1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:02,534 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:07,406 The only way that my dad is not going to kill us is if he thinks we're already dead. 3 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:10,109 - [ Dee ] What is that? - A glory hole. 4 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,510 A hole to stick your dick in? 5 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,545 What is the password? Orgy. 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:17,783 I'm gonna gun this car as fast as it goes directly into that wall. 7 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,351 [ Tires Screech ] 8 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:24,189 According to the Philadelphia Police Department, Mac and Charlie are dead. 9 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,591 I can't believe they're dead. 10 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:30,763 - You got any plans for the outside? - I got some big plans. 11 00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:05,564 ♪♪ [ Classical ] 12 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,568 Um, okay. Well, I guess this is probably-- this is probably gonna be it. 13 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:16,708 So, we should get started. Uh, what to say about Mac. 14 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:20,813 Um, he certainly was... 15 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,314 angry. 16 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,750 - Burn the duster! - I'm not burning the duster! 17 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,454 Okay? I'm not burning the duster. All right? That's crazy. 18 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:32,458 That's like-- That's insane. Why would I ever burn-- I mean, come on. 19 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:36,295 I will continue to wear it in his honor. And I will burn some other things. 20 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:39,264 You know, maybe like these stupid, goddamn sleeveless T-shirts... 21 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,401 that he wants "retired" and hung up in the bar, I'll burn these. 22 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,903 But I am not burning the duster, okay? So forget it. 23 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,273 It probably won't even burn anyway. It's not supposed to. It's flame-retardant. 24 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,810 That's like the whole point. It's like a shield of armor. 25 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:57,149 So stop asking me to burn the duster. I'm not gonna burn it! 26 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:01,920 So, end of story. You know? 27 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,789 Let's just move on. 28 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,658 ♪♪ [ Classical Continues ] 29 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,594 Okay? 30 00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:13,465 So, yeah. 31 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,567 All right. Well, uh, thank you. 32 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,675 Come on. No. I'm not doing it. 33 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:24,943 Come on! No! 34 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,280 Deandra, get on that stage! 35 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,518 Before Mac and Charlie died, they made a slide show. 36 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:37,556 And, uh, we're gonna play a song that was a favorite of theirs. 37 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,525 Go ahead. Yeah. 38 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,895 [ Man ] ♪ It's all the same ♪ 39 00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:45,931 ♪ Only the names will change ♪ 40 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,433 ♪ Every day ♪ 41 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:52,404 ♪ It seems we're wasting away ♪ 42 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,507 ♪ Another place ♪ 43 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:59,344 ♪ Where the faces are so cold ♪ 44 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,747 ♪ I drive all night ♪ 45 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:05,484 ♪ Just to get back home ♪ 46 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,487 ♪ I'm a cowboy ♪ 47 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:12,257 ♪ On a steel horse I ride ♪ 48 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,860 ♪ I'm wanted ♪ 49 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:19,398 ♪ Dead or alive ♪ [ Frank ] I'm gonna miss you, Charlie. 50 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,967 [ Mac ] This is bullshit, dude. No one's mourning me properly. 51 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,936 What are you talking about, man? There's nobody here. 52 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,804 Your mom's sitting right there, man. She's mourning you. 53 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:29,975 Yeah. She watched an entire episode of Mama's Family and fell asleep. 54 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,544 - Yeah. - And now I'm gonna give them the one-gun salute. 55 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,647 No, no, no, no. No, you're not. Okay. All right. I got it. 56 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,783 Oh, my God! Let go! 57 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,619 Wow. That was great and very touching. 58 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:43,689 Thanks so much for coming, both of you. 59 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,291 - Time to go. See you at the next one. - [ Grunts ] 60 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:50,629 Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie. [ Sighs ] It's gonna... be okay. 61 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,800 Tell you what. Why don't you go into the bathroom, go into the center stall. 62 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:58,470 I got a little surprise for you. It's gonna cheer you up. 63 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:02,774 That's okay, Frankie. I don't need to go potty. 64 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,477 No? 65 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,413 Oh, damn it. 66 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,514 [ Exhales ] Wow. 67 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:13,051 Can you believe it, Sis? They're actually gone. This changes everything. 68 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,920 I need a ride home. Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. 69 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,789 No, no, no. Can't do that, Sis. Gotta get back home A.S.A.P. 70 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,659 I'm meeting a couple of potential new roommates. Hot ones. 71 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,061 You know what I'm saying? [ Chuckles ] All right. 72 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,765 Hey, it's time to move on. 73 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,343 [ Panting ] 74 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:41,813 Would you mind not breathing directly into my mouth? 75 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:46,585 No thoughts on that? You're not gonna say anything? 76 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,921 You're just gonna stare at me? That's what you're bringing to the table. 77 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:54,826 That's great. I'm gonna-- Could you excuse me? 78 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,730 Excuse me. Just for a second. Thank you. Okay. 79 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,867 Excuse-- Excuse me. 80 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,770 Sir. Goddamn. 81 00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,406 Thanks. I'm just gonna-- Excuse me. 82 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,008 Excuse me. I'm just gonna-- Okay. 83 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,778 Of course, let me do it. 84 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:14,946 Thanks. 85 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:19,851 Hi. Oh, my God. It's a freak show back there. 86 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:23,088 Ma'am, I'm gonna need for you to step behind the line. Yeah, look. 87 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,690 As you can probably tell, I'm not really a "bus person." 88 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:29,428 It's just a couple of dicks destroyed my car and forced me to lower myself to this. 89 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,930 So, if you could just cut me some slack because... 90 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,533 I don't know if you've been back there, but animals. 91 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,668 You're touching me. This isn't weird for you? 92 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,738 Ma'am, either you get behind the line or your ride ends here. 93 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,773 I'm behind the line. You're on the line. 94 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,009 On the line, behind the line, who cares? 95 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,678 That's it. I'm pulling the bus over. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 96 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,482 Goddamn it! Don't pull the bus over. Really? 97 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,116 Okay, fine. You know what? 98 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:54,419 I will go back behind the line with the rest of the filthy degenerates. 99 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:58,857 But I am not happy about it, lady. Excuse me! 100 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,126 Oh, my God. Really? Oh, my God. 101 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:02,527 Oh, no. You stay put. I'll get it. 102 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:07,699 I'm on the floor of a bus. On the floor of a filthy bus. Excuse me for just a second! 103 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,703 Damn it. I can't believe Dee finally caught on and canceled her credit card. 104 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,473 This is really not good, dude. Now we don't have any beans. 105 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,641 We don't have any beer. We're shit out of luck. Tell you what. 106 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,678 We'll get back to the bar, get beer there. At least we'll have that. 107 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,680 That's not a bad idea. In the meantime, I need a popper. 108 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:26,151 I gotta get my head straight. I got bad news on the popper front. This is the last one. 109 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,185 Shit. Really? Yeah. 110 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:31,556 All right. Well, I think I should get it. No. 111 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,991 I gotta-- Not going to happen. 112 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,160 Can I just have it? Can I just have it? Bro. 113 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,995 Will you let me do the poppers? I just want it. 114 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,799 I just need it, dude. Will you let me be the popper person? 115 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:44,202 Give me the popper, dude! I need that popper! 116 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,838 I gotta have the popper! 117 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,844 Oh, you son of a bitches! Hey, look out! 118 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,713 Look out! 119 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,481 Hey! Hey! 120 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,150 [ Banging Window ] Hey, you jerks! 121 00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,852 Goddamn it! Move out of the way! 122 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,988 Hey, no! Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 123 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,957 [ Woman ] Shut up, stupid! You shut up, bitch! 124 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,225 Stop the bus! I need-- 125 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:11,530 Sir. Sir. I need to pull the cord to get off the bus. This is my stop. 126 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,199 You're in my way. Can you get out of the way so I can pull the cord? 127 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:18,637 I'll get out of your way as soon as I get off-- Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? 128 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:21,840 Goddamn it, you bitches! 129 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,113 [ Gasps ] 130 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,685 I hate the bus. 131 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,861 Good-bye, Mac's shit. Good-bye, Mac's shit. 132 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:46,198 Good-bye, Mac's shit. Good-bye, Mac-- 133 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,034 Come on, dude. When were you ever gonna use nunchakus? 134 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:53,605 Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ. [ Knocks ] 135 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,775 Uh, yeah. Hang on one second. 136 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,645 All right. 137 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,848 Yeah, it's perfect. 138 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,249 Pow. Hello. Oh. 139 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,218 Uh, hi. Um, can I help you? 140 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:09,554 [ German Accent ] You're looking for a roommate, right? 141 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:12,924 Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was looking for two, actually. Female? 142 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,093 I believe I was pretty clear in the ad here. 143 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,896 "Male, 30, looking for Three's Company type deal. 144 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,699 Did Odd Couple thing for past decade. Looking for something new." 145 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,734 Yeah. I did the Three's Company thing once. Oh, yeah? 146 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,671 It was pretty cool, for like a week. And then I banged one of them. 147 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,906 Oh. Nice. Not nice. 148 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:31,576 Do you know what this is like, banging a chick that you live with? 149 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,111 It's terrible, man. Bah-bah-bah. 150 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:36,314 Every day you have to deal with this. Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah. 151 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,917 [ Spits ] "Get out, lady." Hmm, yeah. Yeah. 152 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,319 Wow, yeah. I guess I never really thought about that before. 153 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:44,756 You know, you're much smarter than my old roommate. 154 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,859 Yeah, look. I'm gonna be up front with you. 155 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,562 I run with a pretty wild crew. 156 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:53,598 There's probably gonna be chicks over here, like, all the time. 157 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,735 Yeah? I'm into some pretty crazy shit. 158 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,336 [ Laughs ] Here's the best part. 159 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,639 I don't even know most of their names. Oh. 160 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:03,108 Mm-mmm. Yes, it's like-- Wow, yeah. 161 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:07,045 I've been trying to get into the anonymous sex thing lately. Oh, yeah? 162 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,648 Now are you, uh, European? 163 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,584 Oh, I'm sorry. What gave it away? 164 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,685 [ Both Laugh ] 165 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,420 Nice. Yeah, well-- You know, 166 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,791 I could probably consider like a Perfect Strangers type of deal. 167 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,159 Hmm? Look. 168 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:24,696 I like this by the way. This is a sweet duster. 169 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:34,272 First he doesn't burn the duster, and now he's looking for new roommates? 170 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,974 Why did you want to burn that duster anyway? 171 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,944 Because he always wears it with no shirt and a shit load of cologne. 172 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,079 - It's totally ruined. - Hello, bitches! 173 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,180 Jesus Christ, Dee! Whoa! 174 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,182 You scared the shit out of me. I almost dropped all my beer. 175 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:47,886 I knew you two weren't dead. What are you doing popping out of our tent? 176 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,854 Not cool, Dee! Oh, not cool? 177 00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:53,058 I'll tell you what's not cool. Crashing my car into a building, 178 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:53,959 exploding a grenade inside of it, 179 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:57,062 and then convincing your friends and your family that you're dead. 180 00:09:57,064 --> 00:10:00,832 That's one of the cooler things you could ever do. Unbelievably cool. 181 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,702 I suggest you try it. Cooler than I originally thought it was. 182 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,338 I don't know why you're up here doing whatever. And I don't care. 183 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:09,441 What I do care about is my 1997 Dodge Neon. So here's the deal. 184 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:13,144 You two monkeys are going get me a new 1997 Dodge Neon. 185 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,181 Or I'm going to tell Frank and Dennis that you faked your own deaths... 186 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,482 and you're hiding up on the roof. 187 00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:22,087 Now you're just talking crazy. You can't buy a new 1997 Dodge Neon. 188 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,623 You can't buy a new one unless you had a time machine. 189 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,790 New to me. Dee, you got bigger problems. 190 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:29,127 Because my dad just got out of jail, and he's coming to kill you. 191 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,962 What? Me? Are you sure? Yeah. 192 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,965 Kill you, kill us, kill everybody really. He's gonna kill everyone. 193 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,267 Why would you not tell me this news earlier? Oh, my God. 194 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:40,105 Get off our case, Dee. What's done is done. Mac and I are hobo drifters now. 195 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:43,241 - We don't dwell on the past. - Hobo drifters live in the present. 196 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:47,112 If you really want to get back at Frank and Dennis, you gotta fake your own death. 197 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:51,082 I don't want to get back at Frank and Dennis! I want to get back at you two! 198 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:54,319 Really? Is that what your plan was? Yes! 199 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,087 I tuned out during the whole tirade. 200 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,456 The 1997 Dodge Neon thing-- It threw you for a loop? 201 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,759 No, come on! I tell you what. Here's the plan. 202 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,193 Why don't you fake your own death like us? Yes. 203 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:05,096 It really is the only thing you can do now 'cause you're in this too deep. 204 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,932 Look, you want to die? Okay. 205 00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,769 Now, what's your bean situation? 206 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:14,706 Yeah. You got some beans on you? Or what's up? 207 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,152 Good-bye, Son. 208 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,959 [ Chuckles ] 209 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,464 ♪♪ [ Dance Rock ] 210 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,834 Hey, Jan. Oh, man, I gotta tell you, this is awesome. 211 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,336 It's making me forget that Mac ever even died. Oh, yeah. 212 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,906 Just relax, roommate. I'm gonna relax. 213 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:52,043 I'm gonna relax all over the place in a second. [ Knocks ] 214 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,378 What? 215 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,047 Oh, shit. Jan? [ Knocks ] 216 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,817 All righty. I gotta get this. 217 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:00,919 Hey, Dennis. Really? What do you want? 218 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:04,489 Wanted to let you know I was gonna go for a quick jog in Fairmont Park by myself. 219 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,491 Great. Okay. Have fun. It's kind of dangerous. 220 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:09,260 I got it, Dee. Go jogging! I'm not wearing anything reflective. 221 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,030 What does it have to do with me? Just go jog! Just me out there... 222 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:15,433 in the middle of the night by myself. Goddamn it! 223 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:19,304 Sorry about her. She's a bag lady. I hate her. 224 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:23,041 Whoa, Dennis! Which one do you want first, huh? 225 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,943 Greta or Sasha? Oh, shit! 226 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,213 Why'd you do that, bro? Come here, man. What did I do? 227 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:32,417 You said their names. Oh, come on, man. That kills it for me. 228 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,052 Look, bro. Can I be honest with you? 229 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,921 This is great, but I was really hoping for more of like... 230 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,859 an anything-goes, crazy, European, sex-party kind of a thing. 231 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,428 Something a little kinkier? Kinky? Yeah. 232 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,064 Oh, yeah. Kinky. Yeah, yeah, I like this. 233 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,199 You like this. We both, we like this. 234 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:51,102 Oh, oh! Yeah, let me make some calls. 235 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,104 You think you can put something like that together? 236 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,907 Of course I can. I'm European. Oh, man. 237 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,142 Huh? Oh! 238 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,310 That's-- [ Hissing ] 239 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,479 [ Both Laughing ] 240 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,547 Wow. Yeah. 241 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,150 Looks like he's got a lot of new friends. Yes, I can see that. 242 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,385 Some of them are really pretty girls. Yes, they are very pretty. 243 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,555 Wow, that's tough, man. That's a tough thing to see, huh? 244 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:14,492 Shut up, dude. I'll bet you Frank is throwing a party too. 245 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,262 It's your turn to take the bedpan out tonight. 246 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:21,032 [ Imitating Charlie ] No, no, Frank! I did it last time! 247 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,868 No, Charlie. I got up in the middle of the night... 248 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,905 and I walked down the hallway with the bedpan. 249 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,574 [ Imitating Charlie ] All right, Frank! I'll do it! 250 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:33,611 Only because I like you so much! 251 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,347 [ Crying ] I like you, too, Charlie. 252 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:42,854 I like you, too, new Charlie. New Charlie. 253 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:48,493 You know what, man? I'm kicking it up a notch. We're haunting these bitches. 254 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,595 - Haunting's cool, man. - Boom! Coming back from the grave, bitch. 255 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:54,499 That's cool. What is this? What are you doing? Like Poltergeist or something? 256 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,601 Awesome, right? Craig T. Nelson! No, not awesome. 257 00:13:56,603 --> 00:14:00,171 Craig T. Nelson is the best, dude. But Poltergeist? [ Blows Raspberry ] 258 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,339 Why? It's not scary. 259 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,075 It's all about psychological damage. Big deal. 260 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,610 Look at me. Psychological damage up to here. 261 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:09,948 Doesn't do anything for me. Physical damage, that's what's gonna irritate people. 262 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:13,618 What do you suggest? If anything, maybe we tie some knives to our fingers, 263 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,354 and we get a little more serious about this whole murder thing. 264 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,958 Haunting. We're gonna haunt. Haunting! I was thinking "dead." 265 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,595 You guys! I'm so happy to see you! Oh, God! I had the weirdest night! 266 00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:27,899 It was crazy! As soon as I left Dennis's place, I realized I don't have a car. 267 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,501 So I do have to run home through the park in the middle of the night. 268 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:33,471 So I'm on Spring Garden Street and this big car full of gangbangers-- 269 00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,507 Gangbangers, that is an awesome story, Dee! That's the end of it, right? 270 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,343 Charlie and I are right in the middle of something. 271 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,079 We're gonna put some knives on our fingers and start murdering people. 272 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,780 - Haunting people. We're gonna haunt people. - Whatever. 273 00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:45,583 - You're gonna do like a Poltergeist thing. - Shh! 274 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,619 [ People Laughing ] It's Dennis. 275 00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:50,054 That's Dennis. Back office. 276 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,690 - [ Dennis ] All right! - Oh, yeah. 277 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,993 This is wunderbar! Ladies! 278 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,661 [ Dennis ] Pop 'em off! Start poppin' 'em off! 279 00:14:56,663 --> 00:15:01,599 I love it, I love it. Hey, feel free to be free. No American judgments here. 280 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,669 The only rule is don't tell me your names. 281 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,604 I don't want to know your names, okay? 282 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:10,408 [ Imitating Charlie ] Hi, I'm Charlie. Oh, I love these girls! 283 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:14,212 Frank! What are you doing, man? You're freaking the girls out with this mannequin. 284 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:19,150 Get rid of it! Dennis, these girls are German. 285 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:19,617 German! 286 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:23,054 [ Imitating Charlie ] We're gonna have demented sex, right, Frank? 287 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,356 - Yeah! - ♪♪ [ Dance Rock ] 288 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,392 That is the greatest party I've ever seen. These sons of bitches! 289 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:31,529 Is he gonna take that stupid little mannequin everywhere? That is freaking me out! 290 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:36,501 They're hanging out with half-naked ladies and I just ran and sweated for nothing? 291 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:39,037 I don't sound like that. Goddamn it! Get past it! 292 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,572 Who cares about the mannequin? I care about the mannequin! 293 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,241 I look like a jerk in front of those girls. 294 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,143 I'm putting an end to this right now. Screw your dad. 295 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,478 Let him eat our asses. Let him eat my butt into smithereens. 296 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,715 I'm ending this. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 297 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,450 Let's not be rash. I mean, come on. 298 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,687 If we're not gonna haunt them, we should have a little fun, right? 299 00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:57,322 Let's scare the shit out of them. Yeah. 300 00:15:57,324 --> 00:16:02,026 - We gotta make an entrance. - Oh, let's scare the shit out of them. 301 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:05,463 ♪♪ [ Continues ] 302 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:10,802 Dennis! Jan, this is what I want, man. 303 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,705 You've given me what I want! Ja. Shh, shh. 304 00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:17,608 Look, I have this very kinky surprise for you, my friend. Oh, yeah? 305 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:22,580 Yeah. I've arranged for you to use... the glory hole! 306 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:26,117 [ Laughs ] I forgot about the glory hole. Ja. Ja, ja, ja! 307 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,219 I've just sent someone in there now. Yeah? 308 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:32,657 Totally anonymous. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh! 309 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,694 Jan, there are no words, man. 310 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:41,299 That's right. I'm the boss. But I'm a good boss. 311 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,168 And I'm gonna allow you to watch. [ Door Opens ] 312 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,137 [ Imitating Charlie ] Okay, Frank, I-- 313 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,540 [ Door Closes ] Shh! Somebody's coming. 314 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:55,446 Any minute now, the German broad is gonna knock on that wall, 315 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,349 which is my signal to go in my pants, 316 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:02,253 take out my penis, and stick it through the hole. 317 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,222 [ Laughs ] Then she can go to town! 318 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:08,292 [ Dennis ] Hey, honey. You want to take care of this monster for me or what? 319 00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:12,597 There's no way I can picture that is a girl. Frank? 320 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:16,234 - Dennis! - What the hell are you doing here, man? 321 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,836 Jan sent me! Jan sent me too! 322 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:22,440 - This is bad. - Everybody out! 323 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,176 There has been a major miscommunication! 324 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:29,747 Get your European, sex, freaky asses out of the bar. Let's go. 325 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:32,583 Come on. Come on. Move it. Move it. That's right. 326 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,319 Let's go, ladies. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Get out! 327 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,456 Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Hey, you, too, Jan. 328 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,525 Hey, beat it! What did I do? 329 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:44,395 What did you do? Jan, you were gonna have him glory hole me! 330 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,431 Ja. Yeah, my ass! Get out of here! 331 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,200 Are you kidding me? You sex freak! You Americans are so uptight! 332 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,303 You ruined our glory hole. Beat it. And shut the door. 333 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:56,340 Sick freak. You didn't know anything about that? Weirdo. What? 334 00:17:57,176 --> 00:18:00,178 Kaboom! Surprise, bitches! 335 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:03,748 We're alive! And it's blowing your minds right now! 336 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,183 [ Cackling ] 337 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:08,586 It is not blowing our minds at all. I knew you guys were alive. 338 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:12,390 - [ Mac, Dennis ] Huh? - I knew you guys were alive, okay? 339 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:15,226 - I figured it out right before the funeral. - How? 340 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:18,463 I could hear you guys rustling around in the vents. You were speaking at full volume. 341 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:22,667 Did you think you were being crafty? I could see you staring at me through the window! 342 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:25,403 I can see through my windows. I wanted to piss you off. 343 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,171 What about me? Did you want to piss me off? 344 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,874 Uh, you, I thought might've actually been murdered. 345 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:33,578 That's what I thought. So hold on a second. Frank, you knew too? 346 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,614 Yeah. I knew. 347 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:44,188 And some of the stuff you've been doing with this mannequin here, that's, like, um-- 348 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,824 to teach me a lesson, or-- 349 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,093 Yeah. 350 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:52,363 Did I see you bang that thing? All right, you know what? 351 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,934 Why were you guys pretending that you were dead anyway? That's a messed-up thing to do. 352 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,871 My dad got out on parole and he's coming to kill me and Charlie. 353 00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,807 You got a letter the other day. He sent a letter. 354 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,843 - Who sent a letter? - I got it. I got it. It was sent to the bar. 355 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:10,248 "Dear Son, I asked you to leave me be." Yada, yada, yada. 356 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:15,586 "Forced me to do something that I hoped I'd never have to do." Oh, yeah. Here we go. 357 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,356 "I just got out of prison and I'm heading to Tijuana. 358 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:23,761 "I wanted to get as far away from you as I could so that I could learn how to forgive you. 359 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:27,632 "Please do not try to contact me ever. 360 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,501 "I promise that I'm not gonna hurt you. Love, Dad. 361 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,770 P.S. I still love you." 362 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,806 Hmm. 363 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,376 Oops. [ Both Laugh ] 364 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,977 Because we-- This whole thing-- 365 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,281 - We didn't have to do all the-- - Yeah, yeah. 366 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,250 Sorry about your car, Dee. 367 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:51,155 ♪♪ [ People Singing In Spanish ] 368 00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:04,168 ♪♪ [ Continues ] 369 00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:30,528 ♪♪ [ Continues ] 370 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:39,604 [ Voices Speaking Backwards ]