616
Ladies and gentlemen,
please keep a safe distance
256
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,680
- around the perimeter.
- All right, here we go.
257
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,750
Oh, okay, now, I think
this is finally gonna give us
258
00:08:12,774 --> 00:08:14,220
that explosion we've been craving.
259
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:15,690
Well, yeah. Now, if we see splatter,
260
00:08:15,714 --> 00:08:18,020
that's gonna prove that he
could die by jumping, so yeah.
261
00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:19,350
Okay, ready? Here we go. Five...
262
00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:20,860
Four, three,
263
00:08:20,890 --> 00:08:23,960
two, one, ho...
264
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:25,310
- Cricket!
- Cricket!
265
00:08:25,334 --> 00:08:27,360
- Cricket.
- Where did you come from?
266
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,300
I was up on the roof
getting eggs from a nest.
267
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,030
What the hell? Come on, man.
268
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,400
Yeah, yeah, well,
269
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,070
I checked the hole, but it was empty.
270
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,476
- Oh, I got the one in the hole.
- The hole.
271
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,316
Hey, you know that you guys
have a guy up on your roof?
272
00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:39,276
- Yeah, we know.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
273
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,240
There's a guy, there's a jumper.
274
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,810
Guys, why the hell are you wasting
275
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,580
a perfectly good casaba melon?
276
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,450
We're trying to figure
out if the guy could die
277
00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:47,820
from falling off our roof, so...
278
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,350
Oh, no way. No.
279
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,180
I've fallen off buildings
before; I never die.
280
00:08:51,204 --> 00:08:53,190
And look at me. I'm doing great.
281
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,920
Yeah, but you're not
really a trustworthy
282
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,320
control group, Cricket.
283
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,090
I mean, you know,
you're sort of subhuman
284
00:08:57,130 --> 00:08:58,260
at this point, you know.
285
00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,450
- For sure.
- I don't know how
286
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,040
to squeeze that one into the algorithm.
287
00:09:01,064 --> 00:09:03,600
Hey, I'm just going to, uh, take
the casaba and head on out.
288
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:05,870
No, you're not, Cricket.
289
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,300
- Get out of here, street rat.
- Go!
290
00:09:07,324 --> 00:09:08,500
- Get out! Go.
- Fine.
291
00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:10,610
Go get high in the
bathroom, or whatever.
292
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,110
Cricket actually just
made me realize something.
293
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,180
We already have data for this situation.
294
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:16,950
Maureen Ponderosa.
295
00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,920
Now, she died from falling
off a much shorter building.
296
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,926
- Yeah, but you pushed her.
- No, no, no, they never proved that.
297
00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:23,250
That was never proven.
298
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,280
It was never even proven
that she was pushed. Okay?
299
00:09:25,304 --> 00:09:27,020
But it was, I have to say, fortunate
300
00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,690
that she landed on her head, you know.
301
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,560
Or at least he certainly
made it look that way.
302
00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,060
- He pushed her.
- Yeah, he pushed her.
303
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,420
No, I was following your threads.
304
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,070
Come on, you guys are nuts, all right.
305
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,030
Li-Listen, the point is, it's all about
306
00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:40,570
how this guy falls, okay.
307
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,246
'Cause if he falls feet first,
he might break a couple bones,
308
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:43,370
sure, but he-he'll be fine,
309
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,940
he'll survive, you know what I mean?
310
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,740
That'd be more of a cry for help, right?
311
00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:47,786
- Wouldn't you say, Dee?
- Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
312
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:49,280
- So sad that you know that.
- Stop!
313
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:51,670
But if the guy falls head first,
now that'd be a death jump.
314
00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:53,210
Right? So the answer to the question
315
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,720
"could he die from jumping?"
316
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,880
Yeah, absolutely, if
he did a death jump.
317
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,550
Okay, you're right. It's how he falls.
318
00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:00,990
Exactly, exactly. But
the question still remains:
319
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,990
would he jump, would he do it at all?
320
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,430
And for that we need to
understand his state of mind.
321
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:09,300
And for that, we got to
go back to the algorithm.
322
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:11,430
All right, so how does
one go about figuring out
323
00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:13,630
what another human being would do?
324
00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:15,840
Right? How do you truly
get to know someone?
325
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:17,286
- Just go through their trash.
- Sleep with them.
326
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:18,840
- Oh.
- Uh, talk to their priest,
327
00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,030
then sleep with their priest.
328
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,610
Then blackmail the priest.
329
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,310
Then go back to the priest
and ask him to ask God
330
00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:26,350
to forgive you for blackmailing him.
331
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:27,950
No. No.
332
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:29,680
You just, uh...
333
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,290
We're just gonna pull up Bryan
O'Brien's social media page,
334
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,290
and we're gonna comb
through that for any
335
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,290
pertinent information on his life.
336
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,720
Okay, so from what I'm seeing here,
337
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:38,290
he looks like a pretty normal guy.
338
00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:39,290
Yeah, it looks like he likes to travel.
339
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:40,800
He was recently on a cruise.
340
00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:42,606
Lot, lot of pictures
of food. I love that.
341
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,006
- Oh, I love that.
- Oh, I love that.
342
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:45,446
- Don't you love that?
- 'Cause I know what I ate.
343
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,176
I don't know... I want
to know what you ate.
344
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,676
It's a good reminder
that food is a thing.
345
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:50,346
- Yeah, exactly. Right.
- You know what I mean?
346
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,331
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, so it looks like
347
00:10:52,356 --> 00:10:53,436
he's got a lot to live for.
348
00:10:53,465 --> 00:10:55,440
- He's eating food.
- Mm-hmm.
349
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,880
Or-or-or is he?
350
00:10:57,910 --> 00:11:00,450
Because is... is that just what
he wants you to believe?
351
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,440
You know, because we all
know that on the surface,
352
00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:04,520
social media... it's a lie.
353
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,150
All right, so let's dig
deeper, shall we?
354
00:11:06,174 --> 00:11:08,690
Now, clock the amount of baseball caps
355
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,366
this guy's wearing, and
with the tucked-in shirts,
356
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:12,270
it's a bit of a juvenile
look for a man his age,
357
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,140
wouldn't you say? I mean,
he's hardly a child,
358
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:16,360
but he's still hanging on to his youth.
359
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,130
That suggests to me that maybe
he's got some daddy issues.
360
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,970
- Mm-hmm.
- Abandonment, abuse.
361
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,410
Plus, he gave him a comical
name, like Mac's dad did.
362
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,589
His dad hates him as much
as Mac's dad hates him.
363
00:11:25,613 --> 00:11:25,970
That's so sad.
364
00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:29,080
No, my dad loves me. That...
No, my name's an homage.
365
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:31,590
- No, it's not. He really doesn't.
- My dad's name's an homage.
366
00:11:31,614 --> 00:11:33,250
It's an homage to a hamburger clown.
367
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,580
But, uh, oh, look at this,
looks like he also, uh,
368
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,750
just got back from a cruise,
alone, to mainland Alaska. Oh.
369
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,920
- Lame.
- Where he met himself an edgy woman
370
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,860
at a conference, and she introduced him
371
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:44,760
to a whole new way of life:
372
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:48,360
parasailing, Chilean wines, a tattoo
373
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,600
of Spider-Man, butt-eating...
374
00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:53,000
Butt-eating? Where are
you getting that from?
375
00:11:53,030 --> 00:11:56,940
Well... there's a certain glint
in the eye, you know, a sparkle.
376
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,270
You can see that in someone's eye?
377
00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:00,310
- Oh, Dee.
- I'm asking.
378
00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:03,770
- Have you been eating butts?
- Of course she has!
379
00:12:03,794 --> 00:12:05,450
- Nasty!
- You are too much today, Dee.
380
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,010
- I was clarifying.
- You're nasty.
381
00:12:07,050 --> 00:12:08,850
- Too much.
- I just was curious.
382
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,690
But recently the girlfriend,
she's disappeared
383
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,280
from his pictures, which tells me that,
384
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,390
uh, she probably broke up
with him, you know, because
385
00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:16,730
of all his father issues,
and 'cause he's an alcoholic,
386
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,730
and because of the copious
requests for butt-eating,
387
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,260
which, she was thinking was
more of a one-time thing,
388
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,370
and he was thinking, this is a
thing now, like, from now on.
389
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,600
You got him. Nice work, man.
390
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:28,470
- Yeah. Geez.
- That sums this guy up, I think.
391
00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:29,940
All right, guys, so in summation,
392
00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:31,850
algorithm-wise, what have
we learned here today?
393
00:12:31,874 --> 00:12:34,040
- That Dee's a nasty fucking slut.
- You are so nasty.
394
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,740
- Okay, all right.
- You nasty!
395
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,371
- Disgusting.
- Definitely, definitely,
396
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:38,710
but also that the poorly named
397
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:43,550
Bryan O'Brien most definitely
would kill himself.
398
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,349
- No-no-no...
- So has your son exhibited
399
00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:46,720
this kind of behavior before?
400
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:49,660
What? Oh, yeah, he's a
real deranged person.
401
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,590
This kid's a real whack job.
402
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,790
I'm afraid he's gonna do
something really stupid
403
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:55,960
this time. I got to get in there.
404
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,946
- I can't let you do that, sir.
- But-but, look, it might've been
405
00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,600
my fault. I mean, we had an argument...
406
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,170
I assure you we're doing all we can.
407
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,100
We're trying to talk to him now.
408
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,640
- So just stay put.
- But-but, hey...
409
00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,470
Excuse me, sir, I'm Jackie Denardo
410
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:08,280
from Channel Five News.
411
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:19,120
♪ Oh, oh, whoa. ♪
412
00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:20,520
I hear you're the father.
413
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,290
I would love to interview you.
414
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,330
Baby, I'll do anything you want.
415
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,530
My son is actually a big fan of yours.
416
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,669
- Oh.
- I mean, it would
417
00:13:29,694 --> 00:13:30,970
really get under his skin
418
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,170
if he knew I was standing next to those.
419
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,200
Uh, you. You.
420
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,720
Okay, guys, now we
are on to "Should we?"
421
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:49,050
Should we get involved
in this in any way?
422
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,050
Is it our moral obligation, as Mac says,
423
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,690
to keep this man from committing suicide
424
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,960
- and going to hell...
- What... I feel... I don't know.
425
00:13:54,990 --> 00:13:55,890
I still think we just better, like,
426
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,790
- let the cops do their jobs.
- Mm-hmm.
427
00:13:57,830 --> 00:13:59,670
Mm, I don't know. But
we've already established
428
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:01,360
that this guy could die and would jump,
429
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,870
so, I don't know, the chances
of the police getting in there
430
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,200
in time to-to stop this guy
are, uh, pretty slim.
431
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:08,040
And then we could be
known as a suicide bar,
432
00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:10,040
and that's no good.
I don't want to be that.
433
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:12,710
Yeah, kind of grim. I'd probably
take my business elsewhere.
434
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,240
You don't have business.
435
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,910
Oh! What, uh, what if you
lean into that, though?
436
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:19,350
Right? Like, you don't make it
grim, but you make it playful.
437
00:14:19,374 --> 00:14:22,680
Like, we start to name drinks
after jumpers or whatever,
438
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,690
like, uh, The Last Call.
439
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,920
The Jump Shot.
440
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,360
Lemon Drop.
441
00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:28,690
- Right.
- Oh. There you go.
442
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,530
Cosmo-fall-itan?
443
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,260
- Oh!
- Very good.
444
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,430
We could become, like,
a hot spot for jumpers.
445
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:36,436
You know? We'd put their
pictures up, all around the bar
446
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,180
- to immortalize them, you know?
- Oh, yeah.
447
00:14:38,204 --> 00:14:39,270
Turn them into martyrs.
448
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,260
That's cool. And we'd play
music. We'd play music.
449
00:14:41,284 --> 00:14:43,870
Uh, "Highway to Hell". "Free Fallin'".
450
00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:45,466
"Free Fallin'". Come on, man. That's...
451
00:14:45,490 --> 00:14:46,671
You know what we could do?
452
00:14:46,695 --> 00:14:49,180
We could lean into, like,
a-a haunted, a haunted house
453
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:51,386
- kind of bar theme, like... you know?
- Oh, well, I'm loving that.
454
00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:52,686
- Yeah, that'd get my business back.
- You don't have business,
455
00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:54,350
- Cricket.
- You don't have business, guy.
456
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:56,266
Basically, what we've concluded
is that it would actually
457
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:58,250
be good for the bar if
this guy jumps and dies.
458
00:14:58,290 --> 00:15:00,090
Yeah? So the answer to the question
459
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,560
of "should we get involved?"
is... is actually yes.
460
00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:05,360
- Huh? Why, though?
- Yeah, but-but
461
00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:07,376
if-if we stop him, that would be
bad for the bar, right, Dennis?
462
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,400
W-Well... No, that's not
what I'm saying, though.
463
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,770
More importantly, that's not
what the algorithm is saying.
464
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,200
You see, we've already
established that this guy wants
465
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,400
to die and that it would
actually benefit our bar
466
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,610
if he dies.
467
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,540
Now, of course, from an
emotional standpoint,
468
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,540
we feel as though we
should get involved,
469
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:23,540
we feel as though we
should save this guy,
470
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,250
but the algorithm is actually telling us
471
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,280
that that does not benefit anybody.
472
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,780
- Hmm.
- The algorithm is telling us,
473
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,890
mathematically, scientifically,
474
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,960
that this guy could die, wants to die,
475
00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:37,060
and that we should help him do it.
476
00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:38,630
That's just math.
477
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,100
- Oh.
- Hmm.
478
00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:42,460
Well, it still feels a little weird,
479
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:45,930
but feelings are irrelevant
in the face of facts.
480
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:47,340
- Yeah.
- Is that what I'm hearing?
481
00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:49,130
The feelings... feelings
just get in the way.
482
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,960
Now, but here's-here's
the only thing, though.
483
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,440
Like, if we were gonna
do something like this,
484
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:54,640
- like...
- Mm-hmm?
485
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,960
...you know, how would we do it?
486
00:15:55,984 --> 00:15:58,150
Like, in the right way?
487
00:15:58,180 --> 00:16:00,301
Do we need to do another
algorithm to figure this out?
488
00:16:00,325 --> 00:16:00,850
Eh.
489
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,680
- Nah, I'll push him.
- Huh?
490
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,520
What's that?
491
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:06,520
Yeah. I'll push him off the building.
492
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,360
I don't give a shit.
493
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:10,431
This is such a difficult
situation for any parent.
494
00:16:10,456 --> 00:16:10,998
Yeah.
495
00:16:11,028 --> 00:16:13,660
If you could, would you like
to say anything to your son?
496
00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:16,460
Oh, yeah. Look, you think
you can do whatever you want,
497
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,830
but what's mine is mine.
498
00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:19,470
You don't have a call.
499
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,600
If I want to bang it, I'm gonna bang it.
500
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,870
Not that I am banging it, but I could.
501
00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:26,270
And if it doesn't splatter to bits,
502
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,880
I'm gonna bang it later.
503
00:16:27,910 --> 00:16:30,550
Because it's my property.
504
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,780
And what I do with my
property is my business.
505
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,500
- You got that?
- I-I'm sorry to interrupt,
506
00:16:35,524 --> 00:16:36,780
but we have breaking news.
507
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:38,220
- Eh.
- I've gotten word
508
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:40,220
- the jumper is coming down.
- Oh.
509
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,060
I've been told he found out
his estranged father is here
510
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,066
- and he wants to come down and talk.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's call...
511
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,730
- He's calling me strange?
- Wait, wait...
512
00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:49,030
You don't know what
this sicko kid has done.
513
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,870
Okay, Cricket, uh, here's a broom.
514
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,576
You probably sneak up there,
give him a little nudge,
515
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,280
and, uh, you know,
don't let anyone see you
516
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,040
- commit the murder.
- Whoa, uh...
517
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:58,310
Guys, can-can we just
not call it a murder?
518
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:00,020
Let's try to think of
it more analytically,
519
00:17:00,044 --> 00:17:02,310
more mathematically.
It's sort of like a deletion.
520
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:03,980
You know? Like hitting
Control-Alt-Delete.
521
00:17:04,004 --> 00:17:05,310
Bloop. He's in the trash.
522
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:06,526
- Oh, that's all it is, right?
- I like that.
523
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:07,670
- That works for me.
- Uh-oh.
524
00:17:07,695 --> 00:17:08,386
Blip. He's gone.
525
00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:10,750
Breaking news right now. Uh,
there's some clarification.
526
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:13,920
The jumper did not jump. He
did not jump from the roof.
527
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,120
He is coming down the stairs.
528
00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:17,590
G... oh, dude, that's... What a gyp.
529
00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:19,760
- Yeah. Yeah.
- We were gonna... we had a good plan.
530
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:22,430
Can I say something, though?
I think this is for the best.
531
00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:24,100
Right.
532
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:24,821
- You know what I mean?
- Probably.
533
00:17:24,846 --> 00:17:25,430
That's not the algorithm...
534
00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,110
- Right.
- Like, we were going down a road
535
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:29,460
- I was not totally comfortable with.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
536
00:17:29,484 --> 00:17:31,540
You guys want to go back
to watching our show?
537
00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:32,726
- Let's get back to our show.
- Right?
538
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:33,110
The show.
539
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,556
- All right.
- Why are we watching this stuff?
540
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:35,686
- Okay. Yeah, okay.
- The guy didn't even jump.
541
00:17:35,710 --> 00:17:36,880
That's boring.
542
00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:38,710
Chet, what we are about to witness here
543
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:42,120
is a father being reunited with
his son after a harrowing day.
544
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:43,990
- Here he is now.
- Yeah. Hey...
545
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,260
This isn't my dad.
546
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:48,360
That's not Dennis.
547
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:50,860
I thought you said you were the dad.
548
00:17:50,890 --> 00:17:53,030
Not of this sad sack.
549
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,430
I'm sorry, kid. Must've been a mix-up.
550
00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:58,370
I got distracted by the
reporter's bagonzas.
551
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,740
Speaking of melons, there's a casaba
552
00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:03,070
with my name on it in there.
553
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:06,570
Dear Anna, our time apart only
makes my heart grow fonder.
554
00:18:06,610 --> 00:18:08,910
- In the dead of night...
- Oh!
555
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:10,780
Hey, you got our fish and chips?
556
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:12,210
- Ate 'em.
- Uh...
557
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,019
- You ate 'em?
- Wow.
558
00:18:13,044 --> 00:18:13,750
Hey, wait, wait.
559
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,580
- Where's my melon? Where's my casaba?
- Oh...
560
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:17,426
It's right here, man. Why do you
care so much about this thing?
561
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:18,620
- What is the deal?
- Ah...
562
00:18:18,650 --> 00:18:20,390
Yeah, what is the deal with that?
563
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:21,890
- Ugh.
- Oh.
564
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,082
- Ah...
- Oh, God.
565
00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:23,560
Ugh!
566
00:18:23,590 --> 00:18:27,300
It's where I stash my Maui Kush.
567
00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:29,630
- You hide your weed in a casaba melon?
- Yeah.
568
00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:31,430
In case the cops ransack the place,
569
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:34,640
you got to find a good,
unsuspecting spot
570
00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:36,940
to stash your drugs.
571
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:38,640
Pot's pretty much legal now.
572
00:18:38,670 --> 00:18:39,846
You don't really have
to stash it anywhere.
573
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,470
I-I don't think you
have to hide it, man.
574
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:43,140
When did that happen?
575
00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,756
- Can you move?
- You're blocking our show, man.
576
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:45,280
Yeah.
577
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:46,460
- Come on, man.
- You're blocking the show.
578
00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:47,320
I didn't know that.
579
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:48,280
What? You're still
watching that British show?
580
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,290
I mean, that's a bunch of crap.
581
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,850
- It stinks.
- Uh...
582
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,290
Uh, well, no, actually,
583
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,460
the algorithm told us that we like it.
584
00:18:55,490 --> 00:18:57,360
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. And-and, um...
585
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:58,990
- Yeah.
- I don't. You know what I mean?
586
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:01,530
Like, I can't follow what
they're saying most of the time.
587
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,176
Thank you for saying that.
I find it very boring.
588
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,170
- Okay, now, I...
- It is boring, right?
589
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,640
I hate the plot because it's absurd.
590
00:19:05,664 --> 00:19:06,630
The plot is ridiculous.
591
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:07,640
- Right? The scullery maid?
- And their teeth,
592
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,140
I find them hard to look at.
593
00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:11,370
The teeth are a little bit of
a mess, but mathematically
594
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,576
- we're supposed to like the show.
- Uh, yeah,
595
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,710
I know, but mathematically
596
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,220
we were supposed to kill a man today.
597
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:16,840
Maybe that's, like, part of the problem
598
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,680
of, like, taking the
humanity out of decisions.
599
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:21,450
Perhaps the science
just isn't there yet.
600
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,020
Hey! Where did we land on the casaba?
601
00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:26,331
I-I think you can eat it, man.
I think we're done with it.
602
00:19:26,355 --> 00:19:27,788
- Yeah, we're done.
- Yeah.
603
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:28,561
Oh!
604
00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:30,890
- Yeah, baby.
- Eh.
605
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,690
I wouldn't eat it, Cricks.
606
00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:36,400
It's full of loads.
607
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:42,524
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com