1
00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:03,068
[ Mac ]
How are we supposed to scale
back our energy costs...
2
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,603
when you are filling
this generator
with gasoline?
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:08,140
When did you start running
the bar on a gas
generator instead of--
4
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,441
About a week ago.
I've been doing it
for about a week.
5
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:13,045
Why would you do that?
Well, because, you know,
electricity's so expensive, man.
6
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:15,114
So I figured let's
get a generator and,
you know, run the bar on it.
7
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:18,217
Are you kidding me? Gasoline's,
like, a thousand times more
expensive than electricity.
8
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,353
And you know what, Charlie?
You shouldn't be making these
decisions anyway, okay?
9
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,821
You're not
the decision-making type.
[ Charlie ] Yeah.
10
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,391
As the brains of this
organization, I should've
made this decision.
11
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:28,660
Whoa, whoa. I'm sorry.
Since when did you
become the brains?
12
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,096
Uh, I'm sorry.
I've always been the brains.
What?
13
00:00:31,098 --> 00:00:34,099
What are you talking about?
I thought I was the brains.
What the hell am I?
14
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:36,435
You're the looks.
Well, yeah.
Of course I'm the looks.
15
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,303
But I always thought
of myself as the brains
and the looks.
16
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,739
No, you're the looks.
I'm the brains.
Charlie's the wild card.
17
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,741
Whoa. That's awesome.
18
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,811
Yeah. Yeah, that's
the classic setup.
You know this, no?
19
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:50,115
Look, every great crew
in history has followed
that basic dynamic, right?
20
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,851
Looks, brains, wild card.
Think about it.
21
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,620
The A-Team did it.
22
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:58,090
Scooby-Doo did it.
The Ghostbusters did it.
23
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:58,690
Oh, shit.
Yes. Right?
24
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:02,928
Our problem
is that we don't stick
to that basic format,
25
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:03,729
and it gets us into trouble.
26
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,465
So what you're saying
is that by breaking
from that format,
27
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,834
we're actually limiting
our ability to be
as successful...
28
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,703
as those organizations.
You're totally right, dude.
29
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,838
Great.
On to the matter at hand.
30
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,608
We're getting plowed in the ass
by the oil companies
and the gas companies...
31
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,411
with their 10-gallon hats
and their rotten,
ass-plowing hearts.
32
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:23,615
So, as the brains
of this organization,
I came up with a plan.
33
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,684
Lay it on us, bud.
It involves pulling up our
bootstraps,
34
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:30,189
oiling up a couple of asses,
and doing a little plowing
of our own.
35
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,357
Mmm.
Pow!
36
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,460
Not gay sex.
37
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,795
Okay. 'Cause that's
what it sounded like.
Okay, okay, okay.
38
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:40,199
What did you mean?
We're gonna solve
the gas crisis.
39
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,270
♪
40
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,049
♪
41
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,726
♪♪
42
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,367
Charlie, the plan
is simple, okay?
43
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,568
Is it?
Yes.
We go to a bank.
44
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:21,173
We talk to a loan officer.
We get a hefty loan to buy
a bunch of gasoline.
45
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,474
Mm-hmm.
We take that gasoline.
46
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,309
We store it in the basement.
We wait a few months.
47
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,612
When the gas prices
skyrocket, we sell it,
make a huge profit.
48
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:29,047
Yeah, man.
If the guy doesn't seem
like he's going for it,
49
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,383
I'll show him this
big-breasted-women chart.
[ Charlie ] Mm-hmm.
50
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:35,220
And that'll win him over.
Yeah, I'm sure it will,
'cause that's great,
51
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,755
and the plan's
actually pretty great.
52
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:40,626
The problem I'm having
with it is that I don't
have anything to do.
53
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,861
No. You do have
something to do.
You're the wild card.
54
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,764
You sit there looking crazy
and capable of anything.
55
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:46,765
Yeah.
Ohh. That's--
56
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,667
Yeah, you set the tone
for the whole meeting.
Okay.
57
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:53,739
So if I'm, like, there
while you guys are talking,
and I'm just, like, uh--
58
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,809
That's terrible.
That was my--
That was my wild card face.
59
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,712
What message are you
trying to send with that?
Was it not a good one?
60
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:04,349
Well, so what if it's
more like-- like, I'm, um--
61
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:08,620
You want '''em to think
you're gonna take a dump, or--
That's what that looks like?
62
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,956
I don't know what
message you were trying--
Oh, man.
63
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:11,790
You're forcing it.
Oh, my God.
64
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,525
Yeah, you're
forcing it.
I better look in a mirror,
65
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,628
'cause I don't know what I'm
doing, and what it looks like
feel like two different things.
66
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,964
I'm gonna supervise, 'cause
there's no way he should
be making this decision.
67
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,966
Walk me through it, dude,
'cause I just don't see it.
I'm gonna draw another woman.
68
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:24,937
It's not a rape van.
It's a spy van.
It looks like a rape van to me.
69
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,705
But whatever.
Dennis, you gotta
look at this.
70
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:31,009
What is this?
Bruce Mathis is about to
give away all of Mom's money.
71
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,546
What are you talking about?
In two days, some Muslim
cultural center...
72
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,914
is about to get
a giant check made
out of our cash.
73
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:41,220
- And we gotta get that back.
- Listen. This jamoke is giving
our money to terrorists.
74
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,454
And we gotta prove it.
75
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:47,626
Um, Dee, Mom gave all of our
money to Bruce. You were never
gonna get it anyway.
76
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,328
Oh, no, no, no.
I was. See, I had a plan.
77
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:52,464
I was gonna eliminate
everybody else and be
the only surviving heir.
78
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,899
So... help.
79
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:57,302
Uh, so when you say "eliminate,"
you mean you were gonna kill me?
80
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,537
Uh, I don't know.
No. Yes.
81
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,906
Maybe I was going to.
Maybe I wasn't.
The point is moot now.
82
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,809
Can you please help me out here?
So you were planning
on killing me?
83
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,311
You're still
talking about that?
Listen, listen. Stop arguing.
84
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,947
Are you gonna help us or not?
We got no time here.
85
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,048
Pass.
Pass?
86
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,350
Yeah, pass. Super pass.
UÜÜber pass.
87
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,385
How do you super pass
on something like this?
We gotta get that money.
88
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,887
I pass!
Because you were
planning on killing me.
89
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:19,992
I feel like you're really
focused on one tiny part of
what I'm trying to talk about.
90
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:22,628
It's a very big part of your--
It's just a couple of words.
91
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,896
Just go away.
I'm trying to draw breasts.
Focus on the words "money"--
92
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,798
and pretty women.
and "Bruce,"
and "me," and "help."
93
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:32,904
All right. And what
is the reason you're
requesting a loan today?
94
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,307
Wait for it.
95
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,608
Gasoline.
96
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,876
- Excuse me?
- Don't rush me.
97
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,412
Don't rush him.
Thank you. I feel rushed.
Look. Here's the plan.
98
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:44,483
You give us a shitload of money.
We buy a shitload of gasoline.
99
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,752
We wait 12 months.
We sell the gasoline.
100
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,054
And make a shitload
of profit.
101
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,890
Gentlemen, we tend to give loans
to businesses, not, um--
102
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,793
She's not getting it.
Get the graph.
Oh, yeah. The graph.
103
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,029
We have a graph.
Yeah. Check this out.
104
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:59,798
Now these are
the gas prices last year.
105
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,634
These are the gas prices
this year.
106
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,870
And this is what
the gas prices will be.
107
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:11,677
- And what are those?
- Uh, these are gorgeous women
with heaving breasts.
108
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:12,911
Why?
109
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:16,448
Uh, well, to be perfectly
honest, we sort of thought...
110
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,717
we'd be speaking
to a man today, so--
Yeah.
111
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,419
Is there any way
that we could
talk to your boss?
112
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:25,390
- Because I think he would
understand more better.
- My boss is a woman.
113
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:29,428
Really?
Your boss is a woman?
Now, this is a strange bank.
114
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,497
Okay. Well, I am definitely
rejecting your request...
115
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:37,336
for $300,000
to buy gasoline.
116
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,639
Dennis, you're on.
Yeah.
117
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,108
You know, I just had
a crazy thought.
118
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:48,080
How's about I take you
in the back and--
Oh.
119
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,348
"change your mind"?
120
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:52,584
Or how about we all go
in the back and have great sex?
121
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,420
- What are you doing?
- Hmm? I'm playing
the wild card here, man, so--
122
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,722
No, dude.
Just let Dennis
do his thing, okay?
123
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,691
I can be very sensual
with a woman, all right?
You will enjoy it.
124
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,793
Now is not the right time
to pull the wild card, okay?
125
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,894
Let me do my thing.
Let me do the seducing.
126
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,931
Look, let Dennis bang her
so we can get our loan.
Here's a scenario.
127
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,466
What if she wanted to bang me,
or you for that matter--
128
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,469
You can't pull the wild card
when I have my shirt off.
That should be a rule.
129
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,871
Yes, that's a rule.
Well, your shirt's not off.
130
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,773
Well, now it is,
goddamn it, bitch.
Oh, yeah?
131
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,408
Back off.
Oh, wow, now, baby.
132
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,776
Come on, man.
This is my job.
133
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,011
Now I feel like
I should do it.
What are you doing?
134
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,381
Huh?
Goddamn it.
Well, okay, so--
135
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:22,981
Why don't you decide?
136
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:28,387
Which one of us do you want
to take you in the back
and bang you?
137
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:42,033
My intel tells me
that Bruce moved into
this crappy apartment complex.
138
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,736
Where did you get
your intel?
I waterboarded some guy.
139
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,539
Told me everything.
You tortured somebody?
140
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,040
Oh, yeah. Big time.
141
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,610
- What do you see?
- I can't see shit.
142
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,211
Why would you tint
the inside of the windows?
143
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,782
I don't want anybody
to see in.
We can't see out, Frank.
144
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,484
I might've overdone it
a little bit.
You think so?
145
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:02,087
Whoa, whoa. That's Bruce.
146
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,588
- This guy?
- That's the guy walking there.
147
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,390
- Start the car.
- Are you sure that's him?
148
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,794
[ Frank ]
Let's follow him.
I'm gonna take some pictures.
149
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,495
[ Groans ]
I got it working.
150
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:13,665
Let's go.
All right, there's--
The gas pedal is stuck.
151
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,000
Well, wobble it.
Wobble it?
152
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,135
Yeah, wobble it back and forth.
Wiggle it. Wiggle it.
All right.
153
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:20,639
[ Engine Starts ]
That's it. That's it.
Now hit it. Whoa!
154
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:21,773
Aaah! Oh, God.
What are you trying to do?
155
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:25,076
You're giving me whiplash.
You're blinding me.
Calm down for a second.
156
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,678
Hold on.
157
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,846
Oh, man.
Son of a bitch.
158
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,048
Will you stop with
that for one second?
159
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,550
Hey, assholes.
160
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:34,719
[ Shutter Clicking ]
161
00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:38,657
Hey, what the hell
was that about?
162
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:45,931
I can't believe Dee keeps her
life savings in her sock drawer.
That's a dumb place to hide it.
163
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,599
She's an investor now.
She'll thank us later.
164
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,768
You know what, guys?
I'm sorry. Can I--
I gotta bring something up.
165
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,471
Can I bring something up?
Because if I don't, it's
gonna stew up inside me.
166
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,539
It's gonna
drive me crazy.
What's up, man?
167
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:57,776
I kinda can't believe
that you guys took your
shirts off back there, man.
168
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,145
I mean, I feel like
you really sold me
down the river.
169
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,781
The Ghostbusters
would never do something
like that to each other.
170
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,583
I can't believe
you guys did it.
What are you doing?
171
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:09,221
- No trash cans. Only cars.
- Whoa. Cool your jets, guy.
We paid for this gas.
172
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:12,624
It's gonna be a while, so--
[ Whistles ]
173
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,559
Stop now. You can't do this.
174
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,061
What? Come on, man.
Only cars.
175
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,996
Ah, geez. All right.
Well, wild card,
do your thing.
176
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,833
So help me, God,
I'll blow this place
to kingdom come, guy.
177
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,903
Not that. Not that.
Jesus Christ, Charlie.
Come on, man.
178
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,538
No. We just gotta figure out
a way...
179
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,241
to get this gas
back to the bar
without using the barrels.
180
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,043
Well, how the hell
are we gonna do that?
181
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,650
Aaah!
182
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,620
[ Coughing ]
All right, barrel number six
is done, dudes.
183
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,990
Mac, this doesn't seem
to be the best--
This is not working, okay?
184
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,858
We are actually
losing money driving
back and forth...
185
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,094
from that gas station
all day long.
You burn up your product--
186
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,963
Plus, I have swallowed
a good deal of it,
and it's a damn waste.
187
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,534
That's not good.
Yeah, and gas has gone up
seven cents since this morning.
188
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,769
He puts a new thing on the sign
every time we pull in there.
189
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,038
We're screwing
ourselves here, guys.
Hold on. Let's not freak out.
190
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,773
Let's not freak out.
The plan is not
working though, man.
191
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:06,144
We just need to adjust our
business model to meet the needs
of a changing marketplace.
192
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,346
That's all.
That's money talk.
Let's talk money.
193
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,181
We gotta make some money
in the short term.
194
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,919
Well, how the hell
are we gonna do that?
I got a plan.
195
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,720
We'd like to return
some gas, please.
196
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,591
- Yeah. Don't worry, bro.
Got receipts.
- I can't do that.
197
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,994
You can't do it,
or you won't do it?
198
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,863
Both.
199
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,364
Not yet, buddy.
200
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,067
Okay, bro.
You want to play
hard ball, fine.
201
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:32,237
You're about to
experience the hard knocks
of a free market, bitch.
202
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:35,140
Get ready to feel it
where it hurts.
Your dick.
203
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:38,610
No. No, not his dick.
His-- His wallet.
Yup.
204
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:41,079
Your wallet.
Yup.
205
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,854
- Here we are. This is it.
- Are you sure
this is his place?
206
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,656
Yes. Yes, yes.
My intel says so.
207
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,626
Okay, listen.
Take these box cutters.
Put 'em in his bedroom.
208
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:57,629
Take this fertilizer.
Toss it in the closet.
209
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:58,730
What the hell
are we doing that for?
210
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:02,801
'Cause when I call the cops
on him, they'll come and find
all this bomb-making shit,
211
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,236
and they'll arrest
his money-stealing ass.
212
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,238
We don't want
to call the cops.
213
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,174
They'll find the bug
I'm gonna plant.
214
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:12,877
That's a baby monitor, Frank.
You're planting a baby monitor?
215
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:18,083
Yeah. A lot of people
are bugging their babies
these days.
216
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,718
I guess babies
can't be trusted.
217
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,955
What exactly is it you're
expecting to find here?
A lot of shady shit.
218
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,690
Like what?
219
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:28,326
Like maybe Bruce
is banging dudes.
220
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,829
Why would that be shady?
221
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,697
Maybe the dudes are babies.
What?
222
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,332
Bruce is not banging
any baby dudes.
223
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,967
Look, we're going back
to the original plan, okay?
224
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,970
We're gonna put the frame
on him, we're gonna be heroes
among the community,
225
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,374
and I'm gonna get all of my
money back as a reward.
All my money.
226
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:45,377
Well, whatever.
It was probably gonna
end up mine eventually, so--
227
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:49,648
Okay. There's something
I want to talk to you about.
228
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:52,884
Were you planning on offing me,
229
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,253
and then offing Dennis also?
230
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,588
Frank, we are in
the middle of something.
231
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,890
I don't have time to chitchat
with you about stuff right now.
232
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,159
Were you planning on offing me?
I didn't say that.
233
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,161
You didn't deny it either.
234
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:07,932
Uh, deny it?
Do I have to deny
something so crazy?
235
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:11,236
Give me the baby monitor.
I'll hide it for you.
236
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,344
Capitalism at work.
This oughta show
the son of a bitch.
237
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,279
All right, buddy,
now explain to me
how exactly...
238
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,982
we're gonna
calculate the totals.
Oh, it's easy, dude.
239
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,785
You pour gas into
the car using one of
these funnels, right?
240
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,720
And I count how much gas
is going into the car.
241
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,855
All right, let me--
Let me just stop you
right there.
242
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:34,325
How exactly are you planning
on counting a liquid?
243
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,061
Uh, I know how
to count, dude.
I'm not--
244
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,929
Okay, you do it.
You do it, Mac.
Because I can't speak to him.
245
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:41,199
Well, say free market 101--
You gotta have customers to
have a working business, right?
246
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:47,072
So we gotta attract attention.
I for one suggest me blowing
fireballs to get that attention.
247
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,274
Fireball-- Where is that
coming from? No.
248
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,943
We're not blowing fireballs
around 10 containers of--
249
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,111
People will see it
from the street.
250
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,179
We have 10 containers
of gasoline.
251
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,081
The lighter, please.
What the hell are you--
252
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,348
Thank you, sir.
Let me please reiterate--
253
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,817
He understands.
my strong opposition--
254
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,385
Trust me, Dennis.
I know what I'm doing.
to this idea.
255
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,788
This is really unsafe, dude.
Do not blow that fireball.
256
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,924
Whoa!
257
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:07,959
Wow. Okay, wow.
258
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,128
I take back everything
I just said. That was amazing.
Oh, dude.
259
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,796
I'm doing
one of those, baby.
I can do it bigger.
260
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:12,964
You can do it bigger?
No, Charlie.
Let me do it.
261
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,934
Make sure it's bigger.
If you're gonna do it,
make sure you-- Wait.
262
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:16,835
Aaah!
Whoa.
263
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,937
Oh, goddamn it.
Whoo!
264
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,872
You burned my head.
[ Laughing ]
265
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:21,940
Oh, I think I burned him.
Really?
266
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:25,410
Ow! Ow! Jesus Christ.
Easy, camper. Easy, camper.
267
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,779
Relax.
You're gonna feel better.
How can I relax?
268
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,280
Just stop. Just stop.
Okay.
269
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,016
Do you have anything
other than a towel
and duct tape?
270
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:35,820
Not really.
New plan.
We're going to a hospital.
271
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:36,821
Oh, whoa. Actually, bro,
you know what?
272
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,523
I think we're gonna
be done with your plans
for a little while.
273
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,425
Because the system you set up--
It ain't working.
274
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,128
So I got a new system.
Me-- Both the brains
and the looks.
275
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,965
Charlie, you're still gonna be
the wild card, 'cause that
fireball you blew was badass.
276
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,933
It was great, right?
You just kinda got in the way.
Yeah.
277
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,337
Mac, check this out though.
You're gonna be the muscle.
No. I--
278
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,240
I think we gotta stick to
the paradigm that we've set up--
279
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,841
The A-Team, Scooby-Doo--
No, no, no.
280
00:12:56,843 --> 00:13:00,111
Your "paragon"
is failing us, man.
It's a "paradigm," but yeah.
281
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,880
- It wasn't working.
- It's not working.
282
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,816
What happened was we
confused your bossiness
with braininess,
283
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,484
and those two are
very different things.
Mm-hmm.
284
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,586
That is what happened.
So check it out
though, man.
285
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,356
I got a new plan.
This is what we're gonna do.
Yeah.
286
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,991
Yeah. We're gonna steal
Frank's rape van--
Mm-hmm.
287
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:16,361
because driving around with
all that gasoline is ruining
the interior of my car.
288
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,929
And I just--
I won't have it.
No.
289
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,265
Then we're gonna take
that van and we're
gonna offer people...
290
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,333
something that gas stations
just can't offer 'em.
291
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:26,571
What?
Gasoline directly
to their doorsteps.
292
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,139
Door-to-door gasoline
salesmen.
293
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,109
Oh, my God. That's amazing.
That's a brilliant
plan, right?
294
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,144
Brains, looks, brains.
Whatever, fine.
Then I'll be the muscle.
295
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,046
I'll muscle these pricks
into buying the gas and--
Ooh.
296
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:39,250
Actually, why don't you muscle
your way back by the van because
you look like a burned-up freak.
297
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,352
You know what?
A look is gonna be
a big part of this.
298
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:45,290
- I'm gonna get some disguises.
- Why would we need
disguises, Charlie?
299
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,091
So people don't know
who we are, you know?
300
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:51,496
- They already don't know.
- You're not letting
the wild card do his thing.
301
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:56,067
- Is there any reason
behind what you're doing?
- Wild card.
302
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,070
[ Man On TV ]
Stewart's up on his second shot
on the fairway.
303
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:03,541
Hole 15.
I'd say it's about 195 yards.
304
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,110
He has a seven iron.
305
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:07,979
[ Sharp Smack ]
306
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,849
I mean, how has he been
sitting there watching golf
for three hours?
307
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:14,352
I don't know. I don't know.
[ Man ]
Is that a baby monitor?
308
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,987
Oh! Shit. Cut it off.
309
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,456
Goddamn it.
Now he's suspicious of us.
Oh, no.
310
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,124
Oh, no.
You are such a bad hider.
311
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,492
I'm a bad hider?
You never could hide.
312
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:25,029
It was hard to--
I bet you still hide your money
in your sock drawer.
313
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,699
[ Scoffs ]
My sock drawer?
314
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,500
Yeah.
Come on.
That would be stupid.
315
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,568
Yeah, you do.
You're lying to me.
316
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,970
Just shut up.
I'm not lying to you.
317
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,638
I'm getting outta here.
This is a setup.
Will you relax?
318
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,473
You're setting me up,
and I'm getting the hell out.
319
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,977
Frank, get back here.
You're not gonna
do this to me, girl.
320
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,546
I understand
what's goin' on.
Come back, Frank. Goddamn it.
321
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,581
- Okay, they're on the move.
- I know what's going on.
322
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,183
You think I was
born yesterday?
Hey, you son of a bitch.
323
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,952
Okay, go. Go, Mac. Go. Go.
[ Dee ]
What are you talking about?
324
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:52,223
Don't lie to me. I have my ways
of finding out things.
You'll be sor--
325
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:57,962
Oh, my God.
Is that a Muslim guy?
He's getting in my van.
326
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,465
[ Tires Squealing ]
327
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,368
- Oh, shit!
- [ Groans ]
328
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,371
[ Car Alarm Blaring ]
329
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:11,109
- Man, what--
Dude, seriously?
- Hey.
330
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:16,347
No. No. No.
331
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,227
[ Dennis ]
All right, well, just let me
do the talking, okay?
332
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,995
You gotta at least talk
with a Southern accent.
333
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:32,263
I'm not gonna talk
in a Southern accent.
334
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,032
It's bad enough
that you wore
this stupid disguise.
335
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,266
But we're oilmen.
We would have Southern accents.
336
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:39,237
- We don't need bolo ties
and stupid hats.
- Yes, we do. She's gonna--
337
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:39,671
Hello, ma'am.
338
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,006
Oh, what a lovely house dress.
[ Exaggerated Southern Accent ]
Yeah.
339
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:46,377
Well, you're looking
all sorts of good.
Now, you seem like...
340
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,414
a sweet, sophisticated,
nice, busy, young lady,
341
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,582
so we're not gonna
waste your time today.
Nah.
342
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,052
We're just a couple oilmen
in from Dallas,
343
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:59,390
and, well, we're itching
like a hound to give you
something you want.
344
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:03,661
What my--
[ Clears Throat ]
associate is trying to say...
345
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:07,031
is that we're here
to offer your community
a much-needed service--
346
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,200
Hells, yeah.
We want to fill you up,
347
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,603
if'n you are so inclined
as to let us.
348
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,238
Please let me
do the talking.
I got it.
349
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,608
Please let me--
Now we ain't gonna take no
for an answer now, you hear?
350
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:22,447
Okay? So don't be making me
sic my associate on you
here, all right?
351
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:26,451
[ Laughs ]
He don't take kindly to "no."
352
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:30,088
So can I fill you up or what?
353
00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:33,758
Yeah.
You'd best get to stepping
because Johnny Law's a-coming.
354
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,127
Yeah. You might want to
start driving because she
called the cops on us.
355
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:39,998
Why is he talking like that?
Well, wild card over here
decided to lose his mind.
356
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,367
I say, I say, that's
just damn preposterous, boy.
357
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,701
Well, now
you're just talking
like Foghorn Leghorn.
358
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:47,238
All right, guys, I think it's
time we cut our losses and go
back to the original plan.
359
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,607
- Ah, the generator.
- No, not the generator.
360
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,609
Storing the gas in Paddy's.
All right.
361
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:54,379
It's too soon to
sell this gas anyway.
Just shut the door.
362
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:57,215
Go, go, go, go.
Okay, okay, okay.
363
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,018
[ Tires Squealing ]
364
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,719
All right, admit it.
365
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,221
That Muslim guy
was gonna rub me out.
366
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:06,591
And that's when you jumped out
of the van after I got out.
367
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,226
Admit it. Come on.
[ Gasps ]
368
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:11,262
Oh, my God.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
369
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,264
Oh, don't lie to me.
No! Okay!
370
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,766
Admit it!
Okay! Okay, I admit it.
371
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,768
What do you admit?
I admit anything
you want to hear.
372
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:20,104
Now you admit that Bruce Mathis
is a terrorist?
He's a terrorist.
373
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,507
And that you
are working for him.
Yes. I work for him.
374
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,410
We get our information
from the top.
The top cave.
375
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,646
Don't bullshit me.
That's all I got to say.
376
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,781
Oh, hey.
377
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:32,216
I like what
I'm seeing here, Frank.
Bring me up to speed.
378
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:36,354
I'm waterboarding your sister
because she's escalating
the plot to kill us.
379
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:39,157
- Dennis, help me.
- Why the hell
would I help you, Dee?
380
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,826
- You're still plotting
to kill me?
- No. Help!
381
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,561
Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up.
382
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,430
Yeah, shut up.
Tell me what's going on.
383
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,066
Hey, Frank, by the way,
we borrowed that pathetic
rape van of yours.
384
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,101
You gotta get that
gas pedal fixed, man.
[ Gasping ]
385
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,370
Mac rammed into some dude's
car, like, five
times.
386
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,205
It was amazing.
You guys took the van?
387
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,741
I thought
it was some Muslim guy.
No, not really.
388
00:17:56,743 --> 00:18:00,812
Whoa! What is
going on in here?
Well, Frank's waterboarding Dee.
389
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,380
You guys? You took the van?
390
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:06,350
Well, hell, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I just realized something.
391
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,820
Frank is the muscle.
392
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:09,554
What?
393
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:12,090
The reason that
shit hasn't been
working out for us...
394
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,459
is because we are not
working with our full crew.
395
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:20,798
I'm the brains, you're the
looks, Charlie's the wild card
and Frank is the muscle.
396
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,534
Well, what's Dee?
She's the useless chick.
397
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,969
Ahh!Ahh!
Yeah.
398
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,737
Yeah.Yeah.
You see? We complete it.
399
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,606
We all complete the team.
400
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:32,176
Now if we stick together, guys,
we can do anything.
401
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,377
Now-- question.
402
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,646
Frank, does that waterboard
really work?
403
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,482
[ Laughs ]
You bet your ass.
404
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,517
I got Dee to admit
to things she never did.
405
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,220
Well, then it works.
Ha, ha! All right.
406
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,523
Then, gentlemen,
I got a new plan.
407
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:50,828
♪♪ [ Ghostbusters Theme ]
[ Tires Squeal ]
408
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,165
Okay, now, once we get
to Bruce's, we slip in
and we grab him.
409
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,701
Shouldn't you guys have
gotten these barrels out
of the van before we got in?
410
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,704
They're really heavy, Dee.
We've already had to do it,
like, a million times.
411
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:00,805
Where did you
get the money
for this gas?
412
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,607
Dee, will you shut up
and let me continue?
413
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,675
Frank, when we
get to the bar, you
waterboard the shit...
414
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,811
- out of Bruce
and get a confession.
- No problem.
415
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,679
Now, Dennis, you take that
confession to the police,
416
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:11,649
use your charm
and good looks, and
get that reward money.
417
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,483
Done and done.
418
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,518
Okay. Dee, you continue
to be useless.
419
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,920
Charlie and I will use that
reward money to pay off
our electricity bill.
420
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:19,790
Then we'll probably buy some
more gasoline because I feel
like that's a great plan.
421
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,259
- [ Pumping ]
- Wait.
422
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,694
Brakes don't--
Brakes don't work.
The gas pedal--
423
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,363
- No. I'm saying--
No. The brakes--
- Wiggle the gas pedal.
424
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,733
- Guys, why aren't
the brakes working?
- Because I cut the brakes.
425
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:32,937
Wild card, bitches!
Yee-haw.
426
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,639
What?
Holy shit.
427
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,674
- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.
428
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,509
Jesus Christ, guys.
I can't stop this van.
429
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,612
Seriously?
Abort.
Abort. Abort!
430
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:42,246
Go!
431
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,582
[ Man On TV ]
Mastersfield steps up
to the tee,
432
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,684
eight strokes behind
the leader.
433
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,854
Hole number 17,
338 yards, dogleg left--
434
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,689
[ Explosion ]
Aaah!
435
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:55,760
[ Groaning ]
[ Car Alarms Blaring ]
436
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:01,632
[ Car Alarms Continue ]
437
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,936
Oh, goddamn it.
What the hell, man?
438
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:08,739
[ Frank ]
Aw, my van.
439
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:13,277
Why is someone
trying to ruin my life?
440
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,379
I didn't do anything
to anybody, man.
441
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,415
I love that car.
That, uh--
442
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,651
I love that car, man.
That's not Bruce, is it?
443
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:24,655
- Nope.
- [ Moaning ]
444
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,425
[ Man ]
♪ When there's
something strange ♪
445
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,393
♪ In your neighborhood ♪
446
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:33,731
♪ Who you gonna call ♪
♪ Ghostbusters ♪
447
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,800
♪ If there's something weird ♪
448
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,501
♪ And it don't look good ♪
449
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:41,973
♪ Who you gonna call ♪
♪ Ghostbusters ♪♪
450
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:45,543
♪♪ [ Synthesizer Plays ]
451
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,649
I ain't 'fraid
of no ghost.
452
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,657
I ain't 'fraid
of no ghost.
453
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:06,631
[ Voices Speaking Backwards ]