1 00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:29,839 Subtitles: swsub.com (1.07) 2 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,277 Which means, which means... 3 00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,761 a profit so far this year of... 4 00:00:39,933 --> 00:00:42,926 - 1 800 billion billions. - Splendid! 5 00:00:43,074 --> 00:00:45,172 This doesn't even include the added revenue 6 00:00:45,328 --> 00:00:46,972 arising for your take over of ITV! 7 00:00:47,262 --> 00:00:49,981 ITV? I'd forgotten about ITV. Brilliant! 8 00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:53,496 Gentleman, when I first started Reynholm Industries, 9 00:00:53,810 --> 00:00:55,688 I had just two things in my possession: 10 00:00:56,281 --> 00:00:58,470 a dream and 6 million pounds. 11 00:01:00,246 --> 00:01:02,838 Today, I have a business empire, the like of which... 12 00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:05,287 the world has never seen the like of which. 13 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,094 Hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say... 14 00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:11,635 that I am the greatest man in the world! 15 00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:15,793 Gentleman, to the future. 16 00:01:17,282 --> 00:01:19,564 Oh, you don't have any glasses. Just pretend. 17 00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:22,101 - To the future! - To the future! 18 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,211 Sorry to interrupt but there are some policemen here, 19 00:01:26,611 --> 00:01:28,144 they say they need to speak to you 20 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,479 about irregularities in the pension fund. 21 00:01:31,027 --> 00:01:33,464 I see. Could you make me a cup of tea, please, Stephanie? 22 00:01:50,288 --> 00:01:52,380 Earlier that day... (del VO) 23 00:01:53,186 --> 00:01:54,210 Nice. 24 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,745 - Isn't she a beauty? - It's certainly a phone. 25 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,837 160 PPI screen. 26 00:02:00,977 --> 00:02:03,570 - Wi-Fi enables... - Ask me what kind of phone I've got. 27 00:02:03,898 --> 00:02:06,856 - What kind of phone have you got? - It doesn't matter. 28 00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:10,761 Voice recognition. So let's say I wanted to call my mum, 29 00:02:10,966 --> 00:02:12,940 I just have to say "mum", and it calls her. 30 00:02:13,109 --> 00:02:15,677 I don't need to do anything. It's the dog’s bollocks. 31 00:02:16,692 --> 00:02:18,279 Mum, mum, no... 32 00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:20,557 No, I'm sorry. No, Moss said that. 33 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:23,399 Yeah, okay, I'll call you later, bye. 34 00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:27,340 Only problem with it is that it's got a very weedy vibrate setting. 35 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,753 I mean, watch this. 36 00:02:33,615 --> 00:02:34,926 I mean, what is that? 37 00:02:35,099 --> 00:02:36,819 - I'll sort it out. - Oh, could you? 38 00:02:36,966 --> 00:02:39,208 Just you know, welly up the vibrator a bit. 39 00:02:39,348 --> 00:02:41,849 Okay, all right. Now, will you answer this question? 40 00:02:42,042 --> 00:02:43,220 Are we still on this? 41 00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:45,726 You keep interrupting! We would've been done ages ago, 42 00:02:45,906 --> 00:02:47,606 - but you... - All right, go on. 43 00:02:47,806 --> 00:02:50,630 Question 39. When was the last time you exercise? 44 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,501 The last time I exercised was never. 45 00:02:55,817 --> 00:02:59,305 I'm still reeling from your answer to question 12. 46 00:02:59,506 --> 00:03:00,764 What was question 12? 47 00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:03,214 You brush your teeth in the bath. 48 00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:06,798 - So? - That's where your balls are. 49 00:03:08,665 --> 00:03:10,310 Okay, question 40. 50 00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,088 Do you get your five fruit and veg? 51 00:03:13,218 --> 00:03:15,910 I mean, I certainly try to... I would say I probably do. 52 00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:18,484 - A day. - A what? 53 00:03:20,465 --> 00:03:22,031 You're going to love this. 54 00:03:22,176 --> 00:03:24,542 This website takes all the information you gave me 55 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:25,882 and guess what it does? 56 00:03:26,121 --> 00:03:28,463 It actually estimates the date of your death! 57 00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:30,544 - What? - I know. 58 00:03:30,684 --> 00:03:32,947 - Unbelievable, isn't it? - What? Wait a second. 59 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,861 I know about those! Everyone knows about those! 60 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:39,157 All right, so you've already done it. So, when's the big day? 61 00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:42,920 I haven't done it! Why would I want to do it? 62 00:03:43,062 --> 00:03:46,150 - I get March 2nd 2079. - Oh, my God! 63 00:03:46,314 --> 00:03:48,185 That's right, baby! I've got 70 more years! 64 00:03:48,331 --> 00:03:50,416 Okay, Moss, close that window! 65 00:03:50,556 --> 00:03:53,242 - I do not wanna know! - But I've written it all in now. 66 00:03:53,637 --> 00:03:55,688 I do not wanna know the date of my death. 67 00:03:56,118 --> 00:03:57,301 Close it. 68 00:03:58,557 --> 00:04:00,492 Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and... 69 00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:02,292 You know, I'm sick of saying that. 70 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:03,850 What do you want? 71 00:04:04,815 --> 00:04:06,825 Okay, yeah, someone will be up in a minute. 72 00:04:07,317 --> 00:04:08,439 Maybe. 73 00:04:21,101 --> 00:04:22,798 You looked! 74 00:04:23,579 --> 00:04:24,851 You know! 75 00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:26,870 You know when I'm going to die! 76 00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,027 I do, yes. 77 00:04:28,743 --> 00:04:31,636 - I told you not to look! - I made a mistake. 78 00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:39,423 When is it? 79 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,569 - You don't wanna know. - You can't say that to me now! 80 00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:46,811 My advice, Roy, is to forget all about this. 81 00:04:47,599 --> 00:04:50,134 What, how long more they've given me, 20 years? 82 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,685 It's less than twenty? 83 00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:56,622 You see, I don't think this is taking into account leap years. 84 00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:59,844 So that could well be something to hang on to. 85 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:01,956 What does it say, Moss? 86 00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,797 Does it say I'm already dead? 87 00:05:04,744 --> 00:05:07,052 - No, that would be terrible. - Thank God. 88 00:05:07,337 --> 00:05:09,013 - It's Thursday. - What? 89 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,543 - It's Thursday. - Thursday? 90 00:05:12,685 --> 00:05:14,920 Again, remember, leap years. 91 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,628 It's Thursday! 92 00:05:19,203 --> 00:05:20,746 Thursday the 3rd! 93 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,933 Although, not too late after noon, so that gives you most of the day. 94 00:05:24,088 --> 00:05:25,591 What? 3 p.m.! 95 00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:29,116 - How could they be that specific? - Yeah, it's silly. 96 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:34,090 These things are, at best, 79% accurate. 97 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:36,017 Oh, good. 98 00:05:36,366 --> 00:05:39,070 I would take no further notice of it. 99 00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:42,346 Yeah, you're right, it's silly. 100 00:05:42,486 --> 00:05:44,644 I will take no further notice of it. 101 00:05:45,717 --> 00:05:49,614 Apparently, there's something wrong with all the computers on 7th. Who wants it? 102 00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,681 You look terrible. Are you ill? 103 00:05:56,299 --> 00:05:57,455 I don't know. 104 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,775 These idiots disabled the flipping firewall! 105 00:06:05,405 --> 00:06:07,249 Yeah, hello, excuse me. 106 00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:10,075 Thank you, some attention please. 107 00:06:10,215 --> 00:06:12,104 I know you don't think it's "important" 108 00:06:12,244 --> 00:06:14,938 or "cool" but there is a ruddy good reason 109 00:06:15,078 --> 00:06:17,839 why we put up anti-virus software and firewalls. 110 00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:21,041 It's because there are a lot of dangerous things out there. 111 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:22,421 Jesus! 112 00:06:23,188 --> 00:06:24,745 You know, calm down. 113 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,460 Just don't disable the firewalls. 114 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,535 Okay, 73', that's good, that's good. 115 00:06:30,763 --> 00:06:34,181 And mum, what age did Uncle Tony die? 116 00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,032 32? 117 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,257 It was a car accident? Brilliant! 118 00:06:40,397 --> 00:06:42,684 Okay, no, I completely forgot... Okay. 119 00:06:42,929 --> 00:06:44,117 Mum, I have to go. 120 00:06:44,473 --> 00:06:47,634 Unbelievable, some brainiac disabled his firewall 121 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:51,199 which means that all the computers on floor 7 are teeming with viruses. 122 00:06:51,339 --> 00:06:54,351 Plus, I've just had to walk all the way down the mother fudging stairs 123 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,921 because the lift is broken, again. 124 00:06:57,622 --> 00:06:58,630 Oh, my God. 125 00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,570 - What? - Oh, my God. 126 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:01,807 What? What it is? 127 00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:04,168 Denholm is dead. 128 00:07:04,498 --> 00:07:05,973 Oh, yes, and Denholm is dead. 129 00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,670 Okay, everyone ready? 130 00:07:14,743 --> 00:07:17,254 You look great. We should go to more funerals. 131 00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:20,143 Yeah, except, is there any chance I could... 132 00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:22,598 - not go to this one? - No, why? 133 00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:25,483 It's just, you know, funerals. 134 00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:27,481 So morbid. 135 00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:30,114 Would you please forget this website nonsense? 136 00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:32,022 You are not going to die. 137 00:07:32,224 --> 00:07:34,723 Come on, cheer up! You're gonna ruin the funeral. 138 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,244 Yeah, you're right. Pay no attention to me. 139 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,956 I'm being an idiot. 140 00:07:40,229 --> 00:07:41,567 Dead man walking! 141 00:07:45,368 --> 00:07:46,602 Very funny. 142 00:07:47,024 --> 00:07:48,958 You crazy little bastard! 143 00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:52,230 When did you last exercise, Jen? 144 00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:54,454 No, you are not going to do it to me. 145 00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:56,224 - Scared? - No. 146 00:07:56,414 --> 00:07:58,588 I happen to think I have a good few years left. 147 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,535 I take plenty of exercise and I haven't smoked for 3 years. 148 00:08:01,743 --> 00:08:03,372 I didn't know you smoked. 149 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,193 I was on 40 a day by the end. 150 00:08:05,348 --> 00:08:08,269 40 a day, that's 146 002 a decade. 151 00:08:08,409 --> 00:08:11,222 Presuming at least two leap years. How the flip do you give up? 152 00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:14,059 Basically, pure self-control, Moss. 153 00:08:14,269 --> 00:08:16,142 No, I'd never smoke again. 154 00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:19,256 I'd rather lick a tramp. Derek, Hello. 155 00:08:21,189 --> 00:08:22,485 Hello, Jen. 156 00:08:22,784 --> 00:08:25,050 Thanks for printing out those funeral announcements. 157 00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:27,131 Oh, no, I enjoyed doing it. 158 00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:33,365 You know, in a sad way. 159 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,703 - Can I have a word, please? - Sure. 160 00:08:39,577 --> 00:08:40,978 Hey, oh, my phone. 161 00:08:41,118 --> 00:08:42,919 Oh cool, have you souped up? 162 00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:46,571 Yeah, I totally pimped your phone, girlfriend. 163 00:08:55,937 --> 00:08:57,293 What set are you setting? 164 00:08:57,914 --> 00:09:00,491 That is the lowest setting. 165 00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:04,487 It shall come as no surprise to you that I don't like this department. 166 00:09:04,637 --> 00:09:06,045 Never have, never will. 167 00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:08,158 I see no need for an IT department, 168 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,158 I would much rather use this basement for something important. 169 00:09:11,298 --> 00:09:13,071 Like a big toilet! 170 00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:17,535 I have to say that actually, it's a bit of a surprise. 171 00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:20,658 - Really? I did send out a memo. - I didn't get it. 172 00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:23,368 - I had no idea you felt like this. - Well, I do. 173 00:09:24,199 --> 00:09:26,907 However, I am prepared to give you another chance. 174 00:09:27,047 --> 00:09:29,797 Another chance? But I didn't know we'd already had a chance. 175 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,880 This should be the first chance. You should give us this chance. 176 00:09:33,065 --> 00:09:34,524 And then, another chance. 177 00:09:45,035 --> 00:09:46,895 OK, I'll get it! Give me a go! 178 00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:49,856 I got to put it up to 5. 179 00:09:50,749 --> 00:09:52,395 I'm gonna put it in my pocket! 180 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,121 Put it up to 8! Put it up to 8! 181 00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:03,168 I'm not gonna put it up to 8, Moss! It'll blow my cock off. 182 00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:07,150 - Come on, come on. Put it up! - Okay, I'll put it up. 183 00:10:09,614 --> 00:10:13,646 You do know we are burying a great man today! 184 00:10:15,774 --> 00:10:17,154 Did someone else die? 185 00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,790 I mean Mr. Reynholm! 186 00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:25,548 "Did someone else die?" 187 00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:26,865 Oh, I didn't know. 188 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,510 You have to be careful, he's our new boss. 189 00:10:29,799 --> 00:10:32,013 He hates us, he keeps saying that there's no need 190 00:10:32,239 --> 00:10:34,976 - for an IT department. - Why didn't anyone tell me this? 191 00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:36,878 There was a memo. It just said: 192 00:10:37,029 --> 00:10:38,728 "I hate the IT Department." 193 00:10:43,526 --> 00:10:45,882 You are not coming to the funeral, Richmond! 194 00:10:46,527 --> 00:10:47,588 What funeral? 195 00:11:08,359 --> 00:11:11,406 - Has anyone got the right time? - It's twenty to three. 196 00:11:11,649 --> 00:11:13,142 I'll make it a quarter to. 197 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:17,293 Why? Yes! Because that website said you were going to die at 3pm, didn't it? 198 00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:20,619 - Did it? I can't remember. - How could you forget? 199 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,309 It clearly stated that you were going to die, today. 200 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:26,177 At precisely 3:00. Unless, it was tomorrow. 201 00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,106 But no, it's today, at 3:00. 202 00:11:29,246 --> 00:11:31,232 Well, would you put it out of your mind? 203 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,279 Right, you're right, out of my mind. 204 00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:53,301 Okay, there's Denholm's wife. 205 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,345 I never know what to say to people at funeral. 206 00:11:57,487 --> 00:11:59,009 Neither do I. I'm terrible. 207 00:11:59,165 --> 00:12:01,911 Oh, just say "I'm sorry for your lost", then move on. 208 00:12:04,297 --> 00:12:06,275 - He'll be in our prayers. - Thank you. 209 00:12:08,506 --> 00:12:10,210 - Sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 210 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,384 Move on. 211 00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:17,343 - Sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 212 00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:20,507 It's not like you've lost a pen, is it? 213 00:12:20,687 --> 00:12:22,912 It's so much worse. 214 00:12:25,107 --> 00:12:26,412 Would you like a pen? 215 00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,643 - I have this spare one. - Oh, no, thank you. 216 00:12:29,127 --> 00:12:32,131 - Please, take it. - Why are you giving it to me? 217 00:12:32,958 --> 00:12:34,056 I don't know. 218 00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:38,475 Swings and roundabouts! 219 00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:49,940 Death! 220 00:12:51,619 --> 00:12:53,121 Death is coming! 221 00:12:54,097 --> 00:12:55,346 Death is here... 222 00:12:56,431 --> 00:12:57,595 Death is outside... 223 00:12:58,315 --> 00:12:59,582 There's no escape. 224 00:13:00,428 --> 00:13:02,503 I don't like the way Derek's looking at us. 225 00:13:07,004 --> 00:13:08,741 Who's that knocking at the door? 226 00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:10,858 Yes... 227 00:13:11,393 --> 00:13:13,120 It's death! Yet it'd be. 228 00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:14,791 Is this normal? 229 00:13:14,954 --> 00:13:18,062 Death came for Denholm just as it will come for you. 230 00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:20,824 Who will be next? 231 00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:22,932 You? 232 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,870 Maybe you... 233 00:13:27,211 --> 00:13:30,323 - We are gathered here to... - What's wrong with you? 234 00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:32,916 - ...past of a great man. - Nothing. 235 00:13:34,455 --> 00:13:35,455 A man... 236 00:13:36,088 --> 00:13:37,288 ...like us. 237 00:13:39,977 --> 00:13:43,218 I've never seen a grand-father clock in a church before. 238 00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:45,133 Yet, the one was a second hand. 239 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:47,075 Yes, he had more money than... 240 00:13:47,717 --> 00:13:51,127 most of us here today. But did that make him a better man? 241 00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:57,819 We know Denholm was a man of money. 242 00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:00,412 Yes, he had more money... 243 00:14:02,279 --> 00:14:04,523 than any of us here. 244 00:14:11,596 --> 00:14:13,117 Oh, no! Jesus! 245 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,749 Jesus Christ! 246 00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:21,501 Holy...! Call me an ambulance! 247 00:14:22,147 --> 00:14:23,978 I'm not f****** joking! 248 00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:25,519 And get an ambulance! 249 00:14:25,889 --> 00:14:27,852 I'm not f****** joking! 250 00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:30,005 Call me a f****** ambulance! 251 00:14:33,636 --> 00:14:34,892 Oh, no, wait... 252 00:14:36,422 --> 00:14:37,651 That's my phone! 253 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,595 I think that... It's... 254 00:14:44,153 --> 00:14:46,304 Let's see if... I can't leave it. 255 00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,899 I can't leave it. I'll turn it off. I've just been set up. 256 00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:52,408 Oh, God f***! 257 00:14:56,392 --> 00:14:57,399 Go on! 258 00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:00,734 Oh, it's gone to message. 259 00:15:00,978 --> 00:15:03,933 Hey, Roy, nothing important! Just wondering how the funeral went. 260 00:15:04,081 --> 00:15:05,274 Call me back. 261 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,906 If we are all quite ready, 262 00:15:11,079 --> 00:15:14,967 Denholm instructed that this short film be played before the service. 263 00:15:18,943 --> 00:15:21,017 You're all out of there! You are out of there! 264 00:15:21,347 --> 00:15:22,559 You're history! 265 00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:30,339 If you're watching this, it means I'm dead, now. 266 00:15:30,906 --> 00:15:32,839 And it's all thanks to these little things. 267 00:15:33,648 --> 00:15:35,141 - Wrong! - Shut up! 268 00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:40,075 Cigarettes have finally killed me. 269 00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:42,812 Like they killed my father, my father's father, 270 00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:46,200 my mother's father, my mother, and her father. 271 00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:50,575 I just can't seem to give the damn things up. I love them! 272 00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,816 Sweet smoky cigarettes. 273 00:16:02,231 --> 00:16:03,891 You delicious bastards! 274 00:16:18,423 --> 00:16:19,747 Final clause, Stephanie, 275 00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:23,211 could you categorise the personel files alphabetically from now on? 276 00:16:23,427 --> 00:16:25,433 That rhyming thing, this isn't working. 277 00:16:25,576 --> 00:16:28,137 Also call Who's Who and get them to update my entry. 278 00:16:28,615 --> 00:16:31,920 Well, thanks everyone for coming! Enjoy the rest of the funeral. 279 00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:41,877 Well said, sir! 280 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,138 I will now ask Mr. Pippin to read the eulogy. 281 00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:53,793 I see a lot of faces out there. 282 00:16:54,532 --> 00:16:57,598 Some of you I know, some of you I hope to get to know better 283 00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,430 over the coming months. 284 00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:02,983 Some of you I probably won't be seeing very much off, after today! 285 00:17:04,362 --> 00:17:06,028 The reading of the eulogy 286 00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:09,200 is a duty normally left to the eldest child. 287 00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:12,478 But, as you all know, Denholm's son Douglas 288 00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:16,508 mysteriously disappeared after a lengthy court case, 7 years ago. 289 00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:21,555 Let me start by reading this poem that I saw 290 00:17:22,096 --> 00:17:24,326 in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral. 291 00:17:26,594 --> 00:17:29,467 "Stop... all the clocks." 292 00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:39,433 Father! 293 00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:52,611 - Tits! - We're just a small church. 294 00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:05,020 Unhappy priest! 295 00:18:05,427 --> 00:18:06,920 Where is your God? 296 00:18:07,081 --> 00:18:09,014 Where is your God now! 297 00:18:09,427 --> 00:18:11,863 Here lies a great man! 298 00:18:12,329 --> 00:18:13,731 A great man! 299 00:18:14,088 --> 00:18:16,022 Father! 300 00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:24,061 - Did I miss anything? - They just started Denholm's eulogy. 301 00:18:26,611 --> 00:18:27,739 You stink! 302 00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:30,387 I just smoked a cigarette from a drain. 303 00:18:32,259 --> 00:18:33,477 Well, who's this? 304 00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:36,783 - Hi, I'm Douglas. - Jen Barber. 305 00:18:37,186 --> 00:18:39,883 Beautiful second name! What're you doing after the funeral? 306 00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:43,512 - Douglas! - Speak, priest! 307 00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,611 No, I'm a vic... Your father prepared a second tape 308 00:18:46,754 --> 00:18:49,398 - in the event of your sudden arrival. - A second tape? 309 00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:50,847 I see... 310 00:18:51,742 --> 00:18:54,608 - Actually, I don't follow. - I'll just put in on. 311 00:19:00,576 --> 00:19:03,630 Hello again. If you're watching this, 312 00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:06,588 it's because my son from my 1st marriage has arrived, 313 00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:10,413 caused a scene, and is currently chatting up some nearby trull. 314 00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:11,883 Quiet, woman! 315 00:19:12,114 --> 00:19:14,160 I have something important to tell you. 316 00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:15,775 I'm here, papa! 317 00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:18,495 Reynholm Industries is now yours. 318 00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:22,399 - My Lord, thank you father. - But it's yours at a price. 319 00:19:23,103 --> 00:19:26,375 I want you to promise me now, in front of all your new employees, 320 00:19:26,519 --> 00:19:28,249 that you will never again 321 00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:30,925 become embroiled in a sexual harassment case 322 00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:33,436 - that dangers the company. - I promise, father. 323 00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:38,989 There's one more thing, but it's for your ears only. 324 00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:41,590 So, I want you to stop the tape, take it home, 325 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,069 - and watch it again later in private. - But these are my new family. 326 00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:46,632 I have no secrets from them! 327 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:50,056 OK, Douglas. Now we're alone, I can speak frankly. 328 00:19:50,199 --> 00:19:52,786 You may receive a visit from the police at some point 329 00:19:52,928 --> 00:19:55,043 concerning irregularities in the pension fund. 330 00:19:55,185 --> 00:19:56,231 Turn that off. 331 00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:59,817 I've been using a very creative accountant recently released from jail 332 00:20:00,954 --> 00:20:04,093 - to manage what I call the suck fund! - Where is the remote? 333 00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:07,012 - Now, the suck fund... - I'll do it myself! 334 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,499 Good bye, father! 335 00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:15,963 Right, I'm off. I'll see you all on Monday. 336 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,912 Douglas! Sorry, 337 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,084 I didn't mean to. Derek Pippin! 338 00:20:20,488 --> 00:20:22,268 I worked very closely with your father. 339 00:20:22,644 --> 00:20:24,139 Derek, good to meet you. 340 00:20:24,343 --> 00:20:27,813 I'm afraid I'll be bringing in my own people, so you're immediately fired. 341 00:20:28,363 --> 00:20:29,909 Okay, good luck everyone, and... 342 00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,614 I'll see you later. 343 00:20:37,638 --> 00:20:40,184 - ...and you are ready to go! - Brilliant! 344 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,375 Thank you, computer man! 345 00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:47,533 I'm told my father was particularly proud of the IT department. 346 00:20:48,017 --> 00:20:49,747 Run by a dynamic go-getter, 347 00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:51,903 a genius, and a man from Ireland! 348 00:20:53,345 --> 00:20:54,402 One last thing. 349 00:20:54,866 --> 00:20:57,926 How do I erase files like this one here, marked pensions? 350 00:20:59,453 --> 00:21:01,314 - Just like this. - All gone! 351 00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:03,498 Wonderful. Thanks, guys. 352 00:21:03,714 --> 00:21:06,275 I'll be working very closely with your department. 353 00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:08,962 And I have a feeling I'll be needing you 354 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:12,436 for a lot more than just deleting incriminating files. 355 00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,558 I just mean files. 356 00:21:18,061 --> 00:21:20,708 - OK, we'd better be off. - By the way... 357 00:21:21,499 --> 00:21:25,434 Where's that ootsie-tootsie humdinging-coochie mama-boss of yours? 358 00:21:26,973 --> 00:21:30,252 She went home early. She said she had some catching up to do. 359 00:21:37,101 --> 00:21:38,623 One last thing. 360 00:21:39,107 --> 00:21:40,808 I sorted out this for you. 361 00:21:41,185 --> 00:21:44,555 Now, I'm afraid the vibrate setting is still a little weedy. 362 00:21:44,766 --> 00:21:47,062 So, you may wanna put it all the way up to ten. 363 00:21:48,491 --> 00:21:49,491 Ten! 364 00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:51,375 Shall I do... 365 00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,381 ...done... 366 00:21:53,882 --> 00:21:54,975 ...and done! 367 00:22:02,771 --> 00:22:04,377 Sorry about this, old man! 368 00:22:23,171 --> 00:22:24,492 Now, I like that! 369 00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:42,751 Nearly at the station!