1
00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:03,502
[ Charlie ]
Admit it, dude.
You totally cried.

2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,637
[ Mac ] Yeah.
[ Dennis ]
I didn't cry, Charlie.

3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,873
I saw tears coming out
of your eyes, man.

4
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,842
Extreme Home Makeover
will make the hardest man
soft.

5
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:12,678
- Oh, it makes everybody cry.
- Oh, that is really ridiculous.

6
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,047
Oh, is it?
You're the biggest thief
I've ever met in my life.

7
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:18,217
How am I a thief?
Dennis, do you know that she
is inheriting my house?

8
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:22,121
Of course he knows it.
He's the one who lost the house
by letting you into it.

9
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,556
And now since
I'm his next of kin,
the house belongs to me.

10
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,226
- [ Groans ]
- Frank, if you want to get your
house back, check it out.

11
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,162
Make a vision board,
put your house on it--
boom, you get the house back.

12
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,598
- What the hell's
a vision board?
- Oh, it's The Secret!

13
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,234
Yeah, The Secret
is a self-help book that Dee
read and explained to us.

14
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,870
It's about how you can get
whatever you want without
having to work for it.

15
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,672
All you have to do
is envision all the shit
in the world that you want,

16
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:44,510
cut pictures of it out and paste
it on a board, then you get it,
you get the stuff.

17
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:48,213
See how I got all these
sweet pics of Ty Pennington
from Extreme Home Makeover?

18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,649
I'm gonna become like him.
I'm gonna have
that dude's life.

19
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,551
Yeah, now that's
Charlie's vision,
but it's not mine.

20
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,287
You see, my vision
is to have a gorgeous
yellow Lamborghini...

21
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:56,789
that I'm very much
looking forward to driving.

22
00:00:56,791 --> 00:01:00,859
I'm gonna impregnate Danica
Patrick while getting drunk
in the Sahara desert...

23
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,262
on a dune buggy.

24
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:03,929
[ Frank Cackling ]

25
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:08,534
I hate to tell you this,
but this self-help stuff,
it's all bullshit.

26
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,569
It's a big scam.
Oh, is it, Frank?

27
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,371
That's funny 'cause that's
how I got the house.

28
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,207
See, I envisioned
the courts recognizing
how ridiculous it was...

29
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,876
that my son of a bitch
asshole mother
didn't leave me anything.

30
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,546
And then I did
some good deeds,
and boom-- I'm rich.

31
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,714
- Mansion rich.
- Whoa, wait a second.

32
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,751
You didn't say anything
about doing good deeds.
Is that a part of this?

33
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,553
You have to do that.
You get back
what you put in.

34
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:31,623
Right! That makes sense. That's
probably why Ty Pennington
has such a sweet life.

35
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,692
Yeah, man. And he's got
great hair too.

36
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,328
Of course
he's got great hair!
He does have great hair!

37
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,529
You know, this has
got me thinking, guys.

38
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:41,600
It could be really beneficial
for us to go out and actually
do some good deeds.

39
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,604
Wait a second.
Maybe helping other people is
the best way to help ourselves.

40
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:49,775
Right, right.
So, like, what is the best way
you can help other people?

41
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,911
The best way in the world
to help other people.

42
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:57,583
What would
Ty Pennington do?
What would Ty Pennington do?

43
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:32,317
[ Chattering ]

44
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,353
What the hell are you doing
with my bowling ball?

45
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,388
It's no longer
a bowling ball, Frank.
It's now a wrecking ball.

46
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,892
We're gonna use it
to tear down a house and then
we're gonna build up a dream!

47
00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:43,462
Yeah, baby. Then we get
our Lamborghinis, and our
Danica Patricks, and our--

48
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,532
Whatever we want.
Ooh, you guys. I wanna jump in
on this if that's okay.

49
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:50,402
I'm gonna need a butt load
of money to pay the property
taxes on my new mansion.

50
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,338
- On my mansion.
- Jesus, Frank. Really? Still?
Why do you care?

51
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,874
You don't even
wanna live there.
That's not the point, Deandra!

52
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:58,644
The point is, it is my house
and I should own it.

53
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:01,313
Help us out,
and the universe will probably
give it back to you.

54
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,916
I don't think so, Charlie.
See, I'm operating at
a much higher vibration,

55
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:06,685
which I think is gonna
counteract his attempts
at positive energy.

56
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,453
- I'll keep the house.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

57
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:12,691
You think that your energy's
more positive than mine?
Uh, yeah.

58
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,494
I want in on this
so I can screw over
Deandra.

59
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:16,461
You know what, man?
Perfect.

60
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,631
We were planning on using
your construction experience
and your connections anyway.

61
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,967
- I'll be the foreman.
- Yeah, great. Excellent.

62
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,769
Why don't you hop
on the renovations
with Charlie and I?

63
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,772
Mac, why don't you
get started on the family
makeover with Dee?

64
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:30,576
Family makeover with Dee?
No. I want to be a part
of the renovation team.

65
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,644
I know you do,
but the thing is, you--
Yeah.

66
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,613
You get so excited
about the smashing.
Yeah!

67
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,782
Then you make it competitive.
You turn it into
a competition.

68
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,984
That's bullshit!
Because I'm a better smasher
than you guys!

69
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,687
I should be on the head
of the smashing team!
Are you kidding?

70
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,355
You want to have
a smash-off?
A smash-off?

71
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,691
I'll prove it to you.
You can't even
help yourself, can you?

72
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,026
Okay, fine. Fine.
Dee and I are gonna
kick your ass, okay?

73
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,996
Because our makeover
is gonna be so much more
extreme than yours.

74
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:55,434
Oh, well, hold on a second.
Charlie, our renovations are
gonna be pretty extreme, right?

75
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,702
Yeah, but not as extreme
as what we're gonna do.

76
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:59,771
Let's agree that we're
gonna go about this in the most
extreme way possible, okay?

77
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,774
First things first.
Let's find a family to unleash
our extremeness all over.

78
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:06,478
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A desperate family that's gonna
yield us the highest return.

79
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,715
How 'bout the Mexican family
that moved in down the block?
Right!

80
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,050
What is their name?
The Juarez family, I think.

81
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,553
Oh, that's perfect.
Oh, we can help
the Juarez family!

82
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,755
Great.
Oh, they're good.
Their place is a real shit hole.

83
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,690
Okay, great.
Then the Juarez family it is.
It's settled.

84
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:24,630
Okay, okay, okay.
And I think I know the most
extreme way to go about this.

85
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:26,865
[ Charlie ]
Okay. Dee, you got
the blindfolds, right?

86
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:30,969
Do you guys think the blindfolds
are absolutely necessary?
The blindfolds are necessary.

87
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,971
They're there
to heighten the sense of
surprise and excitement,

88
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,506
creating an enjoyable
experience for the family.
Extreme!

89
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:39,578
Here's the thing. I couldn't
find any blindfolds per se, but
I did bring some plastic bags.

90
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,648
Jam them over their faces.
Why didn't you say so
10 minutes ago?

91
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,851
It's time! Here we go!
Here we go!

92
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,353
Go, go, go, go, go!

93
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:52,090
Good morning,
Juarez family!

94
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:56,128
Wake up, my brown friend!
It's time to change your life!
[ Screams ]

95
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:59,064
♪♪ [ Hard Rock ]
I said inspirational music!
What is that?

96
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:03,035
Yeah, man. Inspirational.
All right. That's cool.
That's cool, I guess.

97
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,971
Come here,
you little rug rat!

98
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,540
Where are you going?
What's wrong, buddy?
Come on.

99
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,676
We're trying to help you.
Hey, where's your wife?
Oh, no!

100
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:14,713
Come on! You want me to
fix your house, don't you?
Where's your daughter?

101
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,715
- Where's your daughter?
- [ Screaming ]

102
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,885
Congratulations! Have we
got a surprise for you!

103
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,354
Okay! Hold still!

104
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,790
You can't run from
the kindness of strangers!

105
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:28,960
We are taking over
your house!
Your house is ours now!

106
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,563
Your lives are gonna
change forever!

107
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,666
Ah, it feels good to help
people, doesn't it?

108
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,869
It sure does!
Okay. Bag 'em.

109
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:42,607
And good-bye,
Juarez family!

110
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:45,644
Yeah. All right!
Good job. Good job.
We did it, man.

111
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,113
Frank, foreman.
What's the plan?
Mr. Foreman.

112
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:48,914
Ah, the plan?
Yeah!

113
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:52,517
You guys get to work.
I'm gonna go hop in one of their
beds and get some shut-eye.

114
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,454
- I'm running on fumes.
- Oh, ho! Wait, man.
There's no time for that.

115
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,989
We're on a deadline here.
Now, when's your crew arriving?

116
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:01,626
- My crew? What crew?
- The construction crew.
When do those guys get here?

117
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,830
You're the crew!
That's the way I do it.

118
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,032
I hire two guys
and let them sweat it out.

119
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:10,569
All right.
Now keep it down because
I'm a very light sleeper.

120
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:14,005
♪♪ [ Speakers:
"The Washington Post" ]

121
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,475
Welcome to makeover
headquarters, Juarez family!

122
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,110
This is gonna be your home
for the next couple of days!

123
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:21,213
Hey, in order to assimilate you
with American culture,

124
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,815
we've decided to surround you
with all things American.

125
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,852
- [ Mac Laughing ]
- Who's ready for a makeover?

126
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,019
[ Mac Laughs ]
This one is.

127
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,655
Um, not that excited.
No. They're not
very excited at all.

128
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:34,559
What's up?
I-- Okay. I think there might
be a bit of a language barrier.

129
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,028
Well, that
could be an issue.
Well, no, no, no. Hold up.

130
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:40,031
Somebody took
a couple of years
of Spanish in high school.

131
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:40,966
Oh! Okay.
You remember it?

132
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,969
I'm gonna dust off the cobwebs
and see if I can fire off
a couple phrases.

133
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,705
Tell them to relax,
first off, 'cause they
look a little tense.

134
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,940
And then, uh, we're gonna
build them a new house.

135
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,910
And a new life, just like
on Extreme Makeover on TV.

136
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:56,081
Okay. Okay.
Juarezes,

137
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,184
[ Speaking Spanish ]

138
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,864
- Sí. They get it! They get it!
- I still got it!

139
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,667
¡Somos... extremos!
Yeah! ¡Extremos!

140
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,203
[ Dee ]
Yeah, America!

141
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,806
[ Dennis ] All right.
[ Charlie ]
I tell you what, man.

142
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:24,242
The more I look at this place,
the nicer I think it is.
It's a nice place.

143
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:28,046
No, it's a very charming,
charming place.
Whoa!

144
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,581
What are you doing, dude?
What do you mean?

145
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,584
Why are you smashing stuff?
It's important that we
get rid of anything...

146
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,886
that will remind
the Juarez family
of their old country.

147
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:38,490
Bro, they're Americans now,
and Americans don't
hold onto the past.

148
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:41,092
Oh, the past isn't useful.
You gotta forget about it.
Not useful.

149
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,794
Okay, the past isn't--
We gotta gut
this entire place.

150
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,698
Here's what I'm thinking now.
After we get done smashing
all their old shit,

151
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,568
I'm thinking we
take out this wall.
You know what I mean?

152
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,069
Just let the room
breathe a little bit.
Okay.

153
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,506
And you think that's better
than just, like, ripping
the whole house down?

154
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,941
Yeah. Why--
Tearing the whole thing down?

155
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,844
Yes, dude. Were you planning
on destroying the entire house?
Yeah.

156
00:07:58,846 --> 00:07:59,911
You can't demolish
the entire house.

157
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,647
That's what they do
on Extreme Makeover.
They rip the whole house down.

158
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,817
Do you know how to build
an entire house?
No. I don't know how to--

159
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,052
I know!
I hadn't thought that far--

160
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,554
We would have to build
a whole house.
We'd have to build--

161
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,122
I can't build a whole house.
Let's just smash the wall.

162
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,758
We'll start with the wall.
Then we'll throw a couple
of layers of paint up.

163
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,828
And then we'll get our
Lamborghinis and whatever shit
you have on your vision board.

164
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,999
Let me see if the lamp
takes a little dent out of it.
And here comes the pitch!

165
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,135
[ Cheering ]
But it didn't really
dent the wall though.

166
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,571
But it did break the lamp,
and that's part of it.

167
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,673
Well, that was fun.
So I'm gonna break this.

168
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,608
What's all the racket
down here?

169
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,845
Hey, some of us are trying
to do some work here, Frank.
I don't know if you noticed.

170
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,714
Has anybody scored
on their vision board yet?

171
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,850
How on earth can we score
from our vision board, dude?
We just started.

172
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,752
Yeah! We've been doing this
for, like, 30 minutes.

173
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:44,022
Thirty minutes?
I feel like I've been
sleeping for a day.

174
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,858
What?
That broke bastard's bed
is soft as shit.

175
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,361
You think they got
any beer in the icebox?
You know what, man?

176
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,062
I could drink
a swimming pool.
You know what, Frank?

177
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:55,133
You are a terrible foreman.
Get-- You know what?
Back me up on this, Charlie.

178
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,269
You're out of here, dude.
I think so. You're done.

179
00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:00,005
You can't kick
the foreman out.
I'm the foreman.

180
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,040
I tell you what to do.
That's the way it works.

181
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,776
Oh, really?
You're gonna tell me
how it works?

182
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,946
I watch
Extreme Home Makeover.
I know how it works!

183
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:08,647
Charlie!
What?

184
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:12,751
That show is just
a bunch of manipulation
to get people to cry.

185
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,787
And then they
trick the viewers
into buying shit!

186
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,756
Buying shit?
What are you talking about?

187
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,758
Yes!
That show is about
how awesome Sears is!

188
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,327
No.
And how Sears products
save people's lives!

189
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,096
It's about caring and Sears!
Hey, hey. Shh.

190
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:28,233
Now, you don't see
Ty Pennington lose
his cool, do you?

191
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,035
You want to be like him?
Yeah.

192
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,103
Then just breathe for me.
Feel what I'm doing.

193
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,205
Yeah, dude. I just--
I'm sorry, bro.

194
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,741
But I get very passionate
about Sears.
No, I--

195
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,245
I mean,
Extreme Home Make--
I mean, wha--

196
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,080
Helping people.
Helping people.

197
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,016
Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
Don't stop.

198
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,885
Give me a hug.

199
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:52,724
[ Speaking Spanish ]

200
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,671
Baseball. Huh?

201
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,240
Frank, what the hell
are you doing here?

202
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,910
Those dickwads threw me
off my own work site!

203
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:15,113
So how's the old
vision board coming?
You getting everything you want?

204
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,248
No. Actually, we just started
the whole makeover process.

205
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:21,219
We realized the reason why the
Juarez family hasn't achieved
the American dream yet...

206
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,254
is because they haven't
envisioned it strong enough.

207
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,824
So we're having them do
their own vision boards.
Ah.

208
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,360
Why don't you be a lamb
and pass out some materials.
What?

209
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:31,763
Go on.
Be helpful! Do something
positive with your life.

210
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,299
Piece of shit.
Magazines, magazines.

211
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,834
Here! Magazines.

212
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,036
Cut 'em out with this?
What are you looking at?

213
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,071
Frank, she doesn't understand
what you're saying.

214
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,742
You gotta say "corte."
That means "cut."
¡Corte! ¡Corte!

215
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,777
[ Screaming ]

216
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:46,978
Oh, no!
[ Screaming ]

217
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,848
I am gonna blast
your face off!
[ Spanish ]

218
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,783
I am gonna blast
your face off.
Shh! Shh!

219
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,319
No one's gonna
blast anything.
No one's gonna blast your face.

220
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,054
No one's gonna do that.
What did you say to her?

221
00:10:56,056 --> 00:11:00,892
I said what you said to say
to her and she stabbed me in the
leg with the goddamn scissors!

222
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,194
Deal with it.
Deal with this.
All right.

223
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:07,298
Baje tu herramienta
de corte, por favor.

224
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,301
Um-- Hombre está loco
con pistola.

225
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,470
Loco. Very loco.
Right?

226
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,907
Y hace peligro
para todos nosotros.

227
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,410
Yeah.
Okay. Careful. Watch it.

228
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:22,881
Um, um, um-- No hace
que hombre le lastima.

229
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,216
¿Sí?
That makes sense, yeah?
Sí, sí, sí.

230
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:28,286
Oh, God.
I'm really good at this.
They got it.

231
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,957
Dennis! Yo.
Last-minute thing.

232
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,061
Gotta have this.
Brilliant idea.
We need a project for 'em, dude.

233
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,063
Huh?
So, we got ourselves
a little Mexican girl here.

234
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:42,467
I'm thinking, well, what does
a little Mexican girl love more
than anything else in the world?

235
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,936
Mmm. Tacos.
Tacos, buddy!

236
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,806
So, why not make for her
a taco bed?

237
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,240
You know what I mean?
Okay!

238
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:52,010
She gets to, like,
be in a taco every day.
So, okay.

239
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,512
I got yellow sheets.
That's cheese.
Green, guacamole.

240
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,380
Red little pillow
for salsa.

241
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:59,084
I got cute little brown p.j.'s
so she gets to feel like ground
meat while she's sleeping.

242
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,319
She's the ground meat
in the middle.
She's the ground meat!

243
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,822
I like that, man.
That's a good idea.
Uh-oh.

244
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,357
Hey, what is this,
um, blowtorch for, man?

245
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:10,328
Well, that's a propane torch.
That thing's badass.
It's like a flamethrower.

246
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,996
Okay. But what function
is it gonna serve?

247
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,933
It's for the renovation, man.
It's for the controlled burns.
Oh.

248
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:17,102
I don't think they do
controlled burns, man.
Are you kidding me?

249
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,904
Bro, they definitely do
controlled burns on the--
They do it off screen.

250
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,007
Off screen!
How do you think they tear down
an entire wall so quickly?

251
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,943
They burn it up.
The community's got
a lot to do with it.

252
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,012
And then maybe it's for
burning the actual rubble.
It's for tearing stuff down.

253
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:30,515
Are you sure we need it?
I'm not sure we--
They take stuff outside--

254
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,952
I'm buying it,
so ring that up.
What are we looking at here?

255
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,453
That'll be $3,212.11.

256
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:40,792
We're just gonna go ahead
and put all this on the
Extreme Home Makeover account.

257
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,928
Ring it up.
I have no idea
what you're talking about.

258
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,232
Really?
Uh, we're performing
an extreme home makeover.

259
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,267
So do you not have
a button for that?
Yeah, yeah.

260
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,136
We're helping out
a family in need.
We're gonna do some good deeds.

261
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,038
We got a vision board thing
going. This is a legitimate
operation here, okay?

262
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,508
This is the real deal.
I got a whole taco bed--
You know what?

263
00:12:56,510 --> 00:13:00,278
Um, if you just
give us the stuff,
we'll be on our way.

264
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,480
I'm sorry. We don't
just give stuff away.

265
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:06,217
Okay.
I don't know why you're
breaking my balls here.

266
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,186
Sears does this.
Okay, Sears gives
people stuff.

267
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,955
Sears doesn't
get anything out of it! Sears
doesn't come in and start--

268
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:14,292
Look, we don't have
any money, okay? What are
we supposed to do here?

269
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,426
I don't know
what to tell you.

270
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:19,397
If you don't have
a bad credit history, you can
open up a store credit card.

271
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,400
Well, yeah.
Credit card, huh?

272
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,601
Yeah.

273
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:26,805
All right. Just go ahead
and sign right there,
and we're all set.

274
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:30,275
Now, this is smart.
The first step to becoming an
American, get a credit card.

275
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,076
We need this guy to build up
copious amounts of debt.

276
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:35,213
That's the best way
for him to build up his credit.
We're doing him a favor here.

277
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,448
We're doing him a huge favor!
And do you realize
how extreme this is?

278
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,919
To go from no debt to good,
old-fashioned American debt?
That's the way to do it.

279
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:45,023
Plus, I've been envisioning
someone else paying for
this thing the entire time.

280
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,158
I'm also envisioning him
unloading all the shit
into the car.

281
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,461
Well, that's a great vision.
Guys, no can do. We're on
a very tight schedule.

282
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:54,699
But we got him here.
Does anyone know why Frank has
been pointing a camera at us?

283
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:58,102
I'll tell you why.
Because I'm tired of
this Secret bullshit.

284
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:00,205
All it got me was
a stab wound in the leg.

285
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:03,074
So I'm gonna record
everything you do.
Why?

286
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,475
Because I know you're
gonna fail.

287
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,611
Then I can watch it
over and over again.
That's ridiculous.

288
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,947
Whatever, Frank.
You know, I'm glad you're
getting all this on tape.

289
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:12,116
Then we'll have proof
of how amazingly generous
we're being today.

290
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,218
You're gonna prove
that The Secret is real.

291
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:16,487
We are all done here,
so I'm gonna roll.
All right, grab him.

292
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,156
Thank you very much.
Let's go and do this.

293
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,959
Most gracias--
Good luck. All right.
Got the store card now.

294
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,293
Let's go ahead
and ring that up.

295
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,229
[ Charlie ]
Bro, I'm not sure I have
the right look here.

296
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:28,499
No, you do, man. You just gotta
start thinking of the tool belt
as an extension of yourself.

297
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,302
It needs to reflect you
as an individual.
Do you feel that?

298
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,504
Is that all that it is?
That's all it is, bro.

299
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,407
How come you got awesome fray
on your shorts?
I don't have that.

300
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:40,345
Well, ha-ha!
That, sir, is because you
purchased blue jean shorts,

301
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:43,114
whereas I purchased
blue jeans and cut 'em,
thus the fray.

302
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,516
It's a more authentic look.
I think that's what
you're feeling.

303
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:48,019
And then why did you
cut them so high?
Way higher than mine.

304
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,455
I thought you might ask that.
It limits restriction
of leg movement.

305
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,957
You're gonna get more work done
'cause you got more legroom.
Exactly.

306
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,093
Are you sure about that?
Let me do a little
demonstration on you.

307
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,128
Take the tool belt off
for a second.
Yeah, yeah.

308
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,030
Let me just
demonstrate something.
Let's get a demo.

309
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,366
Take a wide stance.
Take the widest stance
that you possibly can.

310
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:03,401
Let me see
what that looks like.
Okay. Leg movement. This is--

311
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,704
Go wide as you can.
If I'm going wide--
and I'm being honest with you--

312
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:10,575
- I'm maxing out about here.
- That's not bad.

313
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,244
But check this out.

314
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,647
Go. Go, go.

315
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:17,415
Whoa! Any more?

316
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,317
That's it.
But that's pretty wide,
right?

317
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,586
That is good. You know?
And you're not getting
any high ride.

318
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:26,691
I'm getting a high ride,
but the shorts aren't preventing
me from doing what I need to do.

319
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,960
And that's the shorts.
That's exactly right, man.

320
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,996
See, your shorts, they're
holding you back, man.
That and your hips.

321
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,198
But I gotta tell ya,
the shorts aren't helping.

322
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,769
Oh, this-- this is
really all good shit.
This is like gold.

323
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:40,138
What are you gonna do next?
You are catching
all this, right?

324
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,040
I got everything.
This is what we're
gonna do next.

325
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,075
Charlie, grab me
that propane torch.
I'm gonna burn the wall.

326
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,611
Let's go at it
with the wrecking ball
for a little while.

327
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,680
Really?
It'll be more extreme,
and kinda awesome.

328
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:51,149
Let's do that then.
You do the wrecking
ball thing.

329
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:54,185
I'm gonna do a little
introduction thing, then you
do the wrecking ball.

330
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,453
Do you want to wear the belt?
Mm-mmm.

331
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,289
I'm gonna be the only one
wearing the belt?
Just jeans and no shirt.

332
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,659
Wait. Can I see the stance
one more time?
Yeah.

333
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:08,599
- That-- I can go lower.
- Bro, that is badass.

334
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,637
[ Dennis ] All right.
[ Charlie ]
Is yours wedged in too?

335
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,005
Mine is completely
wedged in.

336
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,607
We can't even get anything
past the surface of this thing.

337
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,210
There's like a hard surface
past the thin surface.

338
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,311
Concrete or brick
or something behind--

339
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:24,082
I was envisioning this
being a lot easier than
it's turning out to be.

340
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,651
Use the blowtorch.
Great. It's time.

341
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,053
No. Hang on a second.
Let me grab the flame.

342
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,656
He's absolutely right.
I think I know
what the problem is.

343
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,458
Look, I'm the one
who watches Home Makeover.

344
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,393
I think I know what
we're not doing right here.
What?

345
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,029
We haven't brought
the neighborhood in yet.
Absolutely great idea.

346
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:42,066
Bring the neighbors in.
Oh, my neighbors are great.

347
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:47,038
[ Whistles ]
Yo. Hey, come here.

348
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,721
So did the neighborhood
rob us?
Oh, oh!

349
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:06,657
Did the neighborhood rob--
Yeah, Charlie. And they took
my goddamn tool belt!

350
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:10,094
I could not have anticipated--
You want to talk into
the camera and cry a little?

351
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,463
You invaded our face
with that camera, man!
You know what, man?

352
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,634
You know what? Just-- [ Sighs ]
Get me the flamethrower.
I'm so sick of this wall.

353
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:19,604
I want to burn it up now!
Okay, it's time.

354
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,572
Okay, there's also
a fire extinguisher too.
Great.

355
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,408
I think we should
use this, man.
I think we should too.

356
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:26,711
So here's how
this is gonna go down.
I will light a fire on the wall.

357
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,312
Charlie, have that
extinguisher ready...

358
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:31,282
'cause I don't want
the fire to spread past
the parameters of this wall.

359
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,217
I will create a parameter
with the fire extinguisher.

360
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,319
The only safe way
to do this, okay?
It'll be perfectly safe.

361
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,088
Then once the wall's
all weakened from
the burned-up fires,

362
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:40,491
we're gonna kick it to pieces,
smash it, take the rubble
outside and burn that too.

363
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:43,194
Burn that too.
And then I'll put it out
with this. Perfect.

364
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,862
And then I'll get started
on my taco bed.
That sounds good.

365
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:52,503
Hey, hey, before you do that,
why don't you open that window
there and get a nice back draft?

366
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,138
Now he wants
to start helping us.

367
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,307
That's the first sensible thing
you've said all day, Frank.

368
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,410
It's extreme,
just like we are. Charlie,
go crank open a window.

369
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,612
Let's get a back draft going.
Frank, you ready?

370
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:06,717
I've never been ready
for anything more
in my entire life!

371
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:10,655
Well, all right.
Let's do this.

372
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:17,328
Well, Mac, I think we
have successfully pulled off
one extreme makeover.

373
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,630
Yeah. I love their eyes.

374
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,667
Now while we wait, I was
thinking we expose them...

375
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:25,369
to some good,
old-fashioned American cinema.

376
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,337
Oh.
Apocalypto.

377
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,639
They can learn about
how their ancestors
used to be savages...

378
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:32,276
until Mel Gibson
and the Catholics came in
and saved everybody.

379
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,711
Oh!

380
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:34,612
Oh, hey, Frank.
Hey, Frank.

381
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:39,650
You're just in time. Point
that video camera at the new
and improved Juarez family.

382
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,086
Whoa.
They look freaky as shit.

383
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,388
[ Mac ]
Wait till you get a load
of their ancestors.

384
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:46,557
Pop a squat, bro,
'cause we're gonna watch
a sweet-ass flick.

385
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:51,262
Oh, no, no, no.
I got something better to do.
Bag 'em and bring 'em with us.

386
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,363
Come on. Yes, let's go.

387
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,367
In fact, bag yourselves, too,
because I want this
to be a surprise.

388
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,269
Okay.
All right.

389
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:01,772
Come on. Right this way.
Keep walking straight.
[ Dee ] Frank. Goddamn it.

390
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:05,143
It's hard to breathe
in these bags.
Straight, straight, straight.

391
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,410
Okay.
Hold it right here.

392
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:09,614
All right now--
Excuse me. Please, come
over here-- the family.

393
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:13,284
I want you on this side.
[ Mac ] My head is sweating
like shit, Frank!

394
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,753
All right.
Take the bags off.

395
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:19,223
Whoa!
You got-- You got a bus,
just like in the show!

396
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,526
It's all about the reveal.
Ready?

397
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:25,229
Okay, yeah.
One, two, three!

398
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:28,499
[ Together ]
Move that bus!

399
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:39,243
[ Frank Laughing ]

400
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,584
[ Frank ]
Whoo!

401
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,820
Unbelievable.

402
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:55,393
I cannot believe the judge
made me give my mansion
to the Juarez family.

403
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,827
I can't believe
their name isn't Juarez.

404
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,729
Was anyone else
surprised by that?
It was a shocker.

405
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,666
Yeah. You know, it's a
broken system we got here.
It's a broken system.

406
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,868
But at least we managed to
avoid arson charges, right?
Boom.

407
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,437
That's good. Yeah.
Frank, I guess you're right.
The Secret's bullshit.

408
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:11,609
Yeah.
You try to help people, and you
just wind up getting screwed.

409
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:48,646
[ Voices Speaking Backwards ]