1 00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:04,504 Put your helmet on, Pete. This last episode is gonna be a hot mess. 2 00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,172 - How so? - If TGS doesn't do 3 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:09,342 one more show, Tracy gets $30 million. 4 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,429 NBC, the same company that suggested we get flush buddies to save water. 5 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,847 Liz, Tracy has landed. 6 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,473 Of course he has, because if he didn't... 7 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,559 He'd be in breach of contract and wouldn't get the money. 8 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:20,520 Which means he's gonna try to find another way to ruin the show. 9 00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:24,858 Seven years, and Tracy never changed. 10 00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,526 Well, people are who they are, Liz. 11 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,236 [phone buzzes] 12 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,405 [Southern accent] This is Dan Silversmith with Carolina Mutual. 13 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,491 I can't talk right now, I'm with a customer. 14 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:38,705 Hello, Tracy. 15 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:41,166 So one last show... 16 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,417 Pretty crazy, huh? 17 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,710 Indeed, Elizabeth. 18 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,253 I hope nothing goes wrong. 19 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,212 Why would it? 20 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,131 I mean, you're here, fulfilling your contract. 21 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,632 Sure am, L.L. 22 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,135 The only thing that can stop this show is an act of God 23 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,055 or if some genius figured out a way to stall 24 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:59,726 just long enough... [talking slower] 25 00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:02,395 No! Nice try. Get that out of here. 26 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,938 It's the final showdown, Tray. 27 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,565 You're gonna have to do better than that. 28 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:08,818 The night is young. And neither are you. 29 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,368 [theme music plays] 30 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,513 {\an8}Okay, thank you, everybody, for coming in on such short notice. 31 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,389 {\an8}I know some of you have already gotten other jobs. 32 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:39,724 {\an8}Not me. 33 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,852 {\an8}Anyway, we have been given a second chance 34 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,146 {\an8}to end this right, on our terms. 35 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,397 {\an8}So... 36 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,942 {\an8}What are we gonna order for our last free lunch? 37 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:49,943 {\an8}- Momofuku! - Guy Fieri's restaurant, 38 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,569 {\an8}- ironically. - Nothing, thank you. 39 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,655 {\an8}Cerie, whose turn is it to choose lunch today? 40 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,907 {\an8}Who is the picker? 41 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,117 {\an8}You picked last time, Liz, 42 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,744 {\an8}so alphabetically after Lemon comes... 43 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,746 {\an8}Oh, no. 44 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,501 {\an8}[dramatic music builds] 45 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,295 {\an8}Blimpie's. 46 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,547 {\an8}[all groan] 47 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,840 {\an8}- No! - Come on, Lutz! 48 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,133 {\an8}[Liz] Let's solve this, Frank! 49 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,886 {\an8}Hello, Lemon. 50 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,180 {\an8}What are you doing here? I thought you quit. 51 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,932 {\an8}In the cushions of my couch, 52 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:23,268 {\an8}I found this customer-loyalty card 53 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:26,020 {\an8}to a place called Blazer Bar, and I assume it's yours. 54 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,981 {\an8}Thank you. It's Manhattan's largest 55 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,774 {\an8}out-of-business women's blazer dump. 56 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,279 {\an8}Look, I didn't like the way we ended things yesterday. 57 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,780 {\an8}Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do. 58 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,824 I'm sorry we argued, but I'm not myself lately. 59 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,660 I-I quit the job I worked my entire life to get, 60 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,121 and now I feel adrift. 61 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,497 No! We're not doing this. 62 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,207 Today is the last TGS ever. 63 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,210 The point is, I'm going away, probably for a long time. 64 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,461 I assume that's code 65 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,255 for a billionaire's soul-searching trip 66 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,257 to Tan Penis island. Have fun. 67 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,886 We're at the end here, Lemon. We shouldn't hold grudges. 68 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,263 [keys clacking] 69 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,726 For your information, 70 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,644 most of Tan Penis Island was destroyed 71 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,938 in Sting's house fire. 72 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,273 [door closes] 73 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:14,319 [newscast] ...are urged to take this storm severely seriously. 74 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,904 Hey, where are you guys going? 75 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,281 Sorry, Liz, we got to get out of here before the roads close. 76 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,908 There's a "snowicane" coming. 77 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,285 All of New York state, especially midtown Manhattan 78 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,330 between Saks Fifth Avenue and the Variety Deli. 79 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,582 Aw, no. That's right where we are. 80 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,292 According to the national weather service, 81 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:33,004 you should, "Leave work, get in your purple Bentley, 82 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,631 "and be home with your sharks 83 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,633 "before the Tristate area gets slammed 84 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,134 by what is being called 85 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:43,389 'snowicane' white lady name like dorva or something." 86 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,391 Everybody back to work. 87 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,101 Aw, jeez. 88 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,730 What did you do to Al Roker to make him do that? 89 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,483 Let's just say his wife is on the board of a children's hospital, 90 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,818 and they need a celebrity to host their annual gala, 91 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,237 and I threatened to do it. 92 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,405 Do you understand how selfish you're being? 93 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,449 Our crew has been together for seven years, 94 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,534 and tonight is everyone's chance to say goodbye! 95 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,913 So get up on that stage and cut the B.S.! 96 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,498 [door slams] 97 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:10,750 Jenna... 98 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,253 You've been friends with Lemon for a long time. 99 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,796 She and I had an argument yesterday. 100 00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,839 Really? Did Liz scream in your face? 101 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,508 Did you pin her up against the wall? 102 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,551 Were your shirts wet with rain? 103 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,220 I mean, obviously we've had disagreements before, 104 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,681 but this... feels different. 105 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,724 After tonight, I feel like Lemon and I 106 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,852 could go our separate ways and never see each other again. 107 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,354 - Is that crazy? - Not really. 108 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,940 You know Liz. She can hold a grudge. 109 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,650 She did want me to cancel Top Chef 110 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,902 because Colicchio's lunch place changed the toppings 111 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,070 on her favorite salad. 112 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,613 And her friends... 113 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,073 She'll cut people off for doing nothing. 114 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,283 I'm afraid to even tell her 115 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,201 that I Frenched her dad on New Year's. 116 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,202 I don't know what to do. 117 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,246 I've lost so much already. 118 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,331 The past few months have been really hard. 119 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,582 And now Lemon! 120 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,544 You see, I don't have that many people in my life. 121 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:57,088 I spent Christmas alone in the Hamptons, 122 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,549 drinking scotch and throwing firecrackers 123 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,884 at Billy Joel's dog! 124 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,720 [sobs] 125 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:07,515 I'm just in a really bad place, and I don't know how more I can take! 126 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,017 [sobs loudly] 127 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,978 Daddy, please stop crying. 128 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,693 Liz, have you seen Jack today? 129 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:19,902 - No. - He just came 130 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,071 into my dressing room and started crying. 131 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,781 He's in a really bad place, 132 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,116 like when Mickey Rourke... 133 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,743 Okay, I can't do this anymore. 134 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,161 I've never met Mickey Rourke. 135 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,997 What do you want me to do, Jenna... 136 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,540 Shut down the show to make Jack feel better 137 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,583 about bailing on me? 138 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,709 I'm just really worried, 139 00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,377 and if you won't do anything, I will. 140 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,920 On behalf of the network, Ms. Maroney, 141 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,881 I think you should sing at the end of the show tonight. 142 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,383 Wonderful! I'll need ten pianos. 143 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,052 Good luck with, Jake. 144 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,970 Does everybody have to be crazy today? 145 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,180 Beloved coworkers! 146 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,349 Life... It goes by so fast. 147 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,768 We barely look at each other. 148 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,937 I didn't realize all this was going on. 149 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,981 Goodbye. Goodbye, world. 150 00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:00,318 Goodbye, long-hair guy. Goodbye, Richard Esposito. 151 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,780 Go home to your wife and eight beautiful children. 152 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,323 You're all so beautiful. 153 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,533 What the wha...? 154 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,619 I printed out the Blimpie's menu. 155 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,788 Okay, how about this? 156 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,956 Yesterday a bunch of us came in to clean out our desks, 157 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,416 more than half of us. 158 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,459 Yes, a quorum. 159 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,336 And you weren't here, Lutz. 160 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,254 And lunch rule precedent stipulates 161 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,174 that disputes will be resolved by picking a new name. 162 00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,218 Toofer, the can! 163 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,302 Gladly. 164 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,474 What the hell? It's stuck to me. 165 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,059 Oh, God, and it's Lutz! 166 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,936 - [all groan] - Why's it so sticky? 167 00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,437 I wrote it on flypaper. 168 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,939 I'm five steps ahead of you, 169 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:39,398 you sons of bitches! 170 00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:41,692 Blimpie's. 171 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,988 So have you picked out a song for tonight, Ms. Maroney? 172 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:46,948 A perfect song. 173 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,491 As I'm sure you know, 174 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,160 I have returned to my first love, 175 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,247 Broadway, in a musical adaptation 176 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,125 of the film of the novel the Rural Juror. 177 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,626 - I'm sorry... the what? - Listen to this. 178 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,922 ♪ I will never forget you ♪ 179 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,966 ♪ Rural Juror ♪ 180 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,384 What? What is that face? 181 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,593 I don't know, Ms. Maroney. 182 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,929 It just seems like you're faking it. 183 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,431 Well, of course I am. 184 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:12,432 I'm an actor. 185 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,100 And acting is all cheap tricks 186 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,852 that any child or monkey could do. 187 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,187 To act drunk, you just wear two different-sized heels. 188 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,316 And to cry, you just clutch a shard of broken glass. 189 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,278 Ms. Maroney, this is the end of TGS. 190 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,697 You need to show real emotion. 191 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,867 Real emotion? 192 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,368 It's not really my thing. 193 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,454 Maybe if I had something to be sad about. 194 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,621 Are you kidding? 195 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,707 After tonight, you may not see any of us 196 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,041 ever again. 197 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,585 Stop trying to cheer me up. 198 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,086 I need to feel sad. 199 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,005 Then I guess you'll have to figure out something 200 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,007 that you'll miss about this place. 201 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:50,052 But maybe it's not a thing so much as a person. 202 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,804 Well, that's not gonna be easy, Kenneth, 203 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,931 considering I'm the only person who works here. 204 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,145 Why are you wearing that weird necklace? 205 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,439 [scoffs] I always wear this. I want to be buried in it. 206 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,982 So, if anything ever happens to me 207 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,233 and you can't find my body 208 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,861 but you can find this, don't overthink it. 209 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,779 Just bury the necklace and move on. 210 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,448 Okay, why are you wearing Jack's watch? 211 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,325 That's not part of it. Jack just gave this to me. 212 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,368 He's been giving his stuff away all day. 213 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:17,079 - I want you to have this bag of my hair. - Why is he acting so crazy? 214 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,873 He's crying one minute, happy the next, 215 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:20,124 giving away all his stuff. 216 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,543 Sounds like someone's got a case of the old kablooeys. 217 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,046 [imitates gunshot] We've all been there. 218 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,756 You think Jack Donaghy's gonna kill himself? 219 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,258 No way. Jack has never quit anything in his life. 220 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,594 - That's for you. - Except his dream job... 221 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,637 Yesterday. 222 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,972 [imitates gun cocking and gunshot] 223 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,099 Thing is, any fool can kill himself. 224 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,268 You know what a real man does? Fakes his own death. 225 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,269 But you got to be smart. 226 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,855 Plan it slowly over eight or nine years. 227 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:43,898 And then when it's go time, 228 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,025 no big withdrawals from your bank account. 229 00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,568 Instead, the day before it goes down, 230 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,278 you deposit $70. 231 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,740 Why would a guy planning to fake his death deposit $70? He wouldn't! 232 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,283 What the hell are you talking about? 233 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,451 [cell phone vibrating, beeps] 234 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,994 Oops, sorry. Work. 235 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,871 [Southern accent] Did y'all get my fax? 236 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,039 Elizabeth... 237 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,832 Sweet, funny Elizabeth, 238 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:05,711 your light always shown the brightest, baby. 239 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,631 You're coming to the show tonight, right? 240 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,924 I'll be watching. 241 00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:12,301 Not sure from where, but I'll be with you... 242 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,302 In spirit. 243 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,554 [groans] 244 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,598 Weird. 245 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,980 Come on, Tray, leave the dancers alone. 246 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,064 What's going on? 247 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,607 Why aren't you smiling bravely 248 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,318 while Tracy tells you your butt looks like two slippery hams? 249 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,861 [gasps] 250 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,405 Where's Tracy? 251 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,156 We have no idea, Liz. 252 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,409 I've been so distracted lately. 253 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:37,910 Grizz just found out his uncle left him 254 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:38,995 {\an8}a bed-and-breakfast outside Santa Fe. 255 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,913 {\an8}I'm gonna be a real fish out of water. 256 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,582 {\an8}What are you talking about? 257 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,625 {\an8}What... what is that? Does everyone see that? 258 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:46,961 Okay, whatever. 259 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,796 I know you know where Tracy is. 260 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,881 Did he promise you some of the $30 million? 261 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,174 Yes, he promised me... 262 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,467 - $1 million. - $20,000. 263 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,719 Wait. What? 264 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,053 Okay, that's it. 265 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,055 Tray is exactly where you think he is, Liz. 266 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,725 It's the closest thing he has to hiding out in a church. 267 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,143 [gasps] 268 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:07,440 It's five o'clock, where the frak is our lunch? 269 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,859 We can't break him, Liz. He's not human. 270 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,194 Why are you doing this to us? 271 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,696 I'll tell you why! 272 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,532 Because for seven years, you have yelled at me 273 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,701 and turned the lights out on me when I was in the bathroom 274 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,620 and written on me while I was sleeping, 275 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,246 'cause I was Lutz... 276 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,124 Dumb, old, uncool, part-inuit, bisexual, 277 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,417 51-year-old Lutz! 278 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,544 Well, today I am the picker! 279 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,212 And I want you to feel what I felt 280 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,756 for the last seven years... 281 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:35,384 Anger and disappointment and regret! 282 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,678 And when that sandwich slides out of you in a week, 283 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,347 look at it, 284 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,808 because that is Lutz's revenge! 285 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,519 Cerie, for lunch today, I would like to pick Blimpie's. 286 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,271 [grunts] 287 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,814 No! 288 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,483 [clang] 289 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,527 Cerie, Sushi from Nobu 57, 290 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,112 dessert from Make My Cake in Harlem. 291 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,156 I'll be back. I hope. 292 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,783 [cheering] 293 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,242 [sobbing] 294 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,330 [cheering] 295 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,375 ♪ We are young ♪ 296 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,752 Yeah, you're not that young either. Get down, please. 297 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,337 Give it up for Liz Lemon, everybody! 298 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,547 The least molested person in here. 299 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,966 [applause] 300 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,760 I don't even get your play here, Tray. 301 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,471 You're in breach now. You stay here, you don't get the money. 302 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,474 If you think it's about the money, you're even dumber than I look. 303 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,476 So you're just doing this for no reason at all... 304 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,062 For the fun of ruining everyone's chance to say goodbye? 305 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:31,023 I'm doing this because I don't want to say goodbye to everyone. 306 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,820 Anybody who's ever left me in my life just left... 307 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,279 My dad going to get a pack of smokes 308 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,864 and never coming back, 309 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,699 all those foster parents talking about adopting me 310 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,160 and never did. 311 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,746 I don't want tonight's show to happen because... 312 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,998 I don't know how to say goodbye, Liz Lemon. 313 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,792 Now onstage, 314 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,420 feast your eyes on the skank train! 315 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,796 Oh, boy. Okay. 316 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,590 Look, Tray, it's not goodbye forever. 317 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:57,842 I've enjoyed working with you, 318 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,802 and I'm sure we'll get to do it again sometime, 319 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,554 and we're all gonna stay friends. 320 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:02,847 Sorry. Is that the white lady's way 321 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,723 of saying, "I'm going out to get cigarettes"? 322 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,434 'Cause that goodbye was atrocious. 323 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:07,810 Fine. Well, I guess there's a reason 324 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,478 people don't say honest goodbyes... 325 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,938 Because when stuff is coming to an end, 326 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,524 people freak out and they act crazy. 327 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,317 They pick fights, and they pick Blimpie's. 328 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,027 And I don't know what Pete's doing. 329 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,779 So you lie to them. 330 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,240 But if you want a hard-core truth goodbye... 331 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:22,450 Lay it on me. 332 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,659 Okay. 333 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,413 We were forced to be friends because of work. 334 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,166 And we're probably not gonna hang out after this, all right? 335 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,251 You'll say that you're gonna invite me to your house, 336 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,669 and it's never gonna happen. 337 00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,337 And I'll see on TV that it's your birthday, 338 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,839 and I'll forget to call. 339 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:39,341 And working with you is hard. 340 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,551 Tracy, you frustrated me, 341 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,261 and you wore me out. 342 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:45,306 But because the human heart is not properly connected 343 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,057 to the human brain, I love you, 344 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,726 and I'm gonna miss you. 345 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,271 But tonight might be it. 346 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,981 Brutally honest... 347 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,816 I like that. 348 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,112 So you'll come do the show? 349 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,655 I'll come back, L.L. 350 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,992 But we're gonna watch this first. 351 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:05,993 [pumping techno music] 352 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,453 Ride the train, ladies. 353 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:09,705 - [groans] - Ride the train. 354 00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,874 [drill whirring] 355 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,127 Kenneth, what are you doing? 356 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,253 Brian Williams needs a mirror 357 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,963 on the floor of his bathroom. 358 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,549 I guess you want that if you have a glass toilet. 359 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,343 But the show's over after tonight, 360 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,053 so what do you care? 361 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,680 But... my mirror. 362 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,860 Oh my God. 363 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,946 It's all over. 364 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,739 Am I crying? 365 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:48,202 I have no way to see if I'm crying. 366 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,497 Thank God! 367 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,457 Last lunch... 368 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,500 [all chanting] No Lutz! 369 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,544 Last lunch, no Lutz! 370 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,712 Cupcake sandwich! 371 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,131 Cupcake sandwich. 372 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,633 Crap. 373 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,385 Motherhood has made me go soft. 374 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,429 Lutz, the food is here. Come eat... 375 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,391 Cupcake sandwich! Cupcake sandwich! 376 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,143 Oh, God! 377 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,812 Cover the food! 378 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,733 Blimpie's! 379 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,945 Cerie, you heard the man... 380 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,822 Blimpie's. 381 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,201 I was thinking about what you said earlier... 382 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,036 How people get sloppy when they fake their own deaths. 383 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,121 - You said that. - The trick is 384 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,747 to wait for the right moment... 385 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,583 A day when it makes sense to have a drink or two. 386 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,835 I don't know... Maybe a sad occasion 387 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,712 when something's coming to an end. 388 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,589 You let people see you with the glass in your hand. 389 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,550 That way, after the crash, they'll be like, 390 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,010 "I did see him drinking." 391 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,470 God, that idiot. What did he do? 392 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,931 Yeah. That's what they'll say. 393 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,981 No, no. No, no, no. 394 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,983 Don't worry, Lemon. 395 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,527 There is no cause for alarm. 396 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,654 You are watching my video suicide note. 397 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,947 Oh my God. 398 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,616 Try not to blame yourself. 399 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,910 How were you to know that I was in such a dark place 400 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,411 that the smallest thing... 401 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:15,706 For example, a close friend's refusal to reconcile... 402 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:16,999 Would be the final straw. 403 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,334 He killed himself because of me. 404 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:19,835 This is like what happened with my gynecologist 405 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,378 all over again! 406 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,422 I do have a parting gift for you, Lemon. 407 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,174 His phone. I can track his phone. 408 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,759 Go to YouTube and search 409 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:30,596 "Hamlet the mini pig goes downstairs." 410 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,390 "Hamlet the mini pig..." No! Phone first! 411 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:34,767 I'll watch the pig video in the cab. 412 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,645 [man] Thirty seconds, we're on in thirty seconds. 413 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,855 [applause] 414 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,485 Tracy... 415 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,447 I'm really gonna miss you. 416 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:51,075 My Bologna, in all honesty... 417 00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,870 I'm going out for cigarettes now. 418 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,664 And I'll be home in 15 minutes. 419 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,667 [crew member] Tracy and Jenna, 420 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,919 please set yourselves for "the Hitlersons." 421 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,879 My good side for camera. 422 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,841 [applause] 423 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,222 Jack! Wait! 424 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,848 There's so much to live for! 425 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,309 Don't you want to know how Mad Men ends? 426 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,146 Don goes to work for Peggy! 427 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,193 - Hello, Lemon. - What? 428 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,987 I thought you were gonna kill yourself. 429 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,279 That was the idea. 430 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,532 It was extreme, but necessary. 431 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:34,201 I didn't want to be just another person on your grudge list. 432 00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,537 Yeah, which reminds me, why am I still seeing new Top Chefs 433 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,414 with that bald salad-ruiner? 434 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,374 I had ten hours to force you to confront 435 00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,002 the soul-crushing horror of a life without me. 436 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,587 I didn't lie when I said I was going away. 437 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,215 I'm off to discover what makes me happy. 438 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,633 How long will you be gone? 439 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,802 As long as it takes to figure out what's next. 440 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,512 Although I've only been on this boat a minute, 441 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,973 I've already realized two things about myself. 442 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,307 One... 443 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,518 I could totally be a professional boat model. 444 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,563 And, two, I do know one thing that has made my happy 445 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,106 these last seven years. 446 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:08,318 Lemon, there is a word, a once special word, 447 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,903 that's been tragically co-opted 448 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,613 by the romance industrial complex. 449 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,157 And I would hate to use it here 450 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,284 and have you think that I am suggesting 451 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,244 any kind of romantic sentiment, 452 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:20,748 let alone an invitation to scale bone Mountain. 453 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,541 It's a word that comes to us 454 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:25,252 by way of the old high German luba, 455 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,046 from the Latin lubere, 456 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,173 meaning "to be pleasing." 457 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,009 So I am going to use this word to describe 458 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,510 how I feel about you 459 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,180 in the way that our Anglo-Saxon forefathers 460 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:39,892 would have used it in reference to, say... 461 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,560 A hot bowl of bear meat 462 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:44,980 or your enemy's skull... Split. 463 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,440 I love you too, Jack. 464 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:52,488 Thank you, America. Ladies and gentlemen, Jenna Maroney. 465 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,449 ♪ The Irma Luhrmer-Merman murder ♪ 466 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,910 ♪ Turned the bird's word lurid ♪ 467 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,162 ♪ The whir and the purr Of a twirler girl ♪ 468 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,706 ♪ She would the world were demurer ♪ 469 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,500 ♪ The insurer's allure for valor were ♪ 470 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,628 ♪ Pure khari wuhrer ♪ 471 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,923 ♪ One fervid whirl over her turgid error ♪ 472 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,217 ♪ Rural juror ♪ 473 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,719 ♪ Rural juror ♪ 474 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,931 ♪ I will never forget you ♪ 475 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,140 ♪ Rural juror ♪ 476 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,976 ♪ I'll always be glad ♪ 477 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,104 ♪ I met you, rural juror ♪ 478 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,481 This is just the start, Lemon. 479 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,192 Imagine the insights 480 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,320 months on this boat will yield. 481 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:38,200 The next time you see me, I'll be a new man. 482 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,038 Goodbye, Jack Donaghy. 483 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,299 Good God, Lemon. I just figured it all out. 484 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,551 I'm turning around! 485 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,011 - Clear dishwashers! - What? 486 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,805 Clear dishwashers, so you can see 487 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,723 what's going on inside it. 488 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,810 My God, yes! Do that! 489 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,645 It's the best idea I've ever had. 490 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,690 Thank God I took that boat trip. 491 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:13,152 ♪ I will never forget you ♪ 492 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,778 [crying] ♪ Rural juror ♪ 493 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:18,574 ♪ I'll always be glad I met you ♪ 494 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,409 ♪ Rural juror ♪ 495 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,787 [normal voice] ♪ I will never forget you ♪ 496 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,330 ♪ Rural juror ♪ 497 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:29,168 ♪ I'll always be glad I met you ♪ 498 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,419 ♪ Rural juror ♪ 499 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:37,467 ♪ These were the best days of my ♪ 500 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,137 ♪ Flurm ♪ 501 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,610 - Get in the car, Pete. - Paula! 502 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,528 I mean, who's Pete? 503 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,363 I have amnesia! I... 504 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,407 Damn it! I practiced this! 505 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,661 Hi, buddies. 506 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,246 Wait. You're Sam? 507 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,706 [audience laughs] 508 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,125 Don't even say it. 509 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,168 [barks] 510 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,129 {\an8}I want to thank the brilliant Kevin Grisham, 511 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,923 {\an8}the amazing John Stamos, 512 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,300 {\an8}the incomparable judge Judy Scheindlin. 513 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,427 Hey, what are you doing? They called my name. 514 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,763 See ya later, suckers! 515 00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:24,598 Meep-meep! Pyung! 516 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:29,895 {\an8}She'll be like, "What?" 517 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,443 {\an8}[cell phone chimes] 518 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,908 {\an8}Hey, Lemon Ice, could I call you back? 519 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:45,577 {\an8}My dad finally came back from getting cigarettes. 520 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,123 {\an8}Lemon, it's Jack. 521 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,209 {\an8}Don't forget Tracy's birthday. 522 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,502 {\an8}Good morning, Mr. Donaghy. 523 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:55,587 {\an8}I'm your new second assistant. 524 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,798 {\an8}Wait, you're Sam? 525 00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:00,550 {\an8}- Mm-hm. - [laughter] 526 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,269 So the whole show just takes place 527 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,354 here at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. 528 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,273 - Is that right, Ms. Lemon? - Yes, sir. 529 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,275 It's based on stories my great-grandmother told me. 530 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:17,276 I know. 531 00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:19,736 And I love it.