1 00:00:02,963 --> 00:00:04,999 (violin music playing) 2 00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:08,469 (indistinct chatter) 3 00:00:08,502 --> 00:00:10,638 DENNIS: Frank, would you like another buttered nipple? 4 00:00:11,438 --> 00:00:14,542 No. The cream is making me gassy. 5 00:00:14,575 --> 00:00:17,077 -Yeah, well, you have had four of them. -Yeah. 6 00:00:17,111 --> 00:00:19,013 -(both laugh) -You know, we could order you 7 00:00:19,046 --> 00:00:20,815 something that's a little bit easier on the pipes. 8 00:00:20,848 --> 00:00:22,416 -DENNIS: Yeah. -You know, I know what you're doing. 9 00:00:22,449 --> 00:00:23,951 This is your annual 10 00:00:23,984 --> 00:00:26,520 "take me out and see if you can talk me into 11 00:00:26,554 --> 00:00:27,855 giving you more of my money." 12 00:00:27,888 --> 00:00:29,790 -Oh, stop. -Uh-- Is he talking to us? 13 00:00:29,824 --> 00:00:31,792 -Give me money. (laughs) -We would never. (laughs) 14 00:00:31,826 --> 00:00:33,828 -(grunts) -DEE: And we just want you to have a fun night. 15 00:00:33,861 --> 00:00:34,829 DENNIS: Yeah. 16 00:00:34,862 --> 00:00:35,996 Oh. (laughs) 17 00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:37,865 (groans) 18 00:00:37,898 --> 00:00:40,000 -Yeah, get that. -What you working on there, bud? 19 00:00:40,034 --> 00:00:41,936 I brought my own can of anchovies 20 00:00:41,969 --> 00:00:44,405 because the fish in this place is not salty enough. 21 00:00:44,438 --> 00:00:46,540 -Mm, that's... -I agree. 22 00:00:46,574 --> 00:00:47,675 -Got no taste. -DENNIS and DEE: Yeah. 23 00:00:47,708 --> 00:00:49,410 Yeah, no, I-I hear you. 24 00:00:49,443 --> 00:00:51,011 It's, uh, it's not salty enough. 25 00:00:51,045 --> 00:00:53,647 I want to point something out here to you, Frank. 26 00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,950 I think we do a pretty good job 27 00:00:55,983 --> 00:00:57,418 of pretending like you're not an animal. 28 00:00:57,451 --> 00:00:58,686 (laughs) 29 00:00:58,719 --> 00:00:59,620 Is that thing loaded, by the way? 30 00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:00,921 Nah, it's not loaded. 31 00:01:00,955 --> 00:01:03,724 -(Dee sighs) -And get off my back, 32 00:01:03,757 --> 00:01:04,758 huh? 33 00:01:04,792 --> 00:01:06,460 -Hey. Absolutely. -Yup. 34 00:01:06,494 --> 00:01:07,661 You got it. (laughs) 35 00:01:07,695 --> 00:01:08,863 Got no intention to be 36 00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:10,598 -riding on your back, pal. -No. 37 00:01:10,631 --> 00:01:11,966 DENNIS: We like you just the way you are. 38 00:01:11,999 --> 00:01:14,001 -Mm. Mm-hmm. -And I think that, you know, 39 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:17,004 maybe, just possibly, that entitles us to a little taste 40 00:01:17,037 --> 00:01:18,806 -of your fortune after you die? -Oh. 41 00:01:18,839 --> 00:01:19,874 -You know what I mean? I-I... -Oh. 42 00:01:19,907 --> 00:01:21,475 I want to tell you something, 43 00:01:21,509 --> 00:01:23,944 I am not intending on dying anytime soon, 44 00:01:23,978 --> 00:01:25,913 so don't waste your breath. 45 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,782 -(grunts) -(sighs) -You know what? Screw this. 46 00:01:28,816 --> 00:01:30,484 -Okay. -I... Dee, I told you this was a mistake. 47 00:01:30,518 --> 00:01:31,786 -No, I know, I know. -I-- You know what? I'm out 48 00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:32,987 -of here. -Couple of vultures 49 00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,522 picking at my carcass. 50 00:01:34,555 --> 00:01:35,890 -Uh-huh. -You know, I am in the prime 51 00:01:35,923 --> 00:01:37,391 -of my life. -Yeah. 52 00:01:37,424 --> 00:01:39,460 I mean, if you think that you can... 53 00:01:39,493 --> 00:01:41,796 -(gunshot) -(Dennis and Dee scream) 54 00:01:41,829 --> 00:01:43,297 -DENNIS: You shot us! -(patrons murmuring) 55 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:44,465 You shot us! I got shot in the face! 56 00:01:44,498 --> 00:01:45,933 You said there were no bullets! 57 00:01:45,966 --> 00:01:48,836 Okay, so it was loaded. My mistake. 58 00:01:48,869 --> 00:01:50,471 Oh, don't be so dramatic. 59 00:01:50,504 --> 00:01:51,906 I just nicked you. 60 00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:54,375 It's not like anybody's in any real danger. 61 00:01:55,342 --> 00:01:57,378 ♪ ♪ 62 00:02:19,567 --> 00:02:21,368 I'm saying, don't shoot the whole balloon down, right? 63 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,803 -Like, you-you pull it down... -Frank shot us. 64 00:02:22,837 --> 00:02:24,772 He shot us in the face. We barely survived. 65 00:02:24,805 --> 00:02:26,006 Awesome. 66 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,741 -Wha... -Uh, no, not awesome. 67 00:02:27,775 --> 00:02:30,044 Oh, sorry. You came in all excited. 68 00:02:30,077 --> 00:02:31,679 I thought you were bragging. 69 00:02:31,712 --> 00:02:33,414 I was picking up on an excited energy, for sure. 70 00:02:33,447 --> 00:02:34,915 Getting shot in the face and surviving is pretty cool. 71 00:02:34,949 --> 00:02:35,916 Yeah. 72 00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:37,618 This is insane. 73 00:02:37,651 --> 00:02:38,986 Listen, we got to get his gun away from him, okay? 74 00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:40,521 I-I don't even care about the money anymore. 75 00:02:40,554 --> 00:02:41,755 Oh, yeah, no, no, neither do I. 76 00:02:41,789 --> 00:02:42,790 I don't give a shit about the money. 77 00:02:42,823 --> 00:02:44,592 I mean, the man is a maniac, 78 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:45,993 and he's gonna wind up shooting everyone in this bar. 79 00:02:46,026 --> 00:02:47,528 Oh, yeah. I do care about the money, though. 80 00:02:47,561 --> 00:02:49,663 -Yeah, no, so do I. Absolutely. -Yeah. 81 00:02:49,697 --> 00:02:50,998 -It's the only thing I care about. Are you kidding me? -Yeah. Yeah. 82 00:02:51,031 --> 00:02:52,733 Come on. You know what I'm worried about? 83 00:02:52,766 --> 00:02:54,001 I'm worried he's gonna kill himself with that gun 84 00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:55,035 before he gets old and senile enough 85 00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:56,637 to rewrite us into the will. 86 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,005 That's it. That's it. We need him to live 87 00:02:58,038 --> 00:02:59,640 long enough so he can become fully demented. 88 00:02:59,673 --> 00:03:00,641 -Mm-hmm. -CHARLIE: I know, but, guys, 89 00:03:00,674 --> 00:03:01,809 I'm picking up, like, 90 00:03:01,842 --> 00:03:03,377 a super stressed-out vibe from you, 91 00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:05,646 and it's really important to remember, like, 92 00:03:05,679 --> 00:03:08,082 you know, money isn't everything. 93 00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:10,084 Yeah, of course you don't care, Charlie, 94 00:03:10,117 --> 00:03:12,019 because your dad didn't have anything to pass down to you. 95 00:03:12,052 --> 00:03:14,989 No, that's true, but my mom does. Yeah. 96 00:03:15,022 --> 00:03:17,925 On my mom's family side, I got a huge inheritance coming my way. 97 00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:20,361 Wait, what? 98 00:03:20,394 --> 00:03:22,363 H-How did I not know this? You're gonna be rich? 99 00:03:22,396 --> 00:03:24,465 Yeah. Totally. Yeah. 100 00:03:24,498 --> 00:03:27,768 Well, uh, rich in history and legacy 101 00:03:27,802 --> 00:03:29,937 and, uh... (clear throat) ...teeth, of course. 102 00:03:29,970 --> 00:03:31,739 Teeth? 103 00:03:31,772 --> 00:03:34,375 Yeah. It's a pretty sweet deal, actually, you know. 104 00:03:34,408 --> 00:03:36,076 Everyone on my mom's side of the family, 105 00:03:36,110 --> 00:03:38,813 going back to the Niña and the-the Pinta 106 00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:40,614 and the, uh, Santa Margherita, 107 00:03:40,648 --> 00:03:43,017 um, they've all been putting their teeth into a jar 108 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,485 -when they die. -Mm-hmm. 109 00:03:44,518 --> 00:03:46,620 And, uh, when I turn 40, 110 00:03:46,654 --> 00:03:47,988 that sweet little piece 111 00:03:48,022 --> 00:03:49,590 of history's coming my way. 112 00:03:49,623 --> 00:03:50,858 Just stop. Okay, Dee, 113 00:03:50,891 --> 00:03:51,926 we need to get that gun away from Frank. 114 00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:53,627 Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. 115 00:03:53,661 --> 00:03:55,362 You don't do something like that. 116 00:03:55,396 --> 00:03:57,331 You know, because, like, Frank's gun is a big piece 117 00:03:57,364 --> 00:03:58,666 of who he is, right? 118 00:03:58,699 --> 00:04:00,334 That's his legacy. That's his history. 119 00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:02,770 That's like, that's like my jar of teeth, right? 120 00:04:02,803 --> 00:04:04,772 I don't want that taken away from me when I get old. 121 00:04:04,805 --> 00:04:06,373 What are you talking about? 122 00:04:06,407 --> 00:04:09,343 Charlie, I got some bad news for you, bud. 123 00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:10,377 What? 124 00:04:10,411 --> 00:04:12,847 You turned 40 a long time ago. 125 00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:17,351 Yo. Hey, Ma, how you doing? 126 00:04:17,384 --> 00:04:19,386 -Hi, Mom. -Oh, hi, boys. 127 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:21,055 -What brings you by? -Yeah, uh, 128 00:04:21,088 --> 00:04:23,591 hey, I want to show Mac that jar of family teeth we got. 129 00:04:23,624 --> 00:04:24,792 Oh. 130 00:04:24,825 --> 00:04:26,360 -Y-You-you do? -CHARLIE: Yeah. 131 00:04:26,393 --> 00:04:27,895 Hey, Ma, did you realize I was over 40? 132 00:04:27,928 --> 00:04:29,897 (gasps) You are? 133 00:04:29,930 --> 00:04:31,999 Yeah, turns out. Yeah, I figured you probably forgot, too, 134 00:04:32,032 --> 00:04:33,534 or something, but, um, yeah, 135 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:34,802 can I get that jar of teeth now, please? 136 00:04:34,835 --> 00:04:36,871 Oh, okay, I-I'll go look for them. 137 00:04:36,904 --> 00:04:39,039 Okay, yeah, good. Go-go get my teeth, please. 138 00:04:39,073 --> 00:04:40,374 Cool. Hey, Mom, 139 00:04:40,407 --> 00:04:41,509 since we're here, um, 140 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:42,610 do we have any kind of, like, 141 00:04:42,643 --> 00:04:43,944 family heirlooms or anything? 142 00:04:43,978 --> 00:04:45,746 No. 143 00:04:45,779 --> 00:04:47,781 (sighs) Like, anything of value 144 00:04:47,815 --> 00:04:49,650 that our family owned at some point? 145 00:04:49,683 --> 00:04:51,485 No. 146 00:04:51,519 --> 00:04:54,054 Hm. Okay, what if it's just, like, sentimental? 147 00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:55,723 Just, like, proof that we existed? 148 00:04:55,756 --> 00:04:57,758 Nope. 149 00:04:57,792 --> 00:04:59,026 Wait, what about those letters? 150 00:04:59,059 --> 00:05:00,528 Weren't there some kind of letters 151 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,462 that my grandfather wrote to my dad 152 00:05:01,495 --> 00:05:02,429 during World War II? 153 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,899 Yeah. 154 00:05:04,932 --> 00:05:06,600 Those letters exist? Well, well, who's got them? 155 00:05:06,634 --> 00:05:08,536 Donald. 156 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,938 -Donald? Donald who? -Oh... 157 00:05:10,971 --> 00:05:13,040 Duck. 158 00:05:13,073 --> 00:05:15,042 (laughs) Yeah. 159 00:05:15,075 --> 00:05:17,044 Donald... Donald Duck? What's she talking about? 160 00:05:17,077 --> 00:05:19,013 Yeah, my mom's making a joke. She's-she's really funny. 161 00:05:19,046 --> 00:05:20,881 She's got a great sense of humor. Right, Mom? 162 00:05:20,915 --> 00:05:22,883 Yeah. 163 00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:24,652 Yeah. She's talking about my Uncle Donald. 164 00:05:24,685 --> 00:05:26,620 Huh. I didn't even know you had an uncle Donald. 165 00:05:26,654 --> 00:05:28,022 Yeah, yeah, that's my dad's brother. 166 00:05:28,055 --> 00:05:29,857 Donald McDonald? 167 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:30,925 Yeah. 168 00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:32,660 Ronald McDonald. 169 00:05:32,693 --> 00:05:35,029 Donald McDonald. Wow. 170 00:05:35,062 --> 00:05:37,331 Your dad really scored with the name Luther, I guess, huh? 171 00:05:37,364 --> 00:05:38,399 (Bonnie screams) 172 00:05:38,432 --> 00:05:40,634 Mom? What happened? 173 00:05:40,668 --> 00:05:42,336 -MAC: Oh, shit. -(muffled whimper) 174 00:05:42,369 --> 00:05:43,737 Did she try to pull out her own teeth? 175 00:05:43,771 --> 00:05:44,939 Did you just try to pull out your own teeth? 176 00:05:44,972 --> 00:05:47,007 -Mm-mm. -She clearly did. 177 00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:48,742 -I can see the pliers. -We can see the pliers, Mom. 178 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,779 -Ah! Ugh! -Oh! 179 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:54,381 -I'm so sorry. -CHARLIE: Mom. 180 00:05:54,415 --> 00:05:56,750 Oh, my God. Why did you do that? 181 00:05:56,784 --> 00:05:59,320 I didn't have the heart to-to tell you, 182 00:05:59,353 --> 00:06:02,389 I gave away the jar. (crying) 183 00:06:02,423 --> 00:06:04,625 You gave away the jar of teeth? To who? 184 00:06:04,658 --> 00:06:05,926 Your sisters. 185 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,728 To my sisters? 186 00:06:07,761 --> 00:06:10,030 Those ungrateful bitches. What the hell, Mom? 187 00:06:10,064 --> 00:06:11,732 They don't even live in Philly anymore. 188 00:06:11,765 --> 00:06:12,933 They moved all the way up to northern New Jersey. 189 00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:14,802 They're terrible to you. 190 00:06:14,835 --> 00:06:16,403 I'm the one who stayed. I'm the one who takes care of you. 191 00:06:16,437 --> 00:06:17,638 How could you do that? 192 00:06:17,671 --> 00:06:19,006 (screaming) 193 00:06:19,039 --> 00:06:21,342 -Now she's screaming. -This is crazy. 194 00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:22,943 Now she's screaming. Now she's screaming. 195 00:06:22,977 --> 00:06:24,612 -Well, you yelled at her. -Now Mom's screaming. 196 00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,013 Now Mom's screaming. 197 00:06:26,046 --> 00:06:28,482 Ah, I can't believe you did this. 198 00:06:28,516 --> 00:06:30,518 -Why are you yelling at her? I don't know... -She gave it away to my sisters. 199 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:31,919 They're the worst people on the planet. 200 00:06:31,952 --> 00:06:32,920 I didn't even remember that you had sisters. 201 00:06:32,953 --> 00:06:34,622 All right. Okay, okay. 202 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,390 Look, we're just gonna have to go and get them. 203 00:06:36,423 --> 00:06:37,925 I think she's having a stroke, dude. 204 00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:39,860 We're just gonna have to get in the car right now 205 00:06:39,894 --> 00:06:41,028 -and go get them. Come on, man. -We should go to the hospital. 206 00:06:41,061 --> 00:06:42,730 Let's get in the car. Let's go. 207 00:06:42,763 --> 00:06:44,465 Mrs. Mac, we're taking your car. Mom, just calm down. 208 00:06:44,498 --> 00:06:46,467 It's okay, okay? I'm not mad at you. It's fine, okay? 209 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,068 -I love you. -Breathe through your, breathe through your nose. 210 00:06:48,102 --> 00:06:49,670 -I love you, too. I love you, too. -This is fucking insane. 211 00:06:49,703 --> 00:06:51,505 I made a mistake. 212 00:06:51,539 --> 00:06:53,674 You did make a mistake. You did make this... All right. 213 00:06:53,707 --> 00:06:55,342 Christ, let's get her cleaned up. All right. 214 00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:56,343 I didn't mean to upset you. 215 00:06:56,377 --> 00:06:58,312 (Frank grunting) 216 00:06:59,547 --> 00:07:01,081 Frank, um, 217 00:07:01,115 --> 00:07:02,750 could you stop scratching yourself with the gun, please? 218 00:07:02,783 --> 00:07:04,452 -I'm itchy, I'm itchy. -I-I bet. 219 00:07:04,485 --> 00:07:05,753 Probably from rolling around in the grass 220 00:07:05,786 --> 00:07:06,987 outside of your apartment. 221 00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:08,589 No, I was rolling around in the grass 222 00:07:08,622 --> 00:07:09,723 because I was itchy. 223 00:07:09,757 --> 00:07:10,991 The itch came first. 224 00:07:11,025 --> 00:07:12,660 Okay, well, why don't you hand me the gun, 225 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:13,727 -and I'll scratch you with my fingers. -Yeah. 226 00:07:13,761 --> 00:07:15,396 I'm not gonna hand you my gun, 227 00:07:15,429 --> 00:07:16,597 but I'll let you scratch. You want to scratch me? 228 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:19,066 -Go on. (grunts) Yeah. -Okay. 229 00:07:19,099 --> 00:07:20,768 -All right. -Scratch me. See. 230 00:07:20,801 --> 00:07:22,870 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it down by the neck. 231 00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:24,672 -Frank, I... -FRANK: The back of the neck. The back of the neck. 232 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:25,606 -Okay, but I just don't want to get shot again, is all. 233 00:07:25,639 --> 00:07:27,007 The gun's not loaded. 234 00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:28,609 Yeah, that's what you said last time, Frank. 235 00:07:28,642 --> 00:07:30,511 FRANK: (grunts) I got to take a piss. 236 00:07:30,544 --> 00:07:31,846 -Pull over. -DENNIS: All right. 237 00:07:36,417 --> 00:07:38,352 (grunting) 238 00:07:38,385 --> 00:07:39,453 Okay. 239 00:07:39,487 --> 00:07:40,988 -(grunting) -Goddamn it. 240 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:42,590 This is not working. 241 00:07:42,623 --> 00:07:44,024 Should we just attack him and take it? 242 00:07:44,058 --> 00:07:45,993 What? No. 243 00:07:46,026 --> 00:07:47,761 He'd mow us down like Scarface. We can't come at him like that. 244 00:07:47,795 --> 00:07:49,864 -We'll spook him. -Yeah. 245 00:07:49,897 --> 00:07:51,398 You know what? He needs to be lulled 246 00:07:51,432 --> 00:07:52,933 into a false sense of security. 247 00:07:52,967 --> 00:07:54,768 You don't tell a dog you're taking him to a vet 248 00:07:54,802 --> 00:07:55,870 to put him down. 249 00:07:55,903 --> 00:07:57,438 Right. 250 00:07:58,205 --> 00:08:01,075 You give that dog the best day of his life, 251 00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:03,777 and then you turn out the lights when he least suspects it. 252 00:08:03,811 --> 00:08:05,946 -(laughs) -Okay. 253 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,548 Okay. Oh... 254 00:08:07,581 --> 00:08:09,617 Ooh. 255 00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,986 Ooh, that was a long wait. 256 00:08:12,019 --> 00:08:13,954 -Woo. -Wow. 257 00:08:19,794 --> 00:08:21,328 ♪ Just can't wait... ♪ 258 00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:22,863 Why is your mom driving my mom's car? 259 00:08:22,897 --> 00:08:24,465 I don't know. Dude, they got some weird arrangement 260 00:08:24,498 --> 00:08:26,734 worked out so your mom can focus on smoking. 261 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,636 Speaking of, I'm getting choked to death back here. 262 00:08:28,669 --> 00:08:30,771 Mrs. Mac, do you mind, like, cracking a window or something? 263 00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:32,506 No. 264 00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,375 Why not? I mean, it's ridiculous to just sit in the smoke. 265 00:08:34,408 --> 00:08:37,912 'Cause it's too drafty. It's unhealthy. 266 00:08:37,945 --> 00:08:39,613 -Right. -Unheal-- What? 267 00:08:39,647 --> 00:08:41,382 Sorry, my mom's on a new health kick. (laughs) 268 00:08:41,415 --> 00:08:43,350 Hey, Mom, it's working. You look great. 269 00:08:43,384 --> 00:08:44,852 Shut up. 270 00:08:44,885 --> 00:08:46,654 CHARLIE: Can we, like speed up or something? 271 00:08:46,687 --> 00:08:48,722 Another car just passed us. Mom, that's, like, the 50th car. 272 00:08:48,756 --> 00:08:50,024 Why are you going so slow? 273 00:08:50,057 --> 00:08:51,859 Well, highways are scary. 274 00:08:51,892 --> 00:08:53,594 You're going 35. 275 00:08:53,627 --> 00:08:54,628 -I can see you're going 35. -But-- And everybody's 276 00:08:54,662 --> 00:08:55,763 just in such a hurry. 277 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,465 No, it's just the normal-- 278 00:08:57,498 --> 00:08:59,033 It's the speed that people go on the highway. 279 00:08:59,066 --> 00:09:00,601 Okay, maybe I should drive. Mom, can I drive your car? 280 00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:01,936 -Can Mac drive? -No. 281 00:09:01,969 --> 00:09:04,605 Ugh, this is my worst nightmare, man. 282 00:09:04,638 --> 00:09:06,373 This is absolutely terrible. How much further? 283 00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:07,875 Anyone know? Mac? 284 00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:09,910 How much further? Mac? 285 00:09:09,944 --> 00:09:11,779 Mac? Hello? 286 00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:15,082 (whispering): My mom's finger is up, which means "no talking". 287 00:09:15,115 --> 00:09:16,784 She's annoyed. It's best if we 288 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:18,986 just keep it down until the finger goes down, 289 00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:21,489 otherwise, she might burn us with the cigarette lighter. 290 00:09:21,522 --> 00:09:23,657 (whispers): This is my worst nightmare 291 00:09:23,691 --> 00:09:24,959 in my entire life. 292 00:09:25,893 --> 00:09:27,995 (normal volume): Okay, finger's down. Um, great. 293 00:09:28,028 --> 00:09:29,864 Uh, okay, Mrs. Kelly, you're gonna want to stay 294 00:09:29,897 --> 00:09:32,366 on the Jersey Turnpike until you hit 287. 295 00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:34,502 You want to take 287 towards Hamburg. 296 00:09:34,535 --> 00:09:36,504 Mm, no. That-- No, you just stay on the 206 297 00:09:36,537 --> 00:09:37,505 the whole way up. 298 00:09:37,538 --> 00:09:38,806 No, no, we're gonna, 299 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:39,907 we're gonna hit Hamburg on the way. 300 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:41,041 Why are we going to Hamburg? 301 00:09:41,075 --> 00:09:42,743 We're gonna visit my Uncle Donald. 302 00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:45,546 -Donald McDonald of Hamburger, New Jersey? -Hamburg. 303 00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:47,515 A bunch of old letters that weren't even written to you? 304 00:09:47,548 --> 00:09:49,049 That's not a legacy, it's a bunch of meaningless shit. 305 00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:52,052 Not as meaningless as a jar full of teeth. (screams) 306 00:09:52,086 --> 00:09:53,521 -CHARLIE: Ah! She got you. She got you. -Sorry, Mom, sorry, Mom. 307 00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:54,922 Sorry, Mom. I didn't see the finger. 308 00:09:54,955 --> 00:09:56,791 No, her hand was not in the air that time. 309 00:09:56,824 --> 00:09:58,359 -She burnt the shit out of me. -You didn't even put your hand-- 310 00:09:58,392 --> 00:10:00,394 -Oh, it's up now, it's up now. -Yeah. 311 00:10:00,427 --> 00:10:02,463 DENNIS: Frank, we got a little surprise for you, bud. 312 00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:03,764 What's that? 313 00:10:03,798 --> 00:10:05,633 Hamburgers. 314 00:10:05,666 --> 00:10:07,635 -Oh, hamburgers? -(laughs) 315 00:10:07,668 --> 00:10:09,603 Oh, that's one of the best food there is. 316 00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:11,772 Yeah, yes, they really are. 317 00:10:11,806 --> 00:10:13,874 And, you know what, you can eat them right here in the car. 318 00:10:13,908 --> 00:10:16,610 You know, once in a while, they give me the runs. 319 00:10:16,644 --> 00:10:18,913 Yeah, that's why we put that towel down for you, buddy. 320 00:10:18,946 --> 00:10:21,081 Mmm. Mmm! 321 00:10:21,115 --> 00:10:22,917 -(smacking lips) -Okay. All right. 322 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,318 -Mmm. -You want to take it easy? 323 00:10:24,351 --> 00:10:25,653 Goddamn. Just one bite at a time, 324 00:10:25,686 --> 00:10:26,887 or you're gonna barf everywhere. 325 00:10:26,921 --> 00:10:29,023 -Mmm. -Yeah, it's good, huh? 326 00:10:29,056 --> 00:10:30,991 Yeah, really hammering them down there, huh, bud? 327 00:10:31,025 --> 00:10:32,326 Very good. Mmm. 328 00:10:34,395 --> 00:10:36,530 Oh! (laughs) 329 00:10:36,564 --> 00:10:37,998 I almost ate my gun. 330 00:10:38,032 --> 00:10:39,033 (laughing) 331 00:10:39,066 --> 00:10:40,067 I dipped it in the ketchup. 332 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,335 Thought it was a french fry. 333 00:10:41,368 --> 00:10:42,336 Yeah, that is funny. (laughs) 334 00:10:42,369 --> 00:10:43,337 Wow. 335 00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:44,472 Hey, you know what? 336 00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:45,473 I'm-I'm gonna pull over, Frank. 337 00:10:45,506 --> 00:10:47,508 I got to take a piss anyway. 338 00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:48,976 Again. Okay. 339 00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:53,514 -DENNIS: Well, Frank... -FRANK: What? 340 00:10:53,547 --> 00:10:54,648 DENNIS: Look where we are. 341 00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:56,050 We're at the bridge. 342 00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,352 Oh, I haven't been here in forever. 343 00:10:58,385 --> 00:10:59,987 -Go check it out-- Oh! -Oh! -Oh. 344 00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:02,590 -Ooh. -Did-did you just slam your head into the window? 345 00:11:02,623 --> 00:11:04,592 Yeah, I didn't realize it was up. 346 00:11:04,625 --> 00:11:06,460 Well, were you gonna dive out of it? 347 00:11:06,494 --> 00:11:08,496 Yeah, I was very excited. I want to go. 348 00:11:08,529 --> 00:11:09,997 -All right. -Go see the boys. 349 00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,332 -Have fun, buddy. -Go see the boys. 350 00:11:11,365 --> 00:11:13,334 -Get after it. -(chuckles) Okay. 351 00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:15,870 -FRANK: Okay. -I don't know how much more of this I can take. 352 00:11:15,903 --> 00:11:18,038 Hey, we're almost there, Dee, okay? He's getting tired. 353 00:11:18,072 --> 00:11:19,874 Let's let run him around the bridge for a little while, 354 00:11:19,907 --> 00:11:21,842 -and then we have one more stop, okay? -Uh... 355 00:11:25,412 --> 00:11:27,815 Oh, he's pissing on another hydrant. 356 00:11:27,848 --> 00:11:29,517 Okay. He's... 357 00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:31,886 literally turning into a dog. 358 00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:32,953 Yeah. 359 00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:37,491 I got to smash. 360 00:11:37,525 --> 00:11:39,627 You just smashed. You smashed, like, three times 361 00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:41,462 on the way up here. We keep having to pull over 362 00:11:41,495 --> 00:11:43,063 -so you can smash. What... -There is a lot of smashing. 363 00:11:43,097 --> 00:11:44,598 She's very regular. 364 00:11:44,632 --> 00:11:46,367 Oh, no, I'm out of paper towels. 365 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,469 Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, Mrs. Kelly. 366 00:11:48,502 --> 00:11:50,504 I'm sure my Uncle Donald has toilet paper. 367 00:11:50,538 --> 00:11:51,639 You've been wiping with paper towels? 368 00:11:51,672 --> 00:11:54,074 I hope everyone 369 00:11:54,108 --> 00:11:55,943 brought their appetite 370 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,512 because I made quiche. 371 00:11:58,546 --> 00:11:59,880 -(gasps) -(laughs) 372 00:11:59,914 --> 00:12:01,882 Aw, that's really nice, Uncle Donald, 373 00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:03,350 but we're kind of in a hurry. 374 00:12:03,384 --> 00:12:05,719 W-Well, that's a shame. (stammers) 375 00:12:05,753 --> 00:12:07,388 We never get to see each other. 376 00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:09,657 Yeah, that is a shame, 377 00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:12,626 but I'm really here about the letters. 378 00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,728 You know, the letters that 379 00:12:14,762 --> 00:12:16,530 Grandpop wrote to you and Dad during the war. 380 00:12:16,564 --> 00:12:19,900 Oh. Oh, yes, yes, I-I-I have those letters. 381 00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:21,602 Oh, that's great. 382 00:12:21,635 --> 00:12:23,471 I was kind of hoping they would pass down to me. 383 00:12:23,504 --> 00:12:25,473 You know, sort of like a family heirloom. 384 00:12:25,506 --> 00:12:27,808 Well, that would make sense because, well, 385 00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,877 they weren't actually written to me. 386 00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:33,013 They were addressed only, uh, to your dad. 387 00:12:33,047 --> 00:12:35,783 Grandpop didn't write to you? 388 00:12:35,816 --> 00:12:38,519 He-he liked your dad, uh... more. 389 00:12:38,552 --> 00:12:40,354 Uh, you know, I was the, um, 390 00:12:40,387 --> 00:12:41,889 you know, "funny" one, you know. 391 00:12:41,922 --> 00:12:44,058 It's the reason I never got married. 392 00:12:44,091 --> 00:12:46,727 Not something we talked about back then, but... 393 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,363 but i-it always made me feel, 394 00:12:49,396 --> 00:12:52,032 uh, a little, uh... 395 00:12:52,066 --> 00:12:54,401 different. 396 00:12:54,435 --> 00:12:56,036 Well, I-I'm sure you can understand 397 00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:57,438 what that feels like, Ronald. 398 00:12:59,807 --> 00:13:00,941 No. 399 00:13:00,975 --> 00:13:03,043 So, the letters? 400 00:13:03,077 --> 00:13:05,513 -Oh, yes. (laughing) -Yeah? 401 00:13:05,546 --> 00:13:07,515 -CHARLIE: Oh! - Sure. 402 00:13:07,548 --> 00:13:09,383 Okay. 403 00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:11,585 Yeah, this is, uh, this is great, Uncle Donald, 404 00:13:11,619 --> 00:13:12,853 'cause it's really gonna tie 405 00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:14,655 a lot of things together for me, you know? 406 00:13:14,688 --> 00:13:16,657 It's, uh-- I have something to pass down to my kids. 407 00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:18,392 It's-it's important to have a legacy. 408 00:13:18,425 --> 00:13:19,860 Oh, yes. You know, I... 409 00:13:19,894 --> 00:13:21,996 I wouldn't know, though. I, you know, I... 410 00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:24,031 I don't have any children of my own. 411 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,066 Oh, yeah. 412 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,868 -(whispers): What is this guy's deal? -DONALD: Oh, here they are. 413 00:13:27,902 --> 00:13:29,904 (whispers): It's, like, everything you've ever wanted. 414 00:13:29,937 --> 00:13:32,773 Kind of sad, really, uh, me keeping letters 415 00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:35,342 that, uh, weren't even for me. 416 00:13:35,376 --> 00:13:37,611 (laughs) You know. But, uh... 417 00:13:37,645 --> 00:13:41,048 I guess I just, uh, wanted a connection, uh... 418 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,883 (sniffles) 419 00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:44,418 ...with my dad. 420 00:13:45,686 --> 00:13:47,054 Yeah. 421 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:50,658 That is sad. 422 00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:52,760 If I could just-- Yeah. Thank you. 423 00:13:52,793 --> 00:13:55,329 I mean, you know, there's nothing more... 424 00:13:55,362 --> 00:13:57,398 more important in this world than the connection 425 00:13:57,431 --> 00:13:59,033 between a father and a son. 426 00:13:59,066 --> 00:14:01,936 Well, besides the connection between a son and a mother. 427 00:14:01,969 --> 00:14:03,604 Right, Mom? 428 00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:07,007 She's smashing. 429 00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:09,510 -Yeah, she took off, man. -Yeah, she had to smash. 430 00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:12,646 Well, I guess we could wait for her in the car. 431 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,014 This is so annoying. 432 00:14:14,048 --> 00:14:15,883 I mean, you're gonna take time out of my day, 433 00:14:15,916 --> 00:14:17,485 and you have everything you've ever dreamed of right here, 434 00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:19,019 but we're gonna just blow right past it, aren't we? 435 00:14:19,053 --> 00:14:20,588 It's probably time to go, huh? 436 00:14:20,621 --> 00:14:22,623 -Well, uh, o-okay. -Yeah. 437 00:14:22,656 --> 00:14:24,058 Okay, well-well, uh, you know, hey, 438 00:14:24,091 --> 00:14:26,026 if you ever want to, uh, you know, hang out, 439 00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:28,496 you know, we could throw the old football around. 440 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:30,364 Ah, I don't really like playing football. 441 00:14:30,397 --> 00:14:31,765 It's kind of for jocks. 442 00:14:31,799 --> 00:14:33,501 -It's all he ever talks about... -No, it's like... 443 00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:34,902 ...is wanting to have a catch with his dad, so... 444 00:14:34,935 --> 00:14:35,936 Nah, 'cause remember we were talking about how 445 00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:37,404 it was like a... for jocks? 446 00:14:37,438 --> 00:14:39,373 -Uh, no. That never happened. -Oh. 447 00:14:39,406 --> 00:14:41,008 Uh, yeah, well, uh, we could read. 448 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,743 -We could read. -Oh, but, like, he can't read. 449 00:14:42,776 --> 00:14:44,512 -Imagine that. Imagine that. -He can't read, so... 450 00:14:44,545 --> 00:14:45,746 Yeah, but he's not talking about me, he's talking about 451 00:14:45,779 --> 00:14:47,348 -bonding with you. -Yeah, like... 452 00:14:47,381 --> 00:14:48,382 But we're gonna blow right past this, huh? 453 00:14:48,415 --> 00:14:49,617 Reading is for nerds, so... 454 00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:50,785 -Yeah, is that what it is? -Yeah. 455 00:14:50,818 --> 00:14:52,386 -Uh, cards? -Uh, well, 456 00:14:52,419 --> 00:14:53,988 the thing about cards is, like, with the... 457 00:14:54,021 --> 00:14:56,891 the jacks and the queens and the kings and, like, 458 00:14:56,924 --> 00:14:58,592 I don't like celebrating royalty. 459 00:14:58,626 --> 00:15:00,494 -You know, he-he knows that. -Oh, my God, dude. 460 00:15:00,528 --> 00:15:02,329 -Oh, my God, man. -You know that. We've talked about that. 461 00:15:02,363 --> 00:15:04,532 You're driving me crazy, dude. All right, fine, let's go. 462 00:15:04,565 --> 00:15:06,801 -Bye-bye. -Okay, maybe you guys can swap phone numbers or... 463 00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:09,470 -I think that would be weird. -No? No, not gonna do it? 464 00:15:09,503 --> 00:15:10,437 -That would be weird. Okay. -Fine, then this was a good waste of our time, wasn't it? 465 00:15:15,009 --> 00:15:16,977 -Well, t 466 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:18,512 -Yep. -Mm. 467 00:15:18,546 --> 00:15:19,480 DENNIS: Beautiful. Probably brings back 468 00:15:19,513 --> 00:15:20,614 a lot of good memories. 469 00:15:20,648 --> 00:15:21,982 -Right, Frank? -Absolutely. 470 00:15:22,016 --> 00:15:24,952 -Yeah. -You guys, uh, mind if I... 471 00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:27,488 -Oh, no. Of course. No, please. Please. Yeah. -Please. Yeah. 472 00:15:28,889 --> 00:15:30,691 Take that you, cesspool. 473 00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:33,694 Polluted sack of shit. 474 00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:36,030 You know, Dee, I kind of feel like we did a good thing here. 475 00:15:36,063 --> 00:15:38,666 I do, too. We gave him a good day. 476 00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,434 -Mm-hmm. -For him. 477 00:15:40,468 --> 00:15:41,902 Not for a normal person. 478 00:15:41,936 --> 00:15:43,404 -(chuckles) -Yeah. Jesus. 479 00:15:45,339 --> 00:15:46,574 Right. 480 00:15:46,607 --> 00:15:47,708 You all done, bud? 481 00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:50,311 -Yeah. Thanks, guys. -Yeah. 482 00:15:50,344 --> 00:15:51,912 -Good. Hey, oh, absolutely. -Yeah. 483 00:15:51,946 --> 00:15:53,848 -You got it. -Hey, listen, where to now, Frank? 484 00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:55,416 -We want to take you somewhere. -Uh, no, it's okay. I get it. 485 00:15:55,449 --> 00:15:57,384 I-I thought it was a cash grab at first, 486 00:15:57,418 --> 00:15:58,986 but I see where you're going. 487 00:15:59,019 --> 00:16:01,822 The hamburger, playing with Duncan under the bridge, 488 00:16:01,856 --> 00:16:03,290 and now the beach. 489 00:16:03,324 --> 00:16:04,692 A perfect day can't last forever. 490 00:16:04,725 --> 00:16:06,494 I know why we're here. 491 00:16:06,527 --> 00:16:08,596 Oh. You do? 492 00:16:08,629 --> 00:16:09,997 (chuckles) Gosh. 493 00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,565 Thanks for making it so easy on us. 494 00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:13,400 -We expected more resistance. -Yeah. 495 00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:15,703 Well, I guess hung on a little bit too long. 496 00:16:15,736 --> 00:16:18,072 -A little bit. -And afterwards, you guys can have the money. 497 00:16:18,105 --> 00:16:19,940 -(gasps) You mean it? -Really? 498 00:16:19,974 --> 00:16:21,842 Yeah. Here. 499 00:16:21,876 --> 00:16:23,777 Oh. Gosh. 500 00:16:23,811 --> 00:16:25,980 I-I got to say, this-this went 501 00:16:26,013 --> 00:16:27,815 -so much more smoothly than I... -Yeah, it really did. 502 00:16:27,848 --> 00:16:30,484 Uh, just do it when I'm looking out at the ocean. 503 00:16:33,387 --> 00:16:34,522 Huh? 504 00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:37,358 Ah, don't be coy. I had a good run. 505 00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:38,826 -What are you... -And it's really good 506 00:16:38,859 --> 00:16:39,927 you didn't do it in front of Charlie. 507 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,061 That was a class move. 508 00:16:41,095 --> 00:16:42,930 Just put me down quick. 509 00:16:44,632 --> 00:16:46,300 Put you down? Wha... 510 00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:47,768 Oh, you know what? I think I'm gonna run, 511 00:16:47,802 --> 00:16:49,737 and then you do what you have to do. 512 00:16:49,770 --> 00:16:52,339 But if you shoot me in the leg, come over and finish me off, 513 00:16:52,373 --> 00:16:53,841 because I don't want to lay there and suffer. 514 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:55,409 -Actually, here, I'm gonna take... -What? 515 00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:56,777 What the hell are you doing? 516 00:16:56,811 --> 00:16:58,846 I'm gonna go natural, because I've seen 517 00:16:58,879 --> 00:17:01,849 too many guys die and take a shit in their pants. 518 00:17:01,882 --> 00:17:03,617 I don't want that. And bury my poop. 519 00:17:03,651 --> 00:17:05,519 Or just kick some sand over it. 520 00:17:05,553 --> 00:17:07,455 'Cause-- And then you can do what you want to do. 521 00:17:07,488 --> 00:17:10,024 You can float me out into the ocean and let sharks eat me. 522 00:17:10,057 --> 00:17:11,425 Or you can leave me on the ground, 523 00:17:11,459 --> 00:17:12,626 gruesome for the kids to see. 524 00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,595 Oh, ugh. Oh, my God. 525 00:17:14,628 --> 00:17:16,730 We are not gonna kill you, Frank. 526 00:17:16,764 --> 00:17:18,732 -Huh? -What, did you think 527 00:17:18,766 --> 00:17:20,835 we were just gonna shoot you right here on the beach? 528 00:17:20,868 --> 00:17:22,369 I mean, there-there's people around. 529 00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:23,971 I'm actually surprised they didn't run 530 00:17:24,004 --> 00:17:25,873 -when you started shooting the ocean. -I-I'm not. 531 00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:27,975 It's the Jersey Shore. But good God, man. 532 00:17:28,008 --> 00:17:29,543 Well, if you're not gonna snuff me out, 533 00:17:29,577 --> 00:17:31,011 what the hell are you doing? 534 00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:32,847 We were giving you one last day with your gun. 535 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,615 Yeah, it's time to let it go, Frank. 536 00:17:34,648 --> 00:17:35,883 You were stealing my gun? 537 00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:36,984 -DENNIS: Well... -Screw that. 538 00:17:37,017 --> 00:17:38,419 No, it's too dangerous, Frank. 539 00:17:38,452 --> 00:17:39,820 You're out of control with that thing. 540 00:17:39,854 --> 00:17:41,555 By the way, you're out of the will again. 541 00:17:41,589 --> 00:17:42,923 -What? -Why? Just because of the gun? -Yeah. 542 00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:45,926 Exactly. Because I don't trust you two guys. 543 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,762 I mean, if you're in the will, who knows? 544 00:17:48,796 --> 00:17:50,598 You may wind up shooting me in the back. 545 00:17:50,631 --> 00:17:53,000 -Ah! -You just told us to shoot you in the back! 546 00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:54,702 That's different. It's not the same thing. 547 00:17:54,735 --> 00:17:55,803 Take me back to Philly. 548 00:17:55,836 --> 00:17:56,971 You get an Uber. 549 00:17:57,004 --> 00:17:58,539 -DENNIS: Yeah. -Get in the car. 550 00:17:58,572 --> 00:18:00,074 -Goddamn it. -Go on. Let's go. -Dee, 551 00:18:00,107 --> 00:18:01,542 -why'd you let him snatch that thing back? -I-I... 552 00:18:03,811 --> 00:18:05,779 All right, let's go. 553 00:18:05,813 --> 00:18:07,815 -Just barge right in, Mom. -O-Okay. 554 00:18:07,848 --> 00:18:09,884 Don't-don't be shy, okay? 555 00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:11,719 Bunny? 556 00:18:11,752 --> 00:18:13,754 Candy? 557 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,924 -Are you home? -Which one is the can? 558 00:18:16,957 --> 00:18:18,392 There's probably, like, a million bathrooms. 559 00:18:18,425 --> 00:18:20,361 Just go find a bathroom, Mrs. Mac. 560 00:18:20,394 --> 00:18:22,863 -(groans) -I don't remember those being your sisters' names. 561 00:18:22,897 --> 00:18:24,865 No, it's not their names. They had their names changed. 562 00:18:24,899 --> 00:18:27,368 Oh. How do they afford to live like this? 563 00:18:27,401 --> 00:18:28,369 T-They're doing some, like, stupid, 564 00:18:28,402 --> 00:18:30,004 like, social media thing. 565 00:18:30,037 --> 00:18:31,438 I-I don't know, I guess they're making a killing on it. 566 00:18:31,472 --> 00:18:34,008 Hey! Candy, Bunny! 567 00:18:34,041 --> 00:18:35,509 -Candy... -Oh, my God. 568 00:18:35,543 --> 00:18:36,811 BOTH: Mom, what are you doing here? 569 00:18:36,844 --> 00:18:38,712 Well, we just wanted to drive up... 570 00:18:38,746 --> 00:18:40,014 BOTH: Why'd you bring Dirt Grub? 571 00:18:40,047 --> 00:18:41,315 Oh, yeah, hi. Nice to see you, too. 572 00:18:41,348 --> 00:18:42,416 BOTH: Shut up, fag! 573 00:18:42,449 --> 00:18:43,450 Why'd you bring your fag friend? 574 00:18:43,484 --> 00:18:44,552 Yeah, why is Mac here? 575 00:18:44,585 --> 00:18:46,821 -(sighs) -This is so distasteful. 576 00:18:46,854 --> 00:18:48,522 Uh, dude, uh... 577 00:18:48,556 --> 00:18:49,757 You know what? I'm not gonna argue with you guys. 578 00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:51,292 -Oh, you're not? -Okay? No, I'm just here 579 00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:52,593 -for the teeth. -No, you can't have them. 580 00:18:52,626 --> 00:18:54,028 Yeah, you can't have them, Charlie. 581 00:18:54,061 --> 00:18:55,596 -You can't have them. -Mom gave them to us. 582 00:18:55,629 --> 00:18:57,398 Well, what do you even care about the teeth? 583 00:18:57,431 --> 00:18:58,866 I-I thought you always said they were weird and gross. 584 00:18:58,899 --> 00:19:00,434 -They are weird and gross. -Yeah, super gross, 585 00:19:00,468 --> 00:19:01,702 but people like that stuff, so we need them. 586 00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:03,437 -We need them. -Need them for what? 587 00:19:03,471 --> 00:19:04,705 ASMR, dickweed. 588 00:19:04,738 --> 00:19:06,974 Yeah. ASMR. 589 00:19:07,007 --> 00:19:08,876 What is that? What even is that? 590 00:19:08,909 --> 00:19:11,412 We stick our hands in the jar. 591 00:19:11,445 --> 00:19:13,447 People pay to watch us stick our hand in the jar. 592 00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:14,915 -They pay for that shit. -Yeah. 593 00:19:14,949 --> 00:19:16,550 They like the noise of the teeth, 594 00:19:16,584 --> 00:19:17,718 and they give us a lot of money on OnlyFans. 595 00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:19,420 -Like, a lot of money. -What? 596 00:19:19,453 --> 00:19:21,355 -More than you could ever imagine. -Yeah. 597 00:19:21,388 --> 00:19:22,990 All your doing is sticking your hands in teeth 598 00:19:23,023 --> 00:19:24,959 and people pay you enough to live like this? 599 00:19:24,992 --> 00:19:27,995 -We obviously take our tops off. Like... -Obviously. 600 00:19:28,028 --> 00:19:29,530 -Oh, girls. -BUNNY: Oh, my God. 601 00:19:29,563 --> 00:19:31,398 -Shut up, slut. -You're literally a slut. 602 00:19:31,432 --> 00:19:33,000 All right, you know what? Give me the teeth. Give me the teeth. 603 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:34,535 No. Finders keepers, bitch. 604 00:19:34,568 --> 00:19:35,870 -Finders keepers. -You did not find them! 605 00:19:35,903 --> 00:19:37,571 -Mom gave them to you. -Yeah, she did. 606 00:19:37,605 --> 00:19:39,673 -Okay, we're her favorite. -I clogged the toilet. 607 00:19:39,707 --> 00:19:42,643 -What the hell? Gross. -Who is this old lady clogging our toilet? 608 00:19:42,676 --> 00:19:43,744 That's my mommy. 609 00:19:43,777 --> 00:19:45,379 BOTH: Gross, Mac! 610 00:19:45,412 --> 00:19:46,614 Why did you clog our toilet? 611 00:19:46,647 --> 00:19:48,382 Why'd you clog our toilet, old lady? 612 00:19:48,415 --> 00:19:50,317 There was no TP. 613 00:19:50,351 --> 00:19:52,853 If there was no TP, what did you wipe with? 614 00:19:53,854 --> 00:19:54,989 The letters. 615 00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:57,992 You wiped your butt with the letters 616 00:19:58,025 --> 00:19:59,994 that Grandpop sent Dad and then flushed them down the toilet? 617 00:20:00,027 --> 00:20:01,762 Yeah. 618 00:20:01,796 --> 00:20:03,430 -(groans) -BUNNY: Oh, my God. 619 00:20:03,464 --> 00:20:04,899 This is so weird, guys. You got to go. 620 00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:06,500 -All right, you know what? -No. No. 621 00:20:06,534 --> 00:20:07,902 Hey, hey. Put that down. 622 00:20:07,935 --> 00:20:09,670 This is gonna be the new Kelly family heirloom, 623 00:20:09,703 --> 00:20:11,505 and I'm gonna put all my teeth in it 624 00:20:11,539 --> 00:20:14,508 and all of Mom's teeth in it and none of yours. 625 00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:16,443 (Charlie groaning) 626 00:20:16,477 --> 00:20:17,611 Okay. 627 00:20:17,645 --> 00:20:18,846 (mumbles) Oh, uh, yep. 628 00:20:18,879 --> 00:20:20,714 -Yep. Yep. -You got to stop 629 00:20:20,748 --> 00:20:22,883 doing that. You're not gonna have any teeth left. 630 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,518 You sure you don't want to pop a couple in? 631 00:20:24,552 --> 00:20:25,553 You know, you can be a part of my legacy, dude. 632 00:20:25,586 --> 00:20:26,554 I-I feel like you should be. 633 00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:27,988 -No, I-I'm good. -Yeah? 634 00:20:28,022 --> 00:20:29,623 -Yeah, I'm good. -All right, I'll tell you what. 635 00:20:29,657 --> 00:20:30,691 When one-one falls out, go ahead and toss it in. 636 00:20:30,724 --> 00:20:32,526 -It's cool. -It won't. 637 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,029 (gunshots) 638 00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:38,632 Yeah. There. Take that, lock. 639 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,969 Oh, what the hell, man? 640 00:20:42,002 --> 00:20:43,737 And the door wasn't even locked. 641 00:20:43,771 --> 00:20:44,972 You're paying for that door, Frank. 642 00:20:45,005 --> 00:20:46,540 All right, all right. 643 00:20:46,574 --> 00:20:48,843 Well, this is great. This is just great. 644 00:20:48,876 --> 00:20:49,977 You know, like, now what are we supposed to all put 645 00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:51,979 -our teeth in? -Our faces? 646 00:20:52,012 --> 00:20:53,714 -What are you talking about? -I'm talking about our legacy. 647 00:20:53,747 --> 00:20:55,549 You know? I can't hold onto it, man. 648 00:20:55,583 --> 00:20:57,284 Legacy? You want to talk legacy? You know what our legacy is? 649 00:20:57,318 --> 00:20:58,619 Spending our lives in this goddamn bar 650 00:20:58,652 --> 00:21:00,821 with a lunatic man who acts like a dog 651 00:21:00,855 --> 00:21:02,690 and handles his gun like a maniac! 652 00:21:02,723 --> 00:21:04,558 Oh, fine. 653 00:21:04,592 --> 00:21:07,495 I see where this pity party's headed. 654 00:21:07,528 --> 00:21:09,563 If you're gonna be crybabies about it, 655 00:21:09,597 --> 00:21:11,765 all right, take my gun. 656 00:21:14,435 --> 00:21:15,970 -Ow! Ow! -Shit! 657 00:21:16,003 --> 00:21:17,571 (all groaning) 658 00:21:17,605 --> 00:21:18,873 Shit. 659 00:21:18,906 --> 00:21:20,875 Well, there you have it, Frank. 660 00:21:20,908 --> 00:21:23,344 You've officially shot everyone in the bar. 661 00:21:23,377 --> 00:21:24,645 ♪ ♪ 662 00:21:40,628 --> 00:21:42,663 ♪ ♪ 663 00:22:00,648 --> 00:22:03,651 (trio chanting backwards)