1 00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:04,036 [ Mac ] You're such a dildo, dude. [ Dennis ] Thanks, dude. 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,605 Thanks. That's a good way to start the day. 3 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,508 Is that soy veggie health drink supposed to erase the damage... 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,642 you did to your liver last night? 5 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:14,179 Is that coffee gonna help you forget that elephant you slept with last night? 6 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,548 Oh, come on. You don't have to be so judgmental. 7 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,617 She was gross, dude. She wasn't that gross, all right? 8 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:23,222 If you lowered your standards a bit, you'd get laid more. Give me a sip of this. 9 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,056 No! I just wanna try it. 10 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:27,126 You do not get to taste my delicious healthy drink after making fun of it. 11 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:31,563 Why not? Just give it to me. 'Cause I don't know what kind of diseases that girl had. 12 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,499 She doesn't have any diseases! 13 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,368 Dude, she was really gross. Guys! 14 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:40,239 We got a real serious problem. There's been a B&E, dude. 15 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,708 - [ Together ] A what? - A B&E, dude! 16 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,110 A B&E? What does that mean? 17 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,780 Somebody broke into the bar and stole our safe. 18 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,783 Breaking and entering. B&E. No. No! 19 00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:52,684 Are you serious? Oh, my God! 20 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,154 - When did this happen? - Last night, I guess. 21 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,422 We just walked in this morning and found it like that. 22 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,224 Who locked up last night? I did. But that's the thing. The locks weren't even broken. 23 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:02,461 So somebody just waltzed in here and stole the safe? But it's not my fault. 24 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:06,432 - Well, it's somebody's fault. - [ Dee ] I know it's somebody's fault! 25 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,134 Well, it's somebody's fault! [ Dee ] I know that! 26 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:12,304 Guys! Guys! We're not gonna get anywhere yelling at each other! 27 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,140 We need to be rational. All right, all right. 28 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:18,811 Okay! I think it's clear what needs to happen. What? 29 00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:20,712 We need to buy a gun. 30 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,478 So what do you think? 31 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,347 I think next time you boys ought to get the kind of safe... 32 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:58,250 that a relatively small man can't just carry away. 33 00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:01,420 But there's been, like, a string of these robberies all over the area. 34 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,189 You don't have any leads or-- Not really. 35 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,425 "Not really." What in the hell does that even mean? 36 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,962 How could there not be any leads? The guy must have left something behind. 37 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,797 - People are working on it. - Hey, you guys. 38 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:15,534 They're pretty sure it's the same guy who's been hittin' all the bars around here. 39 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,437 We know, Charlie. So we're done here, Harris. 40 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,406 What-- So that's it? Yeah. 41 00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:23,909 We'll call you if we come up with anything. 42 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,545 Well, thanks. Yeah, thanks. 43 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,313 You know what? Let's go get that gun. 44 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,848 Whoa. Hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no. What? 45 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,518 Guns are not a good idea. They're dangerous. Someone's gonna get hurt. 46 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,921 - Yeah. Mac, no guns. - Guys, somebody stole our safe, right? 47 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,891 Am I crazy? We need to be able to protect ourselves... 48 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,526 in case something like this happens again. 49 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,828 Clearly, Philly's finest don't give a shit. Mac is absolutely right. 50 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,698 What if one of us was here when it happened? We would have been killed. 51 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:51,436 - No, you don't know that. Come on. - Hey, babe. 52 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:54,406 Hey, Colin. Mmm. 53 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,375 Was that law enforcement? Yeah. 54 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,811 - Is everything all right? - No, dude. We got robbed last night. 55 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,280 Oh, shit! 56 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:04,416 Are you kiddin' me? Oh-- What happened? 57 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:08,420 Remember the other day when you were making fun of us for having such a tiny safe? 58 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:13,992 That really sucks, guys. Look, we have reservations at Guajino's at 12:00, and-- 59 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:18,964 Yep. Just about-- Guys, it's a travesty. I'm sorry. 60 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:22,534 [ Whispering ] No guns. 61 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,604 Dude, your sister has the worst taste in men. 62 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:29,841 No shit. I hate that guy. He's like a full-on '80s movie stereotype. 63 00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,945 Plus, he's a total player. 64 00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,580 What do you mean? 65 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,448 You don't know about this? Oh, my God! 66 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,450 That guy's dated, like, every hot bartender in town. 67 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,587 I saw him a week ago with Wendy from Dirty Frank's. 68 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,855 Hand all down the back of her pants. 69 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,591 Oh! Gross. Very gross. 70 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,626 Whatever, dude. Charlie, close up shop. 71 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,862 Dennis, let's go get us a gun. 72 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,334 Do you really think they're gonna buy one? 73 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,735 No. I mean, I told them not to, 74 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,738 but Mac gets a boner every single time he thinks about a gun. 75 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:03,475 Well, I think it's a great idea. I'm-- I'm sorry? 76 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,811 I think it's really smart. 77 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,779 Owning and knowing how to properly use a firearm... 78 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,582 is an important part of what makes this country great. 79 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,918 Well, that's what I was trying to tell them-- 80 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,620 To tell you the truth-- What? 81 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:18,624 There's nothing sexier than when you're firing a gun. 82 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,727 Actually, it really turns me on. 83 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,963 Well, that's exactly why I want you to teach me how to use one, sexy. 84 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:28,367 It would be my pleasure. I think the pleasure would be all mine. 85 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,837 You've got a poppy seed in your teeth. 86 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:33,805 Hmm. 87 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:38,577 Get it? It's a big one. You might wanna go to the bathroom. 88 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,818 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Calm down! All right! 89 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,920 Hwang. You're just in time, buddy. 90 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,789 Charlie, my rent. Okay, listen. 91 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,492 Listen to me for a second while I-- No! I cannot wait anymore! 92 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,795 Don't come over here and just start yelling at me! [ Shouting, Indistinct ] 93 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,563 Hwang! Hey! Wait! 94 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:03,835 Let me go get something, and I'll fix it. 95 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:06,772 All right, hurry up. Hurry up! 96 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:10,442 I can't wait too long! Hwang not patient! 97 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,344 You getting my money? 98 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,714 Would you like a Rice Krispie treat? 99 00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:19,451 $854 you owe me! I realize how much money it is! 100 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,952 I'm not gonna take it no more! 101 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:25,757 I placed a couple bad investments! [ Shouting Continues ] 102 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,592 [ Shouts ] Hwang! 103 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:33,398 I placed a couple of bad investments. It could happen to anyone, right? 104 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,133 Okay. 105 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,469 I'm going to get your... 106 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:42,441 goddamn money by the end of the month, okay? 107 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:47,479 I come back tomorrow. I want my goddamn money! Yeah, tomorrow. 108 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,682 I want my money! Okay. 109 00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:54,619 [ Shouting, Indistinct ] 110 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,755 Dickhead! 111 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,858 Okay, Dennis. We're gonna be very careful about this, right? 112 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,594 We'll stash it right here just in case we need it. 113 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,529 Until then, we don't go near it. 114 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:08,166 Hopefully, we never have to pick it up again. Hopefully. 115 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,802 You wanna shoot it? Yes. 116 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,573 Yeah! Yes! 117 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,442 How do you like me now, log? You totally killed that log, dude. 118 00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,612 I totally killed it. I always knew that I'd be good at this stuff. 119 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,881 You're a really good shot, Dennis. Thanks, bro. 120 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,583 You're pretty good too, Hoss. 121 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,785 You hit the log, like, a bunch of times, man. I did. 122 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,187 If that log was trying to rob the place, you would have killed it. 123 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,556 I would have killed it! You totally would have killed it. 124 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,692 Absolutely! Hey, you wanna shoot it some more? 125 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,127 Yeah! Hey, can I load it up though? 126 00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:38,964 Absolutely! You like the sound. I like the sound of the clip. 127 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:39,765 Hey! Hey! 128 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:43,034 What the hell are you guys doing? Oh, Charlie, check it out. 129 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,536 Whoa, whoa. No, no, no. Check it out. 130 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,638 That's not fun! That's not a toy. Oh, come on, Charlie. 131 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,608 I'm serious, man. You shouldn't be playing around with guns. 132 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,677 First of all, we need to open the bar. We got robbed. 133 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,447 Hwang is all over my ass because of rent. 134 00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,184 You wanna hold it? No. No. 135 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,753 Come on. Just hold it. I wanna open the bar! 136 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,989 Hold it for a little bit. No, I don't wanna hold it. 137 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,958 Fine. Give me the gun. Fine. Yes. I'll hold the gun. Okay. 138 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,462 Good. Nice. Really nice feel to it. 139 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:14,199 That's really good. Is this thing loaded? 140 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,635 It can be. 141 00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:23,742 That's my boy! Whoo! That's amazing! 142 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,711 Yeah. Can you feel it? You bet I can feel it! Come on! 143 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,714 Describe what you feel. I feel like, uh-- 144 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:35,487 I feel focused and I feel badass and just, um, 145 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,888 badass, you know? 146 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,758 I think he's got it, Mac. Yes, he does. 147 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:45,030 Got what? Charlie, my boy, you've got the gun fever. 148 00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,700 Whoo! 149 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:52,037 That's what I'm talking about. You seeing this? 150 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,939 Yeah. That is sexy. 151 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,140 Yep, totally. You feeling sexy? 152 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,310 I don't know. Hey, hey, hey. It's all right to be a little nervous. 153 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,780 Everyone's nervous their first time. But I promise you, 154 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:05,817 once you put your hand around this, 155 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,986 you are gonna love it. 156 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,689 Well, actually, I've got something I think you'll love. 157 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,758 I'd rather watch you shoot the gun here. 158 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,263 What if I-- Just shoot the gun, Dee. 159 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,965 Okay. 160 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:24,002 Why would I not be serious? 161 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,004 All right. Thanks, Detective. Nothing? 162 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,274 No, nothing. I don't think they're taking this seriously on any level, dude. 163 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:32,777 Of course they're not, dude. This is exactly what I'm talking about. 164 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,646 These cops don't give a shit about us. 165 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,115 I think it's time we took matters into our own hands. 166 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,718 How? Maybe we should do a little investigating of our own. 167 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:44,155 Do some snoopin' around, try to crack the case. We got the gun. 168 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:48,059 That's true. Wanna go shoot it some more? 169 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,294 - Yes! - Let's do that. 170 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:53,098 - Pow, pow, pow! - Whoa! What the hell? 171 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,634 What? Dude, the gun's not here. 172 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:59,037 Holy shit! What are you talkin' about? Look! Look! 173 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,039 It's-- 174 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,742 Charlie? Charlie. 175 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:10,181 Yeah, I got the gun. [ Mac ] Why, Charlie? 176 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,817 It's supposed to be here to protect the bar. 177 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,986 Yeah, I know. I know. I just, uh-- 178 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:18,823 You just what? I just needed it. 179 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:22,694 - Is this the gun fever talking, dude? - No-- 180 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,195 It's not-- I don't have the gun fever, man. 181 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:27,098 Look, I'm coming in to work later. I'll bring it with me. 182 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,335 - I really don't like the sound of this, Charlie. - [ Pounding On Door ] 183 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:34,940 Hey, hey, hey. I gotta go, dude. I'll see you guys at the bar. 184 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,942 He hung up. 185 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:40,312 [ Pounding Continues ] All right! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! 186 00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:44,749 I'm coming! All right. Hang on a second there. 187 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,352 [ Pounding Continues ] 188 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:50,121 Hey, Hwang. Okay, so you got my money now? 189 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:55,360 I got some Rice Krispie treats in the fridge. You want some more of those? 190 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,195 [ Chuckles ] 191 00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,231 Charlie, I don't like you. I never liked you. 192 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:05,337 So just give me my money, or Hwang will be forced to-- 193 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:12,877 [ Sighs ] I'm sorry. Forced to-- 194 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,948 What you doing? Hmm? 195 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:20,151 - What's that? - So, listen, Hwang. 196 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,687 Let me talk to you about your money for a second. 197 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,823 Uh, I don't have it right now, you know? 198 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:28,994 I just don't have it. But I'm gonna get it, 199 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,362 because I have my ways. 200 00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:34,099 Do you know what I mean, Hwang, when I say I have my ways? 201 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:38,370 - [ Grunting ] - What is that? Is that a yes? 202 00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:39,904 - [ Grunts ] - [ Laughs ] 203 00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,874 Sometimes I can't understand you. You're talking, but I don't understand you. 204 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,745 So say yes if you know what I mean when I say I have my ways. 205 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:50,015 - Yes. - Oh, good boy. Get lost. 206 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,152 [ Whistling ] 207 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,689 [ Trilling ] 208 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,828 [ Shudders, Gags ] 209 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:07,232 All right. So we got the binoculars. We got the ziplock baggies. 210 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:11,269 We got the Maglite. I think as soon as Charlie gets here with the gun, we're all set. 211 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,039 This is great, dude. This is great. We're like the Hardy Boys. 212 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,074 Okay. Okay, great. 213 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,242 So I'll be Frank. You be Joe. 214 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,778 'Cause Frank was kind of the leader, and that makes a little more sense-- 215 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:23,214 Didn't Frank have blond hair? Yeah. But that doesn't make any difference-- 216 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,950 So I should be Frank 'cause I have lighter-- The hair color doesn't matter. 217 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,986 It's all about who's making the plans and-- 218 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,287 If we're gonna play Frank and Joe Hardy-- 219 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,757 But I'm the leader clearly in this partnership! Why are we talking about this? 220 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,292 You're right. We have a lot of work to do. 221 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,928 What's the first step? So I'm the leader. Great. Let's roll. 222 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:41,066 Wait, no. We can't go. What are you doing? We gotta open up the bar. 223 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,333 Or we could call your sister to do her job, 224 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:46,271 that is if she's not having sex with Colin and every other bartender in Philadelphia. 225 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:49,174 - Don't do that. It's gross. - Look, dude, we need to jump on this. 226 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:52,977 - Let's go do some investigating. - All right. All-- 227 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,780 Wait a second. [ Chuckles ] 228 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:59,150 What? Holy shit! 229 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,020 I know who stole our safe. You do? 230 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,555 Yeah. Let's go get that gun. 231 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:06,524 Yeah, let's get the gun. Wait, wait. Bag, bag, bag. Oh, the bag. 232 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,961 All right. I'm driving. Okay. No, I'm driving. 233 00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,367 I hope Charlie didn't do anything stupid. 234 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:20,205 Whatever Charlie's doing right now, it's probably pretty stupid. 235 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,507 Let's just hope nobody got hurt. 236 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,142 Yeah. Yo. 237 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,343 Hey, dude. Hey, guys. 238 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,346 - Can we get that gun? - Oh. Why? 239 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:32,217 Well, first of all, we shouldn't have to tell you why. 240 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,384 We bought it. It's ours. 241 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:37,922 But if you must know, it's because we know who knocked over the bar. 242 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,290 Really? 243 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,426 Yeah. Can we get the gun? 244 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,062 Why? Because we know who-- Okay, you know what, dude? 245 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:48,299 Move. Oh, this place is a shit-hole, Charlie. It smells. 246 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,935 So, don't you wanna know who did it? 247 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:54,038 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who was it? - Colin. 248 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,474 Oh. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Think about it. 249 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,544 It all makes sense. Colin goes around town... 250 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,913 with every hot bartender chick, right? 251 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,982 He woos them with his charm and his good looks. 252 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,484 He finds out where the safes are. He finds out how to get in. 253 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:10,155 You remember when Sweet Dee said that he was laughing about how small the safe was? 254 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:14,192 You saw how quickly he changed the subject when she brought that safe up. 255 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,827 Right. All right. So what's the plan? 256 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:20,431 I'll slide the gun meaningfully into the front of my pants-- 257 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,934 - I know that game. - Yeah. 258 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,603 So why don't you go get it? Go get the gun! 259 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,138 All right. Here. 260 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,542 Oh! Do you want it? 261 00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:34,312 Hey, Dee. Are you with Colin right now? 262 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,582 Oh, no. He had to meet someone at Fingers Bar, huh? 263 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,018 Nice. Okay. 264 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:43,021 Why don't you take the night off, okay? You deserve it. 265 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,190 All right. You're welcome. Bye. Pow, pow, pow. 266 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:49,928 You ready? Ready, Freddy. Oh. 267 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,564 It goes-- Uh, stick it back in-- 268 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:02,373 - What a penis! - Like you wouldn't do such a thing? 269 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:06,077 Come on. Let's nail this prick. Wait. Hold on a second. 270 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,012 Didn't Fingers already get robbed? 271 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:11,049 Uh, yeah. So what's this guy doing, going in for round two? 272 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,018 I don't know. Can we do this thing? Wait. Hold on. 273 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:20,191 Do you think this guy would be dumb enough to rob the same bar twice? 274 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,260 Yeah, I do. Me too. 275 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,330 All right, change of plans. Leave the gun. 276 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:28,399 I'm gonna get this asshole to hit Paddy's again. 277 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:32,103 Follow my lead. I'm the leader. 278 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,479 Hey, Colin! Colin! 279 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,015 What are you doing here? Hey, fellas. 280 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,516 Didn't expect to see you here. 281 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:49,087 Yeah. I was just-- Actually, I was leaving. Leaving? 282 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,189 Having a little drink, huh? Little drinky-poo. Couple drinks? 283 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:54,626 Yeah. Just, uh-- Yeah, just a little drink. Yeah? 284 00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:59,197 What's up, man? You seem like, uh, the cat who ate the canary. 285 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,431 [ Nervous Chuckle ] No-- 286 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,568 Canary-- No, I was just-- I didn't expect to see you guys here. 287 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,638 Why? Well, I thought you'd be at Paddy's. 288 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,440 Paddy's, no. We actually closed up shop for the night. 289 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,443 Yeah. Yeah. Thought we'd get wasted here instead, you know? 290 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,412 Just a little freaked out about the robbery. Yeah. 291 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:19,117 But, actually, funny story. Turns out the dickhead didn't actually get all of our money. 292 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:23,087 We actually keep it in the register instead of the safe. Yeah. 293 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,356 So the stupid asshole didn't even think to look there, right? 294 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:30,295 What a cock! What an idiot! What an idiot! What a total idiot, right? 295 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,563 Boner, really. Schmuck. 296 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,265 Stupid idiot. Yeah, so, you know. 297 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,101 As soon as we get some new locks, we should be all set. 298 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:40,305 Yeah. So we're just probably gonna hop in here-- 299 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,673 Grab a couple drinks here tonight. Yeah, get wasted. 300 00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:46,277 Maybe pass out. Or walk home with a couple of hot waitresses. 301 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,313 Right, Colin? 302 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,748 Yeah, totally. Yeah. 303 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,718 All right, well, don't wanna keep you. Yeah. 304 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,488 We'll see you later. You look spiffy, bro. Yeah, you look good. 305 00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:01,225 Maybe you guys should get a gun. What? 306 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:04,729 Well, Dee was saying that you were thinking about getting a gun. 307 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,265 I think it's a good idea. 308 00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:13,938 Good protection. I, uh-- I keep one on me all the time. 309 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:17,241 I don't know. Think about it. 310 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,077 Absolutely. Enjoy your drinky. 311 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,712 Yeah. We will. All right, man. 312 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,780 - Have a good night, bro. Yeah. - See you later. 313 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:26,617 He's got a gun on him at all times. From now on, so will we. 314 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,419 Dude, you just laid it on way too thick back there. 315 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:32,190 There's no way he's gonna hit Paddy's again tonight. He'd have to be a moron. 316 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,659 He is a moron, dude. He'll be there. 317 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,127 Hey, Dee. Yeah, listen. 318 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:40,331 There's a change of plans. I need you to meet us at Paddy's tonight after all. 319 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,001 Something you need to see. 320 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,471 Why did you guys bring me into this? You'll see. 321 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:50,074 Did you turn off the circuit breaker? Yeah, dude. We're all set. 322 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,743 Check. 323 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,144 [ Cocking Gun ] 324 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:56,214 What the hell was that? Did you just cock back the hammer, bro? 325 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,815 No. Wait a second. You guys have a gun? 326 00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,785 Hey, listen to me. We are not shooting anybody tonight. 327 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:04,288 I know. Dennis, you are not shooting anyone! 328 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,257 I don't want to shoot anyone, Sweet Dee! 329 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,259 You better not shoot anybody. I don't have-- 330 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,761 I should be holding the gun. I have better-- 331 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:12,897 Well, I put this whole thing together. I shot the log way more times! 332 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:16,267 - This is so bad. - But I'm the one who has better aim than you! 333 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,103 [ Door Opening ] What? What? Is he here? 334 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:22,807 Oh, there he is. Okay. 335 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:26,444 What's he doing? He's walking toward the cash register. 336 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,879 Oh, he looks shady. 337 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,581 Yeah. That's him. [ Tapping Keys On Register ] 338 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,784 That's it. Do the flashlight. [ Flashlight Drops ] 339 00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:35,686 - Turn the flashlight on! - I can't reach it! 340 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,755 No, no! He's getting away! 341 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:38,689 Shoot him! What? 342 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,659 [ Together ] Shoot him! Shoot him in his face! 343 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,662 - Shit! - [ Shouting ] 344 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,864 - Did you get him? - [ Charlie ] I'm shot! 345 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:50,301 - Charlie? Oh, my God! - [ Mac ] Oh, my god! 346 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,337 Turn on the circuit breaker! Turn on the circuit breaker! 347 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,274 - Did you shoot me, Dennis? - I-- Uh, no. I-- 348 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,508 Why did you shoot me? Oh, my God! 349 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,144 - My God! Dude, are you okay? - Where are you shot? 350 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,580 - In my head! - What? 351 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:06,384 Oh, my God! Charlie, I shot you in your head. I am so sorry. 352 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,019 Is he okay? No, I'm not okay! He shot me in my head! 353 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:11,789 No. It must have just grazed his head. You shot him in the head, bro! 354 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,658 If I shot him in the head, he'd be dead. It really hurts! 355 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:17,328 - I gotta go to a hospital! - All right, man. I'll call an ambulance. 356 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,730 The hospital's, like, three blocks away. We should just drive him! 357 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:23,301 I know that. But I don't wanna get blood stains all over the interior of my car. 358 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,503 Are you serious? [ Charlie Shouting, Indistinct ] 359 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,206 All right! I'll take you to a hospital! God! 360 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,442 All right, get a trash bag. We'll put it over him. 361 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,518 I can't believe you shot Charlie, dude. Don't start this again! 362 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,654 You almost killed our best friend. You told me to shoot Charlie! 363 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:44,689 You guys told me to shoot Charlie. 364 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:47,692 The minute the shit hits the fan, you guys are, like, "Dennis, don't shoot the gun!" 365 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:51,429 I was not! Then all of a sudden, you told me to shoot him in the face! 366 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,764 I didn't say that! 367 00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:58,803 [ Arguing Continues ] 368 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:04,142 [ Arguing Stops ] 369 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:16,521 Hey. Hey, there he is. How you feeling, buddy? 370 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:17,622 You shot me, dude. 371 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,892 But, Charlie, you were stealing from the bar. It was an honest mistake. 372 00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:22,693 I still kind of wish you didn't shoot me. 373 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:26,297 If you needed help with money, why didn't you talk to us? Yeah, man. 374 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,798 I-- I had it all worked out, all right? 375 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:32,370 I was gonna make it look like all the other robberies going on around town. 376 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:38,476 Then we would collect some insurance money and-- 377 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,846 Wow, dude. That's really just goddamn ridiculous. That is so dumb. 378 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,515 I thought it was the best idea I ever had. No, it's not at all. 379 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,684 But you know what? It might be the best idea you've ever had, but-- 380 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,387 Listen. Listen. The important thing is that you are all right. 381 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:53,324 And we talked about it, and we decided we need to get rid of that gun. 382 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,959 Oh, oh, the gun. Yeah, we're getting rid of the gun. 383 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,862 It's too dangerous. You could have been killed. Dennis could have killed you. 384 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,898 Okay, good. Yes. I think that would be for the best. 385 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,669 Ah. Mmm. Dee, could you get me a nurse? 386 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,471 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. 387 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,343 Tell me we're not getting rid of that gun. 388 00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,312 No way! 389 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,681 Never. Sweet. 390 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:22,620 No, he's fine. It turns out it just kind of grazed his head. 391 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,422 [ Colin ] Oh, that's great news, babe. 392 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:28,526 Thank you so much for calling though. You are so sweet, Colin. 393 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,561 I guess I'm just a sweet guy. 394 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,763 All right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow? 395 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,533 You will. Okay. Good night. 396 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,835 Dream of me. 397 00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:43,674 Idiots. 398 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:25,650 [ Voices Speaking Backwards ]