1
00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:02,726
Look at you.

2
00:01:03,295 --> 00:01:06,389
- Look over here. Okay, great, great.
- All right, let's do this.

3
00:01:06,465 --> 00:01:08,160
Do you like my new dress?
Okay, ready?

4
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,168
All right, say "cheese. "

5
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,898
Oh, wait. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

6
00:01:13,939 --> 00:01:17,500
Maybe it's just me, but can
I just say, why "cheese"?

7
00:01:17,576 --> 00:01:20,909
I know it's not your fault, obviously
you didn't make it up, but please,

8
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:22,880
it makes us look like
pod people.

9
00:01:22,948 --> 00:01:24,609
How about something
more snapshot like?

10
00:01:24,683 --> 00:01:25,911
Au naturel.

11
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:34,486
That's good.
I think we've got it, though, don't you?

12
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,720
I'm living the dream
over here.

13
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:39,356
Honey, did you see that young
man Cousin Dougy brought with him?

14
00:01:39,431 --> 00:01:40,989
He's been staring
at you all afternoon.

15
00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:43,762
Don't destroy the cake.
I used fresh tangerines.

16
00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:45,326
Can you taste it
in the frosting?

17
00:01:45,404 --> 00:01:48,771
Has he really? It's delicious.
Yeah, God, his eyes are gorgeous.

18
00:01:48,841 --> 00:01:51,241
They're kind.
And they're gorgeous. Go on.

19
00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:52,777
I'll go over.
You will?

20
00:01:52,845 --> 00:01:54,176
Yeah.
Okay. All right.

21
00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:55,543
Oh, but, honey.

22
00:01:55,614 --> 00:01:58,014
Just don't do that thing
you do. What thing, Mom?

23
00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,347
Oh, you know that little
thing. It's no big deal.

24
00:02:00,419 --> 00:02:02,649
That, you know, when you're
insecure, you're self-conscious,

25
00:02:02,721 --> 00:02:05,087
that little very loud,
nervous laugh?

26
00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:06,522
Honey, it's adorable, but...

27
00:02:06,592 --> 00:02:09,322
Oh, God, look, there she goes.
Oh, look.

28
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,657
Oh, I know, we see it.

29
00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:12,629
She only buttons the part
she can see in the mirror.

30
00:02:12,698 --> 00:02:16,759
At least she shaves more than the front of
her legs now, she's got almost the whole...

31
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,167
Hi.
Hi.

32
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,034
Okay, it's going...
It's okay.

33
00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:21,094
Yeah.

34
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,200
Uh-oh. Kiss of death.

35
00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:33,080
- It was so...
- You're beautiful.

36
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,347
- Are we going to do the picture?
- All right, let's do this.

37
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:36,615
Let's just do it, okay?
Okay.

38
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:37,917
This time I think
we should pose.

39
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:39,082
I think we should
pose for one.

40
00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:42,355
Oh, wait a minute, wait. Hold on for
just one second, okay? Where's Mil?

41
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,919
Oh, God, how did we
lose her?

42
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:47,090
Milly? Where are you?

43
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:52,932
I'm upstairs,
with Uncle Harold's nephew.

44
00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:54,939
The politically-active
open-hearted journalist?

45
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,339
Mil, let me get your sisters
in on this.

46
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:58,603
Maggie, what do you do?

47
00:02:58,677 --> 00:02:59,735
You hit "Speaker," Mom.

48
00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:00,972
No, no, I know.
Okay, I knew that, but...

49
00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:02,638
No, but the one
that says "speak. "

50
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,945
- Mil, we're here, we're all here.
- Hi.

51
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:06,245
So how's it going?

52
00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:08,479
It's good.
It's good.

53
00:03:08,554 --> 00:03:10,351
Okay.
The only thing is

54
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:14,858
I think he may have
a hot dog with a bun.

55
00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:17,761
Are you having a picnic? What?

56
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,355
No. Uncircumcised is back in.

57
00:03:20,432 --> 00:03:23,196
You know that guy I dated
before Derek, he had a...

58
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,737
And I preferred it because
it was so much more dramatic.

59
00:03:25,804 --> 00:03:27,237
When it finally made its
appearance, you were like...

60
00:03:27,306 --> 00:03:28,773
What's in there?

61
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,468
Just stop it for a second.
Just a little...

62
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,476
This is your wedding.
All right.

63
00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:36,446
Honey, just remember, he's
accomplished and he's considerate.

64
00:03:36,515 --> 00:03:39,313
And don't forget, you have one
breast smaller than the other.

65
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,081
Thank you, Mom. God.

66
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:45,649
Wait, didn't he get back
together with his wife?

67
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:47,191
Oh, no.

68
00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:52,595
Well, Milly, congratulations
on your first wedding.

69
00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:56,466
Let's hope it's the first
of many. Cheers.

70
00:03:58,570 --> 00:03:59,935
All right.

71
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:04,039
A little thyme, remember?
For hope.

72
00:04:04,109 --> 00:04:06,839
And they say lavender
for remembrance.

73
00:04:06,912 --> 00:04:08,607
But my grandmother
preferred marigolds

74
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:12,048
'cause she said it made you
remember only the good stuff.

75
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:17,355
I feel like making love to you

76
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,823
My God. All right,
we gotta cut off the champagne

77
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:24,294
and get some food in their
stomachs before there's an encore.

78
00:04:24,363 --> 00:04:27,298
Let's go ahead and get the
entrées ready, all right?

79
00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:28,731
Thank you.

80
00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:34,670
Not a good time.

81
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:37,875
Honey, I was just thinking
about that brilliant

82
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:41,572
but went-overboard-with-the-teeth-bleaching
flute player from Ohio.

83
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:44,681
Yup, he actually stopped
by work to surprise me.

84
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:45,910
- Hey.
- How sweet.

85
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,545
He's getting to know
my staff as we speak.

86
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,350
I guess I was wrong.
I mean, I had him pegged

87
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,857
for one of those guys who
wants you till he's got you

88
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:56,190
and then doesn't think twice about
sleeping with your best friend.

89
00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:58,195
You know, that kind of guy.

90
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:01,198
No, no, Mom. He's great.
Beautiful, beautiful.

91
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:04,997
You know, Mom, I gotta go.
We're about to serve the entrées.

92
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:07,129
And I wore those shoes
that we just bought,

93
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:09,003
no wonder they were on sale,
my feet are killing me.

94
00:05:09,074 --> 00:05:10,769
I'm gonna call you when I get
home, okay? I love you, bye.

95
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:18,543
Milly.

96
00:06:05,497 --> 00:06:07,522
You have no messages.

97
00:06:11,737 --> 00:06:12,761
Oh!

98
00:06:12,838 --> 00:06:14,430
That's it, Cooper.

99
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,831
Whose idea was this? A Korean spa?

100
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,367
- Mine.
- Oy.

101
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,801
Ma, why do you wear
the high-tops?

102
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,463
I just got these.
What's wrong with these?

103
00:07:20,539 --> 00:07:21,870
They're just kind of
depressing.

104
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:25,000
They're kind of something
you would wear in a hospital.

105
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,778
Wait a sec, I'll have
you know, young ladies,

106
00:07:27,846 --> 00:07:30,576
that this underwear
enhances the female form,

107
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:33,846
highlighting the elegance of the waist
and making the legs appear longer,

108
00:07:33,919 --> 00:07:36,285
instead of the...
Well, I'm sorry to say this,

109
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,415
but the awful, you know,
foreshortening aspect of a thong,

110
00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:42,460
which breaks up
the body disproportionately.

111
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:45,622
Mom, come on, for your 60th
birthday, we're gonna break you down

112
00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:46,994
and we're gonna buy you
something beautiful,

113
00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:48,623
something that Grandma Moses
would not wear.

114
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,531
Yes, you are.
And speaking of your birthday,

115
00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:52,729
we've talked about possibly,

116
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,669
like, a really small party. We
feel you should have a party.

117
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,832
Not a big one.
Just intimate.

118
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:56,897
Elegant...
Something very sophisticated.

119
00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:58,169
Because it's a really big
milestone for you, Mom.

120
00:07:58,243 --> 00:08:00,541
No. Misses, no. Absolutely no. Misses...

121
00:08:00,612 --> 00:08:03,604
No, I'm not going to talk about it,
we're not going to think about it

122
00:08:03,682 --> 00:08:07,413
and certainly I'm not gonna not celebrate
the fact that my life is basically over.

123
00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,852
Ma.
But I did find a recipe

124
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,789
for a butterscotch buttercream
cake that is to die for.

125
00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:15,088
We got her.
Totally got her.

126
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,788
Massage naked.
Take all clothes off.

127
00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:20,195
No. Not now, pal. No.

128
00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:21,960
No.

129
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:26,569
Whose idea was this?

130
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:29,129
Which one of you could possibly
think that I would ever enjoy this?

131
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:32,109
No, it was not. It was so you.

132
00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:33,701
Just you wait.

133
00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:35,378
No.

134
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,378
Hi, babe.

135
00:08:44,656 --> 00:08:45,816
Okay.

136
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,667
Honey, I'm worried about you.

137
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,971
It's not sad sobbing. I
promise, Mom, I'm fine, I'm fine.

138
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:09,070
It's just the pressure point
reflex thing.

139
00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:11,471
Pardon?

140
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,744
What kind of oil
would you like?

141
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,718
Oh, wakana oh yulike
to you too.

142
00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:17,949
Mom.
What? It's a greeting.

143
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:29,056
Hey, wait. What are you...
What are you...

144
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:32,931
What are you doing here now?
Hey, that's the head. That's...

145
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:36,072
Soft to hard. Soft to hard.

146
00:09:37,709 --> 00:09:39,267
God damn it.

147
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,180
Oh, my God.

148
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,121
Girls, she's not back
with Rafferty, is she?

149
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:54,522
She doesn't want to
talk about it, Mom.

150
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:58,427
I knew it. I thought we got rid of that
pathologically ambivalent narcissist

151
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,965
three years ago when he almost
stood you up at Mae's wedding.

152
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,432
Well, you know what, Mom?

153
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:03,763
He's never gonna
stand me up again

154
00:10:03,835 --> 00:10:06,895
because he's been sleeping
with my ex-boyfriend.

155
00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:08,166
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, God.

156
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,969
- I could kill him.
- Oh, God.

157
00:10:20,118 --> 00:10:22,143
You deserve somebody
who wants you,

158
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,381
somebody who's as good
and as kind as you are.

159
00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:26,720
Why do you always
have to put me down?

160
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,919
I'm not putting you...
Yes, you are.

161
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:31,189
Love is supposed to make you
feel good about yourself.

162
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:32,628
You shouldn't have to
settle for crumbs.

163
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:35,565
Okay, okay. I know.
I'm an idiot, okay?

164
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,602
- I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- No, no. No.

165
00:10:42,741 --> 00:10:45,574
All right. You're the
psychologist in the family.

166
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,305
What do you think we should do
about your sister?

167
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:50,075
I swear, with men,
she's like psychotic flypaper.

168
00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:53,743
They're either gay, married,
unavailable or out of their minds.

169
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,448
No, Mom, you have to leave her alone.
You have to quit making her so insecure.

170
00:10:57,522 --> 00:10:59,387
She had the least
amount of time with Dad

171
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:02,018
who wasn't exactly
a great male role model.

172
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:05,359
And stop being a helicopter,
Mom, you're hovering.

173
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,426
You're right, you're right.

174
00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:12,861
I'm gonna back off,

175
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,907
I'm gonna give her some space
to sort things out for herself.

176
00:11:15,974 --> 00:11:17,100
Good.

177
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,402
Yeah.

178
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:21,976
If only I could choose
for her.

179
00:11:22,047 --> 00:11:23,105
No.
No. That is so...

180
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:24,876
That is so
Fiddler on the Roof.

181
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,315
Your parents
didn't choose for you.

182
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:27,511
Yeah, but maybe
they should have.

183
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:31,022
You know what I think?
I think you're fixating on her

184
00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:34,115
to avoid dealing with this very
big birthday you have coming up.

185
00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:36,126
I am not fixating on her.

186
00:11:36,194 --> 00:11:39,027
Is it crazy for me
to want her to have

187
00:11:39,097 --> 00:11:42,089
one healthy relationship
in her life?

188
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:44,635
I mean, come on,
if she keeps up this pattern

189
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,000
of wrong choice
after wrong choice...

190
00:11:46,071 --> 00:11:48,505
I mean, okay, one thing
when you're in your 20s,

191
00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:51,406
but 20 years later,
it's not so pretty.

192
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:54,573
Maggie?

193
00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:56,879
I don't...

194
00:11:58,216 --> 00:12:00,616
I don't want her to end up
alone.

195
00:12:01,653 --> 00:12:03,848
You know what I realize?

196
00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:07,449
I give up the search. I don't
need anybody. I mean, look at Mom.

197
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:10,188
She's been single most of her adult
life and she's lived a great life.

198
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:14,062
So you know what? I'm going
to be just like you, Mom.

199
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,327
Just like you.

200
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,801
Milly, you are gonna
thank me for this later.

201
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:25,970
Okay.

202
00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:28,906
"Adult Friend Finder. "

203
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:33,610
"Over 14 million members. "
Well, that's a very good sign.

204
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,346
I like how they use
the word "friend. "

205
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:38,480
Friendship is the cornerstone
of any good relationship.

206
00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:49,424
Oh, my God. Oh, sorry, Coop. I'm
sorry, honey. Wait, okay. Wait. Shoot.

207
00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:51,867
Eat my dick.

208
00:12:52,637 --> 00:12:57,700
No, no, no. Be quiet, okay? Gone,
gone. All goney, right? Gone.

209
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,144
Cooper, quiet.

210
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,985
Gateway customer support.
May I help you?

211
00:13:08,186 --> 00:13:10,177
Mr. Online Support?

212
00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:13,986
Yeah, no. What's happened is my
computer has apparently frozen.

213
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:17,961
No, I was just doing a little bit
of pre-Christmas online shopping.

214
00:13:18,029 --> 00:13:20,497
Why do you need to know
what site I'm on?

215
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,460
Oh, my God.

216
00:13:27,839 --> 00:13:29,272
God darn.

217
00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:32,742
Hello, is this We Match 4 You?

218
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:39,909
"Let me preface this ad by saying if you
are a nut job, pervert or fruitcake, move on.

219
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,284
"Nudists, mama's boys, the
sexually confused need not apply. "

220
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:48,054
"Anarchists, xenophobes, philistines,
masochists, sexists, bigots not welcome. "

221
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:51,789
I know it's $5 a word.
No, well, don't worry.

222
00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:53,525
I'm not that talky.

223
00:13:53,598 --> 00:13:57,193
So let's just take it from
page two. "Chronically itchy. "

224
00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:00,568
"I'm looking for someone with a
steady job who knows the value of work.

225
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:04,370
"That does not exclude
the independently wealthy. "

226
00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:08,403
Okay, hope that goes out...

227
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,143
Polka dots. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I like it.

228
00:14:13,785 --> 00:14:14,752
I like it, I like it.

229
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:29,656
Oh.

230
00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:37,534
Hi. You must be Daphne Wilder.
It's so nice to meet you.

231
00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:39,634
Let's date your daughter.

232
00:14:41,079 --> 00:14:43,377
I'll just dig in real quick,
'cause I'm hypoglycemic,

233
00:14:43,448 --> 00:14:47,145
'cause otherwise my blood sugar hits
the ground and... You know? Okay.

234
00:14:47,218 --> 00:14:51,416
I was just wondering what you think the
cornerstone of any good relationship is?

235
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,388
What is in there?

236
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:56,552
So why don't you just free associate,
okay? I say marriage, you say...

237
00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:57,686
I say marriage.

238
00:14:57,762 --> 00:14:59,957
No, no, I say marriage and...
I say marriage.

239
00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:02,158
Right, but that's not what
I meant. I meant that...

240
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:03,257
I...
I...

241
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:04,495
Me.
Me.

242
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:09,763
I have a slight allergy
to dander and nut meats.

243
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,600
Okay, done,
thank you very much.

244
00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:14,076
It's been wonderful meeting you. Thank you.

245
00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:17,979
Appreciate it, yeah. Right.
Thank you very much. Okay, yeah.

246
00:15:18,049 --> 00:15:19,914
If I say marriage,
then what do you say?

247
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,282
Vera Wang.

248
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,186
Your name is?

249
00:15:33,264 --> 00:15:34,731
Louie.
Huey.

250
00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:42,501
I've already got a woody.

251
00:15:44,142 --> 00:15:45,131
Uh!

252
00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:50,042
How old did you say you were?

253
00:15:56,454 --> 00:15:59,048
My name is Dr. Iris McDunna.

254
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,615
I'm sorry, I'm right in the
middle here, Iris. I know.

255
00:16:01,693 --> 00:16:04,560
I read your ad, "You'll
know me by my polka dots. "

256
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:08,759
I'm a licensed psychologist and
I wanted to offer you my services.

257
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:11,700
I wanted to suggest
that as a mother,

258
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:16,002
you attend, free of charge,
one of my Letting Go seminars.

259
00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:18,736
Hi. I think we were
supposed to meet now.

260
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:23,481
Yeah. Oh, that's...

261
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:24,913
Right.

262
00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:27,548
Right. That is so...

263
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:30,747
Iris, I'm so sorry.
I can't afford to be rude.

264
00:16:31,322 --> 00:16:33,256
I'll leave you my card.

265
00:16:33,558 --> 00:16:36,288
Thank you so terribly much.

266
00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:41,927
God. Thank you, whoever you
are. I'll have another. Another.

267
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,559
I really don't think I can't
get through another one of these

268
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,263
without being
heavily medicated.

269
00:16:46,337 --> 00:16:48,362
That bad, huh?
Bad?

270
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,030
Yeah. Like...

271
00:16:52,577 --> 00:16:53,669
Wow.

272
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:58,115
And I like that you're going
for a younger guy.

273
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,741
Me?

274
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,086
No, no, no.
That ship's docked.

275
00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:07,682
No. No, this is
for my daughter.

276
00:17:11,129 --> 00:17:13,927
Let me get this straight. So
you're meeting these guys for her?

277
00:17:13,998 --> 00:17:15,022
Uh-huh.

278
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:17,091
So she's cool with you
doing this for her, then.

279
00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:19,466
Maybe you should just
go play your guitar.

280
00:17:19,537 --> 00:17:21,698
She doesn't know, does she?

281
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,032
Look.

282
00:17:24,976 --> 00:17:28,878
I wouldn't be here if it weren't
for the fact that Milly is...

283
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:30,437
She's at a crossroads
in her life.

284
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:32,983
Another hard left
and I really...

285
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:37,954
She's like this person who's too
sensitive. You know what I mean?

286
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:41,424
She's an innocent.
She's a pushover.

287
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,653
I'm usually not this
in-the-muck-of-it.

288
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:48,165
I mean, actually, I consider
myself a reasonably sane mother.

289
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,701
Well, yeah,
it is a crazy love, though.

290
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:54,569
I mean, who's to say I wouldn't
do the same for my own kid?

291
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,496
Mmm.

292
00:17:56,641 --> 00:17:59,974
Excuse me. I'm Jason Grant.
I don't mean to interrupt.

293
00:18:00,044 --> 00:18:01,102
I've been waiting
over by the bar,

294
00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:04,637
but I only have so much time
before I have to get back to work.

295
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,020
I just wanted to
ask you about your family.

296
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:15,321
Yeah, well, my dad is an engineer
who was always a closet architect.

297
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,494
And I grew up with a love of old
buildings. I know what you mean.

298
00:18:19,831 --> 00:18:23,426
So I suppose I became the architect
that he always dreamed of being.

299
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,935
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

300
00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:29,036
Oh, thank you, dear Lord.

301
00:18:30,441 --> 00:18:31,703
Can I order you something?

302
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:35,143
You know, actually it turns
out I'm so not hungry at all.

303
00:18:35,213 --> 00:18:39,172
Let me get you the funghi chitarrina misto.
It's the best-kept secret in the city.

304
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,512
Can we have two orders
of that, please?

305
00:18:40,585 --> 00:18:43,577
And a bottle of the
Castellare Chianti Poggiale.

306
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,851
If you insist, huh?
No, I do, I do.

307
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:52,963
Do you mind my asking why a man like
you hasn't found a woman already?

308
00:18:53,631 --> 00:18:55,861
Well, I'll admit
I'm a bit of a workaholic.

309
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:57,993
It's a very important time
in my career right now.

310
00:18:58,069 --> 00:19:01,129
I've found women
but just not the right one.

311
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,140
A lot of great "almosts"
out there.

312
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,438
Oh, yeah, a lot of "almosts. "

313
00:19:06,277 --> 00:19:07,403
Yeah.

314
00:19:11,516 --> 00:19:13,040
You speak Italian, huh?

315
00:19:13,117 --> 00:19:15,108
No, I fake Italian.

316
00:19:15,186 --> 00:19:16,346
I'd really love to learn it.

317
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,651
You know, Milly happens to be
a phenomenal cook.

318
00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:20,782
She's always wanted to take
a cooking tour of Italy.

319
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:23,555
Oh, wow, I was gonna go
there this fall. Really?

320
00:19:23,628 --> 00:19:25,118
But it's a crazy time
for me right now.

321
00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:28,393
My company is celebrating
their tenth anniversary.

322
00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:29,455
Oh.

323
00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:31,667
You're gonna need
a caterer then.

324
00:19:31,736 --> 00:19:34,864
I mean, those kinds of occasions
should be marked, don't you think?

325
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:40,666
You are good. So James Bond.
Yes.

326
00:19:41,212 --> 00:19:43,874
Well, it was a pleasure
to meet you, Daphne Wilder.

327
00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:46,940
Well, Jason, my pleasure.

328
00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:49,145
Gotta love a woman
in polka dots.

329
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:52,087
Not everyone can pull it off.
Thank you.

330
00:19:54,125 --> 00:19:55,149
Bye.

331
00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:56,557
Bye-bye.
Bye.

332
00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:02,522
Oh, my God.

333
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:04,966
Oh, yes.

334
00:20:05,703 --> 00:20:07,330
And the winner is?

335
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:11,075
Duh. Hands down,
bachelor number 17.

336
00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:12,632
Him?
Yes.

337
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:14,601
Oh, I don't trust that guy.

338
00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:16,613
That guy was playing you
like a slide guitar.

339
00:20:16,681 --> 00:20:18,148
He was not.

340
00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:21,014
He's a very stable,
responsible, mature young man.

341
00:20:21,085 --> 00:20:22,450
He has empty eyes.

342
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,614
They were not empty. And who am
I supposed to choose anyway, huh?

343
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:28,682
Who do you think is better?
Me.

344
00:20:29,093 --> 00:20:30,253
What?

345
00:20:31,329 --> 00:20:32,853
I like you.

346
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:36,423
And I have an odd instinct that I'd
like her too. Maybe I should meet her.

347
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:39,664
Let me be perfectly honest
with you, okay?

348
00:20:40,838 --> 00:20:43,466
You're a very charming guy,
irresistible, in fact.

349
00:20:43,541 --> 00:20:45,907
And that's why I know you
would be a horrendous choice

350
00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:49,276
because I'm not looking for a
great affair for my daughter.

351
00:20:49,347 --> 00:20:51,747
You know, like, gorgeous musician
who's gonna break her heart.

352
00:20:51,816 --> 00:20:53,249
I'm looking for
a life partner.

353
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:54,512
That's great. Thanks.

354
00:20:54,585 --> 00:20:58,578
Yeah, no, I love being reduced to a
cultural cliché. That's just terrific.

355
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:01,921
Because only musicians
break people's hearts. Wow.

356
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:03,516
Uh...

357
00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:07,026
It's not the only place
I have them.

358
00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:13,535
Well, look,
you're a great guy.

359
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:15,663
I hope you have a great life.

360
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:18,140
But I have to do
what's best for my daughter.

361
00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:19,574
Yeah, of course you do,

362
00:21:19,644 --> 00:21:22,112
but maybe you don't know
what's best for your daughter.

363
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:23,875
I beg your pardon?

364
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,974
Maybe you do.

365
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:28,910
Maybe I do.

366
00:21:29,687 --> 00:21:31,678
Nice to meet you, Daphne.

367
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:34,551
Pleasure. Pleasure.

368
00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,569
Here we are.

369
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:52,406
Almost here.

370
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,878
Yeah, we've landed. We're
in heaven. Oh, my God.

371
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:59,280
Oh, my God. Look. Oh, God.
Mil, look at this.

372
00:21:59,350 --> 00:22:04,014
Mom, it's polka dots. It's so Minnie
Mouse. I don't even know if I like it. Do I?

373
00:22:04,088 --> 00:22:05,453
I'm hearing you hate it.

374
00:22:05,523 --> 00:22:07,957
Me, too.
Oh, please, just try it on.

375
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:09,425
Why?

376
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,223
Because I said so.

377
00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:13,126
Honey, look,
it might surprise you.

378
00:22:13,197 --> 00:22:15,927
Anyway, you look beautiful in dresses.
In fact, you know what I think?

379
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,161
I think that you should wear it
to that catered affair on Sunday.

380
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:20,602
To work? Mom,
I spill things all the time.

381
00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:23,105
Oh, come on, just try it on.
All right.

382
00:22:25,209 --> 00:22:27,609
Okay. That's incredible.

383
00:22:27,678 --> 00:22:29,543
It's not really me at all.

384
00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:31,775
What are you talking about?
It is totally you.

385
00:22:31,849 --> 00:22:33,714
Well, it's sort of
more you in a way.

386
00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:36,777
You know what it is, it's kind of
Aunt Jemima meets Betty Crocker.

387
00:22:36,854 --> 00:22:39,652
You know, that's ridiculous.

388
00:22:40,258 --> 00:22:41,953
Come on, sweetie,
you know what I'm going to do?

389
00:22:42,026 --> 00:22:44,153
I made up my mind.
I'm going to get it for you.

390
00:22:44,228 --> 00:22:45,889
No, no, no. You're not
getting me this dress.

391
00:22:45,963 --> 00:22:48,454
I don't even like it
and it's absurd for work.

392
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,591
No.

393
00:22:54,105 --> 00:22:55,094
Hello.

394
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:09,884
Excuse me.

395
00:23:12,590 --> 00:23:15,787
These meatballs
are my mom's recipe.

396
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,556
Fantastic, I recommend
everybody try some.

397
00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:28,932
I love that shade of orchid.

398
00:23:29,006 --> 00:23:29,995
Uh-huh.

399
00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:35,376
Thank you, Matisse.

400
00:23:36,647 --> 00:23:39,810
The chicken satay has got a really
unique flavor. What'd you use?

401
00:23:39,884 --> 00:23:43,718
It's cumin. I'm so sorry,
I can't really chat right now.

402
00:23:43,788 --> 00:23:47,451
You guys, the chocolate
waterfall's not in the right spot.

403
00:23:47,525 --> 00:23:49,083
Oh, no, we can't have that.

404
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,560
You know what? Let's just go ahead
and just shift everything over

405
00:23:51,629 --> 00:23:53,426
so it frames the temple doors.
Thank you.

406
00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:55,966
Yeah. That's the perfect spot.

407
00:23:57,235 --> 00:23:58,964
So, you like the building?

408
00:23:59,036 --> 00:24:00,765
I actually think
it's a little cold.

409
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:05,399
I'm Jason Grant.
I'm the architect.

410
00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:11,610
Milly. Nice to meet you.

411
00:24:19,657 --> 00:24:21,682
Come on, Mom.
Pick up the phone.

412
00:24:27,031 --> 00:24:28,999
Oh, Daphne. Here we go. Hello.

413
00:24:29,066 --> 00:24:30,431
Oh, Mom, hi, it's me.

414
00:24:30,501 --> 00:24:32,196
I have to tell you the
most amazing thing happened.

415
00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:33,737
This guy at work
asked me out.

416
00:24:33,804 --> 00:24:35,601
He did?
Yes, he's so cute.

417
00:24:35,673 --> 00:24:38,198
Mom, he's an architect. We're
gonna go out Saturday night.

418
00:24:38,276 --> 00:24:40,608
Oh, you are? I'm just so
excited. I'm so excited.

419
00:24:40,678 --> 00:24:45,581
Milly, well, that is really great,
sweetie. That is so darn great.

420
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,049
It's great, right?

421
00:24:47,118 --> 00:24:49,712
Mom, he's so cute, I can't even
believe that it's happening to me.

422
00:24:49,787 --> 00:24:51,550
And he loved the polka dots.
Thank you.

423
00:24:51,622 --> 00:24:53,283
Oh, yeah?
Thank you Mom. Yes.

424
00:24:53,357 --> 00:24:56,884
Well, honey, it's just,
I guess, dumb luck.

425
00:24:56,961 --> 00:24:58,553
You're the best. I love you.
Okay.

426
00:24:58,629 --> 00:24:59,721
Bye.
Bye.

427
00:25:01,065 --> 00:25:02,760
Coop, come on!

428
00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:05,093
Yep.

429
00:25:07,805 --> 00:25:11,502
Hello, Jason, this is Bond.

430
00:25:12,276 --> 00:25:15,871
James Bond. Call me.
I'm hearing rave reviews.

431
00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:30,790
All right, I just pulled up.
I'm walking in.

432
00:25:30,861 --> 00:25:33,159
It's okay. Don't worry.
I'm here, I'm here.

433
00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:36,625
Sorry, sorry.

434
00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:38,464
No, no, they're not angry.

435
00:25:38,536 --> 00:25:40,367
They're not... Hold on. Sorry.

436
00:25:40,438 --> 00:25:43,737
They're just... They're
probably hungry or something.

437
00:25:43,808 --> 00:25:48,507
Feed them the spring rolls
from the Adams wedding

438
00:25:49,614 --> 00:25:52,674
and the sauce
from the Levy wedding.

439
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,380
All right, I'm walking in.
Okay, bye.

440
00:26:22,913 --> 00:26:25,381
There's a lot of static
out there.

441
00:26:25,449 --> 00:26:27,144
You can say that again.

442
00:26:27,218 --> 00:26:29,209
There's a lot of static
out there.

443
00:26:29,287 --> 00:26:32,381
You know it's caused by a
lack of humidity in the air

444
00:26:32,456 --> 00:26:35,482
that causes an imbalance of the
positive and negative charges.

445
00:26:35,559 --> 00:26:40,496
You know, ice cream is known to cut
the static cling in 98% of most cases.

446
00:26:40,564 --> 00:26:43,032
I love ice cream,
but I'm really late to work.

447
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:46,069
And I'm so sorry.
Nice tattoo, though.

448
00:26:47,138 --> 00:26:48,571
What flavor?

449
00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:52,873
Why don't you get me
your favorite?

450
00:26:52,943 --> 00:26:55,173
Why don't I get your favorite?

451
00:27:00,451 --> 00:27:01,577
Okay.

452
00:27:03,721 --> 00:27:06,121
I'll have the Fudgsicle.

453
00:27:06,190 --> 00:27:08,556
Oh, no, no. The Dreamsicle.

454
00:27:08,626 --> 00:27:09,991
Wait. Is that
the tall rainbow one

455
00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:13,189
that's really embarrassing to
eat, but it's really, really good?

456
00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:14,455
Okay. Never mind.

457
00:27:14,532 --> 00:27:17,296
I will have the Dreamsicly one
that has the green wrapper

458
00:27:17,368 --> 00:27:19,529
with the Japanese writing
on it.

459
00:27:19,603 --> 00:27:20,934
Thank you.

460
00:27:31,115 --> 00:27:33,606
I'm really beginning to feel like
I'm never going to meet anyone

461
00:27:33,684 --> 00:27:35,777
and it's making me
feel hopeless.

462
00:27:36,187 --> 00:27:41,056
Well, as I've said before, Stuart,
Sheila was a huge loss, but that was 1993.

463
00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:42,922
Oh, it's still so fresh.

464
00:27:43,994 --> 00:27:45,825
This makes me feel like
when I was in the 2nd grade,

465
00:27:45,896 --> 00:27:48,797
and I walked around with a booger in
my nose all day and nobody told me.

466
00:27:48,866 --> 00:27:49,890
Why didn't they tell me?

467
00:27:49,967 --> 00:27:52,765
Well, more to the point, why didn't
Sheila tell you she was unhappy?

468
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:54,395
Oh, God, this is making me
feel nauseous.

469
00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:55,996
Maybe I should change
my appointment time

470
00:27:56,073 --> 00:27:57,597
from Thursdays at 3:00
to Mondays at 1:00.

471
00:27:57,675 --> 00:27:59,233
No, Stuart,
we've tried that before.

472
00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:01,107
You had Fridays at 1:00
and Tuesdays at 11:00.

473
00:28:01,178 --> 00:28:03,043
It really didn't help
your hypoglycemia.

474
00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:05,309
Now let's focus
on where we ended last time.

475
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:06,975
Meeting new people,

476
00:28:07,051 --> 00:28:09,918
joining an adult-education
class or a book club.

477
00:28:09,987 --> 00:28:12,114
I did go to an
Internet dating service.

478
00:28:12,189 --> 00:28:14,521
Good for you.
That's very brave.

479
00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:16,457
It was a nightmare,
Dr. Wilder-Decker.

480
00:28:16,527 --> 00:28:20,827
It made me want to kill myself,
even more than the last time.

481
00:28:20,898 --> 00:28:24,994
Wow. Well, what triggered
those feelings, Stuart?

482
00:28:26,203 --> 00:28:30,469
This mother put an ad out looking for a
mate for her daughter and I answered it.

483
00:28:30,541 --> 00:28:33,135
A mate for her daughter?

484
00:28:33,210 --> 00:28:35,144
Stuart, some people
really shouldn't have kids.

485
00:28:35,212 --> 00:28:38,443
I guess I didn't pass the test because
she made me feel about this big.

486
00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:39,983
Well, I wouldn't worry
about that, Stuart.

487
00:28:40,050 --> 00:28:42,245
Imagine how screwed up
any daughter of hers would be.

488
00:28:42,319 --> 00:28:44,981
And then when I pressed her as to why
I couldn't meet her precious daughter,

489
00:28:45,055 --> 00:28:46,955
do you know what she said? I
really hear it didn't go well.

490
00:28:47,024 --> 00:28:49,390
"Because I said so.
That's why. "

491
00:28:51,162 --> 00:28:53,926
Mother, how could you? When
are you planning on telling her?

492
00:28:53,998 --> 00:28:54,987
Well, why does
she need to know?

493
00:28:55,065 --> 00:28:57,556
I mean as long as she's happy,
that's all that's important.

494
00:28:57,635 --> 00:28:59,728
And, my goodness, who knows?

495
00:28:59,870 --> 00:29:02,065
This architect could be
the real magilla.

496
00:29:02,139 --> 00:29:03,333
As I've always said,

497
00:29:03,407 --> 00:29:07,036
"God couldn't be everywhere, and
that is why he made mothers. "

498
00:29:07,111 --> 00:29:09,477
What? That was on
a Hallmark card we gave you,

499
00:29:09,547 --> 00:29:10,912
and Milly thought
it was too corny.

500
00:29:10,981 --> 00:29:14,678
Don't you dare tell her, Maggie, or you
and I are gonna have some serious issues.

501
00:29:14,752 --> 00:29:17,414
Well, we already have
some serious issues, Mom.

502
00:29:19,056 --> 00:29:20,990
Always so dramatic.

503
00:29:21,058 --> 00:29:24,585
Mother, this is like 6th grade
drama club. Speak English.

504
00:29:32,102 --> 00:29:34,593
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

505
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,239
Oh, hi, honey.

506
00:29:37,308 --> 00:29:38,332
Oh, Mom.

507
00:29:38,409 --> 00:29:40,604
I was just in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd drop by.

508
00:29:40,678 --> 00:29:42,976
Okay, Mom. Please,
you have to start calling me.

509
00:29:43,047 --> 00:29:44,981
I have a date that's
on his way over right now.

510
00:29:45,049 --> 00:29:46,778
Oh, but Milly,
you look so beautiful.

511
00:29:46,851 --> 00:29:48,682
Are you sure you want to
wear that dress, though?

512
00:29:48,752 --> 00:29:50,049
It was such a hit the first time. I know,

513
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,712
but don't you think you ought
to mix it up a little bit?

514
00:29:51,789 --> 00:29:54,189
What for? Well, okay, you know, you're right.

515
00:29:54,258 --> 00:29:57,659
You're right. It looks perfect
on you and everything about it.

516
00:29:57,728 --> 00:30:01,255
I'm just sort of wondering, if maybe
you ought to button those buttons.

517
00:30:01,332 --> 00:30:03,527
No, no, I like it like this.

518
00:30:03,601 --> 00:30:05,569
Milly, you look like
you're asking for it.

519
00:30:05,636 --> 00:30:07,069
I am asking for it.

520
00:30:07,137 --> 00:30:10,106
Okay, all right, I'll pretend
I didn't hear that.

521
00:30:10,174 --> 00:30:12,108
All right, what are you
going to do with your hair?

522
00:30:12,176 --> 00:30:13,507
I already did it.

523
00:30:13,577 --> 00:30:16,171
Oh, of course you did.
Sure you did.

524
00:30:16,747 --> 00:30:19,773
And you're making cookies too?
That's about the sweetest touch.

525
00:30:19,850 --> 00:30:22,751
No, actually, I just want the house to
smell like cookies when he gets over here.

526
00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:25,618
Mom, it's 6:49, look. And he's
supposed to be here at 7:00.

527
00:30:25,689 --> 00:30:27,850
You have to go, please, please,
please. Okay. I can take a hint.

528
00:30:27,925 --> 00:30:29,449
It's not a hint. Mom, go.
All right.

529
00:30:29,527 --> 00:30:30,789
Oh, he's here. He's here.

530
00:30:30,861 --> 00:30:31,850
Okay, you gotta go.
All right.

531
00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:33,021
You gotta go please, Mom, Mom.
All right.

532
00:30:33,097 --> 00:30:34,894
But wait, sweetie. Just
have a good time. Okay.

533
00:30:34,965 --> 00:30:37,433
Feel free to be yourself, but
remember... I love you, but you gotta go.

534
00:30:37,501 --> 00:30:41,096
...don't be too, you know, forthcoming
with all your failed relationships.

535
00:30:41,171 --> 00:30:42,263
Okay, I got it.

536
00:30:42,339 --> 00:30:43,931
And sweetie, sweetie.
I love you.

537
00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:47,034
Keep that mystery alive. I love
you. I love you for some reason.

538
00:30:47,111 --> 00:30:48,203
Okay.

539
00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:52,906
I'm going to pull my hair out.
What? What, what?

540
00:30:52,983 --> 00:30:54,951
I know, I know.
Just one more little thing.

541
00:30:55,019 --> 00:30:58,352
I don't know, Mom, I gotta go.
He's here. I want you to wear this.

542
00:30:58,422 --> 00:31:00,754
Oh, my God. Grandma's diamond? Yeah.

543
00:31:01,358 --> 00:31:02,723
Put it on me, put it on me.

544
00:31:02,793 --> 00:31:04,158
I want to wear it tonight.
All right.

545
00:31:04,228 --> 00:31:05,991
Okay.
I know. I know, he's coming.

546
00:31:06,063 --> 00:31:08,031
Don't worry. Here we go.
Okay.

547
00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:12,869
Mom, you never let any of us
wear this. It's so special.

548
00:31:13,203 --> 00:31:14,932
So special.
Thank you.

549
00:31:16,473 --> 00:31:17,633
What?

550
00:31:19,176 --> 00:31:23,112
May it bring you luck with the architect.
Your sisters and I will expect a full report.

551
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:24,169
Okay?
Okay.

552
00:31:24,248 --> 00:31:26,512
I'll give it to you tomorrow
night after I go out with him.

553
00:31:26,584 --> 00:31:27,778
Tomorrow night?
Yeah, yeah.

554
00:31:27,851 --> 00:31:30,012
I'm going out with
another great guy tonight.

555
00:31:30,087 --> 00:31:32,647
He's taking me to Luna Station
to hear some music.

556
00:31:32,723 --> 00:31:34,350
You are?
Can you believe that, Mom?

557
00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:36,154
It's like I gave up,
I stopped trying

558
00:31:36,226 --> 00:31:38,387
and the universe brought me
two amazing guys.

559
00:31:38,462 --> 00:31:40,225
Great, right? Wow.
Whoa, that's so great.

560
00:31:40,297 --> 00:31:41,764
It's one of those
amazing things, huh?

561
00:31:41,832 --> 00:31:44,801
All right, sweetie. Well now, bye. Bye-bye.

562
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:53,304
Go, go.

563
00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:55,742
Go, Mother, go.

564
00:31:58,415 --> 00:31:59,973
Hi.

565
00:32:00,384 --> 00:32:02,409
It was either this or roses.

566
00:32:03,754 --> 00:32:05,085
Thank you.

567
00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:07,784
Come on in.
Cookies?

568
00:32:07,858 --> 00:32:08,847
Yeah.

569
00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:10,086
Nice.

570
00:32:11,996 --> 00:32:15,898
Really seem to have such a different
approach and attitude towards life

571
00:32:15,966 --> 00:32:19,629
that people don't really
get here as much, I think.

572
00:32:22,773 --> 00:32:25,173
Okay, don't worry. We're gonna
get a quick look at who he is

573
00:32:25,242 --> 00:32:26,231
and then we're gonna go home

574
00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:29,245
and finish watching Gary
Cooper in Love in the Afternoon.

575
00:32:36,620 --> 00:32:39,714
Come on, man.
Okay. Yes. Yeah.

576
00:32:41,625 --> 00:32:45,117
Okay. Go, go, baby.
Okay, okay.

577
00:32:50,067 --> 00:32:51,329
Come on.

578
00:32:55,673 --> 00:32:58,699
Coop, Coop, everything's okay,
sweetie. Where the heck am I?

579
00:32:58,776 --> 00:33:00,334
God. Okay. Oh, jeez.

580
00:33:00,411 --> 00:33:02,879
Okay. Let me just...
Okay, I'll turn this. Okay.

581
00:33:02,946 --> 00:33:05,005
Welcome, what is your destination?

582
00:33:05,082 --> 00:33:06,982
Luna Station.

583
00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:08,609
Your address is...
Is, okay, what?

584
00:33:08,686 --> 00:33:12,747
...1242 Amherst Boulevard.
12...

585
00:33:12,823 --> 00:33:14,256
So where is Amherst?

586
00:33:14,324 --> 00:33:17,987
Continue north 2.4 miles
and then east.

587
00:33:18,062 --> 00:33:19,757
Well, where is north?
The left?

588
00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:21,229
Continue north
2.4 miles then east.

589
00:33:21,298 --> 00:33:22,856
Give me a left.
Give me a right. Left. Right.

590
00:33:22,933 --> 00:33:24,332
Something like...

591
00:33:24,401 --> 00:33:25,766
Please. For God's sake.

592
00:33:25,836 --> 00:33:27,167
You know what you are?
Continue north 2.4 miles...

593
00:33:27,237 --> 00:33:28,329
I'll tell you what you are.
... and then east.

594
00:33:28,405 --> 00:33:29,770
You are redundant.

595
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,173
Continue north 2.4 miles and then
east. And it's a horrible quality.

596
00:33:33,243 --> 00:33:35,177
You awful machine.
Continue, continue...

597
00:33:35,245 --> 00:33:38,840
And that's for you.
I'm sorry, command too loud.

598
00:33:59,136 --> 00:34:00,433
Are you guys ready to rock?

599
00:34:01,371 --> 00:34:03,339
- Yeah.
- All right.

600
00:34:03,407 --> 00:34:05,773
Let's play something
for Milly over there.

601
00:34:05,843 --> 00:34:07,674
A little blues in E, okay?

602
00:34:07,745 --> 00:34:10,077
One, two, three, four.

603
00:34:12,082 --> 00:34:14,141
Now we're coming up on the A.

604
00:34:18,088 --> 00:34:20,579
Molly, that sounds terrific.

605
00:34:23,093 --> 00:34:24,424
I feel really bad.

606
00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:28,158
No, no, I would have done the same thing
if one of my staff had called in sick.

607
00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:29,631
It's only gonna be
20 more minutes.

608
00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:31,565
It's just that they memorized
an E progression

609
00:34:31,635 --> 00:34:33,603
and that is a major feat
for them.

610
00:34:33,670 --> 00:34:34,659
Okay.

611
00:34:34,738 --> 00:34:36,171
Yeah, I'll be right back.

612
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,707
Go, Nicky.

613
00:34:38,041 --> 00:34:39,167
Yeah.

614
00:34:40,577 --> 00:34:42,670
A little bit harder
over there.

615
00:34:42,746 --> 00:34:45,340
Strum a little bit closer,
up here.

616
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:07,363
That sounds really nice.

617
00:35:07,437 --> 00:35:09,701
Really?
Well, thank you, teacher.

618
00:35:10,674 --> 00:35:14,269
Actually, I love to sing.
My whole family loves to sing.

619
00:35:15,412 --> 00:35:17,607
And when I was younger, I always
wanted to take piano lessons,

620
00:35:17,681 --> 00:35:20,115
but my mom was struggling
so much supporting us all

621
00:35:20,184 --> 00:35:23,415
that I just felt
way too guilty to ask.

622
00:35:24,788 --> 00:35:25,914
Here.

623
00:35:26,690 --> 00:35:27,782
What?

624
00:35:29,259 --> 00:35:30,419
What?

625
00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:33,988
Play what you were playing
before. It sounded really good.

626
00:35:34,064 --> 00:35:35,588
Really?
Yeah.

627
00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:38,531
I'm no good, but okay.

628
00:35:39,436 --> 00:35:40,664
Try it.

629
00:35:45,209 --> 00:35:46,437
Like that?
Yeah.

630
00:35:46,510 --> 00:35:47,499
All righty.

631
00:35:49,146 --> 00:35:50,807
I'll take it up here.
Okay.

632
00:35:50,881 --> 00:35:52,610
We'll meet in the middle.

633
00:35:52,983 --> 00:35:54,780
It's down there.
Sorry.

634
00:35:54,852 --> 00:35:57,116
How about I come close to you?

635
00:35:58,222 --> 00:35:59,712
I don't mind.

636
00:36:00,924 --> 00:36:02,255
All right.

637
00:36:06,096 --> 00:36:08,257
Why are there a lot of ducks
in Venice?

638
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:11,062
Ten ducks are swimming
down the canal

639
00:36:11,134 --> 00:36:14,570
and one says,
"This place is quacked. "

640
00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:18,164
That's terrible.

641
00:36:18,242 --> 00:36:19,641
No, that's really cute,
actually.

642
00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:21,302
It's very cute.

643
00:36:21,378 --> 00:36:23,710
This is me. Come on in.

644
00:36:27,217 --> 00:36:31,813
I love this. It's so cozy.
Thanks.

645
00:36:32,689 --> 00:36:34,247
So comfy.
Yeah.

646
00:36:34,324 --> 00:36:36,451
Three, two, one, blast off.

647
00:36:36,526 --> 00:36:38,357
I'm in orbit. I'm in orbit.

648
00:36:38,428 --> 00:36:42,125
Okay, Lionel, let's... All
right. Okay, come back here.

649
00:36:42,199 --> 00:36:44,759
Let's start winding down
for bed, all right?

650
00:36:44,935 --> 00:36:47,165
Who are you?
What planet do you hail from?

651
00:36:47,237 --> 00:36:51,435
This is Milly from planet Milly.
This is Lionel from planet Johnny.

652
00:36:51,508 --> 00:36:53,806
Hi, Lionel,
it's very nice to meet you.

653
00:36:53,877 --> 00:36:55,504
You have a 'gina.

654
00:36:57,514 --> 00:36:59,038
I have a what?

655
00:36:59,116 --> 00:37:00,879
I have a penis.
You have a 'gina.

656
00:37:00,951 --> 00:37:03,476
Okay, buddy, give me
a break here, okay?

657
00:37:03,553 --> 00:37:05,020
Can I see it?
Hey.

658
00:37:06,256 --> 00:37:08,724
Lionel. Lionel.

659
00:37:09,893 --> 00:37:11,019
- Lionel.
- Dad?

660
00:37:12,129 --> 00:37:13,118
Hi.

661
00:37:13,230 --> 00:37:14,788
This is Milly.

662
00:37:16,733 --> 00:37:18,633
Joe Dresden. Nice to meet you.

663
00:37:18,702 --> 00:37:20,067
Nice to meet you.

664
00:37:20,137 --> 00:37:22,662
Sorry. It's moon dust.

665
00:37:24,608 --> 00:37:25,836
It's okay.

666
00:37:25,909 --> 00:37:28,400
Well, excuse me.
It's usually just us guys.

667
00:37:28,478 --> 00:37:33,177
Johnny hasn't brought home a gal
in, God, I don't know how long.

668
00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,582
Great, I'm getting it
from both sides.

669
00:37:36,586 --> 00:37:37,746
Sorry.

670
00:37:39,323 --> 00:37:41,314
Come on, buddy, let's you
and me go in the other room.

671
00:37:41,391 --> 00:37:44,292
These guys are boring.
Nope, nope, nope.

672
00:37:44,361 --> 00:37:47,125
What'd you have
for lunch today?

673
00:37:47,197 --> 00:37:48,824
Baloney sandwich.

674
00:37:48,899 --> 00:37:51,094
I'm not the baloney.
Yes, you are.

675
00:37:59,977 --> 00:38:02,309
I think we got him. There we go. We got him.

676
00:38:03,613 --> 00:38:05,240
We'll see you.

677
00:38:05,649 --> 00:38:06,911
Night.

678
00:38:15,425 --> 00:38:17,359
Oh, my God.

679
00:38:18,729 --> 00:38:21,823
Mr. Grant. This way.
Hey, man, how you doing?

680
00:38:22,332 --> 00:38:24,061
This is so amazing.
Yeah.

681
00:38:24,134 --> 00:38:26,159
It's really unbelievable.
Yeah?

682
00:38:27,671 --> 00:38:30,663
This is so great.
It's beautiful.

683
00:38:32,075 --> 00:38:33,542
It's great.

684
00:38:33,610 --> 00:38:34,872
I love this angle on the city.

685
00:38:34,945 --> 00:38:38,176
I never knew this existed.
Gosh.

686
00:38:40,183 --> 00:38:42,447
So what's good here?

687
00:38:42,519 --> 00:38:45,716
Well, I hope you don't mind,
but knowing your love of food,

688
00:38:45,789 --> 00:38:48,053
I didn't want you to
miss these.

689
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,114
Oh.

690
00:38:49,459 --> 00:38:52,758
No, no, no, that's great

691
00:38:53,363 --> 00:38:55,297
'cause I make decisions
all day long.

692
00:38:55,365 --> 00:38:58,493
You know, the Gillespies'
daughter is allergic to chocolate,

693
00:38:58,568 --> 00:39:00,593
but she wants a brown cake,
and...

694
00:39:00,670 --> 00:39:03,696
My lease is up on my car, do I get a
hybrid? 'Cause I really believe in them

695
00:39:03,774 --> 00:39:07,005
but I don't know if it's time
to switch insurance, it's...

696
00:39:08,111 --> 00:39:12,138
What I mean is, it's very nice
to not have to think for a change.

697
00:39:21,024 --> 00:39:24,516
Well, last time I was in Italy, I was
in Siena, and they make this wine there,

698
00:39:24,594 --> 00:39:26,425
and this is the only place
in the city that serves it.

699
00:39:26,496 --> 00:39:29,988
You've been to Siena, right? Oh,
well, of course, I haven't. No.

700
00:39:30,067 --> 00:39:31,796
Are you kidding?

701
00:39:31,868 --> 00:39:34,837
Wouldn't it be fun to drink
our way through Tuscany?

702
00:39:34,905 --> 00:39:37,271
It'd be amazing.

703
00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:40,536
God, this calamari is so...

704
00:39:41,111 --> 00:39:45,138
Is that City Hall? God, I love old
buildings. You know, the attention to...

705
00:39:45,215 --> 00:39:47,706
Not that I don't love modern
architecture 'cause I totally do.

706
00:39:47,784 --> 00:39:49,581
It's so bold,
but you know what I mean.

707
00:39:49,653 --> 00:39:52,087
Who wants to live
in all that concrete?

708
00:39:52,722 --> 00:39:57,159
And yet, you know, the Zen of clean
minds, that kind of Asian simplicity,

709
00:39:57,227 --> 00:40:00,390
living without
all the clutter, is great.

710
00:40:04,134 --> 00:40:08,434
This view is amazing.
My mom would love this view.

711
00:40:08,505 --> 00:40:09,802
Oh, yeah?

712
00:40:10,607 --> 00:40:12,507
Does she have good taste?

713
00:40:13,777 --> 00:40:15,176
Impeccable.

714
00:40:17,814 --> 00:40:20,112
Now I know that this is
the part of the evening

715
00:40:20,183 --> 00:40:23,914
where I'm supposed to sit
way over here in this chair.

716
00:40:23,987 --> 00:40:27,252
But can I jump five spaces
and pass "Go"?

717
00:40:28,024 --> 00:40:30,322
Well, "can" implies
"are you capable. "

718
00:40:30,393 --> 00:40:32,953
"May" asks the question.

719
00:40:33,029 --> 00:40:34,519
Milly, may I?

720
00:40:35,365 --> 00:40:37,094
Yes, you may.

721
00:40:37,167 --> 00:40:39,101
Milly, may I kiss you?

722
00:40:56,153 --> 00:40:57,882
I'm sorry. Could you hold
that thought for a second?

723
00:40:57,954 --> 00:40:59,478
I have to, like...

724
00:41:03,727 --> 00:41:04,716
What?

725
00:41:05,162 --> 00:41:09,394
Well, I just got that new conference call
feature, so we thought we'd try it out.

726
00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:11,498
New?
Hey, Milly.

727
00:41:11,568 --> 00:41:13,433
Hi, how's it going?
Yes. He's a great kisser.

728
00:41:13,503 --> 00:41:16,768
- Wonderful. Isn't that great, girls?
- Yeah.

729
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,501
That's so much better than...
Remember that Ted guy?

730
00:41:18,575 --> 00:41:19,803
He seemed to have
a lot of potential,

731
00:41:19,876 --> 00:41:21,400
then he ended up having, like, lizard tongue.

732
00:41:21,478 --> 00:41:22,467
Oh, yeah.

733
00:41:22,546 --> 00:41:24,639
And as I remember,
an over-intake of Mentos

734
00:41:24,714 --> 00:41:26,807
which didn't cover
the buffalo wing breath.

735
00:41:26,883 --> 00:41:28,373
That's disgusting, Mae.

736
00:41:28,451 --> 00:41:30,510
Though, as I recall,
those kisses bombed upstairs,

737
00:41:30,587 --> 00:41:32,111
but had a certain finesse
downstairs.

738
00:41:32,189 --> 00:41:35,158
I remember that.
Yes, downstairs and...

739
00:41:35,225 --> 00:41:36,715
I don't want to hear it.

740
00:41:36,793 --> 00:41:39,318
Guys, all right, I gotta
go kiss. I gotta go kiss.

741
00:41:39,396 --> 00:41:40,522
Okay, I gotta go too.
No.

742
00:41:40,597 --> 00:41:41,894
Me three.
Bye.

743
00:42:10,527 --> 00:42:11,824
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

744
00:42:13,496 --> 00:42:14,827
Feels good.
Yeah.

745
00:42:17,667 --> 00:42:18,656
Hello?

746
00:42:19,035 --> 00:42:20,024
Hello?

747
00:42:20,437 --> 00:42:21,426
Mom?

748
00:42:21,571 --> 00:42:23,038
No.
Are you there?

749
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,805
Okay.
Mom?

750
00:42:24,874 --> 00:42:26,535
What, honey?
Mom?

751
00:42:26,910 --> 00:42:28,138
Are you okay?

752
00:42:28,211 --> 00:42:31,874
What, honey?
No, yeah. I'm fine.

753
00:42:31,948 --> 00:42:33,882
No, wait. Mom,
what's that sound?

754
00:42:33,950 --> 00:42:36,111
Well, Cooper's in heat.
Good night.

755
00:42:36,186 --> 00:42:38,017
Cooper's a boy. Mom?

756
00:42:41,391 --> 00:42:44,792
He wants potato pancakes
in the shape of footballs

757
00:42:44,861 --> 00:42:48,092
with Gandalf's face
on them in sour cream.

758
00:42:48,164 --> 00:42:50,632
We can do that.
You start, though.

759
00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:51,723
Hello.

760
00:42:53,103 --> 00:42:55,537
Hi. Wow.

761
00:42:55,605 --> 00:42:58,335
Lionel helped picked these.
He wanted you to know.

762
00:42:58,408 --> 00:43:03,175
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so
much. Lionel, they're beautiful.

763
00:43:04,047 --> 00:43:07,278
And you know what? You can
actually eat these flowers.

764
00:43:07,350 --> 00:43:08,817
They're really good in salads.

765
00:43:08,885 --> 00:43:11,046
Although, when I was your age,
I didn't like anything green.

766
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:12,179
And now I've learned to love

767
00:43:12,255 --> 00:43:13,483
spinach... Now if she could just stop talking

768
00:43:13,556 --> 00:43:14,682
for five seconds.
... Brussels sprouts, broccoli.

769
00:43:15,859 --> 00:43:17,417
Oh, I got it,
I got it, I got it.

770
00:43:17,494 --> 00:43:19,121
No, we'll get it.
I got it.

771
00:43:20,063 --> 00:43:22,588
Hey, Lionel, come on, you wanna
help us eat the centerpiece?

772
00:43:22,666 --> 00:43:23,963
Can I, Dad?

773
00:43:24,034 --> 00:43:26,093
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. Go crazy.

774
00:43:26,169 --> 00:43:27,193
Bye.

775
00:43:28,004 --> 00:43:29,835
If you don't, I will.

776
00:43:34,844 --> 00:43:36,436
There was a lot going on
the other night.

777
00:43:36,513 --> 00:43:40,916
And I didn't get to tell you about
Lionel's unique rhythm and I'm sorry...

778
00:43:40,984 --> 00:43:44,420
Oh, gosh, no, it's fine. I
actually feel a kinship with him.

779
00:43:44,487 --> 00:43:48,446
You know he can't stop running
around and I can't stop talking.

780
00:43:48,758 --> 00:43:51,591
I kind of think you're gonna
have your hands full.

781
00:43:52,862 --> 00:43:54,489
They said it couldn't be done,
but I did it.

782
00:43:54,564 --> 00:43:55,826
How was your date with the...

783
00:43:55,899 --> 00:43:57,628
Oh, my gosh, Mom...

784
00:43:58,034 --> 00:44:03,028
Mom, this is Johnny. Johnny,
this is my mom, Daphne.

785
00:44:04,908 --> 00:44:07,433
Hi. Oh.

786
00:44:10,246 --> 00:44:11,270
Oh!

787
00:44:11,348 --> 00:44:13,612
Lionel. Johnny's son.

788
00:44:14,017 --> 00:44:15,416
John, is it?

789
00:44:16,686 --> 00:44:18,347
Lionel. Come on, buddy.

790
00:44:18,421 --> 00:44:19,410
Uh-huh.

791
00:44:21,925 --> 00:44:23,449
Lionel, come on here now.

792
00:44:23,526 --> 00:44:25,517
- Pardon me.
- Johnny. That's Johnny.

793
00:44:25,595 --> 00:44:27,529
Lionel, that's so cute.

794
00:44:28,698 --> 00:44:30,996
Oh, my gosh. Oh, Mom.

795
00:44:35,505 --> 00:44:37,996
The delivery man's here.
Is this menorah-esque?

796
00:44:38,074 --> 00:44:39,234
Mom, I don't even know
if this is good.

797
00:44:39,309 --> 00:44:41,368
Find something Hobbit-like. I
don't have anything Hobbit-like.

798
00:44:41,444 --> 00:44:42,672
We should try
and make this work, though.

799
00:44:42,746 --> 00:44:44,145
They're never gonna never know
it's from Gelson's.

800
00:44:44,214 --> 00:44:47,047
Oh, wait, wait.
I used this for Jason's party.

801
00:44:47,117 --> 00:44:49,176
Jason has such
nice eyes. Okay.

802
00:44:49,519 --> 00:44:50,577
Thank you.

803
00:44:51,354 --> 00:44:53,083
Happy Bar Mitzvah,
Josh Greenberg.

804
00:44:53,156 --> 00:44:54,748
How do you know Jason has
such nice eyes?

805
00:44:54,824 --> 00:44:58,590
Does he? Oh, that's so sweet. He
seems like a very special person.

806
00:44:58,661 --> 00:45:01,892
What if we try that new vase
on the coffee table?

807
00:45:02,565 --> 00:45:06,296
He is nice. But actually, they both
are. Oh, I'm sure they both are.

808
00:45:06,369 --> 00:45:08,269
But in terms of who you
wanna get serious with,

809
00:45:08,338 --> 00:45:11,171
that Johnny, at least from what I can
see, can't even get his life together.

810
00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:15,075
But I'm gonna stop, all right?
You know what's wrong?

811
00:45:15,145 --> 00:45:17,113
The couch is
in the wrong place. Look.

812
00:45:17,180 --> 00:45:18,943
I got an idea.
Okay.

813
00:45:19,015 --> 00:45:21,347
So we'll move the couch. Which
way? Let's move it this way.

814
00:45:21,418 --> 00:45:22,510
Here we go.

815
00:45:40,370 --> 00:45:43,339
That's so good. Okay, there
we go. I think it's good.

816
00:45:43,406 --> 00:45:45,931
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God, look at that.

817
00:45:46,009 --> 00:45:48,978
It's so great. It, like,
completely opens the room up.

818
00:45:49,045 --> 00:45:50,273
So very, very, very good.
I love it.

819
00:45:50,346 --> 00:45:52,576
The only thing is... Can
I just say this? What?

820
00:45:52,649 --> 00:45:55,209
We haven't tried the couch by
the window. I think we should.

821
00:45:56,886 --> 00:45:59,582
All right. I don't even know if
I see it here. Okay. Oh, gosh.

822
00:45:59,823 --> 00:46:01,347
Just a second. Hello?

823
00:46:02,625 --> 00:46:06,026
You have the wrong number.
Yeah. There is no J. Bond here.

824
00:46:06,496 --> 00:46:10,432
FYI, the Eagle has landed.

825
00:46:10,500 --> 00:46:14,903
Yeah, the hen is in the house. Repeat,
the hen is in the house. Right now.

826
00:46:16,139 --> 00:46:17,936
All right, honey?

827
00:46:18,007 --> 00:46:20,032
Mil, if we push this
five inches to the left,

828
00:46:20,109 --> 00:46:22,134
I swear it's gonna
transform your life.

829
00:46:22,212 --> 00:46:24,680
You really think so?
I wouldn't lie to you.

830
00:46:24,747 --> 00:46:26,214
All right.
Come on, let's go.

831
00:46:26,282 --> 00:46:27,340
Okay, on three.
Yeah.

832
00:46:28,518 --> 00:46:30,281
One, two, three.

833
00:46:30,820 --> 00:46:33,653
Hey, it's Milly, leave me
a message. This way. Mom?

834
00:46:33,790 --> 00:46:36,224
Hey, Milly. It's Jason.
I was thinking about you

835
00:46:36,292 --> 00:46:37,987
and I wanted to say what...
Pick it up. Answer it.

836
00:46:38,061 --> 00:46:40,427
Does he sound wonderful or what?
Why don't you wanna talk to him?

837
00:46:40,497 --> 00:46:43,796
I do wanna talk to him. I just don't
wanna do it in front of you, all right?

838
00:46:43,867 --> 00:46:44,891
Come on, Milly,
I mean I don't...

839
00:46:44,968 --> 00:46:47,334
I got us tickets to the Music
Center Friday night for La Bohème.

840
00:46:47,403 --> 00:46:51,066
La Bohème. Oh, come on,
sweetie, I love La Bohème.

841
00:46:51,140 --> 00:46:53,370
Just pick up the phone. Mom,
I don't want to talk to him.

842
00:46:53,443 --> 00:46:56,503
It's a really interesting production...
Mil, Mil, pick up the phone.

843
00:46:56,579 --> 00:46:58,945
Mom, stop. No, no, no,
don't pick up the phone.

844
00:46:59,015 --> 00:47:01,677
Here, take it. Say yes.
Stop, stop.

845
00:47:03,653 --> 00:47:04,847
Hi.

846
00:47:05,922 --> 00:47:07,549
Yeah, I'm great.

847
00:47:08,791 --> 00:47:10,782
Oh, great. Yeah, okay.

848
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:11,949
Mmm-hmm.

849
00:47:12,195 --> 00:47:14,686
That sounds really great.
Great.

850
00:47:14,764 --> 00:47:16,425
Yeah, great. Okay.

851
00:47:16,499 --> 00:47:19,332
All right.
Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

852
00:47:19,402 --> 00:47:21,666
Okay, great. Bye.

853
00:47:24,374 --> 00:47:26,137
He obviously adores you.

854
00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:29,510
You think so?
Oh, God, and who wouldn't?

855
00:47:29,579 --> 00:47:33,743
But, hon, are you aware of how many
times you used the word "great"?

856
00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:36,275
These candlesticks gotta go.

857
00:47:36,352 --> 00:47:39,583
No, no, no. I like them.
They're staying. They're great.

858
00:47:39,889 --> 00:47:42,983
Milly, you know how much I hate to
meddle, but I once had the choice

859
00:47:43,059 --> 00:47:46,654
between a mature, responsible
young man like Jason,

860
00:47:46,729 --> 00:47:49,755
and your father, who, of
course, I was infatuated with.

861
00:47:49,832 --> 00:47:51,766
And to this day...
Okay, okay.

862
00:47:51,834 --> 00:47:52,926
You know what?

863
00:47:53,002 --> 00:47:55,835
To be fair, you're reading a lot into
a guy that you've met for ten minutes.

864
00:47:55,905 --> 00:48:00,137
Truth be told, that Johnny has
heartbreak written all over his face.

865
00:48:00,209 --> 00:48:03,667
No, no, no. Truth be told, you
know absolutely nothing about him.

866
00:48:03,746 --> 00:48:05,907
And know what, Mom? I gotta go
'cause I'm getting my bangs cut.

867
00:48:05,982 --> 00:48:07,609
What?
No, no, you go ahead.

868
00:48:07,684 --> 00:48:08,810
No, that's okay, you go ahead.

869
00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:09,874
Yes.
Fine.

870
00:48:09,953 --> 00:48:11,818
Cut your bangs and quit
hiding your incredible eyes.

871
00:48:11,888 --> 00:48:14,686
To be truthful, you know nothing
about him. He's actually a good parent.

872
00:48:14,757 --> 00:48:16,782
Hiding your incredible eyes.
I can't do this.

873
00:48:16,859 --> 00:48:20,727
Milly, I love you and you may be
brilliant, but you're not smart.

874
00:48:20,797 --> 00:48:23,095
I just want you to
have a full, beautiful life.

875
00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:25,794
Do I not have a life, Mom?
Because I thought I had a life.

876
00:48:25,868 --> 00:48:27,961
No. No, you have a career,
you have a car

877
00:48:28,037 --> 00:48:30,369
and you have a loft
you pay way too much rent for.

878
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:31,464
That's not a life.

879
00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:35,739
Milly, I'm your mother. I love
you enough to tell you the truth.

880
00:48:35,812 --> 00:48:38,610
Your version of the truth, Mom. No. No.

881
00:48:38,681 --> 00:48:42,208
The truth is, happiness
is a series of choices.

882
00:48:42,285 --> 00:48:44,048
It's not something
that just sort of happens.

883
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:47,214
One wrong decision
can change your whole life.

884
00:48:49,359 --> 00:48:51,190
There's still time, Mom.

885
00:48:51,260 --> 00:48:53,285
Not if you waste
another minute of it.

886
00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:55,661
I mean for you.

887
00:48:59,702 --> 00:49:02,694
And I don't say
"great" too much.

888
00:49:06,309 --> 00:49:08,470
This is great.
This is great.

889
00:49:08,878 --> 00:49:12,041
The view is great.
The night is just so great.

890
00:49:12,115 --> 00:49:13,810
You warm enough?
You wanna go inside?

891
00:49:13,883 --> 00:49:16,215
No, no, no, I'm fine.
I'm nice and toasty.

892
00:49:16,285 --> 00:49:17,309
Okay, all right.

893
00:49:17,387 --> 00:49:22,324
And don't you just love my mom's
orange blossom cheesecake? So good.

894
00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:24,257
Get a big bite.
Wow.

895
00:49:25,795 --> 00:49:27,786
It's great, right?

896
00:49:28,297 --> 00:49:32,893
It's superb, which is a synonym for
great, if you're ever looking for one.

897
00:49:34,804 --> 00:49:38,205
You know, you're cold.
Let's go inside.

898
00:49:38,274 --> 00:49:39,639
You get the candle,
I'll get the rest.

899
00:49:39,709 --> 00:49:41,074
Let me grab that.

900
00:49:41,544 --> 00:49:43,637
Be careful with that. I'm
sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

901
00:49:43,713 --> 00:49:44,771
I'm so sorry.

902
00:49:44,847 --> 00:49:47,111
Oh, my gosh, please tell me
where I can get you another one...

903
00:49:47,183 --> 00:49:49,947
You can't.
It's my great-grandmother's.

904
00:49:50,219 --> 00:49:52,244
Oh, my God. Jason.

905
00:49:52,889 --> 00:49:55,255
I don't know
what to say. I'm sorry.

906
00:49:55,324 --> 00:49:56,916
Please, I'm just,
I've been so out of it lately.

907
00:49:56,993 --> 00:49:59,962
My alarm clock didn't go off
today and that's why I was late

908
00:50:00,029 --> 00:50:02,293
and I've just been so stressed
with the Greenberg Bar Mitzvah,

909
00:50:02,365 --> 00:50:03,889
but that's a whole...

910
00:50:05,268 --> 00:50:08,465
You just seem really angry.

911
00:50:09,539 --> 00:50:10,801
Nope.

912
00:50:11,708 --> 00:50:13,039
I'm great.

913
00:50:19,382 --> 00:50:20,508
Okay.

914
00:50:23,586 --> 00:50:26,146
I promise you they're the
best chocolate soufflés ever.

915
00:50:26,222 --> 00:50:27,849
Well, they better be.
They're worth it.

916
00:50:27,924 --> 00:50:29,357
Touchdown.

917
00:50:30,326 --> 00:50:32,658
Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

918
00:50:32,729 --> 00:50:35,027
Hey, it's all right.
That's all right.

919
00:50:35,832 --> 00:50:38,392
I'm sorry. I bumped into,
like, a parking meter yesterday

920
00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:40,163
and I'm always breaking stuff.

921
00:50:40,236 --> 00:50:43,103
Why are you apologizing?
It isn't even your fault.

922
00:50:43,172 --> 00:50:46,869
Lionel, put some shoes on before
you come back in here, all right?

923
00:50:47,310 --> 00:50:51,337
Look, I know he can be a lot and it gets
a little crazy around here sometimes.

924
00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:54,747
But here you are making us chocolate
soufflés and you're apologizing.

925
00:50:54,817 --> 00:50:58,446
Sometimes, I think you let people
make you feel bad about yourself.

926
00:50:58,521 --> 00:51:00,853
Yeah, like you are right now?

927
00:51:03,726 --> 00:51:05,887
What is going on
with us today?

928
00:51:05,962 --> 00:51:07,987
We're having an off day,
that's all.

929
00:51:12,135 --> 00:51:13,727
What are you doing?
I'm leaving.

930
00:51:13,803 --> 00:51:15,498
I'm leaving because
you're miserable

931
00:51:15,571 --> 00:51:17,562
and we're having a bad day.
You just admitted it.

932
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,005
No, I said "off day. "

933
00:51:19,075 --> 00:51:20,667
And, yes,
we've had better days,

934
00:51:20,743 --> 00:51:22,768
and I'm sure we'll have
a few hundred more weird ones

935
00:51:22,845 --> 00:51:24,745
if we stay together. So what?

936
00:51:27,250 --> 00:51:28,410
Johnny.
Give me your hand.

937
00:51:28,484 --> 00:51:30,850
What? I'm going to try something here.

938
00:51:31,554 --> 00:51:34,648
What are you doing?
Just a little something.

939
00:51:42,331 --> 00:51:43,355
Oh.

940
00:51:43,432 --> 00:51:45,559
The soufflés are done.
No, the timer didn't go off.

941
00:51:45,635 --> 00:51:48,798
No, no. I feel it.
I feel it. Watch.

942
00:51:58,681 --> 00:52:00,808
Those look beautiful.
Thank you.

943
00:52:00,883 --> 00:52:03,613
The one thing I can
actually do right.

944
00:52:05,555 --> 00:52:08,388
You have perfect timing.
Thank you.

945
00:52:09,225 --> 00:52:10,556
Come here.

946
00:52:14,163 --> 00:52:15,824
Don't apologize.

947
00:52:18,401 --> 00:52:20,699
He has this way
of calming me down.

948
00:52:20,770 --> 00:52:23,136
A huge plus.
Yeah.

949
00:52:24,273 --> 00:52:25,467
But then the whole
Lionel thing.

950
00:52:25,541 --> 00:52:29,739
I just worry and wonder, would
I be a good mother to him?

951
00:52:29,812 --> 00:52:31,803
Don't worry.
It's not genetic.

952
00:52:34,417 --> 00:52:36,977
They've been through
so much, though,

953
00:52:37,053 --> 00:52:41,547
with Lionel's mom, like, freaking out
and splitting when he was so young.

954
00:52:42,658 --> 00:52:45,491
I don't know, not that we're anywhere
near talking about any of this yet.

955
00:52:45,561 --> 00:52:48,928
Just the fact that you're
wondering, though. God.

956
00:52:49,332 --> 00:52:53,359
I mean the fact is you don't know
either of these guys that well.

957
00:52:54,136 --> 00:52:56,127
Who knows if Jason
even wants to have kids?

958
00:52:56,205 --> 00:52:57,536
Absolutely.

959
00:52:58,274 --> 00:52:59,673
Four kids.

960
00:52:59,742 --> 00:53:01,676
And I wanna name the first
one Charlie after my father

961
00:53:01,744 --> 00:53:03,405
and that works
if it's a boy or a girl.

962
00:53:03,479 --> 00:53:07,313
Then I want to design a huge
Craftsman house for the whole brood.

963
00:53:07,383 --> 00:53:08,441
The exhibit's in here.

964
00:53:08,517 --> 00:53:11,782
Oh, no, no, no. Don't let me in
the museum. Too many breakables.

965
00:53:11,854 --> 00:53:14,118
Don't worry. They're insured.

966
00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:16,724
Hey, listen.

967
00:53:17,660 --> 00:53:20,754
I'm sorry I lost my temper
with you the other day.

968
00:53:20,830 --> 00:53:22,923
You felt bad enough already.

969
00:53:23,799 --> 00:53:26,632
I can be a real ass
and I hate that about myself.

970
00:53:31,908 --> 00:53:33,876
Another family heirloom.

971
00:53:44,820 --> 00:53:47,345
He buys jewelry. Well, it's
a no-brainer. He's the one.

972
00:53:47,423 --> 00:53:50,085
- He felt remorse, Mae.
- Well, that's a lovely quality.

973
00:53:50,159 --> 00:53:52,719
No, he knew he should feel
remorse. Oh, my God, Milly.

974
00:53:52,795 --> 00:53:53,853
Those empanadas are amazing.

975
00:53:53,930 --> 00:53:56,660
They're gonna be perfect for
Mom's party. Oh, my party.

976
00:53:56,732 --> 00:53:59,963
Mom, what about these for
your party? Oh, shoes, please.

977
00:54:00,036 --> 00:54:02,834
Why are you making such a big
deal over this dreaded event?

978
00:54:02,905 --> 00:54:04,839
Why are we celebrating
my descent into oblivion?

979
00:54:04,907 --> 00:54:07,375
Come on, Mom. It's not
that bad. Snap out of it.

980
00:54:07,443 --> 00:54:11,709
Well, I mean, it is a milestone, and
actually, I am taking stock of my life

981
00:54:11,781 --> 00:54:14,443
and trying to find some
peace and quiet in my old age,

982
00:54:14,517 --> 00:54:17,850
so, Milly, will you please
bring Jason to the party?

983
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:21,487
I would just love to meet him.
That's all I'm asking.

984
00:54:21,557 --> 00:54:23,889
I understand, but isn't
it my choice who I bring?

985
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:25,757
I think it is.
Thank you.

986
00:54:25,928 --> 00:54:27,589
All right.

987
00:54:27,964 --> 00:54:29,124
Okay.

988
00:54:32,134 --> 00:54:33,192
Oh.

989
00:54:38,207 --> 00:54:40,038
Oh, my God.

990
00:54:40,109 --> 00:54:43,738
Mom, Eli says that's what
I say right before I...

991
00:54:43,813 --> 00:54:45,440
No kidding? Me, too.

992
00:54:45,514 --> 00:54:46,811
And, you know, it was funny,

993
00:54:46,882 --> 00:54:49,180
the other night, we hadn't had
sex in so long, by the third one,

994
00:54:49,251 --> 00:54:51,515
I was setting off the car
alarms in the neighborhood,

995
00:54:51,587 --> 00:54:52,815
and dogs were barking...

996
00:54:52,888 --> 00:54:55,118
Three? Is that normal?

997
00:54:55,191 --> 00:54:57,659
Please. Everyone knows I hold
the record in this family.

998
00:55:02,865 --> 00:55:04,662
Why are you so quiet?

999
00:55:06,168 --> 00:55:08,363
'Cause she's doing the
Oompa-Loompa with two guys, Mom.

1000
00:55:08,437 --> 00:55:10,428
Stop it.
What?

1001
00:55:10,639 --> 00:55:11,970
Wait a minute.

1002
00:55:12,074 --> 00:55:14,838
At this point, are you doing
it with both of them at once?

1003
00:55:14,910 --> 00:55:17,242
No. I'm not. Absolutely not.

1004
00:55:27,056 --> 00:55:30,719
Honey, I've been thinking
about your situation with Jason.

1005
00:55:31,193 --> 00:55:34,526
Mom, I didn't ask for this.
It happened to me.

1006
00:55:41,070 --> 00:55:43,061
So move on.

1007
00:55:54,817 --> 00:55:56,341
No. It happened to you.

1008
00:55:56,419 --> 00:56:00,480
Things have gotten so out of
hand I broke my first bundt cake.

1009
00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:13,766
Has anybody seen my G.I. Joe?

1010
00:56:13,836 --> 00:56:15,497
Believe me, it's not in here.

1011
00:56:15,938 --> 00:56:17,405
I left it on the bed.

1012
00:56:17,473 --> 00:56:18,838
...that it happened to you.

1013
00:56:18,908 --> 00:56:21,775
You're making me hate you and I
don't ever want to see your face...

1014
00:56:24,547 --> 00:56:25,980
With that Johnny...

1015
00:56:28,084 --> 00:56:30,143
Happy birthday, Mom.

1016
00:56:30,219 --> 00:56:31,243
Happy birthday, Mom.
Happy birthday.

1017
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,584
Your favorite butterscotch cake. We made it.

1018
00:56:33,656 --> 00:56:35,920
- Well, some of us made it.
- We helped, okay?

1019
00:56:36,325 --> 00:56:37,883
It's really yummy. I tried some. All right.

1020
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:39,894
Make a wish, make a wish.
Make a wish, Mom.

1021
00:56:39,962 --> 00:56:41,953
Come on, make a wish, make a
wish. Make a wish, make a wish.

1022
00:56:57,713 --> 00:56:59,772
Happy birthday.
We love you, Mom.

1023
00:56:59,849 --> 00:57:02,283
I'd like to propose a toast.

1024
00:57:02,351 --> 00:57:05,286
To the incredibly unique
Daphne Wilder,

1025
00:57:05,354 --> 00:57:10,656
the fearless leader of the Wilder
women, who I hope to someday call family.

1026
00:57:11,327 --> 00:57:13,022
You've created
a wonderful family,

1027
00:57:13,095 --> 00:57:15,563
and I hope when my folks
stop through town,

1028
00:57:15,631 --> 00:57:18,395
that Milly'll charm them
as much as she's charmed me.

1029
00:57:19,502 --> 00:57:20,799
Cheers.

1030
00:57:20,870 --> 00:57:22,633
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1031
00:57:22,705 --> 00:57:24,400
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1032
00:57:24,473 --> 00:57:26,202
Thank you so much.

1033
00:57:26,275 --> 00:57:28,072
Thank you, thank you.

1034
00:57:28,144 --> 00:57:31,409
What was that exactly? Did
you know he was gonna do that?

1035
00:57:32,815 --> 00:57:35,409
Did he just propose? Because
I think he just proposed.

1036
00:57:35,484 --> 00:57:37,748
I think he did.
The question is, to who?

1037
00:57:37,820 --> 00:57:40,414
Maggie, stop being a killjoy. All
right, girls, what do you think?

1038
00:57:40,489 --> 00:57:42,389
He seems well-read.
He's tall.

1039
00:57:42,458 --> 00:57:44,722
Okay, you guys don't like him at
all. Don't listen to your sisters.

1040
00:57:44,793 --> 00:57:46,954
For God's sake, sweetie,
do not listen to them.

1041
00:57:47,029 --> 00:57:48,053
Here's what I'm thinking.

1042
00:57:48,130 --> 00:57:50,325
I'm thinking his parents
are from Connecticut.

1043
00:57:50,399 --> 00:57:51,696
They're a little conservative,

1044
00:57:51,767 --> 00:57:54,065
so maybe you should
just wear your pleated skirt.

1045
00:57:54,136 --> 00:57:56,570
Just this once, honey?
Stop.

1046
00:57:56,639 --> 00:57:59,073
It's just a gesture, just
make them more comfortable.

1047
00:57:59,141 --> 00:58:02,577
I understand it's a gesture but,
Mom, this is moving very quickly.

1048
00:58:02,645 --> 00:58:05,671
He just said all of this.
It's... Milly, don't fight it.

1049
00:58:05,748 --> 00:58:06,908
This is the way
it's supposed to be.

1050
00:58:06,982 --> 00:58:08,677
You're just not used
to feeling pursued and adored.

1051
00:58:09,118 --> 00:58:11,018
I hate pleated skirts.

1052
00:58:11,487 --> 00:58:14,251
Isn't this about the time
we were going to sing?

1053
00:58:14,323 --> 00:58:16,587
That's a great idea. Come on, Mils. Yes, yes.

1054
00:58:18,761 --> 00:58:20,922
Well, I met him on a Sunday

1055
00:58:20,996 --> 00:58:22,293
My voice.

1056
00:58:27,803 --> 00:58:31,295
And I missed him on Monday

1057
00:58:35,477 --> 00:58:37,342
Not bad. What do you
got going, Mom?

1058
00:58:37,413 --> 00:58:40,712
And I dated him Wednesday

1059
00:58:46,555 --> 00:58:48,182
I said bye-bye, baby

1060
00:58:48,257 --> 00:58:49,724
Nice.
Yes.

1061
00:59:01,337 --> 00:59:03,771
Milly? Will you take
the soprano?

1062
00:59:06,775 --> 00:59:08,606
You know, that's it.
That's it.

1063
00:59:08,677 --> 00:59:10,838
No, no. You're so
out of control.

1064
00:59:10,913 --> 00:59:12,005
What'd I do this time?

1065
00:59:12,081 --> 00:59:13,981
You're forcing me. Jason's
here. You're making me...

1066
00:59:14,049 --> 00:59:16,540
So, Jason, can I get you
another one of these?

1067
00:59:16,619 --> 00:59:17,608
Will I need one?

1068
00:59:17,686 --> 00:59:19,551
Oh, yeah.
They're just getting started.

1069
00:59:19,622 --> 00:59:21,055
Who wants lavender ice cream?

1070
00:59:21,123 --> 00:59:22,488
No, no, no.
No, no, no.

1071
00:59:22,558 --> 00:59:25,288
You're not gonna go. You're
out of control. Milly's right.

1072
00:59:25,361 --> 00:59:27,761
I don't know how she can take it.
I can't. I can't take it anymore.

1073
00:59:27,830 --> 00:59:32,824
Well, excuse me for just one moment
here. I thought that this was my birthday.

1074
00:59:32,901 --> 00:59:35,529
My very big, special birthday.

1075
00:59:35,604 --> 00:59:37,231
Yes, Mom. It's your big,
special birthday.

1076
00:59:37,306 --> 00:59:38,330
That's how you should remember

1077
00:59:38,407 --> 00:59:39,567
you're too old...
Old?

1078
00:59:39,642 --> 00:59:42,509
Not too old, but too old
to be doing this to Milly.

1079
00:59:42,578 --> 00:59:44,478
You're pushing her like you
pushed her into Girl Scouts.

1080
00:59:44,546 --> 00:59:46,275
Thank you very much.
I'm not ten years old anymore.

1081
00:59:46,348 --> 00:59:47,406
You have to stop.
Yeah.

1082
00:59:47,483 --> 00:59:48,677
You have to change
at some point.

1083
00:59:48,751 --> 00:59:53,381
Fine. But I just want you girls to
understand something about motherhood, okay?

1084
00:59:53,455 --> 00:59:54,615
Mom.

1085
00:59:54,690 --> 00:59:55,748
- Okay?
- Yeah, okay.

1086
00:59:55,824 --> 00:59:58,554
I mean, it is the most
impossible love.

1087
00:59:58,627 --> 01:00:02,119
You tell me when it ends.
You tell me when it stops.

1088
01:00:02,197 --> 01:00:07,464
All I know is, it's absolutely fine for
me to teach you how to walk and talk,

1089
01:00:07,536 --> 01:00:11,700
and then you grow up and you head off
in the wrong direction toward a cliff.

1090
01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:14,675
And I'm supposed to just
stand there and wave and go,

1091
01:00:14,743 --> 01:00:19,237
"Well, kids, good luck. It's Mom.
I'm here. " Well, I can't do that.

1092
01:00:20,015 --> 01:00:22,279
What am I supposed to do, huh?

1093
01:00:22,351 --> 01:00:27,448
Am I supposed to just put my feet up
at the end of the day and say to myself,

1094
01:00:27,523 --> 01:00:33,393
"Well, you know, they're on their
own and she says she's fine. "

1095
01:00:33,462 --> 01:00:34,554
Well, you won't be.

1096
01:00:34,630 --> 01:00:36,291
Just stop it. God damn it.

1097
01:00:36,365 --> 01:00:38,595
You are making me crazy
and you're never gonna change

1098
01:00:38,667 --> 01:00:40,225
'cause you don't even know
when you're doing it.

1099
01:00:40,302 --> 01:00:42,930
Oh, well, I am gonna stop
as in right now.

1100
01:00:43,005 --> 01:00:48,033
So, let me tell you, I am washing
my hands of your emotional problems.

1101
01:00:48,110 --> 01:00:52,877
I'm just a visitor with a
limited day pass from here on in.

1102
01:00:52,948 --> 01:00:55,508
Oh, my God, I can't even talk.

1103
01:00:55,584 --> 01:00:56,573
Mom.

1104
01:00:59,922 --> 01:01:00,911
Oh, my...
Great.

1105
01:01:00,989 --> 01:01:04,254
She loses her voice and we are
three days from Hungarian flu.

1106
01:01:04,326 --> 01:01:06,294
You guys, the last time
I had her at my house,

1107
01:01:06,362 --> 01:01:08,660
Derek and I were in therapy for
two months. I can't do it with this.

1108
01:01:08,731 --> 01:01:11,256
No, no, no. I know it's my turn
technically, but you cannot...

1109
01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:13,267
We can't be in the same room
together right now.

1110
01:01:13,335 --> 01:01:15,132
Rock, Paper, Scissor.

1111
01:01:15,604 --> 01:01:17,868
Rock, Paper...
Fine, fine, fine.

1112
01:01:18,107 --> 01:01:19,574
Hi. Oh, Ma, I'll take that.

1113
01:01:19,641 --> 01:01:22,132
We know you're about to get sick,
so we're gonna Rock, Paper, Scissors

1114
01:01:22,211 --> 01:01:23,576
to see whose house
you're gonna stay at.

1115
01:01:23,645 --> 01:01:25,909
'Cause you know what, Mom?
We all want you to stay.

1116
01:01:25,981 --> 01:01:27,278
We're fighting for you.

1117
01:01:27,349 --> 01:01:29,874
Let's declare, guys. Please?
Okay.

1118
01:01:36,792 --> 01:01:39,784
Oh, you win, Mils.
That's great.

1119
01:01:41,597 --> 01:01:43,326
Have fun, you guys.

1120
01:01:44,633 --> 01:01:45,463
What for?

1121
01:01:45,534 --> 01:01:49,197
'Cause I'm here with you.
Women prefer him, as a rule.

1122
01:01:50,005 --> 01:01:51,802
Shall we take a walk?

1123
01:01:52,608 --> 01:01:53,939
Yes, let's.

1124
01:01:54,243 --> 01:01:55,335
What?

1125
01:01:55,477 --> 01:01:56,569
Where is he now?

1126
01:01:56,645 --> 01:01:59,808
"You don't need to
take care of me. "

1127
01:02:00,282 --> 01:02:04,082
"Go out and have fun
with Jason. "

1128
01:02:05,087 --> 01:02:07,282
No. No. Why?

1129
01:02:08,991 --> 01:02:11,789
"Because I said so. "

1130
01:02:12,628 --> 01:02:14,789
No. I'm not leaving.

1131
01:02:14,863 --> 01:02:18,321
They say dogs feel disoriented
when they get debarked.

1132
01:02:20,936 --> 01:02:22,301
You're nice, too.

1133
01:02:22,838 --> 01:02:23,827
No.

1134
01:02:25,474 --> 01:02:27,101
Yes.
No, please.

1135
01:02:30,979 --> 01:02:34,437
"Now there was a man
who knew how to be a man. "

1136
01:02:34,516 --> 01:02:35,505
Mmm-hmm.

1137
01:02:36,652 --> 01:02:39,621
"There's turkey meatloaf
in the fridge. "

1138
01:02:40,923 --> 01:02:43,483
"What's an orgasm feel like?"

1139
01:03:03,111 --> 01:03:04,373
Amazing?

1140
01:03:05,013 --> 01:03:07,481
I don't know. Amazing, and...

1141
01:03:07,549 --> 01:03:08,777
Like...

1142
01:03:10,652 --> 01:03:13,485
Like being
totally out of control.

1143
01:03:14,256 --> 01:03:15,655
Just like...

1144
01:03:19,428 --> 01:03:21,396
"No, I wouldn't like that. "

1145
01:03:21,463 --> 01:03:24,921
Yes, you would. Oh, Mom, no, no,
no. It's not like being drunk.

1146
01:03:25,267 --> 01:03:28,600
It's just satisfying and...

1147
01:03:30,706 --> 01:03:32,264
Like you're out of your body,

1148
01:03:32,341 --> 01:03:35,868
but you're in your body,
and your toes curl under...

1149
01:03:35,944 --> 01:03:39,436
That doesn't sound delicious, I know,
but, God, it's so delicious, Mom.

1150
01:03:39,515 --> 01:03:42,245
And you can laugh or cry,
but like a good cry.

1151
01:03:42,317 --> 01:03:44,877
I mean, I've cried before.
It's just like...

1152
01:03:51,260 --> 01:03:52,921
You know, just...

1153
01:03:53,862 --> 01:03:56,353
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I just said that to you.

1154
01:03:56,431 --> 01:03:59,992
I'm not explaining it right.
I'm not explaining it right.

1155
01:04:02,571 --> 01:04:05,039
Didn't you ever
have one with Dad?

1156
01:04:08,510 --> 01:04:12,776
"He said he didn't have all
day and he worked nights. "

1157
01:04:21,423 --> 01:04:22,754
Oh, Mom.

1158
01:05:14,943 --> 01:05:16,934
"Don't tell your sisters
I asked. "

1159
01:05:59,087 --> 01:06:00,281
Hello?

1160
01:06:00,889 --> 01:06:02,857
No, I'm sorry. She can't
come to the phone right now.

1161
01:06:02,924 --> 01:06:04,755
Can I take a message?

1162
01:06:06,995 --> 01:06:09,589
You're calling about
the personal ad?

1163
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:15,192
Are you sure that you have
the right number?

1164
01:06:15,270 --> 01:06:17,500
Yeah, Daphne Wilder.

1165
01:06:18,607 --> 01:06:20,905
Okay. Bye-bye.

1166
01:06:23,612 --> 01:06:26,342
Just a little belated birthday gift.

1167
01:06:27,249 --> 01:06:28,238
You like it?

1168
01:06:28,316 --> 01:06:31,843
See, it brought me luck, so I
thought maybe it would bring you luck.

1169
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:33,911
Oh, do you like it, Mom?

1170
01:06:34,756 --> 01:06:37,247
Mom? I know.

1171
01:06:39,161 --> 01:06:42,096
I know all about
your little ad.

1172
01:06:42,164 --> 01:06:43,995
And I think it's so great.

1173
01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:46,899
It's so bold
and so brave of you

1174
01:06:46,968 --> 01:06:49,436
and finally it shows me that you
heard us at your birthday party.

1175
01:06:49,504 --> 01:06:51,131
You're trying to live
your own life.

1176
01:06:51,206 --> 01:06:52,696
And I want you to know, Mom,

1177
01:06:52,774 --> 01:06:56,540
you don't have to go through the personals
to find love, 'cause that can be so...

1178
01:06:56,611 --> 01:06:58,044
Terrifying.

1179
01:07:01,216 --> 01:07:05,414
Jason's uncle is coming into
town next week with his parents

1180
01:07:05,487 --> 01:07:07,182
and he's dying
to meet you, Mom.

1181
01:07:07,255 --> 01:07:09,519
Jason says he's, like, the most
amazing guy in the entire world

1182
01:07:09,591 --> 01:07:11,422
and I haven't even
really told him about the...

1183
01:07:11,493 --> 01:07:13,893
All right, all right, fine.
Fine.

1184
01:07:16,598 --> 01:07:18,589
Why didn't you marry?

1185
01:07:18,667 --> 01:07:21,534
I didn't know what the war
was like then.

1186
01:07:22,270 --> 01:07:24,261
If I had it to do over again,
I'd marry him.

1187
01:07:26,675 --> 01:07:29,007
When I joined up,
I remember...

1188
01:07:35,684 --> 01:07:36,776
Hello.

1189
01:07:36,852 --> 01:07:39,013
Is this Milly Wilder's home?

1190
01:07:40,288 --> 01:07:43,121
I'm Joe Dresden,
I'm Johnny's father.

1191
01:07:44,159 --> 01:07:45,956
Are you Milly's mom?

1192
01:07:50,766 --> 01:07:53,326
This is Lionel,
this is Johnny's boy.

1193
01:07:55,270 --> 01:07:56,259
"Daphne. "

1194
01:07:57,439 --> 01:07:59,999
"Can't talk. "
Well, it's overrated.

1195
01:08:02,010 --> 01:08:03,705
Sign? Do you sign?

1196
01:08:09,017 --> 01:08:10,507
"Laryingitis. "

1197
01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:14,120
Laryngitis. That's the
alternate spelling, I guess.

1198
01:08:14,189 --> 01:08:16,987
I know Johnny had a date with Milly
tonight and I was hoping to catch him.

1199
01:08:17,058 --> 01:08:18,423
I can't reach him
on his cell phone.

1200
01:08:18,493 --> 01:08:23,897
I stupidly misplaced my keys and
I can't get back into our house.

1201
01:08:43,752 --> 01:08:45,447
They're beautiful.

1202
01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:48,751
Three girls, huh?
And all by yourself.

1203
01:08:49,057 --> 01:08:51,287
That couldn't have been easy.

1204
01:08:52,594 --> 01:08:55,825
Yeah, yeah, I know,
but still, it had to be tough.

1205
01:09:00,001 --> 01:09:02,094
"There's tougher things. "

1206
01:09:02,170 --> 01:09:05,139
Yeah, like trying
to give you a compliment.

1207
01:09:10,078 --> 01:09:13,707
You know, what could be good for that throat

1208
01:09:13,782 --> 01:09:16,342
is a couple of drops
of brandy.

1209
01:09:17,619 --> 01:09:20,281
Mine's feeling
a little scratchy, too.

1210
01:09:33,602 --> 01:09:34,762
Shall we take a walk?

1211
01:09:34,836 --> 01:09:36,428
We could get along.

1212
01:09:36,504 --> 01:09:37,528
Couldn't we?

1213
01:09:38,673 --> 01:09:41,039
You're sweet.
No, I'm not.

1214
01:09:41,109 --> 01:09:42,872
Yes, you're a dear.

1215
01:09:44,179 --> 01:09:45,703
What are you
thinking about now?

1216
01:09:45,780 --> 01:09:49,216
About how nice it is.
And you're nice, too.

1217
01:09:55,056 --> 01:09:57,524
Besides,
you're so very beautiful.

1218
01:09:59,961 --> 01:10:03,328
I'd be very glad to have you
kiss me now if you don't mind.

1219
01:10:07,869 --> 01:10:09,996
Women prefer him,
as a rule.

1220
01:10:17,078 --> 01:10:19,308
Where is he now?
Who?

1221
01:10:19,381 --> 01:10:22,544
The boy you're engaged to.
He's dead.

1222
01:10:26,321 --> 01:10:29,347
He was killed in the Somme.

1223
01:10:29,424 --> 01:10:31,153
Were you engaged long?

1224
01:10:31,226 --> 01:10:32,887
Eight years.
We grew up together.

1225
01:10:33,561 --> 01:10:37,258
Why didn't you marry? I didn't
know what the war was like then.

1226
01:10:40,702 --> 01:10:43,671
If I had it to do over again,
I'd marry him.

1227
01:10:49,644 --> 01:10:52,010
When I joined up, I remember
having this silly idea

1228
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,708
that he might come
to the hospital where I was.

1229
01:11:16,871 --> 01:11:20,671
Now we've got our basic tomato sauce.
I took out about two-thirds of it,

1230
01:11:20,742 --> 01:11:22,300
because if there's
any mistake

1231
01:11:22,377 --> 01:11:26,370
that American cooks make
when they're cooking pasta,

1232
01:11:26,448 --> 01:11:28,439
is that they tend to
over-sauce it.

1233
01:11:28,516 --> 01:11:30,074
They put too much stuff on.

1234
01:11:30,151 --> 01:11:31,880
In Italy, the main event
is the noodle

1235
01:11:31,953 --> 01:11:35,218
and the rest is just the dressing,
very much like we dress salads.

1236
01:11:35,290 --> 01:11:38,316
Now, I've got it in there.
I'm allowing it to start...

1237
01:11:44,833 --> 01:11:46,095
Hello.

1238
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:53,298
- Hi.
- Hi.

1239
01:11:57,545 --> 01:11:58,534
Hi.

1240
01:11:59,614 --> 01:12:00,945
Hi.

1241
01:12:01,016 --> 01:12:03,348
We were worried sick
about you.

1242
01:12:03,985 --> 01:12:07,512
It's nice to see you again, Milly. You, too.

1243
01:12:08,023 --> 01:12:09,513
It's a great night, isn't it?

1244
01:12:09,591 --> 01:12:11,957
- It's one for the books.
- Yeah.

1245
01:12:13,428 --> 01:12:15,259
She has a 'gina, too.

1246
01:12:15,964 --> 01:12:17,124
Lionel.

1247
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:20,062
As Grants,

1248
01:12:20,602 --> 01:12:23,093
we Grant you health,
we Grant you happiness,

1249
01:12:23,171 --> 01:12:26,140
we Grant you someone else
to water your plants.

1250
01:12:26,841 --> 01:12:27,830
Cheers.

1251
01:12:29,277 --> 01:12:30,869
Definitely.
Cheers.

1252
01:12:30,945 --> 01:12:32,378
Reggie's the toast giver.

1253
01:12:32,447 --> 01:12:34,278
He's the real talker in the family. I see.

1254
01:12:34,349 --> 01:12:36,283
Can somebody get me another
bourbon and soda on the rocks?

1255
01:12:36,351 --> 01:12:38,046
Oh, no, no, no,
you can't order bourbon...

1256
01:12:38,119 --> 01:12:40,781
They seem to be
hitting it off.

1257
01:12:40,855 --> 01:12:42,186
Definitely. Yeah.

1258
01:12:43,191 --> 01:12:46,217
Beautiful. I don't think so. And then
I want you to try the buffalo filet

1259
01:12:46,294 --> 01:12:47,989
while we're here.
Yeah.

1260
01:12:48,063 --> 01:12:50,964
You know, the buffalo was an endangered
species up until a couple of years ago

1261
01:12:51,032 --> 01:12:52,090
and now we're eating them.

1262
01:12:52,167 --> 01:12:53,930
Isn't this great, Mom?

1263
01:12:56,304 --> 01:12:57,896
...and you look out
over the fields

1264
01:12:57,972 --> 01:13:00,839
and what you see are herds
of commercial buffalo.

1265
01:13:00,909 --> 01:13:03,036
And then you also see
herds of...

1266
01:13:03,611 --> 01:13:06,580
I had a great time. Please tell
your parents good night for me, okay?

1267
01:13:06,648 --> 01:13:08,673
Good night.
Good night.

1268
01:13:17,325 --> 01:13:20,158
Tell me you're not seeing
that guy. Are you, Milly?

1269
01:13:21,296 --> 01:13:23,093
Yes, but I don't...

1270
01:13:23,164 --> 01:13:25,359
Actually, the "yes"
is all I needed to know.

1271
01:13:25,433 --> 01:13:28,197
No, no, no, but the "but"
part's really important too.

1272
01:13:28,269 --> 01:13:30,203
But what? Not him.

1273
01:13:30,839 --> 01:13:31,828
Why?

1274
01:13:31,906 --> 01:13:34,807
'Cause he looks like some guy
your mother would love.

1275
01:13:34,876 --> 01:13:35,934
Johnny, wait, though.

1276
01:13:36,010 --> 01:13:38,171
This is really difficult for me
and I've never been here before.

1277
01:13:38,246 --> 01:13:39,508
I don't know how to
navigate this.

1278
01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:42,675
Oh, poor thing.
Don't talk to me that way.

1279
01:13:42,750 --> 01:13:44,308
Oh, I'm sorry.
What was I thinking?

1280
01:13:44,385 --> 01:13:47,684
You're involved with this guy to the
point where you're meeting his family

1281
01:13:47,755 --> 01:13:50,451
and I should be careful
how I'm talking to you?

1282
01:13:52,427 --> 01:13:54,520
Are you sleeping with him?

1283
01:13:59,767 --> 01:14:01,962
I wouldn't say it that way.

1284
01:14:04,072 --> 01:14:06,370
Well, what way
would you say it?

1285
01:14:11,079 --> 01:14:13,513
Are you going to stop
seeing him?

1286
01:14:16,618 --> 01:14:18,711
That pause says it all.
No, it doesn't.

1287
01:14:18,786 --> 01:14:20,481
That's not true.
That's not true.

1288
01:14:20,555 --> 01:14:22,921
Who are you?
I can't even look at you.

1289
01:14:28,796 --> 01:14:30,058
Oh, God.

1290
01:14:30,632 --> 01:14:31,894
Oh, God.

1291
01:14:33,468 --> 01:14:36,232
The train has been delayed.

1292
01:14:44,712 --> 01:14:48,113
The train has been delayed. Scusi,
I'm gonna go check on the soufflés.

1293
01:14:59,561 --> 01:15:00,926
Oh, no.

1294
01:15:03,164 --> 01:15:04,495
Oh, no.

1295
01:15:05,366 --> 01:15:09,427
Jason's finally met such a wonderful girl.

1296
01:15:09,504 --> 01:15:14,271
She's so sweet. She has the
loveliest spirit about her.

1297
01:15:14,342 --> 01:15:18,836
But I still can't believe
he found her on the Internet.

1298
01:15:18,913 --> 01:15:20,847
Not like in our day.

1299
01:15:20,915 --> 01:15:22,280
That somehow reminds me

1300
01:15:22,350 --> 01:15:25,808
of people writing a phone
number on the bathroom wall.

1301
01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:35,688
Sweetie, I think that we should...
Are you dating somebody else?

1302
01:15:35,763 --> 01:15:36,752
What?

1303
01:15:37,498 --> 01:15:39,329
I just heard your mom
on the phone talk about

1304
01:15:39,400 --> 01:15:41,664
how you're dating some girl
you met on the Internet.

1305
01:15:41,736 --> 01:15:44,102
Oh, it's nothing
like that at all.

1306
01:15:44,172 --> 01:15:47,801
I'm surprised and I don't even
know if I have the right to be,

1307
01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:49,604
'cause to be honest,
I feel like I need to tell you

1308
01:15:49,677 --> 01:15:52,805
that I'm also dating
somebody else.

1309
01:15:55,383 --> 01:15:59,683
Well, first of all, to be honest,
you didn't need to be so honest.

1310
01:16:00,288 --> 01:16:02,586
I'm not seeing anyone but you.

1311
01:16:03,258 --> 01:16:07,661
But since we're being honest, this is
something that I was saving for later.

1312
01:16:13,001 --> 01:16:14,127
What?

1313
01:16:16,638 --> 01:16:18,401
My mother's personal ad?

1314
01:16:22,810 --> 01:16:25,711
Oh, my God.

1315
01:16:26,214 --> 01:16:28,239
You sounded just like her
there.

1316
01:16:28,316 --> 01:16:29,874
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1317
01:16:29,951 --> 01:16:32,146
Hey, hey, hey. What does it matter how we met?

1318
01:16:32,220 --> 01:16:34,279
You and my mom have been
totally scheming

1319
01:16:34,355 --> 01:16:36,550
and now I know exactly
why she pushed me on you.

1320
01:16:36,624 --> 01:16:38,922
Because she was voting
for you. She found you.

1321
01:16:38,993 --> 01:16:41,018
Yeah, and it doesn't
take anything away from us.

1322
01:16:41,095 --> 01:16:44,724
What matters is that we did meet
and how good this is between us.

1323
01:16:44,799 --> 01:16:45,857
And the truth of that...

1324
01:16:45,933 --> 01:16:48,265
The truth? Where's the truth?
Where's the truth?

1325
01:16:48,336 --> 01:16:50,998
Because you've been living a lie
and I've been lying to you, Jason.

1326
01:16:51,072 --> 01:16:52,437
And it doesn't
change anything.

1327
01:16:52,507 --> 01:16:54,304
How does that not
change everything?

1328
01:16:54,375 --> 01:16:58,709
Because you're here. I think
you already made your choice.

1329
01:16:58,780 --> 01:17:00,611
But if it helps, I'll say it.

1330
01:17:00,682 --> 01:17:03,913
Stop seeing him.
Then you and I can get closer.

1331
01:17:04,786 --> 01:17:08,187
Close enough to spend the
rest of our lives together.

1332
01:17:08,690 --> 01:17:10,487
I knew I had you
the day I met you.

1333
01:17:10,558 --> 01:17:12,150
How could you know
something like that?

1334
01:17:12,226 --> 01:17:13,488
'Cause you were so nervous,

1335
01:17:13,561 --> 01:17:17,053
you laughed like a hyena in that
beautiful polka dot dress of yours.

1336
01:17:17,131 --> 01:17:18,291
Really?

1337
01:17:18,366 --> 01:17:19,355
Mmm-hmm.

1338
01:17:25,306 --> 01:17:27,103
I'll tell you one thing,
though.

1339
01:17:27,175 --> 01:17:29,200
You did not have me
the moment that we met

1340
01:17:29,277 --> 01:17:30,869
because I wasn't even sure
that I liked the fact

1341
01:17:30,945 --> 01:17:34,278
that your staff talked about you
behind your back at the dessert table.

1342
01:17:34,349 --> 01:17:36,180
And, excuse me,
but, truth be told,

1343
01:17:36,250 --> 01:17:37,808
I didn't like anything
that you ordered for me

1344
01:17:37,885 --> 01:17:39,648
on our first date,
except the calamari.

1345
01:17:39,721 --> 01:17:42,656
And okay, fine, yes, it was nice
to not have to think for a change,

1346
01:17:42,724 --> 01:17:45,522
but who wants someone
who doesn't think?

1347
01:17:45,593 --> 01:17:50,053
Look, and sometimes you laugh when I cry
and say, "Huh?" when I make perfect sense.

1348
01:17:50,131 --> 01:17:54,761
And never, ever, in my life have I
burned a chocolate soufflé until now

1349
01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:56,269
and that, in and of itself,

1350
01:17:56,337 --> 01:17:59,864
oh, my God, should have told me I
don't feel like myself around you.

1351
01:17:59,941 --> 01:18:03,399
And I would have decided that a long
time ago if it weren't for my mother.

1352
01:18:03,478 --> 01:18:06,413
Because who wants someone
who laughs like a hyena

1353
01:18:06,481 --> 01:18:10,508
in a polka dot dress
that my mother made me buy?

1354
01:18:13,221 --> 01:18:14,882
I love that dress.

1355
01:18:16,924 --> 01:18:18,414
Take her out.

1356
01:18:32,373 --> 01:18:33,465
Hey.

1357
01:18:36,644 --> 01:18:38,908
Stuart, this is an emergency.
Well, should I wait?

1358
01:18:38,980 --> 01:18:40,777
Let's reschedule.
But I'm suicidal.

1359
01:18:40,848 --> 01:18:43,783
Oh, wow, this is making me feel like
when I was the last pick in kickball...

1360
01:18:43,851 --> 01:18:46,786
Right and that's exactly
where we'll begin next week.

1361
01:18:46,854 --> 01:18:51,086
Maggie, you promised me
after Willie Matthews,

1362
01:18:51,159 --> 01:18:52,626
you would never
lie to me again.

1363
01:18:52,693 --> 01:18:55,253
Oh, Milly Woo, Milly Boo.
Stop.

1364
01:18:55,329 --> 01:18:57,729
Well, I'm sorry. Mommy made
me promise not to say anything

1365
01:18:57,799 --> 01:18:59,528
or she'd be furious.
Mommy?

1366
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:03,559
Mommy made you promise?
Where is your own moral code?

1367
01:19:03,638 --> 01:19:06,163
Your adulthood?
Your sisterhood?

1368
01:19:06,240 --> 01:19:07,468
Just...

1369
01:19:10,912 --> 01:19:12,880
I'm feeling rejected by you.
Okay.

1370
01:19:12,947 --> 01:19:14,710
And it's bringing up memories
of summer camp

1371
01:19:14,782 --> 01:19:18,218
when Jimmy Feldon and Eric Fishman
both transferred out of my bunk.

1372
01:19:18,286 --> 01:19:20,049
I totally understand, Stuart.

1373
01:19:20,121 --> 01:19:23,318
Come back today and we'll do a
two-hour session at 3:00 p. m.

1374
01:19:24,926 --> 01:19:26,018
Listen, you're right.

1375
01:19:26,093 --> 01:19:28,891
I didn't handle this well and
I understand you feel betrayed.

1376
01:19:28,963 --> 01:19:31,557
But, really, isn't some of
this anger a little misplaced?

1377
01:19:31,632 --> 01:19:34,260
No, no, Maggie. It's placed
exactly where it should be.

1378
01:19:34,335 --> 01:19:37,099
And there is plenty to go around, so
don't worry, Mom will be getting hers.

1379
01:19:37,171 --> 01:19:38,763
Okay...
Maggie.

1380
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:42,666
Stuart, I am asking you
to empower yourself and leave.

1381
01:19:42,743 --> 01:19:44,870
This could be a huge day
for you, Stuart.

1382
01:19:44,946 --> 01:19:48,507
This makes me feel like when I was
13 and no one came to my bar mitzvah.

1383
01:19:48,583 --> 01:19:50,346
Why didn't they come?
I don't get it.

1384
01:19:50,418 --> 01:19:52,249
Stuart, you have
a blood sugar problem, okay?

1385
01:19:52,320 --> 01:19:53,981
Just get some lunch,
you'll be fine.

1386
01:19:54,055 --> 01:19:56,319
Honey, I know this is painful.

1387
01:19:56,390 --> 01:19:58,051
Do you have any snacks
in here?

1388
01:19:58,125 --> 01:19:59,524
Third shelf on the right.

1389
01:19:59,594 --> 01:20:01,084
Honey, instead of blaming Mom,

1390
01:20:01,162 --> 01:20:04,325
you should really focus on the fact that
both of these guys went along with it.

1391
01:20:04,398 --> 01:20:07,424
I am, I am. Because
I just told Jason that...

1392
01:20:08,369 --> 01:20:09,700
Guys...

1393
01:20:11,906 --> 01:20:13,134
Guys?

1394
01:20:17,178 --> 01:20:18,805
That was plural, wasn't it?

1395
01:20:18,880 --> 01:20:20,848
I feel like I don't know what
you guys are talking about

1396
01:20:20,915 --> 01:20:23,008
and it's making me feel
very much out of the loop,

1397
01:20:23,084 --> 01:20:24,813
and it's making me want
to jump out the window.

1398
01:20:24,886 --> 01:20:27,719
Stuart. For ten years,
my sister has sat here

1399
01:20:27,788 --> 01:20:30,518
and told me that you're
about to commit suicide.

1400
01:20:30,591 --> 01:20:31,751
Well?

1401
01:20:34,328 --> 01:20:36,888
You mean she's been
talking about me?

1402
01:20:38,733 --> 01:20:41,668
Wow. God.

1403
01:20:43,471 --> 01:20:46,440
Mom? Are you there?
Pick up the phone, Mom.

1404
01:20:47,441 --> 01:20:48,703
Hello?

1405
01:20:51,279 --> 01:20:53,270
You've reached Daphne...
You've reached Daphne...

1406
01:20:53,347 --> 01:20:54,473
You've reached Daphne Wilder.

1407
01:20:54,549 --> 01:20:57,245
Please leave a message
after the tone.

1408
01:20:59,954 --> 01:21:02,616
Oh, my God.
Oh, thank you, dear God.

1409
01:21:09,130 --> 01:21:10,256
Mom.

1410
01:21:17,471 --> 01:21:18,529
Mom.

1411
01:21:18,606 --> 01:21:19,937
Yeah.

1412
01:21:24,378 --> 01:21:25,538
Yeah?

1413
01:21:28,783 --> 01:21:29,772
Yes!

1414
01:21:30,151 --> 01:21:32,051
Oh, my God.
Yes, oh, yes!

1415
01:21:33,421 --> 01:21:35,252
Oh, my God!

1416
01:21:36,657 --> 01:21:38,386
Yes. Yes.

1417
01:21:38,459 --> 01:21:40,256
Yes!

1418
01:21:42,163 --> 01:21:43,960
Okay, so the orange-cranberry
muffins are in here?

1419
01:21:44,031 --> 01:21:45,055
They're in there.

1420
01:21:45,132 --> 01:21:46,895
And the ones with the nuts
are in here too?

1421
01:21:46,968 --> 01:21:48,629
They're in there, too.

1422
01:21:48,703 --> 01:21:50,000
I had a little trouble
with the frosting,

1423
01:21:50,071 --> 01:21:51,561
but I know how much
you love butter cream.

1424
01:21:51,639 --> 01:21:54,699
Mother, I told you
on the phone I need distance.

1425
01:21:55,176 --> 01:21:57,406
Okay. But it's a new recipe.

1426
01:21:57,478 --> 01:22:00,675
Tangerine instead of orange.
For a clean slate?

1427
01:22:00,748 --> 01:22:03,273
Why don't you get it?
I don't want to see you.

1428
01:22:03,351 --> 01:22:07,981
Milly, if I'm guilty of any crime, it's
just that I've just loved you too much.

1429
01:22:08,055 --> 01:22:09,147
Here.

1430
01:22:10,491 --> 01:22:13,324
Milly?
It was just so you. I...

1431
01:22:20,801 --> 01:22:21,961
Milly?

1432
01:22:51,732 --> 01:22:54,667
This isn't the way
it was supposed to be.

1433
01:22:55,136 --> 01:22:57,366
Welcome to life.

1434
01:22:57,438 --> 01:23:02,375
Yeah, but I mean, how can I be
happy if she's not happy, hmm?

1435
01:23:09,316 --> 01:23:11,876
Hey, it's Milly.
Leave me a message.

1436
01:23:12,653 --> 01:23:16,316
Milly? It's your mother,
Daphne Wilder.

1437
01:23:17,058 --> 01:23:18,650
Please pick up.

1438
01:23:19,827 --> 01:23:21,624
It's been four days.

1439
01:23:24,598 --> 01:23:25,724
Okay.

1440
01:23:31,038 --> 01:23:33,063
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?

1441
01:23:33,140 --> 01:23:34,630
What are... Nothing.

1442
01:23:35,476 --> 01:23:37,103
Just do nothing.

1443
01:23:46,387 --> 01:23:48,947
Hey, it's Milly.
Leave me a message.

1444
01:23:49,023 --> 01:23:50,923
Hi, Milly.
This is your mother.

1445
01:23:50,991 --> 01:23:54,825
Hopefully, you still have
a mental picture of me.

1446
01:23:54,895 --> 01:23:58,023
We have the same hands
and earlobes

1447
01:23:58,132 --> 01:24:01,124
and love of Bauer pottery.

1448
01:24:01,669 --> 01:24:04,729
I know that you asked me
not to call you

1449
01:24:05,439 --> 01:24:06,428
and I respect that.

1450
01:24:06,507 --> 01:24:09,340
I just thought that
you might like to know

1451
01:24:09,410 --> 01:24:13,107
that I found Grandma's recipe for
your favorite Lady Baltimore cake.

1452
01:24:13,547 --> 01:24:15,412
The one from my
third birthday.

1453
01:24:15,483 --> 01:24:17,781
The one from
your third birthday.

1454
01:24:17,918 --> 01:24:19,977
You know what, Milly? Okay,
you were right about Johnny.

1455
01:24:20,054 --> 01:24:21,851
Obviously,
he has more character.

1456
01:24:21,922 --> 01:24:24,254
I mean,
he's really a good guy.

1457
01:24:24,492 --> 01:24:29,122
And you should know
that he never saw that ad,

1458
01:24:29,196 --> 01:24:31,323
and, in fact,
we met by chance.

1459
01:24:31,432 --> 01:24:34,526
He was just an
innocent bystander.

1460
01:24:38,272 --> 01:24:41,833
I know that I'm saying too
much. I've learned my lesson.

1461
01:24:42,009 --> 01:24:43,033
Good.

1462
01:24:43,244 --> 01:24:47,180
Because, Milly,
it's your life.

1463
01:24:47,782 --> 01:24:51,912
Yup, that's right.
That's absolutely right.

1464
01:24:54,188 --> 01:24:56,713
Hey, it's Milly.
Leave me a message.

1465
01:24:56,791 --> 01:25:01,785
I know you're in there and it's fine with
me that you've chosen not to pick up.

1466
01:25:03,164 --> 01:25:07,362
But, Milly, if you're in any
way still pulled to Johnny,

1467
01:25:07,434 --> 01:25:11,200
then please don't let
your pride or our differences

1468
01:25:11,272 --> 01:25:13,331
come between you
and getting what you want

1469
01:25:13,407 --> 01:25:17,901
otherwise, honey, you're gonna
end up like some pathetic character

1470
01:25:17,978 --> 01:25:20,173
in a Tennessee Williams play.

1471
01:25:21,282 --> 01:25:24,149
Believe me,
I know what I'm talking about.

1472
01:25:26,520 --> 01:25:27,646
Okay.

1473
01:25:49,276 --> 01:25:50,504
Milly...

1474
01:25:51,345 --> 01:25:52,505
Milly?

1475
01:25:54,782 --> 01:25:57,307
I never meant to
hurt you, sweetie.

1476
01:25:58,385 --> 01:26:04,153
And I promise I will never
ever interfere ever again.

1477
01:26:08,929 --> 01:26:11,193
I was, I was only, I mean...

1478
01:26:15,236 --> 01:26:18,034
I guess
what I'm trying to say is

1479
01:26:22,343 --> 01:26:26,006
that I was just trying to
protect you from becoming me.

1480
01:26:27,848 --> 01:26:29,372
My sweet girl.

1481
01:26:34,255 --> 01:26:35,381
Mom?

1482
01:26:39,126 --> 01:26:40,457
Hi, honey.

1483
01:26:44,965 --> 01:26:46,364
I miss you.

1484
01:26:48,068 --> 01:26:49,729
I miss you, too.

1485
01:26:59,313 --> 01:27:01,110
Solo on the four chord.

1486
01:27:06,120 --> 01:27:08,554
Alternate the bass line,
will you?

1487
01:27:13,861 --> 01:27:16,091
Too late for spring sign-up.

1488
01:27:16,163 --> 01:27:17,653
I've actually been here
before.

1489
01:27:17,731 --> 01:27:21,861
I came once on a Tuesday when it
was closed, and I just wanted to...

1490
01:27:21,936 --> 01:27:24,496
You know, I can't hear you.
I'm sorry.

1491
01:27:25,572 --> 01:27:26,800
Please.

1492
01:27:33,714 --> 01:27:35,113
I miss you.

1493
01:27:37,217 --> 01:27:38,616
I miss us

1494
01:27:40,421 --> 01:27:41,581
and I'm not seeing anybody.

1495
01:27:41,655 --> 01:27:42,883
That doesn't change
anything for us, Milly.

1496
01:27:42,957 --> 01:27:46,358
Yeah, but Johnny, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm so deeply sorry,

1497
01:27:46,427 --> 01:27:49,954
and I wish I could find a less
cliché word for sorry, but...

1498
01:27:52,967 --> 01:27:56,403
It was an aberration.
It's not who I am,

1499
01:27:56,470 --> 01:28:00,065
and I know we can't start
over, but maybe we could...

1500
01:28:02,242 --> 01:28:04,676
Maybe we could try this again.

1501
01:28:08,315 --> 01:28:10,476
I need to get back up there.

1502
01:28:25,699 --> 01:28:29,635
Okay, you're driving a bus.
Seven hundred and fifty people get on.

1503
01:28:29,703 --> 01:28:31,102
Two get off.

1504
01:28:31,505 --> 01:28:33,439
Thirty thousand
seventy-one get on.

1505
01:28:33,507 --> 01:28:35,168
Four hundred and five
get off.

1506
01:28:35,242 --> 01:28:37,710
A thousand get on and nine
hundred and ninety-nine get off.

1507
01:28:37,778 --> 01:28:39,302
Get off.

1508
01:28:39,380 --> 01:28:41,905
What color are
the bus driver's eyes?

1509
01:28:42,249 --> 01:28:43,375
I don't know.

1510
01:28:43,450 --> 01:28:46,442
I said you're driving the bus.
Get it, dummy?

1511
01:28:47,221 --> 01:28:48,620
You dummy.

1512
01:28:49,023 --> 01:28:50,047
Dummy.

1513
01:28:50,124 --> 01:28:53,321
You did say that, Lionel.
That's right. That's so good.

1514
01:28:53,394 --> 01:28:55,988
He did. That is so great. That is so great.

1515
01:28:56,063 --> 01:28:57,087
Want to hear it again?

1516
01:28:57,164 --> 01:28:58,392
Well, I mean, I don't know.

1517
01:28:58,465 --> 01:29:01,298
Actually, I thought you really
nailed it that last time, so...

1518
01:29:01,368 --> 01:29:03,893
Didn't he?
Just one more time. Please?

1519
01:29:03,971 --> 01:29:04,960
Okay.

1520
01:29:05,039 --> 01:29:06,404
Okay, you're driving a bus.

1521
01:29:06,473 --> 01:29:09,033
Five people get off. Six
people get on. Really?

1522
01:29:09,109 --> 01:29:11,839
Seven hundred and
seventy-five thousand get on.

1523
01:29:11,912 --> 01:29:13,607
Seven hundred and
thirty-five million and one...

1524
01:29:13,680 --> 01:29:15,147
Oh, no.
Hey, guys.

1525
01:29:17,117 --> 01:29:18,948
You know, I forgot
a few things at the market.

1526
01:29:19,019 --> 01:29:20,111
I'm just gonna...
I'll be right back.

1527
01:29:20,187 --> 01:29:21,711
Dad, Dad, you got to
hear this punch line.

1528
01:29:21,789 --> 01:29:24,223
Yeah, yeah. You really, really...
You have to stick around for this.

1529
01:29:24,291 --> 01:29:26,350
Think you got to, Johnny.

1530
01:29:27,227 --> 01:29:28,854
- Okay, now.
- What is it?

1531
01:29:28,929 --> 01:29:30,624
You are driving a bus.
Yeah.

1532
01:29:30,697 --> 01:29:33,063
A billon million catrillion
get on.

1533
01:29:33,133 --> 01:29:34,896
I cannot believe you are
here. You are truly insane.

1534
01:29:34,968 --> 01:29:36,526
Two hundred billion million
get off.

1535
01:29:36,603 --> 01:29:37,900
Well, I... This is
a surprise to you?

1536
01:29:37,971 --> 01:29:39,233
Daphne, you're not listening.

1537
01:29:39,306 --> 01:29:42,469
Honey, oh, no, no. I swear,
of course, I'm listening.

1538
01:29:42,543 --> 01:29:46,035
Okay. Dad and Daphne.
You're driving a bus.

1539
01:29:46,113 --> 01:29:50,049
Five hundred catrillion
cazillion get on.

1540
01:29:50,117 --> 01:29:52,381
But zero...
Lionel, look.

1541
01:29:52,453 --> 01:29:53,920
A blimp.
Where?

1542
01:29:53,987 --> 01:29:55,614
Right there.
I can't see it.

1543
01:29:55,689 --> 01:29:57,714
Right there. Look harder.
Where? Show me.

1544
01:29:57,791 --> 01:30:00,225
I can't see it.
Up, up. Look harder.

1545
01:30:03,464 --> 01:30:07,457
I've wanted to talk to you for the past
few days and I haven't had the nerve.

1546
01:30:07,534 --> 01:30:09,695
That I find hard to believe.

1547
01:30:10,204 --> 01:30:12,399
Johnny, you have
too much pride.

1548
01:30:12,473 --> 01:30:13,963
I prefer to call it
common sense.

1549
01:30:14,041 --> 01:30:17,374
It's pride, and it's a
quality you and I share.

1550
01:30:17,444 --> 01:30:20,538
It's an admirable one,
until it becomes a wall.

1551
01:30:20,881 --> 01:30:23,213
"Well, yes, I am alone,

1552
01:30:23,283 --> 01:30:26,411
"but at least I have my righteous
anger to keep me company at night. "

1553
01:30:26,487 --> 01:30:28,478
Come on, that's not a life,
and you know it.

1554
01:30:28,555 --> 01:30:31,046
And let's face it.
I mean, if it wasn't for me,

1555
01:30:31,125 --> 01:30:34,356
obviously Milly never would have
betrayed you in the first place.

1556
01:30:34,428 --> 01:30:36,259
So what are you doing, Johnny?
What are you doing?

1557
01:30:36,330 --> 01:30:39,060
Why waste one more minute
of your life?

1558
01:30:40,367 --> 01:30:41,959
And I'm right.

1559
01:30:42,035 --> 01:30:44,333
I'm so right.

1560
01:30:45,038 --> 01:30:46,505
Damn it.

1561
01:30:46,573 --> 01:30:48,268
For once, she is.

1562
01:30:51,612 --> 01:30:53,876
Jeez, you guys,
no one's listening.

1563
01:30:53,947 --> 01:30:56,609
If Milly was here,
she would get my joke.

1564
01:30:56,683 --> 01:31:00,483
You're driving a bus. Ten people
get on. Ten people get off.

1565
01:31:00,554 --> 01:31:03,887
Thirty thousand get on. Thirty
thousand get off. A million get on...

1566
01:31:04,558 --> 01:31:06,321
See, that's the fun
of the tuna pasta toss,

1567
01:31:06,393 --> 01:31:08,554
'cause it's delicious
and it's easy,

1568
01:31:08,629 --> 01:31:10,221
because when
you're cooking for one,

1569
01:31:10,297 --> 01:31:12,891
it's really important to look
forward to the end result. You know?

1570
01:31:12,966 --> 01:31:15,526
What if you want to
make it for two?

1571
01:31:21,041 --> 01:31:26,274
It's a little bit more complicated,
but I think it can be done.

1572
01:31:32,219 --> 01:31:33,777
I see some of you
have gone ahead

1573
01:31:33,854 --> 01:31:37,187
and already added your carrots
and your pickled relish.

1574
01:31:37,257 --> 01:31:39,316
And remember
that some people like dill.

1575
01:31:39,393 --> 01:31:42,760
Even before I met you,
I had an instinct about you.

1576
01:31:43,197 --> 01:31:46,894
And once I saw you were a woman
with profound static cling,

1577
01:31:46,967 --> 01:31:49,561
I wanted to be
that force around you.

1578
01:31:50,537 --> 01:31:53,734
Personally, I love dill.
I think it's not used enough

1579
01:31:53,807 --> 01:31:56,105
and very underrated,
sort of, like, mayonnaise,

1580
01:31:56,176 --> 01:31:59,441
and I also really love
olive oil for tuna.

1581
01:31:59,513 --> 01:32:03,108
I love that when I breathe you
in, you smell of cake batter.

1582
01:32:05,953 --> 01:32:08,285
And I love that
you have this insane way

1583
01:32:08,355 --> 01:32:11,620
of talking in circles
that makes perfect sense.

1584
01:32:12,893 --> 01:32:13,951
I do?

1585
01:32:15,128 --> 01:32:18,291
'Cause sometimes I feel like
nobody understands me but...

1586
01:32:18,365 --> 01:32:19,423
Me.

1587
01:32:20,200 --> 01:32:21,531
I get you.

1588
01:32:24,471 --> 01:32:29,135
That's wonderful. But, you
know, my bladder is about to pop.

1589
01:32:29,209 --> 01:32:31,439
Can you hold it for a minute?

1590
01:32:35,482 --> 01:32:38,178
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guys.
Where were we?

1591
01:32:39,319 --> 01:32:42,311
With the tuna pasta
and the tuna noodle doodles,

1592
01:32:42,389 --> 01:32:43,651
tuna sandwiches, tuna...

1593
01:32:43,724 --> 01:32:46,022
I love your eyes.

1594
01:32:47,794 --> 01:32:49,625
I even love

1595
01:32:51,865 --> 01:32:53,332
your mother.

1596
01:33:32,472 --> 01:33:34,940
- Well, we gotta get this show on the road.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1597
01:33:35,008 --> 01:33:37,067
Where is she? Well, it should
have started 20 minutes ago.

1598
01:33:37,144 --> 01:33:39,203
That's not like her. I mean,
the ceremony has to start soon.

1599
01:33:39,279 --> 01:33:40,644
I don't know
where she is, though.

1600
01:33:43,550 --> 01:33:44,539
Oh, my God.

1601
01:33:44,618 --> 01:33:46,609
I'm worried.
I hope she's okay.

1602
01:33:46,687 --> 01:33:48,484
Just call her.
All right. I'm calling.

1603
01:33:48,555 --> 01:33:50,455
It's her own wedding.

1604
01:33:51,792 --> 01:33:53,692
Oh, no.

1605
01:33:54,328 --> 01:33:55,352
No.

1606
01:33:57,297 --> 01:33:58,628
Hi, honey.

1607
01:33:58,865 --> 01:34:01,356
Hi, Mom. Where are you?

1608
01:34:02,602 --> 01:34:05,799
Honey, I just have to talk to you
a little bit later, okay? Mil...

1609
01:34:05,872 --> 01:34:09,672
Oh, my God. I kind of think she's
having sex with Joe right now.

1610
01:34:09,743 --> 01:34:10,869
Great.
Awesome.

1611
01:34:10,944 --> 01:34:13,845
Would she like us to explain that to
all the guests, or just the preacher?

1612
01:34:13,914 --> 01:34:15,404
She is a woman after
my own heart.

1613
01:34:15,482 --> 01:34:18,212
All right, Mom? We are gonna
give you five more minutes.

1614
01:34:18,285 --> 01:34:19,809
Ten. Ten.

1615
01:34:19,886 --> 01:34:21,217
Mom. Come on.

1616
01:34:21,288 --> 01:34:23,313
Open up the champagne,
sweetie. What's the rush?

1617
01:34:23,390 --> 01:34:25,324
Because I said so.

1618
01:34:25,392 --> 01:34:27,121
Mom, don't hang up
the phone on me.

1619
01:34:30,197 --> 01:34:32,222
You got soul

1620
01:34:32,299 --> 01:34:34,460
Everybody knows

1621
01:34:34,534 --> 01:34:38,527
That it's all right,
it's all right

1622
01:34:40,040 --> 01:34:43,976
When you wake up
early in the morning

1623
01:34:44,044 --> 01:34:47,707
Feeling sad,
like so many of us do

1624
01:34:48,715 --> 01:34:53,152
Hum a little soul
Make life your goal

1625
01:34:53,220 --> 01:34:58,487
Surely something's got to come
to you And say it's all right

1626
01:34:58,558 --> 01:35:00,048
It's all right

1627
01:35:00,694 --> 01:35:05,028
It's all right
It's all right

1628
01:35:05,098 --> 01:35:07,157
It's all right

1629
01:35:07,234 --> 01:35:08,963
Have a good time

1630
01:35:09,035 --> 01:35:13,028
'Cause it's all right
It's all right

1631
01:35:14,708 --> 01:35:17,506
- Are we married or what?
- All right.

1632
01:35:18,500 --> 01:36:00,700
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