1 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:48,581 Mom! 2 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,113 Mom! Help me. 3 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:56,288 What is it? 4 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:59,222 I wasn't dreaming, Walt. I didn't imagine it. 5 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:02,453 I heard him. I heard him. I heard him. I heard Chris. 6 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,323 - I heard him! - I know. 7 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,056 No. I wasn't imagining it, Walt. 8 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,992 No, I did. He's... He's... 9 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,433 - I heard him! - Billie. 10 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,446 That's about as far as I can get you. 11 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,148 All right. Thank you. 12 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:02,438 - You left all your shit on my dash. - Keep it. 13 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,910 Suit yourself. 14 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:06,978 Thanks again. 15 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,813 Hey, hold on a minute. 16 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,989 Here, take these. They'll keep your feet dry. 17 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:23,293 If you make it out alive, give me a call. My number's inside the boots. 18 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:24,790 Thanks. 19 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,768 Hello? 20 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:13,003 Is there anybody here? 21 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,382 Guess not! 22 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,179 Two years he walks the earth. 23 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,760 No phone, no pool, no pets, 24 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,398 no cigarettes. 25 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,511 Ultimate freedom. 26 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:05,446 An extremist. An aesthetic voyager 27 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:11,423 whose home is the road. 28 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,765 "Hey, listen, old man. Now, don't psychoanalyze me, all right? 29 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,763 "Shut up. I'm taking you out to where we're going." 30 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,429 "Where you going?" 31 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:23,233 "I told you. We're going nowhere!" 32 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:31,442 So now, after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. 33 00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:36,283 The climactic battle to kill 34 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,588 the false being within 35 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,661 and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. 36 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,956 No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, 37 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:22,595 and walks alone upon the land to become 38 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:25,594 lost in the wild. 39 00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:02,197 ... hard work and manifold contributions to our community during their time here, 40 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,474 we salute you and offer all of you 41 00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:09,705 one more round of applause and congratulations. 42 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,286 Nina Lynn Lockwynn. 43 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,427 Vanessa Denise Lowery. 44 00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:35,273 Christopher Johnson McCandless. 45 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,649 Regina Victoria McNabb. 46 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:16,440 I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges. 47 00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:23,678 I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, 48 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:28,219 the red tiles glinting like bent plates of blood behind his head. 49 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,958 I see my mother with a few light books at her hip, 50 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:35,659 standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks with the wrought-iron gates 51 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,829 still open behind her, its sword-tips black in the May air. 52 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,898 They are about to graduate. 53 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:48,876 They are about to get married. They are kids. They are dumb. 54 00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:53,508 All they know is they are innocent, they would never hurt anybody. 55 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,451 I want to go up to them and say, "Stop, don't do it. 56 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:03,285 "She's the wrong woman, he's the wrong man. 57 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,656 "You are going to do things you cannot imagine you would ever do. 58 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:10,926 "You are going to do bad things to children. 59 00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:13,596 "You are going to suffer in ways you never heard of. 60 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,674 "You are going to want to die." 61 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:22,204 I want to go up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it. 62 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,583 But I don't do it. I want to live. 63 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:31,646 I take them up like the male and female paper dolls, and bang them together 64 00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:36,717 at the hips like chips of flint, as if to strike sparks from them. I say, 65 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:42,757 "Do what you are going to do and I will tell about it." 66 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:46,503 Here they are, Walt. Okay? 67 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,134 Who wrote that? 68 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:54,169 Well, could have been either one of us, couldn't it? 69 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,941 Why is he letting Carine drive his car? 70 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,343 There's a lot of great poems in here. 71 00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,452 I have to speak to her about it. 72 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:08,548 Sit down. 73 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,325 Excuse me. I'm going to get my son. 74 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:14,593 He just graduated today from Emory College. 75 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,962 I'll get it. I'll get it. 76 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:19,629 Chris, hi! We've been waiting and waiting. 77 00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:24,107 You scared me half to death jumping up there on that stage like that. 78 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,572 - Hi, Dad. - Congratulations, Son. 79 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:31,079 - This is a big step. - Thank you, Dad. 80 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,947 All right. 81 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,088 You're not supposed to be driving in Georgia. 82 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:37,413 Why? I have my permit. 83 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,718 'Cause it's against the law for a learner's permit 84 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:43,192 to drive in another state from one's home state. That's why. 85 00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:46,696 I didn't know that. I thought that if I was with a legal driver that it'd be okay. 86 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:47,766 Well, let's... 87 00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,502 - Are they going to continue? - No. 88 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,442 I guess everybody's celebrating today. 89 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:09,517 - They're going to stay in the bar, right? - That's right. 90 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,562 My grades are good enough, I think, to get into Harvard Law. 91 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,604 Chris, that's wonderful. 92 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,132 That is a big deal. 93 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,538 How much do you have left in the college fund? 94 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:39,109 Exactly $24,500.68. 95 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:40,845 Well, that's specific. 96 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,683 I had to go to the bank this morning, Mom. 97 00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:49,521 Your mother and I will be glad to contribute the balance for Harvard. 98 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,061 That's right. 99 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:52,693 I've got to figure out what I'm going to do. 100 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,234 I've got a lot of things to pack and organize here first. 101 00:18:56,335 --> 00:19:00,795 Your father and I, we want to make a present to you. 102 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,234 We want to get you out of that junker. 103 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,175 What junker? 104 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:07,906 That. 105 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,648 - We want to buy you a new car. - That's right. 106 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,218 A new car? 107 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,548 Why would I want a new car? 108 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,320 Datsun runs great. 109 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,660 Do you think I want some fancy boat? 110 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:31,560 Are you worried what the neighbors might think? 111 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,535 Well, we weren't gonna get you a brand new Cadillac, Chris. 112 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,837 We just want to get you a nice new car that's safe to drive. 113 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:41,470 And you never know when that thing out there just might blow up. 114 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:47,780 Blow up. Blow up? Are you guys crazy? It's a great car. 115 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:52,551 I don't need a new car. I don't want a new car. 116 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,017 - I don't want anything. - Okay. 117 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,858 - These things, things, things, things. - Okay. 118 00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,727 - Everything has to be difficult. - Thank you. 119 00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:02,891 - Thank you. - Maybe that's not what he means. 120 00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:06,630 Maybe he just wants his old car. It's not such a big deal. 121 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,568 Thank you. I just don't want anything. 122 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:23,385 Chris measured himself and those around him 123 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:26,013 by a fiercely rigorous moral code. 124 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,216 Bye, Chris! 125 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:30,653 He risked what could have been a relentlessly lonely path 126 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:34,459 but found company in the characters of the books he loved 127 00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:41,300 from writers like Tolstoy, Jack London and Thoreau. 128 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:46,103 He could summon their words to suit any occasion, 129 00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:48,640 and he often would. 130 00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:09,056 I forgot to ask what quote he'd have picked for his graduation dinner, 131 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:12,728 but I had a good idea of who the primary target would be. 132 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,578 It was inevitable that Chris would break away. 133 00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:27,244 And when he did, he would do it with characteristic immoderation. 134 00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:17,065 "It should not be denied that being footloose has always exhilarated us. 135 00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:20,970 "It is associated in our minds with escape 136 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,974 "from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations. 137 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:29,207 "Absolute freedom. 138 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,882 "And the road has always led west." 139 00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:35,639 I need a name. 140 00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,901 Toward the end of June, 141 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,997 Emory had mailed our parents Chris' final grade report. 142 00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:12,167 Almost all A's. 143 00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:15,340 A in Apartheid in South African Society. 144 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:20,675 A- minus in Contemporary African Politics and the Food Crisis in Africa. 145 00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:24,953 And on it went. Clever boy, my brother. 146 00:25:26,591 --> 00:25:30,254 But by the end of July, we hadn't heard anything from him 147 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:32,853 and my parents were becoming unsettled. 148 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:36,831 Chris had never had a phone, 149 00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:40,427 so they decided to drive down to Atlanta and surprise him. 150 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:58,284 When they arrived at the apartment, there was a "For Rent" sign up 151 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,848 and the manager said that Chris had moved out at the end of May. 152 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,985 Oh, yes. He left two months ago. 153 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:06,287 So when they got home, 154 00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:10,494 I had to hand them all the letters that they had sent Chris that summer, 155 00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:14,902 which had been returned in a bundle. 156 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:19,504 Chris had arranged for the post office to hold them until August 1st, 157 00:26:19,611 --> 00:26:22,478 to buy himself some time. 158 00:26:23,548 --> 00:26:25,539 Did you know about this? 159 00:26:26,184 --> 00:26:28,049 He didn't say anything. 160 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,247 I understood what he was doing. That he had spent four years 161 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:36,384 fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty of graduating from college, 162 00:26:39,064 --> 00:26:43,501 and now he was emancipated from that world of abstraction, 163 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:48,096 false security, parents and material excess, 164 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:52,940 the things that cut Chris off from the truth of his existence. 165 00:28:07,285 --> 00:28:08,411 Hey! 166 00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:15,290 - Hey, man. Step around. Jump in. - Okay, great. 167 00:28:15,894 --> 00:28:19,125 We barely saw you there underneath that crazy hat of yours. 168 00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:22,960 This door's a little tricky. There you go. Hop in. 169 00:28:26,604 --> 00:28:27,798 That's Rainey. 170 00:28:27,906 --> 00:28:29,601 - Hi, Rainey. - Yeah, I'm Rainey. 171 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:31,335 - I'm Jan. - Hi. I'm Alex. 172 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:32,774 Alex with the hat on. 173 00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:34,936 - Yeah, I know. You said it, man. - Yeah. 174 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,649 So you're a leather now. 175 00:28:39,918 --> 00:28:40,976 I'm a leather? 176 00:28:41,086 --> 00:28:46,183 Yeah, a leather tramp. That's what they call the ones that hoof it, go on foot. 177 00:28:47,058 --> 00:28:49,253 Technically we're rubber tramps. 178 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,351 Because we have a vehicle. 179 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,829 - You don't have to push me away. - Come on, please? 180 00:28:57,368 --> 00:29:02,465 Yeah, Alex could have a vehicle as well, but he decided to burn all of his money. 181 00:29:04,776 --> 00:29:06,710 And why did you do that? 182 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,779 I don't need money. Makes people cautious. 183 00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:16,710 Come on, Alex. You gotta be a little cautious. 184 00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:19,881 I mean, that book of yours is cool and everything, 185 00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:23,251 but you can't depend entirely on leaves and berries. 186 00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:28,024 I don't know if you want to depend on much more than that. 187 00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,992 Where are your mom and dad? 188 00:29:34,038 --> 00:29:36,199 Living their lies somewhere. 189 00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:41,735 You look like a loved kid. Be fair. 190 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,005 Fair? 191 00:29:45,049 --> 00:29:46,812 You know what I mean. 192 00:29:49,921 --> 00:29:52,116 I'll paraphrase Thoreau here. 193 00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:57,424 "Rather than love, than money, than faith, 194 00:29:57,562 --> 00:30:01,555 "than fame, than fairness, 195 00:30:04,002 --> 00:30:05,560 "give me truth." 196 00:30:27,025 --> 00:30:30,051 From as long ago as Chris and I could remember, 197 00:30:30,228 --> 00:30:33,391 there have been daily bouts of rage in our house. 198 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:37,958 Violence that we were forced to witness. It was very real. 199 00:30:39,904 --> 00:30:42,464 But it was also like theater. 200 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:47,944 They cast us as both judges and the accused. 201 00:30:48,313 --> 00:30:53,910 And I got you this token, this expensive token. 202 00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:56,479 Dad had been the young genius 203 00:30:56,588 --> 00:31:01,389 that NASA enlisted to do crucial designs for the American satellite radar systems 204 00:31:01,492 --> 00:31:05,986 that would be our answer to the Russian Sputnik. 205 00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:08,531 And Mom and he later started up a consulting firm 206 00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:12,069 combining her get-up-and-go resourcefulness 207 00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:13,762 with his wealth of knowledge. 208 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,033 Look at this. 209 00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:22,807 But by the time the company actually made its first million, 210 00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:27,914 the careerism and money seemed only to embolden their blindness. 211 00:31:28,586 --> 00:31:30,554 Thank you very, very much. 212 00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:34,148 I remember the first family meeting 213 00:31:34,525 --> 00:31:37,926 to let us in on their plans for getting a divorce. 214 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:42,131 They wanted us to choose which of them we'd live with. 215 00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:45,966 We cried our eyes out. 216 00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:50,400 The divorce never happened, 217 00:31:51,175 --> 00:31:54,269 but the battles and the meetings never stopped. 218 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,640 It wasn't very long before Chris and I shut off. 219 00:32:00,551 --> 00:32:03,281 We'd say "Go ahead. 220 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,550 "Get the divorce." 221 00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:12,895 Jeez. If I struck a match to you I'd have dinner and warmth at the same time. 222 00:32:13,998 --> 00:32:15,625 Where's Jan going? 223 00:32:18,202 --> 00:32:19,760 Well, my friend, 224 00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:23,830 all is not well on the hippie front. 225 00:32:33,551 --> 00:32:36,645 You're an industrious little fucker, aren't you? 226 00:32:37,922 --> 00:32:39,253 Little bit. 227 00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:48,631 It's funny how things happen at particular times. 228 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:54,071 I've loved that woman for a lot of years, bro. 229 00:32:57,075 --> 00:32:59,703 But, you know, she's got a story. 230 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:04,843 We've been going through this thing, real quiet. 231 00:33:07,518 --> 00:33:11,579 So when we ran into you yesterday, 232 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:15,355 this thing that we've been going through real quiet, 233 00:33:16,461 --> 00:33:19,362 she's talking about it. You know what I mean? 234 00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:22,798 - I think I do. - You think what? 235 00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:26,704 Well... 236 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:33,743 Some people feel like they don't deserve love. 237 00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:38,514 They walk away quietly into empty spaces, 238 00:33:40,184 --> 00:33:43,244 trying to close the gaps to the past. 239 00:33:43,421 --> 00:33:46,481 That's a hell of an insight. Jesus! 240 00:33:49,494 --> 00:33:52,463 - You're not Jesus, are you? - Look who's talking. 241 00:33:52,563 --> 00:33:57,227 You gonna walk across the water and get her back for me, pal? 242 00:33:58,036 --> 00:34:01,699 No. I'm afraid of water. 243 00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:03,965 Always have been. 244 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:10,111 Something I've gotta get over sometime though, huh? So I will swim in it 245 00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:13,246 if you'll carry the firewood back to camp. 246 00:34:15,586 --> 00:34:17,178 - Shit, yeah. - Yeah? 247 00:34:17,288 --> 00:34:19,779 - Call it carried. - All right. 248 00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:57,289 "The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, 249 00:35:01,065 --> 00:35:03,966 "and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. 250 00:35:04,702 --> 00:35:08,331 "Now, I don't know much about the sea, 251 00:35:08,973 --> 00:35:11,999 "but I do know that that's the way it is here. 252 00:35:13,578 --> 00:35:16,046 "And I also know how important it is in life 253 00:35:16,147 --> 00:35:20,174 "not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, 254 00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:23,910 "to measure yourself at least once, 255 00:35:25,590 --> 00:35:30,027 "to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, 256 00:35:31,696 --> 00:35:34,256 "facing the blind, deaf stone alone 257 00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:38,995 "with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head." 258 00:35:44,242 --> 00:35:46,472 There's a big wave coming! 259 00:35:50,281 --> 00:35:52,806 Rainey, I'm freezing! 260 00:35:53,417 --> 00:35:57,581 Could you put your arms around me? 261 00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:24,206 The Navy bulldozed and abandoned this base down there, 262 00:36:24,315 --> 00:36:31,278 and all that's left is this huge grid of concrete foundations, or slabs. 263 00:36:31,989 --> 00:36:35,789 - Man, you would dig the Slabs. - You would like it. You would like it. 264 00:36:35,893 --> 00:36:38,088 - If you're on the road still. - You'd love it. 265 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,629 Fellow travelers. 266 00:36:39,730 --> 00:36:42,324 Just living on the cheap under the sun. Can't beat it. 267 00:36:42,433 --> 00:36:43,798 Sounds good. 268 00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,629 If you come, I'll make you a proper hat. 269 00:36:46,737 --> 00:36:49,831 - Promise? - I swear to God. 270 00:36:57,582 --> 00:37:00,346 Oh, baby. Baby. 271 00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:03,252 - Stop it. Wait. - Yeah. 272 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:08,391 - Oh, yes. - Okay. 273 00:37:10,027 --> 00:37:11,722 Let me turn off the light. 274 00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:57,665 - He reminded me of... - I know. 275 00:38:06,517 --> 00:38:09,645 Such is the way of the world 276 00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,187 You can never know 277 00:38:15,092 --> 00:38:20,962 Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow? 278 00:38:22,767 --> 00:38:25,429 Gonna rise up 279 00:38:25,536 --> 00:38:30,132 Burning back holes in dark memories 280 00:38:30,941 --> 00:38:33,535 Gonna rise up 281 00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:37,978 Turning mistakes into gold 282 00:38:38,082 --> 00:38:41,711 I mean, you're really good. I mean, you're like 283 00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:47,856 100,000 times better than, like, any apple I've ever had. 284 00:38:49,694 --> 00:38:52,060 I'm not Superman, I'm Supertramp. 285 00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:56,130 You're Superapple. 286 00:38:56,233 --> 00:39:02,934 You're so tasty. You're so organic, so natural. 287 00:39:04,141 --> 00:39:06,234 You're the apple of my eye. 288 00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:15,108 Hey! Such is the passage of time Too fast to fold 289 00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:22,952 And suddenly swallowed by signs Lo and behold 290 00:39:24,295 --> 00:39:27,093 Gonna rise up 291 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:31,760 Find my direction magnetically 292 00:39:32,436 --> 00:39:35,030 Gonna rise up 293 00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:39,576 Throw down my ace in the hole 294 00:39:41,812 --> 00:39:46,215 In early September, Mom and Dad got a call from the Annandale police 295 00:39:46,317 --> 00:39:48,342 notifying them that Chris' abandoned car 296 00:39:48,452 --> 00:39:51,853 had been identified by the Arizona Highway Patrol. 297 00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:56,520 A group of rare flower hunters stumbled upon it in the desert. 298 00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:01,422 There were no signs that Chris had intended to return to it. 299 00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:04,660 But there wasn't any evidence of struggle, either. 300 00:40:06,604 --> 00:40:09,004 The police thought Chris had chosen to leave it behind 301 00:40:09,106 --> 00:40:11,768 and not that it was taken from him. 302 00:40:15,379 --> 00:40:20,316 The initial comfort that gave Mom and Dad quickly turned 303 00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:25,151 to the realization that Chris was actually trying not to be found. 304 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,662 Strong. 305 00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:13,300 You can do anything. You can go anywhere. 306 00:41:14,071 --> 00:41:20,101 Money, power is an illusion. It's up here. 307 00:41:21,645 --> 00:41:23,203 You can be here. 308 00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:26,973 Me and you. 309 00:41:41,465 --> 00:41:45,993 One, two. No, no, no. 310 00:41:53,744 --> 00:41:55,211 Two, 311 00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:01,043 three... 312 00:42:52,069 --> 00:42:54,401 Don't be shy with it. Get it moving there. That's good. 313 00:42:55,072 --> 00:42:56,733 - That's your speed right here. - Right. 314 00:42:57,841 --> 00:42:59,775 You go too fast, you won't get all the wheat. 315 00:43:00,110 --> 00:43:02,908 That's it, straight line, straight line, little straighter. 316 00:43:03,013 --> 00:43:06,312 See how you're bearing? Just a little straighter. Now you're a combiner. 317 00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:08,476 Wow, look at this view! 318 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:11,248 But keep your eye on the wheat, here. Make sure you're cutting it. 319 00:43:11,355 --> 00:43:14,518 You can look back here and see how much is coming out, all right. 320 00:43:14,625 --> 00:43:16,252 - How do you feel? - I feel great. 321 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:19,386 Okay, keep it straight. God bless you. 322 00:43:19,496 --> 00:43:21,794 Make yourself some money, my friend. I'll see you in a little bit. 323 00:43:21,899 --> 00:43:22,923 Okay. 324 00:43:29,707 --> 00:43:33,507 Wayne. Where you going? 325 00:43:52,363 --> 00:43:56,697 Kevin, you know I love you. I'm joking with you. I'm joking. Stop it. 326 00:43:56,834 --> 00:44:00,099 - I'm joking with you. - Mind your own business, Wayne! 327 00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:02,365 - What are you getting so hostile for? - I don't know. 328 00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:04,771 Me and you are on the same side. We're on the same side. 329 00:44:04,875 --> 00:44:07,935 - I'm just tired of the teasing a lot. - Kevin, we're on the same side. 330 00:44:08,045 --> 00:44:12,675 Let me get some... If I want some vagina, let me get it. 331 00:44:12,783 --> 00:44:15,274 - Whoa. He's serious about this. - Let's just play cards. 332 00:44:15,386 --> 00:44:16,944 - Can we just play cards? - Let's go, then. 333 00:44:17,054 --> 00:44:19,784 $2, $4, $6, just put all the money in. 334 00:44:19,890 --> 00:44:21,721 I just wanna see everybody going for broke. 335 00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:24,385 - You want to play? - No. 336 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:41,140 - Kevin, what have you got for the week? - I got 260. 337 00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,940 We're at 260. 338 00:44:49,420 --> 00:44:51,285 We're gonna stay right at 260, that's our number. 339 00:44:51,388 --> 00:44:53,219 We've got 20,000 pounds. 340 00:44:53,323 --> 00:44:57,157 We've got 20,000 pounds we need to get rid of. 341 00:45:00,064 --> 00:45:04,023 Maybe just do all that after lunch before we get back into everything else. 342 00:45:04,134 --> 00:45:07,570 Can we do the $500 reserves... 343 00:45:16,513 --> 00:45:19,004 What do you think about all this? 344 00:45:19,883 --> 00:45:21,441 I like all this. 345 00:45:33,564 --> 00:45:35,896 I don't think he can do it. 346 00:45:39,069 --> 00:45:41,128 Is there a library or bookstore around here 347 00:45:41,238 --> 00:45:43,297 where I can get books on hunting and preserving? 348 00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:45,398 Anything at all to do with hunting or preserving the meat, 349 00:45:45,509 --> 00:45:47,534 smoking it, whatever the hell it is, 350 00:45:47,644 --> 00:45:50,511 talk to Kevin over there. That's your man. 351 00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:54,044 Outdoorsman. What's your fascination with all that stuff? 352 00:45:54,151 --> 00:45:55,743 I'm going to Alaska. 353 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,021 Alaska, Alaska? Or city Alaska? 354 00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:01,648 Because they do have markets in Alaska. 355 00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:04,922 The city of Alaska. Not in Alaska. In the city of Alaska, they have markets. 356 00:46:05,028 --> 00:46:08,259 No, man. Alaska, Alaska. 357 00:46:08,832 --> 00:46:12,598 I'm gonna be all the way out there, all the way fucking out there. 358 00:46:13,337 --> 00:46:14,531 Just on my own. 359 00:46:14,638 --> 00:46:20,133 You know, no fucking watch, no map, no ax, no nothing. No nothing. 360 00:46:20,244 --> 00:46:22,906 Just be out there. Just be out there in it. 361 00:46:23,013 --> 00:46:27,382 You know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. 362 00:46:27,484 --> 00:46:31,352 Just be out there in it, you know? In the wild. 363 00:46:31,522 --> 00:46:33,422 - In the wild. - Just wild. 364 00:46:33,524 --> 00:46:35,515 - Yeah. - Just... 365 00:46:35,659 --> 00:46:36,683 What are you doing when we're there? 366 00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:38,989 Now you're in the wild, what are we doing? 367 00:46:39,096 --> 00:46:40,222 You're just living, man. 368 00:46:40,330 --> 00:46:43,731 You're just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. 369 00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:45,028 Yeah. 370 00:46:45,169 --> 00:46:47,694 Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels. 371 00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:48,794 Why not? 372 00:46:48,906 --> 00:46:50,965 You know, about getting out of this sick society. 373 00:46:51,074 --> 00:46:53,838 - Society! - Society! 374 00:46:53,944 --> 00:46:55,502 - Society, man! - Society! 375 00:46:55,612 --> 00:46:57,807 - Society! Society! - Society! 376 00:46:57,915 --> 00:47:00,611 Society, you know! Society! 377 00:47:01,451 --> 00:47:04,079 'Cause you know what I don't understand? 378 00:47:04,188 --> 00:47:08,147 I don't understand why people, why every fucking person 379 00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:11,591 is so bad to each other so fucking often. 380 00:47:11,695 --> 00:47:16,826 It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. 381 00:47:16,934 --> 00:47:20,700 - Well, it just... - What "people" we talking about? 382 00:47:22,372 --> 00:47:27,071 You know, parents, hypocrites, 383 00:47:27,978 --> 00:47:31,414 politicians, pricks. 384 00:47:33,050 --> 00:47:35,484 This is a mistake. 385 00:47:35,586 --> 00:47:39,249 It's a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. 386 00:47:41,959 --> 00:47:45,156 Alex, you're a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. 387 00:47:46,797 --> 00:47:48,662 But I promise you this. 388 00:47:49,900 --> 00:47:54,462 You're a young guy! Can't be juggling blood and fire all the time! 389 00:47:54,938 --> 00:47:58,169 - You've got to just kind of... - Wayne, what are you talking about? 390 00:47:58,275 --> 00:47:59,674 - What? - I mean... 391 00:47:59,776 --> 00:48:01,038 I'm talking about blood and fire. 392 00:48:01,144 --> 00:48:03,169 We're talking about trying to juggle blood and fire. 393 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,975 Who are you to be giving advice to anybody anyway? 394 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:06,640 Who am I to be giving advice to anybody? 395 00:48:06,750 --> 00:48:08,377 - Yes. - Well, it's nice to meet you. 396 00:48:08,485 --> 00:48:10,248 - My name is Mr. Happy. - Mr. Happy. 397 00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:12,584 And Mr. Happy sometimes gives advice. 398 00:48:12,689 --> 00:48:14,714 - Alex, please. - I'm sorry. 399 00:48:14,825 --> 00:48:17,419 Sometimes Mr. Happy... Well, Mr. Happy is always happy. 400 00:48:17,527 --> 00:48:18,960 But you know when he's happiest? 401 00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:20,427 - He's not always happy. - When is he happy? 402 00:48:20,530 --> 00:48:23,055 Are you really gonna say that to me? Come on, tell me about it. 403 00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:25,066 I am going to say that to you. 404 00:48:30,007 --> 00:48:32,475 - Now... - Sit down before you hurt yourself. 405 00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:35,739 One thing that you should try to keep your eye on 406 00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:39,472 is what happened in the late 1940s in Roswell. 407 00:48:53,463 --> 00:48:55,658 When a search of tax records revealed that 408 00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:58,291 Chris had given his life savings to charity, 409 00:48:58,702 --> 00:49:03,002 Mom and Dad became what Dad called "mobilized." 410 00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:07,566 They hired a private investigator and notified law enforcement nationwide, 411 00:49:07,911 --> 00:49:10,243 determined to track him down. 412 00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:15,108 I just figured he'd be with gypsies, far from the eyes of the law. 413 00:49:19,256 --> 00:49:21,588 These are those free satellite TV deals. 414 00:49:21,692 --> 00:49:24,593 You're the one who said it, Alex, not me. 415 00:49:26,863 --> 00:49:29,297 You're gonna need something. What kind of gun you got? 416 00:49:29,399 --> 00:49:33,665 I'm probably gonna get like a.22, I think. A.22 caliber rifle. 417 00:49:35,939 --> 00:49:37,338 All right, then. 418 00:49:37,841 --> 00:49:40,605 When you get your kill, time is of the essence. 419 00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:42,770 Now, the first thing you wanna do is make sure 420 00:49:42,879 --> 00:49:45,871 that you got that meat nice and shaved up. 421 00:49:46,049 --> 00:49:48,540 And you don't have a lot of time to do this. This is about an hour or two. 422 00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:52,554 Depending on the weather. Especially if it's hot, you've got less time to do it. 423 00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:56,820 What you do is you want to make sure that them flies don't land on your meat. 424 00:49:56,927 --> 00:50:00,727 Because once them flies start shitting out larvae and them maggots, 425 00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:05,492 you know, those creepy crawlies, it's too late. It's too late. 426 00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:15,369 You got me. You got me. 427 00:51:21,211 --> 00:51:23,736 I warned Wayne about them little black boxes. 428 00:51:23,947 --> 00:51:27,542 Mr. Westerberg, Scott Baker, FBI. I think you know why we're here. 429 00:51:27,651 --> 00:51:29,812 - Impressive turn-out. - Yeah. 430 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,980 You mind grabbing that zipper for me there? Thank you. 431 00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:34,815 - Let's go. - Sorry, boys. 432 00:51:34,925 --> 00:51:37,155 We're gonna have to shut down for a little while. 433 00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:39,990 Alex, you come back and work for me any time you want. 434 00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:42,766 Gil's got your checks, guys. I shouldn't be away too long. 435 00:51:42,899 --> 00:51:47,734 Remember Alex, no Alaska till spring. South, kid. You wanna head south. 436 00:52:13,330 --> 00:52:15,696 The year Chris graduated high school, 437 00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:19,166 he bought the Datsun used and drove it cross-country. 438 00:52:20,537 --> 00:52:22,664 He stayed away most of the summer. 439 00:52:23,306 --> 00:52:25,774 Come on. The neighbors are gonna be watching, honey. 440 00:52:25,876 --> 00:52:27,207 Can you spray it? 441 00:52:32,582 --> 00:52:36,678 As soon as I heard he was home, I ran into his room to talk to him. 442 00:52:41,525 --> 00:52:45,086 In California, he'd looked up some old family friends. 443 00:52:45,896 --> 00:52:50,731 He discovered that our parents' stories of how they fell in love and got married 444 00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:53,667 were calculated lies masking an ugly truth. 445 00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:57,567 When they met, Dad was already married. 446 00:52:58,575 --> 00:53:00,839 And even after Chris was born, 447 00:53:00,944 --> 00:53:03,777 Dad had had another son with his first wife, Marcia, 448 00:53:05,148 --> 00:53:07,742 to whom he was still legally married. 449 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:14,918 This fact suddenly re-defined Chris and me as bastard children. 450 00:53:19,563 --> 00:53:24,296 Dad's arrogance made him conveniently oblivious to the pain he caused. 451 00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:30,097 And Mom, in the shame and embarrassment of a young mistress, 452 00:53:30,740 --> 00:53:33,208 became his accomplice in deceit. 453 00:53:38,682 --> 00:53:42,379 The fragility of crystal is not a weakness but a fineness. 454 00:53:43,587 --> 00:53:46,715 My parents understood that a fine crystal glass had to be cared for 455 00:53:46,823 --> 00:53:49,223 or it may be shattered. 456 00:53:49,326 --> 00:53:53,558 But when it came to my brother, they did not seem to know or care 457 00:53:53,663 --> 00:53:55,893 that their course of secret action 458 00:53:55,999 --> 00:54:00,026 brought the kind of devastation that could cut them. 459 00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:06,334 Their fraudulent marriage and our father's denial of this other son 460 00:54:06,643 --> 00:54:10,807 was, for Chris, a murder of every day's truth. 461 00:54:11,948 --> 00:54:15,782 He felt his whole life turn, like a river suddenly reversing 462 00:54:15,885 --> 00:54:19,912 the direction of its flow, suddenly running uphill. 463 00:54:26,663 --> 00:54:31,259 These revelations struck at the core of Chris' sense of identity. 464 00:54:31,368 --> 00:54:35,361 They made his entire childhood seem like fiction. 465 00:54:37,540 --> 00:54:39,167 Chris never told them he knew 466 00:54:42,545 --> 00:54:45,036 and made me promise silence, as well. 467 00:54:45,882 --> 00:54:48,077 I can't afford four. Who's gonna pay for the fourth one? 468 00:54:48,184 --> 00:54:51,312 Bryan can't afford four. Does it matter? 469 00:54:52,222 --> 00:54:53,712 Can I help you? 470 00:54:53,823 --> 00:54:56,257 Yeah. If I wanted to paddle down the river, 471 00:54:56,359 --> 00:54:58,520 where's the best place to launch out of? 472 00:54:58,628 --> 00:54:59,754 Hang on a second. 473 00:54:59,863 --> 00:55:03,060 "To launch out of?" What's your experience level? 474 00:55:04,234 --> 00:55:07,499 - Not much. - Any? Do you have a permit? 475 00:55:07,604 --> 00:55:09,595 A permit? Permit for what? 476 00:55:10,173 --> 00:55:12,505 You can't paddle down the river without a permit. 477 00:55:12,609 --> 00:55:14,941 If you want, you can apply for one here, get some experience, 478 00:55:15,045 --> 00:55:16,945 and I'll put you on the wait-list. 479 00:55:17,047 --> 00:55:19,709 No, I got this guy in here. We'll figure it out. 480 00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:22,376 There's a wait-list to paddle down a river? 481 00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:23,850 That's right. 482 00:55:24,187 --> 00:55:26,417 - Yeah, it's gonna be... - Well, how long do I have to wait? 483 00:55:26,523 --> 00:55:27,990 Yeah, hang on a second. 484 00:55:28,091 --> 00:55:32,084 Now, the deal is it's gonna be me and you 485 00:55:32,195 --> 00:55:35,528 or it's gonna be me, you and her. 486 00:55:35,632 --> 00:55:40,160 Next available is May 17th, 2003. 487 00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:45,064 Great. Done. The three of us, then. 488 00:55:45,308 --> 00:55:46,741 Twelve years? 489 00:55:47,210 --> 00:55:49,144 - What's that? - Twelve years? 490 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:50,904 To paddle down a river. 491 00:55:51,014 --> 00:55:52,811 Let me call you back. 492 00:55:53,483 --> 00:55:55,280 You can do that, 493 00:55:55,385 --> 00:55:58,479 or you can join a commercial raft trip, go with a licensed guide. 494 00:55:58,588 --> 00:56:00,351 They may have some last-minute cancellations, 495 00:56:00,457 --> 00:56:02,948 but that's gonna cost you $2,000. 496 00:56:04,761 --> 00:56:06,490 Thank you very much. 497 00:56:44,367 --> 00:56:45,959 Helmet, man! 498 00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:26,636 I'm Supertramp! 499 00:57:39,756 --> 00:57:43,089 "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, 500 00:57:43,893 --> 00:57:46,418 "the possibility of life is destroyed." 501 00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:18,425 Hello! 502 00:58:20,930 --> 00:58:22,056 Hello. 503 00:58:22,799 --> 00:58:25,233 Come. Join us. 504 00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:27,970 We have hot dogs. 505 00:58:43,419 --> 00:58:44,909 - I'm Mads. - Mads? 506 00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:46,613 - Mads. Hi. - Mads. 507 00:58:46,723 --> 00:58:48,520 - Alex. - Hi, Alex. 508 00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:50,616 Hey. I'm Sonja. 509 00:58:51,461 --> 00:58:53,019 Hey, Alex. 510 00:58:54,464 --> 00:58:58,628 We are from Copenhagen, and you are from the rapids. 511 00:58:59,536 --> 00:59:00,628 I am. 512 00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:09,971 - You're crazy! You're crazy, man. - My God! 513 00:59:10,079 --> 00:59:13,071 Sonja, get away from him. Get away from him. He's crazy! Look, he's crazy. 514 00:59:13,182 --> 00:59:15,343 I'll make you a hot dog. One minute. 515 00:59:18,454 --> 00:59:21,617 I love this. Don't you love this? 516 00:59:21,858 --> 00:59:25,225 You know, this is nature. 517 00:59:34,370 --> 00:59:36,235 So where are you going? 518 00:59:36,906 --> 00:59:39,431 - I haven't decided yet. - Really? 519 00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:42,875 Well, we like it here very much. And it's so good to meet you, man. 520 00:59:42,979 --> 00:59:44,071 So good to meet you. 521 00:59:44,247 --> 00:59:48,206 You know, we went to Los Angeles, and then we went to Las Vegas. 522 00:59:48,318 --> 00:59:53,153 Oh, yeah. Las Vegas is very nice. The universe is so good. 523 00:59:58,094 --> 01:00:00,892 - The universe is very good. - You know what I mean? 524 01:00:00,997 --> 01:00:03,192 - Yeah. - The whole universe. 525 01:00:03,399 --> 01:00:07,665 Just the place. The city, she means. Her English is not very good. 526 01:00:07,837 --> 01:00:12,774 But then we came here. I don't care if she's a little stupid, but I like her. 527 01:00:13,977 --> 01:00:16,537 You know you can actually go all the way down to Mexico from here. 528 01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:17,635 - Yeah? - Yeah. 529 01:00:17,747 --> 01:00:22,275 You can take the kayak, and you can take it all the way around 530 01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:24,751 down to Hoover Dam, you can sail around, 531 01:00:24,854 --> 01:00:29,291 and then from there you can take the river all the way down to Mexico! 532 01:00:29,759 --> 01:00:31,420 - Really? - Yeah. 533 01:00:35,231 --> 01:00:37,165 Come on, come on! 534 01:00:37,700 --> 01:00:39,998 She's so slow sometimes. 535 01:00:41,037 --> 01:00:44,529 - Here's the map. - But I like her. 536 01:00:47,443 --> 01:00:49,308 - Here. Hoover Dam. - Okay. 537 01:00:49,579 --> 01:00:51,809 About 330 kilometers, I think. 538 01:00:51,914 --> 01:00:54,781 - Miles? - Yeah, miles, about 200 miles. 539 01:00:54,884 --> 01:00:58,911 - Two hundred miles. - Two hundred miles. Yeah, man. 540 01:00:59,455 --> 01:01:00,888 You know, I wonder if I could paddle 541 01:01:00,990 --> 01:01:03,083 all the way down that into the Gulf of California. 542 01:01:03,192 --> 01:01:06,025 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You know, I will go with you. 543 01:01:06,529 --> 01:01:09,020 I will go with you. We leave Sonja here, and then we take the kayak. 544 01:01:09,132 --> 01:01:11,362 No, no. We go all the way down into Mexico. 545 01:01:11,467 --> 01:01:16,200 You know, because in every man's heart, there is a Mexican mistress. 546 01:01:32,955 --> 01:01:34,650 Oh, man. 547 01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:37,489 I've gotta go, you guys. I'm really sorry. I gotta go. 548 01:01:37,593 --> 01:01:39,424 - What's going on? - Why? 549 01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:43,124 The river patrol's after me. I'm actually not supposed to be here, you know. 550 01:01:43,232 --> 01:01:44,824 You have to have, like, a permit, 551 01:01:44,934 --> 01:01:48,563 it's like a government thing to be here, and I didn't get one. 552 01:01:48,671 --> 01:01:50,536 If you see anybody, any of the rangers or anything, 553 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,505 just tell them you didn't see me, okay? 554 01:01:52,608 --> 01:01:53,666 Okay. 555 01:01:53,776 --> 01:01:58,270 Okay, again, I'm really, really sorry, man. I wish I could stay, you know. 556 01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,370 Take care, man. 557 01:01:59,482 --> 01:02:00,506 - All right. Take care, Mads. - Nice to meet you. 558 01:02:00,616 --> 01:02:03,517 - Bye, Alex. - I wish... I wish I could stay. 559 01:02:03,619 --> 01:02:05,883 Say hello to Mexico from me. 560 01:02:08,357 --> 01:02:10,484 Bye, Alex! 561 01:02:42,825 --> 01:02:45,692 It would be Christmas in a couple of months, 562 01:02:46,095 --> 01:02:49,656 and the last news we'd had was about his car being found. 563 01:02:50,366 --> 01:02:54,700 I woke up a couple of days ago, and for the first time, it bothered me 564 01:02:54,804 --> 01:02:58,205 that it wasn't only my parents who hadn't heard from Chris. 565 01:02:58,307 --> 01:02:59,433 Honey? 566 01:02:59,542 --> 01:03:04,036 It's me. I'm sorry. Everything that happened, it's my fault. 567 01:03:05,681 --> 01:03:07,546 Give me another chance. 568 01:03:09,452 --> 01:03:12,888 Please do that... Come on. Do that for me. 569 01:03:15,958 --> 01:03:18,256 Come on. They're calling for another quarter right now, 570 01:03:18,361 --> 01:03:20,921 and I ain't got it, so will you hurry it up? 571 01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:24,357 Come on now, don't hang up on me. 572 01:03:25,301 --> 01:03:28,270 Hey, here's a quarter. 573 01:03:28,371 --> 01:03:29,668 Thank you. 574 01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:33,705 There's a quarter just happened out of the sky, 575 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:37,177 so I'm on here talking to you again. 576 01:03:38,414 --> 01:03:41,872 I got the quarter now, let's... No, no, no, no, no! 577 01:03:46,756 --> 01:03:50,556 I wondered why he hadn't tried to call in case I might answer. 578 01:03:50,893 --> 01:03:53,384 He could've hung up if it wasn't me. 579 01:03:54,597 --> 01:03:58,192 Why wouldn't he send a letter, maybe through a friend? 580 01:03:58,301 --> 01:03:59,893 It hurt a little, 581 01:04:02,338 --> 01:04:04,932 but I told myself it was good. 582 01:04:07,076 --> 01:04:10,842 He knew I loved him enough to bear with the not knowing. 583 01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:17,315 And it helped me remember that there was something more than rebellion, 584 01:04:17,653 --> 01:04:20,213 more than anger that was driving him. 585 01:04:26,762 --> 01:04:30,493 Chris had always been driven, had always been an adventurer. 586 01:04:44,747 --> 01:04:46,578 When he was four years old, 587 01:04:46,682 --> 01:04:51,676 he once wandered six blocks away from home at 3:00 in the morning. 588 01:04:58,427 --> 01:05:00,725 He was found in a neighbor's kitchen 589 01:05:00,830 --> 01:05:04,027 up on a chair, digging through their candy drawer. 590 01:05:06,535 --> 01:05:11,370 Whatever drawer he was opening now must have something pretty sweet in it. 591 01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:13,594 - You lived in a cave for 36 days? - Yes, sir. 592 01:07:13,729 --> 01:07:15,720 And how did you get into Mexico in the first place? 593 01:07:15,831 --> 01:07:18,356 Through the spillway at Morelos Dam. 594 01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,859 River dries out pretty quickly beyond there, doesn't it? 595 01:07:20,970 --> 01:07:25,703 Yeah. Turns into a maze of irrigation canals, thanks to our dams up north. 596 01:07:26,175 --> 01:07:30,043 So I ported my kayak over the desert, and I hitched down to Golfo. 597 01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:35,376 But after a few weeks, a sandstorm came up and blew the kayak away. 598 01:07:35,785 --> 01:07:38,083 So I walked back north. Here I am. 599 01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:41,884 Well, you just can't be crossing the borders without any identification. 600 01:07:41,991 --> 01:07:43,856 - Are we understood? - Yes, sir. 601 01:07:43,959 --> 01:07:46,393 I've eaten enough sand to send me back to the city anyway. 602 01:07:46,495 --> 01:07:49,157 All right. Sit tight. I'll be right back. 603 01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:54,626 Some may ask, "Why act now? Why not wait?" 604 01:07:55,471 --> 01:07:59,168 The answer is clear. The world could wait no longer. 605 01:10:25,855 --> 01:10:27,516 Hi. Do you have the time? 606 01:10:28,024 --> 01:10:29,457 - Time? - Time? 607 01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:30,753 Yeah. 608 01:10:32,095 --> 01:10:33,494 Okay. 609 01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:15,768 Front and back. 610 01:11:15,905 --> 01:11:19,864 I don't have any more clipboards, so get one from the other fellas. 611 01:11:20,143 --> 01:11:21,610 - Next. - Hi. 612 01:11:21,878 --> 01:11:24,244 Can you tell me how to get an ID? 613 01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:27,177 - Did you lose your identification, sir? - Yeah. 614 01:11:27,283 --> 01:11:29,808 No birth certificate? Nothing? 615 01:11:30,086 --> 01:11:31,417 Ouch. 616 01:11:31,521 --> 01:11:35,252 All right. Well, you're gonna have to work that out with the DMV. 617 01:11:35,358 --> 01:11:39,624 You can catch them in the morning. The closest one is Montebello, 618 01:11:40,663 --> 01:11:42,654 and we can help you with the bus voucher. 619 01:11:42,765 --> 01:11:44,824 So just come to this desk when you're ready for the voucher. 620 01:11:44,934 --> 01:11:46,526 - Okay. - What's your name? 621 01:11:46,636 --> 01:11:50,265 - Alexander Supertramp. - What's that? 622 01:11:50,373 --> 01:11:56,243 - Alexander Supertramp. - Supertramp. Really? 623 01:11:56,512 --> 01:11:57,479 Yeah. 624 01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:02,345 Okay, so I'm gonna look for you, Supertramp. I got something for you. 625 01:12:04,887 --> 01:12:07,287 - Here you go, Supertramp. - Thank you very much. 626 01:12:07,390 --> 01:12:08,652 Okay, baby. 627 01:12:08,758 --> 01:12:11,784 - And one last thing. - Yeah. 628 01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:16,130 Do you have a bed for me? I'm sorry... 629 01:12:16,232 --> 01:12:20,032 Oh, no. Sure, I got a bed for you. Sign your name right here. 630 01:12:20,136 --> 01:12:25,301 You fill this out. And I'll set you right up. Now, I'm out of... 631 01:12:25,408 --> 01:12:28,241 - What's going on back there? - I got it. I'm sorry. 632 01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:31,711 - Come on, now. Work with me. - All right. Thanks, ma'am. 633 01:12:31,814 --> 01:12:34,078 Supertramp, huh? 634 01:12:37,053 --> 01:12:38,953 You know the drill. 635 01:13:12,221 --> 01:13:13,711 Move it! 636 01:14:01,337 --> 01:14:03,965 Thanks, but I'm not gonna need that bed after all. 637 01:14:04,073 --> 01:14:06,234 You leaving us so soon? Supertramp! 638 01:15:09,972 --> 01:15:14,272 Show me your face. I never, ever, ever forget a face. 639 01:15:14,710 --> 01:15:17,679 If I see yours again, I won't arrest you, I'll kill you. 640 01:15:17,779 --> 01:15:19,644 This is the goddamned railroad, 641 01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,375 and we will do whatever we have to do 642 01:15:21,483 --> 01:15:23,883 to keep you freeloaders from violating our liability. 643 01:15:23,986 --> 01:15:25,214 Yes, sir. 644 01:15:28,991 --> 01:15:30,583 You got any ID? 645 01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:35,157 - No, sir. - Of course you don't. 646 01:15:36,064 --> 01:15:37,827 Last time, my friend. 647 01:15:38,967 --> 01:15:40,264 All clear. 648 01:15:48,310 --> 01:15:49,675 Good boy! 649 01:16:07,763 --> 01:16:10,891 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Finally! 650 01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:17,197 It's a mystery to me 651 01:16:18,073 --> 01:16:23,409 We have a greed With which we have agreed 652 01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:29,681 You think you have to want more than you need 653 01:16:30,919 --> 01:16:35,583 Until you have it all you won't be freed 654 01:16:38,527 --> 01:16:43,931 Society, you're a crazy breed 655 01:16:44,499 --> 01:16:50,438 I hope you're not lonely without me 656 01:16:53,909 --> 01:16:58,903 When you want more than you have You think you need 657 01:16:59,848 --> 01:17:04,842 And when you think more than you want Your thoughts begin to bleed 658 01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:10,748 I think I need to find a bigger place 659 01:17:11,793 --> 01:17:14,261 'Cause when you have more than you think 660 01:17:14,363 --> 01:17:16,593 You need more space 661 01:17:20,001 --> 01:17:25,371 Society, you're a crazy breed 662 01:17:25,907 --> 01:17:30,844 I hope you're not lonely without me 663 01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:36,783 Society, crazy indeed 664 01:17:37,586 --> 01:17:43,889 I hope you're not lonely without me 665 01:18:33,475 --> 01:18:34,908 Thanks a lot. 666 01:18:44,186 --> 01:18:47,087 In the letters Chris wrote me from college, 667 01:18:47,656 --> 01:18:51,854 it was clear his anguish and problems with Mom and Dad had continued. 668 01:19:01,336 --> 01:19:03,201 He said I was the only person in the world 669 01:19:03,305 --> 01:19:05,933 who could possibly understand what he had to say. 670 01:19:06,041 --> 01:19:09,010 With whose money are you buying all these goddamn presents? 671 01:19:09,110 --> 01:19:11,510 I work. The only reason I'm not talking is because 672 01:19:11,613 --> 01:19:14,275 you're wandering around acting like the big-shot flirt with everybody. 673 01:19:14,382 --> 01:19:17,909 I am making the contacts for this business to work! 674 01:19:18,086 --> 01:19:20,020 You don't care at all about what I do! 675 01:19:20,121 --> 01:19:21,952 I don't even want to talk to you about it anymore! 676 01:19:22,057 --> 01:19:25,083 Don't you walk away from me, woman! Woman! 677 01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:28,092 Kids! Look what your dad is doing to me! 678 01:19:28,296 --> 01:19:31,629 For God's sake, look what your mother is making me do! 679 01:19:31,733 --> 01:19:33,701 Fuck you! I hate you! 680 01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:39,232 There ain't gonna be no party. I'm gonna cancel Christmas this year. 681 01:19:39,374 --> 01:19:42,639 Cancel Christmas? Who do you think you are? God? 682 01:19:42,744 --> 01:19:44,507 That's right! I'm God! 683 01:19:44,646 --> 01:19:47,444 Well, you're not God. You can't cancel Christmas. 684 01:19:47,716 --> 01:19:49,047 That's bullshit! 685 01:21:45,166 --> 01:21:46,656 We're 10 deep! 686 01:21:54,576 --> 01:21:59,343 Alex, I don't mean to be on you about everything. You're doing a great job. 687 01:21:59,581 --> 01:22:03,244 I wanna keep you on and we all wanna help you get to Alaska, 688 01:22:03,952 --> 01:22:06,546 but you've got to start wearing socks. 689 01:22:14,496 --> 01:22:18,193 With almost a year having passed since Chris' disappearance, 690 01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:22,134 my parents' anger, their desperation, 691 01:22:22,237 --> 01:22:24,501 their guilt was giving way to pain. 692 01:22:27,542 --> 01:22:30,136 And pain seemed to bring them closer. 693 01:22:32,514 --> 01:22:34,675 Even their faces had changed. 694 01:23:00,909 --> 01:23:03,343 She convinces herself it's Chris, 695 01:23:04,746 --> 01:23:07,215 that it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 696 01:23:07,215 --> 01:23:08,079 That it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 697 01:23:09,884 --> 01:23:12,250 And I fear for the mother in her. 698 01:23:15,957 --> 01:23:20,917 Instincts that seem to sense the threat of a loss so huge 699 01:23:21,029 --> 01:23:25,693 and irrevocable that the mind balks at taking its measure. 700 01:23:27,936 --> 01:23:32,498 I'd begin to wonder if I can understand all that Chris is saying any longer, 701 01:23:35,710 --> 01:23:38,645 but I catch myself and remember that 702 01:23:38,747 --> 01:23:41,113 these are not the parents he grew up with, 703 01:23:42,417 --> 01:23:47,013 but people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss. 704 01:23:51,659 --> 01:23:56,687 Still, everything Chris is saying has to be said. 705 01:23:58,466 --> 01:24:02,334 And I trust for him that everything he is doing has to be done. 706 01:24:04,139 --> 01:24:05,731 This is our life. 707 01:25:13,474 --> 01:25:17,069 Big game. Very big game. 708 01:25:17,545 --> 01:25:18,705 Got it. 709 01:27:09,691 --> 01:27:11,022 Damn it! 710 01:27:15,396 --> 01:27:16,693 Get off! 711 01:27:59,640 --> 01:28:03,041 "Hey, Dad, can I light the barbeque, please, Dad, this time?" 712 01:28:03,678 --> 01:28:05,145 "Well, Son, you can go get the lighter fluid." 713 01:28:05,246 --> 01:28:07,680 "Come on, Dad. Please, Dad, please?" 714 01:28:08,416 --> 01:28:10,976 "Well, why not, Walt? That sounds like a good idea..." 715 01:28:11,085 --> 01:28:12,950 "Shut up, Carine! Shut up, Carine! 716 01:28:13,054 --> 01:28:17,514 "No, Billie. I told you once. Don't make me tell you again. Okay? 717 01:28:17,892 --> 01:28:19,519 "Okay? 718 01:28:19,827 --> 01:28:21,488 "You hear me? You hear me, woman? 719 01:28:21,596 --> 01:28:24,531 "You hear me, woman? Huh? You hear me, woman?" 720 01:28:26,934 --> 01:28:32,304 "Sorry. Sorry, Walt. I'm sorry." 721 01:28:45,553 --> 01:28:46,713 Shit. 722 01:28:52,827 --> 01:28:59,892 No! No! Damn it! 723 01:29:00,435 --> 01:29:03,097 God damn it! Fuck! 724 01:29:46,481 --> 01:29:51,544 "There was clearly felt the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man. 725 01:29:52,854 --> 01:29:56,346 "It was a place of heathenism and superstitious rites, 726 01:29:57,725 --> 01:30:01,092 "to be inhabited by men nearer of kin to the rocks 727 01:30:01,362 --> 01:30:03,853 "and to the wild animals than we." 728 01:30:26,554 --> 01:30:27,748 Sunni. 729 01:30:28,289 --> 01:30:31,281 Hey, Sunni! Come here, baby. 730 01:30:36,864 --> 01:30:39,458 No. No! 731 01:31:13,134 --> 01:31:16,433 But now all I'm focused on is just Alaska. 732 01:31:16,537 --> 01:31:18,095 - Yeah. - Alaska. 733 01:31:20,074 --> 01:31:23,066 All right. Let's hear it for Insane Cain! 734 01:31:26,547 --> 01:31:28,916 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 735 01:31:28,916 --> 01:31:29,644 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 736 01:31:38,392 --> 01:31:40,292 Hey. My name's Tracy. 737 01:31:40,394 --> 01:31:42,157 - Tracy! - Yeah! 738 01:32:12,260 --> 01:32:14,854 Jack London is king. 739 01:32:16,030 --> 01:32:18,123 Hey, you gonna stay with us long? 740 01:32:18,933 --> 01:32:21,094 Well, I'm waiting on a check from my last job 741 01:32:21,202 --> 01:32:23,534 to come into Salton City the day after Christmas. 742 01:32:23,638 --> 01:32:26,436 I've got to start thinking about getting ready for Alaska. 743 01:32:26,540 --> 01:32:31,068 When the sun gets a little lower tonight, I'm going to start a calisthenics routine. 744 01:32:31,445 --> 01:32:34,175 After the check comes in, I think I'm gonna try to find 745 01:32:34,282 --> 01:32:37,581 some big old mountains I can climb every day until spring comes. 746 01:32:37,685 --> 01:32:39,812 I've got to see how far the money's gonna go. 747 01:32:39,920 --> 01:32:43,447 I've still got a lot of supplies to pick up before spring. 748 01:32:44,358 --> 01:32:48,852 So, I might get another job or I might be okay. 749 01:32:49,430 --> 01:32:53,594 Hell, we'd give you a little something for the days you spend in the booth here. 750 01:32:53,701 --> 01:32:56,135 I'm not taking any money from you, Rainey. 751 01:32:56,637 --> 01:32:59,538 It's been a real great twist meeting you two. 752 01:32:59,640 --> 01:33:01,801 You two look like you're doing good. 753 01:33:02,143 --> 01:33:04,111 - We are doing good. - Yeah? 754 01:33:04,211 --> 01:33:05,371 We're doing real good. 755 01:33:06,113 --> 01:33:09,082 Speaking of which, don't you think 756 01:33:09,183 --> 01:33:13,483 you ought to introduce yourself to our little Joni Mitchell over there? 757 01:33:17,958 --> 01:33:18,925 I... 758 01:33:53,761 --> 01:33:56,286 - Hi. - Hi. 759 01:34:01,969 --> 01:34:03,903 You selling these books? 760 01:34:04,205 --> 01:34:07,003 I am. We are. 761 01:34:08,309 --> 01:34:09,606 He was. 762 01:34:13,381 --> 01:34:14,871 I like to read. 763 01:34:15,750 --> 01:34:18,241 - Do you? - Yeah. 764 01:34:18,953 --> 01:34:20,716 That's good. 765 01:34:21,956 --> 01:34:25,619 I heard you play your song last night. 766 01:34:26,861 --> 01:34:31,560 - I'm terrible. - You are not terrible. You sing sweet. 767 01:34:32,433 --> 01:34:33,730 Thank you. 768 01:34:37,171 --> 01:34:40,299 I was gonna go take a walk to Salvation Mountain. 769 01:34:41,008 --> 01:34:43,738 - You wanna go? - Okay. 770 01:34:52,219 --> 01:34:54,585 - Hi. - Hi. Alex. 771 01:34:55,423 --> 01:35:01,157 I'd like to show you around up here. I've been here since 1984, more or less. 772 01:35:03,964 --> 01:35:05,693 A lot of tourists come in here 773 01:35:05,800 --> 01:35:09,566 and they look at that car door up there. They really like it. 774 01:35:10,471 --> 01:35:14,464 And I found car doors and put them up there and I bolted it all in. 775 01:35:14,575 --> 01:35:16,042 Where did you get the telephone poles? 776 01:35:16,143 --> 01:35:18,976 A lot of people in the valley just love me a lot. 777 01:35:19,113 --> 01:35:21,638 Everybody now, I think, in the whole world is just loving me. 778 01:35:21,749 --> 01:35:24,946 And I want to have the wisdom to love them back. 779 01:35:26,020 --> 01:35:28,614 And that's about it. So I really get excited. 780 01:35:28,722 --> 01:35:30,383 You really believe in love, then. 781 01:35:30,491 --> 01:35:32,823 Yeah. Totally. 782 01:35:33,527 --> 01:35:38,396 This is a love story that is staggering to everybody in the whole world. 783 01:35:38,499 --> 01:35:41,332 That God really loves us a lot. 784 01:35:42,403 --> 01:35:43,870 Does that answer that? 785 01:35:43,971 --> 01:35:45,563 - Yeah. - Good. 786 01:35:47,575 --> 01:35:51,807 I really love it here. I think the freedom of this place is just so beautiful. 787 01:35:51,912 --> 01:35:55,814 To me, I wouldn't move for $10 million, unless I had to. 788 01:35:57,651 --> 01:36:01,314 So I'm contented here in the desert, and I'm living where I want to live. 789 01:36:01,589 --> 01:36:07,084 And I think good gets better. And I think those great big tanks there 790 01:36:07,194 --> 01:36:10,789 were the sewer plant for the Marine base in World War II. 791 01:36:13,434 --> 01:36:16,096 If you want to, you can try putting your hands in there. 792 01:36:16,203 --> 01:36:19,366 And I'm gonna do the same thing, just for the fun. 793 01:36:20,074 --> 01:36:21,939 You're doing real good. 794 01:36:25,379 --> 01:36:28,712 You can wipe your hands off on my shirt if you want. 795 01:36:49,069 --> 01:36:51,560 This is starting to make me hungry. 796 01:36:52,373 --> 01:36:56,400 I was just a couple of years older than Tracy when I got pregnant. 797 01:37:00,281 --> 01:37:01,839 - Wow. - Yeah. 798 01:37:03,684 --> 01:37:07,780 Yeah, I thought my husband and I were going to just make peace on Earth 799 01:37:08,589 --> 01:37:11,353 and babies and love and stay together forever, 800 01:37:13,928 --> 01:37:16,761 and that didn't quite work out that way. 801 01:37:16,864 --> 01:37:19,424 He left me. 802 01:37:23,637 --> 01:37:25,298 So, I... 803 01:37:27,308 --> 01:37:28,297 Anyway, whatever, 804 01:37:28,409 --> 01:37:33,403 but I ended up raising Reno on my own. That's my boy, his name's Reno. 805 01:37:35,082 --> 01:37:36,743 Then I met Rainey. 806 01:37:37,952 --> 01:37:40,978 That was sweet. It was really good for a while. It's just... 807 01:37:46,060 --> 01:37:50,656 You know, Reno was a teenager already by then, 808 01:37:50,798 --> 01:37:53,961 and he was just on his way to becoming his own man. 809 01:37:58,606 --> 01:38:04,067 And I haven't even heard from him in two years. 810 01:38:07,848 --> 01:38:10,043 I don't even know where he is. 811 01:38:10,618 --> 01:38:13,018 I hope I get to meet him sometime. 812 01:38:15,456 --> 01:38:17,822 Do your folks know where you are? 813 01:38:22,763 --> 01:38:25,823 Hey, guys? Dinner's ready if you guys are hungry. 814 01:38:25,933 --> 01:38:29,664 Yeah, we are. We're hungry. 815 01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:34,832 I'll be all right. 816 01:38:45,686 --> 01:38:47,381 You want to come and eat? 817 01:38:47,988 --> 01:38:51,389 Or we'll sit here. Because I will sit here with you all night. 818 01:38:56,664 --> 01:38:58,154 Let's go. Let's go. 819 01:39:00,834 --> 01:39:02,893 Guys, come on. It's getting cold. 820 01:39:06,573 --> 01:39:11,670 Check this out. Tawdry? Denise, that sounds like your cup of tea. 821 01:39:41,508 --> 01:39:45,467 That poor girl is about ready to vault herself onto a fence post. 822 01:39:46,346 --> 01:39:50,646 And here you are, the monk of Jack fucking LaLanne. 823 01:39:57,558 --> 01:39:58,225 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 824 01:39:58,225 --> 01:40:01,558 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 825 01:40:04,598 --> 01:40:08,295 Children can be pretty harsh when it comes to their parents. 826 01:40:08,869 --> 01:40:11,030 You planning on seeing yours? 827 01:40:13,340 --> 01:40:15,638 I've only got one plan, Rainey. 828 01:40:16,744 --> 01:40:19,372 That would be Alaska? 829 01:40:19,613 --> 01:40:21,012 Alaska. 830 01:40:32,559 --> 01:40:33,685 Hello? 831 01:40:35,395 --> 01:40:38,387 - Merry Christmas. - Come in here. 832 01:40:47,574 --> 01:40:49,599 My parents went into town. 833 01:40:51,311 --> 01:40:52,300 No. 834 01:40:52,646 --> 01:40:55,774 Yeah. They went to call my grandma for Christmas. 835 01:40:56,517 --> 01:40:58,610 No, I mean we can't do that. 836 01:40:59,887 --> 01:41:01,081 Why not? 837 01:41:08,328 --> 01:41:09,886 How old are you? 838 01:41:10,864 --> 01:41:12,092 Eighteen. 839 01:41:15,235 --> 01:41:16,702 Seventeen. 840 01:41:18,572 --> 01:41:20,506 What year were you born? 841 01:41:27,381 --> 01:41:28,973 So I'm 16. 842 01:41:43,130 --> 01:41:45,530 You want to do something together? 843 01:42:59,539 --> 01:43:04,169 You can send mail to this address in South Dakota. 844 01:43:05,846 --> 01:43:10,180 I don't know when I'm going to get it, but I'll get it. 845 01:43:14,521 --> 01:43:16,250 You're pretty magic. 846 01:43:16,390 --> 01:43:19,018 - Yeah? - Yeah. 847 01:43:20,994 --> 01:43:22,621 And just remember 848 01:43:23,030 --> 01:43:27,490 if you want something in life, reach out and grab it. 849 01:43:48,855 --> 01:43:50,846 - You take care, kiddo. - You, too. 850 01:43:53,193 --> 01:43:56,219 - New Year's resolution? - We'll work on it. 851 01:45:04,097 --> 01:45:06,861 Just get your pack and get on out of here, okay? 852 01:45:08,035 --> 01:45:10,401 I don't think I could take a hug. 853 01:45:25,118 --> 01:45:26,085 Hey. 854 01:45:38,698 --> 01:45:39,722 Bye! 855 01:45:54,614 --> 01:45:59,176 A year and a half had passed in what Dad called "suspended animation." 856 01:46:06,793 --> 01:46:12,663 The weight of Chris' disappearance had begun to lay down on me full-length. 857 01:46:24,044 --> 01:46:26,239 "I have lived through much, 858 01:46:27,347 --> 01:46:31,044 "and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. 859 01:46:34,888 --> 01:46:37,584 "A quiet secluded life in the country, 860 01:46:39,493 --> 01:46:44,226 "with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, 861 01:46:46,032 --> 01:46:49,468 "and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. 862 01:46:51,338 --> 01:46:54,432 "And work which one hopes may be of some use. 863 01:46:56,109 --> 01:47:00,409 "Then rest, nature, books, music, 864 01:47:01,148 --> 01:47:03,139 "love for one's neighbor. 865 01:47:07,120 --> 01:47:09,554 "Such is my idea of happiness. 866 01:47:12,492 --> 01:47:19,056 "And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, 867 01:47:20,267 --> 01:47:22,201 "and children perhaps. 868 01:47:24,104 --> 01:47:26,902 "What more can the heart of a man desire?" 869 01:47:35,248 --> 01:47:39,651 Comes the morning when I can feel 870 01:47:39,753 --> 01:47:44,087 That there's nothing left to be concealed 871 01:47:44,191 --> 01:47:48,628 Moving on a scene surreal 872 01:47:48,728 --> 01:47:54,792 But my heart will never Never be far from here 873 01:47:54,901 --> 01:47:59,201 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 874 01:47:59,306 --> 01:48:00,874 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 875 01:48:00,874 --> 01:48:03,775 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 876 01:48:03,877 --> 01:48:08,507 I leave here believing More than I had 877 01:48:08,615 --> 01:48:12,244 And there's a reason I will 878 01:48:12,352 --> 01:48:16,516 A reason I'll be back 879 01:48:20,160 --> 01:48:24,529 As I walk the hemisphere 880 01:48:24,631 --> 01:48:28,965 I got my wish to up and disappear 881 01:48:29,069 --> 01:48:33,403 I've been wounded I've been healed 882 01:48:33,506 --> 01:48:36,600 Now for landing I've been 883 01:48:36,710 --> 01:48:39,611 Landing I've been cleared 884 01:48:39,713 --> 01:48:44,241 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 885 01:48:44,351 --> 01:48:48,685 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 886 01:48:48,788 --> 01:48:53,225 I leave here believing More than I had 887 01:48:53,326 --> 01:48:57,319 This love has got no ceiling 888 01:52:05,051 --> 01:52:06,678 Where's your camp? 889 01:52:07,520 --> 01:52:10,011 Just out past Oh-My-God Hot Springs. 890 01:52:10,857 --> 01:52:13,917 I've lived in and around here for six years now 891 01:52:14,494 --> 01:52:16,553 and I've never heard of any place that goes by that name. 892 01:52:16,663 --> 01:52:19,598 - Show me how to get there. - Yeah. 893 01:52:23,269 --> 01:52:25,863 - Ron Franz. - Alex. 894 01:52:26,039 --> 01:52:27,836 Alex? Where you from, Alex? 895 01:52:28,775 --> 01:52:32,734 - West Virginia. - Okay, Alex from West Virginia. 896 01:53:17,824 --> 01:53:22,523 Well, this is something out here. 897 01:53:27,467 --> 01:53:28,661 Don't you... 898 01:53:29,702 --> 01:53:34,401 Don't you worry about those dope smokers and nudists down below there? 899 01:53:34,507 --> 01:53:38,307 No, they keep to themselves pretty much. 900 01:53:38,411 --> 01:53:41,676 You strike me as a bright young man. Am I wrong about that? 901 01:53:42,949 --> 01:53:45,349 I think I've got my head on my shoulders pretty good. 902 01:53:45,451 --> 01:53:47,146 Well, that's what I mean. 903 01:53:51,858 --> 01:53:53,917 How long you been out here? 904 01:53:55,562 --> 01:53:58,759 - Couple of weeks. - And before that? 905 01:53:59,265 --> 01:54:02,393 A lot of places. Been moving around a lot. 906 01:54:03,570 --> 01:54:06,733 - Well, how old are you? - Twenty-three. 907 01:54:07,707 --> 01:54:08,935 Twenty-three years old! 908 01:54:09,042 --> 01:54:12,034 Son, don't you think you ought to be getting an education? 909 01:54:12,145 --> 01:54:15,080 And a job? And making something of this life? 910 01:54:18,351 --> 01:54:19,909 Look, Mr. Franz, 911 01:54:21,120 --> 01:54:24,988 I think careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one. 912 01:54:25,992 --> 01:54:29,758 You don't need to worry about me. I have a college education. 913 01:54:30,063 --> 01:54:34,193 I'm not destitute. I'm living like this by choice. 914 01:54:35,902 --> 01:54:40,236 - In the dirt? - Yeah, in the dirt. 915 01:54:44,577 --> 01:54:48,240 - Where's your family? - Don't have one anymore. 916 01:54:51,618 --> 01:54:53,108 That's a shame. 917 01:54:56,456 --> 01:54:59,152 Hey, Mr. Franz, I want to show you something. 918 01:54:59,926 --> 01:55:01,120 Come on. 919 01:55:03,930 --> 01:55:05,124 Come on. 920 01:55:30,790 --> 01:55:36,160 It's getting a little steep. A little high for me, kid. 921 01:55:37,664 --> 01:55:39,154 All right, 922 01:55:40,466 --> 01:55:43,731 but even from halfway out, it's quite a sight, isn't it? 923 01:55:45,805 --> 01:55:50,606 From the top, you can see all the way to the Salton Sea, too. 924 01:55:51,310 --> 01:55:53,710 You can see the Salton Sea from up there? 925 01:55:54,047 --> 01:55:55,275 Yes, sir. 926 01:55:56,115 --> 01:55:57,480 My goodness. 927 01:55:58,584 --> 01:56:03,385 - You don't want to go up? - Nope. I don't do these kind of things. 928 01:56:07,060 --> 01:56:09,426 I spent most of my life in the Army. 929 01:56:12,298 --> 01:56:16,997 New Year's Eve, 1957, I was stationed in Okinawa. 930 01:56:18,538 --> 01:56:22,531 My wife and son were here in the States just driving down the road, 931 01:56:22,642 --> 01:56:26,134 and some fella who'd had too much to drink plowed right into them. 932 01:56:26,713 --> 01:56:28,704 Killed them both. 933 01:56:33,119 --> 01:56:38,216 Now you might think the last thing I would do in the world 934 01:56:41,094 --> 01:56:42,823 is go to the whiskey. 935 01:56:44,597 --> 01:56:48,761 But at the time, it felt like the only thing I could do. 936 01:56:48,868 --> 01:56:51,462 And I did it hard! 937 01:56:54,507 --> 01:56:56,975 But pretty soon I realized 938 01:56:57,744 --> 01:57:01,976 I wasn't doing my wife and son any good mourning them with the bottle. 939 01:57:02,381 --> 01:57:06,408 So I pulled myself together and I quit drinking, 940 01:57:07,086 --> 01:57:08,451 cold turkey. 941 01:57:09,756 --> 01:57:14,125 So since all that, this is pretty much me. 942 01:57:15,461 --> 01:57:17,656 Do you ever travel, Mr. Franz? 943 01:57:18,731 --> 01:57:21,791 No, I can't seem to get too far from my leather. 944 01:57:23,536 --> 01:57:28,064 I do a lot of leather engraving. I got a little workshop out in the garage. 945 01:57:28,441 --> 01:57:30,636 Between that and my pension, I do pretty well. 946 01:57:30,743 --> 01:57:33,268 But every time I think I might take a trip somewhere, 947 01:57:33,379 --> 01:57:36,974 I get too far behind on orders and such to consider it. 948 01:57:37,884 --> 01:57:40,546 When we finish eating, I'd love to see your workshop. 949 01:57:40,653 --> 01:57:42,052 - Would you? - Oh, yeah. 950 01:57:42,155 --> 01:57:43,918 I was hoping you'd say that. 951 01:57:44,023 --> 01:57:46,958 - It's amazing how malleable this is. - Yeah, it is. 952 01:57:47,059 --> 01:57:48,754 When the leather is wet you can really... 953 01:57:48,861 --> 01:57:50,158 - It's like butter. - Yeah. 954 01:57:50,263 --> 01:57:53,755 It's amazing. And then it hardens up, and, I mean, it stays right there. 955 01:58:38,878 --> 01:58:44,475 A good whack with the mallet. Crack it down. Whack. Bang. 956 01:59:44,877 --> 01:59:48,540 I went to South Dakota. I worked at a grain elevator 957 01:59:48,648 --> 01:59:51,139 for this guy named Wayne. He was a really good guy. 958 01:59:51,250 --> 01:59:52,842 So I took the Colorado River 959 01:59:52,952 --> 01:59:56,217 all the way down through the Grand Canyon and did rapids, 960 01:59:56,322 --> 01:59:59,917 which is by far one of the scariest things I've ever done. 961 02:00:00,059 --> 02:00:05,395 And I took the Colorado down into Mexico, Golfo, where I got stuck. 962 02:00:06,332 --> 02:00:08,630 Salvation Mountain. The Slabs. 963 02:00:10,369 --> 02:00:12,462 What's the "N" stand for? 964 02:00:14,106 --> 02:00:15,232 North. 965 02:00:16,575 --> 02:00:18,202 Alaska? 966 02:00:21,247 --> 02:00:23,715 Son, what the hell are you running from? 967 02:00:24,884 --> 02:00:27,318 You know, I can ask you the same question! 968 02:00:28,387 --> 02:00:30,753 Except I already know the answer! 969 02:00:31,624 --> 02:00:33,114 You do, do you? 970 02:00:33,893 --> 02:00:38,091 I do, Mr. Franz! You got to get back out in the world! 971 02:00:38,931 --> 02:00:42,128 Get out of that lonely house, that little workshop of yours. 972 02:00:42,234 --> 02:00:46,227 Get back out on the road! Really! 973 02:00:47,173 --> 02:00:49,767 You're going to live a long time, Ron! 974 02:00:49,875 --> 02:00:53,106 You should make a radical change in your lifestyle! 975 02:00:53,813 --> 02:00:57,715 I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. 976 02:00:58,284 --> 02:01:02,448 And there you are, stubborn old man, sitting on your butt. 977 02:01:03,622 --> 02:01:06,420 - Sitting on my butt? - Yeah. 978 02:01:08,027 --> 02:01:12,396 I'll show you sitting on my butt! 979 02:01:12,531 --> 02:01:14,522 "Stubborn old man." 980 02:01:16,035 --> 02:01:17,627 I'll show you! 981 02:01:18,170 --> 02:01:20,365 Come on, then! Come on. 982 02:01:23,342 --> 02:01:26,436 Sitting on my butt? Yeah. 983 02:01:28,581 --> 02:01:30,708 Come on, old man. Come climbing. 984 02:01:30,816 --> 02:01:32,511 Sitting on my butt. 985 02:01:32,885 --> 02:01:34,352 Come on. Keep going! 986 02:01:38,224 --> 02:01:39,919 You're doing great! 987 02:01:44,764 --> 02:01:47,358 - Keep going. Keep going, Ron! - Yeah! 988 02:01:49,168 --> 02:01:52,899 Can anybody see this? God, are you watching this right now? 989 02:02:01,113 --> 02:02:02,171 Yeah. 990 02:02:05,284 --> 02:02:09,550 - You all right? - You little pinhead! 991 02:02:27,139 --> 02:02:29,403 I'm gonna miss you when you go. 992 02:02:31,077 --> 02:02:34,740 I'll miss you, too, Ron. But you're wrong if you think 993 02:02:34,847 --> 02:02:38,783 that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships. 994 02:02:39,819 --> 02:02:42,117 God's placed it all around us. It's in everything. 995 02:02:42,221 --> 02:02:44,553 It's in anything we can experience. 996 02:02:45,458 --> 02:02:48,950 People just need to change the way they look at those things. 997 02:02:49,061 --> 02:02:51,222 Yeah, I'm gonna take stock of that. 998 02:02:53,165 --> 02:02:54,393 No, I am. 999 02:02:58,637 --> 02:02:58,971 I am. 1000 02:02:58,971 --> 02:02:59,699 I am. 1001 02:03:02,108 --> 02:03:04,269 But I wanted to tell you something. 1002 02:03:08,080 --> 02:03:10,776 From the bits and pieces I put together, 1003 02:03:10,916 --> 02:03:14,943 you know, from what you told me about your family, your mother and your dad. 1004 02:03:16,989 --> 02:03:20,322 And I know you've got your problems with the church, too. 1005 02:03:22,261 --> 02:03:25,958 But there's some kind of bigger thing we can all appreciate, 1006 02:03:27,032 --> 02:03:30,195 and it sounds like you don't mind calling it God. 1007 02:03:36,308 --> 02:03:39,209 But when you forgive, 1008 02:03:41,480 --> 02:03:42,708 you love. 1009 02:03:46,485 --> 02:03:49,511 And when you love, 1010 02:03:50,356 --> 02:03:52,916 God's light shines on you. 1011 02:03:57,663 --> 02:04:01,326 - Holy shit. - I told you about that language. 1012 02:04:11,544 --> 02:04:13,034 I told you so! 1013 02:04:15,948 --> 02:04:19,440 Where are the fucking animals now? I'm hungry! 1014 02:04:19,618 --> 02:04:23,782 I'm fucking hungry! I'm fucking hungry! 1015 02:04:40,873 --> 02:04:44,604 "For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. 1016 02:04:45,511 --> 02:04:49,208 "She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment, 1017 02:04:49,315 --> 02:04:52,113 "and to call each thing by its right name." 1018 02:04:55,454 --> 02:04:57,081 "By its right name." 1019 02:04:57,890 --> 02:05:00,188 What is this? What is this one? 1020 02:05:03,295 --> 02:05:08,198 This is Viburnum edule. Viburnum edule. 1021 02:05:13,072 --> 02:05:16,041 Hedysarum alpinum. 1022 02:05:18,177 --> 02:05:22,841 Hedysarum alpinum is wild potato root. Wild potato root. 1023 02:05:25,150 --> 02:05:28,745 Epilobium angustifolium. Fireweed. 1024 02:08:24,196 --> 02:08:27,063 Fuck it all. Fuck it all! 1025 02:11:05,524 --> 02:11:06,513 Hi. 1026 02:11:06,625 --> 02:11:09,753 What are you doing up? It's 3:30 in the morning. 1027 02:11:10,162 --> 02:11:13,325 I heard you get off the couch about a half hour ago. 1028 02:11:14,633 --> 02:11:18,330 Had a funny feeling you might not be here for our breakfast. 1029 02:11:22,574 --> 02:11:27,443 I'm gonna drive you 100 miles to someplace where you can catch a train, 1030 02:11:28,246 --> 02:11:32,910 a plane or hitch a ride and not get stuck out in this desert. 1031 02:11:34,186 --> 02:11:38,122 I'd take you all the way to Alaska if I didn't have an 8:00 mass. 1032 02:11:38,523 --> 02:11:41,890 - Ron, you don't have to do that. - I want to do it. 1033 02:11:42,794 --> 02:11:45,763 Get you started on this thing of yours. 1034 02:11:46,264 --> 02:11:48,255 - On my great... - I know. 1035 02:11:48,967 --> 02:11:51,458 On your great Alaskan adventure. 1036 02:11:52,304 --> 02:11:55,000 Here. Here's a machete. 1037 02:11:57,376 --> 02:12:02,143 Collapsible fishing pole, a few other odds and ends I stuck in there for you. 1038 02:12:05,651 --> 02:12:08,051 - Ron... - Just take it. 1039 02:12:09,454 --> 02:12:12,252 I'll get dressed and meet you in the truck. 1040 02:13:08,547 --> 02:13:10,139 Well, my friend. 1041 02:13:12,651 --> 02:13:13,675 Yep. 1042 02:13:18,123 --> 02:13:20,591 I had an idea. 1043 02:13:21,727 --> 02:13:26,357 You know, my mother was an only child 1044 02:13:27,299 --> 02:13:29,062 and so was my father, 1045 02:13:29,735 --> 02:13:34,001 and I was their only child, 1046 02:13:37,409 --> 02:13:40,071 so when I'm gone, I'm the end of the line. 1047 02:13:41,179 --> 02:13:43,238 My family will be finished. 1048 02:13:46,952 --> 02:13:52,254 What do you say you let me adopt you? 1049 02:13:56,661 --> 02:14:00,722 I can be, say, your grandfather. 1050 02:14:05,170 --> 02:14:06,728 Ron, 1051 02:14:08,373 --> 02:14:12,139 could we talk about this when I get back from Alaska? 1052 02:14:12,544 --> 02:14:14,273 Would that be okay? 1053 02:14:21,620 --> 02:14:24,817 Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Yeah. 1054 02:14:29,795 --> 02:14:31,092 All right, Ron. 1055 02:14:33,498 --> 02:14:34,795 Thank you. 1056 02:15:23,982 --> 02:15:26,143 What did his voice sound like now? 1057 02:15:27,452 --> 02:15:29,613 What would he tell about now? 1058 02:15:30,121 --> 02:15:33,215 ...nine, ten. 1059 02:16:22,874 --> 02:16:27,811 I realized that the words to my thoughts were of less and less meaning. 1060 02:16:27,913 --> 02:16:30,006 Chris was writing his story, 1061 02:16:31,516 --> 02:16:34,485 and it had to be Chris who would tell it. 1062 02:18:55,260 --> 02:18:57,694 "To call each thing by its right name. 1063 02:19:02,600 --> 02:19:04,295 "By its right name." 1064 02:19:55,487 --> 02:19:57,512 What if I were smiling 1065 02:20:00,024 --> 02:20:02,322 and running into your arms? 1066 02:20:24,949 --> 02:20:26,678 Would you see then 1067 02:20:31,856 --> 02:20:33,585 what I see now?