1 00:00:01,513 --> 00:00:03,486 Well, this is an interesting development. 2 00:00:03,566 --> 00:00:05,422 - This is not good. - Goddamn it, dude. 3 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,204 Do you think maybe he's just vacationing, though? 4 00:00:07,284 --> 00:00:10,395 Charlie, there's blocks in front and back of his tires. He's not going anywhere. 5 00:00:10,475 --> 00:00:13,899 No, this guy's planted himself here and I tell you what. once all the other RV folks 6 00:00:13,979 --> 00:00:16,412 see what this RV guy's doing, they're going to start parking 7 00:00:16,412 --> 00:00:17,890 - their RVs on our street. - Shit! 8 00:00:17,941 --> 00:00:20,724 And we're going to be staring down the barrel of a shanty town situation. 9 00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:21,640 Oh, my god, dude. 10 00:00:21,715 --> 00:00:24,678 Who just takes their vehicle and parks it in someone's, you know, street, 11 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,451 and says, "This is my street"? "i'm going to live here now 'cause i'm poor!" 12 00:00:27,531 --> 00:00:29,102 I'll tell you who. The new poor. 13 00:00:29,142 --> 00:00:30,929 - The what? -Ever since the recession hit, 14 00:00:31,009 --> 00:00:32,531 waves of new people are suddenly broke. 15 00:00:32,611 --> 00:00:34,853 these people have no idea how to live without money. 16 00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:37,305 They're what's called "new poor." We're old poor. 17 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:40,881 Yeah. they can stand to learn a lesson or two from us because we would never take our homelessness 18 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,472 and shove it down everybody's face. 19 00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:45,095 No, have some class if you're going to be poor. 20 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,106 all right, let's get this guy out of here, send him a message. 21 00:00:47,106 --> 00:00:48,948 - Let's do it. - Right, let's slash his tires. 22 00:00:48,988 --> 00:00:51,140 Well, not that, though, because then he can't leave, 23 00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:53,687 - that doesn't make any sense. - well, you start putting plans under microscopes 24 00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:56,068 - and nothing's gonna make sense, all right? - Lots of things make sense. 25 00:00:56,108 --> 00:00:58,363 slashing someone's tires so that they leave makes no sense, charlie. 26 00:00:58,403 --> 00:01:00,362 You're going to put everything I say under a microscope, bud? 27 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,493 - It's a stupid idea, Charlie. - I'm sorry. Do you have a better plan? 28 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,291 Dee, sharpest item in the bar-- 29 00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:08,520 I need it now! Let's go! 30 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:13,242 - Whoa. What the hell's going on over here? - Oh, frank's trying to kill himself. 31 00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:15,976 Oh, my god, is he all right? Frank, are you all right? 32 00:01:16,692 --> 00:01:18,444 - Don't try to stop me. - Oh, my god. 33 00:01:18,471 --> 00:01:19,771 Oh, so he's alive. 34 00:01:19,773 --> 00:01:21,984 Lost all my money in a ponzi scheme, Charlie. 35 00:01:22,064 --> 00:01:24,239 - I'm broke. - His neck is so thick. 36 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,823 i feel like he's just going to swing and dangle around for a really long time. 37 00:01:26,863 --> 00:01:29,069 - That's what it is. - Let's cut him down, let's cut him down. 38 00:01:29,070 --> 00:01:30,777 - No, no, no, no, pull my leg. - Frank, it's not going to work for you. 39 00:01:30,778 --> 00:01:33,806 - Your neck's too thick, buddy. - Tie a chair to me. Tie a chair to me. 40 00:01:33,992 --> 00:01:35,717 Times are tough, huh? 41 00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:37,472 Shit. 42 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,410 "The Great Recession" 43 00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:43,436 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 5X03 44 00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:48,406 Subtitle by mczolly 45 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:53,808 Synchro by mczolly 46 00:01:54,193 --> 00:01:59,317 www.addic7ed.com 47 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,042 - This is terrible. - What? 48 00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:17,532 What are you talking about? What is terrible? 49 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,740 Frank, if you're looking for a better steak in an arcade setting, 50 00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,276 - you are shit out of luck. - No, i'm talking about 51 00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:23,766 - eating out all the time. - It's a business expense, Frank. 52 00:02:23,846 --> 00:02:27,095 It's only fair that the upper management of the bar get together to talk shop over 53 00:02:27,135 --> 00:02:28,953 notch steak and some video games. 54 00:02:28,993 --> 00:02:31,190 You two have no idea how serious this is. 55 00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:33,234 I can't bail you out anymore. 56 00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:35,451 Maybe we should take this time to streamline paddy's, 57 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,808 make it run as efficiently as the government. 58 00:02:38,098 --> 00:02:40,543 - Cut out the steak dinners. - We're not cutting out the steak dinners, Frank, 59 00:02:40,623 --> 00:02:43,415 so just hold your horses on that one. If anything, we should be talking about bonuses. 60 00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:44,937 Let's talk bonuses. That's a good idea. 61 00:02:45,017 --> 00:02:46,339 - Bonuses? - Yeah. 62 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,793 You run the business into the ground and you want bonuses? 63 00:02:48,873 --> 00:02:51,020 Frank, don't be a moron. You start cutting bonuses, 64 00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:52,343 you're going to lose your top guys. 65 00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,385 You got to separate the wheat from the chaff somehow. 66 00:02:54,585 --> 00:02:56,177 - And these dudes are all chaff. - Yeah. 67 00:02:56,257 --> 00:02:58,213 Well, no, we're all wheat. 68 00:02:58,288 --> 00:03:00,225 - No, we're chaff. - No, we're not. We're wheat. 69 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,402 - Why would you want to be wheat? - Why would you ever want to be chaff? 70 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,606 Well, who wants to be... Okay, I'll be chaff, you be wheat. 71 00:03:04,686 --> 00:03:08,422 You two idiots have no business sense whatsoever. 72 00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:11,936 We have no business sense? He's the one dangling from a noose ten minutes ago. 73 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,132 That's a good point. you know, let's start streamlining right now. 74 00:03:14,212 --> 00:03:15,307 Frank, you're out. You're fired. 75 00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:19,257 - Oh! You just got squeezed out, bitch! - Oh, i'm squeezed out? 76 00:03:19,381 --> 00:03:22,113 Oh, well, let's see how far you two idiots get without 77 00:03:22,113 --> 00:03:24,367 Frank Reynolds bailing you out every five minutes. 78 00:03:24,323 --> 00:03:25,717 I'm out of here. 79 00:03:25,829 --> 00:03:27,894 I'm comfortable being chaff, if you want to be wheat. 80 00:03:27,895 --> 00:03:29,236 Okay, man, whatever. 81 00:03:34,509 --> 00:03:35,880 You're firing us? 82 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,017 Well, first we're going to give you the opportunity to defend your jobs. 83 00:03:39,057 --> 00:03:40,366 - Really? - Yeah. 84 00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:42,474 - All right. I appreciate the opportunity, fellas. - All right. 85 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,790 I'm on it. Whoo! 86 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,682 Show us what you do around here, Charlie. 87 00:03:45,762 --> 00:03:47,325 Oh, come on. This is bullshit. 88 00:03:47,405 --> 00:03:49,107 I shouldn't have to defend my job to you. 89 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,499 Dee, we don't know what it is that you do around here. 90 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,315 You don't really seem to do anything. 91 00:03:53,355 --> 00:03:56,507 Me?! Come on! I do a shitload. 92 00:03:56,587 --> 00:03:58,407 Why don't you make us a drink? 93 00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:01,103 Fine. I'll crack you open a beer. 94 00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:02,918 No, no, no. Not a beer. 95 00:04:02,955 --> 00:04:04,484 Something you have to mix. 96 00:04:04,564 --> 00:04:06,483 But this bottle is cold-activated. 97 00:04:06,535 --> 00:04:08,636 I mean, look at it. Doesn't that look delicious? 98 00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,492 It does look delicious, but mix me a drink. 99 00:04:10,532 --> 00:04:13,029 - But the mountains, they've turned blue. Don't you... - Mojito me, please. 100 00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:14,618 A refreshing mojito would do. 101 00:04:14,658 --> 00:04:16,260 Nobody orders a mojito in this bar. 102 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,420 - So, you can't make a mojito. - Of course i can make a mojito. 103 00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:19,936 - Then make one. - Fine. 104 00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:22,864 One mojito coming up, gentlemen. 105 00:04:25,992 --> 00:04:28,619 -I quit. - Goddamn it. Shit. 106 00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:30,387 - I was really looking forward to firing her. - Me, too. 107 00:04:30,427 --> 00:04:34,561 Okay, boys. let's talk rat traps, okay? 108 00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:42,572 I need money. 109 00:04:42,752 --> 00:04:44,583 The guys were being total knobs, so i quit. 110 00:04:44,663 --> 00:04:47,304 Also, you're really behind on my rent and they're threatening to evict me, 111 00:04:47,344 --> 00:04:48,644 so... Money. 112 00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:51,856 What part of, "I am broke" don't you guys understand? 113 00:04:51,936 --> 00:04:55,047 I tried to hang myself. No more bailouts. 114 00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:58,413 - Well, what am i supposed to do? - Not my problemo. 115 00:04:58,573 --> 00:05:01,915 - What's with the briefcase? - I'm going to start a new business. 116 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,095 I created an empire before and I can do it again. 117 00:05:06,176 --> 00:05:09,842 You are really good at making money. Okay, I'm in. 118 00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:12,353 What are you talking about? What value are you to me? 119 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:14,488 I'm desperate, so I'll do anything. 120 00:05:14,569 --> 00:05:17,191 Okay, that's good. Mm-hmm. Are you willing to destroy your credit? 121 00:05:17,271 --> 00:05:19,834 - It's never really been a problem before. - That's good. hold that. 122 00:05:19,874 --> 00:05:21,851 We're going to take out a big loan in your name. 123 00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:23,357 - and get an office. - Great. 124 00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:25,113 Okay. Let's go. 125 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,435 All right. That's the rainwater barrels. 126 00:05:27,515 --> 00:05:30,797 Now, let's talk about the trash. What do i do with the trash? 127 00:05:30,877 --> 00:05:32,931 How do I dispose of the trash? 128 00:05:33,011 --> 00:05:35,653 I don't know. We disposed of the trash in the dumpster last night. 129 00:05:35,693 --> 00:05:38,170 - What are you doing with it? - I am taking it to the furnace. 130 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,505 - We have a furnace? - Absolutely. 131 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,998 - Where do you think the heat comes from? - You burn the trash in the furnace? 132 00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:45,081 This bar runs on trash, dude. This bar is totally green that way. 133 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,834 How is burning trash green? 134 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,628 Uh, because I'm recycling the trash into heat for the bar 135 00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:51,885 lots of smoke for the bar. I'm giving the bar the good 136 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,583 smoky smell that we all like. 137 00:05:53,795 --> 00:05:55,192 The bar smells like trash. 138 00:05:55,193 --> 00:05:56,993 That's the exact opposite of green, Charlie. 139 00:05:57,002 --> 00:05:59,846 Oh, i'm sorry. Well, I could put the trash into a landfill 140 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,594 where it's going to stay for millions of years, or I could burn it up 141 00:06:02,594 --> 00:06:07,017 and get a nice smoky smell in here and let that smoke go into the sky where it turns into stars. 142 00:06:07,232 --> 00:06:08,949 That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough 143 00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,277 about stars to dispute it. 144 00:06:10,278 --> 00:06:11,886 - No, it's right. - It's not right. 145 00:06:11,966 --> 00:06:14,254 - Are we almost done? Are we almost done? - No, we're not done. 146 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:16,239 - I got one more piece of business. - What is it? 147 00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:18,702 Lastly, before I open the bar in the morning, 148 00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:22,583 I always make sure to turn on the coors sign, let people know we got iced, 149 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,044 delicious coors in the bar, 150 00:06:24,219 --> 00:06:27,097 you know? And then, uh, that's the last thing I do. 151 00:06:27,097 --> 00:06:28,927 Old charlie's done a lot of work around here. 152 00:06:29,298 --> 00:06:32,084 Charlie, that sign does not say "coors." 153 00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:35,392 - Come outside. Come outside. - Goddamn it! 154 00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:39,221 "Closed"! 155 00:06:39,276 --> 00:06:40,884 It says "closed," Charlie. 156 00:06:40,924 --> 00:06:43,484 Okay. Yeah, right, I can see that now, 157 00:06:43,564 --> 00:06:45,576 but you know, you can't really read it from the inside. 158 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,294 You can't read it from the outside. 159 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:48,866 - All right, you know what? Forget it, Forget it. - I can read it. 160 00:06:48,946 --> 00:06:50,606 Are we done with this? Have we gone through everything? 161 00:06:50,646 --> 00:06:51,946 Well, that was the last thing that i do, sure. 162 00:06:51,964 --> 00:06:53,265 Okay, great. You're fired. 163 00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,159 - No, come on. You're not firing me. - Yeah. 164 00:06:55,239 --> 00:06:57,814 No way. Oh, i'm sorry. Oh, really? 165 00:06:57,894 --> 00:07:00,802 Oh, so you're going to throw all the trash in the furnace yourselves 166 00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:03,747 and you're going to filter the rainwater barrel all by yourselves 167 00:07:03,782 --> 00:07:06,226 and I suppose you're going to fiddle with the electricity every day, 168 00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:08,433 all by yourselves, and you're going to siphon it from all around the neighborhood? 169 00:07:08,468 --> 00:07:12,335 No, we're going to call a trash man and an electrician and a plumber and 170 00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:15,492 not turn the "closed" sign on when the bar is open. 171 00:07:18,452 --> 00:07:21,137 - No, god. what is this? - Are you kidding me? 172 00:07:21,172 --> 00:07:22,885 This is what i was talking about. 173 00:07:22,886 --> 00:07:25,469 We are going to have a shanty town here in no time. 174 00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:27,404 Shit! Goddamn it. 175 00:07:27,568 --> 00:07:29,183 Honey, I'm home. 176 00:07:29,184 --> 00:07:32,499 Feast your eyes on the new headquarters of Reynolds & Reynolds. 177 00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:34,559 Frank and I are starting a business. 178 00:07:34,594 --> 00:07:36,672 We sublet our apartments. We're living in here. 179 00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,701 Wait a second. You subletted our apartment? 180 00:07:38,816 --> 00:07:42,138 Well, what the hell, dude? I don't know if I can live in a trailer, man. 181 00:07:42,173 --> 00:07:45,061 Well, you don't have to, Charlie. It's kind of tight in there already. 182 00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:47,936 Well, hang on a second, bro. We're good in tight spaces. I'll make it work. 183 00:07:47,971 --> 00:07:49,838 - I'm sorry, Charlie. - What do you mean you're sorry? 184 00:07:49,839 --> 00:07:53,256 - There's no room at the inn. - You kidding me, dude? You kidding me? 185 00:07:54,411 --> 00:07:57,672 Unbelievable! So, now I'm reduced to sleeping in the bar. 186 00:07:57,707 --> 00:08:00,323 Oh, hell, no. No, no, no. You're not going to be sleeping in the bar. 187 00:08:00,358 --> 00:08:02,269 Where am I going to live? I'm going to live on the streets? 188 00:08:02,304 --> 00:08:03,824 It's a recession. Times are tough. 189 00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:05,297 Yeah, you'll bounce back, buddy. 190 00:08:05,298 --> 00:08:07,441 Come on, man! well, can I at least live with you guys? 191 00:08:08,982 --> 00:08:11,896 Uh, we're not in the business of giving out handouts, Charlie. We're not the government. 192 00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:14,054 Frankly, i'm a little embarrassed that you would ask. 193 00:08:14,089 --> 00:08:16,536 - Yeah, it's a little... a little gauche. - Ah, you guys are boning me, man. 194 00:08:16,571 --> 00:08:19,782 I tell you what. Why don't you and I hit D&B's and talk bonuses? 195 00:08:19,817 --> 00:08:22,330 Yeah, all right. Uh, Dennis, why don't you go ahead and lock that door. 196 00:08:22,365 --> 00:08:25,022 - You don't have to lock the door, okay? - We've got to lock him out. 197 00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:26,857 - Keep out the riffraff. - You don't have to lock the door, all right? 198 00:08:26,858 --> 00:08:28,845 You don't have to add insult to injury, okay? I will be fine. 199 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,317 - That's locked? - Yeah. 200 00:08:30,318 --> 00:08:32,306 - I got plenty of places to go. - No, you don't. 201 00:08:32,341 --> 00:08:35,185 Okay, Frank. Tell me about this business scheme you're cooking up. 202 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:37,587 - Give me your shoe. - A shoe? 203 00:08:37,622 --> 00:08:40,071 - Hand over your shoe. - All right. 204 00:08:42,592 --> 00:08:45,070 - Observe... - Wait, no, no, no... 205 00:08:45,105 --> 00:08:48,890 Ah, come on, man! That's a $200 shoe! 206 00:08:50,090 --> 00:08:51,813 What are you doing?! 207 00:08:51,814 --> 00:08:57,564 Feast your eyes on your new business: knives. 208 00:08:57,599 --> 00:08:59,306 You want me to sell knives door-to-door? 209 00:08:59,307 --> 00:09:01,244 No, you're selling vacuums. 210 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,473 I'm sorry. I took out a high-interest loan 211 00:09:03,473 --> 00:09:06,905 to invest in a door-to-door knife and vacuum selling business? 212 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:09,398 Not just any vacuum, this is wet vac-- 213 00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:11,333 commercial power for the home. 214 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,778 This'll get a red wine stain out of anything. 215 00:09:13,813 --> 00:09:15,299 Look. 216 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,537 Oh, goddamn it! 217 00:09:18,937 --> 00:09:21,111 Check it out, Deandra. 218 00:09:22,036 --> 00:09:24,852 All right. This baby is powerful. 219 00:09:25,452 --> 00:09:29,177 Now, cover your ears, because it has no muffler. 220 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,811 You jerk. 221 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,470 It's not built for shoes. 222 00:09:41,505 --> 00:09:43,748 But look at that rug. 223 00:09:55,351 --> 00:09:58,861 Oh, that's good Merlot. That's good Merlot. You're gonna want to keep those coming. 224 00:09:58,896 --> 00:10:01,496 It might be a little cheaper if you's went with a bottle of wine 225 00:10:01,496 --> 00:10:03,394 instead of chugging the individual glasses. 226 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,181 Maybe leave the judgment back in the kitchen. 227 00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:09,085 There is a little bit of a look of judgment on your face. Just go grab them and... 228 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,697 - Okay, no problem. - All right. 229 00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:12,875 Thank you. Great. Oh, she's terrific. 230 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,586 - I like her. Yeah, she's a cutie. - All right, now, listen, Mac. 231 00:10:14,587 --> 00:10:16,504 I did bring you here for a specific reason, okay? 232 00:10:16,539 --> 00:10:20,566 I got an idea for a stimulus plan for the bar that's gonna blow your freakin' mind. 233 00:10:20,601 --> 00:10:22,515 - Stimulus plan? - A stimulus plan. You want to hear it? 234 00:10:22,515 --> 00:10:24,805 - Lay it on me, bro. - Take a look around you right now. 235 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,848 Now, at a time where businesses are simply failing left and right, who's thriving? 236 00:10:29,513 --> 00:10:31,470 - Dave & Busters. - Dave & Buster's is thriving. 237 00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:32,463 Why do you think that is? 238 00:10:32,625 --> 00:10:35,522 - Uh, i don't know, videogames? - Video games are definitely a big part of it. 239 00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:39,397 I want you to do me a favor. Break down for me what i'm holding in my hand right now. 240 00:10:39,432 --> 00:10:41,855 Ah, that is a Dave & Buster's power card. 241 00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:46,638 Yes. now, does your dave & buster's card work at any other similar establishments, like say, 242 00:10:46,673 --> 00:10:48,849 - TGI friday's? - Mine does not. 243 00:10:48,884 --> 00:10:51,451 Believe me, I've tried at several locations. 244 00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:53,580 Okay, well, yeah. 'cause if you recall, i've actually been with you on 245 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:54,955 many of those occasions where you've tried. 246 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:56,716 Right. I don't think I've tried it enough. 247 00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:58,549 I think you have, because clearly at this point, 248 00:10:58,549 --> 00:10:59,939 you should've realized that it doesn't work anywhere else. 249 00:11:00,341 --> 00:11:02,522 There's one out in Franklin Mills i haven't tried. 250 00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:03,375 It's not gonna work there either, okay? 251 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,205 Let's move past it. I'm trying to make a point here. 252 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,509 When you come to Dave & Buster's, you spend your real money, 253 00:11:07,544 --> 00:11:10,145 but you leave with Dave & Buster's money, okay? 254 00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:11,777 That gives you incentive to come back to Dave & Buster's 255 00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,951 'cause it's the only place where your money works. 256 00:11:13,986 --> 00:11:17,607 I think that's brilliant. Now, maybe we should take a page out of D&B's book. 257 00:11:17,642 --> 00:11:19,993 And try the card at the "Friday's out" in the northeast... 258 00:11:20,028 --> 00:11:23,006 No, you son of a bitch. We're way past that at this point. 259 00:11:23,006 --> 00:11:24,993 I don't understand why you can't grasp that point. 260 00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:27,327 It doesn't work anywhere else. It's only gonna work here. 261 00:11:27,525 --> 00:11:30,371 All right, I'm- I'm getting all worked up, okay? Let's just, let's... 262 00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:33,405 I'm proposing that we print our own currency, okay? 263 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,223 - Make our own money?! - Yes! 264 00:11:35,224 --> 00:11:39,287 And we call it Paddy's dollars. Now, we distribute that out to people for free initially, 265 00:11:39,322 --> 00:11:41,780 and then they become customers and then they bring in new customers. 266 00:11:41,815 --> 00:11:45,717 And then once they're in, they have to use real dollars to buy Paddy's dollars. 267 00:11:45,752 --> 00:11:48,854 That's exactly right. And that stimulates our own internal economy. 268 00:11:48,889 --> 00:11:51,631 Yeah, dude, that's a great plan! And then afterwards, we'll go out to fox chase 269 00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:53,380 - and use the power card at that friday's out there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 270 00:11:53,661 --> 00:11:55,593 No, we won't. You can, though. 271 00:12:00,189 --> 00:12:05,707 So, look, mom, um, I kind of come on some hard times with the economy and everything. 272 00:12:05,742 --> 00:12:08,920 And i got no place to go and everything. So... 273 00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:11,528 I was figuring maybe I should move back into my old room 274 00:12:11,528 --> 00:12:13,385 for a little while till i get back up on my feet. 275 00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:17,363 Well, i don't think that's gonna work out, Charlie. 276 00:12:17,398 --> 00:12:20,203 - Why not? - I had to sublet your room to uncle Jack. 277 00:12:20,238 --> 00:12:22,325 Is that why he's here? 278 00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:24,260 Hey, Charlie. 279 00:12:24,261 --> 00:12:27,619 Times are tough. And the economy is so bad. 280 00:12:27,654 --> 00:12:31,088 I need to get more money in in order to make the house payments. 281 00:12:31,123 --> 00:12:34,288 What are you talking about? You don't make house payments. You own this house. 282 00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,000 You've owned it for years. 283 00:12:35,201 --> 00:12:37,568 Mom, that's crazy. You collect social security! 284 00:12:37,603 --> 00:12:39,395 I need money. 285 00:12:39,396 --> 00:12:41,837 You can share the room with me, Charlie. 286 00:12:41,872 --> 00:12:45,036 - That's a great idea! - That is not a great idea. 287 00:12:45,071 --> 00:12:49,177 - Well, why not? - It'll be fine. You and me palling around­... 288 00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:52,045 getting nuts, doing crazy, fun things. 289 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:56,327 I'm not doing any kind of things that you want me to do with you, uncle Jack, you know? 290 00:12:56,362 --> 00:12:59,079 No, it's-it's stuff that relatives do. 291 00:12:59,114 --> 00:13:02,683 - We'll share the room, Charlie. - I don't want to share a room with you, dude, 292 00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:05,472 because i-i will spend the whole night wide awake, 293 00:13:05,472 --> 00:13:07,813 just like when I was a kid and you tried to share my room. 294 00:13:07,836 --> 00:13:09,975 You ever seen wrestling on televesion? 295 00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:14,279 I'm well aware of what wrestling is. It's just not what uncles do to their nephews. 296 00:13:15,941 --> 00:13:17,386 I'm out of here. 297 00:13:17,387 --> 00:13:20,062 - Hey, I'll call you later. - I know you will. 298 00:13:21,032 --> 00:13:24,224 - Just grab any knife? - Get the sharpest one in the kitchen. 299 00:13:25,209 --> 00:13:29,152 All right, now, when i cut through the shoe and make the sale, 300 00:13:29,187 --> 00:13:32,889 you suggest casually that we have a drink to celebrate. And... 301 00:13:32,924 --> 00:13:36,191 Then i drop a little wine on the carpet, grab the wet vac and then 302 00:13:36,226 --> 00:13:37,706 call it a deal, whatever. 303 00:13:37,707 --> 00:13:39,607 This is the best knife I own. 304 00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:43,757 All right. Well, that's the best you have. 305 00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:48,666 All right, now, pretend that this shoe is an unboned chicken. 306 00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:50,927 And you're gonna cook it tonight, make a tasty dinner. 307 00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:53,321 It's gonna smell all through the house like cooked chicken. 308 00:13:53,356 --> 00:13:54,813 Actually, i'm vegan. 309 00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:59,133 Okay, then pretend this shoe is whatever you people eat. 310 00:13:59,168 --> 00:14:01,618 - Maybe it is a shoe. - Nice one. 311 00:14:01,752 --> 00:14:04,322 Watch the way your knife cuts. 312 00:14:06,023 --> 00:14:07,735 Oh, it's just flopping around. 313 00:14:08,616 --> 00:14:11,286 It's, like, not even making a dent in the leather. 314 00:14:11,339 --> 00:14:14,550 This knife is a piece of crap. 315 00:14:15,078 --> 00:14:20,532 Now, take a look at our knife-- beautiful, pressed steel 316 00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:23,526 with a nice razor-sharp edge. 317 00:14:23,595 --> 00:14:29,562 Watch the way this knife blasts through this shoe with one motion. 318 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,743 Is this part of the whole...? 319 00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:38,054 I cut myself, oh! Oh, it's a deep cut! 320 00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:41,078 - I see your bones. - It's a deep cut! 321 00:14:41,118 --> 00:14:42,964 - I'll get you a towel! - Oh, Frank! 322 00:14:43,004 --> 00:14:45,661 It's okay, it's all right. I got band-aids in my bag. 323 00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:47,902 i just, I need your bathroom. 324 00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:50,816 - Okay, i need to just get my bag. - Okay. 325 00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:52,771 Okay. 326 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:56,605 - Is he gonna be okay, 'cause-'cause...? - Yeah, no, no. he's gonna be fine, Beth, 327 00:14:56,685 --> 00:14:59,598 don't worry. I tell you what, why don't you and i have a glass of wine, 328 00:14:59,678 --> 00:15:03,241 - just bring it down a little bit, huh? - I don't drink in the morning. 329 00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:05,339 Yeah, me neither. 330 00:15:06,212 --> 00:15:08,993 Oh, shoot. Oh! oh, i'm missing it. 331 00:15:09,073 --> 00:15:11,004 - Oh, no! - You're doing that on purpose. 332 00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,320 I'm trying to prove a point here, Beth, okay, hmm? 333 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,775 I'm gonna-- okay. I... 334 00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:20,294 Oh, boy. 335 00:15:27,999 --> 00:15:30,380 Goddamn it! 336 00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:32,898 These paddy's dollars look great, bro. 337 00:15:32,978 --> 00:15:34,699 Yeah. i'm really glad we went with the color. They pop! 338 00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:37,712 A little bit more expensive than I would've thought. But that's worth it, though. 339 00:15:37,792 --> 00:15:39,194 That's an old poor move. 340 00:15:39,274 --> 00:15:40,808 You take your money and you put it into something worth it, 341 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,800 you're not tacky. 342 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,555 See, by transferring all of our cash into these Paddy's dollars 343 00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:47,216 and then printing more of these babies than we ever had in cash, 344 00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:48,676 we've upped our value. 345 00:15:48,786 --> 00:15:50,276 Shit. 346 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,453 Ah, goddamn it. 347 00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:56,390 Full-blown shantytown. We're screwed. 348 00:15:56,795 --> 00:15:59,072 Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Dude! 349 00:15:59,721 --> 00:16:01,966 There could be some real opportunity in this. 350 00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:03,429 - Yeah? - Yeah, man. 351 00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:06,832 Think about this, dude. In recession times, what thrives more than anything else? 352 00:16:06,912 --> 00:16:08,839 - Prostitutes. - No-- well, yeah, 353 00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:10,738 - but that and bars. - Oh, and bars! 354 00:16:10,778 --> 00:16:12,464 Right, because people got to drown their sorrows. 355 00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,491 - Get drunk. - We own a bar!. 356 00:16:14,571 --> 00:16:18,322 So why don't we take these paddy's dollars and just distribute them amongst the shanties? 357 00:16:18,614 --> 00:16:21,336 - That way... - They buy the booze from us with the dollars. 358 00:16:21,416 --> 00:16:22,741 Right, and then they run out of booze, then they 359 00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,712 got to buy more paddy's dollars from us. 360 00:16:24,792 --> 00:16:27,486 Thus creating the self-sustaing economy we've been looking for. 361 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:28,926 It stimulates our economy. 362 00:16:29,006 --> 00:16:30,392 That's what Dave & Buster's does. 363 00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:32,143 Give me one up here. 364 00:16:32,555 --> 00:16:34,852 Who wants some free money, shanties? 365 00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:42,943 When people stop buying vacuum cleaners and knives door to door, 366 00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:44,885 it could mean only one thing, Deandra. 367 00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:47,619 That you blew all of my money on a very stupid idea? 368 00:16:47,699 --> 00:16:50,986 No. Good-bye recession, hello, depression. 369 00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:54,725 You're very lucky that you're with somebody as resilient as Frank Reynolds. 370 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:58,032 You tried to off yourself two times in the last 24 hours, Frank. 371 00:16:58,112 --> 00:17:00,637 Well, listen, this business partner of mine called. 372 00:17:00,677 --> 00:17:03,648 He's got a great plan. This is the man who's going to make us rich. 373 00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:04,950 - This is the man? - Yes. 374 00:17:04,952 --> 00:17:07,883 - This man lives in a cardboard box. - Times is tough.. 375 00:17:07,963 --> 00:17:09,416 Goddamn it. 376 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,228 Hey. 377 00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:14,239 - Thanks for getting down here so quick. - It's Charlie? 378 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:16,573 - Charlie! - Charlie is your new business partner? 379 00:17:16,653 --> 00:17:19,559 Yeah, well, what do you want? I mean, we're good in tight spots. 380 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,287 That's right. All right, you ready to do this? 381 00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:22,640 - You got it. - Okay, let's go. 382 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:23,652 You're the man with the plan. 383 00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:26,460 - Let's go. - Deandra, this is going to work. 384 00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:27,813 Here we go. 385 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,133 Look at that. 386 00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:31,732 - Feast your eyes. - There we go! 387 00:17:33,728 --> 00:17:35,107 What the hell is that? 388 00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:39,743 These are crabs. Fresh, local delaware runoff crabs. 389 00:17:39,788 --> 00:17:43,796 Those don't look anything like crabs. They look like sea scorpions. 390 00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:46,456 Isn't there some kind of, like, sewage runoff around here? 392 00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:50,735 you know, crabs is sewage-proof. 393 00:17:50,815 --> 00:17:53,831 And depression-proof. People got to eat. 394 00:17:53,911 --> 00:17:55,511 We're gonna sell these on the street. 395 00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:57,046 We're crab people now. 396 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,043 - Crab people. - We're crab people now? 397 00:17:59,317 --> 00:18:01,019 You want us to become crab people? 398 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:03,588 - That's your new business plan? - Yeah. 399 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,149 I'm getting a call. 400 00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:07,345 We'll live and die by the crab, Dee. 401 00:18:07,528 --> 00:18:09,708 We'll eat off the fat of the sea. 402 00:18:09,794 --> 00:18:11,935 Hey, will you help me toss some of these babies back, 403 00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:13,240 'cause legally we're not allowed to eat those. 404 00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:15,150 Oh, thank you very much. thank you... 405 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,818 Great news! Let's go, forget the crabs. 406 00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,576 Okay. 407 00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:22,571 - Nice doing business with you, huh? - All right, shanty, 408 00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:24,936 - enjoy it. - All right, enjoy yourselves. 409 00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:29,099 Hey, I think we made every single one of our paddy's dollars back, buddy. 410 00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:32,592 You're damn right. Thus creating the self-sustaing economy we've been looking for. 411 00:18:32,672 --> 00:18:34,576 - That's right. - How much fresh cash did we make? 412 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:36,364 Fresh cash? 413 00:18:36,565 --> 00:18:39,387 Uh, well, zero-- zero if you're talking about US currency. 414 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:41,925 People didn't really seem interested in spending any of that. 415 00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:45,197 That's okay. So, uh, so when they run out of the booze, they'll come back in 416 00:18:45,237 --> 00:18:46,924 and they'll have to buy more paddy's dollars. 417 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,226 - Right. - Keeping it moving. 418 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,546 That is assuming, of course, that they will come back here and drink. 419 00:18:50,626 --> 00:18:54,209 They will, they will, because we'll redistribute these to the shanties. 420 00:18:54,249 --> 00:18:55,650 Thus ensuring them coming back in 421 00:18:55,652 --> 00:18:57,240 keeping the money moving. 422 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,520 Well, no, but if we just redistribute these then people will continue to drink for free. 423 00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:03,104 - Okay. - How does this work, mac? 424 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,169 The money keeps moving in a circle. 425 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:08,702 But we don't have any money. All we have is this. 426 00:19:10,088 --> 00:19:11,569 - How does this work, dude? - I don't know. 427 00:19:11,649 --> 00:19:12,953 -I thought y... - I thought you... 428 00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,968 What?! i thought you were on top of this. 429 00:19:15,048 --> 00:19:16,286 You're the one that came up with the plan. 430 00:19:16,286 --> 00:19:17,121 I did... 431 00:19:17,163 --> 00:19:19,059 - Did I come up with this plan? - Last night, dude. 432 00:19:19,219 --> 00:19:22,249 - With the D&B power card. And the... - I blacked out. I blacked out that night. 433 00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:25,383 - Shit, dude, I've been following your lead. - Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit. 434 00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:30,368 Okay... Okay, we have no money and no inventory. There's still something we can do. 435 00:19:30,448 --> 00:19:31,990 That's still a business somehow. 436 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,365 How does D&B's do it? They've got a complicated system worked out, 437 00:19:34,405 --> 00:19:35,945 and I cannot begin to understand it. 438 00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:38,630 How does a self-sustaing economy work? 439 00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:41,266 I don't understand how the US economy works, 440 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,438 much less some sort of self-sustaining one. 441 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,368 I don't understand how finances work. 442 00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:49,312 Shots for everybody! The government is reimbursing me 443 00:19:49,392 --> 00:19:53,118 all the money I lost. I love this country. 444 00:19:53,198 --> 00:19:55,621 - Baby, i'm back. - Wait, you got a bailout? 445 00:19:55,701 --> 00:19:58,236 - Yeah, you know it, pal. - I got a bailout! 446 00:19:59,003 --> 00:20:01,870 Can you bail us out, Frank? 'Cause we're kind of screwed here. 447 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,128 I'll tell you what, let's discuss it over steaks and skee balls. 448 00:20:07,252 --> 00:20:09,379 - USA! USA! - USA! USA! 449 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,917 I love this country. 450 00:20:10,957 --> 00:20:12,784 - USA! USA! - USA! USA! 451 00:20:12,864 --> 00:20:15,455 - Crab meat... - Crab meat... 452 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,683 Uh, you guys don't think that you're going to Dave & Buster's, do you? 453 00:20:18,763 --> 00:20:20,163 What? 454 00:20:20,476 --> 00:20:23,760 www.addic7ed.com Created by mczolly