1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,713 - Look at this. 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,340 The writers put it on my door. 3 00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:07,984 - I don't know what that's referring to. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,593 - It's referring to this one time 5 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,405 that I got a chemical peel before work, 6 00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,195 and I was wearing a red and green sweater 7 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,264 and a fedora. 8 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,560 But these douche-Bs have been doing this for weeks. 9 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,395 - "Lez Lemon." - First thought. 10 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,706 - "Winona Ryder in a hundred years." 11 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,690 - Weak. - "Fart Barfunkel." 12 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,275 - Indian food. - "Paul Simon." 13 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,319 - I don't get that, but it hurts. 14 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:30,322 Look, I love a good joke, but I am their boss, 15 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,366 and, at a certain point, it crosses a line. 16 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,076 To quote Rodney dangerfield, 17 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,161 "hey, I... 18 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,288 "Hey, I..." No, let's see... 19 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,820 - Lemon, if you're about to say 20 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,750 that you don't get any respect, you're right. 21 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,752 I mean, in a post-apocalyptic world, 22 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,963 how would society even use you? 23 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,339 - Traveling bard. 24 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,466 - Radiation canary. I have to run, Lemon. 25 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,760 I have an appointment in Washington. 26 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,137 The hearings on the Kabletown-NBC deal 27 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,429 are underway, 28 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,100 and the company has entrusted me 29 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,685 to be their front man. 30 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,337 - Hey, will you ask congress where they put the usa network? 31 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,724 I've been trying to find monk for, like, three months. 32 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,917 - The only thing I will be discussing 33 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,981 with the house subcommittee on baseball, quiz shows, 34 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,529 terrorism, and media is vertical integration. 35 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,364 - What's vertical integration? 36 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,658 - Imagine that your favorite corn chip manufacturer 37 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,077 also owned the number one diarrhea medication. 38 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,930 - That'd be great, 'cause then they could put 39 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,872 a little sample of the medicine in each bag. 40 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,583 - Keep thinking. 41 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,961 - Except then they might be tempted to make the corn chips 42 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,613 give you... - Vertical integration. 43 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,474 - Wow, that should not be allowed to happen. 44 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,484 - But it's my job to make sure that it does happen. 45 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,219 Do you know who gets elected to congress these days? 46 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:38,432 Former athletes, washed-up actors, and women. 47 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,475 I'm locked and loaded and ready for whatever 48 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,247 these beltway lobotomites throw at me. 49 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,754 - What if we have to stay overnight 50 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,456 and there aren't enough rooms, so we have to share a room, 51 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,541 and I forgot to bring a shirt to sleep in 52 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,845 and the stores are all closed... 53 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:58,785 ♪ ♪ 54 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,396 - Liz, quick question about the Johnny Appleseed sketch. 55 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,006 Does it hurt it if we can't call him Johnny Appleseed? 56 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,382 - Yes. Why? 57 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,901 - Well, Johnny Appleseed was a real guy, 58 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,445 and his descendants are very litigious. 59 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:18,305 So here is a list of the names that legal says we can use. 60 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,099 Jerry Bananaseed. And nothing else. 61 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,671 - Great, so what are my choices? 62 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:23,935 Either I argue with legal 63 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,705 or I spend all day writing something else? 64 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,123 Does anyone care 65 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,607 - Oh! We can't use Jerry Bananaseed. 66 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,259 Someone with that name killed a bunch of nurses in Portland. 67 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,949 - Kenneth. You're back. 68 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,577 I need you to get me something called Vagitrax. 69 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,121 It's for dry knees. 70 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,082 - I wish I were back, miss Maroney. 71 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,209 I'm reapplying to the page program. 72 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,753 But it's a lot harder than my first time around. 73 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,172 It's gotten really competitive. 74 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:55,217 You shoulda seen what I saw in Mr. Winerslav's office. 75 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,803 - Well, your interview will be Thursday. 76 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,138 Is there any a/v equipment you'll be needing? 77 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,350 - Equipment? - ♪ Inside Schwartz 21 ♪ 78 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,002 ♪ hill street blues, wings is fun ♪ 79 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,478 ♪ golden girls, quantum leap ♪ 80 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,397 ♪ outsourced is the new friends ♪ 81 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,692 - The process used to be dignified. 82 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,652 Now it's just a pageant. 83 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,070 - Just a pageant? 84 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:19,199 That's like saying a guy is cool because he has just a speedboat. 85 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,993 If you need help winning a pageant, 86 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,525 you've come to the right place. 87 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,622 - Well, if it'll get me back into the page program. 88 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,458 - When I was pageantizing, my mother told me 89 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,292 there's only three things 90 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,944 standing between you and winning... 91 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,463 Your breasts and wanting it bad enough. 92 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,383 - I'm not sure that applies... 93 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,219 - we've already started. 94 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,306 - And this deal will count as a 39% bump 95 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,560 variable against an 11 % increase 96 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,937 of synchronized flexibility. 97 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,389 - Sir, my name is Rob reiner. 98 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,190 And before I became a congressman, 99 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,568 I dabbled in television, 100 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:55,860 won a couple of emmys. 101 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,238 And I believe that my experience out there 102 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:02,409 in hollyweird gives me a special insight 103 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,994 into these types of deals, 104 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,539 particularly when it comes to... - Say it, meathead. 105 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,166 - Vertical integration. 106 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,127 - Ahh, the dreaded V.I. 107 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,546 Bad for america, kills innovation, 108 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,047 drives up prices. 109 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,424 Is that it? 110 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,276 I guess that's why big oil and Microsoft 111 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,622 are such great American failures. 112 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,179 - What? - Dare I say 113 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,639 vertical integration drives down prices 114 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,641 by streamlining the process. 115 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:27,933 Consider the farmer. 116 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,144 He owns his land, 117 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,563 the equipment he uses to harvest his crops, 118 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,857 the truck that he uses to drive that product 119 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,984 to the farmers' market where he sells it 120 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,276 directly to the consumer. 121 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,906 Is that not vertical integration? 122 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,199 1:32 P.M. 123 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,493 Mark the time, ladies and gentlemen, 124 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,953 that congress put a bullet 125 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,605 in the head of the American farmer. 126 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:49,872 - No! You win! 127 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,124 - The acclaimed director 128 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,584 of when Harry met Sally 129 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:53,876 would never do that. 130 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,712 - As always, it's been a pleasure. 131 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,255 - Mr. Donaghy, 132 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,547 one last question. 133 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:02,093 Why is NBC so racist? 134 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,809 - Horrible. 135 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,100 What else can you do? 136 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,143 - ♪ Oh, everybody ♪ 137 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:12,562 ♪ born before Jesus ♪ 138 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:13,939 ♪ is in hell ♪ 139 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,591 ♪ they went straight... ♪ - enough. 140 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,930 I'm gonna have to reinvent you. 141 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,195 Break you down completely and build you up from scratch. 142 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,405 Just like Mickey Rourke did me to sexually. 143 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,697 - But miss Maroney, 144 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,149 I don't want to be reinvented. 145 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,408 I want to be me. 146 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,411 - All right, first things first. 147 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,622 Can you lose that goony accent? 148 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,707 - Well, I don't know, ma'am. 149 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:33,583 You made me think about it, 150 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,418 and when I get to thinkin' 'bout it, 151 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,630 it juh get worse. 152 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,465 - Mr. Donaghy, I represent 153 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,477 Rhode Island's first congressional district. 154 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:43,885 It's a diverse community, 155 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,054 from the hard-working moms and dads 156 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,349 of Smithfield to those spoiled jags at Brown 157 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:53,144 to a thriving, flourishing Italian criminal community 158 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,436 in Providence. 159 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,189 It's my responsibility to make sure 160 00:05:56,481 --> 00:06:00,277 that public airwaves represent the face of my public. 161 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,070 Now, one question, 162 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,614 why is it that NBC looks about as diverse 163 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,324 as a Wilco concert? 164 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,953 - I would point to Sunday night football, 165 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,455 which features many black players and coaches. 166 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,375 Oh, and we have Anthony Anderson, 167 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,961 the star of law & order, which is entering its 21st... 168 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:18,920 It's been cancelled! 169 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,006 - What? Why did we cancel that? 170 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,418 That doesn't make any sense. 171 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,632 - Mr. Donaghy, this may just be about money to you, 172 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,387 but, as a member of congress and a black woman... 173 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,348 - I don't really see color or gender, Mr. Chang. 174 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,701 - I feel I have an extra duty, 175 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,477 not just to my constituents, 176 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:35,478 but to future generations. 177 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:40,984 Now, unless I see some serious change at NBC 178 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,153 and soon, I can guarantee you 179 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,822 this deal will not happen. 180 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,659 - Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb. 181 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,311 Peas and carrots. Rhubarb. Rhubarb. 182 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,788 Peas and carrots. Rhubarb. 183 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,917 - Dotcom, you run Tracy's production company, right? 184 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,501 - Yes. Dotcom productions. 185 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,629 - That's Tracy Jordan spelled backwards. 186 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,506 - Well, I need programming for the African-American community, 187 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,718 and nobody knows that demographic better than you. 188 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,387 - Don't worry about it, Jackie D, I'm on it. 189 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:10,138 Call Grizz. 190 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,016 I need someone around who's not just a yes man. 191 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,476 - Whatever you say, tray. Oh. 192 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,519 Come on, Walter. 193 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,774 - What is going on? 194 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,568 - Representative Regina Bookman is using the Kabletown hearings 195 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,737 as a soap box from which to complain 196 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,309 about a lack of diversity on TV. 197 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,949 - Well, she has a point. 198 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,660 I was reading the new Malcolm Gladwell new yorker piece 199 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,552 on my kindle. - Did you really read that? 200 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:34,955 - No, I did not. 201 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,141 - I really resent the congresswoman's accusations. 202 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,000 I've long been an advocate for diversity. 203 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,710 It's made this nation great. 204 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,504 The Chinese built the railroads, 205 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,215 the Irish built and then filled the jails... 206 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,092 - A guy named Juan built my armoire. 207 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,594 - Diversity means new ideas and new markets. 208 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,638 It is our best hope 209 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,056 for true innovation. 210 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,268 - Did you tell all that to congresswoman Bookman? 211 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,828 - No, I was too busy trying to remember 212 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,371 the name of the black kid on community 213 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:58,812 - D'Nall Glover. 214 00:07:59,104 --> 00:07:59,813 - It wouldn't have mattered anyway. 215 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,898 The whole thing was just political theater. 216 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,442 You should have seen her grandstanding. 217 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,903 - The future and america. 218 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,989 Now I may have lost my train of thought 219 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,949 several minutes ago, 220 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,702 but if I continue to talk like this, 221 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,996 no one will notice, and when I stop, 222 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,791 you will applaud my energy. Thank you. 223 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,083 Thank you. 224 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,838 Thank you. 225 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,924 - I can't let Bookman jeopardize this deal. 226 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,343 Tell me about diversity at TGS. 227 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,762 - Well, Lutz claims to be inuit. 228 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,115 At least that was his explanation 229 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,765 when I found his poem about snow. 230 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,368 - What about Toofer? Is he any good? 231 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,995 - I don't know if he's mentioned this to you 100 times, 232 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,186 but he went to Harvard. 233 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,021 - So we know he's smart 234 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,981 and superb at masturbation. 235 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,733 - Ha. 236 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,825 - Is there any way we can give him a promotion 237 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:47,610 of some kind? - Sure. 238 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,738 Make him co-head writer. 239 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,341 I always figured he'd take over for me when I die at my desk. 240 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,634 - Really? You're okay with that? 241 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,368 - Oh, yeah. Let someone else share 242 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,995 the total lack of respect, 243 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,847 deal with the meetings, the complaining, 244 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,832 the stupid Johnny Appleseed sketch. 245 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:01,708 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 246 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,878 You are not doing a sketch on the Appleseed family. 247 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,839 Monty Appleseed and I share a liquor locker at the opera. 248 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,760 I forgot my doctor said no more frustrated noises, 249 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,887 because it makes my vocal cords go... 250 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,975 Now it's gonna be like this all day. 251 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,062 - There you are. 252 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,855 I've got hair extensions for you 253 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,107 and a body shaper with a reinforced penile sleeve. 254 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,609 - Miss Maroney, please. 255 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,652 My feet are killing me. 256 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,821 - I am trying to help you, Kenneth. 257 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,531 Believe me, I wish you weren't 258 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,950 such a Houston foreclosure of a human being, 259 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,303 but I need to tear you down 260 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:42,665 and turn you into someone that can actually win this thing. 261 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,086 - They hired keyboard guy? 262 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,008 He's not even recycling properly. 263 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,260 Miss Maroney, wait. 264 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,723 So what do we want to see on TV? 265 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,642 I personally love cop shows. 266 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,938 I can't wait for law & order to start back up. 267 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,440 Why? It was a tentpole! 268 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,818 A tentpole! 269 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,545 - Well, here's something I've been working on. 270 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,404 It's called let's stay together. 271 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,948 After the Al green song. 272 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,991 It focuses on an African-American family 273 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,868 in Detroit in the '70s. 274 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,620 Motown, the auto industry, 275 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,288 Vietnam, Watergate. 276 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,225 Let's stay together is not just about a family 277 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,127 trying to stay together, but also a nation. 278 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:27,794 - What if there was a talking dog? 279 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,963 - I'd like to see that incorporated 280 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,297 into your rewrite. 281 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,758 Okay, meeting over. 282 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,095 - ♪ Thank you, NBC ♪ 283 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,140 ♪ for all the laughs and tears ♪ 284 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,143 ♪ once home to Kelsey Grammer ♪ 285 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:43,977 ♪ the golden girls, my name is Earl ♪ 286 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,603 ♪ the a-team and cheers ♪ 287 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,314 ♪ so shine on and thank you ♪ 288 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,733 ♪ NBC ♪ 289 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,944 A top-ten network. 290 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:56,072 - Smile. 291 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,701 - Okay, let's dig in, cohorts. 292 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:14,007 - It means the badger in Spanish. 293 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:17,218 I'm not sure who did it. 294 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,188 - Toofer's got a head writer sign on his door. 295 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,766 It's great. Good for him. 296 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,059 - Oh, god. Tejon face. 297 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:25,894 Is this about the TV interview? 298 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,979 - What TV interview? 299 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,064 - It's nothing. It's just a local cable show. 300 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,442 - Well, if my co-head writer is being interviewed, 301 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:33,734 then so am I. 302 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,196 Aqui viene El tejon! 303 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,078 - The only thing that worked in the read-through 304 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,910 was the dog. 305 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,722 - How's production going, tray? - Good. 306 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,913 And there's a lot of buzz. 307 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,205 Can you hear it too? 308 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,082 Or is my tinnitus acting up? 309 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,545 Hey! That food is for Dotcom productions only. 310 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,923 TGS's food is backstage. 311 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,855 - But they don't have women's sports bars. 312 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,760 Men can have cramping too, you know. 313 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,970 - Mr. Donaghy, I have representative Bookman 314 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,513 on the line. - Oh. 315 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:03,932 Representative Bookman. 316 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,824 - Mr. Donaghy, I'm in New York right now. 317 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,936 Some colleagues of mine and I are taking meetings 318 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:08,853 on Wall Street and then we're doing 319 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,980 a sex and the citywalking tour. 320 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,942 - Magnolia bakery? Oh, sorry, hips. 321 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,994 - But it looks like I'll have time to stop by 322 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,654 and continue our conversation. 323 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,072 - Good. I welcome it. 324 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:19,989 As I was trying to say the other day, 325 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,991 this company has a long-standing commitment 326 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,035 to diversity and inclusiveness. 327 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:24,744 - Yo, Jackie D, 328 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,413 I had dinner with Don Imus last night. 329 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:28,865 He told the following joke... 330 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,292 - Good-bye, congresswoman. 331 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,045 - I can't believe they rejected me. 332 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,397 - Well, of course they did. 333 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,965 The bridge was supposed to be 334 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,050 shuffle-ball-change, maxi Ford, Cincinnati, 335 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,178 Cincinnati, double-time shim-sham-shimmy, toe punch. 336 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,763 I don't know what you were doing. 337 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,265 - I'm sorry, miss Maroney. 338 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,716 - And where was your sparkle? 339 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:50,144 You embarrassed me in front of all the other mothers. 340 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,373 If you think you're going to sizzler tonight, Jenna, 341 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,557 you got another thing coming. 342 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,693 Oh, you'll be practicing your steps in the garage 343 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,104 until the school boat comes. 344 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,737 If I hadn't seen you come out of me in that parking lot, 345 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,740 I'd swear you weren't my daughter. 346 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,158 Oh, my god. 347 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,450 What just happened? 348 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,203 - I think you just turned into... 349 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,955 - let me get there. 350 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,832 I've turned into my mother. 351 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,002 And I turned you into me. 352 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,294 You're welcome. 353 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,545 But it was wrong. 354 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,839 - Well, to make it up to me... 355 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,507 - let me get there! 356 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,883 To make it up to you, 357 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,802 I am going to get your job back 358 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,513 or my name isn't Yustrepa Gronkowitz. 359 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,516 I mean, Jenna Maroney. 360 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,770 - Welcome to right on. 361 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,439 I'm your host, rutherford rice. 362 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,191 With me is my co-host Shirley Thomas. 363 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,818 Our topic for today 364 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,904 is African-Americans and their roles in the media. 365 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,907 Our first guest is James Spurlock, 366 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,994 head writer for TGS with Tracy Jordan. 367 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,412 - Good day, tri-staters. 368 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,039 - Co. Co-head writer. 369 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,208 - And also with us is someone named Elizabeth Lemon. 370 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,294 - Thank you, rutherford. It is a pl... 371 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,296 I can tell that you're off me. 372 00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,297 - Mr. Spurlock, 373 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,632 do you think the system is broken 374 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:02,633 when it is news 375 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,677 that an African-American man 376 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,888 is a head writer for a network TV show? 377 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,182 - I think I can answer that. 378 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,034 Another question that we could be asking 379 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,643 is why isn't it a big deal 380 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,645 that a woman is a head writer. 381 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:18,316 I would argue that TV is more of a boys club 382 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,234 than a white club. 383 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:25,198 I like your dress. 384 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,700 Do you have to wear a bra with it? 385 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,535 I will let you get back to Toofer. 386 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:30,827 - Who's Toofer? 387 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:31,621 - I don't know. 388 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:35,792 - James, when people think of TGS, 389 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,644 they think of Tracy Jordan, Jenna Maroney, 390 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,003 the mysterious crew deaths, 391 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,415 the Angela lansbury lawsuit. 392 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,715 What they don't think of is you 393 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,051 working long hours late into the night, 394 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,846 giving up any semblance of a life. 395 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,307 Well, James Spurlock, you can finally take your bow. 396 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:55,144 You are right on's Arthur Ashe of the week. 397 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,687 - Okay, you know what? 398 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,481 I get it. I shouldn't be here. 399 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,653 I should have realized that when I saw the masks 400 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,318 and the picture of black Jesus. 401 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,610 - That's me in college. 402 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,694 - All righty. 403 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,321 All right, I said I was leaving. 404 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,990 You don't have to have your boss come and... 405 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,493 That's a security guard. That's not great. 406 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,204 - Sir, representative Bookman is on her way up. 407 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,914 - Jonathan, what did we talk about? 408 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,166 - But, sir, I was born in palo alto. 409 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,644 I will go get her, sir. 410 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,253 A thousand apologies. 411 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,380 - Jack, it's an actor me-mergency. 412 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:25,091 I want to get Kenneth back into the page program, 413 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,968 but whatever this is won't let me. 414 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,260 - What? Who cares? 415 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,666 Jeffrey, just hire Kenneth back. 416 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,004 - But Mr. Donaghy, the only... 417 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,697 - I don't have time for this. Just do it. 418 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,891 - Thank you, Jack. 419 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,102 - Mr. Donaghy. - Representative Bookman, 420 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,394 welcome to NBC. 421 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,562 This is the perfect place 422 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,604 to begin our tour. 423 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,149 Studio 6h, 424 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,901 home to one of NBC's biggest stars, Tracy Jordan. 425 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:44,902 - Mr. Jordan, 426 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,237 Regina Bookman. 427 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,739 We met at the congressional black caucus fundraiser 428 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,175 you crashed your motorcycle into. 429 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,659 - And thank you, representative. 430 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,351 What you're doing is very important. 431 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,705 I can assure you that NBC is committed 432 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,790 to making diversity a priority. 433 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,460 Then just walk away and don't try to kiss her, 434 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,713 Tracy, and don't say that last part. 435 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:10,219 - Hey. You eat from your own table, remember? 436 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,555 Our food is separate. Separate! 437 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,474 - I'll kill you, white devil! 438 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:20,104 - Let's just head this way. 439 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,782 So how was your flight? 440 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,785 Congresswoman, this is Jeffrey Winerslav. 441 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,837 He heads our diversity and hiring initiative. 442 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,956 - What's the latest from H.R., Jeffrey? 443 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,393 - Well, I'd like to tell you that we filled the minority slot 444 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,961 in the NBC page program with a native American fellow 445 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,671 named wants to get sandwiches, 446 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,174 but you made me hire that guy instead. 447 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,134 - Oh, brother. 448 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,426 - Mr. Shoelace, 449 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:53,554 you're being silly. 450 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,307 - You call that a diversity hire? 451 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,599 - Maybe. 452 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,393 That young man is a hillbilly 453 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,812 with a girl's middle name and, because his county 454 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,147 never rejoined the union, 455 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,690 a foreigner. 456 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:09,153 - Now you're untied? Have you two been talking? 457 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:13,407 - There's James. 458 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,285 Attention, everyone. - Oh, give me a break. 459 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,037 - I present you, James Spurlock, 460 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,624 with the 2010 Tavis Smiley 461 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,960 excellence in broadcasting award. 462 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,170 Thank you for making us all smiley. 463 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,008 - Mr. Spurlock, 464 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,094 how long have you been head writer here? 465 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,429 - One day. - Mm-hmm. 466 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:39,725 - And who is the real head writer of this show? 467 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,185 - I am. 468 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,188 - Ah. Tell me, 469 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,650 you obviously lonely and tired woman. 470 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,942 Do you have to put up with this nonsense every day? 471 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,027 - Yes. - You know, 472 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,780 they say 90% of the work 473 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,740 is done by 10% of the people. 474 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,534 Thank you for being that 10%. 475 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:57,826 - You're welcome. 476 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,035 - After what I just saw, 477 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,039 you may be the only person here I respect. 478 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,167 You get an "I met a congresswoman" sticker. 479 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,295 - Thank you. Finally. 480 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,256 That's all I wanted... - This country was founded 481 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,716 on certain principles. 482 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:12,717 - Oh, brother. 483 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,927 - Freedom, troops, 484 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,596 america, flag. 485 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,724 Now I might not know where I'm going with this, 486 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,144 but I know we will get there together! 487 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,733 Who loves pizza? 488 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,237 - Congresswoman, a word. 489 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,244 Okay, fine, 490 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,287 I was putting on a show. 491 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,372 I was tap dancing. 492 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,166 But you made me tap dance. 493 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,294 - Did someone say tap dance? 494 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,041 - What was I supposed to do? 495 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,758 This is a multibillion-dollar deal. 496 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,676 There are thousands of jobs at stake, 497 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,178 hundreds of second homes, 498 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,488 and your ridiculous grandstanding 499 00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,592 could ruin the whole thing, 500 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,767 like luffing your spinnaker during a yachting regatta. 501 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,259 I know I'm not helping myself. 502 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,770 - Sorry. Grandstanding? 503 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,438 Do you not think I believe in this? 504 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,149 - It's just political theater. You're up for reelection. 505 00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,778 - Yes, maybe I get carried away sometimes with my love 506 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,739 for this great country 507 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,949 and the troops and the flagtroops... 508 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,241 - you're doing it. 509 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,326 - And I apologize. 510 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,954 But I only talk this way so I can get people to listen. 511 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,414 I care about these issues. 512 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:26,791 - And so do I. 513 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,626 If you just give me a chance 514 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,479 instead of ambushing me in front of the congress 515 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,213 and my own employees. 516 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,215 You think I don't take diversity seriously? 517 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,800 Only a fool doesn't. 518 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,944 Diversity is the engine that drives this country. 519 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,679 We are an immigrant nation. 520 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,573 The first generation works their fingers to the bone 521 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,597 making things. 522 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,159 The next generation goes to college 523 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,183 and innovates new ideas. 524 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,353 The third generation... 525 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,647 Snowboards and takes improv classes. 526 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,024 We always need people who are pulling themselves up 527 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,651 by their bootstraps. 528 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,069 I did it. 529 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,863 And it's my job to help others do it too. 530 00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,595 - How do I know you really mean that? 531 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,593 - How do I know you're not just grandstanding? 532 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,827 - Oh, I'll show you how. 533 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,162 Unless you give me a real reason not to, 534 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:06,831 I'm voting no on this deal. 535 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,975 - Then I've got three months to change your mind. 536 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:12,002 I'll show you that this company... 537 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,047 - I'm cutting that fat cracker's head off. 538 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,049 - I'm part eskimo. Hate crime! 539 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,720 - Three months, congresswoman. 540 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,011 - We were here first! 541 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,267 - Tray! 542 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,406 - They closed the plant. 543 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,158 I gave those people 30 years. 544 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,368 I didn't even get a watch. 545 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,036 All I got was this pink slip. 546 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,872 - You think you got it hard, 547 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,124 I've got two dates tonight. 548 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,378 - Stanley, even for a dog, you are a dog. 549 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,672 - Yes! Great fix, Grizz. 550 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,016 - Uh-oh. Ain't life a bitch?