1
00:00:03,896 --> 00:00:05,128
FRANK: Charlie,
can I come in already?
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,563
CHARLIE:
Well, that depends, Frank.
3
00:00:06,565 --> 00:00:08,398
Are you done farting?
FRANK: No.
4
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,567
Well, then you're gonna keep
hanging your ass out the window
5
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:11,568
till you're
done, all right?
6
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:13,470
Look, I-I warned you.
7
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,105
You want to put slices of
rum ham on a Grilled Charlie?
8
00:00:15,107 --> 00:00:16,139
That's a stomach bomb.
9
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,240
It's too much for your system.
10
00:00:17,242 --> 00:00:18,909
Then make me
another one.
11
00:00:18,911 --> 00:00:20,744
If I'm gonna stick my ass out
the window, I'm gonna eat.
12
00:00:20,746 --> 00:00:22,579
Unbelievable.
All right, here we go.
13
00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,114
I feel like it's gonna be a week
14
00:00:24,116 --> 00:00:25,582
before your system
gets back to normal.
15
00:00:25,584 --> 00:00:26,583
Y-You can't just
eat whatever you...
16
00:00:26,585 --> 00:00:27,985
Charlie...!
17
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:29,653
(crashing, shattering)
18
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,421
Holy shit!
19
00:00:31,423 --> 00:00:32,456
Are you okay?!
20
00:00:32,458 --> 00:00:34,124
(grunting)
21
00:00:34,126 --> 00:00:36,593
Frank?!
22
00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:37,761
Hey, are you all right?
23
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:39,329
(groans)
24
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,431
(echoing):
Hey! Are you okay?
25
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:42,966
(groans)
26
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:44,668
(echoing):
Are you all right, man?
27
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,670
Frank!
28
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,372
Where are you going?!
29
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,997
MAC:
But I'm the one that
30
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,465
came up with the chickens
to contaminate the steaks.
31
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:17,334
I was the first one
to say that, right?
32
00:01:17,336 --> 00:01:18,802
I-I don't think so, no.
33
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,804
I don't think so.
You t... Are
you serious?
34
00:01:20,806 --> 00:01:22,806
No, I remember being
on the phone and...
Yeah, being totally serious.
35
00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:25,142
Dennis, Deandra!
36
00:01:25,144 --> 00:01:26,643
Yeah.
Uh...
What?
37
00:01:26,645 --> 00:01:28,011
No, I-I...
I-I feel like
I came up with it.
38
00:01:28,013 --> 00:01:29,312
It's me!
39
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:30,380
What, do you want
a goddamn medal?
40
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,982
Yeah, get out
of here, Frank.
41
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:33,350
We're right in the middle
of something very important.
42
00:01:33,352 --> 00:01:34,985
I was on the phone;
I came up with it.
43
00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,319
What are you talking about?
That never happened...
44
00:01:36,321 --> 00:01:37,988
Your mother's dead.
45
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:39,656
I thought I was the one that...
Yeah, we know she's dead.
46
00:01:39,658 --> 00:01:42,325
I think I was the one
that told you to make that call.
47
00:01:42,327 --> 00:01:43,693
I-I was just kidding.
48
00:01:43,695 --> 00:01:46,163
Uh, your mother's
not really dead.
49
00:01:46,165 --> 00:01:49,900
Uh, I dropped that bomb
to soften the blow.
50
00:01:50,836 --> 00:01:52,335
We're getting divorced.
51
00:01:52,337 --> 00:01:53,336
Wh-What's happening?
52
00:01:53,338 --> 00:01:54,504
Are you doing
a bit, Frank?
53
00:01:54,506 --> 00:01:55,505
You're not a funny guy.
It's not funny.
54
00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:56,506
Don't do bits.
They never play.
55
00:01:56,508 --> 00:01:57,908
Hey! Hey!
56
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,177
Oh, shit, man,
are you okay?
57
00:02:00,179 --> 00:02:01,344
And who might you be?
58
00:02:01,346 --> 00:02:02,512
Wh-What?!
59
00:02:02,514 --> 00:02:03,914
Uh-oh,
he's finally lost it.
60
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,182
Should we toss him
in a home?
61
00:02:05,184 --> 00:02:06,183
Yep.
I-I'll get the car.
62
00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:07,184
N-N-No, guys, guys.
63
00:02:07,186 --> 00:02:08,552
Frank fell
out my window.
64
00:02:08,554 --> 00:02:10,353
We had our, like,
fire escape taken off,
65
00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:12,556
and, dude, you, like, must
have hit your head real hard.
66
00:02:12,558 --> 00:02:15,559
(scoffs) Look, you seem
like a really nice kid,
67
00:02:15,561 --> 00:02:17,861
but my head is fine.
68
00:02:17,863 --> 00:02:19,396
Oh, my God!
(gasps)
Oh, shit!
69
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,864
MAC: Oh, my God.
That's horrific!
70
00:02:20,866 --> 00:02:22,699
Oh, I see skull!
71
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,034
CHARLIE:
Uh, okay, Frank.
72
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:26,036
Um, what day is it?
Wednesday.
73
00:02:26,038 --> 00:02:27,704
Yes.
Wrong, it's Tuesday.
74
00:02:27,706 --> 00:02:29,706
Is it?
Actually, no,
it's-it's Wednesday.
75
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:31,541
Yeah, he's right.
Did I lose a day?
76
00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:33,543
Yeah.
Okay, you know
what? I got one.
77
00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:35,912
Um, what is the capital
of Pennsylvania?
Philadelphia.
78
00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:37,747
Yes. No.
I don't think
that's right.
79
00:02:37,749 --> 00:02:39,216
Uh, is it Pittsburgh?
80
00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:40,884
Uh, at one point,
it was Philly.
81
00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,619
I'm pretty sure.
I don't think
they change it, Charlie.
82
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,388
MAC: All right, let's just,
let's ask something easier.
83
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:47,124
Who's the President
of the United States?
84
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,492
George Bush.
85
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,461
Nah, I was just kidding.
86
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:53,897
The real president of the
United States is Dick Cheney.
87
00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:55,732
He's pulling
all the strings.
88
00:02:55,734 --> 00:02:57,634
Ah, shit, Frank,
what year do you think it is?
89
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,669
2006.
90
00:03:01,907 --> 00:03:03,240
Oh, man.
Whoa.
Well, okay,
91
00:03:03,242 --> 00:03:04,407
so something clearly
happened to Frank
92
00:03:04,409 --> 00:03:06,243
when he fell out
of that window.
93
00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:08,245
I think what happened is
he went through the window,
94
00:03:08,247 --> 00:03:12,782
and the window seemed to be some
sort of portal to the year 2006.
95
00:03:12,784 --> 00:03:13,950
He has a concussion.
96
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,418
It's not 2006.
97
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:17,587
It's crazy, but stranger
things have happened.
98
00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:19,322
No, they haven't.
No, they haven't.
DENNIS: A-A-All right.
99
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,091
Guys, guys, guys.
100
00:03:21,093 --> 00:03:22,926
You remember ten years ago
when Frank first came back,
101
00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,761
and he wanted to, like, give
all his money away to charity
102
00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:26,329
and reconnect
with his kids and shit?
103
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,831
Right, then he started hanging
out with Mac and Charlie,
104
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,099
got a taste
of the bar lifestyle
105
00:03:29,101 --> 00:03:30,634
and decided he'd rather
live in squalor.
106
00:03:30,636 --> 00:03:34,771
Guys, we have an opportunity
to change history.
107
00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:37,107
Are you talking about taking all
his money and kicking him out?
108
00:03:37,109 --> 00:03:38,608
Of course that's what
I'm talking about.
109
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:39,609
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want to do that.
110
00:03:39,611 --> 00:03:40,844
I-I want to do that.
I'm in. Yeah, yeah.
111
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,112
We got to come up
with a plan here.
112
00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:43,980
What if Charlie and I take Frank
113
00:03:43,982 --> 00:03:47,617
to the strip club, like before,
so he keeps thinking it's 2006?
114
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:49,452
We can't repeat the same
mistakes of the past.
115
00:03:49,454 --> 00:03:50,787
'Cause that might
trigger his memories.
116
00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:52,155
In fact, keep Charlie
away from Frank.
117
00:03:52,157 --> 00:03:53,290
I mean, he's drawn to him
118
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:54,291
for some inexplicable reason.
119
00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:55,659
Dee, here's what we'll do.
120
00:03:55,661 --> 00:03:57,194
You and I will
actually reconnect
121
00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:59,129
with Frank this time
instead of rejecting him.
122
00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:00,797
Okay, we just got to figure out
a way to get him
123
00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:01,798
to write us
a check for that money.
124
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:02,966
You know what
we could do is
125
00:04:02,968 --> 00:04:04,167
we could do, like,
a Wyclef Jean thing
126
00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:05,669
and create
a charity for Haiti
127
00:04:05,671 --> 00:04:07,370
and then allegedly keep
all the money for ourselves.
128
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,206
By the time he figures out
what the hell's going on...
129
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,975
♪ We'll be gone till November,
we'll be gone till November ♪
130
00:04:11,977 --> 00:04:14,311
♪ And tell my baby
I'll be gone till November ♪
131
00:04:14,313 --> 00:04:16,012
(mumbling lyrics)
132
00:04:16,014 --> 00:04:17,814
♪ February, March, April, May ♪
133
00:04:17,816 --> 00:04:20,217
♪ June, July, August,
September... ♪
134
00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:22,185
You don't know the song.
You don't know the song.
135
00:04:22,187 --> 00:04:24,020
I didn't know the song.
There was a good bounce to it.
136
00:04:24,022 --> 00:04:25,789
All right, well, either
way, let's do that.
137
00:04:27,492 --> 00:04:30,193
(sighs)
138
00:04:30,195 --> 00:04:31,661
Guigino's.
139
00:04:31,663 --> 00:04:32,662
DEE:
Mm-hmm.
140
00:04:32,664 --> 00:04:33,830
This is a nice place.
141
00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:35,065
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
142
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,133
Fresh fish daily.
143
00:04:40,038 --> 00:04:41,538
How do you not have fish?
144
00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:43,340
Two can play at that game.
145
00:04:43,342 --> 00:04:44,941
Banging your sister
is perverted.
146
00:04:46,878 --> 00:04:48,411
We ever been here before?
147
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,412
No.
148
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,847
No, no...
149
00:04:50,849 --> 00:04:51,848
So, so, so...
150
00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,216
Catch me up.
151
00:04:53,218 --> 00:04:54,384
How's life?
152
00:04:54,386 --> 00:04:55,752
Uh, life's good, man.
153
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,187
Things have been,
uh, pretty good.
154
00:04:57,189 --> 00:04:58,255
I'm still working towards
becoming a veterinarian.
155
00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,256
Of course.
Mm-hmm.
156
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,690
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
157
00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:01,925
And I'm still working
toward my dreams
158
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,760
of becoming a
Broadway star.
159
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:07,030
Getting close, but just haven't
quite found my traction.
160
00:05:07,032 --> 00:05:08,398
Right.
FRANK:
That's okay.
161
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,866
You got time.
DEE: Yeah.
162
00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:11,234
Youse are young.
163
00:05:11,236 --> 00:05:13,203
You're what, 25, 26?
164
00:05:13,205 --> 00:05:14,938
Yeah.
165
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,940
Eh, give it a
few more years.
166
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,876
If it doesn't work
out, you move on.
(chuckles)
Mm-hmm.
167
00:05:19,878 --> 00:05:22,545
I mean, y-you don't want to be
almost 40 working at a bar.
168
00:05:22,547 --> 00:05:23,780
Right.
Nope.
169
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,048
No way.
170
00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:27,050
I know that I've
been a lousy dad,
171
00:05:27,052 --> 00:05:29,052
but there's only one
person to blame for that:
172
00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:30,553
your whore mother.
173
00:05:30,555 --> 00:05:32,055
Mm.
I don't like who
she turned me into.
174
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:35,458
The big house,
the big car.
175
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,894
I'm giving it all away.
176
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:39,262
To charity.
177
00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:43,300
Well, that is
a great idea.
178
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,235
I thought you'd give me
a lot of shit for that.
179
00:05:45,237 --> 00:05:47,070
Oh, no.
Man, who do you
think we are?
180
00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:49,639
Oh, my gosh.
No, we are super
into helping people in need
181
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,141
and poor people and...
Yeah. Y-Y-Yeah, y-yeah.
182
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:53,443
Dennis and I, we
work very closely
183
00:05:53,445 --> 00:05:54,911
with a charity that,
uh, that offers relief
184
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:56,146
for the Haiti disaster.
185
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,981
There was a
disaster in Haiti?
186
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,983
(stammering): Oh, oh, had
that not, that had not...
187
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,818
to d... was it...?
188
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,254
Yeah, I-I just got to look a
quick thing up on my phone if...
189
00:06:04,256 --> 00:06:05,488
DENNIS:
Um, s... Dad, uh...
190
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,489
Whoa, wh-wh-wh-wh-whoa.
191
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,490
What's that?
192
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,125
What is that?
My phone?
193
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:10,593
That's a phone?!
194
00:06:10,595 --> 00:06:12,329
I've never seen anything
like it in my life.
195
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:16,099
That's because...
I invented it.
196
00:06:16,101 --> 00:06:17,133
You invented that?
197
00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:18,168
Yep.
198
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:19,302
That is genius!
199
00:06:19,304 --> 00:06:21,104
Isn't it?
200
00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:23,473
Dennis, I always thought you'd
be the one to move out in front.
201
00:06:23,475 --> 00:06:24,941
No, it was her,
but it was her after me,
202
00:06:24,943 --> 00:06:26,943
because, um, she actually
came up with that
203
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:29,112
after I had already
invented this.
204
00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:31,448
You invented that?
205
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:33,450
Yeah, I invented this first,
and then she copied me.
206
00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:34,784
Well, you know what
I did? I upgraded it.
207
00:06:34,786 --> 00:06:36,186
I made it better.
Oh.
208
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,787
And I was worried
that you were gonna
209
00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:39,789
spend the rest of your
lives in that crap bar.
210
00:06:39,791 --> 00:06:41,157
(laughter)
211
00:06:41,159 --> 00:06:43,660
No, we're killing it.
212
00:06:43,662 --> 00:06:44,828
Well, here's to
your futures.
213
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:46,663
Hey, all right.
214
00:06:46,665 --> 00:06:47,797
(laughs)
215
00:06:47,799 --> 00:06:50,533
(laughing):
Oh, Dee, you bitch.
216
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,602
♪ ♪
217
00:06:55,307 --> 00:06:57,307
This is great,
Charlie.
218
00:06:57,309 --> 00:07:00,543
I am going to show you what life
could be like without Frank.
219
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,380
Yeah. Except the first time
we came here with Frank,
220
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,181
we brought home two
strippers, so...
221
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,516
Yeah, but he banged
both of them.
222
00:07:06,518 --> 00:07:07,984
Uh, true, yeah.
223
00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:09,185
This time,
you and I are gonna be
224
00:07:09,187 --> 00:07:10,653
the ones that bang
the strippers.
225
00:07:10,655 --> 00:07:12,489
Right. Well, why do
you want to bang them?
226
00:07:12,491 --> 00:07:14,057
Oh.
227
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,059
'Cause it's 2006, and
you're still into women.
228
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,060
(chuckles)
Crazy.
229
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,662
Huh?
You're not...
230
00:07:19,664 --> 00:07:21,898
You haven't become...
Just drop it,
just drop it, just drop it.
231
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,367
Yeah, I-I'll drop it.
Hey!
232
00:07:24,369 --> 00:07:26,403
Frankie, what's up, man?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing here?
233
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:28,004
I thought you were out
with your kids.
234
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:29,672
You mind if I sit down?
Yeah, absolutely not.
235
00:07:29,674 --> 00:07:31,007
Pop a squat, Frankie!
All right!
236
00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:32,041
Goddamn it, I-I...
237
00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:33,877
Oh, my God.
238
00:07:33,879 --> 00:07:35,345
You poor baby.
239
00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:36,713
What happened
to your head?
240
00:07:36,715 --> 00:07:38,181
Ooh.
241
00:07:38,183 --> 00:07:39,549
Eh, it's nothing--
just a little scratch.
242
00:07:39,551 --> 00:07:40,917
STRIPPER:
No, it looks infected.
243
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,519
FRANK:
It does?
244
00:07:42,521 --> 00:07:44,487
Maybe give you
a lap dance?
245
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,092
(laughing, chattering)
246
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,927
Whoa.
247
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,430
Make yourself at home!
Welcome to mi casa.
248
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:56,199
You got any booze?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah-- in
the bed, under the pillow.
249
00:07:56,201 --> 00:07:57,200
Oh, oh.
Oh, gosh.
250
00:07:57,202 --> 00:07:59,369
I love it;
it's so spacious.
251
00:07:59,371 --> 00:08:00,937
It's one goddamn room.
252
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,906
You have a steak knife
in your bed.
253
00:08:02,908 --> 00:08:04,741
Oh, well, that's
Frank's, uh...
254
00:08:04,743 --> 00:08:07,610
Um, that is my toe knife.
255
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,711
It's your what?
256
00:08:08,713 --> 00:08:10,547
Uh, that's my
t-toe knife.
257
00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:13,383
For, you know, digging
the scum out of my toes...
258
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:15,718
It's disgusting, disgusting.
...and cutting my nails off.
259
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,720
Y-You cut your toenails
with a knife?
260
00:08:17,722 --> 00:08:19,122
Yeah. Well, yeah.
He does.
261
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,123
I mean, it's, uh...
Gross.
262
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,624
...a cleaner cut, really.
263
00:08:23,595 --> 00:08:25,462
...scum out of my toenail.
264
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,230
Oh, botched toe!
265
00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:28,398
Frank, that is disgusting!
266
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,800
FRANK (echoing):
Toe knife.
267
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,902
Maybe I ought to try that.
268
00:08:32,904 --> 00:08:34,971
I don't think you should.
Can I talk to you outside
269
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,739
for a second?
Just one second. Thank you.
All right, all right.
270
00:08:36,741 --> 00:08:39,108
Man.
Dude, we have to stop
what's going on in there.
271
00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:40,944
Why? We're about to bang
a couple strippers.
272
00:08:40,946 --> 00:08:42,412
Don't you see?
We're making the same mistakes
273
00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:43,646
that we made
with Frank years ago.
274
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,081
Don't you understand?
275
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,950
He is on a bang path
straight to the waitress.
276
00:08:46,952 --> 00:08:49,419
Oh, shit. All right,
definitely want to avoid that.
277
00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:50,587
All right,
let's pull him.
278
00:08:50,589 --> 00:08:52,055
Okay, yeah.
Let's pull him out.
279
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:54,991
He locked us out.
280
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,426
He did?
Yes.
281
00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:58,495
So it is 2006.
282
00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:07,604
♪ I'll be gone till November,
I'll be gone till November ♪
283
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,305
♪ Yo, tell my girl
I'll be gone till November... ♪
284
00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,307
You know what,
say what you want about Wyclef;
285
00:09:11,309 --> 00:09:13,142
he may have stolen money
from his own people,
286
00:09:13,144 --> 00:09:14,944
but that man can write
a goddamn song.
Oh, nice.
287
00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,446
Right?
He's an excellent
songwriter.
288
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:17,780
And that is an
excellent song.
289
00:09:17,782 --> 00:09:19,282
Mm-hmm.
But, Dee, Dee, look.
290
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:20,850
I want to talk to you
about something, okay?
291
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,819
We have a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity here.
Yes.
292
00:09:22,821 --> 00:09:24,821
We have a real
second chance.
I know.
293
00:09:24,823 --> 00:09:26,823
S-So I want to talk to
you about our future.
Yes.
294
00:09:26,825 --> 00:09:28,625
Can we get into it?
Yes.
295
00:09:28,627 --> 00:09:29,792
All right, here, sit
down for a second.
Okay.
296
00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,327
'Cause in order
to do that,
297
00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:32,795
I think we're gonna
have to get real.
Okay.
298
00:09:32,797 --> 00:09:35,031
And I want to get very
real with you right now.
299
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,966
Yeah, go ahead.
Can I do that? Because I feel
like I'm almost coddling you.
300
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:39,202
Interesting.
But that's neither
here nor there.
301
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,538
I just want to get real with
you f-for a second, okay?
Yeah, go ahead.
302
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,639
So the acting thing.
303
00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:43,806
Mm-hmm.
It's done.
304
00:09:43,808 --> 00:09:45,975
But it's been done
for a long time.
305
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:47,977
I mean, you were
too old in 2006.
306
00:09:47,979 --> 00:09:49,512
You're way too old now.
307
00:09:49,514 --> 00:09:52,115
And you're bad at it.
308
00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,886
Thank you.
309
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,855
For your honesty.
Yeah, is it...
are you cool?
310
00:09:58,857 --> 00:10:01,324
Oh, so much do I appreciate
you for that.
Thank you.
311
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:02,692
Okay, good.
That must have
been hard for you.
312
00:10:02,694 --> 00:10:03,993
It was.
To say.
313
00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:05,995
Can I be honest with you?
I-I need you to.
314
00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:07,363
Right?
Right.
315
00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:09,699
Okay, so the
veterinarian thing.
Yeah.
316
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,535
I feel like the only reason
you wanted to be a vet
317
00:10:12,537 --> 00:10:14,237
was to keep the skins.
318
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,339
What?
319
00:10:16,341 --> 00:10:17,840
You want to keep
the skins, don't you?
320
00:10:17,842 --> 00:10:20,843
There's no denying the
skins are fascinating.
321
00:10:20,845 --> 00:10:22,679
It's the most fascinating
part of the animal.
322
00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:24,514
The skin of any animal is
the most fascinating part,
323
00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:26,049
but that's not why
I wanted to become...
324
00:10:26,051 --> 00:10:28,351
Also you're going bald.
I'm going bald?!
325
00:10:28,353 --> 00:10:30,687
What are you
talking about?!
Just in...
in the interest of being real.
326
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:33,690
Where in the hell am I
possibly going bald?!
In the back of your head...
327
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,024
There's no evidence of that.
There's quite a bit of ev...
328
00:10:35,026 --> 00:10:36,859
I'll get two mirrors;
I'll show it to you.
329
00:10:36,861 --> 00:10:38,728
Don't get mirrors, because...
You're not gonna find anything.
330
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:40,196
I see fat spilling
over the back of your pants
331
00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:41,531
on a pretty regular basis.
(stammers)
332
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:42,699
What the hell are
you talking about?!
333
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,367
I'm just trying
to let you know.
334
00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,735
And by the way,
there's no reason
335
00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:47,370
why a bald man
who enjoys skins
336
00:10:47,372 --> 00:10:49,038
who has a little bit of
extra something-something
337
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,707
around his belly can't be
a goddamn veterinarian!
338
00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,875
Okay, you know what, I can act!
You are a wrinkled bitch!
339
00:10:52,877 --> 00:10:54,410
I'm gonna tell you something,
my characters are good.
340
00:10:54,412 --> 00:10:55,712
Okay, let's stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
341
00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:57,914
I-I don't want to do
this with you, okay?
342
00:10:57,916 --> 00:10:59,549
Do you see what's
happening? We're...
343
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,584
We just jumped right back in;
we just leapt right back in.
344
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:02,919
Into our old routines.
Same old place.
345
00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:04,087
And I-I don't want
to do that, okay?
346
00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:06,222
'Cause... Let's
just focus here.
347
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:07,724
Here's what
we're gonna do.
348
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:09,392
We're gonna polish
off this wine.
Yeah.
349
00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:10,960
And then we're gonna open
up a new bottle of vino.
350
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,261
Ooh.
(chuckles)
351
00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:14,263
And let's talk about
our real futures.
352
00:11:14,265 --> 00:11:15,732
♪ I'll be gone
till November... ♪
353
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,734
To new beginnings.
354
00:11:17,736 --> 00:11:19,569
♪ And tell my girl, yo,
I'll be gone till... ♪
355
00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:21,204
(alarm rings)
356
00:11:27,245 --> 00:11:29,245
(groans)
357
00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:31,614
Dennis.
358
00:11:31,616 --> 00:11:33,449
Dennis, wake up.
359
00:11:33,451 --> 00:11:34,450
Aah.
360
00:11:34,452 --> 00:11:36,452
(groans)
361
00:11:36,454 --> 00:11:39,288
I'm up, I'm up,
I'm up.
362
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:41,290
Look what we did.
363
00:11:41,292 --> 00:11:43,359
(groans)
364
00:11:46,131 --> 00:11:47,497
Is that a crack pipe?
365
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:48,665
Yes.
366
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,099
No, no.
(groaning):
No.
367
00:11:50,101 --> 00:11:52,502
No, no, no.
368
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:55,338
How'd this happen again?
369
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,173
(groans)
370
00:11:57,175 --> 00:12:00,176
Well, it looks like we drank
everything in the entire world,
371
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,179
and then we went out
and bought some crack,
372
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,280
and we smoked it.
373
00:12:04,282 --> 00:12:05,682
Yeah, a-a-all right,
that's fine.
374
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,117
No, n-no, we just,
we... we slipped up.
375
00:12:08,119 --> 00:12:09,285
It's-it's not a big deal.
376
00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:10,453
Like, we'll... you know,
377
00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,288
we'll... pull
ourselves together,
378
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:13,656
and we'll, you know,
we'll get back on crack.
379
00:12:13,658 --> 00:12:15,658
I mean, on track.
380
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:18,027
Unless, um,
you have more crack.
381
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,462
No, Dennis, I don't
have more crack.
382
00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:20,863
No one in the
history of crack
383
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,799
has ever woken up in the
morning with more crack.
384
00:12:22,801 --> 00:12:25,168
(sighs) Okay, but if
I'm being honest with you,
385
00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:27,637
if I'm being very, very real,
386
00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,639
I need to be high
on crack cocaine right now.
387
00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:31,340
You know what we can do?
I've got a great idea.
388
00:12:31,342 --> 00:12:32,642
Once we get
Frank's money,
389
00:12:32,644 --> 00:12:33,876
we'll just take
all of that money
390
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,344
and put ourselves in rehab,
391
00:12:35,346 --> 00:12:36,312
'cause we're not gonna
stop smoking crack.
392
00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:37,814
It's all
I'm thinking about.
393
00:12:37,816 --> 00:12:39,148
All right, so we just
got to figure out
394
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:40,183
another way to
get some money.
395
00:12:40,185 --> 00:12:42,752
I have a idea.
396
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:46,689
Hi.
397
00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,524
I'm a recovering
crackhead,
398
00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:51,160
and this is my donkey-brained
sister that I take care of.
399
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:52,562
(hums)
400
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:53,863
I'd like some
welfare, please.
401
00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:55,865
You're a recovering
crack addict,
402
00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,835
and your sister has...
403
00:12:58,837 --> 00:13:00,670
the brains of a donkey?
404
00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,839
Mmm.
405
00:13:02,841 --> 00:13:04,841
We thought that you might
be a little bit skeptical,
406
00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:05,842
so we brought proof.
407
00:13:05,844 --> 00:13:07,276
Dee?
408
00:13:11,349 --> 00:13:16,185
Well, you clearly replaced the
name Frank with the name Dee,
409
00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:19,922
and you crossed out the word
"not" on this document.
410
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,925
Nevertheless, I do not know
what the hell this document is.
411
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,228
Well, that's... that's an
official State's, uh...
412
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:26,863
I'm gonna go ahead
and stop you.
413
00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:28,865
None of this
matters to me.
414
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:30,900
So I don't need
the whole song and dance.
415
00:13:30,902 --> 00:13:34,871
If you want welfare...
416
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:37,707
you'll just have to fill out
a bunch of this paperwork,
417
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:40,109
'cause I'm done
with this bullshit.
418
00:13:41,045 --> 00:13:42,278
This is good news.
419
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,946
This is great, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
420
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,281
I mean, times have
really changed.
They have, I know.
421
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,049
You just fill out
the paperwork now.
422
00:13:47,051 --> 00:13:49,085
You don't have to prove
anything, you know what I mean?
423
00:13:49,087 --> 00:13:51,254
You just get the money now.
Obama just gives you
the money; it's great.
424
00:13:51,256 --> 00:13:53,055
There's a lot of paperwork
to fill out, though.
Yeah, could you write faster?
425
00:13:53,057 --> 00:13:54,223
I need some more crack.
426
00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:55,224
I'm starting
to come down pretty hard.
427
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,559
Okay, listen, Dee,
428
00:13:56,561 --> 00:13:57,627
I'm writing as fast
as I can, okay?
429
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,595
I-I also want crack.
Sorry.
430
00:13:59,597 --> 00:14:01,631
I just don't get why we're
coming here to find a roommate.
431
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,466
You know, what about living
with the waitress, too?
432
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,901
The waitress is not going
to live with you.
433
00:14:04,903 --> 00:14:06,569
This is our only
option, okay?
434
00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:08,571
People in the welfare store
are in a pinch, so are you.
435
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:09,572
Yeah, that's
a good point.
436
00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:10,740
Uh...
437
00:14:10,742 --> 00:14:11,741
Wait.
438
00:14:11,743 --> 00:14:12,742
Is that Dennis and Dee?
439
00:14:12,744 --> 00:14:14,277
Hi.
440
00:14:14,279 --> 00:14:15,645
Hey, guys.
441
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,246
Wh-What are you
doing here?
442
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:18,447
Yeah, did you get Frank
to write the check?
443
00:14:18,449 --> 00:14:19,782
Dude, we're well on our way.
444
00:14:19,784 --> 00:14:21,417
(chuckles)
Yeah, but in the meantime,
445
00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:22,952
we came here because we need
some money to buy crack.
446
00:14:22,954 --> 00:14:24,287
You guys
are smoking crack again?
447
00:14:24,289 --> 00:14:25,588
It's not a big deal,
because, uh,
448
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,156
as soon as we get
that check from Frank,
449
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,424
we're just gonna zip right off
to a-a rehab program.
450
00:14:28,426 --> 00:14:29,425
Yeah, we'll get in rehab.
451
00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:30,927
You guys are
back on crack,
452
00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,929
Frank brought strippers
back to my place,
453
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:34,764
we're all bumping into each
other at the welfare store,
454
00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:37,099
and yet I'm the only person
who thinks it's 2006.
455
00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:38,467
♪ You, you got what I need... ♪
456
00:14:38,469 --> 00:14:40,303
Oh...
What?
457
00:14:40,305 --> 00:14:41,804
It's him!
It's him, everyone. Shut up.
458
00:14:41,806 --> 00:14:43,973
Oh, it's Frank. Shut up!
Okay? Shh.
459
00:14:43,975 --> 00:14:45,641
Hey, Frank. Daddy.
460
00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:47,844
Daddy!
Yeah.
Hi, how are you?
461
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,946
What's up?
462
00:14:49,948 --> 00:14:52,682
No shit. No shit!
463
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,283
Yes, we will be there
in just a few minutes.
464
00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:56,285
Okay, bye!
What is it, what do you...
465
00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:57,486
Oh, shit,
great news, guys.
466
00:14:57,488 --> 00:14:58,688
Great news.
No problem with the check.
467
00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,956
We just gotta meet
with his money man
468
00:14:59,958 --> 00:15:01,190
and he's just gonna
write it to us.
469
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:02,792
Big fat check for us.
Oh, my God, yes.
470
00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:04,126
We're going to see money man.
Get rid of that!
471
00:15:04,128 --> 00:15:05,628
All right.
Let's go get some crack!
472
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:07,129
Yeah.
I mean the check.
We're gonna...
473
00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:08,531
Right, yeah.
Get some crack.
474
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,799
(exhales)
475
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:11,200
Still need a
roommate, right?
476
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,468
Yeah, what about this guy?
477
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,803
Oh, come on, man.
478
00:15:13,805 --> 00:15:15,471
Don't just do
that, you know?
479
00:15:15,473 --> 00:15:17,573
Knew you were gonna do that.
Anyone else. Look at him.
480
00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:25,481
Mr. Reynolds. Lauren Kerwin.
We spoke earlier.
481
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:28,217
Hello, toots.
482
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,886
Hello.
(Frank cackles)
483
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,888
Yeah, so where's
Jer-Bear?
484
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,123
Mr. Doran?
485
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,826
Oh, um...
486
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:38,828
he-he passed away.
487
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:42,298
(laughing)
488
00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:44,734
He passed...
489
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,168
Jerry!
490
00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:48,504
Jerry, come on in here.
Don't give me that.
491
00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:50,506
Make your secretary
pull that bit on us.
492
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,074
Come on, Jerry.
493
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,844
Um, I'm not his secretary
and he's been dead for years.
494
00:15:54,846 --> 00:15:56,078
Really. So...
495
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,848
Uh... well, anyway,
496
00:15:58,850 --> 00:16:01,684
my kids turned me on
to an idea last night.
497
00:16:01,686 --> 00:16:03,552
Yeah.
All right, look, tell 'em
about your invention.
498
00:16:03,554 --> 00:16:05,755
Well, the charity that...
Huh?
499
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,524
Not the... not the charity.
The phone.
500
00:16:08,526 --> 00:16:10,359
The phone.
They're being modest.
501
00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:11,727
Tell her, show her
about the phone.
502
00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:14,430
Show the broad
the phone.
503
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,104
(exhales)
504
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,575
You goddamn bitch!
505
00:16:26,577 --> 00:16:28,711
You wouldn't know a good idea
if it smacked you in a tit!
506
00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:31,447
She's gonna be gone by 2007,
you mark my words!
507
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,782
DENNIS:
She's a stupid...
508
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,216
stupid idiot.
Yes, she's a dumb...
509
00:16:34,218 --> 00:16:35,217
dumb bitch.
A stupid moron.
510
00:16:35,219 --> 00:16:36,585
So, those people
in Haiti.
511
00:16:36,587 --> 00:16:38,054
Now we can help them
with the mon-- your money.
512
00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:40,723
No, no... Haiti?
Haiti's a lost cause.
513
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:42,558
You might as well sink
that goddamn island.
514
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:43,960
What are you talking about?
DEE: (gasps)
No, not a lost cause.
515
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,062
No, you said you wanted
to help poor people.
516
00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:47,730
I am gonna help
the poor people.
517
00:16:47,732 --> 00:16:50,132
I'm gonna help you,
because you are my children
518
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,801
and I gotta think
of your future.
519
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,269
W-What?
520
00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:54,737
This is for you.
521
00:16:54,739 --> 00:16:56,973
(gasps)
There you go.
522
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,908
(both inhale sharply)
Oh!
523
00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:00,643
Oh, that's a lot of zeroes!
Oh, Dee...
524
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,978
Yeah, that's a lot of zeroes.
525
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,312
Yeah. We will.
Oh, Daddy, we're gonna do
526
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,647
such good things
with this money.
Yes.
527
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:05,915
We're gonna help people,
we're gonna invent.
528
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:07,917
Let's do it now, though.
Let's move.
529
00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:09,251
Yeah, we'll go deposit it.
Invent, invent,
invent, invent, right.
530
00:17:09,253 --> 00:17:10,753
Okay, very good decision.
Thank you!
531
00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:11,988
Do it right away,
do it right away.
532
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,255
(Dee giggles)
You're a great dad.
533
00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:14,256
Oh, Daddy!
You're a great dad.
534
00:17:14,258 --> 00:17:15,358
You're right.
535
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:19,328
(echoing):
You are crackheads, children.
536
00:17:21,299 --> 00:17:23,499
MAC: I want to thank you,
gentlemen, for your interest
537
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,101
in the roommate
position.
538
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,168
You're both
excellent candidates.
539
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,436
We have Edgar
540
00:17:27,438 --> 00:17:29,338
and Trevor,
541
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,507
who is an aspiring
jazz musician.
542
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:32,942
That's interesting,
543
00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:35,311
because Charlie is actually
a musician himself.
544
00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:37,680
Mm, don't really care
for jazz, though.
545
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,448
A lot of
unnecessary notes.
546
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:40,616
(door opens)
FRANK:
Hey!
547
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:42,952
Got room for one more?
548
00:17:42,954 --> 00:17:44,320
Frank, what are
you doing here?
549
00:17:44,322 --> 00:17:45,621
Charlie, the other night
550
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:47,023
was the greatest night
of my life.
551
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,492
I used to live like that,
in filth and squalor.
552
00:17:49,494 --> 00:17:50,826
I want to do it again.
553
00:17:50,828 --> 00:17:52,161
Absolutely not.
We are not doing this again.
554
00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:53,329
You know what?
I'm gonna consider it.
555
00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,463
Gah...
Frank,
have a seat.
556
00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:55,798
Oh, Charlie.
Yeah, yeah,
557
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,799
have a seat,
all right.
Yeah, yeah.
558
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:58,000
All right,
let's begin.
559
00:17:58,002 --> 00:18:00,636
Okay, uh, first topic
is cat food.
560
00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:01,871
You want to lead
with that?
Mm-hmm.
561
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,672
Cat food.
Yeah.
562
00:18:03,674 --> 00:18:05,674
Okay.
You find a can of cat
food in the apartment.
563
00:18:05,676 --> 00:18:07,510
What do you
do with it?
564
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:09,678
I don't do
nothing with it.
565
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,981
Don't touch my shit,
566
00:18:11,983 --> 00:18:14,984
I don't touch your shit.
567
00:18:14,986 --> 00:18:16,352
Great.
Okay.
568
00:18:16,354 --> 00:18:17,820
He-he doesn't
touch your shit...
Yeah.
569
00:18:17,822 --> 00:18:19,388
That was very clear.
...and then you don't...
570
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,323
So eloquent.
Very clear.
What are you writing?
571
00:18:21,325 --> 00:18:22,992
I filled in half
the can of cat food.
572
00:18:22,994 --> 00:18:24,660
It's sort of a
half-full answer.
Great.
573
00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:27,329
Trevor, your position
on the matter?
574
00:18:27,331 --> 00:18:29,398
I'd ask if the
can is yours,
575
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,033
and, uh, if so,
576
00:18:31,035 --> 00:18:33,035
would you like me
to feed the cat?
577
00:18:33,037 --> 00:18:35,704
Oh...
Oh, see,
now he assumes
578
00:18:35,706 --> 00:18:37,206
that you have a cat.
Right.
579
00:18:37,208 --> 00:18:38,841
Smart.
He doesn't have a cat.
580
00:18:38,843 --> 00:18:40,342
CHARLIE:
Yeah, so...
Oh.
581
00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:41,577
Yeah.
582
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,845
Kind of a waste
to-to feed a cat
583
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:44,180
that's not mine.
584
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:47,216
For me, it depends
on how hungry I was.
585
00:18:47,218 --> 00:18:48,918
Or sleepy.
586
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,252
Oh, very interesting.
587
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,587
Couple points for
Frank right there.
588
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,055
W-Why?
Well, I don't understand.
589
00:18:53,057 --> 00:18:54,757
He gets points for...
590
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,693
Yeah, eating it
and then...
Well, if I was hungry
591
00:18:57,695 --> 00:18:59,562
and the cat food was there,
I'd eat it.
And if you
were sleepy...
592
00:18:59,564 --> 00:19:00,863
If I couldn't go to sleep...
You would...
593
00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:02,198
I would eat the cat food
and go to sleep.
594
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,532
'Cause it might
make you go to sleep!
595
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:04,767
All right.
In what scenario
596
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,202
do you not eat
the cat food?
597
00:19:06,204 --> 00:19:07,870
I would always eat the cat food.
Yeah, no.
598
00:19:07,872 --> 00:19:09,405
Exactly right.
See, now there's a man
599
00:19:09,407 --> 00:19:10,739
who's-who's thinking
on his feet.
600
00:19:10,741 --> 00:19:12,541
MAC: Trevor is
a great roommate.
601
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:14,210
He's a nice guy;
he doesn't have
602
00:19:14,212 --> 00:19:16,078
the experience, though.
Experience? In what?!
603
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,047
Well, all these good things.
Let's keep talking.
604
00:19:18,049 --> 00:19:20,549
Hey, I'm sorry,
am I... too late?
Oh.
605
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,051
CHARLIE:
Wow, hi!
606
00:19:22,053 --> 00:19:23,552
What-what are you
doing here?
607
00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:25,121
I called her, actually.
I left her a message
608
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,755
'cause I thought she might need
a place to live.
609
00:19:26,757 --> 00:19:29,258
The last couple of years
have been pretty rough on me,
610
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:31,293
and now I'm living
in a women's shelter, so...
611
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,895
Oh...
Yeah, I figured that.
'Cause she's the worst.
612
00:19:32,897 --> 00:19:34,296
Is the apartment
still available or not?
613
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,931
Well, yeah, it's
definitely available.
614
00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:37,299
Great.
Yes!
615
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,567
Oh, I've brokered a deal!
616
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,903
Oh, no, come on, Charlie.
617
00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,571
I-I'm sorry, Frank,
but, you know,
618
00:19:42,573 --> 00:19:44,073
I'm not gonna give
up an opportunity
619
00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:45,307
to have the waitress
as a roommate.
620
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,775
A roommate?
N-n-n... no, no.
621
00:19:46,777 --> 00:19:48,410
No, no, you did not say that.
You did not say
622
00:19:48,412 --> 00:19:49,578
he would still
be living here.
623
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,113
MAC: That's true,
I did not say that,
624
00:19:51,115 --> 00:19:52,982
because I didn't think
you would come if I did.
625
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,783
Yeah, well, you're goddamn right
I wouldn't have come.
626
00:19:54,785 --> 00:19:56,418
I am not living with Charlie.
Are you kidding?
627
00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,487
I would rather live
on the streets.
628
00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,588
You'd rather live
on the streets?
Yeah.
629
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:00,789
What? Ow!
630
00:20:00,791 --> 00:20:02,424
Ow, my God!
What are you doing?
631
00:20:02,426 --> 00:20:03,792
Put me down!
What the hell
are you doing?
632
00:20:03,794 --> 00:20:05,127
Charlie, what
are you doing?
Ow!
633
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:07,263
I was gonna throw her
out the window
634
00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,165
and send her
back to 2006!
You were gonna
throw me out the window?
635
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,599
What the hell
is wrong with you?!
CHARLIE:
It's a time portal!
636
00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:12,635
Back in time!
We could start over again!
637
00:20:12,637 --> 00:20:15,171
(arguing continues)
This is really good.
638
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,776
(echoing):
This is ham soaked in rum.
639
00:20:20,778 --> 00:20:21,844
Rum ham, rum ham.
640
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,778
...and make me another.
641
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:24,346
Rum ham!
642
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,147
Who wants rum ham?
643
00:20:25,149 --> 00:20:26,315
(screaming)
644
00:20:26,317 --> 00:20:27,216
Charlie...!
645
00:20:29,453 --> 00:20:31,353
You are such a psycho.
The window is a time portal
646
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,122
to 2006.
What is he
talking about?
647
00:20:33,124 --> 00:20:35,124
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
648
00:20:35,126 --> 00:20:37,693
What the hell's everybody doing
in my apartment?
649
00:20:41,465 --> 00:20:42,798
We having a gang bang?
650
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,133
Oh, my God. Get...
651
00:20:44,135 --> 00:20:45,367
Get the hell
out of my way.
652
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,002
Welcome back,
Frankie!
653
00:20:47,004 --> 00:20:48,304
(laughing)
654
00:20:48,306 --> 00:20:49,538
Oh, the farts, man.
655
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,839
That's good.
Oh. Oh, the fart.
656
00:20:50,841 --> 00:20:52,808
MAN:
Yeah, sorry,
657
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:54,710
I can't cash this check.
658
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,679
Why? I mean,
I know the number's really,
659
00:20:56,681 --> 00:20:58,347
really big, but the check
is real. Are you sure you...
660
00:20:58,349 --> 00:21:00,049
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's a real check.
661
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:01,050
No, it's outdated.
662
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,318
No, he just wrote it yesterday.
663
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,154
No, it is clearly
dated 2006.
664
00:21:05,156 --> 00:21:07,189
♪ Oh, baby, you... ♪
665
00:21:07,191 --> 00:21:08,991
Goddamn it.
Son of a bitch.
666
00:21:08,993 --> 00:21:12,161
♪ Got what I need ♪
667
00:21:12,163 --> 00:21:14,830
♪ But you say
he's just a friend ♪
668
00:21:14,832 --> 00:21:16,999
♪ But you say he's just
a friend ♪
669
00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:20,169
♪ Oh, baby, you ♪
670
00:21:20,171 --> 00:21:23,172
♪ Got what I need ♪
671
00:21:23,174 --> 00:21:26,041
♪ But you say
he's just a friend ♪
672
00:21:26,043 --> 00:21:28,711
♪ But you say he's just
a friend ♪
673
00:21:28,713 --> 00:21:31,213
♪ So I took Blah Blah's word
for it at this time ♪
674
00:21:31,215 --> 00:21:35,050
♪ I said just havin' a friend
couldn't be no crime ♪
675
00:21:35,052 --> 00:21:37,519
♪ 'Cause I have friends
and that's a fact ♪
676
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:40,356
♪ Like Agnes, Agatha,
Germaine and Jack ♪
677
00:21:40,358 --> 00:21:43,225
♪ Forget about that,
let's go into the story ♪
678
00:21:43,227 --> 00:21:46,262
♪ About a girl named Blah
Blah Blah that adored me... ♪
679
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,033
(trumpet playing off-key)
680
00:21:51,035 --> 00:21:52,201
Brown.