1
00:00:03,524 --> 00:00:09,224
6:57, 6:58, 6:59. Seven
minutes. Keep going, buddy.

2
00:00:09,297 --> 00:00:11,629
Frank, you seeing this? I'm working
on the chicken parts over here.

3
00:00:11,699 --> 00:00:13,929
Forget the chicken parts. Charlie is
about to shatter the world record...

4
00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:15,935
for holding his breath...
he's up to seven minutes.

5
00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:19,461
Take the buns off the radiator. Forget the
buns. We are gonna be world famous after this.

6
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,474
Charlie, how you doing?
I gotta breathe, man.

7
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,806
No, Charlie, don't breathe! One
more minute! Buns are gonna burn!

8
00:00:23,878 --> 00:00:25,812
Don't do that!
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,474
Come on! Are you breathing?
Of course I'm breathing!

10
00:00:28,549 --> 00:00:31,575
Well, you ruined it. We could have
been famous. We could have been famous.

11
00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:35,952
Come in!
Hi. I... Oh, I'm, uh...

12
00:00:36,023 --> 00:00:38,423
What do you want, lady?
Ow!

13
00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:41,984
Uh, my name is Betty Canuso,
and I don't know if you heard...

14
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:46,022
but a week ago, Eastern State Correctional
Facility was forced to release...

15
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:49,126
25% of its inmates
due to overcrowding.

16
00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:53,367
Eastern State? That's where my dad is. Maybe
they let my dad out. Did they let my dad out?

17
00:00:53,441 --> 00:00:55,909
How would I know that?

18
00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:59,845
Listen, I'm here because of a man named
Wendell Albright, a registered sex offender.

19
00:00:59,914 --> 00:01:02,212
He's moved into this neighborhood.
Yeah.

20
00:01:02,283 --> 00:01:05,047
I'm hoping by raising awareness we can
force him out of the neighborhood...

21
00:01:05,119 --> 00:01:07,883
and away from our children, you know,
once and for all. It's going on and on.

22
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:10,788
Is there something that you need from us?
Because we're in the middle of something.

23
00:01:10,858 --> 00:01:12,849
Please post these
flyers anywhere you can.

24
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,861
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, yes, yes.

25
00:01:14,929 --> 00:01:16,829
All right. Okay. Thank
you for your time.

26
00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,695
Out. Get out. Get out.
Some people have no sense...

27
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:24,204
of my personal boundaries and
property. Let's set the shit up again.

28
00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:26,899
Holy shit!
What?

29
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:29,636
This dude looks just like Dennis.

30
00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:07,113
I do not look like this guy.

31
00:02:07,181 --> 00:02:09,706
Are you serious, dude? What
are you guys talking about?

32
00:02:09,783 --> 00:02:12,616
He's, like, 40 years old. Oh, my God.
Look at his jaw. Look at his jawline.

33
00:02:12,686 --> 00:02:16,178
His jaw is exactly where I don't look
like him. His jaw is fat and it's...

34
00:02:16,256 --> 00:02:20,556
Go, like, this far back. I never go that
far back. When I do, it doesn't do that.

35
00:02:20,627 --> 00:02:23,118
I give you six to eight months before
you start looking exactly like that guy.

36
00:02:23,197 --> 00:02:25,529
That's crazy, man.
There's no resemblance...

37
00:02:28,535 --> 00:02:32,130
Hello. Dad. They did
let you out. Oh, my God.

38
00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:35,471
Don't touch me. Right. That's how it
goes. Hey, hey, come meet my friends.

39
00:02:35,542 --> 00:02:37,373
Guys, this is my dad.
Well, Charlie you know.

40
00:02:37,444 --> 00:02:40,538
Hey, hey, man.
Hey, by the way...

41
00:02:40,614 --> 00:02:43,947
real sorry about that whole heroin
incident in the butt, but here's the deal.

42
00:02:44,017 --> 00:02:47,145
I had my butt filled like a Christmas
stocking, and I wanted to come...

43
00:02:47,221 --> 00:02:49,587
I got a little nervous,
everything came flushing out of me.

44
00:02:49,656 --> 00:02:52,819
Wendell "Shorteyes."
They let you out too, huh?

45
00:02:52,893 --> 00:02:56,454
What? No, I'm not Wendell
"Shorteyes. " Didn't I stab you once?

46
00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:59,931
No, you never stabbed... Look, I'm not
Wendell, okay? I'm not a sexual child molester.

47
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,525
I'm Dennis Reynolds. I'm
handsome and chiseled and...

48
00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:05,629
Now you got me thinking. I
gotta go look in a mirror.

49
00:03:05,706 --> 00:03:08,436
Dad, what are you gonna do now
that you're out? I need a job.

50
00:03:08,508 --> 00:03:12,501
Well, tell you what. I just got an
idea. Bouncer. Welcome aboard, buddy.

51
00:03:12,579 --> 00:03:15,980
Right.
Good thinking.

52
00:03:16,049 --> 00:03:18,108
Can I talk to you for
a second, you guys?

53
00:03:18,185 --> 00:03:21,018
Oh, yeah. Dude, Dee, that
guy really likes your hair.

54
00:03:21,088 --> 00:03:24,023
Yeah, he does. This is a very
bad plan. What? Which one?

55
00:03:24,091 --> 00:03:26,924
This man should not work
here. Why are you attacking us?

56
00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:30,930
This guy looks like he wants to eat me.
Has he ever eaten anybody that you know of?

57
00:03:30,998 --> 00:03:32,932
I don't think so.

58
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,595
No. But it'd be pretty cool if
he did. Yeah, that is really cool.

59
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:39,298
Think about the dedication you got
to put into eating a human body.

60
00:03:39,373 --> 00:03:41,637
If he's got that kind of
commitment, imagine what...

61
00:03:41,708 --> 00:03:44,438
Son, where's the telephone?
Do you have plans, Dad?

62
00:03:44,511 --> 00:03:47,947
'Cause I was thinking we could do some
father-son stuff. Have a catch. Talk.

63
00:03:48,015 --> 00:03:51,075
No, I'm not gonna do that.
But I'll tell you what.

64
00:03:51,151 --> 00:03:56,521
Here's a list of, uh, all the people I, uh,
promised to visit after I got out of prison.

65
00:03:56,590 --> 00:04:01,050
Maybe you can drive me around, help
me take care of a few of 'em, hmm?

66
00:04:01,128 --> 00:04:03,392
Take care of a few of 'em?
Okay, that sounds cool.

67
00:04:03,463 --> 00:04:06,955
You got a car? No. Dennis does,
but he won't give me the keys.

68
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:09,559
That won't be a problem.

69
00:04:11,138 --> 00:04:13,072
I do not want Mac's
dad working at our bar.

70
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:15,973
I was looking in the mirror, and I gotta
tell you, looks pretty good in here.

71
00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:19,035
Jawline looks good... Are you listening
to me? I don't want to get eaten.

72
00:04:19,112 --> 00:04:21,706
Eaten? He eats people? That's
awesome. That's not awesome.

73
00:04:21,782 --> 00:04:24,512
Why do you guys think that eating
people is awesome? It just is.

74
00:04:24,584 --> 00:04:27,485
Asshole!
What? Did you see that?

75
00:04:27,554 --> 00:04:29,579
Yeah, I saw that. Listen,
I need your help, okay?

76
00:04:29,656 --> 00:04:32,887
You're part owner of the bar, and you're
probably the only person that Mac listens to...

77
00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:36,588
and I need you talk to him... Dee, you're
blowing this completely out of proportion.

78
00:04:36,663 --> 00:04:39,359
Mac's dad probably hasn't seen
a woman in a very long time.

79
00:04:39,433 --> 00:04:41,697
And as soon as he comes across
one that's actually attractive...

80
00:04:41,768 --> 00:04:45,534
he's gonna forget all about you, just like
every other man does. Why do you do that?

81
00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:47,903
Pervert!
Dickhead!

82
00:04:47,974 --> 00:04:51,705
Pervert? Dickhead? Why are people
yelling at me in the streets, Dee?

83
00:04:51,778 --> 00:04:54,110
Could have something
to do with that.

84
00:04:54,181 --> 00:04:56,172
What?

85
00:05:00,187 --> 00:05:02,382
That's gonna be a problem for me.

86
00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:09,259
Take the TV too. Frank! What
the hell's going on in here, man?

87
00:05:09,329 --> 00:05:14,562
I'm leaving. It's been great, but I got
to get something more out of my life.

88
00:05:14,634 --> 00:05:16,534
Well, why are you taking all my shit?

89
00:05:16,603 --> 00:05:20,198
Well, it was really hard to tell whose was
whose, so I just decided to take everything.

90
00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:22,969
You don't ever use this.
I use that all the time.

91
00:05:23,043 --> 00:05:26,035
It's like the only thing I use. All
right, slow down, Frank. Slow down.

92
00:05:26,113 --> 00:05:28,047
What the hell's this all about?

93
00:05:28,115 --> 00:05:31,983
Charlie, I need a woman. I need a woman
to cook for me and clean up after me...

94
00:05:32,052 --> 00:05:34,316
and somebody who'll do
everything I say.

95
00:05:34,388 --> 00:05:36,413
That's just a maid.
You want a maid? Yeah.

96
00:05:36,490 --> 00:05:40,256
That's right. A maid.
A maid I can bang.

97
00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:43,262
Well, what the hell,
man? I mean... What?

98
00:05:43,330 --> 00:05:46,128
I thought we had a pretty sweet
thing going on here. Am I wrong?

99
00:05:46,199 --> 00:05:51,000
We had a good deal going on. We hung out.
We... Breakin' records, eatin' chicken scraps.

100
00:05:51,071 --> 00:05:52,663
I know you're gonna
miss me. Don't hug me!

101
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:55,833
Get... Get out of my apartment. Dude,
I don't need you. No, wait, wait.

102
00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:58,002
You know what, dude? Before
you go, remember one thing.

103
00:05:58,078 --> 00:06:03,277
We had about the sweetest life that two men can
have together, and you're walking out on that.

104
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:05,648
Charlie, you're gonna have
to deal with it. You know why?

105
00:06:05,719 --> 00:06:07,949
Because I need that bang maid.

106
00:06:08,021 --> 00:06:11,218
All right. But you're not gonna do
very well out there without this guy.

107
00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:15,557
'Cause I may not be much, Frank, but, uh, I
think you'll find that I'm a pretty sweet deal...

108
00:06:15,629 --> 00:06:18,257
once you're out there on your
own, and I'll tell you what else.

109
00:06:18,331 --> 00:06:20,765
You're not gonna find a bang
maid, 'cause there's no such thing.

110
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:25,203
I already did.
Your mom. Goodbye.

111
00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:36,139
Okay, let's go.

112
00:06:36,216 --> 00:06:39,276
It's been about 30 minutes, Dad.
What were you doing up there?

113
00:06:39,352 --> 00:06:43,982
Hmm? Oh, just, uh, keeping up
with my, uh, correspondence.

114
00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:46,651
Oh, that sounds nice.
How'd it go?

115
00:06:46,726 --> 00:06:50,389
Well, there was a bit
of a struggle, but, uh...

116
00:06:50,464 --> 00:06:52,796
it turned out just fine.
Oh, good.

117
00:06:52,866 --> 00:06:56,029
Good. So, um... Hey, I was thinking
we could hang out, you know.

118
00:06:56,102 --> 00:06:58,127
I was thinking we could
go on a double date.

119
00:06:58,205 --> 00:07:01,663
Go onto Match. Com, find us a couple
of hot ladies. What do you think?

120
00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:05,177
No.
No. Okay. Ooh!

121
00:07:05,245 --> 00:07:08,840
We could go on a road trip. Hey, Dad,
let's go to Cooperstown, New York.

122
00:07:08,915 --> 00:07:11,941
I have always wanted to go to the
Baseball Hall of Fame with my dad.

123
00:07:12,018 --> 00:07:14,851
Do you want to do that
with me, Dad? Start the car.

124
00:07:14,921 --> 00:07:16,855
Okay.

125
00:07:16,923 --> 00:07:20,222
I'll start the car. That's fine.
Um, just school me again here.

126
00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:24,161
Is it the yellow one to the black
one, or is there orange involved?

127
00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,165
Red.
Red. Just red.

128
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:30,431
There we go. Teamwork, right?
A little father-son teamwork.

129
00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:34,739
Okay, here we go.
Put on your seat belt.

130
00:07:34,808 --> 00:07:37,242
Or don't. Here we go.

131
00:07:39,346 --> 00:07:41,280
It looks great.
Stop fiddling with it.

132
00:07:41,348 --> 00:07:43,714
I know it looks great. I just
want to make sure the glue holds.

133
00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:46,809
Remember, this is a twofold operation. We want
to prove that you're not Wendell Albright...

134
00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:49,515
but prove that you are
a good guy. Good guy?

135
00:07:49,589 --> 00:07:52,387
Check. That comes naturally
for me. Great. Now step one.

136
00:07:52,459 --> 00:07:55,087
This guy's a little paunchy, right?
You're not. You got a great body.

137
00:07:55,161 --> 00:07:58,597
But how are we supposed to see that with this
billowy shirt you got on? Pop that thing off.

138
00:07:58,665 --> 00:08:02,692
Whoa. Wait a second, Dee. I can't just pop my
shirt off in the middle of a park. You crazy?

139
00:08:02,769 --> 00:08:04,703
I feel like you're
not using your head.

140
00:08:04,771 --> 00:08:08,901
What better way to differentiate you from this
fatty than by showing off this amazing body?

141
00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:12,968
There is an amazing body under this shirt.
I'm gonna pop the shirt off. I need to show it.

142
00:08:13,046 --> 00:08:17,540
This is what I'm thinking. You go over there
and put on a fitness clinic for these kids.

143
00:08:17,617 --> 00:08:19,812
Show that you care about
their physical body.

144
00:08:19,886 --> 00:08:22,650
I care about the kids. I would never
hurt the kids, but I care about them.

145
00:08:22,722 --> 00:08:24,656
Absolutely. I'm gonna
go do that right now.

146
00:08:24,724 --> 00:08:28,387
Take a lap.
Work those monkey bars.

147
00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:33,264
Hey, fellas. Hi, there.

148
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:37,827
I am working with a program that
assimilates convicted child molesters...

149
00:08:37,904 --> 00:08:39,838
right back into your neighborhood.

150
00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:44,366
Kids, how you doing today? It's
a beautiful, sunny day, isn't it?

151
00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:47,641
Here, gather around for a second. I want
to talk to you kids about physical fitness.

152
00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:50,808
Now we're not responsible for making
sure these people are rehabilitated...

153
00:08:50,884 --> 00:08:54,786
but this guy's done his time and he
deserves a second chance, don't you think?

154
00:08:54,854 --> 00:08:58,449
That's him right over
there talking to your kids.

155
00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:05,362
Yeah. Nice and high over that
bar so you can work those muscles.

156
00:09:05,432 --> 00:09:08,765
'Cause you want your muscles to pop, you
understand? You see how these pecs, they're popping?

157
00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:11,861
Take a real close look at this body.
This body is chiseled. This body is...

158
00:09:11,938 --> 00:09:14,600
You guys have a great day. Some
people In society aren't very muscular.

159
00:09:14,674 --> 00:09:16,608
You should notice the difference.

160
00:09:16,676 --> 00:09:19,304
Let me show you another hamstring
stretch. This is a real good one.

161
00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:21,677
You're gonna make your legs
into a "V." Just like that.

162
00:09:21,748 --> 00:09:25,707
You're gonna put your hands together
and stretch out nice and low.

163
00:09:25,785 --> 00:09:28,982
Don't be afraid to stick your ass out.
That's not embarrassing. It's a good thing.

164
00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:32,889
Get those hamstrings nice and
loose. That's a real... Hey, pervert.

165
00:09:35,095 --> 00:09:37,529
Oh, shit.

166
00:09:41,535 --> 00:09:44,561
A dinner party?
I don't think so.

167
00:09:44,638 --> 00:09:46,697
I'm telling you, Frank,
it's gonna be awesome.

168
00:09:46,774 --> 00:09:50,437
Everybody's gonna be there.
My mom, my dad, Charlie.

169
00:09:50,511 --> 00:09:54,003
No, Mac, I don't think I'm
ever gonna leave this place.

170
00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:59,144
Nail clippings on command. Massages and
hand jobs being thrown around like hotcakes.

171
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:01,653
This is a party in your honor.

172
00:10:01,722 --> 00:10:04,316
We are celebrating
your new relationship.

173
00:10:04,391 --> 00:10:07,019
Can I bring my bang maid?

174
00:10:07,094 --> 00:10:09,494
Of course, dude. You can
bring anybody you want.

175
00:10:10,564 --> 00:10:13,692
Bonnie!
Oh, uh, yes, Frank?

176
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:16,395
Stop making lasagna.
We're goin' out tonight.

177
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:19,906
Oh. Okay, Frank.
She's in.

178
00:10:19,973 --> 00:10:22,567
All right, I'll see you tonight
at 8:00. And the trap is set.

179
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:24,577
Sweet, bro.
What the hell are you doing?

180
00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:28,081
Siphoning boxed wine.
Why?

181
00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:30,981
Why? Bro, this is
the perfect plan, man.

182
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:34,748
Dude, if we get your dad drunk enough, he's
gonna be able to see past your mother's looks...

183
00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:38,019
past her skin,
all that eczema and shit.

184
00:10:38,092 --> 00:10:40,151
He's gonna fall in love with
her all over again, buddy.

185
00:10:40,227 --> 00:10:43,822
Now my mom, she gets so belligerent
and mean when she's drunk, dude...

186
00:10:43,897 --> 00:10:48,391
she's gonna drive Frank right
back into my arms. Into your arms?

187
00:10:48,469 --> 00:10:51,734
Into my... Into my home.
Into my futon and my house...

188
00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:54,365
I'm gonna have Frank back is
what I'm trying to say, dude.

189
00:10:54,441 --> 00:10:56,705
Right. Where'd all
these jars come from?

190
00:10:56,777 --> 00:10:59,610
I emptied out all the tomato sauce.
Hmm.

191
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:02,774
Seems to me like it'd be easier to
steal the box than jars of liquid.

192
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:06,843
No. No. The jars are...
It's easier... You empty...

193
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,048
Where were you 10 minutes ago when
I was coming up with this plan, man?

194
00:11:11,992 --> 00:11:15,257
Okay, I helped you. In
fact, I'm still helping you.

195
00:11:15,329 --> 00:11:18,127
I'm giving you ice for your
broken face, so you call Mac now.

196
00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:20,359
What are you talking about?
You helped me get my ass kicked.

197
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:22,368
I'm starting to think
you did that on purpose.

198
00:11:22,436 --> 00:11:24,370
What?
Yeah.

199
00:11:24,438 --> 00:11:27,601
Oh, how dare you say it.
You call Mac right now.

200
00:11:27,674 --> 00:11:29,608
No. I'm not calling Mac.
No. I'm not calling Mac...

201
00:11:29,676 --> 00:11:31,837
because you're not helping me
with this molester situation.

202
00:11:31,912 --> 00:11:35,814
I'm gonna call Mac's dad, tell him you're
available, that you were asking about him.

203
00:11:35,883 --> 00:11:38,443
All right, fine. I'll help you. But
then right afterwards, you're helping me.

204
00:11:38,519 --> 00:11:41,283
Yeah. Yeah.
Dick.

205
00:11:41,355 --> 00:11:43,755
Oh, Mom, you're gonna
look so good for your date.

206
00:11:43,824 --> 00:11:46,122
All right, here we go.

207
00:11:46,193 --> 00:11:50,027
I think that should just about do it.

208
00:11:50,097 --> 00:11:52,065
What do you think?

209
00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:55,226
Can't see the TV.

210
00:11:55,302 --> 00:11:58,100
Right. I was thinking maybe you could
lay off the TV, just for an hour...

211
00:11:58,172 --> 00:12:00,970
Can't see the TV. Mac, can I
talk to you in here for a second?

212
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:04,238
Yeah. I'll-I'll be right
back, okay? Okay, what's up?

213
00:12:04,311 --> 00:12:06,745
Do me a favor, 'cause I'm
really in the weeds here, bro.

214
00:12:06,814 --> 00:12:10,477
I need you to take some of these spaghetti
sauce things with all the wine in them...

215
00:12:10,551 --> 00:12:12,951
I need you to, like, empty
all... What are you talking about?

216
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:15,648
I am trying to set the right
mood in there. Are you kidding me?

217
00:12:15,722 --> 00:12:18,748
I'm the only one in here! I'm the only
one cooking! Is that my problem, Charlie?

218
00:12:18,826 --> 00:12:21,624
What if we have no ambience? Do you
have any idea what it takes to cook...

219
00:12:21,695 --> 00:12:23,788
Do you want flat ambience?
Get out of my kitchen!

220
00:12:23,864 --> 00:12:25,627
Jesus Christ, Charlie. Jesus
Christ. This is a disaster!

221
00:12:25,699 --> 00:12:30,966
This disaster's on your hands, not mine,
okay? Whoa! Dad. When did you get here?

222
00:12:31,038 --> 00:12:36,738
Shh. Right. Right.
Oh, uh, surprise, Mom.

223
00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:41,941
Surprise! Yea! It's Dad. You guys haven't
seen each other in so long, huh? It's exciting.

224
00:12:42,015 --> 00:12:43,983
Right.

225
00:12:44,051 --> 00:12:46,110
Hey, Dad. Dad,
doesn't Mom look pretty?

226
00:12:46,186 --> 00:12:48,120
No.
Oh, boy.

227
00:12:48,188 --> 00:12:51,248
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we
go. Our guests have arrived.

228
00:12:51,325 --> 00:12:53,691
Oh, sorry. Almost,
uh, touched you again.

229
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:58,163
Okay, guys, you guys ready? Are you ready?
All right, you look ready. Let's do it.

230
00:12:58,232 --> 00:13:01,201
It's all happening. Hello.
HI.

231
00:13:01,268 --> 00:13:03,133
Welcome. Welcome.
Thank you.

232
00:13:03,203 --> 00:13:04,192
You look good.
Thanks.

233
00:13:04,271 --> 00:13:06,296
Can I take your coats?
Bonnie, coat.

234
00:13:06,373 --> 00:13:08,307
Oh.
Sit.

235
00:13:08,375 --> 00:13:10,366
Love you.
Mmm.

236
00:13:10,444 --> 00:13:12,378
Damn, dude.
Harsh, right?

237
00:13:12,446 --> 00:13:16,177
Yeah. I think so too. The woman
prefers to be treated like shit.

238
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:18,480
I ain't never seen
anything like it in my life.

239
00:13:18,552 --> 00:13:22,852
Attention, everybody! Attention,
everyone! Your dinner is served.

240
00:13:22,923 --> 00:13:25,323
Ohh!
Pipe down.

241
00:13:30,564 --> 00:13:33,192
This is, uh, delicious, Charlie.

242
00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:38,068
Why, thank you, Mac. It's
crap. Pure, unadulterated crap.

243
00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:40,368
Uh, Mother, how's yours?

244
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,035
Um...

245
00:13:44,111 --> 00:13:48,514
it's crap... pure,
unadulterated crap.

246
00:13:48,582 --> 00:13:51,551
Well, I'm not surprised you're saying
that, considering I took a crap in yours.

247
00:13:51,618 --> 00:13:56,282
No, he didn't. He's joking. He's joking.
Charlie did not crap into anybody's food, okay?

248
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:59,883
Mother, you might be wanting to have some more
of this turkey sangria, wash that crap down.

249
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,224
No. Bonnie.
She doesn't want any more.

250
00:14:02,296 --> 00:14:05,060
Shut up, Frank. You don't know what she
wants any more than she knows what you want.

251
00:14:05,132 --> 00:14:07,862
You know who knows what you want? I
do. I've always known what you want.

252
00:14:07,935 --> 00:14:10,699
And I can give you want you want.
Just let me give you what you want.

253
00:14:10,771 --> 00:14:13,569
I don't think so, Charlie. I don't
think so. Let's change the subject.

254
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:18,839
Dad. Dad, maybe you want to regale us
with a story from prison or my childhood?

255
00:14:18,912 --> 00:14:22,279
Mmmmm.
Oh, my. You were in prison?

256
00:14:22,349 --> 00:14:24,146
Yeah.

257
00:14:24,217 --> 00:14:27,675
That's very interesting, Luther. Now that you
and my mother are opening a dialogue here...

258
00:14:27,754 --> 00:14:30,723
I don't know if you've taken any time out
of your dinner to notice her ample breasts.

259
00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:32,190
What?
Charlie.

260
00:14:32,259 --> 00:14:34,819
The man's been in prison a long
time. He probably needs a woman.

261
00:14:34,895 --> 00:14:37,455
What you may or may not have
known Is my mother happens to be...

262
00:14:37,531 --> 00:14:39,556
one hell of a whore
of a man-stealing woman!

263
00:14:39,633 --> 00:14:42,261
Charlie, that's just rude.
What are you doing, Charlie?

264
00:14:42,336 --> 00:14:46,329
It's okay, because my dad already
has a woman, Frank. Uh, you have Mom.

265
00:14:46,406 --> 00:14:48,567
She hates me. That's not
true. That's not true.

266
00:14:48,642 --> 00:14:51,008
Mom, you don't hate
Dad, do you? Oh, yeah.

267
00:14:51,078 --> 00:14:53,979
Damn it. Mother, I don't know
if you know this or not...

268
00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:56,982
but Luther happens to be a
very successful drug dealer. Oh.

269
00:14:57,050 --> 00:15:00,451
This might appeal to the whore in you.
He happens to have beautiful blue eyes...

270
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,488
that just pop right out of his head.

271
00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:05,992
I don't blink. The man doesn't
blink, Mom. The man doesn't blink.

272
00:15:06,059 --> 00:15:08,823
Stay away from my bang maid. Damn
it, Frank! This isn't about them...

273
00:15:08,895 --> 00:15:11,693
Charlie... or Mac or anyone else...
this is about you and me, bro.

274
00:15:11,765 --> 00:15:15,496
This is about dudes living together, hanging
out, sharing their bed and their life...

275
00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:17,503
No. That's not what this is about!
Yes!

276
00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:21,598
This is about people meeting back up
after many years and sparks flying...

277
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:26,135
and families getting back together and
raising little boys so they can be happy again!

278
00:15:26,213 --> 00:15:28,807
Okay, happy boys! This
is about happy boys!

279
00:15:28,882 --> 00:15:31,680
Bonnie, I'll call you sometime.

280
00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:34,448
No!
Oh, that's it! That's it!

281
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:38,048
Ah, it's on! You've ruined
this, and I'll never forgive you.

282
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:40,355
We're out of here. I
will never forgive you.

283
00:15:40,427 --> 00:15:42,327
Oh, come on.
You'll forgive me.

284
00:15:42,396 --> 00:15:46,890
Mmm! And the seed is planted.

285
00:15:48,969 --> 00:15:51,301
All right, listen, douche bag...

286
00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:53,805
apparently people think we look
alike... personally, I don't see it.

287
00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:59,369
Holy shit! No. Yeah, I see that. We got
the same eyes, same nose, same lips, same...

288
00:15:59,446 --> 00:16:01,038
And the chin.
What are you doing?

289
00:16:01,114 --> 00:16:04,413
That's what it is. It's all in here
is the same. Same jawline and chin...

290
00:16:04,484 --> 00:16:06,645
But look at his whole neck parts.

291
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,483
Yeah, it's right in here.
Mm-hmm. It's all there.

292
00:16:08,555 --> 00:16:11,251
What? Who are you here to
help? But look at his-his...

293
00:16:11,324 --> 00:16:14,054
I have a chiseled, noble...
That's not the point.

294
00:16:14,127 --> 00:16:17,221
The point is you got to leave so I
can live my life in peace. Listen, pal.

295
00:16:17,297 --> 00:16:21,233
This is a pretty sweet situation I got going
here. You're out there looking like me...

296
00:16:21,301 --> 00:16:24,930
taking all my heat while I'm in here
watching the Disney channel all day long.

297
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:26,939
Why the hell would I move?

298
00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:31,307
We were afraid it might come to that.
Timmy, could you come out here for a second?

299
00:16:31,378 --> 00:16:36,873
Timmy, will you recite for our husky friend
here the little courtroom speech we prepared.

300
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:38,884
I have a friend.
His name Is Wendell.

301
00:16:38,952 --> 00:16:41,546
He showed me funny movies with
fully naked people in them.

302
00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:44,784
He gives me juice boxes
that make me sleepy.

303
00:16:44,858 --> 00:16:48,453
All right, I get it. He's
silly. He's a tickle monster.

304
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,291
Listen, kid,
I said I get it, okay?

305
00:16:50,363 --> 00:16:54,390
He makes me taste things I don't
want to. He puts things in my heinie.

306
00:16:54,468 --> 00:16:57,266
Goddamn it! Will you make
the kid stop, please? Come on.

307
00:16:57,337 --> 00:17:00,465
I think that ought to do it. Yeah.
That's good, Timmy. So you'll leave?

308
00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:04,601
Yeah, I'll leave.

309
00:17:08,181 --> 00:17:10,115
Lady

310
00:17:10,183 --> 00:17:14,984
When you're with me
I'm smiling

311
00:17:15,055 --> 00:17:16,989
Give me

312
00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:18,991
Whoaoaoa
All your love

313
00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:22,392
So I say that went very well. Didn't
you think it went well? Shut up, Charlie.

314
00:17:22,462 --> 00:17:25,920
Hey, hey, hey. I agree with
Charlie. I thought it was nice.

315
00:17:25,999 --> 00:17:27,933
Hey, pull over. Pull over.
Here?

316
00:17:28,001 --> 00:17:31,630
Yeah, yeah. What, do you have another
name on your correspondence list?

317
00:17:31,705 --> 00:17:36,142
Yeah. Okay, you two, stay right here.

318
00:17:36,209 --> 00:17:40,168
This one shouldn't take long.

319
00:17:42,315 --> 00:17:44,249
Bro, can I talk to you
for one second? Yeah.

320
00:17:44,317 --> 00:17:46,012
What the hell's up with that?
It's weird. I don't know.

321
00:17:46,086 --> 00:17:48,611
This shiteating behavior. He's been
acting very weird about this list.

322
00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:51,623
What's up with this correspondence
list? Who are these people?

323
00:17:51,691 --> 00:17:54,819
Judge Hatcher. District Attorney
Andrews. Warden Phillips. What?

324
00:17:54,895 --> 00:17:57,455
I think he's killing
those people. Charlie.

325
00:17:57,531 --> 00:18:00,159
Holy shit! He's killing... He's
probably eating them too, dude.

326
00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:02,963
And although I think eating people
is very cool, not if we're involved.

327
00:18:03,036 --> 00:18:05,903
No, Charlie, he is not killing
anybody, okay? We're accomplices.

328
00:18:05,972 --> 00:18:10,500
No, we are not. He told me these are people
from his past, and he's got to take care of them.

329
00:18:10,577 --> 00:18:13,205
And once he takes care of them,
he's gonna take care of me.

330
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,214
Oh, my God!

331
00:18:15,282 --> 00:18:18,445
Wait, that doesn't sound good. No, that
doesn't sound good at all for you, bro.

332
00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:21,248
I'm on the list, of course,
and then... Uhoh. What?

333
00:18:21,321 --> 00:18:22,811
Number 12.
What?

334
00:18:22,889 --> 00:18:24,015
Charlie.
What?

335
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,387
Charlie.
Why am I on there?

336
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:27,449
I don't know. I don't belong
on there! That's bullshit!

337
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,518
You don't put a man
on a list! Rip it off!

338
00:18:29,596 --> 00:18:31,826
You think he memorized it? Of course
he memorized it. That's pointless.

339
00:18:31,898 --> 00:18:34,662
Okay, I... What's this
about? Why am I on the list?

340
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:36,793
Charlie...
It's the heroin thing.

341
00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:38,963
Remember when he asked us to
put heroin in our butts... Yes.

342
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:40,973
And smuggle it into
prison and we didn't do it?

343
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:44,238
Now he's all hot and bothered 'cause we don't
give him heroin? We don't put it in our butts?

344
00:18:44,311 --> 00:18:47,838
You don't do that! You don't eat someone
'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!

345
00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:49,882
Let's get out of here.

346
00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,009
Hold on! Calm down, Charlie!
Red to red! Red to red!

347
00:18:52,085 --> 00:18:54,485
Are you sure it's red to red?
Am I sure it's red to red?

348
00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:56,488
You hold this one! I'm
freakin' out! Red to red!

349
00:18:56,556 --> 00:18:58,751
Red to red!
I can do it, right?

350
00:18:58,825 --> 00:19:01,191
Lady
Let's go!

351
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:03,752
Of the morning

352
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:11,427
What can I do you for?
We need to talk.

353
00:19:11,503 --> 00:19:13,664
What is going on in here?

354
00:19:13,739 --> 00:19:15,934
Just laying low and
breaking world records.

355
00:19:16,008 --> 00:19:18,568
Don't even think about breathing,
bitch. All right, so here's the deal.

356
00:19:18,644 --> 00:19:20,839
Got rid of that child molester.
The sexual predator guy?

357
00:19:20,913 --> 00:19:23,746
Yeah, he's gone. He's out of the
situation, so my problems are solved.

358
00:19:23,816 --> 00:19:26,546
You had a thing too, right? Mac's
dad. I want your dad out of the bar.

359
00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:28,246
Great. Me too.
Really?

360
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,844
I'm pretty sure he wants
to kill me, actually.

361
00:19:29,922 --> 00:19:31,856
Why would your dad want to kill you?

362
00:19:31,924 --> 00:19:34,791
Not sure. But we've been driving around
in your car. He's got this list of names.

363
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,794
He's been checking them off...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Walt a second.

364
00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:39,353
You've been driving around in my car?

365
00:19:39,431 --> 00:19:42,525
Uh, my dad made me steal it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude.

366
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:45,502
That son of a bitch. He's a dangerous man,
and I don't want him in the bar anymore.

367
00:19:45,571 --> 00:19:46,936
Okay.
Are you kidding me?

368
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:50,271
Dee, that's final! Don't argue
with me! Mac, call the police.

369
00:19:50,342 --> 00:19:55,939
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Luther, I'll wait for you.

370
00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:58,210
Oh. Okay, Mom. Mom, are
you okay? Are you okay?

371
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,548
Oh, Charlie, they're taking him away.

372
00:20:00,619 --> 00:20:04,749
They're taking away my Luther. Mom, I
was... Mom! Mom, sorry. Can you listen to me?

373
00:20:04,823 --> 00:20:07,621
Don't ever take Frank from me again!
He's mine now! I got him back, so...

374
00:20:07,693 --> 00:20:10,924
What? Officer. Officer,
we know everything.

375
00:20:10,996 --> 00:20:13,965
What are you talking about? We're the ones
that called you. That's my dad you're arresting.

376
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,263
He's been killing all the
people on this list. Oh, yeah.

377
00:20:16,335 --> 00:20:19,668
We looked into all that already.
He wasn't killing those people.

378
00:20:19,738 --> 00:20:22,764
In fact, everybody on that
list spoke very highly of him.

379
00:20:22,841 --> 00:20:24,399
Spoke highly of him?
What?

380
00:20:24,476 --> 00:20:27,445
Yeah. Apparently, he was making
amends with all the people he wronged.

381
00:20:27,513 --> 00:20:29,947
Then if he hasn't been killing
anybody, why are you arresting him?

382
00:20:30,015 --> 00:20:32,040
Because he violated his parole.

383
00:20:32,117 --> 00:20:35,746
He's not supposed to leave the state and
we caught him buying three airline tickets.

384
00:20:35,821 --> 00:20:38,085
To where?
Cooperstown, New York.

385
00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:41,923
Said he was gonna take some guy
named Mac and some guy named Charlie.

386
00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:43,962
Oh.
You guys have a good one, huh?

387
00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:48,432
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Dad.

388
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:53,369
Dad! Dad, you did want to
take me to the Hall of Fame.

389
00:20:53,439 --> 00:20:55,964
Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.

390
00:20:56,041 --> 00:20:58,874
It is a surprise. It's
a huge surprise, Dad.

391
00:20:58,944 --> 00:21:02,141
And I wanted Charlie to know there were
no hard feelings about that whole...

392
00:21:02,214 --> 00:21:04,148
you know, heroin thing.

393
00:21:04,216 --> 00:21:06,514
Ohh.
Oh, my God, Dad.

394
00:21:06,585 --> 00:21:09,145
I am so sorry for ratting
you out and turning you in.

395
00:21:09,221 --> 00:21:12,782
You weren't gonna kill me. Of course
you weren't gonna kill me. I'm your son.

396
00:21:12,858 --> 00:21:16,294
No, I wasn't gonna kill you.

397
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,557
But I'm going to now.

398
00:21:20,132 --> 00:21:23,363
Huh?
Yeah.

399
00:21:23,435 --> 00:21:27,462
As soon as I get out,
I'm gonna kill you.

400
00:21:27,539 --> 00:21:30,474
See you, Son.

401
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:32,976
See you real soon.

402
00:21:38,751 --> 00:21:41,015
Lady

403
00:21:41,086 --> 00:21:45,284
Of the morning

404
00:21:45,357 --> 00:21:48,053
Love shines

405
00:21:48,127 --> 00:21:52,291
In your eyes

406
00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:54,855
Sparkling

407
00:21:54,933 --> 00:21:58,164
Clear and lovely

408
00:21:58,237 --> 00:22:02,674
You're my lady

409
00:22:02,741 --> 00:22:04,675
Lady

410
00:22:04,743 --> 00:22:09,180
Turns me on when I'm lonely

411
00:22:09,248 --> 00:22:12,217
Show me
Whoaoaoa