1
00:00:02,177 --> 00:00:05,881
CHARLIE: Holy shit! Holy
shit, that is steep.
2
00:00:06,001 --> 00:00:07,835
Trust me, this is
the best way to learn.
3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,219
CHARLIE:
See, this is why I don't like
4
00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:10,254
leaving Philly, man.
This is nuts.
5
00:00:10,339 --> 00:00:11,555
You're gonna be fine, man.
6
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,307
The mountain is a
majestical place
7
00:00:13,342 --> 00:00:15,309
where you push your limits and
you maximize your potential.
8
00:00:15,344 --> 00:00:18,011
No, the mountain is a place
where you party, man,
9
00:00:18,063 --> 00:00:20,981
have fun. That's what it's all about.
Yeah, like those '80s movies.
10
00:00:21,016 --> 00:00:23,317
Yeah, but we're not in a movie. I mean, we're
gonna get hurt. We're not gonna get hurt.
11
00:00:23,352 --> 00:00:25,792
For some reason, the rules are
just different on the mountain.
12
00:00:25,855 --> 00:00:28,906
The rules for what? Everything, dude.
You've seen those '80s movies.
13
00:00:28,991 --> 00:00:30,908
What do I do with my hands? How do I ski?
Well, you're supposed
14
00:00:30,993 --> 00:00:34,077
to have poles. Uh... You know what,
hold on to these guys for balance.
15
00:00:34,163 --> 00:00:35,529
These are glass. Yeah.
16
00:00:35,581 --> 00:00:37,182
And don't break 'em, bitch.
What is this,
17
00:00:37,199 --> 00:00:39,867
a double black diamond?
I wish it was a triple black.
18
00:00:39,919 --> 00:00:42,252
Dudes, let's shred.
19
00:00:42,338 --> 00:00:43,871
♪
♪
(wind whistling)
20
00:00:50,296 --> 00:00:51,795
♪ ♪
21
00:01:06,529 --> 00:01:07,895
♪ I remember ♪
22
00:01:07,947 --> 00:01:10,531
♪ One girl ♪
23
00:01:10,566 --> 00:01:11,982
♪ Saw her again ♪
24
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:14,417
♪ In a magazine ♪
25
00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:17,661
♪ Front cover ♪
26
00:01:17,747 --> 00:01:19,880
♪ Big star ♪
27
00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:21,682
♪ Showing things ♪
28
00:01:21,751 --> 00:01:23,334
♪ That I'd never seen ♪
29
00:01:23,419 --> 00:01:25,553
♪ Well, maybe... ♪
30
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:27,423
(whooping)
31
00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:29,209
Whoo, yeah!
32
00:01:29,261 --> 00:01:30,760
Still got it, baby!
33
00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:32,545
Rip city!
34
00:01:32,631 --> 00:01:34,047
Wonder how Charlie's doing.
35
00:01:34,132 --> 00:01:35,682
Oh, here he comes.
36
00:01:35,717 --> 00:01:38,885
♪
♪
(yelling)
37
00:01:40,856 --> 00:01:42,722
DEE:
Whoa! Whoa!
38
00:01:43,975 --> 00:01:45,225
Uh...
39
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,442
(laughs)
40
00:01:46,528 --> 00:01:47,944
Yeah...!
41
00:01:48,029 --> 00:01:49,729
(cheering, whooping)
42
00:01:49,814 --> 00:01:52,098
♪ ♪
43
00:02:15,096 --> 00:02:16,999
MAN (over P.A.): Another
beautiful day at Alpine Ridge.
44
00:02:17,196 --> 00:02:19,449
End of the season
is right around the corner,
45
00:02:19,569 --> 00:02:21,452
so get those turns in
while you can,
46
00:02:21,538 --> 00:02:24,372
and don't forget to sign up
for the big race this Sunday,
47
00:02:24,407 --> 00:02:26,958
which will determine
the best skier on the mountain.
48
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:28,910
CHARLIE: That was totally insane.
I mean, I can't believe
49
00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:30,495
you guys can ski like that.
Hmm?
50
00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:32,330
It's just nuts.
I'm not doing it again, man.
51
00:02:32,415 --> 00:02:33,965
What are you talking about?
It's so dangerous.
52
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:36,251
No. You did a great job, man.
Hey, look, is your body hurt?
53
00:02:36,303 --> 00:02:37,969
No.
You okay?
54
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:39,814
Yeah. That's 'cause it's
mountain rules, man.
55
00:02:39,890 --> 00:02:41,639
I don't get that, though.
I just feel like I got lucky.
56
00:02:41,725 --> 00:02:43,892
Nah. You just need to learn to use
your edges a little bit more.
57
00:02:43,927 --> 00:02:45,810
Learn to turn... DEE:
Right down the mountain!
58
00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:48,062
Après-ski!
Let's get our drink on!
59
00:02:48,098 --> 00:02:49,764
No, I don't think I'm
gonna be doing that.
60
00:02:49,816 --> 00:02:51,766
I'm gonna get a sensible meal,
head back to my room,
61
00:02:51,851 --> 00:02:53,401
log in my times,
62
00:02:53,436 --> 00:02:55,436
chart my progress,
'cause I'm gonna win.
63
00:02:55,522 --> 00:02:57,071
Win what?
64
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:58,156
At skiing.
MAN: Oh, hey.
65
00:02:58,241 --> 00:02:59,741
What's shakin', brother?
66
00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:01,492
Oh, what's shakin'?
Well, I'll tell you
67
00:03:01,578 --> 00:03:03,945
what's shakin'--
these skis, quite literally.
68
00:03:03,997 --> 00:03:06,581
Now, I need these things waxed
and sharpened by 8:00 a.m.
69
00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:08,199
I want to make first tracks.
70
00:03:08,285 --> 00:03:09,667
No problemo.
Anything else?
71
00:03:09,753 --> 00:03:11,419
You guys need helmets?
72
00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:13,171
Uh, I'll take a helmet.
While you're back there,
73
00:03:13,256 --> 00:03:16,040
could you slap a sticker on the
side of mine that says "pussy"?
74
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:19,177
Yeah, I feel you, babe,
but those are the rules.
75
00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:20,929
Whatever, dude. Probably
what makes skiing so fun
76
00:03:20,964 --> 00:03:23,431
is that your brains could
get bashed in, in any moment.
77
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:24,632
Mm-hmm.
Yeah,
78
00:03:24,718 --> 00:03:26,184
it didn't used
to always be this way.
79
00:03:26,269 --> 00:03:28,436
This used to be Party Mountain.
80
00:03:28,471 --> 00:03:30,438
Hot babes, cold brews.
And now I hear some
81
00:03:30,473 --> 00:03:33,107
corporate stooge wants to turn
this place into a private resort
82
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:36,444
for rich CEOs. They can't
do that to Party Mountain.
83
00:03:36,479 --> 00:03:38,479
It's not called Party Mountain.
It's called Alpine Ridge.
84
00:03:38,565 --> 00:03:40,648
There's one of those
yuppie vultures now.
85
00:03:42,202 --> 00:03:43,701
MAC:
Don't worry.
86
00:03:43,787 --> 00:03:45,153
We got this covered.
87
00:03:47,324 --> 00:03:50,408
Show this fat-cat asshole
what's what!
88
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:51,542
Eat this, bitch!
89
00:03:51,628 --> 00:03:53,127
(laughing)
MAC: Oh, shit.
90
00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:54,829
What'd you do that for?
DEE: Oh, sorry, Frank.
91
00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:56,161
We thought you were
some jerk-off
92
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,799
who bought the mountain.
93
00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,584
I am the jerk-off
who bought the mountain.
94
00:03:59,669 --> 00:04:00,635
What?!
I'm turning it
95
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,837
into a members-only resort
96
00:04:02,889 --> 00:04:06,841
for millionaires to plow
their trophy whores in private.
97
00:04:06,926 --> 00:04:09,010
Whoa! That sounds
amazing, Frank.
98
00:04:09,062 --> 00:04:11,095
I'm in. I'm in.
What are you talking about?
99
00:04:11,181 --> 00:04:12,563
And ruin Party Mountain?
100
00:04:12,649 --> 00:04:13,982
MAC: You know, who cares
about your stupid plans?
101
00:04:14,017 --> 00:04:16,351
Let's go rage, Dee.
Hang on a second.
102
00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:17,819
I-I'm, like, so lost.
103
00:04:17,854 --> 00:04:20,355
So, uh, who do I go with
in this situation?
104
00:04:20,407 --> 00:04:22,490
Well, that depends, Charlie.
You could go drink cheap beer
105
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:25,026
amongst swine and savages,
like you would on any other day,
106
00:04:25,111 --> 00:04:27,495
or... you could get the most
out of this mountain.
107
00:04:27,530 --> 00:04:29,497
And you could get
the most out of yourself
108
00:04:29,532 --> 00:04:31,949
by joining an elite class
of athletes and gentlemen alike.
109
00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:33,368
Right, Frank?
Yes.
110
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:35,253
Huh. That sounds kind of cool.
111
00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:38,039
Yeah. All right, you guys go--
why should I go with you?
112
00:04:38,091 --> 00:04:39,540
Go with them.
Who cares?
113
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,125
We're here for two days.
114
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,380
You guys it is!
All right.
115
00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:47,715
♪ ♪
116
00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:50,385
Hey-yo!
117
00:04:50,437 --> 00:04:52,804
Hey, man.
Remember us from the ski shop?
118
00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:54,355
Ah, the party guys!
119
00:04:54,391 --> 00:04:55,106
Hey!
Yeah!
120
00:04:55,191 --> 00:04:56,024
Come on in.
121
00:04:56,059 --> 00:04:57,141
Yeah!
Yeah!
122
00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:59,394
Awesome. Awesome.
123
00:04:59,446 --> 00:05:01,396
Well...
looks like you guys had
124
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:03,231
a real shit-kicker
last night, huh?
125
00:05:03,316 --> 00:05:04,449
Rager!
126
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,617
Oh, oh, the cans.
127
00:05:06,703 --> 00:05:10,738
No, no, we're just recycling
to help pay the rent.
128
00:05:10,824 --> 00:05:12,040
Oh.
Mm.
129
00:05:12,075 --> 00:05:14,042
That's my roommate, Turkey.
130
00:05:14,077 --> 00:05:16,544
We call him Turkey, 'cause his
favorite drink is Wild Turkey.
131
00:05:16,579 --> 00:05:17,662
Awesome! Yes!
Oh, badass!
132
00:05:17,747 --> 00:05:19,047
Like your suit, too.
133
00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:20,748
What are you, coming
from a Gatsby party?
134
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:22,383
No, I was in court all day.
135
00:05:22,419 --> 00:05:24,502
I was trying to win back
custody of my daughter.
136
00:05:24,587 --> 00:05:26,304
Oh.
Mm.
137
00:05:26,389 --> 00:05:27,638
(chuckles): That's a
bit of a downer. Yeah.
138
00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:29,724
Yeah, pretty much.
139
00:05:29,759 --> 00:05:32,226
Hey. Hey, Roach. Roach,
come meet some people.
140
00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:34,395
Who stole my goddamn burrito?
141
00:05:34,431 --> 00:05:36,681
No, it's there, Roach.
I just moved it to make room
142
00:05:36,766 --> 00:05:38,516
for my coleslaw. Look.
143
00:05:38,601 --> 00:05:40,401
Did you mess with it?
144
00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:42,770
Did you come in it?
145
00:05:44,407 --> 00:05:47,075
Did you come in my burrito?!
146
00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:48,743
I didn't come in your burrito!
147
00:05:48,778 --> 00:05:50,278
I wouldn't do that to you!
148
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,083
He's a little squirrelly
149
00:05:55,118 --> 00:05:56,617
from the concussions.
150
00:05:56,669 --> 00:05:58,703
Like I said,
no helmets back in the day.
151
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:03,424
Guys, I got to admit,
this is, uh...
152
00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:06,627
it's not as much of a party vibe
as it is a, uh...
153
00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:08,296
A pathetic vibe.
Yeah.
154
00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:09,630
MAC (chuckles):
Yeah, I mean,
155
00:06:09,682 --> 00:06:11,883
come on, this used to be
Party Mountain,
156
00:06:11,968 --> 00:06:13,684
you know, and...
and Babe Manor,
157
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,720
that's the capital
of Party Mountain.
158
00:06:15,805 --> 00:06:18,272
Yeah. When was the last time
you even had a babe in here?
159
00:06:18,308 --> 00:06:21,726
Oh, uh... my daughter stopped by
about six weeks ago.
160
00:06:21,811 --> 00:06:24,395
Served me a court summons.
I say count it.
161
00:06:24,481 --> 00:06:26,121
No, don't. Don't count it.
Oh, guys, guys,
162
00:06:26,149 --> 00:06:27,815
guys, guys, don't you
miss the old days,
163
00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,567
when you were
the kings of this mountain?
164
00:06:29,652 --> 00:06:32,787
You used to rip sweet powder,
then come home and crush brews.
165
00:06:32,822 --> 00:06:34,155
I do.
166
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,540
Let's take back this mountain!
167
00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:36,824
Why don't you guys dig deep
168
00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:38,159
and show me those
inner party animals.
169
00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:39,494
Let's crush some brews!
170
00:06:39,546 --> 00:06:41,295
Let's empty some cans!
171
00:06:41,331 --> 00:06:42,964
Yeah! Whoo!
Yeah!
172
00:06:42,999 --> 00:06:44,165
Hey, hey, hey!
173
00:06:44,217 --> 00:06:46,334
Rent money!
No, no.
174
00:06:46,419 --> 00:06:47,718
No, no, no, no, no.
Whoa, no, no.
175
00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:48,970
Drink 'em.
Drink 'em.
176
00:06:49,005 --> 00:06:50,888
Oh, yeah,
it's been so long, I forgot.
177
00:06:50,974 --> 00:06:52,340
Let's drink 'em,
178
00:06:52,425 --> 00:06:54,175
Whoo!
then recycle!
179
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,343
Yeah!
180
00:06:55,395 --> 00:06:56,344
Sure. Yeah.
Okay.
181
00:06:57,847 --> 00:07:00,314
♪ ♪
182
00:07:02,185 --> 00:07:05,820
FRANK:
2,000 acres of private powder,
183
00:07:05,855 --> 00:07:08,990
high-speed lifts,
five-star lodging,
184
00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:11,492
and a state-of-the-art spa.
185
00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:16,164
Snow Palace.
186
00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:18,199
Well, Frank,
it's... marvelous.
187
00:07:18,284 --> 00:07:20,284
Thank you. There's only
one thing missing.
188
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,253
What's that?
189
00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:24,705
The Dennis Reynolds Ski Academy.
CHARLIE: Could be a...
190
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:27,208
a good idea
to get a model of that.
191
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,793
What are you doing?
Hmm?
192
00:07:28,878 --> 00:07:30,211
What are you doing,
eating a tree?
193
00:07:30,263 --> 00:07:31,879
Yeah, I thought
this was made out of candy.
194
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,214
It's a plastic tree, Charlie.
195
00:07:33,299 --> 00:07:34,599
It's not made out of candy.
196
00:07:34,684 --> 00:07:36,467
You said
that this was a candy model.
197
00:07:36,553 --> 00:07:38,853
I never said it was a candy model.
I believe I heard
198
00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,938
you mention it was a
model made out of candy.
199
00:07:41,024 --> 00:07:42,223
FRANK: Well, let's just
focus on the banquet
200
00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:44,225
that I'm having tomorrow night
201
00:07:44,277 --> 00:07:47,311
to entice local investors.
202
00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:48,779
It'd be a good idea
to get a model of the banquet.
203
00:07:48,865 --> 00:07:50,398
We could make that candy.
204
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:52,233
I'd like to get a
visual on that banquet.
205
00:07:52,318 --> 00:07:54,702
And we may as well make it candy.
It should be candy.
206
00:07:54,737 --> 00:07:57,371
All right, look, forget about the model,
all right? Let's not talk about the model.
207
00:07:57,407 --> 00:08:00,408
The only model
that you should know is Tatiana.
208
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,889
Tatiana, come in here.
209
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,913
Meet Tatiana.
210
00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:08,499
She came all the way
from Bulgaria
211
00:08:08,585 --> 00:08:11,135
to hand-deliver her finest
212
00:08:11,221 --> 00:08:12,920
caviar.
213
00:08:12,972 --> 00:08:14,672
Nicely done, Frank.
214
00:08:14,757 --> 00:08:17,508
She'll be a fitting reward
for me after I win the big race.
215
00:08:17,594 --> 00:08:19,227
Until then,
216
00:08:19,262 --> 00:08:21,646
Tatiana,
I want you to clean yourself,
217
00:08:21,731 --> 00:08:24,565
for I will enter you hard
and deep,
218
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:28,486
and it will last for as long
or as short as I please.
219
00:08:28,571 --> 00:08:31,105
But you will be clean.
220
00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:34,942
Only when you are clean
will you know my power.
221
00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:36,777
(cheering,
music playing in distance)
222
00:08:36,829 --> 00:08:39,113
What the hell is that?
223
00:08:39,165 --> 00:08:41,916
It sounds like a party.
224
00:08:41,951 --> 00:08:45,286
(Kenny Loggins' "Footloose"
playing)
225
00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:50,508
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
226
00:08:50,593 --> 00:08:52,460
(whooping) Yeah! Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
227
00:08:52,512 --> 00:08:55,880
This is so great. I can't thank
you enough. I feel alive again.
228
00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:58,633
And look at all the cans. We're
gonna be rich! You got to drop it
229
00:08:58,718 --> 00:09:00,601
with the cans, all right? Nobody
cares about the cans. Really. Yep.
230
00:09:00,637 --> 00:09:02,637
Oh, okay, well, what about...
231
00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:04,305
these cans?
Oh! Oh, my God!
232
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:06,691
You can't do that!
You can't do that.
233
00:09:06,776 --> 00:09:09,527
Though they don't seem to mind. They
look like they're really enjoying it.
234
00:09:09,612 --> 00:09:10,778
Yeah, mountain rules, baby!
235
00:09:10,813 --> 00:09:13,481
Everybody get your tits out!
236
00:09:13,533 --> 00:09:15,616
(cheering)
Hell yes!
237
00:09:15,652 --> 00:09:17,652
He just said, "Take
your tits out," Yeah.
238
00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:20,488
and they all just took their tits out.
Yeah, I'm gonna keep mine in,
239
00:09:20,573 --> 00:09:22,323
just for now.
(music stops)
240
00:09:25,044 --> 00:09:27,828
Party's over, burnout.
Whoops.
241
00:09:27,914 --> 00:09:29,630
Frank Reynolds.
242
00:09:29,666 --> 00:09:30,998
Wow.
243
00:09:31,084 --> 00:09:32,583
It's been...
244
00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:34,669
30 years to the day.
245
00:09:34,721 --> 00:09:36,470
How they hanging, Drisko?
246
00:09:36,506 --> 00:09:39,674
Uh, I lost one of 'em.
Prostate thing. You know.
247
00:09:39,726 --> 00:09:42,510
Yeah, yeah, me, too. It's
still bouncing around in there,
248
00:09:42,595 --> 00:09:44,979
but it don't do nothing.
I'm gonna stop this.
249
00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:47,231
You guys know each other?
We skied together.
250
00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:50,151
This mountain wasn't big enough
for both of us.
251
00:09:50,186 --> 00:09:53,020
Loser of the big race
was banned for 30 years.
252
00:09:53,106 --> 00:09:55,489
Looks like old Frank here
let his mouth write a check
253
00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:58,609
his ass couldn't cash.
(crowd oohing)
254
00:09:58,695 --> 00:10:00,695
Huh.
255
00:10:00,747 --> 00:10:03,698
Well, I just wrote
another check.
256
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,584
To buy the mountain.
(crowd groaning)
257
00:10:06,669 --> 00:10:09,337
How 'bout we race
for the mountain?
258
00:10:09,372 --> 00:10:12,873
Or are you scared you'll lose?
(oohing)
259
00:10:12,959 --> 00:10:16,293
I don't race no more.
260
00:10:16,379 --> 00:10:19,263
I let my son race for me.
261
00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:20,931
Oh...!
262
00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:22,717
Really?
263
00:10:22,802 --> 00:10:24,385
Your son, huh?
264
00:10:24,437 --> 00:10:25,803
Don't think you can beat me?
265
00:10:25,888 --> 00:10:28,105
Oh, I'll beat you.
266
00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:30,725
You better go enjoy your party
while it lasts.
267
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:33,611
It's gonna be your last one.
268
00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,896
Burnout.
269
00:10:35,982 --> 00:10:38,699
(cackles)
270
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:46,039
MAN (over P.A.): Last day
to squeeze in some turns
271
00:10:46,124 --> 00:10:48,708
before tomorrow's big race.
On a side note,
272
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,680
it's good to see Frank Reynolds
back on the hill.
273
00:10:50,712 --> 00:10:53,232
We'll see if he can patch things
up with old rival, Dave Drisko.
274
00:10:53,395 --> 00:10:54,868
But I wouldn't count on it.
275
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,731
Yo, hey, Dennis, did you just hear that?
What?
276
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,117
The-the P.A. announcement.
What-what was that?
277
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,452
Well, there's a lot of people
on this mountain, Charlie.
278
00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:04,454
Everybody's gotta stay informed.
Yeah, but that guy was, like, saying
279
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,072
a bunch of, like, really
personal information about us.
280
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:08,575
Like, how does he know that?
Right. That's how it works.
281
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,577
Why's he talking about us? There's,
like, hundreds of people out here.
282
00:11:10,662 --> 00:11:12,462
Well, we're the most important
thing that's happening right now.
283
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:14,414
What? Look, I-I think
I got something
284
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:17,834
that's gonna clear this all up
for you. Meet my race team.
285
00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:21,421
Where'd these guys come from?
286
00:11:21,507 --> 00:11:23,223
Switzerland?
287
00:11:23,258 --> 00:11:25,592
Yeah, but they came here and
they're racing with us?
288
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,427
I don't... I-I don't
understand that at all.
289
00:11:27,513 --> 00:11:29,262
Well, I needed somebody
to be behind me.
290
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,931
I mean, this guy's my...
kind of my captain,
291
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:32,766
and these guys are my goons,
you know? If I need 'em
292
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,401
to do something for me,
back me up, you know,
293
00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:36,102
if I'm getting into some...
And... they just
294
00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:37,437
showed up and they're
racing with you?
295
00:11:37,523 --> 00:11:39,272
Yeah.
296
00:11:39,358 --> 00:11:41,107
All right. No
more questions.
297
00:11:41,193 --> 00:11:43,860
Okay, good. All right. Uh, yeah, I-I...
Okay. (scoffs)
298
00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:45,779
All right, now, listen up, guys.
299
00:11:45,864 --> 00:11:47,414
Tomorrow's the big race.
300
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:51,084
And anything less than first
place will not be tolerated.
301
00:11:51,119 --> 00:11:53,003
In fact, it'll be punished.
302
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,173
But, remember,
I want you to have fun.
303
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:59,426
But not if it means you're not
gonna get first place.
304
00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,428
'Cause
I'll-I'll punish you.
305
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:04,598
All right, now go limber up, and
I'll-I'll meet you at the chair.
306
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:06,967
Let's go, guys.
March, march, march.
307
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:10,103
Wow. Uh,
I got to hand it to you,
308
00:12:10,138 --> 00:12:12,272
looks like you got
a pretty good team.
309
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:14,858
I think so, too. Yeah, yeah. Uh,
look, I don't... I don't get
310
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,561
anything that's happening.
So, uh, I'm out,
311
00:12:17,646 --> 00:12:19,312
you know what I mean? And maybe
we should drink some beer,
312
00:12:19,398 --> 00:12:20,814
eat some snow, and just...
313
00:12:20,899 --> 00:12:23,200
(bottle shatters)
What the hell, man?
314
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,901
I'm disappointed in you.
315
00:12:24,987 --> 00:12:26,987
I thought you were a champion.
316
00:12:27,072 --> 00:12:29,823
Why? You showed me some
real stuff out there, guy.
317
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,708
I was falling. You were
falling, but you were fast.
318
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,793
But I crashed into some tables.
319
00:12:33,829 --> 00:12:35,829
Crashing and exploding is all
part of the learning curve.
320
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,297
I could turn you
into a champion,
321
00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:39,165
but that's clearly
not what you want.
322
00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:41,968
You want to just be a burnout and
a loser like those other guys.
323
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:43,220
Dude, I don't even
understand you, man.
324
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:44,304
Just, like, take it easy...
325
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:45,460
Where are those coming from?
326
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,173
I'm out, dude.
327
00:12:47,259 --> 00:12:49,676
Like, it's crazy to me.
328
00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:51,177
I'm gonna hang out
with Mac and Dee
329
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,013
and see if I can
figure them out, man...
330
00:12:53,098 --> 00:12:55,515
Oh, yeah, yeah. Go hang with
those other two burnout losers.
331
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,267
Yeah, go ahead. You know
what your problem is, buddy?
332
00:12:57,352 --> 00:12:59,653
You got no allegiance.
We're here for two days!
333
00:12:59,688 --> 00:13:02,072
MAN (over P.A.): Look like Charlie
Kelly's walking off the mountain
334
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,074
and out of the big race,
ladies and gentlemen.
335
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,076
He knows my name!
336
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,161
He knows my name!
337
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,164
DRISKO:
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
338
00:13:13,035 --> 00:13:14,417
Take a look.
339
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,836
Oh, wow!
340
00:13:16,872 --> 00:13:18,622
Can you see through the wall? Yeah.
Yeah, you can see right through.
341
00:13:18,707 --> 00:13:21,124
Okay, I think I'm getting it.
Yeah. Yeah? Okay.
342
00:13:21,209 --> 00:13:25,095
- Hey! I heard your guys' voices. What are
you guys doing in here? - DEE and MAC: Hey!
343
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,700
We are in the middle of a prank
war with Frank and Dennis. Yeah.
344
00:13:27,716 --> 00:13:29,432
All right, nice. What's
the prank? What's the prank?
345
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:30,800
We're drilling a hole
in the women's shower
346
00:13:30,886 --> 00:13:33,053
so we can look at 'em naked.
Yeah.
347
00:13:33,138 --> 00:13:36,556
(laughing) Why? What-what does that
have to do with Frank and Dennis?
348
00:13:36,642 --> 00:13:38,475
I don't know. I don't know.
Well, nothing, really.
349
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,027
It's just a warm-up prank to
get the juices flowing. Yeah!
350
00:13:41,063 --> 00:13:42,946
(chuckling)
Warm-up. We're warming up.
351
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,898
I don't want to be a bummer,
but I kind of
352
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:47,567
don't get how spying
on naked, unaware women
353
00:13:47,653 --> 00:13:49,819
is a prank at all.
MAC: Me, either.
354
00:13:49,905 --> 00:13:51,738
Me, either. Me, either.
Well, the real prank
355
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,790
DEE: Mm-hmm. is when I jam
my dick through that hole
356
00:13:53,825 --> 00:13:55,575
and yell, "Special
delivery!"
357
00:13:55,661 --> 00:13:57,961
Oh, dude, I don't think so.
CHARLIE: Oh, no.
358
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,213
You can't do that, man. You'd get in a
lot of trouble for something like that.
359
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:01,798
That's, like... Yeah.
Maybe we can just
360
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,967
do something that doesn't
involve naked women.
361
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:06,636
Just... You know, 'cause
that's not fun for me.
362
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:08,254
How 'bout if I show you my dick?
363
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,339
Why would I want that?
364
00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:11,174
Oh, okay, okay, it's a prank
365
00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:13,760
if you don't want to see it
but he shows you anyway.
366
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:16,513
This guy gets it. It's gonna be hilarious.
I think I get it.
367
00:14:16,598 --> 00:14:19,182
I'm gonna get myself hard,
and I will show you what I mean.
368
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:20,817
Hold on a sec. Oh. Oh.
369
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,736
(grunting)
370
00:14:25,941 --> 00:14:28,858
Oh, you bastard! You know what,
if you guys are already hard,
371
00:14:28,944 --> 00:14:31,911
just go ahead of me and
I'll-I'll just circle back.
372
00:14:31,947 --> 00:14:34,447
Oh, God.
373
00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,253
(Rick Springfield's
"Jessie's Girl" playing)
374
00:14:39,287 --> 00:14:42,622
♪ Jessie is a friend ♪
375
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:46,509
♪ Yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine ♪
376
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,378
♪ But lately
something's changed ♪
377
00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:50,130
♪ It ain't hard to define ♪
378
00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:52,515
♪ Jessie's got himself a girl ♪
CHARLIE: Shit.
379
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,517
♪ And I want to make her mine ♪
380
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:56,853
♪ And she's watching him
with those eyes ♪
381
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,305
♪ And she's loving him
with that body ♪
382
00:14:59,391 --> 00:15:00,890
♪ I just know it ♪
383
00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,308
♪ Yeah, and he's
holding her... ♪
384
00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:04,694
Hello, Charlie.
385
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:07,814
Oh, my God. Uh, I'm so sorry,
I didn't mean to spy.
386
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,200
I was just walking by;
I'm not a Peeping Tom.
387
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,985
Oh, Charlie, I do not mind.
388
00:15:12,070 --> 00:15:14,120
We are on the mountain.
389
00:15:14,156 --> 00:15:16,122
(chuckles): Yeah.
What does that mean?
390
00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:17,657
Everyone keeps saying,
"We're on the mountain,"
391
00:15:17,743 --> 00:15:19,626
but I-I don't get it,
you know what I mean?
392
00:15:19,661 --> 00:15:21,161
Look, where I come
from, you know,
393
00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:22,996
jamming your dick through
a hole in the wall,
394
00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:24,330
that-that's assault,
that's a felony,
395
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:26,299
and, uh, it's just plain wrong.
396
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:27,333
Something bothering you,
Charlie?
397
00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:29,219
You do not like my breasts?
398
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:32,305
Uh, no, no, your breasts...
your breasts are great.
399
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:35,175
Do you want to jump in with me
in the hot tub now?
400
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:36,476
♪ ♪
401
00:15:36,511 --> 00:15:39,179
Yeah. You know,
um... Yeah. Yeah.
402
00:15:39,264 --> 00:15:41,181
I'm gonna stop complaining
about the mountain.
403
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,400
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna let
the mountain work for me.
404
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,601
Now we're talking.
405
00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,352
(laughing):
My! Here we go.
406
00:15:46,438 --> 00:15:48,822
♪ You know, I wish that I had
Jessie's girl ♪
407
00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:51,658
♪ I wish that
I had Jessie's girl ♪
408
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:56,112
♪ Where can I find
a woman like that? ♪
409
00:15:56,198 --> 00:15:59,699
♪ Like Jessie's girl ♪
410
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,619
♪ I wish that
I had Jessie's girl ♪
411
00:16:02,704 --> 00:16:04,954
♪ ♪
412
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,623
♪ Where can I find a woman ♪
413
00:16:07,876 --> 00:16:09,592
♪ Where can I find ♪
414
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,795
♪ A woman like that? ♪
415
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,714
(playing jazz melody)
416
00:16:23,576 --> 00:16:25,827
MAN (over P.A.):
Welcome to the annual big race.
417
00:16:26,394 --> 00:16:28,260
Who will take home
the top prize?
418
00:16:28,346 --> 00:16:30,429
Local free spirit Dave Drisko...
419
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:32,014
(loud cheering)
420
00:16:32,099 --> 00:16:33,566
...or fierce new competitor
Dennis Reynolds?
421
00:16:33,651 --> 00:16:35,100
(crowd jeering)
422
00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:37,653
The stakes are high
because the loser today
423
00:16:37,688 --> 00:16:39,855
is walking off the mountain
for 30 years.
424
00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:42,858
Do you realize how important
this race is, Dennis?
425
00:16:42,944 --> 00:16:45,027
Well, yeah, 'cause he just said
how important it is.
426
00:16:45,079 --> 00:16:46,695
I hope you got your bags packed.
427
00:16:46,781 --> 00:16:48,197
I'm gonna get rid of you
428
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:49,832
once and for all,
Frank Reynolds.
429
00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:51,533
I'm gonna save Party Mountain
430
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:54,003
and bring back the
glorious good old days.
431
00:16:54,038 --> 00:16:54,954
MAN:
Freeze! Police!
432
00:16:57,675 --> 00:17:00,042
David Drisko,
you're under arrest.
433
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:01,677
MAC:
Oh, shit!
434
00:17:01,712 --> 00:17:03,379
They framed Drisko
so he couldn't do
435
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:04,880
the big race!
Oh, come on!
436
00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,715
This man has committed
a litany of sexual assaults.
437
00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:08,717
His semen was recovered
from crime scenes
438
00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:10,552
all over the mountain.
439
00:17:10,605 --> 00:17:12,021
Let's go, pal.
440
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:13,555
Lose the hat.
441
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:17,059
(gasps, groans, laughter)
442
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:19,228
This guy might not be as
cool as we thought he was.
443
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,813
Even his awesome hair
is bullshit.
444
00:17:20,898 --> 00:17:22,481
You forgot one charge.
What's that?
445
00:17:22,566 --> 00:17:24,233
Assaulting an officer!
446
00:17:24,318 --> 00:17:26,652
Never stop partying!
447
00:17:26,737 --> 00:17:27,569
Oh!
448
00:17:31,626 --> 00:17:33,242
That'll do. You know? Let
them keep thumping ass.
449
00:17:33,294 --> 00:17:34,454
He probably deserves it.
Yeah.
450
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:36,912
Never stop partying.
451
00:17:36,998 --> 00:17:38,881
Never stop partying!
452
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,582
So...
453
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,552
which one of you losers wants
to win a silver medal?
454
00:17:43,587 --> 00:17:45,554
Ugh. Not me--
I got blasted last night.
455
00:17:45,589 --> 00:17:47,423
I'm so sick. I don't
feel good, either.
456
00:17:47,508 --> 00:17:48,757
I'd also like to remove myself
457
00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,643
from the sexual predator team.
458
00:17:50,728 --> 00:17:52,177
(over P.A.):
Well, I guess that does it.
459
00:17:52,263 --> 00:17:54,763
The winner by default
of the annual big race is...
460
00:17:54,849 --> 00:17:56,432
CHARLIE:
Not so fast!
461
00:17:56,517 --> 00:17:57,850
(crowd oohing and aahing)
462
00:17:57,935 --> 00:17:59,768
(chuckles)
463
00:17:59,854 --> 00:18:01,320
This is good.
464
00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:03,656
So you gonna race for them?
465
00:18:03,741 --> 00:18:05,574
No, Dennis, I'm gonna
race for everyone.
466
00:18:05,609 --> 00:18:07,776
I want to race for the people.
467
00:18:07,828 --> 00:18:09,828
(whooping, cheering) You see,
last night Tatiana taught me
468
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,447
all about Communism.
469
00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:13,782
Cold, hard winters, gross soups.
470
00:18:13,868 --> 00:18:16,368
She also taught me
a lot about sex.
471
00:18:16,454 --> 00:18:18,087
Sweet sex, amazing sex,
472
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:20,122
a lot of sex,
Jacuzzi sex, Dennis!
473
00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:22,291
♪ Jessie's girl... ♪
474
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:23,459
♪ ♪
475
00:18:23,511 --> 00:18:24,927
It was amazing.
476
00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:27,012
So I get it now--
I like the mountain.
477
00:18:27,098 --> 00:18:28,464
I understand the rules.
478
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:31,967
And I'm gonna shred.
479
00:18:32,019 --> 00:18:34,303
Well...
480
00:18:34,388 --> 00:18:36,472
this ought to be rich.
481
00:18:37,808 --> 00:18:39,058
(chuckles)
482
00:18:39,143 --> 00:18:40,809
(cackling)
483
00:18:40,895 --> 00:18:43,228
(continues cackling)
484
00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:47,649
(mocking):
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
485
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:50,152
♪ ♪
486
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:09,004
(cheering, whooping)
487
00:19:09,056 --> 00:19:10,639
♪ ♪
488
00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:19,481
He's-he's getting destroyed.
489
00:19:30,661 --> 00:19:32,661
(loud crack)
490
00:19:32,696 --> 00:19:33,779
CROWD:
Oh!
491
00:19:33,864 --> 00:19:35,864
Oh!
492
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,583
My ankles are broken!
493
00:19:37,668 --> 00:19:38,617
(yells)
494
00:19:38,702 --> 00:19:42,588
My ankles are broken for sure!
495
00:19:42,673 --> 00:19:43,872
His ankles are broken!
496
00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:46,091
He has broken his ankles!
497
00:19:46,177 --> 00:19:47,709
Oh, they're surely broken!
498
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:49,128
Charlie can still win!
499
00:19:49,213 --> 00:19:50,379
(cheering)
Go, Charlie!
500
00:19:50,431 --> 00:19:52,798
MAC:
Come on, Charlie!
501
00:19:52,883 --> 00:19:55,184
Little faster! Come on!
A little faster, bud.
502
00:19:55,219 --> 00:19:57,136
DEE:
Straighten out!
503
00:19:57,221 --> 00:19:58,937
(grunting)
504
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,389
No! No!
No! No!
505
00:20:00,474 --> 00:20:02,775
(fierce yell)
506
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:03,976
Yeah!
Ah, shit!
507
00:20:04,061 --> 00:20:05,444
Okay.
508
00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:06,729
DENNIS: I won!
DEE: All right.
509
00:20:06,730 --> 00:20:08,697
The mountain is ours, Frank!
510
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,032
(laughing)
511
00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:12,618
Uh... not exactly.
512
00:20:12,703 --> 00:20:13,986
Uh...
513
00:20:14,071 --> 00:20:16,071
actually, uh...
the whole Snow Palace thing
514
00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:18,073
was, uh, all for show.
515
00:20:18,159 --> 00:20:20,125
(groans)
Huh?
516
00:20:20,211 --> 00:20:22,795
I needed to distract the local
environmentalist groups
517
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,581
while I fracked the mountain.
518
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:28,383
Wh-Wh... What?!
You fracked the mountain?
519
00:20:28,419 --> 00:20:30,219
Yeah. Yeah,
the banquet, the race--
520
00:20:30,254 --> 00:20:31,887
it was all set up.
521
00:20:31,922 --> 00:20:33,806
It was just a diversion,
it was...
522
00:20:33,891 --> 00:20:37,092
a distraction, because
I wanted to get into this hill
523
00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:39,845
and suck out
its natural resources.
524
00:20:39,930 --> 00:20:42,481
So all this here was
just one big setup?
525
00:20:42,566 --> 00:20:44,900
Yeah.
I hired the hookers,
526
00:20:44,935 --> 00:20:47,486
so you could rip their tops off.
That makes sense.
527
00:20:47,571 --> 00:20:49,938
Oh... That makes a lot of sense.
528
00:20:50,024 --> 00:20:52,491
So what do we do now?
I'm good. You want to...
529
00:20:52,576 --> 00:20:54,096
you want to stick
around, it's okay. No.
530
00:20:54,111 --> 00:20:55,694
It'd be good to go back to
Philly, right? I mean...
531
00:20:55,779 --> 00:20:57,246
I'm pretty tired.
It was quite a weekend.
532
00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:58,664
Honestly, I don't even
like skiing that much.
533
00:20:58,749 --> 00:21:01,366
(groaning): I-I need to go see a doctor.
534
00:21:01,452 --> 00:21:03,252
Yeah, I should probably see a
doctor, too, actually, I guess,
535
00:21:03,287 --> 00:21:04,753
if Tatiana was a hooker.
Oh, yeah.
536
00:21:04,788 --> 00:21:06,088
Oh, God, gross. Yeah.
That's not good.
537
00:21:06,123 --> 00:21:08,123
(groans)
538
00:21:08,175 --> 00:21:10,125
MAN (over P.A.):
Well, folks, you heard it.
539
00:21:10,211 --> 00:21:12,461
Frank fracked the mountain,
and it looks like
540
00:21:12,513 --> 00:21:14,847
we'll all be out of jobs.
DENNIS: Oh... God!
541
00:21:14,932 --> 00:21:16,682
So, did you even hire that guy?
542
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,635
You know, Charlie, I have
no idea who that guy is.
543
00:21:20,687 --> 00:21:24,721
Huh. I guess some things really
are different on the mountain.
544
00:21:25,306 --> 00:21:27,189
Yeah.
545
00:21:34,318 --> 00:21:36,068
♪ Uh-huh ♪
546
00:21:41,742 --> 00:21:43,458
♪ Whoo! ♪