I'm Wayne Malloy. My family and I are Travellers.
Our kind has been living in this country for 150 years.
We're not listed in the phone book. We don't have Social Security numbers.
We live off the grid.
Some call us gypsies. Others call us thieves.
- Cael! - Most, though, don't even know we exist.
I've got three kids: a boy, a girl and, um--
My wife, Dahlia, is just out of jail on parole.
We took her home to the Traveller camp.
The family gave her a warm welcome.
- Oh. - I, on the other hand, got a different type of welcome.
I am the new boss. He is the old boss.
- [ Bell Ringing ] - Get over it.
[ Wayne Narrating ] Sometimes it takes a beating to make you realize it's time to move on.
So where are we gonna go?
Life's a river, kid. You gotta go where it takes you.
[ Wayne Narrating ] So, with a loan from the family bank,
I packed up the R.V. and went out in search of something better.
- [ Linda ] Wayne, you hear me? - Shit!
[ Wayne Narrating ] It wasn't that long before the family tried to stop us.
You're in the wrong lane, asshole! Mick! Look out!
[ Wayne Narrating ] Unfortunately, they stopped someone else instead.
And then they ran.
[ Dahlia ] She's breathing!
[ Wayne Narrating ] Knowing that we couldn't go back to our old home,
we decided to visit their new home, Edenfalls, as the Riches.
[ Dahlia ] Now, who buys a house on the Internet?
Come and meet our new neighbors.
Doug, meet Hugh Panetta, biggest asshole east of the Mississippi.
[ Chuckles ] You flatter me, Jim.
Dougie was looking for work...
as a lawyer, and you've got a lunch interview today.
A good lawyer makes you believe the truth.
- Doug. - A great lawyer makes you believe the lie.
- [ Clicks ] - Oh!
You're a sick mother, Doug, and I like that in a liar.
[ Wayne Narrating ] I've taken many things in my life,
but I'm on my way to taking something I never thought possible.
[ Wayne's Voice ] The American dream. We're gonna steal it.
[ Wayne Narrating ] Will the past ever catch up with us?
- [ Cell Phone Buzzing ] - I don't know.
[ Woman ] Doug? I know you're there.
Don't you hang up on me, Doug.
[ Wayne Narrating ] But I'll be damned if I go down without a fight.
[ Di Di ] Dad, do we really have to do this?
Why can't we just crank the blue plate special like we always do?
Blue plate special has its flaws.
Dad's right, honey. Funny chits and phony slangs only get you so far.
Come on, cupcake. Get out of the car. I am not goin'!
[ Di Di ] Yes, you are, Cael. I'm not-- I don't want-- I don't want a damn number!
Get out. No one's gonna own you, honey. Come here.
Dad, I don't wanna be a number either.
Nobody is going to be a number.
Sammy, take those shoes off.
Come on.
But I like the shoes.
We're not a family of shoe-wearers.
We are a family of missionaries.
Missionaries?
We've been spreadin' the good word, ma'am. Here's our paperwork.
What country are these birth certificates from?
Indonesia. The, uh, wife and I are U.S. citizens.
The kids all born in Pare-Pare in Indonesia.
Pare-Pare. That's right.
Pare-Pare, born and bred.
- But you're a priest? - Oh, yes, ma'am.
A Catholic priest?
Yes, ma'am.
Uh, I'm spreadin' the good word, spreadin' the good seed.
So good.
That's nice.
And what's your name, hon?
[ Gibberish ]
Delilah. Her name is Delilah.
She was bitten by a monkey when she was eight, so her English is not so good.
[ Children Shouting Gibberish ]
[ Mouths Words ]
[ Gibberish ]
Sorry, ma'am. Quit scratching, honey.
He got bitten by a tsetse fly at the airport. Big old son of a bitch.
So now we're back on U.S. soil.
We wanted to get the kids all socially secured.
You know, with cards.
God bless you. God bless you.
Problems with the newlyweds. That guy Pete,
he e-mailed again and said he wants to reschedule the golf trip.
Good. Reschedule. Tell him the mono's really kicking in...
and it's contagious as hell.
Don't come around. Didn't like you anyway, weasel.
Do you have to call 'em "newlyweds"? They're newlyweds.
- So how do we use these cards? - We use 'em to enroll you kids in school.
Would you stop scaring 'em? I'm serious.
So am I! [ Di Di ] Dad, come on.
School? Who wants to learn a bunch of buffer bullshit?
School is the cornerstone of buffer society.
It's where you meet a lot of buffer friends and learn really important things.
Wayne, it will kill their tiny minds.
I went to school till seventh grade. Didn't kill my mind.
- Well, you're a half-breed. - Ooh!
I'm just sayin'.
Come on. It'll be real fun, won't it?
When was the last time you were in an educational facility?
Fifty minutes outside Georgia, ripping off that school.
- Yeah. Wasn't that great? - Dad, it sucked.
What else do we really need to know? You taught us everything.
We're smart. We're crafty. We're self-taught.
We're auto-dy-namic.
Auto-- Shit. What is that again?
The word is autodidact, and if you don't know, you're not self-taught.
I know history. Oh, really?
All of it? Who's Sulla?
The guy from Star Wars. He was the first dictator of Rome.
Freak. I read a book on Joan of Arc.
Look, this is not an education, kids.
I do not want my children in no buffer facility.
Stop being scared of school.
Okay? Nothing to be scared of. Knowledge is power.
That's the end of it.
On a lighter note--
Honey, you're my best friend. What do you think?
Red or blue? Oh, I have no opinion.
I'm scared of school.
Obviously red.
I'm gonna tell my mom. Yeah, you little bitch?
You tell your mama who you been talkin' to.
I haven't talked to Cael in a week.
Oh, look. Incoming calls from Cael.
Okay, so I talked to him. But I don't know where they are.
Don't sass me. I will beat you with a switch.
[ Spits ]
See? Now you make me get all violent.
Screw you, Dale.
[ Moaning ] [ Horn Honking In Rhythm ]
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, shit, Wayne!
Oh!
[ Laughing ]
Not bad for a half-breed. [ Chuckles ]
Not bad.
[ Panting ] And--
Oh. Sex and a gold card too. Because you're worth it.
They're legit.
What-- Wait. We have to pay at the end of every month?
That's the idea here. It's F.E.O.
For Energetic Orgasms? No.
For Emergencies Only.
Oh, shit, Wayne. I've been running hot plastic since I was eight years old.
You can't screw me, give me a gold card and tell me it's F.E.O.
New life, new horizons,
new challenges.
Now just 'cause you grew up a buffer,
it don't give you the right to call me ignorant, you know.
I never called you ignorant.
You said I was scared of school. I ain't scared of anything.
What does Panco do anyway?
Real estate investment something.
Cael gave me a printout. Did you even glance at it?
Yeah, I even glanced at it.
Well, that is really girlie.
Yeah?
Doesn't feel right.
No?
Hold on.
Better, huh? Yeah.
Thank you.
[ Sighs ]
Wish you were coming with me.
I bet. Who else gonna put rocks in your briefcase?
You and me. I know.
You'll be fine though. You're the best con man in the world.
The world is a big place.
Okay. You're the best con man gets in my pants.
Sorry I called you a half-breed.
This is crazy.
[ Hugh ] Hi. Welcome to Panco.
Thank you for calling Panco. Please hold.
Welcome to Panco. Are you a Panco person?
Hi. Welcome to Panco.
Thank you for calling Panco. Please hold.
You must be a Panco person.
I am on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Can I be Tuesdays and Thursdays?
Thank you for calling Panco.
Please hold. Thank you for calling Panco.
I-- I'm Doug Rich.
Oh, Mr. Rich. Mr. Panetta's been expecting you.
Excellent. Uh--
Hi. Doug Rich. Oh. Hey.
Hi. Doug Rich. Nice to meet you.
Doug. You're late.
Doug Rich, meet your new team.
Panco team, meet your new legal chief.
I hope you don't mind impromptu. I wanna get folks together and just dive in.
Uh, no. Impromptu-- Very good.
Love to dive in. Great.
All right.
Floor's yours.
[ Wayne ] Okay. Um--
Do you, uh-- What-- Where would you like me to start?
I don't know.
Uh, how about the present, future,
vis-à-vis the Doug Rich way.
Present, future, Doug Rich way.
Okeydokey.
Good morning.
Uh, what is the Doug Rich way?
What is the Doug Rich way?
Anybody?
Okay. No, that'd be too easy.
Uh, is it about the present? Yeah, sure is. Right now.
Is it about the future?
It's written in the stars.
It's about-- It's about problems.
It's about what's the problem, where's the problem. There's a problem. Catch the problem.
Look, it's getting away. Stomp it with your foot!
It's about people solving the problems.
Panco people. People of Panco.
Peter Piper picked a peck of Panco people.
[ Sniffs ] And it was good on the first day.
And these are the people-- You-- We are the people...
that will win each and every case.
Uh, what case?
Exactly.
What cases.
We're a real estate company.
Panco real estate company.
That is what we are.
What have I got in my briefcase?
A hundred bucks to anyone---
No, hell, a thousand bucks of Hugh's money.
[ Chuckles ] Anyone.
Have a guess. What's in the briefcase?
What's your name? Kimmie.
Thousand bucks.
Um, the Beaufort-Simpson file?
The Beaufort-Simpson file, a file I will be getting to know.
No, it isn't in the briefcase.
Good guess. Anyone else? Thousand bucks.
- Pink slips. - [ Wayne ] Pink slips.
No.
Thank you. Not today.
Well, I'll show you.
I'll get the thousand bucks.
When people ask me, "What is the Doug Rich way?",
I say it's this.
This is it. This is the Doug Rich way.
This is what I am about,
what we will be about,
the whole team.
- Yes. - So you want us to be rocks?
What's your name? Tony.
Tony, you got yourself a raise. Check with Hugh.
Yes, we will be rocks, all of us.
I am a rock. What are you, Kimmie?
A rock? Yes, you are.
We will be rocks. You and you and you and you--
All of us, rocks. Rock solid. Rock sure.
Rock and roll, baby. This is us.
Now, if we all--
All us rocks, if we stick together,
we become--
A mountain.
A mountain, yes.
A mountain.
Together, we will be a mountain.
A Panco mountain.
All right! All right.
All right, Doug!
There's Robert E. Lee.
It's a public school. It's mixed,
which, in my opinion, is a good thing.
I mean,
who wants to be with Whitey McWhitey all the time?
Also, it's cheap.
Oh, that's good.
Excuse me, is that a camel?
Jim and his shitty alpacas.
Oh, and then there's the Jesuits.
And, of course, ye famous old Rosemere.
Is that a school? Oh, yeah.
The Rosemere Academy.
1,500 a month, 18 a year.
It's a symbol of everything that's wrong with the universe.
- Eighteen what? - Thousand dollars, hon.
18,000 a year to send your kid to school? Get out!
That's not including books.
Sugar? Sure.
I would love some sugar.
And to think of all the kids that are starving in Africa.
So you send your daughter to public school?
Hell, no! Rosemere.
We're all hypocrites.
Come on in here. And this-- this here's Greg.
Greg's a great guy. Great accountant too.
And-- Oh, here we are. Little snacky. This is Diana.
[ Quietly ] Smokin' hot.
Lynn, Kimmie, Jen.
Great speech. You're a real Panco person.
Kimmie is terrific.
Yeah, so are Lynn and Jen. Great girls. Ladies. Ladies.
Aubrey? Aubrey? Come here.
Come on.
Aubrey's a five-star paralegal. Wants to be a lawyer too.
What year are you on? Year two in night school?
- Third year, actually. - Third year. Yeah.
I'm not sure I want her to graduate. Then she'll be a lawyer. I'll lose her.
She's the hardest worker I've got.
- [ Clears Throat ] - Uh, let's see now.
- And, uh-- - Tony.
Yeah. Sit down, Tony. Miguel. Miguel.
[ Speaking Spanish ]
My husband?
Your husband? What about your wife? What the hell?
[ Spanish ]
Thank you. Wife's in chemo. He hasn't missed a spill.
He's a goddamn saint and a great janitor. Hey, there, Stew.
What's going on?
You know.
Yeah, Stew's okay. He's pretty good.
Sit down, Greg.
You'll be moving into Stewart's offices today.
Stewart's moving offices? No.
No more offices for Stewart.
Somebody comes, somebody goes.
Somebody dies, somebody lives.
I'm a hunter, Doug. In hunting, you eat what you kill, you kill what you eat.
¿Comprende? So when are you planning to tell him?
I'm not planning on telling him anything. Get rid of him by lunch.
[ Beeping ]
[ Line Ringing ] [ Woman ] Be back in five minutes.
[ Ringing ] [ Cael ] I got it! I got it.
Don't pick it up. I got it, I got it, I got it.
Don't touch it! I-- I said don't touch it.
Give me my phone. Give me my phone.
Can I have my phone, please?
Have you been talking to her? Cael, look at me.
Did you tell her where we are?
Yeah, Di, I gave her the address 'cause I'm that dumb.
Don't be a dick, Cael. Rule number eight.
Don't rat on your family even when you think your dad has lost his mind.
We're gonna be gone in a week. What do you care? Maybe not.
Maybe we'll graduate high school, become lawyers or dentists...
or successful Americans or shit, Cael.
Maybe Dad has a plan. Did you ever think of that? Maybe Dad has a--
When was the last time Dad had a plan, Di? When?
Do you really think Dad has a plan?
Do you? He stole the money. Ma lost the money.
And now we're here in a dead guy's house.
He got a job, Cael!
He got a job.
That's great.
It is, Di. But when was the last time he held one down for more than two days?
We're gonna get caught, Di.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
Hello? [ Dahlia ] Hiya.
Well, Nina was kind enough to make an appointment for us today at Rosemere School.
Yeah, well, couldn't you have given me a little bit more notice?
- David! - I mean, this is just a little bit inconvenient.
- David! Hello? - I know.
I didn't ask her to. She just did it.
Don't get mad at me. You want school.
Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll see you at noon.
Uh-huh. See you at noon.
David. David's good. Doug's better.
All right. Well, I hear we're gonna be working together, Doug.
You know, I've been begging Hugh for some support around here.
I hope you're ready for me to work you to death. [ Chuckles ]
- Beaufort-Simpson. - Yeah, you read up on the deal, right?
Oh, yeah.
You know, we got a conference call at 3:00.
Why don't you just jump in and take the call yourself, huh?
Give 'em the old Panco punch.
Absolutely. Better-- Better still,
you could take the call, I'll watch the master at work.
[ Clucks ] Chicken, huh?
[ Hooting ]
Wise owl.
[ Sighs ]
So who you replacing, Doug?
You mean the-- No, you know what I mean.
Hugh's a freak. Space is limited. If you're in, who's out?
I got a hundred bucks on that Picarelli. Guy's a f'ing whiner.
You guys bet on who's getting canned?
I know. It's local entertainment around here.
I got 500 bucks says it's you.
That's not even funny.
I got 12 mouths to feed.
What, you mean all these kids are yours?
Of course they're mine. Adopted...
from every corner of the world.
This one's got a heart of gold.
Her name's, uh, Chi-ho.
Anyway. Wanna get started on this?
Okay.
No. All this.
Right.
This is a school? This is a private school, honey.
It's an academy. I gotta get this done fast.
I got a conference call at 3:00. Shit.
He snuck 'em on. Sammy. Sammy.
Do Secret Squirrel, okay? Okay.
Di Di, what's your name?
My name's Delilah Rich from Tampa.
Hobbies? Fencing, skiing, racquetball and sex.
- Ow! Chess! - [ Dahlia ] Cut the sass!
Have you kids even thought about who you are? I'm a rich jerk-off.
I think we know who we are. But the question is,
do we really wanna go to a school that rips us off for 18 grand a year?
Eighteen grand a year? Is that a joke? Why are you so scared of school?
My mom was scared of school, and look what happened to her. What happened to her?
She drowned in a creek 'cause she couldn't read the goddamn "Danger" sign.
Hey, hey, hey. "We know what we are, but not what we may be."
William Shakespeare.
I don't know what that means, but y'all take notes.
[ Woman Speaking French ]
[ Speaking French Along With Class ]
Tres bien. Excellent, class.
[ Continues In French ]
And chess too.
Well, I'm no pro or anything, but I-I do play the computer.
Our daughter is very gifted.
You mean highly gifted?
You mean perversely gifted. That's what we got here, Jane.
[ Jane ] So what can I do for you nice people today?
Jane, we are in the scouting process at the moment, being new to Edenfalls,
and our kids' education is, of course, paramount.
And we're looking for the topmost educational environment...
for our three dangerously gifted children.
And Rosemere-- Yeah, Rosemere's it.
I see. You're interested in Rosemere?
We are, Jane.
And I assume you are aware that we have an extensive waiting list?
We are, Jane.
Uh, the extensive waiting list, of course.
Jane-- We are people of means.
Excuse me?
We got money.
No, I know what "means" means, Mrs. Rich.
[ Bell Tolling ]
Look, you should feel free to apply,
and I'll be sure to let you know if we have any openings next fall.
Next fall?
That's when our year begins.
Our school is currently full, Mrs. Rich.
You can make room for three little kids.
[ Chuckles ] Well, now that really wouldn't be fair...
to our current parents, would it, Mrs. Rich?
I mean, they thought ahead.
They made our deadlines.
They got their applications in on time.
Now, I'm delighted to hear that your children's education...
is, in fact, "paramount" to you.
From where I'm sitting, it doesn't really look that way.
I think what you're looking for...
is a delightful public school in the area.
Robert E. Lee.
Yeah? Well, I shit on Robert E. Lee.
Baby, don't you listen to that bitch. We can go anywhere we want.
Public school, private school-- What do you care? You've never even been to a school.
She can take her 18 grand and shove it up her ass.
They don't just give it to you, Wayne.
This American dream, they don't just give it to you with a big old ribbon and a bow.
If we want it, we gotta take it.
We gotta do whatever it takes to get it and to hold on to it...
till they rip it out of our cold, dead hands.
There ain't nobody gonna tell me I don't care about my kids.
There's nobody gonna say they ain't good enough.
They're not gonna let us in, Mom.
Yeah, they will. Come on, Sam!
[ Reading In French ]
This is it. Jane Fedley.
1158 Old Hickory. It's quite a nice house.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ] It's not as nice as ours.
[ Di Di ] Cael, you first.
- [ Wayne ] And we need to do this quick. - All right, kids, dig in.
Thanks, Mom.
Di Di, come on. Do it. Do it.
- Oh, this one reeks. - Cael, do y'all wanna go to private school or not?
[ Together ] No.
Well, ya are. They are?
Yes! Take the bags back to the car. Put 'em in the car.
Thank you, ma'am. May I have another?
Hurry up, will you? Don't you have a meeting?
Okay, if you get caught, call me. I'm a lawyer.
Didn't I teach you anything?
[ Latch Unlocks ]
[ Mock Laughter ]
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Di Di ] Oh, my God. Cael, come here.
Check out this bird.
Okay. [ Bird Squawking ] Gotta go! Gotta go!
[ Phone Ringing ] [ Stewart ] There goes my phone.
Hey, are you deaf?
What part of "Hold my calls" don't you understand?
I'm sorry. Get it?
[ Clears Throat ] So, what happened?
Well, I put the money in. It wouldn't come out.
No. Couldn't pull the trigger?
Oh, that. Um-- Didn't seem to have a problem pulling the trigger last night.
What happened? That was firing a gun.
Doug, listen. I'm an easygoin' guy.
I got three rules here at Panco.
Don't litter. Flush the john.
And make the new guy fire the old guy.
Can you live with that? [ Stewart ] Aubrey?
- That-a-boy. - Conference call in a half an hour, all right?
And get 'em on the phone first, and don't screw up.
Pronto! Hey, Aubrey.
Tony, Greg.
Sit down.
Aubrey, what do you think of this?
Excuse me? What do you think of this?
Would you like to have a go at this?
I mean, would you like to take a stab at this?
At the candy bar? No, this, this.
Not this-- this. Beaufort-Simpson, right?
I am not a lawyer, Mr. Rich.
Yes, but you're an expert. You know your field.
You must know this like the back of your hand.
Oh, so you want me to mark it up?
I want you to mark it up. That's it. Just to mark it up.
I'm a paralegal. Good.
That should help.
[ Sighs ]
I-I-I don't want to get blamed, and I really, really need this job.
You will not get blamed.
You're doing this for me. I just want your opinion.
Okay?
You want my opinion? I'm a just man.
I am a fair man. I am a woman-loving, color-blind and powerful man.
And I want your opinion, and I wanna give you this candy bar as well...
for the job.
[ Aubrey ] Are you going to fire him?
The man's got 12 children. Can I tell you a secret?
Mm-hmm. Those aren't his children.
He cut the photos out of a catalog.
No shit?
Okay.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Dahlia ] How you doin', baby?
Well, she just sat down for a snack.
So, say we got us 20, 30 minutes easy.
Okay, well, you keep your eye on her. Bye-bye.
[ Dahlia ] Okay. My account name is Jane Fedley.
She must really like Cosmo.
Jones. Yeah, J-O-N--
Well, that big old computer must have a big old mistake inside it,
because that is my mother's maiden name.
Mm-hmm. Sure.
My birthday? September 18, 1961. Yeah.
My Social is 433-35-6622. [ Bird Squawking ]
- Gotta go. Gotta go. - Y'all want the blood of my firstborn too?
Excuse me one moment. Would you shut that bird up!
Mom, I am trying, okay?
Goddamn it. I'm so sorry. My in-laws are in town. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, I've lost my cell phone. Mm-hmm.
I just wondered if you could suspend my service a couple days just to see if it shows up.
Mm-hmm. Well, thank you so much.
Oh, I love them shoes. Baby, come here.
Okay.
Now, you gotta make a choice. What do you mean?
Right now, for the con.
See, when you rope that Fedley woman, you can be a girl.
But then, see, you gotta stay a girl.
Or you can be a boy.
Might be easier.
I gotta make a choice?
Not for me, not ever.
I love you just like you are.
But yeah, you gotta make a choice...
for them.
You wanna go to that school, right?
Yeah. Okay.
I swear to God, this bird, if it says it one more time-- Gotta go!
I'm gonna cook him!
Of all the things that we had to steal, we had to steal a goddamn parrot?
[ Squawks ] Gotta go! Gotta go! It's not funny.
You hold him. Did you find something good for him? Let me see.
It's a prep school called Burton.
It's about an hour away. It's pretty fancy.
[ Dahlia ] That is good.
Hey. You think he can do this? Oh, sure.
Kid's a Malloy. He can do it. He can do it.
Okay, show me that bike. Come on.
Operation Education, here we go.
[ Hissing ]
[ Squawks ] Gotta go! Gotta go!
Hi, there. Is everything all right?
Oh, dear.
You've gotten yourself a flat there, haven't you?
My mom's gonna kill me for this. Ah.
So your mom's not here, and she doesn't know where you are, does she?
No, I snuck off to the library to study.
You snuck off to study?
Yes, ma'am.
Well, you know what? I have my phone here.
Why don't we give her a call?
You have her number, right?
[ Beeping ]
- That's odd. - What?
I don't seem to have any, uh, service here. Oh, no.
I need to call my mom.
Okay, sweetheart. It's all right. Um--
You know what? I live right around the corner.
Why don't we walk over there, and we can call your mother from my house.
Would that be okay? Thank you.
So you're a Burton kid?
Oh. Yeah. Not yet.
My brother and sister and I are supposed to start next week. Ah.
Well, Burton is an excellent school.
It's all right. It was actually our second choice.
Really? What was your first choice? Rosemere.
Mom said that was the kind of place a kid like me could really spread his wings in--
intellectually, of course.
Huh. What's your favorite subject, Sam?
French, ma'am.
[ French ]
You read Shakespeare in French? Just the soliloquies.
Ah. Uh, this is actually where I live.
[ Tammy On Phone ] He threatened me, okay?
He said I had to do it. I had no choice.
He said-- Who? Who-- Who is it?
Dale. It's Dale, okay?
You don't have to marry him.
By rule, you can say no. I can't say no.
He forced me, Cael.
I, um-- I think I might be pregnant with his baby.
I'm splittin' tonight. Got some bucks.
Take the hound, see where it leads me. You know what I mean?
No, no. Don't do that.
Well, what do you suggest?
Come live with us.
Okay? I'll take care of the baby.
You can--
You can go to school here. I don't know.
Since when do you go to school?
Since today.
So how do I find you?
I'll pick you up. 8:00 tonight.
Remember that place you got sick off those fish sticks? I don't remember the name.
Off Route 19?
I'll see you then.
Bye.
[ Di Di ] Cael? What?
You left the window open. Where is the bird?
Aw, shit!
Pretty birdie?
Bird? Bird?
Come here, birdie. Come on.
You know I like you.
Come on, you little shithead.
Come here, bird.
Bird?
Birdie? Who's gotta go now, huh?
Come on, bird. Goddamn it.
[ Man ] Is this what you're looking for?
[ Squawks ] Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta go!
Great. Yeah. Could you just bring him down for me?
How about you come up?
Oh, my God.
Want some? No.
Thanks.
I'm working on a triptych.
** [ Strumming ]
So what's it about?
Your-- Your trip thing.
Isolation.
Don't worry, ma'am.
We'll find your little oiseau. [ Footsteps ]
My mom's here.
Oh, sweetheart. I was worried sick about you.
- This is the nice woman who let me use her phone. - Jane.
Yes, yes. Uh, hello. Hello.
You two know each other? Well, Ms. Fedley--
Ms. Fedley's the head of Rosemere, baby.
What, you mean-- Well, uh, thank you, Jane.
Yes. Thank you so much. I think we should be going now.
Of course. Okay.
Um-- No, my books.
- Books. - His books, yes.
Mom, we can't leave her.
Her bird-- Le petit chou is missing.
"Le" what? It's French.
It's-- It means "cabbage." We gotta help her find him.
Well, sweetheart, you know, Ms. Fedley's an adult.
I'm sure she can manage. If she did something nice for me,
why can't we do something nice for her?
Thanks, guys. [ Man, Woman ] Thanks, Stewart.
[ Man #2 ] Thank you.
[ Sighs ] You didn't say a word.
Next time, chime in. That's what you're here for, isn't it?
Yeah. Let's talk about Panco, Stew.
You know what? Let's talk about your lack of participation on that conference call.
No, forget about that.
Tell me about Beaufort-Simpson.
Are we winning or losing?
I couldn't tell on the conference call.
Okay, let's play a game.
Uh, I'm gonna read a paragraph from the Beaufort-Simpson file.
You tell me what it means, okay? Here we go.
"The provision of law R.C. 163.19,
which prohibits a court from enjoining the"-- Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.
"...violates the separation of powers doctrine,
and is therefore unconstitutional."
What the hell does that mean? "Yada, yada, yada"? What kind of lawyer are you?
No, just-- just imagine I know nothing about the law, okay?
Just imagine I've just come straight out of the forest.
I'm a kid from the swamps and I'm here and-- Whoa!
Just help me out here. "Eminent domain."
Now, what's that? I saw it in a film.
Eminent domain? Yeah, is it important?
Jesus Christ! Where did you go to school, man?
You have to be the worst lawyer in the world.
I am. I am the worst lawyer in the world.
And you--
You are the best liar in the world.
Your family?
Cut out of a magazine?
That is brilliant.
You know what? I am tired of this shit. Get out of my office.
[ Chuckles ] No, you get out of your office.
You're fired.
I'm sorry.
I'm not that sorry.
He doesn't know.
The new guy doesn't know anything!
He doesn't even know about eminent domain!
Welcome to Panco, Doug. I hope your time here is fruitful.
Thank you.
Come on, little chou-chou. Come here, little chou-chou.
[ Imitating Bird Squawking ]
See? This is how the world ends.
Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Oh, Jane, honey, don't be so negative.
Thing about birds is you think they care,
but all they really want is food.
Maybe I should go look over that way or something.
Yeah, go look that way. [ Mouthing Words ]
[ Jane Squawking ] Yeah, and hurry. Hurry.
Don't be sad, Jane. Yeah, keep doing that little bird call.
[ Squawking ]
Hey, I'm not late, am I? Just give me the bird.
Okay. Yell, "Over here." Over here!
Okay. Take the bird. Come on! Just step up.
Good boy. Okay, go, go, go.
I found him!
[ Vehicle Passes ]
[ Engine Starts ]
[ Squawks ] [ Sam ] Take care, Ms. Fedley.
Bonsoir. Come here, you.
And best of luck at Burton.
It-It really is a-a very good school. Thank you.
Yeah. It is an hour away,
but, you know, if you don't stand for education, hell, what do you stand for?
Mrs. Rich-- Oh, call me Cherien.
I want to repay you. How can I repay you for this great kindness?
Oh, there's nothing you could do, Jane.
We're not the kind of people need to be repaid, are we? No.
No. Sometimes, life's not about payments or meeting deadlines,
playing by the rules.
Sometimes, life, it just-- it comes right out and it hits ya.
And before you know it, you got a missing child and a missing bird.
We know what we are...
but not what we may be.
Right?
Good-bye, Jane.
Au revoir.
Um, Cherien, uh, have-- have you got a minute?
Mom's still got it, huh?
Why, sure, Jane.
[ Man ] * Call out the instigator
* Because there's something in the air *
* We got to get together sooner or later *
* Because the revolution's here *
* And you know it's right
* We have got to get it together *
* We have got to get it together now *
Better be a rental.
Never trust a thief with a gold card, baby. I've missed ya.
I missed you too. And how has your day been?
Good. I think I'm gettin' the hang of it.
I think you are too.
[ Sighs ]
I got the kids into Rosemere. Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm. Eighteen grand times three.
How much is that? That's a lot of money, Wayne.
Well, I'd better crack open some law books, see if I can keep this job.
You think it's gonna rain? I hope not.
Never mind. Your rock-- Big hit.
No shit? Yeah.
[ No Audible Dialogue ]