*
- DAD?
I'M NOT FEELING WELL.
- COME HERE. LET ME TAKE A LOOK.
WOW, 150-DEGREE TEMPERATURE.
- I'M PROBABLY TOO SICK TO GO TO JIMMY PEOPLES' HOUSE.
YOU BETTER CALL AND CANCEL.
- YEAH, RIGHT AFTER THAT, I'LL CALL THE CORONER.
150-DEGREE TEMPERATURE, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN WALKING.
- I AM?
- YEAH, I GIVE YOU 5, 10 MINUTES TO LIVE, TOPS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS, THIS HAPPENED SOON ENOUGH
FOR YOUR MOTHER AND I TO START OVER AGAIN.
MAYBE THIS TIME WE'LL HAVE A GIRL.
- HOW'D YOU KNOW I WAS FAKING?
- WELL, SHAWN, YOUR FIRST MISTAKE
WAS STICKING THE THERMOMETER IN BOILING WATER.
NEXT TIME, TRY PUTTING IT IN A HOT SANDWICH
OR BEHIND THE TELEVISION.
AND WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO JIMMY'S?
THEY WERE KIND ENOUGH TO INVITE US OVER.
- THEY'RE THE WEIRDEST FAMILY ON THE ENTIRE BLOCK.
- SHAWN, THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT EVERY FAMILY.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES AMERICA GREAT.
- THEY EAT WEIRD FOOD.
- ALL FOOD IS WEIRD UNTIL YOU TRY IT.
- I MEAN, THEY DON'T EVEN EAT MEAT.
- YOU MEAN THEY'RE VEGETARIANS.
- I THINK THEY CALL IT "VEGAN."
- YOU GUYS READY FOR SOME BARBECUE TOFU?
- [coughing]
I THINK I GOT THAT SAME THING YOU GOT.
[chatter over radios]
- I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN, FOR HELPING OUT.
- DON'T MENTION IT, CHIEF.
SEARCH AND RESCUE IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
- OUR MISSING PERSON IS WARREN CLAYTON.
- THE BILLIONAIRE INVESTOR?
- YES, THAT'S THE ONE.
- HIS HEDGE FUND HAS HAD AN AVERAGE ANNUAL RETURN
OF 20% FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.
- MR. CLAYTON'S PRIVATE PLANE LOST CONTACT
WITH THE TOWER AROUND 0700.
AND WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT HIS PLANE CRASHED
SOMEWHERE IN THESE MOUNTAINS.
NOW, MR. SPENCER, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.
I NEED TO KNOW OF ANY SIGNALS THAT YOU PICK UP
THAT CAN LEAD US TO HIM.
OKAY, PEOPLE, OUR WINDOW
OF FINDING CLAYTON ALIVE IS CLOSING.
SO LET'S MOVE ON OUT.
- FACE IT, SPENCER, YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE
OF FINDING THAT DOWNED PLANE BEFORE WE DO.
BUT, UH, HAVE A NICE WALK.
LET'S GO.
- NOTE TO SELF:
GET ONE OF THOSE FOR THE OFFICE.
- I HOPE YOU HAVE A PLAN AS TO HOW
WE'RE GOING TO FIND THIS CRASHED PLANE.
AND I HOPE THAT PLAN DOESN'T END UP
WITH US BEING EATEN BY A BEAR.
- DON'T WORRY, GUS. WE HAVE A SECRET WEAPON.
- A LARGER, BEAR-EATING BEAR?
- BOOM! - A MAP?
THAT'S YOUR SECRET WEAPON?
- THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL MAP, MY FRIEND.
[grunts] WITH LARGE WORDS
THAT PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND,
LIKE "LATITUDINAL" AND "EAST."
THIS HERE IS A MAP FROM MY FATHER'S HUNTSMAN CLUB.
THESE OLD GEEZERS MAKE THEIR OWN MAPS
WITH TRAILS AND PATHS, LANDMARKS,
THAT GOVERNMENT MAPS DON'T EVEN HAVE.
WE WILL USE THESE SHORTCUTS
TO COVER MORE GROUND THAN THE COPS CAN.
- SWEET.
[crash] - WHOA, WHOA.
THAT SOUNDED BIG.
[crash]
- THAT'S A BEAR. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[whipping] - OW! STOP!
[both grunting]
I'M NOT GONNA BE THE ONE THAT GETS EATEN!
- ME EITHER!
[bang bang]
- DID THAT SOUND LIKE METAL TO YOU?
- IT DID.
[banging]
- THAT'S HIM. - DUDE.
- DUDE, WE'RE HEROES.
RIGHT. DON'T WORRY, MR. CLAYTON.
HELP IS ON THE WAY.
[beeping]
- NO SIGNAL! - ALL RIGHT, SIR.
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
JUST TRY TO HOLD STILL.
- [pained breathing]
NEEDED TO MAKE AMENDS.
GOOD FATHER. YOU UNDERSTAND?
- UH, YOU KNOW, GOOD FATHER'S KIND OF A TRICKY SUBJECT FOR ME.
UH, TRY TO CONSERVE YOUR ENERGY, MR. CLAYTON.
- [coughing and wheezing]
WATERLOO. - HE'S AN ABBA FAN.
- FIND OUT WHO KILLED ME.
- NO, NO, NO, MR. CLAYTON. OPEN YOUR EYES.
STAY WITH US HERE. - WATCH OUT, SHAWN.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO. MR. CLAYTON. MR. CLAYTON.
WHAT INDUSTRY SECTORS DO YOU SEE
OUTPERFORMING THE MARKET THIS YEAR?
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I'M TRYING TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, SHAWN.
- WELL, IT DIDN'T WORK.
HE'S DEAD.
- WELL, THAT'S A LOSE-LOSE.
[The Friendly Indians' I Know You Know]
*
- * I KNOW YOU KNOW
* THAT I'M NOT TELLING THE TRUTH *
* I KNOW YOU KNOW
* THEY JUST DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF *
* EMBRACE THE DECEPTION
* LEARN HOW TO BEND
* YOUR WORST INHIBITIONS
* TEND TO PSYCH YOU OUT IN THE END *
* I KNOW YOU KNOW *
- ALL RIGHT, LOWER THE BASKET AS SOON AS YOU'RE IN POSITION.
- SEE YOU BACK AT BASE CAMP.
- IT'S OUT OF OUR HANDS NOW.
- NOT SO FAST.
WE'VE BEEN GIVEN A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.
- HOW SO?
- WARREN CLAYTON'S DYING WISH.
MAN, WHAT IF THAT HAD BEEN YOUR DAD?
OR MY DAD?
AND SOME OTHER RANDOM BLACK GUY AND WHITE GUY
FOUND HIM WITH ONE BREATH LEFT?
WOULDN'T YOU WANT THOSE DUDES TO FULFILL
OUR DADS' FINAL WISH?
ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS ABOUT US?
- YOU THINK OF ME AS SOME RANDOM BLACK DUDE?
- MAN, WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT DID HE MEAN?
I MEAN, WAS HE POISONED BEFORE TAKEOFF,
OR--OR WAS HE INCAPACITATED,
AND THEN SOMEBODY ELSE PARACHUTED OUT?
- OR MAYBE IT WAS A-- - IT WASN'T A BEAR.
- I WASN'T GOING TO SAY THAT, SHAWN.
- WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY?
- MRS. CLAYTON, WE KNOW YOU WANT ANSWERS.
BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND, THESE THINGS DO TAKE TIME.
- PLEASE. IT ONLY TAKES MONEY.
HAVE YOU FOUND SATELLITE IMAGING OF THE PLANE BEFORE IT CRASHED?
HAVE YOU RUN A WEATHER SIMULATION?
- REST ASSURED THAT THE SANTA BARBARA POLICE DEPARTMENT
IS PUTTING ALL AVAILABLE RESOURCES ON THIS.
- [clears throat] ALMOST ALL OF ITS RESOURCES.
HELLO, MY NAME IS SHAWN SPENCER.
I'M THE DEPARTMENT PSYCHIC.
MRS. CLAYTON, I'M RECEIVING
A PSYCHIC TRANSMISSION FROM YOUR HUSBAND.
IT'S REALLY MORE OF A VOICE MAIL,
IF I'M BEING HONEST.
A STATUS UPDATE. PERHAPS A TWITTER.
- I BELIEVE IT'S CALLED A TWEET.
- THERE'S NO WAY I'M SAYING THAT.
- IS HE FOR REAL?
- IN SPITE OF MR. SPENCER'S FIRST IMPRESSION,
HE IS ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO LED US TO YOUR HUSBAND'S PLANE.
- HE KNEW WHAT CLOTHES YOUR HUSBAND WAS WEARING,
HOW HIS BODY WAS POSITIONED, EVEN WHAT COLOGNE HE WAS--
- I KNEW WHAT COLOGNE HE WAS WEARING.
I MEAN, HE DID. - [winces]
- WELL, LET'S HEAR THIS SUPPOSED MESSAGE FROM MY HUSBAND.
- IT'S A LITTLE CLOUDY, UH...
WARREN IS VERY UPSET.
HE'S SAYING...
"MURDER." HE'S SAYING "MURDER." - SHAWN.
- DOES THE WORD "WATERLOO"
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, MRS. CLAYTON?
- ALL RIGHT, SPENCER, YOU'VE WASTED ENOUGH
OF MRS. CLAYTON'S TIME WITH YOUR NONSENSE.
- NO, WAIT.
I-I'M REALLY QUITE SHOCKED.
- YOU ARE?
- YES, IT JUST DOESN'T SHOW ON MY FACE
BECAUSE OF YEARS OF BOTOX.
- AH. - WATERLOO IS THE NAME
OF THE 18th HOLE AT OUR COUNTRY CLUB.
WARREN MENTIONED JUST A WEEK AGO
THAT HE WANTED HIS ASHES SPREAD THERE.
- YES, OF COURSE. - STRANGE.
- NOT STRANGE. PSYCHIC ACUMEN.
- YOU WILL SOLVE THE MYSTERY
OF WHY MY HUSBAND'S PLANE CRASHED.
- TECHNICALLY, MR. SPENCER'S NOT BEEN HIRED--
- THIS NO LONGER CONCERNS THE POLICE,
AS I WILL BE FINANCING MR. SPENCER'S OPERATIONS.
I AM SURE THE TAXPAYERS' MONEY IS BETTER SPENT
ON SOME SOCIAL PROGRAM, OR A TREE.
WHAT RESOURCES WILL YOU BE NEEDING?
- RE--UH, OKAY. ONE.
A CASE OF RED VINES, INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED.
TWO, MINI FRIDGE FILLED WITH CACTUS COOLER.
NEED A SHAMWOW. - A NEW LAPTOP.
TELL HER WE NEED A NEW LAPTOP.
A NEW LAPTOP, PREFERABLY ONE
MADE OF RED VINES.
- GENTLEMEN, YOU ARE NO LONGER LIMITED
BY A POLICE DEPARTMENT BUDGET.
TELL ME WHAT IT WILL TAKE TO GET THIS DONE QUICKLY.
- WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I'LL NEED TO BECOME WARREN CLAYTON.
GO WHERE HE'D GO, DO WHAT HE'D DO,
SEE WHAT HE'D SEE.
- VERY WELL.
YOU WILL START YOUR WORK BY BEING MY GUESTS
AT DINNER TONIGHT AT MY ESTATE.
- THE ESTATE. - SAY WHAT?
- I'LL SEND THE CAR TO PICK YOU UP.
- THE CAR. - OH, NICE.
- THE DOOR.
- [chuckles] BIG DOOR.
- THE DOOR. - OH, YES, OF COURSE, THE DOOR.
[clears throat]
GET OUT OF HERE.
AS I GENTLY HELD HIS SKULL,
WHICH WAS FRACTURED IN SEVERAL PLACES,
I WAS ABLE TO KEEP DEATH'S COLD CLUTCH
FROM ENVELOPING CLAYTON JUST LONG ENOUGH
FOR HIM TO EXPRESS HIS DYING WISH.
- SHAWN, THAT IS REVISIONIST HISTORY AND YOU KNOW IT.
- I GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE. - I WAS THERE.
- IT'S OKAY, GUS. WHEN HE EMBELLISHES--
- LIES. - CLARIFIES.
- IT LETS ME KNOW THAT HE CARES.
BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS WHEN CAN I MEET YOUR FATHER?
- [giggles] - [clears throat]
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER IS, UH, IS COMPLICATED.
- [scoffs] - AS I BELIEVE I'VE MENTIONED.
AND I KNOW YOU-- YOU'LL WANNA GET IN THERE
AND FIX EVERYTHING.
AND NO AMOUNT OF TALKING OR LISTENING OR HUGGING
IS GOING TO FIX ANYTHING BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD.
I'M SORRY. - OKAY.
I HEAR YOU, AND I'M GOING TO STOP PRESSURING YOU.
- THANK YOU.
BESIDES, YOU ALREADY KNOW
EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT ME.
I'M REALLY QUITE A SIMPLE MAN.
- MR. SPENCER'S PRIVATE CAR IS HERE
TO TAKE HIM TO THE CLAYTON ESTATE.
- THANK YOU, MY GOOD MAN. - WE ARE READY.
- [wolf whistles]
- DINNER WILL BE SERVED SHORTLY.
- THANK YOU.
- NOTE TO SELF: BE RICH ONE DAY.
- THIS IS WHAT REAL CLASS LOOKS LIKE, SHAWN.
- YEAH, I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A MUSEUM
FILLED WITH PRICELESS ARTIFACTS.
ONLY HERE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH OR PLAY WITH ANYTHING.
BUT, UH, LET'S NOT BE BLINDED BY THE BLING, GUS.
REMEMBER, WE'RE HERE TO FULFILL MR. CLAYTON'S DYING WISH.
FIND OUT WHO IT WAS THAT MURDERED HIM.
- IF HE WAS EVEN MURDERED.
FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE WAS HALLUCINATING
WHEN HE SAID THAT.
- MAKE NO MISTAKE, GUS.
WHEN I CRADLED THE MAN'S HEAD AND HE BREATHED HIS LAST BREATH,
HE LOOKED RIGHT INTO MY EYES.
AND I AM CERTAIN HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS SAYING.
- I WAS THERE, SHAWN. YOU DIDN'T CRADLE ANYTHING.
- OH, THERE YOU ARE.
I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.
I WAS, UH, PUTTING THINGS AWAY.
SO MANY MEMORIES OF CLAY.
THAT'S WHAT I CALLED HIM.
- IS THAT AN ULTRA-HIGH MODULUS HYPER CARBON RACKET?
- THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT FROM HIM LAST YEAR.
HE EVEN SIGNED ME UP FOR TENNIS LESSONS
WITH MALAVIA.
- MALAVIA WASHINGTON?
THE ONE-TIME WIMBLEDON FINALIST?
- NO. BUT HE'S A MARVELOUS TEACHER.
I NEVER MISSED A LESSON.
- THANK YOU, MRS. CLAYTON, FOR INVITING US HERE
TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOME.
- MY PLEASURE.
WE'RE ALL VERY EAGER
TO LEARN THE CIRCUMSTANCES
BEHIND MY HUSBAND'S ACCIDENT.
OUR SON IS BESIDE HIMSELF ABOUT IT.
GARVIN, REMEMBER MOMMY TELLING YOU
ABOUT THE PSYCHIC WHO SAW WHY PAPA'S PLANE CRASHED?
- NO.
- GARVIN.
THAT'S UNUSUAL.
IT'S VERY, UH, HEATHERS. NO?
WHAT DO THEY CALL YOU? GARV?
- [chuckles] - GAR? VIN?
- I GET IT, EVEN THOUGH I WAS, LIKE, ZERO
WHEN THAT MOVIE CAME OUT.
- MAN, STOP TRYING TO LOOK COOL.
- I HAVE PEEPS, SHAWN.
- YOU HAVE TWO PEEPS.
AND ONE OF THEM'S MADE OUT OF MARSHMALLOW.
MRS. CLAYTON, YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING,
WHO IS THE GIRL IN THE FAMILY PHOTOS?
- OH, THAT'S MY DAUGHTER, NYNA.
SHE'S NO LONGER WITH US.
- OH, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
- QUIET, EVERYONE.
MR. SPENCER WILL NOW HAVE A REVELATION
REGARDING THE CAUSE OF WARREN'S CRASH.
- [muffled] WHAT-- HAVE A REVELATION?
MM. I'M NOT.
NO...
NO, NO, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THAT.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FOIE GRAS YET.
- [laughing] FOIE GRAS.
- I HAVE TO DECIPHER PSYCHIC SIGNALS.
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT I TAP INTO YOUR HUSBAND'S AURORA.
TELL ME, MRS. CLAYTON,
DOES HE HAVE A SMOKING JACKET THAT I COULD WEAR?
DOES HE HAVE DOWN SHEETS, AND IF SO,
ARE THEY HYPOALLERGENIC,
BECAUSE I WOULD HATE FOR MY SIGNALS TO GET
ALL SCRAMBLED UP WHILE I'M SLEEPING HERE
TONIGHT IN YOUR HOME.
- BASED ON YOUR EARLIER DISPLAY,
I EXPECTED IMMEDIATE RESULTS.
- [coughs] BOGUS.
[coughs] POSER.
- [coughing]
ASTHMA.
- HE'S ALLERGIC TO RICH WHITE PEOPLE.
SORRY. - YES.
- AS I WAS SAYING,
I PAY FOR RESULTS, MR. SPENCER.
MY NEW CHIN IS PROOF OF THAT.
OUR FAMILY NEEDS CLOSURE BEFORE WARREN'S WILL
IS UNSEALED THIS WEEKEND.
SINCE YOU ARE UNABLE TO DELIVER, ROSA, WOULD YOU PUT
MR. SPENCER'S FOOD IN SOME SORT OF A BAG?
WHERE SHALL I HAVE THE CAR DROP YOU OFF?
- OH, HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, EXACTLY TWO
OF MY PSYCHIC CHANNELS ARE CLEARING UP,
AND I AM GETTING SOMETHING.
- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT.
- UNFORTUNATELY, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MR. CLAYTON
AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
YOU'VE BEEN SEEING A TENNIS INSTRUCTOR
EVERY WEEK FOR THE LAST YEAR,
BUT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PLAYING TENNIS.
THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYING WITH BALLS.
I SEE A VERY... COMPROMISING IMAGE.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
- EW.
IS THAT WHY YOU PRACTICE AT NIGHT?
- THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME.
- NO WONDER YOU HAVE SO MANY SEXY TENNIS OUTFITS.
- OH WAIT, WAIT--I'M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND BE JUDGED.
AND EVEN IF I WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR, IT WOULD BE
BECAUSE WARREN AND I HAD A LOVELESS MARRIAGE,
AND NOT THROUGH ANY FAULT OF MY OWN.
- WHERE I COME FROM, WE DON'T TALK ILL OF THE DEAD.
- I'LL TALK ABOUT HIM ANY WAY I PLEASE.
IN FACT, NOT THAT I OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION,
BUT BEFORE HE DIED, THINGS HAD GOTTEN BETTER.
HE WAS TRYING TO BE THE MAN THAT--THAT I ONCE LOVED.
- ROSA.
FUNNY YOU SHOULD CHIME IN.
YOU KNOW THE CLAYTON'S PHILANDERING WAYS
BETTER THAN ANYONE, SEEING AS HOW
YOU WERE IN FACT SENOR CLAYTON'S MISTRESS.
- WHAT? - OH, YES.
THAT'S WHY YOU PRAY TO ST. DWYNWEN,
THE PATRON SAINT OF DIRTY FILTHY LOVERS IN THE NIGHTTIME.
- WHO IS THIS MAN? MAKE ME MAKE HIM LEAVE.
- YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH MY HUSBAND?
HOW DARE YOU!
- [scoffs] YOU'RE NO BETTER, PUTA.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
YOU PUSHED HIM AWAY AND HE TOOK IT OUT ON ME.
TAKING AWAY MY PORSCHE, MAKING ME GET A JOB,
SELLING MY TIGER. - OH--
- AND I HATED YOU BOTH.
- YOU BLAME EVERYBODY FOR YOUR PATHETIC--
- THIS FAMILY IS CRAZY AS HELL.
- NOW WE SEE WHY WARREN CLAYTON THOUGHT HE WAS MURDERED.
- AS YOU CAN SEE, LIKE MOST FAMILIES,
WE HAVE OUR ISSUES.
NOW THAT YOU ARE PRIVY TO THEM,
I EXPECT YOU TO HANDLE THIS WITH DISCRETION.
WE DO HAVE A PUBLIC IMAGE TO PROTECT.
- I'M AFRAID THAT'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT.
ESPECIALLY ONCE I PROVE THAT IT WAS ONE OF YOU THREE
WHO KILLED WARREN CLAYTON.
- IS THAT SO?
[Shawn and Gus panting]
[dogs barking and snarling]
- AND HOW IS MY FAVORITE POLICE DEPARTMENT DOING TODAY?
LASSIE, LOOKING HANDSOME AND JANGLY.
CHIEF--AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T SAY THIS NEARLY ENOUGH--
YOU HAVE EXQUISITE TEETH.
- MR. SPENCER, YOU KNOW, THE LAST I'D HEARD
IS THAT YOU'D TAKEN AN ASSIGNMENT THAT PROVIDED YOU
WITH MORE FRINGE BENEFITS THAN WHAT WE COULD GIVE YOU.
- YES, WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, MRS. CLAYTON AND I
WERE UNABLE TO SEE EYE TO EYE.
- IN OTHER WORDS, YOU GOT FIRED.
- OR MAYBE I WAS GETTING TOO CLOSE.
- OR MAYBE YOU WERE ACTING LIKE AN OBNOXIOUS LITTLE TWERP.
- I'M STICKING WITH GETTING TOO CLOSE.
THOUGH IT IS NICE TO HEAR THE WORD "TWERP"
HAS SURVIVED THE MILLENNIUM.
TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, CHIEF.
THERE IS MORE TO WARREN CLAYTON'S PLANE CRASH
THAN MEETS THE EYE.
- FUNNY, THE, UH, NTSB'S PRELIMINARY REPORT
INDICATES THAT IT WAS AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT
DUE TO PILOT ERROR.
OH, THE BLACK BOX SHOWS
THAT HE WAS COMING INTO SANTA BARBARA
AND DESCENDED TOO RAPIDLY.
- TRUST REQUIRES EVIDENCE, MR. SPENCER.
- I'M GETTING DISTINCT VISIONS.
FAMILY SECRETS.
A LARGE SKELETON IN A CLOSET.
WARREN CLAYTON WAS TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS, CHIEF.
BUT HE WAS BEING MET
WITH INFIDELITIES AND BACKBITING.
AND FRONT BITING.
AND JEALOUSIES.
- OKAY, I SUPPOSE IT COULDN'T HURT
TO CHECK TO SEE IF THERE ARE ANY SIGNS OF A COVER-UP,
JUST IN CASE THERE'S ANYTHING TO HIS PREMONITION.
- CHIEF, COME ON.
YES, MA'AM.
- AND YOU BETTER COME UP WITH SOMETHING SOON, MR. SPENCER,
OR THIS WILL BE THE SECOND TIME
THAT YOU'RE FIRED FROM THE SAME CASE.
- I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE LEAP.
WHAT TIME SHOULD I EXPECT THE CAR?
YOU THINK YOU GUYS COULD SPRING FOR A CASE OF RED VINES?
NO. OKAY.
[elegant violin music]
*
- THIS IS HOW I SHOULD BE LIVING BY NOW, SHAWN.
WHERE DID I GO WRONG?
- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, GUS,
BUT I WAS BORN INTO THE WRONG FAMILY.
IF I BELONGED TO A CLUB LIKE THIS,
I'D HAVE TO CANCEL MY MEMBERSHIP
ON ACCOUNT OF THEM LETTING IN THE LIKES OF ME.
AND IF YOU VOTED FOR ME,
WELL, I'M AFRAID YOU DON'T BELONG IN MY CLUB EITHER.
- THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.
NEITHER DOES "THOO," BUT IT IS A WORD.
- NO, IT'S NOT.
THERE'S SIMPLY NO WAY TO BE SURE.
MY POINT IS THIS:
NO MATTER HOW GLAMOROUS
THEIR LIVES LOOK FROM THE OUTSIDE,
THESE ARE NOT OUR KIND OF PEOPLE.
- WILL YOU STOP IT?
- TAKE MR. CLAYTON, FOR EXAMPLE.
HE WAS THE PATRIARCH OF HIS FAMILY,
YET WHERE WERE THEY
WHEN THE LIFE WAS DRAINING OUT OF HIS BODY
AND THAT SWEET CHARIOT HAD SWUNG LOW TO CARRY HIM HOME?
OUT PHILANDERING AND SOCIAL CLIMBING, I SUSPECT.
MEANWHILE, WHERE WAS I?
I WAS RIGHT THERE BESIDE HIM.
LIKE A TRUE FRIEND. - STOP IT.
- I SEE THE TWO OF YOU DON'T GIVE UP EASILY.
- MRS. CLAYTON.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THIS IS NOW
AN OFFICIAL POLICE INVESTIGATION.
WE'VE BEEN GRANTED FULL ACCESS,
AND IF YOUR FAMILY'S HIDING ANYTHING ELSE,
WE WILL FIND IT.
- WE DON'T HIDE ANYTHING EXCEPT LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY,
ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN, AND, UH,
THE FACT THAT WE'RE JEWISH.
WE MAY HAVE A LOT OF SECRETS,
BUT KILLING CLAY ISN'T ONE OF THEM.
THE DOOR.
- [sighs]
- THE DOOR.
- OH, RIGHT, YES. THE DOOR.
I FORGOT THAT'S A THING WITH YOU.
- GOOD LUCK GETTING ANYONE HERE TO TALK TO YOU.
[titters]
- SHE'S RIGHT, SHAWN.
HOW ARE WE GONNA GET PEOPLE TO TALK TO US?
LET ME GUESS.
YOU'VE GOT A LOOSELY FORMED IDEA
THAT SHOULDN'T WORK ON PAPER,
BUT ULTIMATELY PROVES TO BE REASONABLY SUCCESSFUL?
- SO, HOW LONG THE TWO OF YOU BEEN MEMBERS?
- OH...
- THIS HERE IS JUST A TRIAL MEMBERSHIP.
WE ONLY BELONG TO THE MOST EXCLUSIVE CLUBS.
- WELL, I HAD NO IDEA PSYCHICS DID SO WELL.
- MOST DON'T. - SOME DO.
- MANY TRY. - FEW CAN.
- I HAVE. - SINCE WE'VE BEEN HERE,
EVERYONE'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT WARREN CLAYTON.
- YEAH. - YEAH, IT'S HEARTBREAKING.
PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
COME ON.
- HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST HEDGE FUND MANAGERS AROUND.
ONE OF THE ONLY GUYS SHOWING A POSITIVE RETURN
IN THIS RECESSION.
WHICH IS WHY WE PUT UP WITH SOME OF HIS MORE ECCENTRIC BEHAVIOR.
- TO A POINT.
[all laughing]
- LET'S KEEP THINGS INTERESTING.
$1,000 A HOLE?
- SURE, WHY NOT.
- WOW, YOU GUYS, UH, BET LIKE THIS OFTEN?
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
SOMETIMES WE ACTUALLY PLAY FOR HIGH STAKES.
- I'M ACTUALLY GETTING A READING
ON BOTH OF YOU GENTLEMEN RIGHT NOW.
- HEH. SORRY, KID.
I KNOW IT'S YOUR THING,
BUT I DON'T GO FOR THAT PSYCHIC MUMBO-JUMBO.
- WHAT I'M SEEING IS THAT SOMETIMES YOU PLAY
FOR OBSCENELY HIGH STAKES.
LIKE THE PRIVATE PLANE
THAT WARREN CLAYTON CRASHED AND DIED IN.
- ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
I LOST THE JET TO CLAYTON
IN A SKINS MATCH A COUPLE MONTHS AGO.
- NOW, THAT MUST HAVE MADE YOU PRETTY MAD.
- SURE.
BUT BEFORE ANYBODY GOES AND GETS THE WRONG IDEA,
I WAS IN EUROPE WHEN WARREN'S PLANE CRASHED.
LIKE I TOLD THE COPS, LAST TIME I SPOKE TO WARREN,
HE WAS PLANNING ON USING THE PLANE
TO TRAVEL MORE WITH HIS FAMILY.
HE EVEN GOT A PRIVATE HANGAR
DOWN AT THE AIRPORT FOR THEM TO USE.
- THAT MEANS EVERYONE IN HIS FAMILY
HAD ACCESS TO THAT PLANE.
- MM-HMM.
- THIS IS WHAT I FIGURE.
I FIGURE SOMEONE IN WARREN CLAYTON'S FAMILY
GOT TO THAT PLANE AND SABOTAGED IT
BEFORE HE TOOK OFF.
WHICH MEANS WE HAVE TO GET DOWN TO THAT PRIVATE HANGAR
AND LOOK AROUND.
LET'S GO. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD CHECK IN WITH ABIGAIL FIRST?
- WHY WOULD I CHECK IN? I'M NOT ON PAROLE.
- YOU TOLD HER YOU'D CALL.
LOOK, YOU CAN'T BE YOUR USUAL LACKADAISICAL SELF
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
ABIGAIL IS THE KIND OF GIRL
THAT NEEDS A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF EFFORT.
"RELATIONSHIP SHAWN" NEEDS TO STEP UP HIS GAME.
- OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, THERE IS NO "RELATIONSHIP SHAWN"
OR "BOYFRIEND SHAWN."
THERE'S JUST REGULAR SHAWN AND MALIBU SHAWN.
YOU KNOW THAT.
BESIDES, I WAS JUST WITH HER THIS MORNING.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO CHECK IN ABOUT?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
- I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT MAKES SENSE.
I'M TALKING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS STUFF?
- A PLAYER ALWAYS KNOWS, SHAWN.
- PLEASE.
MAN, HOLD ON. - FINE.
- [sighs]
- SHAWN. - HEY, ABS.
- THIS IS A SURPRISE. WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- NO, NOTHING-- NOTHING'S WRONG.
I'M JUST, UH, I'M JUST CALLING TO CHECK IN.
- COFFEE'S READY. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HOLD ON.
WAS THAT-- WAS THAT MY DAD'S VOICE?
- I'M AT YOUR DAD'S.
- I THOUGHT WE AGREED. NO PRESSURE.
- WELL, YES, I SAID I WOULDN'T PRESSURE YOU.
SO I SET IT UP MYSELF.
AND IT'S BEEN VERY INTERESTING, TO SAY THE LEAST.
- WHAT DID HE DO? DID HE FIRE A WEAPON?
OR--TELL ME HE DIDN'T BAIT A HOOK.
- HE'S BEEN A LOT OF FUN.
- HEY ABIGAIL, YOU WANNA SEE HOW FAR I CAN SPIT?
- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M COMING OVER.
I'M COMING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW.
- NO, NO, NO. NO NEED.
WE'RE-- WE'RE JUST WRAPPING UP.
BUT WE'RE MAKING PLANS FOR THE THREE OF US
TO HAVE DINNER SOMETIME SOON.
- GREAT. THAT'S--THAT'S GREAT.
I CAN'T-- I CAN'T WAIT.
I GOTTA GO. BYE.
MAN, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME TO CHECK IN SOONER?
- PLEASE, SHAWN.
- IF SOMEONE ASKS US WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE,
WHAT ARE WE GONNA SAY?
THIS IS AN AIRPORT, SHAWN.
WE CAN'T SNIFF AROUND THE WAY WE USUALLY DO.
I DON'T WANT TO END UP IN GUANTANAMO.
- GUS, DON'T BE PRINCIPAL AND INTEREST.
I ALREADY HAVE A BRILLIANT COVER PLAN.
HELLO, SIR.
WE ARE HERE FOR OUR 2:00 APPOINTMENT.
- IS ONE OF YOU GUYS GUS?
- APPOINTMENT FOR WHAT?
- IT'S A FLIGHT LESSON.
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
- JUST GO WITH IT.
DISTRACT HIM WHILE I TAKE A SNIFF AROUND.
- WHO MADE THE RULE THAT I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE
THE DISTRACTION?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
- I'LL KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT.
OOH.
IT'S NOT THAT PEBBLE.
WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED, I'LL NEED YOU TO TEACH ME
EVERYTHING YOU'VE LEARNED ABOUT HOW A PLANE WORKS.
DON'T WORRY.
FLYING IS JUST LIKE DRIVING A CAR.
- IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL.
- YOU SEE THAT? YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
- OKAY, I NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS WAIVER.
HERE, HERE, HERE.
HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, AND HERE.
- SHAWN.
- ALSO A COPY OF YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE
AND INSURANCE...
- DUDE, THIS IS SWEET.
I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU AFTER YOU LAND.
- I'M READY FOR MY LESSON NOW.
- YOU ALREADY HAD IT, PAL. WE JUST LANDED.
- I'M READY FOR MY LESSON NOW.
- [sighs] LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO REFUEL A TWIN-ENGINE PLANE?
- 20 MINUTES, HALF-HOUR.
- THANKS.
HEY, BUDDY.
NOBODY HAD ACCESS TO THE NEW PLANE BUT CLAYTON.
AND HERE'S A NEW WRINKLE IN THE CASE:
GUESS WHICH DEAD BILLIONAIRE TOOK A FOUR-HOUR STOP
THAT WASN'T IN THE OFFICIAL FLIGHT LOG?
SO WHY WOULD CLAYTON SPEND FOUR HOURS
IN BAKERSFIELD?
- I'M READY FOR MY LESSON NOW.
- YEAH, YOU ARE.
AND WHAT TIME DID YOU PICK HIM UP?
THANK YOU, WAYNE. YOU'VE BEEN VERY HELPFUL.
ALL RIGHT.
AFTER CALLING EVERY SINGLE CAR SERVICE
IN BAKERSFIELD-- - TWO.
- I FOUND THE ONE THAT TOOK WARREN CLAYTON
TO THE AIRPORT.
- SO YOUR HUNCH WAS RIGHT.
HE WENT SOMEPLACE ELSE WHILE HE WAS THERE.
- YEAH, YEAH. GUS, NOTE TO SELF.
REMEMBER 1600 JOSHUA LANE.
- YOU CAN'T GIVE ME YOUR NOTE TO SELF.
IT'S A NOTE TO YOURSELF.
- FAIR ENOUGH.
AT THAT MOMENT, SHAWN FOUND HIMSELF ALONE,
UNABLE TO FACE THE JOURNEY AHEAD.
- YOU CAN'T DO YOUR OWN OMNISCIENT NARRATION EITHER.
- LET'S SEE WHAT'S AT 1313 MOCKINGBIRD LANE.
- THAT'S THE MUNSTERS' HOUSE.
IT WAS 1600 JOSHUA LANE.
- THANKS, NOTE TO SELF.
THANKS, JULES.
SO JULIET TRACED THE ADDRESS
TO AN ENVIRONMENTAL WATCHDOG AGENCY.
IT'S A NONPROFIT RUN BY A MRS. THOMAS.
- HOW'S THAT LEGISLATION ON THE EMISSIONS CREDITS
COMING ALONG?
- WHY WOULD CLAYTON COME HERE?
- MRS. THOMAS?
- MAY I HELP YOU?
- I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
MY NAME IS SHAWN SPENCER.
THIS IS MY ASSOCIATE, JAZZ HANDS.
DOES THE NAME WARREN CLAYTON MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
- COME WITH ME.
- WE'RE INVESTIGATING THE CIRCUMSTANCES
SURROUNDING MR. CLAYTON'S DEATH.
WE BELIEVE HE MAY HAVE BEEN MURDERED.
- WOW, THAT'S KARMA FOR YOU.
YOU GUYS BELIEVE IN KARMA, DON'T YOU?
- YES, WE DO.
BUT ONLY BECAUSE WE ARE KARMA CHAMELEONS.
- WE COME AND GO.
- MY PSYCHIC SENSORS LED ME HERE.
AND I AM GETTING TRACES OF WARREN'S META-ESSENCE.
HERE. THERE.
AND, SOMEWHAT SHOCKINGLY, RIGHT THERE.
- WELL, THAT'S UNCANNY.
IF ONLY YOU WERE AS ATTUNED TO ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES.
- OH, SORRY.
I-I ALWAYS FORGET WHICH ONE IS MINE,
SO I JUST OPEN A NEW ONE.
PLUS, I LIKE THE LITTLE CLICKY-CLACK SOUND
IT MAKES WHEN YOU...
OH, THAT ONE DIDN'T DO IT. HOLD ON.
- YES, WARREN DID COME VISIT ME.
WE TALKED BUSINESS FOR A FEW HOURS, AND THEN HE LEFT.
LATER I SAW ON THE NEWS THAT HE WAS DEAD.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
- YOU TALKED BUSINESS?
HE DIDN'T SEEM LIKE THE ENVIRONMENTAL TYPE.
- HE WASN'T.
THIS COMPANY'S BEEN AT ODDS WITH HIM
EVER SINCE MY HUSBAND AND I STARTED IT.
- WHOA, HE MUST BE SEVEN FEET TALL.
- UH, THAT'S A MASAI TRIBESMAN.
CHARLES IS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.
- SHAWN, YOU'RE WASTING PAPER.
- SHH. RAIN DANCE.
- SERIOUSLY, DO YOU MIND?
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT A MAN
WITH A LARGE CARBON FOOTPRINT?
- PLEASE IGNORE HIM.
SO WHY DID MR. CLAYTON COME SEE YOU?
- HE WANTED MY ENDORSEMENT IN A BUSINESS MOVE
THAT, WELL, LET'S JUST SAY I DIDN'T APPROVE OF.
WHEN I REFUSED, THINGS GOT PRETTY HEATED.
BUT I'M USED TO CLAY'S TEMPER.
- SO MANY MEMORIES OF CLAY.
THAT'S WHAT I CALLED HIM.
- SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
I'M, UH, I'M CHARLES.
- AND I'M SHAWN SPENCER, AND THIS IS--
- CHARLES, DON'T FORGET TO SCHEDULE THAT LUNCH
WITH COUNCILMAN PRATHER.
- SURE THING.
NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS.
- SAME HERE.
- I THINK YOU SHOULD'VE STUCK WITH THE MASAI GUY.
- SHAWN. - WHAT?
THEY WOULD'VE HAD SWEET CARAMEL BABIES WITH 30-INCH VERTICALS.
- I'M SORRY. WE HAVE TO GO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
- [sighs]
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
HAPPY?
- YOU CAN'T RECYCLE FOOD, SHAWN.
- HOW MANY RULES ARE THERE?
- PRETTY MUCH JUST THAT ONE.
- [sighs]
HMM, NOW I KIND OF WANT TO EAT IT.
LET'S GO.
DUDE, THERE'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING SHE'S NOT TELLING US.
- DID YOU SEE HOW QUICKLY SHE CHANGED THE SUBJECT
WHEN HER HUSBAND CAME AROUND?
- YEAH, PLUS SHE SLIPPED AND CALLED WARREN "CLAY,"
WHICH IS WHAT HIS WIFE CALLED HIM.
- SOUNDS LIKE MRS. THOMAS IS MORE
THAN JUST A BUSINESS ACQUAINTANCE.
- SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S ANOTHER FILTHY MISTRESS.
AND SHE FITS WARREN'S TYPE.
SHE'S ALL HEADSTRONG, HOT IN A...
FEMALE D.A. OR DETECTIVE ON LAW & ORDER SORT OF WAY.
- LIKE MILENA GOVICH? - YEAH, LIKE A--
LIKE AN ANGIE HARMON.
- LIKE MARISKA HARGITAY? - EXACTLY.
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THE MEETING GOT ALL HEATED.
- IN FACT, BEFORE HE DIED,
HE TRIED TO BE THE MAN THAT I ONCE LOVED.
- KATIE ERBE?
- DUDE.
I THINK WARREN WAS TRYING TO RECONCILE WITH HIS WIFE.
AND I BET MS. GREEN JEANS IN THERE
WASN'T TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT.
- SOUNDS LIKE MOTIVE.
- WE GOTTA GET LASSIE ON THIS.
- WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE.
- TAKE YOUR TIME READING IT, OKAY?
BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO BE...
- [imitates gunfire] - ARE THE POLICE STILL WASTING
VALUABLE TIME ON YOUR LITTLE THEORY
THAT ONE OF US IS A MURDERER?
- UH, YES. ABOUT THAT.
I DID GET A FEW OF MY PSYCHIC SIGNALS CROSSED.
BUT WHAT IS NOT IMPORTANT, MRS. CLAYTON,
IS WHO ACCUSED WHO OF "PARTRICIDE."
- YOU MEAN PATRICIDE.
- WHAT'S "PARTRICIDE"? - KILLING A PARTRIDGE.
- IT'S A VICTIMLESS CRIME. - NO IT'S NOT, SHAWN.
- WHO'S THE VICTIM? - THE PARTRIDGE.
- HERE'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT, MRS. CLAYTON.
I HAVE IDENTIFIED THE CULPRIT
RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HUSBAND'S UNTIMELY DEATH.
YOUR FAMILY IS OFF THE HOOK.
- FINALLY. SO WHO IS IT?
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ATROCITY?
- ANOTHER GOLD-DIGGING, YET FAR LESS EXOTIC MISTRESS.
- MR. SPENCER'S THEORY WAS CONFIRMED
WHEN WE FOUND OUT YOUR HUSBAND
HAD RECENTLY MADE CHANGES TO HIS WILL.
all: WHAT?
- UPON HIS DEATH, THE BULK OF HIS ESTATE
IS NOW GOING TO THE GREAT GREEN HOPE.
- PLUS FORENSICS CONFIRMED THAT THE PLANE'S ALTIMETER
WAS TAMPERED WITH, AND OUR SUSPECT HAD HER PILOT'S LICENSE,
WHICH MEANS SHE KNEW ENOUGH TO SABOTAGE THE CONTROLS.
IT'S ENOUGH FOR A WARRANT.
- OH, THANK GOD.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
I'M GLAD MY INITIAL INSTINCT ABOUT YOU
WAS CORRECT, MR. SPENCER.
- THERE'S OUR SUSPECT. LET'S GO, O'HARA.
STOP RIGHT THERE. HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK.
- WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?
- CAN'T BELIEVE SHE ACTUALLY SHOWED UP AT THE WILL READING.
- WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?
- MY DAUGHTER? - MY SISTER?
- WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
- NYNA THOMAS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
- LET'S GO.
- THAT'S MY DAUGHTER, NYNA.
SHE'S NO LONGER WITH US.
- NYNA?
[dogs barking]
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THINK I WOULD KILL MY OWN FATHER.
- IN MY DEFENSE, I INITIALLY THOUGHT
YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH HIM.
HOW PUMPED ARE YOU THAT I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT?
BUT YOU CALLED HIM "CLAY" INSTEAD OF "DAD"
OR "FATHER."
- I STOPPED CALLING HIM "DAD" YEARS AGO
WHEN I DENOUNCED OUR WAY OF LIFE.
- OKAY, THEN WHY WERE YOU SO UNCOMFORTABLE
WHEN YOUR HUSBAND CAME INTO THE ROOM?
- BECAUSE I TRY TO KEEP MY PAST FROM INTERFERING
WITH MY NEW LIFE WITH CHARLES.
- THEN WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT THIS IS COMPLETELY YOUR FAULT.
- WHEN WARREN CAME TO VISIT ME,
TO TELL ME SOME STORY ABOUT HOW HE'D CHANGED
AND HE WANTED TO RECONCILE,
I PROMPTLY TOLD HIM TO KISS OFF
AND KEEP HIS DIRTY MONEY.
BUT NOW THAT HE'S DEAD, I CAN'T HELP BUT WISH
I'D GIVEN HIM A SECOND CHANCE.
- LISTEN, NYNA'S A SAINT.
AND THAT'S WHY SHE DIDN'T MENTION THE MONEY AT FIRST.
- WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU FAILED TO MENTION, NYNA?
- WELL, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT AT THE TIME,
BUT NOW I REALIZE THAT IT MIGHT BE.
I OVERHEARD MY DAD ARGUING WITH ONE OF HIS GOLF BUDDIES.
SOMETHING ABOUT A PROBLEM WITH ONE OF HIS INVESTMENTS.
- GOLF BUDDIES?
- SO, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU BOYS?
- MR. WISWALL,
YOU TOLD US THAT YOU HADN'T SPOKEN
TO WARREN CLAYTON FOR MONTHS.
THEN I HAD A VISION OF AN ARGUMENT.
SOMETHING ABOUT INVESTMENTS, RETURNS.
CAPITAL...GAINS.
THAT'S A-- THAT'S A THING, RIGHT?
- YES.
- WOW, NO FLIES ON YOU.
- I'M AFRAID THAT'S ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.
YOU SEE, I'M ALSO SEEING--
- WAIT, WAIT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
LET ME JUST SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT.
JUST BEFORE WARREN DIED, I CALLED HIM, LIVID,
ABOUT MONEY MISSING FROM MY ACCOUNT.
HE THEN CONFESSED TO ME
THAT HIS BILLION-DOLLAR HEDGE FUND
WAS A GIANT PONZI SCHEME.
- STOP RIGHT THERE.
I SIMPLY REFUSE TO BELIEVE
THAT HENRY WINKLER HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
- WAIT A SECOND.
IF THAT WERE THE CASE AND THE S.E.C. EVER FOUND OUT,
THAT WOULD MEAN CLAYTON WOULD BE ON THE HOOK
FOR HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
AND HIS INVESTORS WOULD BE LEFT WITH NOTHING.
INCLUDING YOURSELF.
- HE'D ALREADY LOST ALL MY MONEY.
I HAD TO SELL MY HOUSE, LIQUIDATE ALL MY ASSETS.
CHRIST, I'M LIVING IN A HOTEL.
NO ONE KNOWS, BECAUSE I'VE JUST BEEN KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
AROUND THE CLUB.
- PLEASE, CONTINUE.
- I WAS DETERMINED
TO GET MY MONEY BACK ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,
SO I CALLED CLAYTON THE NIGHT BEFORE HE DIED.
I ASKED HIM TO AT LEAST RETURN THE PLANE.
THEN I COULD SELL IT FOR $5 MILLION OR SO.
THE BASTARD WOULDN'T EVEN AGREE TO THAT.
NOT EVEN WHEN I THREATENED
TO MAKE AN ANONYMOUS TIP TO THE S.E.C.
- WHO ELSE KNOWS ABOUT THIS ALLEGED FONZIE SCHEME?
- UH, NO ONE THAT I KNOW OF.
I KEPT ALL THE FALSIFIED DOCUMENTS.
BOXES FULL.
JUST IN CASE I NEEDED PROOF.
- I'M SENSING YOU WON'T HAVE TO HOLD ONTO THEM
FOR MUCH LONGER.
- HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.
- NO PROBLEM.
ABBY AND I WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT MY TIME
AS A DETECTIVE.
- I'M ACTUALLY SURPRISED
THAT YOU NEVER APPLIED TO THE ACADEMY,
ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU'RE KIND OF DOING THE SAME THING.
- YEAH, WE DON'T REALLY NEED TO GET INTO THAT, DO WE, DAD?
- I TRAINED HIM TO BE A REAL DETECTIVE.
HE WANTED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ASS-WIPE INSTEAD.
- WELL, DAD, THE WIPE DOESN'T FALL VERY FAR FROM THE ASS.
TREE.
AND IT USED TO BOTHER ME
WHEN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.
BUT NOT ANYMORE. YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE I DISCOVERED THAT NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE
OR WHAT FAMILY YOU COME FROM,
FATHERS AND THEIR CHILDREN RARELY SEE EYE TO EYE.
- YOU KNOW, SHAWN, I THINK THAT YOU AND YOUR FATHER
WOULD COMMUNICATE BETTER IF YOU--
- TRAP-CAUGHT PRAWNS. SOUNDS SAD.
- RIGHT, NO FIXING. - NO, NO, NO.
I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR ABBY'S PERSPECTIVE ON ALL THIS.
- OKAY. SWEETHEART?
- OKAY, SHAWN.
I THINK YOUR FATHER WOULD BE ABLE
TO BETTER RESPECT YOUR DECISIONS
IF THE TWO OF YOU WERE ABLE TO SHARE MORE OF YOUR EMOTIONS.
- MM. YEAH, WELL, HE'S NOT REALLY THE SHARING TYPE.
- IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
- REALLY, YOU'RE GONNA PRETEND
LIKE YOU'VE HAD AN EMOTION
SINCE WALKER, TEXAS RANGER GOT CANCELED?
- SHAWN, AT LEAST I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY.
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.
YOU'VE BEEN IN A HORRIBLE, FIERY PLANE CRASH.
YOU'RE CLINGING TO LIFE.
ALL OF YOUR ORGANS ON THE INSIDE--
PFFT. PANCAKED.
YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO LIVE.
WHAT MESSAGE DO YOU WANT TO GET TO ME,
YOUR ONLY SON, BEFORE YOU DIE?
- SHAWN, I'M NOT GONNA-- - GO.
- I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER THAT. - SEE WHAT I MEAN?
- WELL, IT'S A LITTLE HARSH TO TALK ABOUT HIM
BEING IN A HORRIBLE CRASH.
- YOU SEE? WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
- [sighs] EXCUSE ME.
- OH, PERFECT TIMING.
TEXT FROM GUS. MAJOR BREAK IN OUR CASE.
- I HAVE TO GO.
DEAR ABBY, DR. PHIL, ENJOY.
- DR. PHIL IS BALD.
DOESN'T EVEN FIT.
- YOU'RE NOT BALD, YOU'RE JUST TALLER THAN YOUR HAIR.
- GUSTER, YOU'D BETTER NOT BE WASTING OUR TIME.
- YEAH, THE CASE AGAINST NYNA IS REALLY STRONG.
- LASSITER, JULIET, PREPARE YOURSELVES.
I'M ABOUT TO BUST OPEN A BRAND-NEW ANGLE ON THIS CASE,
INCLUDING BRAND-NEW MOTIFS.
- MOTIVES. - LIKE FRAUD. EMBEZZLING-MENT.
AND SUB-PRIME TIME TOXIC ASSETS.
THAT'S A THING, RIGHT? - YOU ARE A CHILD.
- DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.
- HE'S DEAD.
- MAN, WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?
- WE HAVE TO START CHECKING FIRST.
- YEAH.
- POSSIBLE HOMICIDE DOWN AT CARLYLE HOTEL.
- WHAT'S A PROSPECTUS?
- INVESTMENT RECORDS.
THAT MUST BE THE REGISTRATION NUMBER
FOR WARREN CLAYTON'S HEDGE FUND.
WHOEVER KILLED WISWALL MUST HAVE TAKEN THE EVIDENCE WITH THEM.
- GOOD NEWS.
I THINK I KNOW WHERE THEY'RE GOING NEXT.
[funereal organ music]
- THEY'RE PROBABLY ONLY HERE FOR THE PHOTO OPS.
IT'S TYPICAL.
- DEARLY BELOVED...
- I THINK MR. CLAYTON WOULD'VE WANTED ME TO SPREAD HIS REMAINS.
- OKAY, SHAWN, THAT'S ENOUGH.
YOU ONLY SPOKE TO HIM FOR, LIKE, 30 SECONDS.
HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.
- WE WERE BEYOND NAMES.
- IF ANYONE CLOSE TO WARREN CLAYTON
WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS?
- WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE--
- WARREN CLAYTON IS COMMUNICATING WITH ME.
- TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY HUSBAND!
- FROM IN HERE.
DUST IN THE WIND.
[guests gasping]
- ALL WE ARE IS DUST IN...
[blows out]
- SHAWN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- YOU KILLED WARREN CLAYTON.
[guests gasping]
- THAT'S CRAZY. - IS IT?
MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO ME.
NYNA WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH HER FATHER'S MONEY.
YOU DID.
- I KNOW WHAT NYNA SAID.
AND I'M BEGGING YOU TO RECONSIDER.
WE COULD DO SO MUCH WITH THAT MONEY.
- WARREN REFUSED TO RECONSIDER.
HE WAS GONNA CHANGE HIS WILL BACK TO ITS ORIGINAL FORM
WHEN HE RETURNED HOME THE NEXT DAY.
THAT IS PRECISELY WHEN YOU SET YOUR DASTARDLY PLAN INTO EFFECT.
LIKE YOUR WIFE,
AND APPARENTLY EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS FAMILY,
YOU HAVE EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF AIRCRAFT-ERY.
[winces]
I CAN SEE THE ALTI-METER
IN THE WRECKAGE OF WARREN'S PLANE.
ALTI-METER?
- ALTIMETER.
AND THE ELEVATION IS OFF BY 1,200 FEET.
THIS MEANS IT WAS TAMPERED WITH.
[all gasping]
YOU CAUSED THE CRASH.
AND SO WARREN CLAYTON DIED,
BEFORE HE COULD TAKE YOUR NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION
OUT OF HIS WILL.
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE CLEAR.
UNTIL...
GARVIN. - WHAT?
- COME ON, DUDE.
- YEAH, I GET IT. IT WAS THAT GUY.
- UNTIL YOU HEARD ABOUT
WARREN'S ARGUMENT WITH HIS GOLF BUDDY, CHAD WISWALL.
KNOWING THAT WISWALL WAS GOING TO BLOW THE WHISTLE
ON THE PONZI SCHEME,
THUS FREEZING MR. CLAYTON'S ASSETS,
YOU WENT AHEAD AND CLUBBED HIM TOO.
[all gasping]
- THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
NYNA, TELL HIM.
- IS THAT WHY YOU DISAPPEARED FOR HOURS AFTER MY FATHER LEFT?
AND WHY YOU WERE SHREDDING PAPER LAST NIGHT?
- SWEETIE.
YOU DESERVED THE MONEY. WE DESERVED IT.
WE COULD'VE DONE SO MUCH GOOD-- - [slap]
- OFFICER, HOLD THIS MAN UNTIL DETECTIVES LASSITER
AND O'HARA ARRIVE ON THE SCENE.
HERE, TAKE THIS. MY WORK IS DONE.
[clears throat]
[polite applause] - PLEASE.
NO. NO, NO, NO.
NO NEED TO THANK ME.
- THAT'S NOT FOR YOU.
- THIS IS STILL A FUNERAL, SON.
- OF COURSE.
- GOOD JOB. - THANKS.
[coughs]
I THINK I BREATHED IN SOME DEAD GUY.
- OH, HEY, SHAWN. COME ON IN.
HAVE A SEAT. JUST WATCHING THE GAME.
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
LET ME BE THE FIRST TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR.
CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT WE'VE NEVER TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER,
I'M WILLING TO ADMIT THAT OUR FAMILY
IS NOT AS MESSED UP AS I THOUGHT WE WERE.
- ALL RIGHT, VERY COOL.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
AND YOU KNOW, YOU ASKED ME THAT QUESTION AT DINNER
THE OTHER NIGHT, THE ONE ABOUT
IF I ONLY HAD 15 SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE.
WELL, I'VE GOT AN ANSWER FOR YOU.
- I'D WANT TO TELL YOU THAT, UH--
WELL, I'D DO MY BEST TO EXPRESS--
LOOK, WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW--
WAIT, WAIT-- - THAT'S IT, POP. YOU'RE DEAD.
I'M CLOSING YOUR EYELIDS.
I'M TAKING OFF YOUR WATCH,
PUTTING THAT THING ON CRAIGSLIST.
- JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE YOU.