1 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,359 Where is the tape? 2 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,920 Hey, do you know where the tape is? 3 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,439 I gotta have it now. 4 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,680 There is a sofa in the street. 5 00:01:16,239 --> 00:01:18,000 A microwave oven. 6 00:01:18,719 --> 00:01:21,120 Hamburger buns. 7 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,480 Thirteen Roman coins. 8 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,079 Ten East German stamps. 9 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,920 Christina Aguilera's autograph. 10 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,799 Paris Hilton's autograph. 11 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,560 A medal that was awarded- 12 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,280 -to all those who helped to clean up after Chernobyl. 13 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:50,159 Speeches by Leonid Brezhnev on a double LP. 14 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,519 You must wipe the table as well. 15 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,159 Use a dish cloth. 16 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:05,319 Use a little warm water to wipe the table. 17 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:12,159 If I was a boy I would have sex with Paris Hilton all day long. 18 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,759 Then again, I am not a boy. 19 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,680 I am a girl in a boy's body. 20 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:26,120 Teddy bear, monkey, doll, ball. 21 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:34,759 The skin's natural mechanism for cell renewal. 22 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:39,759 An exfoliation for eternally fresh and smooth skin. 23 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,479 A mountain of shoes. 24 00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:45,319 Seven tons of hair. 25 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:51,240 Hamburger buns with, or without sesame seeds. 26 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,439 Immersed in a thousand kilos of eight hour cream,- 27 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,639 -cortisone, loco base. 28 00:02:59,719 --> 00:03:02,039 Airport. 29 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,360 Mother's valium. 30 00:03:04,439 --> 00:03:06,039 Virus. 31 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,000 Pig. 32 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,719 Apartment 28. 33 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,639 One centimetre. 34 00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:15,680 Two. 35 00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:17,360 Three. 36 00:03:17,439 --> 00:03:18,719 Four. 37 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:21,439 Lipstick. 38 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,919 Acetone. 39 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,599 Sugar. 40 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,439 Big, big sausages. 41 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,080 Life is so hard and squared. 42 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,840 I have very sensitive mucous membranes. 43 00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:43,360 Brad Pitt is gonna move to Sweden just for me. 44 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,159 Say goodbye to your mother. 45 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:52,319 There is your son with deep cuts in his head. 46 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:59,400 The beautiful, wonderful, fantastic girl who lives inside you. 47 00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:03,759 Your inner little me. 48 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,560 The worlds most beautiful, most glamorous little me- 49 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,840 -who goes to all the parties. 50 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,199 The 19th of June. 51 00:04:15,719 --> 00:04:19,120 I sleep like a tree with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen- 52 00:04:19,199 --> 00:04:21,240 -on either side of me. 53 00:04:21,319 --> 00:04:25,160 A belt around my neck 20 meters. 54 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,279 Separate faeces from urine. 55 00:04:30,199 --> 00:04:32,839 One times one and a half meters. 56 00:04:34,639 --> 00:04:38,519 Chemicals, electricity. 57 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,800 A glowing cigarette in my ear, naked against each other. 58 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:51,120 I'll cry if you do not wanna be my friend. 59 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,560 I'll be unhappy for the rest of my life- 60 00:04:58,639 --> 00:05:00,839 -if you do not wanna be my friend. 61 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,959 It doesn't matter that I have only seen you in the movies. 62 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,920 I love you anyway. 63 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,439 I cannot live without you. 64 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,680 I am hiding within you. 65 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,279 I have nowhere else to go. 66 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,480 I crept inside you. 67 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,000 And got stuck. 68 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,600 I am your child. 69 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,480 Your little baby. 70 00:05:30,319 --> 00:05:32,439 No, you are not my child. 71 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:35,720 You are just some fucking growth. 72 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,800 I'll cut you out like an appendix. 73 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,079 Will you stop groping me. 74 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,920 I don't want you anymore. 75 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,000 You do not exist. 76 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,879 It's over. 77 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:53,000 And then there was this idiot who hacked into my cell phone. 78 00:05:53,079 --> 00:05:57,920 And took all the pictures I had in it and put them on the internet. 79 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,519 243 grams of bread. 80 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,800 36 grams of meat. 81 00:06:04,759 --> 00:06:07,319 18 grams of fat. 82 00:06:07,399 --> 00:06:10,040 11 grams of corn flakes. 83 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,720 8 grams of sugar. 84 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,199 3 grams of cheese. 85 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,680 5 grams of marmalade. 86 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,519 5 grams of coffee substitute. 87 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:27,160 They said on TV that I had a migraine attack. 88 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,720 They said that I had checked into a new hotel. 89 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,759 A chequered blanket. 90 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,160 A vaccine certificate. 91 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,839 A concrete foundation. 92 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:43,519 Today we know that all matters- 93 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:48,639 -built up of incredibly tiny building stones called atoms. 94 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,160 Have you ever worked at a rest home? 95 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,800 Do you know why popcorn pops? 96 00:06:58,399 --> 00:07:02,879 Will you please get the knife out now? 97 00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:06,120 Will you cut it off now? 98 00:07:06,199 --> 00:07:09,000 You fucking retard. 99 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,399 I take anything I get my hands on. 100 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,000 Food, 101 00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:15,639 Love, 102 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,920 Drugs, 103 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,720 The subway, 104 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,920 C-section, 105 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,959 Anything. 106 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,720 Pizza parlour. 107 00:07:28,079 --> 00:07:30,199 Why should I say no? 108 00:07:30,279 --> 00:07:32,040 You only live once. 109 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,279 I saw this thing on TV about Sudan. 110 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:42,759 That's when I decided to go there, try to help stop the war. 111 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,680 But while I was sitting in the taxi,- 112 00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:49,279 -I noticed the driver was looking at me. 113 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,120 And I realised he recognized me. 114 00:07:52,199 --> 00:07:54,920 And he thought that I was cute. 115 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,240 So then I asked if he wanted to have sex with me. 116 00:07:58,319 --> 00:07:59,879 And he did. 117 00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:01,879 So then he got to. 118 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,519 And unfortunately I missed my plane. 119 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,439 So I never made it to Sudan. 120 00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:13,399 But as soon as the filming of this movie is done, I'll go there. 121 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,480 Cause it's so horrible. 122 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,920 There are people dying all the time. 123 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,600 I clean and I clean. 124 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:29,519 Where does all this dust come from? 125 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,200 Why should I clean when there are people dying? 126 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:36,639 What does it matter if I clean. 127 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,519 I can't watch TV anymore. 128 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,840 Mucous membranes. 129 00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:44,799 Connective tissue. 130 00:08:44,879 --> 00:08:47,279 Placenta. 131 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,679 The newly installed shower. 132 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,000 The mouth. 133 00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:55,080 The drain. 134 00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,399 The slime plug. 135 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,159 French fries. 136 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,519 Mayonnaise. 137 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,000 I remember nothing. 138 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,759 I only remember that I felt sick, and went out to get a little air. 139 00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:12,600 Then the rest is blank. 140 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:19,320 I have a cloudy memory of sitting in a taxi- 141 00:09:19,399 --> 00:09:21,360 -with a lot of people that I didn't know. 142 00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,399 They where laughing at me. 143 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,879 They made fun of my clothes. 144 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,559 And then I think I threw up all over the floor of the taxi. 145 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,440 Then there was a voice that said: 146 00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:40,519 Be welcomed, oh blessed one. 147 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,000 The lord is with you. 148 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,480 I must be some kind of magnet. 149 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,240 I cannot go to the grocery store to buy an apple- 150 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,120 -without all apples flying at me. 151 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,960 And all the faces, and the entire floor. 152 00:09:59,039 --> 00:10:02,320 And I think about the carpenter. 153 00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:04,480 The guy who made sure there was a floor- 154 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,519 -that I could walk on in the store. 155 00:10:08,639 --> 00:10:11,360 What if he's dead or sick. 156 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:17,039 What if his daughter is ugly and wears glasses. 157 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,879 And no guys want to go out with her. 158 00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:22,639 But just today there was a guy- 159 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,320 -who asked if she wanted to go out with him. 160 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:27,440 And for a second she was so happy,- 161 00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:29,799 -because she thought he really meant it. 162 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,200 But it was just a joke. 163 00:10:32,279 --> 00:10:35,200 His friends where around the corner laughing. 164 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,679 It feels like the whole world is forcing its way inside me. 165 00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:47,519 Leaving something inside. 166 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,799 Something that chafes inside me. 167 00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:56,240 That scrapes inside my stomach. 168 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,879 Like a little baby. 169 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,039 A little parasite. 170 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,320 I think I am the Virgin Mary. 171 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:11,919 When I walk down the street everyone looks at me. 172 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,559 It's because I'm famous. 173 00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:16,519 They whisper my name. 174 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,279 Look, did you see who that was? 175 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,639 But I just walk past. 176 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,399 I pretend that I didn't hear. 177 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,679 But I know exactly what they are saying. 178 00:11:28,759 --> 00:11:31,360 I know exactly what they want. 179 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,480 They want to attack me and tear me into pieces. 180 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,120 My particular interests are: 181 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,080 Celebrities, 182 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,519 The second world war, 183 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,600 Collecting different things, 184 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,120 Paris Hilton, 185 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,200 Different methods of torture, 186 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,240 Different dead porn stars, 187 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,360 Like for example Savannah, 188 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,080 God, 189 00:12:00,159 --> 00:12:01,600 Jesus, 190 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,000 Mary, 191 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,720 As well as various catastrophes. 192 00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:11,039 Like for example nuclear disasters. 193 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,399 Like for example the nuclear disaster at Chernobyl. 194 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,919 I can see it all before me. 195 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,080 Inside my head. 196 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,759 There is like a box labelled catastrophes. 197 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:33,399 And inside that box there is another labelled nuclear disasters. 198 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:40,120 And inside that box there is a third labelled Chernobyl. 199 00:12:42,519 --> 00:12:45,679 Than I take a carton of yogurt. 200 00:12:45,759 --> 00:12:49,720 And the yogurt symbolize all of my life force. 201 00:12:51,159 --> 00:12:57,159 Then I pour all the yogurt, I mean, my life force. 202 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,200 Into the box labelled Chernobyl. 203 00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:04,639 Because I'm going to cool the reactor with the yogurt. 204 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,960 And everything turns white. 205 00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:11,360 Because I am a superhero who helps mankind. 206 00:13:13,399 --> 00:13:17,120 Gay people are having children. 207 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,879 What is the point of being gay. 208 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,000 If you're going to live just like everyone else. 209 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:27,039 Everyone thinks I am gay, but I am not. 210 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:31,840 They called me a faggot when I was seven years old. 211 00:13:31,919 --> 00:13:34,840 But I borrowed a book from the library,- 212 00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:38,200 -so I know that I am something else. 213 00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:40,639 I am a woman. 214 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:46,720 Which is not really the same as being gay, is it? 215 00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:50,600 The fact is I hate gays. 216 00:13:51,759 --> 00:13:57,559 I think homosexuality has become a cancerous tumour on society. 217 00:13:57,639 --> 00:14:00,120 You are not allowed to say that. 218 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,200 But I am saying it anyway. 219 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:09,559 Stop, nobody listens when you say things like that. 220 00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:11,759 You just make yourself ridiculous. 221 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:17,759 Then I took a stroll in town wearing my new clothes. 222 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:22,879 I followed a guy, who was so drunk he could hardly walk. 223 00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:26,440 Then I took efamol. 224 00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:30,320 Highly concentrated evening primrose oil. 225 00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:35,759 Essential fatty acids that are important for my hormonal balance- 226 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,639 -and for my skin. 227 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,240 A 1000 mg per capsule. 228 00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,600 Sulphur. 229 00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:47,879 Ammonia. 230 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,799 Hi honey. 231 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,159 Where are you? 232 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,000 An egg cup. 233 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,120 A city built out of ribs. 234 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,519 Why can't I, who according to all the votes- 235 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:08,159 -is one of the sexiest women in the world, hang on to my men. 236 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,639 Yes please. 237 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,720 Farewell. 238 00:15:12,799 --> 00:15:15,240 Nice to have met you. 239 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,320 See you soon. 240 00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:19,720 Goodbye. 241 00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:23,279 Then I lived in Madrid for two years. 242 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,320 I lived like a transvestite, but I was not a transvestite. 243 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:34,039 I lived in a tiny, tiny apartment with a guy from Romania. 244 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,440 I think he was a gypsy. 245 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,559 But he only admitted it once. 246 00:15:41,639 --> 00:15:45,120 When he was so high, so high. 247 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,679 So that his head was so high up in the clouds,- 248 00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:52,000 -he could poke God in the butt. 249 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,960 That's when he said he was a gypsy. 250 00:15:56,039 --> 00:16:02,000 Later I walked back and forth outside Gucci, and Prada and Dior. 251 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,879 Hoping David Beckham would come out. 252 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,399 And then I would trip. 253 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,039 And he would help me up. 254 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,720 And then he would see who I was. 255 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,759 And then he would see that I was his lost... little boy. 256 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,440 What are you waiting for? 257 00:16:24,519 --> 00:16:27,279 For me to jump out of the window? 258 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,360 Is that what you are waiting for? 259 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,960 Then your problem is solved. 260 00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:36,200 Or should I cut it off myself? 261 00:16:36,279 --> 00:16:38,240 Is that what you want? 262 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:43,120 Won't you please take out the knife now? 263 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,000 Please. 264 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,480 Can't we do it now, today. 265 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,039 Because today I have the most beautiful eyes in the whole world. 266 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,360 I'm on the cover of all the magazines. 267 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,200 Today I can do anything. 268 00:17:01,279 --> 00:17:04,160 Here comes Whitney Houston. 269 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:08,200 I'll help her get on track again. 270 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:12,319 I have my own apartment. 271 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,599 I can go out with as many guys as I like. 272 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,759 No you cannot. 273 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:20,480 Yes I can. 274 00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:24,279 The subway is full of idiots who are going to die. 275 00:17:26,039 --> 00:17:29,720 But then the next day after you had come back to earth again- 276 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,240 -you denied the whole thing. 277 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,880 He said he wasn't a gypsy at all. 278 00:17:37,759 --> 00:17:40,079 Than he said he was from Hungary. 279 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,960 But I knew he wasn't. 280 00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:44,480 Because I had licked his passport. 281 00:17:44,559 --> 00:17:47,720 I licked and I licked. 282 00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:51,519 And could tell by the taste that it was not a Hungarian passport. 283 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,079 I am actually a woman. 284 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,920 I don't want it anymore. 285 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,759 I don't want to have a Willie between my legs. 286 00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:04,720 It does not feel very nice to be a woman- 287 00:18:04,799 --> 00:18:08,559 -and have a huge Willie hanging between my legs. 288 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,359 If you don't take it off now I'll just cut it off myself. 289 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,319 I don't wanna talk to anymore counsellors. 290 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,839 Bloody pissant. 291 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,359 Stop pissing in my stomach. 292 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,880 Fine, so get rid of me so you don't have to deal with me. 293 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,960 And I don't have to deal with you. 294 00:18:30,039 --> 00:18:32,480 I don't wanna be inside you any longer. 295 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,680 I don't wanna be in this movie. 296 00:18:37,759 --> 00:18:43,119 I was at a party and my breast fell out... and everyone laughed at me. 297 00:18:44,519 --> 00:18:48,839 And they thought I had let my breast pop out on purpose. 298 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:53,440 Because I wanted the photographer to take tons of pictures of me. 299 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,720 But it was really a mistake. 300 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,319 Cause my dress was so small. 301 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:07,319 I don't know how it happened, it was not on purpose. 302 00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:11,000 I miss you so much. 303 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,319 I love you. 304 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,240 I can't live without you. 305 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,200 But what are you talking about? 306 00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:24,720 What do you mean, miss me. 307 00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:26,960 I'm here with you. 308 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,799 Everyone thinks I have breast implants. 309 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,359 But I don't. 310 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,079 Why doesn't anyone believe me? 311 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,599 Won't you please let me go? 312 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,400 Please. 313 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,400 I don't wanna be locked up inside this disgusting body anymore. 314 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,200 Everything bleeds, and stinks. 315 00:19:52,279 --> 00:19:54,000 Snot runs. 316 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,440 Urine flows. 317 00:19:57,519 --> 00:20:00,759 I sit in front of the TV wearing a diaper. 318 00:20:00,839 --> 00:20:05,599 The school cafeteria is full of fools who are going to die. 319 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,559 Michael Bronson you are going to die. 320 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:14,519 Jonathan Metler you are going to die. 321 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,880 Susan Voight you've ruined my life. 322 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,319 Do you get it? You are gonna die. 323 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,160 Do you get it? 324 00:20:28,079 --> 00:20:31,119 Why is everything so sad? 325 00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:37,119 Why is everything, everything, everything so sad? 326 00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:42,000 Why do we live such short lives? 327 00:20:43,079 --> 00:20:45,880 Why can't we go on forever? 328 00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:50,519 I don't wanna look like this. 329 00:20:50,599 --> 00:20:52,519 I don't want these thighs. 330 00:20:54,599 --> 00:20:57,279 I eat six raisins for lunch. 331 00:20:58,599 --> 00:21:01,000 My skin smells like aspirin. 332 00:21:01,079 --> 00:21:04,519 There are such strange rumours about me. 333 00:21:04,599 --> 00:21:07,119 Five small embryos. 334 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,680 One transformer. 335 00:21:09,759 --> 00:21:12,359 One bathroom mat. 336 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,480 Hello. 337 00:21:14,559 --> 00:21:17,160 Nail fell off. 338 00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:22,440 I don't think that people understand what it means- 339 00:21:22,519 --> 00:21:24,920 -to be as famous as I am. 340 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,640 Imagine that as soon as you open the door,- 341 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,359 -hundreds of photographers start taking pictures. 342 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,759 There is no escape. 343 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,880 When you're on vacation they are there. 344 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,960 When you go out to eat they are there. 345 00:21:47,279 --> 00:21:49,519 When you are sitting in your car crying,- 346 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,599 -they are out there in the dark. 347 00:21:52,599 --> 00:21:56,079 Trying to kill you with their lightning flashes. 348 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,599 It's like prison. 349 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,799 It's a nightmare. 350 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,240 But it's a nightmare you become addicted to. 351 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,039 It's like heroin. 352 00:22:07,839 --> 00:22:11,160 If you stop you feel even worse. 353 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,359 You lie on the floor shaking. 354 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,319 You can't get up. 355 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,720 You throw up on the floor. 356 00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:22,240 You put your hand in your own vomit. 357 00:22:22,319 --> 00:22:24,839 You didn't mean to. 358 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:29,200 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. 359 00:22:29,279 --> 00:22:31,160 Sorry. 360 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,920 It just happened. 361 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,079 I can't control my movements. 362 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,559 I try to get up but fall down again. 363 00:22:44,039 --> 00:22:47,680 I really prefer organic products. 364 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:53,279 After a day at work with enormous amounts of make up on my face. 365 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:58,480 I wash it all away with Shu Uemuras Cleansing Oil. 366 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,319 My skin feels both smooth and clean. 367 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,920 Salmon. 368 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,720 Strawberries. 369 00:23:06,799 --> 00:23:08,680 Oat meal. 370 00:23:08,759 --> 00:23:11,000 Nuts. 371 00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:12,920 Chicken. 372 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,559 Oranges. 373 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,799 Carrots. 374 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,240 Omega 3 foundation. 375 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,720 Lip-gloss Sun Powder Melon. 376 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,559 Lavender Ylang-ylang. 377 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:35,720 If I don't get enough rest I always use midnight secret from Guerlain. 378 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:42,480 Le Crayon Khol Hydro Power Eye Shadow. 379 00:23:42,559 --> 00:23:45,720 Chrystal balm meteorites. 380 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:48,599 Blush delicieux light drops. 381 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,680 Glam shine microshadow. 382 00:23:51,759 --> 00:23:54,839 Earth spirits star gloss. 383 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,599 Sheer radiance yogurt massage. 384 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,279 Anti-age around my mouth. 385 00:24:03,079 --> 00:24:06,559 24 hour non stop moisturizing. 386 00:24:07,559 --> 00:24:12,279 5000 litres of thermal water in a little jar. 387 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:18,039 The party is visible between my eyebrows and my forehead reveals. 388 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:24,160 Vertical wrinkles on my cheeks as a result of breathing problems. 389 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,960 Micro cushions seeps into the nail beds. 390 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,319 My skin is rejuvenated from within. 391 00:24:34,079 --> 00:24:36,440 I changed in the taxi. 392 00:24:36,519 --> 00:24:39,599 I love champagne. 393 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,000 I have the world's most beautiful eyes. 394 00:24:43,079 --> 00:24:47,279 No, I'm sorry, I can't speak any longer, I must go now. 395 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,960 There are 30 thousand people who die of hunger every day. 396 00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:53,759 And there is an old man who has promised me 500 dollars- 397 00:24:53,839 --> 00:24:55,480 -if I spend the entire night with him. 398 00:24:55,559 --> 00:24:59,880 And with that kind of money I can save the lives of one or two people. 399 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,880 Yes, I know that Bamse is a cartoon character. 400 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,240 I know that he was created by Rune Andréasson. 401 00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:14,079 People should try to be as kind as Bamse. 402 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,640 Don't you agree? 403 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,720 People should always try to be kind. 404 00:25:22,799 --> 00:25:27,200 That was the purpose of Rune Andréasson's comic book. 405 00:25:27,279 --> 00:25:31,839 If not, then all Rune Andréasson's work is in vain. 406 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:36,079 That is true. It is all in vain. 407 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,160 My mouth is full of gelatine. 408 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,079 Huge bathtubs full of boiling animal skeletons. 409 00:25:45,799 --> 00:25:48,160 My blood is full of fat. 410 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,240 There are so many things you have to do. 411 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,599 Wash the dishes, 412 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,240 Laundry, 413 00:25:56,319 --> 00:25:57,880 Go to the bathroom. 414 00:25:59,519 --> 00:26:02,880 You gotta have money so you can pay the bills. 415 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,000 Suddenly it's like I can see into the future. 416 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:14,960 I dreamed that Brad Pitt broke up with Jennifer Aniston. 417 00:26:15,039 --> 00:26:19,119 He got tired of her because she was no longer Rachel. 418 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:24,480 And then in the morning I read that they where going to get a divorce. 419 00:26:25,599 --> 00:26:29,880 So then I thought that everything I dream becomes reality. 420 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:34,160 And I became so scared that I have not dared to go to sleep since then. 421 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,319 There is so much hate in my love. 422 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,759 There is so much love in my hate. 423 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,079 I wore the most tasteless dress of them all. 424 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,480 At P. Diddys 35th birthday party. 425 00:26:48,559 --> 00:26:51,200 I want you to stay with me. 426 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,279 I'm so scared that something will happen to you. 427 00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,440 It's so dangerous out there. 428 00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:03,319 People run right into each other. 429 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,400 Like panes of glass. 430 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,920 They brake and cut each other. 431 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,279 There are so many drugs that they can drop in your drink- 432 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,680 -if you turn your head away just for a second. 433 00:27:19,319 --> 00:27:22,279 Then you fall asleep and they rape you. 434 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,519 And take all of your things. 435 00:27:24,599 --> 00:27:26,359 And put you in prison. 436 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:31,160 And I may only see you from the other side of a thick window- 437 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,000 -made of armoured glass. 438 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,319 I cannot touch you. 439 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,960 But suddenly Britney Spears appears. 440 00:27:39,039 --> 00:27:42,400 She lifts you up and tells you not to be afraid. 441 00:27:43,559 --> 00:27:47,279 She opens her mouth and puts you in. 442 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,200 And then she swallows. 443 00:27:49,279 --> 00:27:51,880 And down you go into her stomach. 444 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,680 And suddenly I'm in Romania. 445 00:27:56,079 --> 00:28:00,079 How the hell did all of Romania get inside Britney Spears? 446 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,839 Good God I've become so fat. 447 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,680 You are not fat. 448 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,119 I used to be so very thin. 449 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,000 You are still thin. 450 00:28:13,079 --> 00:28:15,039 I've become so fat. 451 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,519 I think I'm pregnant. 452 00:28:17,599 --> 00:28:19,759 But you can't be. 453 00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:21,640 Yes, I'm pregnant. 454 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,640 But you can't be. 455 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,160 Yes I can. 456 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,279 But we haven't slept with each other. 457 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,200 No, I know. It's a miracle. 458 00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:40,119 A bunch of paparazzi hiding in the bushes around the stable. 459 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:44,599 Where the virgin Mary is just about to give birth to Jesus- 460 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,400 -they are trying to get a shot of her tits. 461 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,240 Oh God what a turn on. 462 00:28:51,319 --> 00:28:56,680 This is the best party I've ever been to, it never ends. 463 00:28:56,759 --> 00:29:01,079 Everyone just dies all the time, like flies. 464 00:29:02,079 --> 00:29:06,160 This is the happiest moment of my life: 465 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,839 I'm sitting at the kitchen table playing table hockey with my father. 466 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,839 I'm the Soviet Union, he's Sweden. 467 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,119 It's evening. It's dark outside. 468 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,400 A lamp shines above the table. 469 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,839 It's just my father and I. 470 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,240 It is as if we were embraced in a cocoon of light,- 471 00:29:27,319 --> 00:29:31,599 -and outside our little cocoon there's a great darkness. 472 00:29:33,559 --> 00:29:35,440 And then there was this man,- 473 00:29:35,519 --> 00:29:38,240 -who is in charge of the County Health Department. 474 00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:43,160 He wanted to bathe and wash me until I was really, really clean. 475 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,319 I cost 200 dollars each time. 476 00:29:48,839 --> 00:29:51,240 And now there is like this crazy custody battle,- 477 00:29:51,319 --> 00:29:53,839 -because nobody wants me anymore. 478 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:58,400 Not the psych ward nor welfare nor mother nor father. 479 00:30:01,079 --> 00:30:04,240 Which is why I have to live here at the pizza parlour- 480 00:30:04,319 --> 00:30:07,400 -until they decide who is to have me. 481 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,480 But the man who owns the pizza parlour will sell it soon. 482 00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:15,039 And then I don't know where to go. 483 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,440 You'll just have to live- 484 00:30:17,519 --> 00:30:20,480 -inside your grandmother's disgusting hip-replacement. 485 00:30:21,839 --> 00:30:23,279 So totally fucking disgusting. 486 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,680 Won't you please just come here and give me a hug. 487 00:30:28,759 --> 00:30:30,880 I'm so sad about everything. 488 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:37,519 I'm so sad about how we live our lives and the state of the world. 489 00:30:39,359 --> 00:30:42,480 But I am also very satisfied with being as sad as I am. 490 00:30:44,359 --> 00:30:48,640 I enjoy distancing myself from it all. 491 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:55,799 For then I become a little superior and I am exalted like a saint. 492 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:59,000 But then I must punish myself. 493 00:30:59,079 --> 00:31:03,319 Then I must force myself to eat four bags of chips. 494 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,720 I'm dilated five centimetres. 495 00:31:06,799 --> 00:31:09,000 You stick your finger in the hole. 496 00:31:10,039 --> 00:31:13,640 I reach inside you with all of my arms. 497 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,000 You are dilated six centimetres. 498 00:31:17,079 --> 00:31:19,960 A black box inside your heart. 499 00:31:21,519 --> 00:31:24,920 There is a cake in there, waiting for you. 500 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,960 I take vitamins every day. 501 00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:30,119 I go to the hospital. 502 00:31:31,319 --> 00:31:36,160 How can someone as little as I am have room for something so big? 503 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,440 How can someone as dirty as I am have room for something so clean? 504 00:31:41,079 --> 00:31:44,000 I go to the hospital every day. 505 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:49,119 I sit in the waiting room until they close. 506 00:31:49,839 --> 00:31:51,960 I have nowhere else to go. 507 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:57,039 God transform this prayer into fire. 508 00:31:57,119 --> 00:31:58,720 I just want to dance. 509 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,559 But there is only ice in the freezer. 510 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,519 A bunch of people dressed as animals. 511 00:32:05,599 --> 00:32:07,680 A doll's carriage. 512 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,720 A kettle. 513 00:32:09,799 --> 00:32:12,200 A transformer. 514 00:32:12,759 --> 00:32:15,960 You are the world's best mother. 515 00:32:16,039 --> 00:32:18,160 I have got a touch of diarrhoea. 516 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,079 Hello everyone. 517 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:26,279 I shall begin by showing you some of my latest purchases from eBay. 518 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,880 This is something very special. 519 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,079 It's a pair of black leather boots which belonged to Savannah. 520 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,240 The legendary porn star Savannah. 521 00:32:38,319 --> 00:32:40,559 Who I love very, very much. 522 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,839 I have always had a soft spot- 523 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,359 -for a certain type of beautiful but tragic women. 524 00:32:48,119 --> 00:32:51,319 I always identified myself with them very strongly,- 525 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,039 -and so very much more,- 526 00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:58,519 -not just identified myself with them,- 527 00:32:58,599 --> 00:33:01,119 -I have also felt that after death- 528 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:06,119 -their souls have moved into me and now continue to live inside me. 529 00:33:08,359 --> 00:33:11,839 These boots are the most expensive I have ever bought. 530 00:33:13,319 --> 00:33:17,640 In second place is this letter from Auschwitz. 531 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,160 It is a prisoner writing to the one he loves. 532 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,680 He writes: 533 00:33:23,759 --> 00:33:25,720 You my sun. 534 00:33:25,799 --> 00:33:27,519 The only one in my life. 535 00:33:29,759 --> 00:33:33,319 I am healthy and I am well. 536 00:33:34,599 --> 00:33:39,000 In third place is this German helmet from the second world war. 537 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:45,079 In fourth place is a collection of letters addressed to Savannah. 538 00:33:46,119 --> 00:33:48,920 They are written by various admirers. 539 00:33:50,359 --> 00:33:53,000 Dear Miss Savannah. 540 00:33:53,079 --> 00:33:56,240 You epitomize American beauty. 541 00:33:56,319 --> 00:33:59,799 Blond hair, baby blue eyes,- 542 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:05,119 -and an ass that any man or woman would sell their soul to possess. 543 00:34:05,799 --> 00:34:10,800 An ass that any man or woman would sell their soul to possess. 544 00:34:12,639 --> 00:34:15,760 And here is a guy asking her for help. 545 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:21,280 I am wondering if I am missing out on something. 546 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,760 Some days I get a strange feeling. 547 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,320 I lie in bed and wonder if this is it. 548 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,840 If this is all there is to life. 549 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:40,239 If this is all there is to life, I might as well put an end to it. 550 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,280 But then when I am together with someone- 551 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,920 -and we are consumed by passion,- 552 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,239 -then it feels as though I am on top of the world. 553 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:55,239 Like I own the world. 554 00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:01,320 How can one go from feeling so empty to feeling so wonderful? 555 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:04,800 Do you understand what I am saying? 556 00:35:07,119 --> 00:35:09,360 What am I missing? 557 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,639 What am I missing? 558 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,880 Do you have feelings like these? 559 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,559 And how do you deal with them? 560 00:35:19,199 --> 00:35:23,679 Please write me at the above address and tell me what you think. 561 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,760 It would be greatly appreciated. 562 00:35:28,119 --> 00:35:30,920 I sit alone in my hotel room. 563 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,800 I have to learn my lines for tomorrow. 564 00:35:37,039 --> 00:35:40,239 I would really prefer to go out to see the city 565 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,639 But it is such a challenge. 566 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,960 So many people crowd around me. 567 00:35:45,039 --> 00:35:48,639 It just turns into chaos. I can't stand it. 568 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,639 I stay in my room and order something from room service. 569 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,880 Just a small salad. 570 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,679 I do not know who I am. 571 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,639 I do not know where I come from. 572 00:36:04,199 --> 00:36:06,360 I do not know who my mother is. 573 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,480 I do not know who my father is. 574 00:36:11,119 --> 00:36:14,960 Someone left me outside an orphanage in a basket. 575 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,280 I am terrified. 576 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,760 What am I doing? 577 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,920 I want to go home. 578 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,239 This is my home. 579 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,400 This is all I have. 580 00:36:32,119 --> 00:36:34,719 This is my bed. 581 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,519 This is my toilet. 582 00:36:37,599 --> 00:36:39,320 My bathtub. 583 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,440 My TV. 584 00:36:41,519 --> 00:36:43,719 My remote control. 585 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,400 My mirror. 586 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,760 Dilated seven centimetres. 587 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,960 I can't close the lid. 588 00:36:53,039 --> 00:36:55,480 Everything just pours in. 589 00:36:55,559 --> 00:36:59,960 The TV screen, the sink. 590 00:37:00,039 --> 00:37:02,960 Those tiny tiny bottles of alcohol. 591 00:37:03,039 --> 00:37:08,440 The room key. The do not disturb sign. 592 00:37:08,519 --> 00:37:12,760 All of the movements from those who have stayed in this room,- 593 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,800 -are now passing through me,- 594 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,920 -all of their thoughts are forced into me. 595 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,920 Their breath is forced into me. 596 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Their dreams. 597 00:37:24,079 --> 00:37:27,079 I must lie motionless like this. 598 00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:31,639 Cause if I lie motionless, completely still,- 599 00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:35,199 -the thoughts and dreams will pass right through me,- 600 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,280 -and out of me. 601 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,679 If I relax and don't resist, then they run out of me. 602 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,719 They pass through me. 603 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,039 And continue out into space. 604 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,639 But if I make just the slightest movement,- 605 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,360 -then the thoughts get stuck inside me,- 606 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,559 -and they bounce around inside me like a ball in a pinball machine. 607 00:38:01,639 --> 00:38:04,559 And continue to bounce forever. 608 00:38:07,079 --> 00:38:09,280 And then I break. 609 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,760 I crack from within. 610 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,079 My skin breaks apart. 611 00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:15,880 No. 612 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,079 I am not a celebrity. 613 00:38:19,159 --> 00:38:21,760 I am not an actress. 614 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,079 I just pretend. 615 00:38:24,159 --> 00:38:27,199 I work here at the hotel. 616 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,400 I clean rooms. 617 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:33,239 And sometimes when a room is empty I pretend that I am staying there,- 618 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:38,559 -and that I am a famous actress who is making a movie. 619 00:38:38,639 --> 00:38:43,079 And during the filming she is staying here at this hotel. 620 00:38:43,159 --> 00:38:47,360 I am completely torn to shreds and radioactive between my legs. 621 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,880 I am covered by a thick layer of lead and concrete. 622 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,400 No one can come close to me. 623 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:58,119 Cause they will get cancer and their skin will fall off. 624 00:38:58,199 --> 00:39:00,119 There is cancer everywhere. 625 00:39:00,199 --> 00:39:02,599 There is cancer in your blood. 626 00:39:02,679 --> 00:39:05,760 And you cannot breathe. 627 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,280 And when you cough you spit up blood. 628 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,599 And your skin is totally black. 629 00:39:10,679 --> 00:39:12,599 And there is blood coming from your ears. 630 00:39:12,679 --> 00:39:16,159 And there is blood coming from your nose. 631 00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,760 And your teeth are falling out of your mouth. 632 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,599 And your hair is coming out in pieces. 633 00:39:21,679 --> 00:39:23,920 And your nails are coming loose. 634 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,440 And there is blood coming from your eyes. 635 00:39:26,519 --> 00:39:28,480 You have seen too much. 636 00:39:29,679 --> 00:39:36,119 The 11th of July 1994. I have thought so much about that day. 637 00:39:37,199 --> 00:39:41,800 Savannah was in a car crash and got a cut on her face. 638 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:46,760 She was completely distraught and thought her career was over. 639 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,480 And then she lost the will to live and went home- 640 00:39:49,559 --> 00:39:51,480 -and shot herself in the head. 641 00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,760 I wish that I had been there. 642 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,119 I would have licked up all of your blood. 643 00:39:59,199 --> 00:40:01,719 Sucked up your brain from the floor. 644 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,800 And spit it back into your head again. 645 00:40:05,039 --> 00:40:07,119 No can't we just stop now? 646 00:40:07,199 --> 00:40:09,400 I am too tired to make this movie. 647 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,239 I have no energy. 648 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,199 I am too tired. 649 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,639 I have a hole in my head. 650 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,719 It is just getting bigger and bigger. 651 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,719 Now my brains are running out like red flowers in my long blond hair. 652 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,119 I will now leave everything. 653 00:40:27,199 --> 00:40:29,519 I will now leave this planet. 654 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:37,199 There is no one to eat up all the food in the cupboard. 655 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,719 I will leave behind all the boxes of cereal- 656 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,880 -that I never got when I was little. 657 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,679 The letter I never sent to my father. 658 00:40:46,559 --> 00:40:50,000 All the newspaper articles I saved with such care. 659 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,599 And every time my real name was mentioned- 660 00:40:54,679 --> 00:40:57,039 -I crossed it out with a black magic marker. 661 00:40:57,119 --> 00:40:58,960 So that it disappeared. 662 00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:00,800 And disappeared. 663 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,519 And disappeared. 664 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,239 You are now rotting in the earth, little Savannah. 665 00:41:10,199 --> 00:41:12,559 Little darling. 666 00:41:12,639 --> 00:41:15,679 Your pale skin. And your freckles. 667 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,199 And the little crack that every one wanted to see. 668 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,760 Now we shall never see it again. 669 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:31,079 No longer can a little Jesus child emerge from there. 670 00:41:31,159 --> 00:41:33,079 Now it no longer exists. 671 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,039 I clean and clean but it doesn't help. 672 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:43,800 Everyone laughs at me when I put on my prettiest dress. 673 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,960 Did you know that there was one who survived Chernobyl? 674 00:41:50,039 --> 00:41:52,440 It was a miracle. 675 00:41:52,519 --> 00:41:54,519 He was inside the reactor. 676 00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:57,239 All of his colleagues died. 677 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,800 His skin was black. 678 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:04,320 When they pulled the sheet off at the hospital the skin came with it. 679 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,400 But he survived. 680 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,280 And is still alive. 681 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,000 But his skin doesn't work as it should. 682 00:42:13,079 --> 00:42:17,639 He cannot touch oil because his skin will break. 683 00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:23,719 You have stared straight into the fire, your eyes melt,- 684 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:29,559 -they are bleeding, your eye sockets are bleeding,- 685 00:42:29,639 --> 00:42:34,559 -you have seen too much, you have touched too much,- 686 00:42:34,639 --> 00:42:38,519 -and there are too many who have touched you,- 687 00:42:38,599 --> 00:42:40,840 -it is a miracle that you live. 688 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:45,960 It is a miracle that you are still alive. 689 00:42:46,039 --> 00:42:48,400 The doctors cannot explain it. 690 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,679 They say it is a miracle. 691 00:42:53,519 --> 00:42:57,320 I know I only got this part because I'm fat. 692 00:42:58,639 --> 00:43:02,679 I got it because the people at the film company think- 693 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,239 -that all fat people are tragic. 694 00:43:06,519 --> 00:43:10,280 But in reality I am not at all like this role. 695 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,159 It's not me. 696 00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,079 It's just a role. 697 00:43:14,159 --> 00:43:17,199 It's not me. 698 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:21,039 It's not me crawling on the floor. 699 00:43:21,119 --> 00:43:23,559 I need a foot file. 700 00:43:23,639 --> 00:43:26,159 I have calluses on my heels. 701 00:43:27,519 --> 00:43:30,840 My fingers itch all the time. 702 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,079 It is like larvae under my skin. 703 00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:39,559 Did you know that those sick sick people have made a nativity scene- 704 00:43:39,639 --> 00:43:43,079 -with David and Victoria Beckham as Joseph and Mary? 705 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:49,039 And above it all Kylie Minogue as the angel Gabriel. 706 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,840 I thought about Kylie all night. 707 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:57,360 I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about her. 708 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,880 She doesn't have any children. 709 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,000 Maybe she cannot have any. 710 00:44:04,079 --> 00:44:06,199 Maybe she wants to have children. 711 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,800 She might have wanted it for years. 712 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:14,760 Maybe she has tried, over and over again. 713 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,840 Maybe she cannot have any. 714 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,000 If that's the case, I feel sorry for her. 715 00:44:21,079 --> 00:44:24,159 I like her very much. 716 00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,320 I want to take care of her in some way. 717 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,360 I want to take her down so she doesn't have to hang like that. 718 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:38,880 Well here I am hanging with my cute little ass above David and Victoria. 719 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,639 They seem to be able to have as many children as they want. 720 00:44:42,559 --> 00:44:44,920 They could share some of them. 721 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:50,400 What's the point of having a cute little ass? 722 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,119 What's the point of anything? 723 00:44:53,199 --> 00:44:55,320 You just end up dying. 724 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,280 And then it doesn't matter. 725 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,480 There you lie in your grave with your cute little ass- 726 00:45:02,559 --> 00:45:03,920 -that is not so cute anymore. 727 00:45:05,199 --> 00:45:06,880 It's full of worms. 728 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,280 So why should I take my medicine? 729 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,119 I'm only going to die. 730 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:20,400 Or have you invented a new medicine that will fix everything? 731 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:25,280 Then you can make the whole world a paradise. 732 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,960 Where everyone feels good and nobody feels bad- 733 00:45:29,039 --> 00:45:31,519 -and no one feels fat and ugly? 734 00:45:31,599 --> 00:45:33,679 Can you do that? 735 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,440 In that case can you also make sure- 736 00:45:37,519 --> 00:45:40,239 -I do not have to go to anymore Oscar galas? 737 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:44,519 It's so frustrating, everyone just imitates me. 738 00:45:44,599 --> 00:45:46,519 Everyone wants to wear the same dress,- 739 00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:53,199 -but next year I'll show them, I'll come dressed as an astronaut,- 740 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,079 -and I'll float about in space,- 741 00:45:56,159 --> 00:45:59,480 -and I'll drop an atomic bomb upon the earth,- 742 00:45:59,559 --> 00:46:02,000 -and I'll just fly around in space- 743 00:46:02,079 --> 00:46:05,239 -and watch as you crawl through the ashes,- 744 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:10,000 -trying to breathe life into your disgusting spoiled brats- 745 00:46:10,079 --> 00:46:12,360 -who no longer have any skin. 746 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:17,360 I think that winter's most important item is a poncho. 747 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:21,199 My favourite drink is a strawberry daiquiri. 748 00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,960 23rd of November. 749 00:46:24,039 --> 00:46:26,800 Today I tried to leave the apartment- 750 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,760 -but the first thing I saw when I went out there were the headlines. 751 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:36,239 They said Kylie Minogue has breast cancer- 752 00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,880 -and that a nine year old boy died while playing football. 753 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,880 I cannot close my eyes,- 754 00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:45,119 -you have had my eyelids removed. 755 00:46:45,199 --> 00:46:48,159 It's so very very sad. 756 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,199 So very very horrible. 757 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,920 Imagine he just died. 758 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,559 He just collapsed and died. 759 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,800 I cannot live with all this sorrow. 760 00:47:02,519 --> 00:47:06,320 I must chop it up into tiny little pieces. 761 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:12,519 Please God, why must small children die playing football? 762 00:47:14,199 --> 00:47:16,480 I can't get up. 763 00:47:16,559 --> 00:47:18,599 My legs won't carry me. 764 00:47:19,519 --> 00:47:22,440 Why must Kylie Minogue have breast cancer. 765 00:47:23,599 --> 00:47:27,679 I do not want to live. It is too hard. 766 00:47:28,679 --> 00:47:33,000 I am a disgusting fat truck full of shit. 767 00:47:33,079 --> 00:47:34,639 Cans. 768 00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:36,519 Coca Cola. 769 00:47:36,599 --> 00:47:38,559 Codeine. 770 00:47:38,639 --> 00:47:41,119 A dead bird. 771 00:47:41,199 --> 00:47:43,559 An empty bottle of dish soap. 772 00:47:43,639 --> 00:47:45,079 Skeleton. 773 00:47:45,639 --> 00:47:47,679 Styrofoam. 774 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,239 Ballet shoes. 775 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,679 Implant 0367. 776 00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,280 Please don't kick. 777 00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,840 Won't you please just lie still in there. 778 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,159 My stomach is completely sore. 779 00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:06,800 I am so tired. 780 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,320 I gotta sleep a bit. 781 00:48:10,519 --> 00:48:12,480 People do not understand how difficult it is. 782 00:48:12,559 --> 00:48:16,880 To walk around carrying another person all the time. 783 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,559 If you don't stop kicking I will get an abortion. 784 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,119 Your little body is so delicate. 785 00:48:25,519 --> 00:48:30,559 Suddenly you are in the emergency room bleeding and bleeding. 786 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:36,119 My little darling you must be as still as a mouse. 787 00:48:36,199 --> 00:48:39,000 So that nobody hears what you say. 788 00:48:39,079 --> 00:48:42,960 Cause then they might get angry and hit you or kidnap you. 789 00:48:43,039 --> 00:48:46,280 Not knowing is the worst part. 790 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,760 I don't know where you are. 791 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,880 Jesus. 792 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,079 I don't know where you are. 793 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,159 Hello. 794 00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:57,920 I am your mother. 795 00:48:58,000 --> 00:48:59,880 Won't you give me a call. 796 00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,559 A fossil of a dinosaur's egg. 797 00:49:05,079 --> 00:49:08,039 A teaspoon in memory of Princess Diana. 798 00:49:10,159 --> 00:49:12,440 A name tag that once belonged to- 799 00:49:12,519 --> 00:49:15,119 -Swedish TV personality Claes Elfsberg. 800 00:49:15,199 --> 00:49:20,079 A plate in memory of Bing Crosby who died in 1977. 801 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,519 A little piece of a meteorite. 802 00:49:24,599 --> 00:49:28,360 A little chip off the Berlin wall. 803 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,519 A carton of milk. 804 00:49:30,599 --> 00:49:32,719 A bag of chips. 805 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,000 My bikini line is growing out. 806 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,800 A mess of thorny branches. 807 00:49:40,159 --> 00:49:44,400 There was someone begging outside of the grocery store,- 808 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,679 -so I told him he could go home with me and take what he wanted. 809 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,840 He was so totally shocked and did not want to go. 810 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,679 I am not like that. 811 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:57,119 I would have said yes. 812 00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:02,079 And then I would have taken as much as I could carry. 813 00:50:02,159 --> 00:50:04,599 I am not the one to say no. 814 00:50:04,679 --> 00:50:06,320 I say yes to everything. 815 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:09,519 Refrigerator. 816 00:50:09,599 --> 00:50:12,880 Washing machines. Dishwashers. 817 00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:16,079 A Spice Girls watch. 818 00:50:16,159 --> 00:50:17,880 A letter from the eastern front. 819 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:23,800 It's addressed to Else Kowalewski in Berlin. 820 00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,280 The 7th of April 1944. 821 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:32,079 A meteorite from an asteroid between Jupiter and Mars. 822 00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,760 I cannot close the lid. 823 00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:37,360 There is no lid. 824 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:42,800 I'm trying to direct this movie, but I can't. 825 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,920 I am so unbelievably pretty. 826 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,840 Everyone wants to be with me all the time. 827 00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:50,960 I have so much money. 828 00:50:51,039 --> 00:50:53,760 I go to so many parties. 829 00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:55,559 I have a boy friend. 830 00:50:55,639 --> 00:50:57,559 He's so handsome. 831 00:50:57,639 --> 00:51:01,719 He thinks I'm so cool and pretty and funny and sexy and smart. 832 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:08,239 I have such soft skin, such beautiful eyes. 833 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:13,400 He can lie in bed and just stare into my eyes for hours. 834 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:19,360 We can stay in bed the whole day. 835 00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,239 Just lying there holding each other. 836 00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:24,559 Kissing each other. 837 00:51:24,639 --> 00:51:26,440 Stroking each other. 838 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:31,360 But suddenly it all ends. 839 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,079 Just like how a song ends. 840 00:51:37,159 --> 00:51:41,760 Suddenly it's quiet, and everything collapses. 841 00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:48,840 Suddenly I realize he doesn't exist, I've been alone the whole time. 842 00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,800 I've just been speaking to myself. 843 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,320 I've been stroking myself. 844 00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:57,800 He didn't stroke me. 845 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,960 Cause he doesn't exist. 846 00:52:01,039 --> 00:52:04,360 It's like a blow to the head. 847 00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,000 And I want to kill myself. 848 00:52:07,079 --> 00:52:08,920 I am so ashamed of myself. 849 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,000 I am so awful. 850 00:52:12,079 --> 00:52:14,239 I am so disgusting. 851 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,719 I am smelling. 852 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,079 I shouldn't be allowed to live. 853 00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:24,679 And then I cut myself in the arm as deep as I can. 854 00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:26,800 And then I hate myself even more- 855 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,400 -because it's so stereotypical to cut yourself. 856 00:52:30,599 --> 00:52:34,119 Every stupid teenage girl cuts herself. 857 00:52:34,199 --> 00:52:36,800 It's like I'm just imitating others. 858 00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:44,039 I just do what everybody else does. 859 00:52:44,119 --> 00:52:46,800 And then I just want to die. 860 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:48,920 Good night. 861 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,960 See you in the morning. 862 00:52:51,679 --> 00:52:53,599 What time is it? 863 00:52:54,599 --> 00:52:57,079 Where are my pants? 864 00:52:57,159 --> 00:53:00,320 Monday. Tuesday. 865 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,760 Wednesday. Thursday. 866 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,000 Friday. 867 00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:08,800 This is my husband. 868 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,599 This is my wife. 869 00:53:11,679 --> 00:53:13,280 This is my son. 870 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,480 This is my daughter. 871 00:53:16,559 --> 00:53:19,079 This is my girlfriend. 872 00:53:19,159 --> 00:53:22,000 This is my boyfriend. 873 00:53:22,079 --> 00:53:24,199 I have to shave. 874 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,199 Where are my panties? 875 00:53:28,519 --> 00:53:33,159 This is a copy of Jennifer Lopez's engagement ring. 876 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,800 The real thing cost millions of dollars. 877 00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,760 This ring cost ten dollars. 878 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,920 From a small distance you can't see the difference. 879 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,320 But if you come close. 880 00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:51,119 If you get up at six in the morning and begin the day by jogging,- 881 00:53:51,199 --> 00:53:53,880 -and you follow up with weights,- 882 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:55,679 -then you can see the difference. 883 00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:01,119 And in the afternoon you do double time on the running machine. 884 00:54:01,199 --> 00:54:04,239 Then you can see that I am just a copy. 885 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,840 And in the evening another round of jogging. 886 00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:10,679 Then I fly to Tokyo. 887 00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:14,159 Then I fly to Sao Paulo. 888 00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,840 Then I fly to New York. 889 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:22,400 The monitors inside the airplane show a smashed-in face. 890 00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:24,960 A fried egg. 891 00:54:28,159 --> 00:54:31,400 The fluffy clouds under us. 892 00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,719 Poker. Solitaire. 893 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:40,760 Air temperature -51ºC. 894 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:46,960 Altitude 10,972 meters. 895 00:54:47,039 --> 00:54:52,400 Speed 832 km/h. 896 00:54:53,679 --> 00:54:57,760 A little baby sleeps in a basket. 897 00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,360 A man stands on his toes. 898 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:07,599 Two women from Germany try to sleep under a red blanket. 899 00:55:07,679 --> 00:55:10,599 The water bottles become compressed. 900 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:16,280 The smashed face slowly turns upwards towards heaven. 901 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,800 I feel like a hospital bed. 902 00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:25,039 You can lie on top of me now. 903 00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:27,360 Can you see into my eyes? 904 00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:32,679 I bend my body apart and show you the entire crack. 905 00:55:34,199 --> 00:55:36,679 A mountain of clothes. 906 00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,480 Four tons of cut hair. 907 00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,599 The taxi is wide open. 908 00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,840 Here I am kissing Tom Cruise. 909 00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:49,320 Here I am kissing Katie Holmes. 910 00:55:50,159 --> 00:55:52,039 I can't eat. 911 00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:59,159 Why should I eat when children in Africa can't? 912 00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:04,239 The food tastes like ashes or sand or I don't know. 913 00:56:06,079 --> 00:56:10,519 It tastes like someone has vomited on the plate. 914 00:56:10,599 --> 00:56:16,199 Economist, cookies, mustard. 915 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,800 Sibbolet. 916 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:25,039 Sienna Sinte Lalleri Miller. 917 00:56:25,119 --> 00:56:27,559 My kindergarten burnt down. 918 00:56:27,639 --> 00:56:29,559 I do one hundred sit-ups. 919 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:34,320 Aaliyah Danguole da Costa 920 00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:38,360 Shannon Antschel Ancel Wilsey. 921 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:41,320 Russell Crowe's jetlag. 922 00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:43,119 Loneliness. 923 00:56:43,199 --> 00:56:45,159 Adrenalin. 924 00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,760 The telephone in my face. 925 00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:51,559 I am healthy and I am well. 926 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:57,199 My parents have turned their bedroom into a gas chamber. 927 00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:00,800 They received an advantageous stipend. 928 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:04,079 I run but I don't get anywhere. 929 00:57:04,159 --> 00:57:08,039 It's the same old wimpy me. 930 00:57:08,119 --> 00:57:14,679 Inside the same old pathetic body drenched with cheap perfume. 931 00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,880 What do you mean cheap perfume? 932 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,519 It's not cheap perfume, it's Tommy Hilfiger. 933 00:57:21,639 --> 00:57:23,239 No it's not. 934 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,840 It's a crappy cheap copy you bought in Thailand. 935 00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,840 You stink like a whore all the way through your skin. 936 00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:34,280 To the depths of your shrunken, brown heart. 937 00:57:36,239 --> 00:57:38,480 That's where I live. 938 00:57:38,559 --> 00:57:42,480 In your disgusting, dirty horrible heart. 939 00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:48,719 I trip and slide and never make it in time. 940 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,360 The house next door is burning. 941 00:57:52,519 --> 00:57:55,079 There's something black in the street. 942 00:57:55,159 --> 00:57:57,440 The ambulance comes. 943 00:57:57,519 --> 00:57:59,760 They roll out a gurney. 944 00:58:01,599 --> 00:58:05,159 I get up from the gurney and walk to the door. 945 00:58:06,559 --> 00:58:09,920 Wanna know what happened when I was born? 946 00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:15,920 What happened was that one day my mother was pregnant. 947 00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:20,519 So then my dad left because he had never slept with my mom. 948 00:58:20,599 --> 00:58:24,199 So it couldn't be his child. 949 00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,559 But then an angel with a really cute little ass- 950 00:58:27,639 --> 00:58:32,280 -came to my dad and said that he should not be afraid,- 951 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:36,119 -cause it was God's child that lay in my mom's stomach. 952 00:58:36,199 --> 00:58:39,400 And the child would save humanity. 953 00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:43,000 So my dad stayed with my mom. 954 00:58:44,199 --> 00:58:47,880 But when I came out of my mom's stomach- 955 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:52,039 -I wasn't really quite what they had expected. 956 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,800 I didn't look like a normal child. 957 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,960 And it didn't seem as though I was alive. 958 00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:06,960 So they quickly drove me by ambulance to my mother's breast. 959 00:59:07,039 --> 00:59:09,000 But I didn't want to suck. 960 00:59:10,239 --> 00:59:16,159 So they tried to feed me ravioli but I didn't want to eat. 961 00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,800 Then they put me on the back of a ladybug. 962 00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:25,039 And the ladybug had to walk around with me on its back. 963 00:59:25,119 --> 00:59:31,559 Cause they thought I might come to life if I had something fun to do. 964 00:59:31,639 --> 00:59:34,159 But it didn't help. 965 00:59:34,239 --> 00:59:36,519 So then they didn't know what to do. 966 00:59:38,039 --> 00:59:41,000 It seemed nothing would help. 967 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:46,480 So they gave up and threw me into a plastic bag. 968 00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:52,800 And my dad snuck out to throw the plastic bag down the garbage chute. 969 00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,760 He opened the door. 970 00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:59,119 And suddenly they all threw themselves upon him. 971 00:59:59,199 --> 01:00:01,760 All my fans. 972 01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:06,960 And all the paparazzi that had gathered outside our door. 973 01:00:07,039 --> 01:00:10,360 They threw themselves upon my dad. 974 01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:15,320 And took the garbage bag from him and ran away with the bag. 975 01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:17,679 The one that I was in. 976 01:00:19,159 --> 01:00:21,480 And then I had to go to a psychologist. 977 01:00:22,559 --> 01:00:24,400 And I had to take medication. 978 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:28,320 But it really dried out my mouth. 979 01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:33,039 My mouth was so dry that I could no longer leave the apartment- 980 01:00:33,119 --> 01:00:36,119 -because the air out there felt like sand. 981 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,760 And that's why I was late for my own premiere. 982 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:43,119 It was terrible. 983 01:00:43,199 --> 01:00:46,280 The photographers were out of their mind. 984 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:51,519 My son was born blind and handicapped because of my addictions. 985 01:00:51,599 --> 01:00:56,000 I have more than 300 pairs of jeans at home in my gigantic closet. 986 01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,880 I have had sex with four spice girls. 987 01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,480 I am surrounded by tragedy. 988 01:01:05,079 --> 01:01:08,199 I get a shock when I see myself naked. 989 01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:13,960 I never wear panties with jeans cause then your ass looks the best. 990 01:01:15,519 --> 01:01:18,360 When I get hungry I drink a glass of water. 991 01:01:19,119 --> 01:01:23,480 Okay, let's do a little celebrity quiz: 992 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,920 Who never wears panties with jeans? 993 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,599 Who has a son who is blind and handicapped? 994 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,960 Who was late for their own premiere? 995 01:01:37,159 --> 01:01:40,239 Who has had sex with four spice girls? 996 01:01:41,519 --> 01:01:44,800 Who is surrounded by tragedy? 997 01:01:45,519 --> 01:01:47,880 Who drinks a glass of water? 998 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,199 Okay. Here comes the answer. 999 01:01:53,239 --> 01:01:57,360 The answer to all the questions is: Jesus. 1000 01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:01,239 We are all Jesus. 1001 01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:05,000 Mary is our little disappointed mother. 1002 01:02:05,079 --> 01:02:09,360 Joseph is our confused stepfather who doesn't get anything. 1003 01:02:11,159 --> 01:02:15,960 Our real biological father is God in heaven. 1004 01:02:16,039 --> 01:02:18,440 The same heart beats within us all. 1005 01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,400 But why was I given this role? 1006 01:02:25,159 --> 01:02:28,079 Was it because I was the best? 1007 01:02:28,159 --> 01:02:30,639 Or was because I was the prettiest? 1008 01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:36,960 What if there were a whole bunch of actors better than me. 1009 01:02:37,039 --> 01:02:43,199 But who weren't as pretty or thin or whatever it is. 1010 01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:49,480 And why did you happen to stuff your child into my uterus? 1011 01:02:49,559 --> 01:02:51,840 Was it because I was pretty? 1012 01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:54,320 And was perfect for the pictures- 1013 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,719 -you would put up everywhere and in all the churches? 1014 01:02:58,679 --> 01:03:03,119 Or was it because I was so young and naive that I didn't dare say no? 1015 01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:08,639 It can't just be a matter of coincidence. 1016 01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:12,000 Do you believe in coincidence? 1017 01:03:12,079 --> 01:03:13,639 I don't. 1018 01:03:14,679 --> 01:03:17,880 Which means you must have chosen me. 1019 01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:25,840 Did you think I was the sexiest of all the virgins in Palestine? 1020 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:27,440 Was that why? 1021 01:03:28,679 --> 01:03:31,400 But are you sure I was a virgin? 1022 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,199 What if it isn't your child? 1023 01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:38,199 Wouldn't that be a little embarrassing? 1024 01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:40,519 What if I just lied to you- 1025 01:03:40,599 --> 01:03:43,239 -when I said I had never been with another man? 1026 01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:46,880 What if there are places not even you can see? 1027 01:03:48,119 --> 01:03:50,199 Are there such places? 1028 01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:58,239 0735-033938. 1029 01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:03,199 There are places where my dad doesn't see me. 1030 01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:05,639 Small recesses. 1031 01:04:05,719 --> 01:04:08,960 Where I feel so alone. 1032 01:04:09,039 --> 01:04:11,199 Where I feel so free. 1033 01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:16,800 My psychologist says I have to stop reading gossip magazines,- 1034 01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,880 -or at least cut down. 1035 01:04:21,199 --> 01:04:23,239 But you're so cute. 1036 01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:25,800 I'm getting senile. 1037 01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:29,480 You have such lovely eyes. 1038 01:04:29,559 --> 01:04:31,880 You are so pretty. 1039 01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:33,920 I'm getting cancer. 1040 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:35,719 Parkinson's. 1041 01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:37,679 Alzheimer's. 1042 01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:39,480 ADD. 1043 01:04:40,639 --> 01:04:42,960 I gotta have a shovel. 1044 01:04:43,039 --> 01:04:44,440 A box. 1045 01:04:44,519 --> 01:04:46,960 All gone. 1046 01:04:47,039 --> 01:04:49,320 Eight centimetres. 1047 01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:55,239 Here in this box I lay down all my love for you. 1048 01:04:56,920 --> 01:05:00,360 Here I lay down all my love for you. 1049 01:05:01,519 --> 01:05:04,559 Here I lay down all my love. 1050 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:08,519 I need to use my mouth. 1051 01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,800 I need to use all of my intestines. 1052 01:05:14,239 --> 01:05:16,880 You are so sweet. 1053 01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,199 You are just like me. 1054 01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,119 It's like I'm just looking at myself, 1055 01:05:23,199 --> 01:05:26,960 I think we met when we were small. 1056 01:05:27,039 --> 01:05:30,199 I think we met on a ferry somewhere. 1057 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:35,199 Now spread you legs please. 1058 01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:38,760 I'm going to shove my bacteria into you. 1059 01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:42,519 And the bacteria grows to be a little tree. 1060 01:05:42,599 --> 01:05:45,639 And the tree grows into a rope. 1061 01:05:45,719 --> 01:05:48,519 And the rope stiffens to a chain. 1062 01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:53,440 And the chain is so strong that it will never break. 1063 01:05:54,599 --> 01:05:59,599 I've applied sixteen times to drama school but I've never been accepted. 1064 01:06:01,039 --> 01:06:04,440 I'm convinced it's because I'm too fat. 1065 01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:11,679 I try to explain it's because I have a little baby in my belly. 1066 01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:16,280 But they don't want to listen to me. 1067 01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:22,000 It doesn't matter that you are fat. 1068 01:06:22,079 --> 01:06:24,440 I love you anyway. 1069 01:06:25,679 --> 01:06:27,719 Mein liebe. 1070 01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:33,199 I want you. 1071 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,239 I wish I were you. 1072 01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,639 I wish you were the one who wanted me. 1073 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,239 No on has ever wanted me. 1074 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:49,119 I was always the one who was chosen last in gym class,- 1075 01:06:49,199 --> 01:06:52,159 -when I went to school. 1076 01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:57,639 In the horrible horrible little place where I grew up. 1077 01:06:57,719 --> 01:07:00,159 That I don't even want to say its name. 1078 01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,719 There was never anybody there who ever wanted me. 1079 01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:08,880 Not even me. 1080 01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:12,800 Mein liebe liebe liebe. 1081 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:19,800 All of your bodily orifices are warm and tight. 1082 01:07:21,079 --> 01:07:24,960 All of my orifices are soft caves. 1083 01:07:25,039 --> 01:07:28,519 Which lead into a wonderful temple. 1084 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:32,559 And there inside it's so light. 1085 01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,280 It's like death. 1086 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:40,000 It's like coming to heaven. 1087 01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,159 For I am completely open. 1088 01:07:43,239 --> 01:07:45,719 And I let the whole world enter me. 1089 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,519 There is room for everything in me. 1090 01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:52,719 Dishes. 1091 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,599 And glasses. 1092 01:07:54,679 --> 01:07:56,679 And cars. 1093 01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:58,519 And all of Africa. 1094 01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:00,760 All of Rumania. 1095 01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:04,840 And the sun can live in me. 1096 01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:06,719 All of its light. 1097 01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:08,280 The birds. 1098 01:08:09,639 --> 01:08:12,400 All those who are sad can enter me. 1099 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,480 I am no longer afraid. 1100 01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:19,000 I no longer close myself. 1101 01:08:20,199 --> 01:08:23,039 I let everything in. 1102 01:08:23,119 --> 01:08:25,159 I am no longer afraid of anything. 1103 01:08:26,359 --> 01:08:28,640 There is nothing to be afraid of. 1104 01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:32,319 I open my heart. 1105 01:08:32,399 --> 01:08:34,760 You don't have to be afraid. 1106 01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:37,920 I welcome all the suffering. 1107 01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,159 You can put it here. 1108 01:08:40,239 --> 01:08:42,760 I welcome it into my breast. 1109 01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:49,279 All of your instruments of torture, I know you want to get rid of them. 1110 01:08:49,359 --> 01:08:54,640 You can lay them in my breast, I have cut open my chest cavity. 1111 01:08:54,720 --> 01:09:00,520 It's not difficult, It's perforated between my ribs. 1112 01:09:01,239 --> 01:09:03,920 I can take on all of your weariness. 1113 01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:09,359 I can take on anything, I can run and jump. 1114 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:15,079 And if there is anyone in need I can help out. 1115 01:09:15,159 --> 01:09:19,439 If your grocery bags are heavy, I can help you. 1116 01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:27,319 Oh my my I am so happy, I can take care of everything. 1117 01:09:27,399 --> 01:09:29,239 I am so happy. 1118 01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:35,079 Why are you giving me all this medicine when I'm so happy? 1119 01:09:35,159 --> 01:09:41,640 Why are you giving me all this medicine when I'm so happy? 1120 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:43,760 I'm healthy. 1121 01:09:43,840 --> 01:09:48,680 You're the one who is sick. I'm healthy. 1122 01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:50,960 I've dilated nine centimetres. 1123 01:09:52,720 --> 01:09:54,680 My water breaks out of me. 1124 01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:59,920 Behind the mirror my water breaks into me. 1125 01:10:01,119 --> 01:10:06,359 Inside I am a little girl waiting to be born. 1126 01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:10,359 It is I who am Jesus. 1127 01:10:10,439 --> 01:10:13,960 It is I who am Jesus' mother. 1128 01:10:14,039 --> 01:10:16,479 Where is the tape? 1129 01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:19,600 I cannot live without you. 1130 01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:22,079 Please get out the tape. 1131 01:10:23,319 --> 01:10:25,720 You cannot live without me. 1132 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,239 Where is the tape? 1133 01:10:29,319 --> 01:10:31,520 I must have the tape. 1134 01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:34,840 This is where I lived when I was little. 1135 01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:38,319 And here. 1136 01:10:38,399 --> 01:10:41,720 This is where I got dressed. 1137 01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:46,439 This is where the grass grew higher and higher. 1138 01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:49,600 This is where I crept in and hid. 1139 01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:52,239 This is where I lay waiting. 1140 01:10:52,319 --> 01:10:54,159 And waiting. 1141 01:10:57,159 --> 01:10:59,319 My fingers. 1142 01:10:59,399 --> 01:11:01,600 My head. 1143 01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:03,760 Ten centimetres. 1144 01:11:05,239 --> 01:11:08,119 I am dilated ten centimetres. 1145 01:11:09,720 --> 01:11:12,079 My heart is full.