1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:05,604
[ Lighter Clicks ]
[ Water Bubbling ]
2
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:09,975
[ Coughing ]
3
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:15,080
[ Lighter Clicks ]
[ Inhaling Deeply ]
4
00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:18,484
What the shit is this?
5
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,652
Cheech over here
bought himself a bong.
6
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,655
[ Laughs, Coughs ]
Deandra, this is wacky.
7
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,325
Go download me a hoagie
off the Internet.
8
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,394
[ Dennis Laughing ]
I'm sorry?
9
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:31,363
Those words don't
make any sen-- sense.
10
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,366
Oh! God, you guys.
Oh, weird. I feel weird.
11
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,236
Rip another one.
Say something else
stupid.
12
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,371
My arm's kinda numb.
Dennis, feel my head.
Am I hot?
13
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,707
I'm not touching you.
We're enjoying ourselves
over here.
14
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,842
I'm serious, you guys.
Something's not right.
15
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,412
- You think there's
pigeons in the bar?
- [ Mac ] What?
16
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,381
- Pigeons in the bar.
- I mean, really serious.
I need some help.
17
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,316
[ Frank Laughing ]
[ Mac ]
Good one.
18
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:55,320
God, what is her problem?
I don't know.
19
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:30,355
- [ Mac ] So, heart attack.
- Yeah. Yikes.
20
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:31,657
That's what I was
trying to say.
21
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,860
The E.M.T. says
I'm a ticking time bomb,
'cause it was just a little one.
22
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,895
I didn't know women
could have heart attacks.
It's crazy.
23
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:40,732
What's scary about
this whole thing is that
I have the same genes as her.
24
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,501
I'm concerned for myself
and Charlie as well.
25
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,636
We lead a very
rock-and-roll lifestyle.
I know.
26
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,339
I just had a heart attack.
Can we focus on me
for two minutes?
27
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,308
I feel like we did
talk about you.
Dee, your ship has sailed.
28
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,511
It's time to move on to us--
the people who are
going to live on.
29
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,379
Guys, we gotta make sure
that this does not
happen to us.
30
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:57,416
That's the important thing here.
We need to focus on ourselves.
[ Woman ] Ms. Reynolds?
31
00:01:57,418 --> 00:02:00,519
Doctor, thank God.
Listen, let's just do
all the tests you've got.
32
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,788
I feel like the big one's
right around the corner.
33
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,389
Well, actually,
Miss Reynolds,
34
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,459
first we need to discuss
how you'll be paying
for your stay.
35
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,394
Paying?
This is a hospital.
36
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:13,732
- Yeah. Since when do you pay
to stay in a hospital?
- Since always.
37
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,501
No. I believe
that is what taxes
are for.
38
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:18,737
You don't pay a fireman
to put out a fire.
Or a cop to shoot a guy.
39
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,607
How do you not know how
this works? You've been
in a hospital before.
40
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,375
I guess I must've
slipped through the cracks.
41
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,678
I do always give a fake name,
'cause I like to stay
off the grid.
42
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,447
They usually give me
a bunch of antibiotics.
43
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,882
The sores go away,
and I walk out.
44
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,783
Shut up! Doctor,
I have health insurance.
45
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,819
Yeah. We're on
our father's policy.
46
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,755
You guys! Check out
this cool gown.
47
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,858
Whoa. Really
lets your ass breathe.
48
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,427
-Oh, my God!
-Son of a bitch!
-Why are you wearing that thing?
49
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:46,365
I'm gettin' a full body scan.
I've been partying
real hard lately.
50
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,367
Whatever. She needs to see
the insurance card.
51
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,736
I canceled that shit
when you were nine.
52
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,639
What, you canceled
our insurance policy?
What?
53
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:54,840
What, am I gonna carry
that burden around?
54
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:58,410
You couldn't have given us
a heads-up about that
a long time ago?
55
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,945
Okay. Let me
get this straight.
56
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:03,348
Miss Reynolds, you have
no health insurance.
57
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,285
No, I don't.
58
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,819
Okay.
59
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,422
Well, get out.
60
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,928
- [ Both Exhale ]
- Wow. Harsh.
61
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:19,698
Why is the government
not providing us
with health insurance?
62
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,301
What is this,
like, some kind
of socialist country...
63
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,336
or some kind of
communist dictatorship?
64
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,471
This is insane.
This is un-American.
I don't know, bro.
65
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,974
You don't pay
for health insurance.
That's crazy.
66
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:32,311
We need to find insurance ASAP.
We're gonna get sick
eventually.
67
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,514
We just find
a couple of side jobs.
That way, we'll have insurance.
68
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,517
And when disaster inevitably
occurs, we'll be covered.
We'll be covered.
69
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:42,721
Okay, here we go.
"Position available.
Major sales corporation.
70
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,990
Motivated individuals.
Good interpersonal skills."
71
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,492
You don't have
to say any more.
That's us.
72
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,561
"Salary and benefits."
73
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,063
Yo!
[ Mac ]
Jesus.
74
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,699
Hey.
Why are you still
wearing that thing?
75
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,568
Did you wear that
all the way here?
I let my ass breathe.
76
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,371
You keep saying that,
but I don't know
what it means.
77
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,607
Yeah. How does
an ass breathe?
Explain that to me.
78
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,609
Just leave me alone!
I can't get worked up.
79
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,877
My doctor told me
not to get worked up.
80
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,546
I'm under
too much stress.
81
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:11,016
Yeah.
That's a lot
of pills, dude.
82
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,851
That's the beauty
of havin' insurance.
83
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,688
You can get
the top-quality
antianxiety drugs.
84
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,790
Wow. You got
a lot of 'em, huh?
85
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,359
Mmm.
What are you doin'?
86
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:23,428
I'm takin' them
because I can't
sift through the duds.
87
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,465
I gotta take 'em all.
I gotta get healthy
really fast.
88
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,966
You're takin' them
all at once?
Yeah.
89
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:30,769
I don't think
that's a good idea.
It seems a bit aggressive.
90
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,005
I know what I'm doin'!
91
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,374
♪♪ [ Background: Techno ]
[ Dennis ] This is great, Dee.
This is perfect.
92
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,943
Getting in shape is, like,
the best health insurance
you can get.
93
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,646
You take care of your body,
you don't need a doctor.
I want that.
94
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,381
That's exactly right.
You look good,
you feel good.
95
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:46,084
It's all connected.
You're talking about
the mind-body-abs connection.
96
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,387
I would personally
like to get some
side abs goin'.
97
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,289
You wanna get
some side abs?
That's a good idea.
98
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,791
You know what
I'm concerned about?
I don't wanna get too bulky.
99
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,159
I wanna stay nice and lean
and tight.
100
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,595
I wanna get that
"Jesus on the cross" look.
I see what you're saying.
101
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:59,031
I think that crucifixion
must've been really good
for your core.
102
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:02,601
Absolutely. Jesus had,
like, the best abs.
He had the right idea.
103
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,069
He knew.
No pain, no gain.
104
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,138
He had good messages.
I'm sure he started that.
105
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,073
Let's do some cardio
since we're here.
106
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,808
Here we are. Let's get
our blood pumpin'.
107
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,345
Let's hop on these treadmills
and, uh, let's do this thing.
108
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,680
Let's do it.
All right.
109
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:17,482
I-I-- I don't know
if I'm ready.
I'm not feeling ready.
110
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,851
I'll tell you why.
I feel a little low-energy.
That's what it is.
111
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:25,157
We need to fuel up.
I see people utilizing a lot of
shakes and powders around here.
112
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:25,991
We should probably
look into that.
113
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,393
You know what else
we should do--
get some new outfits.
114
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,662
Let's get some new outfits.
That's a great idea.
115
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,964
You decided to rock jeans.
I'm confused by that.
116
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:36,601
Yeah. I chose jeans.
I'm not seeing a lot
of other jeans.
117
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,669
I've never seen jeans
in a gym.
118
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,539
Okay, look. That's fine.
This is what we'll do.
We'll dial it back.
119
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,574
We'll get fueled up.
We'll get some sick
new outfits.
120
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,277
And then we'll come back
and work out.
Boom. Let's go.
121
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,181
[ Paper Rustles ]
[ Man ] "Official résumé
of Mac and Charlie."
122
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,817
So both of you are--
Well, gentlemen,
123
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,553
I've never seen two people
share a résumé before.
124
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,589
Well, we thought
we'd save paper,
you know, go green.
125
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,859
Uh, "Work experience.
Paddy's Pub management...
126
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:06,031
and duties that include
ordering supplies and
taking care of business."
127
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:06,832
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
T.C.O.B.
128
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,768
"Business coordinator.
For several year"--
I don't know who this is.
129
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:14,039
Coordinator.
Okay. "For several years,
I've been in complete charge...
130
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,508
of pretty much everything
in my life."
131
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,844
I don't miss a beat.
That would actually
be him.
132
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,178
Not-- Pretty much
everything.
133
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,748
There are certain things
that you just can't have
control of, sir.
134
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,984
But I think you'll find
that what we lack
in formal education,
135
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,986
we more than make up for
in street smarts.
Mm-hmm.
136
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,523
Okay? So we can wheel.
We can deal. We can oversee
hostile takeovers.
137
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,058
Whatever you need,
bud.
You name it.
138
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:37,028
It's a mail-room gig.
And there's only
one spot available.
139
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,864
Mmm.
Ooh.
140
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,466
Kind of a package deal.
We sort of work
as a team.
141
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:45,971
- What if we split the pay
right down the middle?
- You'd be willing to do that?
142
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,540
Oh, yeah. This has
nothin' to do
with money.
143
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,676
This is sort of
a health insurance
situation for us.
144
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,812
So, frankly, you don't
even really have
to pay us at all.
145
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,815
[ Chuckling ]
Well, legally, I have
to pay you something.
146
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,718
But, uh, minimum wage
maybe--
147
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,052
Minimum wage.
Are you kiddin' me?
148
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,656
That's great.
That's a government salary
right there.
149
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:08,026
Well, you drive a hard bargain.
The job is both of yours.
150
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,529
Congratulations.
Congratulations
to you.
151
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,531
Bro.
Yeah. Minimum wage.
152
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,800
Minimum wage.
All right.
153
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,703
♪♪ [ Background: Loud Techno ]
154
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,607
Fat burner?
I'm already on
a nitric oxide energy stack.
155
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,777
But, yeah, sure,
I'll take some fat burner.
Why not?
156
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,612
All right, everybody.
157
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:28,847
Before we begin today,
158
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:32,284
are there any
physical ailments that
I should know about first?
159
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:35,020
- Yeah. I just had
a heart attack.
- Excuse me?
160
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,689
I just had a heart attack.
Maybe you should turn
this techno music down.
161
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:41,827
Yeah. I gotta be honest, buddy.
I'm not really feelin'
these tunes.
162
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,528
♪♪ [ Stops ]
Boom.
There we go. Ah.
163
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:46,832
What are you doin'?
I'm riflin'
through your music.
164
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,000
And it's pretty terrible.
You know what?
Put it down.
165
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,169
[ Dee ]
Does he have any '80s?
Doesn't appear to.
166
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:54,072
It seems like he's got
a bunch of goddamn
dance mixes.
167
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:58,610
Whoa. Hang on. It's all good.
I got a Steve Winwood CD
in my car. I'll go grab that.
168
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,946
Listen, don't-don't do that.
Please don't do that.
169
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,314
What's wrong
with Steve Winwood?
Yeah, man.
170
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:06,184
- "Higher Love"? It's a classic.
- I pick the music
in this class, okay?
171
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,187
Oh.
Oh. No, no, no.
I apologize.
172
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,022
I had no idea that this
was all about you.
173
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,625
I don't think you should
even be here if you just
had a heart attack.
174
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,194
Well, maybe you shouldn't
dress like a bumblebee,
bitch.
175
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:19,631
[ Laughing ]
Oh! You just
got dogged, bro.
176
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,066
You just got dogged.
177
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,267
Guys, please,
leave my class.
178
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,871
[ Laughing ]
Spin class. Come on.
Bunch of hamsters on a wheel.
179
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,173
I'm gonna ride a bike hard,
I'm gonna ride a bike fast,
180
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,741
and, oh, yeah, I'm not
gonna go anywhere.
181
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,677
Then when I walk out,
I'm gonna put a bunch of metal
onto a metal bar...
182
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,212
and lift that metal
over and over
like a metal jerk.
183
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:38,016
I gotta be honest. I feel
these supplements are doing
a great job on their own.
184
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,718
Know what I mean?
I got tons of energy.
185
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,853
My heart rate's up.
Things are going great.
Absolutely.
186
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,956
I feel good too.
Look how vascular I am.
Look how my veins are poppin'.
187
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,791
Holy shit.
I look good,
and I feel good.
188
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:50,295
I feel good, too,
apart from the recent bouts
of explosive diarrhea.
189
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,831
Oh. You been havin'
diarrhea?
Oh, God. All over the place.
190
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:56,635
You know what that is?
That's probably your body
flushing out all the toxins.
191
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:57,936
You think so?
I do think so.
192
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,171
I, on the other hand,
have not taken a shit
in days.
193
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,074
Days?
That doesn't sound good.
No, it's good.
194
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,242
My body's working
at 100% efficiency.
195
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,913
My body is absorbing every
single nutrient, and it's
not wasting a single thing.
196
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,814
Your body's taking its job
very seriously.
197
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,083
My body is doing its job
like it's never done before.
198
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,252
We're gonna start climbing
just a little more.
199
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,321
Thirty percent
more resistance.
200
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,623
Why don't we
up the supplements,
which we know work,
201
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,091
and eliminate working out,
which we know blows?
202
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:23,128
That sounds like a good plan.
I'm gonna take it
one step further...
203
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,363
and propose that we
start working on a muscle...
204
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,299
that we've been neglecting
this entire time.
205
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,901
It's the most important
muscle in the entire body.
206
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,403
Which muscle?
The face.
207
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:32,871
♪♪ [ "Higher Love"
Plays ]
208
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:36,007
That's a gift for you,
bumblebee.
209
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,109
Come on.
Enjoy it,
Coach Dickenballs.
210
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:42,147
♪ Bring me a higher love
Oh, oh ♪
211
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:45,750
♪ Bring me a higher love ♪♪
212
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,752
♪♪ [ Fades Out ]
213
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,988
Mr. Taylor--
whose grandpa
was a sailor.
214
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,857
There you go, Mr. Scott--
who drinks his coffee hot.
215
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,961
There it is, Mr. White--
whose wife is not
too bright.
216
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,062
There you go.
217
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,230
Dude, I'm trying to network
by the water cooler.
218
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,433
And I'm doing
both of our jobs here.
Wanna help out, okay?
219
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,602
The mail doesn't stop
down there, Mac.
I need help.
220
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,404
This is Felix's pile.
He receives for Eric.
He receives for Janet.
221
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,708
Don't ever look Janet
in the eyes, because she's
a horrible devil woman.
222
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,977
I feel like you are
taking this shit
way too seriously.
223
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,212
Will you just help me out?
This is Johnson's mail.
224
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,082
Now Johnson's gone AWOL
for the week with the wife
and kids down in Orlando.
225
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:21,019
I want you to keep a pile
in a neat stack somewhere
that's all Johnson's mail.
226
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,354
Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second.
227
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:24,055
This guy's in Orlando
for the week?
Yeah, man.
228
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:27,993
Help me out here.
Hold on a second, bro.
This is a perfect opportunity.
229
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,096
I'm gonna hang out
in his office
and pretend I'm the new guy.
230
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,264
Uh, I don't think that's
gonna work, dude.
231
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,001
Uh, have you seen
The Secret of My Success?
232
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:36,968
Uh, they're gonna
catch on to you.
233
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:41,339
Uh, but before they do, I will
come up with an idea that will
save the company millions...
234
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,041
and they'll be forced
to promote me.
235
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:46,111
Uh, are you sure?
How's that movie end,
dude?
236
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:49,948
Uh, I can't remember.
Actually--
237
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,416
Oh, yeah. He bangs
that old lady,
238
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:56,021
and they play that song
from the '80s-- "Day, Bow-Bow."
239
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,989
What the hell
is "Day, Bow-Bow"?
240
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,960
♪ Day, bow-bow
Chick, chicka-chicka ♪
241
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,929
Oh!
♪ Day, bow-bow ♪
242
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,365
[ Together ]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
243
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,134
♪ Day, bow-bow ♪
244
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,935
♪♪ [ Beatboxing ]
245
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,103
♪ Day, bow-bow ♪
246
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,873
♪ Beautiful ♪
♪ Chick, chicka-chicka ♪
247
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,174
♪ Day, bow-bow ♪
248
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,009
No, Mac, seriously--
♪ Hello ♪
249
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,411
♪ Beautiful ♪♪
250
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,846
At least
give him his mail.
251
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:28,720
[ Murmuring ]
252
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,156
Hoh!
253
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:36,494
[ Thinking ]
Meds are kickin' in.
254
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:40,298
[ Voice Slows, Distorts ]
Meds are kickin' in.
255
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,233
Whoa.
256
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:45,070
Jesus Christ, dude.
What's goin' on in here?
257
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:48,106
I'm really behind
the eight ball, Mac.
The mail doesn't stop.
258
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,441
You're smoking now?
Yeah, I'm smoking now.
259
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:52,177
You kidding me?
My nerves are like--
[ Jabbering ]
260
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,978
I'm trying to smoke.
I'm trying to calm
myself down.
261
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,281
Hey, we got insurance,
so what the hell?
Have a smoke.
262
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,817
Maybe you're right.
I need to calm
my nerves a bit.
263
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,052
It's a shark tank up there.
Oh, yeah, is it?
I bet.
264
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,089
Have some coffee too.
That'll calm you down.
Yeah?
265
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:07,125
What's your system here, bro?
It's pretty complicated.
266
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,359
The mail goes
into three sections,
267
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,895
according to how important
I think the thing looks.
[ Mail Dropping ]
268
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,497
The least important stuff,
I'm gonna burn that.
269
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,898
If it's important,
they're gonna
send it again.
270
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:17,268
The middle important stuff,
I put that back in the mail
addressed to me.
271
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,937
I buy myself
a couple more days.
272
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,239
The most important stuff,
that gets delivered.
273
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:25,243
Although, you know something?
I actually burn that, too,
most of the time.
274
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,913
Okay, well, it looks like
you've got this under control.
275
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,249
I'm gonna get back
to my office.
All right, man.
276
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,151
I'm just--
Okay, sorry, buddy.
The mail don't stop!
277
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:36,888
I'm gonna get back
to my office, and then--
I'll see you later.
278
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,890
All right, man.
Okay, bud.
279
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,426
You're not gonna stop,
are you?
280
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:46,364
Come on, Mac. Hit me.
Come on. Hit me again.
281
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,767
[ Door Opens ]
Look.
282
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:53,171
[ Frank Murmurs ]
I found him
wandering the streets.
283
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,372
No I.D., no nothing.
284
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,175
Figured we'd turn him
over to you until
someone claimed him.
285
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,110
Poor thing.
Careful.
286
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,946
I think he crapped himself.
287
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,482
Oh, my.
This way.
288
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,417
Right through here.
289
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,821
Hit me.
Hit me again.
290
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,956
Hit me.
291
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:17,061
♪♪ [ "Oh, Yeah" Playing ]
292
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:21,065
[ Man, Deep Voice ]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
293
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,367
[ Ringing ]
294
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:26,070
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
All right.
295
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,106
♪♪ [ Continues ]
Hello.
296
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,208
[ Man ]
Uh, hello?
Hi.
297
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,878
Uh, who is this?
This is Mac.
I'm the new guy.
298
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,481
What are you doing
in my office?
299
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,518
Huh?
Who are you, and why
are you in my office?
300
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:44,389
Who is this?
This is Johnson.
301
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,590
Oh.
302
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,059
I-I-- I thought
you were in Orlando.
303
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:51,663
I am in Orlando.
I'm trying to check
my voice mail.
304
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,065
Oh. I could
check it for you.
305
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,235
No, don't! Just--
What is your name, sir?
306
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,470
Uh--
307
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:03,074
Why don't you just
give me your name?
308
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:07,178
Your full name, sir.
309
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,981
♪ Chick, chicka-chicka ♪♪
310
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,286
This is gonna be great, Sis.
We already got the mind,
body and soul goin'.
311
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,455
Now all we need is
to get our faces
nice and tight,
312
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,058
and we'll be healthy
as all hell.
I know.
313
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:24,162
Uh, now, you're clear
on these instructions,
right?
314
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,364
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, you know
what you're doing?
315
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:30,034
They're in Spanish.
Yeah, but, you know,
if you know Latin,
316
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,703
you know, like,
three languages, so--
317
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,404
- Far as I know,
you don't speak Latin.
- I don't speak Latin.
318
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:37,141
But there's pictures,
so I think we're good.
You're good with the pictures.
319
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:37,842
Can we get goin' with this?
320
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,778
Those supplements
are givin' me the squirts
like you would not believe.
321
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:44,082
I would kill for
your bowel movements.
I am so blocked up.
322
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,951
Gonna do your eyes first.
Hold really still.
Easy, easy, easy.
323
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:50,555
Seriously, do not move.
Careful. Careful.
324
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,191
It's in?
It's out.
325
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,959
It's out,
and it's in.
I did it.
326
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,060
Pretty good, right?
Painless.
327
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,029
Let's just let that
settle for a minute,
328
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,264
and I'll think about
what I would like to do.
329
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:03,368
Number one, I'd like to get rid
of these crow's-feet I have
been noticing coming in,
330
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,702
which I do not appreciate.
331
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,938
And hear me out on this one.
It's a little weird.
332
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,673
I'm thinking about
doing something
to my earlobes.
333
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:12,510
I've never really
liked my earlobes.
Oh! Jesus!
334
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:13,378
What?
335
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,980
How's that eye feel?
Well, feels a little weird.
336
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:19,083
I'm having a little trouble
seeing out of it.
That's normal, right?
337
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,219
I don't think so.
It's not? Really?
338
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:25,123
Now that you mention it,
I do feel a fair amount
of pain coming on.
339
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,991
God, it stings.
Uh-huh? Um, uh--
340
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:29,260
Shit, Dennis. I think maybe
I switched these up.
341
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,395
You switched 'em up?
I don't know.
342
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,997
What the hell?
Maybe I put some collagen
in your eye.
343
00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:35,133
You injected
Mexican collagen in my eye?
I'm sorry!
344
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,402
I can't handle this stress
you're giving me right now.
345
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,570
My heart is very weak.
It's a lot of pressure.
346
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,572
I think I'm going blind
in one eye.
347
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,574
Hold on a second.
I feel very weird.
I'm going blind.
348
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:47,712
I-I-- I feel like my heart
might explode.
[ Gasps ]
349
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,386
Are you feeling better
today?
350
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:58,256
I like to hear that.
351
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:01,426
Now take your medication.
352
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,298
Good.
353
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:11,402
That's good.
354
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:14,305
Hello, Chief.
355
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,508
They're onto me, dude.
Those guys are sharp
as nails up there.
356
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,310
You can't put
anything past them.
357
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,511
Oh, my God.
I am freakin' out.
358
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,247
I am so stressed out.
I feel like I'm having
a panic attack.
359
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:27,185
You wanna talk about stress?
Okay? I've stumbled onto
a major company conspiracy.
360
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,388
How about that for stress?
What the hell
are you talking about?
361
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,091
This company is being bled
like a stuck pig, Mac.
362
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:36,194
I've got a paper trail
to prove it.
Check this out.
363
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,428
Take a look at this.
364
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,364
Jesus Christ, Charlie.
That right there
is the mail.
365
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,766
Let's talk about the mail.
Can we talk about
the mail, please?
366
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,335
I've been dying to talk
about the mail with you
all day.
367
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,637
Pepe Silvia-- this name
keeps coming up
over and over.
368
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,139
Every day, Pepe's mail's
getting sent back to me.
369
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:52,176
Pepe Silvia, Pepe Silvia.
I look in the mail--
This whole box is Pepe Silvia!
370
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,578
So I say to myself,
"I gotta find this guy.
371
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,414
I gotta go up to his office.
I gotta put his mail
in the guy's goddamn hands!
372
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,483
Otherwise, he's never
gonna get it. It's gonna
keep coming back down here."
373
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:02,186
So I go up to Pepe's office,
and what do I find out?
What do I find out?
374
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,288
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- There is no Pepe Silvia.
375
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:08,559
The man does not exist.
So I decide, oh, shit,
I gotta dig a little deeper.
376
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,662
There's no Pepe Silvia?
You gotta me kidding me!
I got boxes full of Pepe!
377
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:15,867
All right, so I start
marching my way down
to Carol in H.R.
378
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:19,103
And I knock on her door,
and I say, "Carol!
379
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,372
Carol, I gotta talk to you
about Pepe."
380
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,274
And when I open the door,
what do I find?
381
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,310
There's not a single
goddamn desk in that office.
382
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:30,114
There is no Carol in H.R.
383
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:33,651
Mac, half the employees
in this building
have been made up.
384
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,787
This office
is a goddamn ghost town.
385
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,155
♪ Chick, chicka-chicka ♪
386
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:40,091
Charlie, I'm gonna
have to stop you
right there.
387
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,160
Not only do all
of these people exist,
388
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:44,829
but they have been
asking for their mail
on a daily basis.
389
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,697
It's all they're
talking about up there.
390
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,633
Jesus Christ, dude.
We are gonna lose our jobs.
391
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,302
Calm down, 'cause
here's one thing
that's not gonna happen.
392
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,171
What?
We're not gonna get fired.
393
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,441
We're not?
'Cause we've already
been fired.
394
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,909
- We've lost our jobs?
- Yeah.
395
00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:01,546
About three days ago, a couple
pink slips came in the mail--
one for you, one for me.
396
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,281
What did I do? I mailed them
halfway to Siberia.
397
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,617
Charlie, if we've
lost our jobs, that means
we've lost our health insurance.
398
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:07,552
Which means all of this
was for nothing.
399
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:11,189
Goddamn it, dude. I am having
a panic attack. I'm actually
having a panic attack.
400
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:14,092
Will you settle down
and have another
cup of coffee?
401
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:14,659
I am, bro.
402
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:18,830
Fine. You know what, Barney,
give this guy a cigarette.
He's freakin' out.
403
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,865
- Huh? Who?
- Barney.
404
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,334
He's the guy
who tipped me off
to Pepe Silvia.
405
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,635
Barney? Who the hell
is Barney?
406
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,405
You don't see-- Oh, shit.
Where the hell did he--
407
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,774
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
You've lost your mind.
408
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,742
You've lost your
goddamn mind, Charlie.
409
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,879
♪ Chick, chicka-chicka ♪♪
410
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,817
Jesus Christ! Will you
forget the mail? All right?
411
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,553
Forget the mail? The mail's
the most important thing
in the world.
412
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,323
You're gonna give me
another panic attack.
Do you have a cigarette?
413
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,891
I hear Barney.
Where's Barney?
414
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,893
Oh! How long is the wait
at this place?
415
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,129
We have been here
for hours and hours.
416
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,565
Goddamn Frank.
Where the hell
is he?
417
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:04,208
[ Gasps ]
Holy shit.
418
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,744
Where the hell am I?
419
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,657
[ Straining ]
420
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,260
[ Grunts ]
421
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:25,263
Hey. Tonto.
422
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,298
Come here.
423
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,699
Come on, bub.
Let's go.
424
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:32,236
Get up. You gotta
help me out here.
425
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:38,576
Pick this up
and throw it
through this window.
426
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,313
Pick. Throw.
427
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:54,292
- [ Metal Snaps ]
- [ Water Pouring ]
428
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,826
Whoa. That's it.
429
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,929
Yeah! Yeah! That's it.
430
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:03,301
One, two and three!
431
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,270
[ Grunts ]
Beautiful!
432
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:09,307
Come on. Let's get
the hell outta here.
433
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,642
Come on. You go--
434
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,511
[ Grunts ]
435
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,880
Why aren't you goin'?
436
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:04,962
[ Voices Speaking Backwards ]