Life is stealing from you.
Literally.
Surcharge by surcharge.
Convenience is bleeding you dry...
nickel by nickel.
Chump change.
That dime you don't even bother to bend over to pick up
on the sidewalk is the same dime
you get bent over for by all these services.
You wanna call 4-1-1, that'll cost 50 cents.
You wanna actually place that call, that'll be an additional 49 cents.
That adds up to guys like you and me.
On any given day, I have $20 before payday, whatever.
But don't even think about trying to withdraw your money.
It'll cost you $1.50 to get $20,
which means I only have $18.50 after the frickin' A.T.M. takes its cut,
which means I don't have $20,
I have "insufficient funds."
That's why I'm here.
So, listen closely because I'm about to tell you a secret--
how to beat the system, to take charge of the surcharge in life.
-Fuck, that hurts, you whiny little son of a bitch!
-I couldn't care less-- -Whoa there, skippy.
If I wanted more verbal abuse, I'd call some customer service center somewhere.
-Sorry, what-- what was that?
I didn't catch that last part.
Was that, "Sorry for being a bitch"?
"I'll be nice now"?
Mm-hmm.
Ow!
Shit, you...
Okay, let's start over.
Good idea.
What do you want?
-I want my 20 bucks. -I think we covered that.
True.
-Um... -Yeah?
So... what's your name?
Jason... Jason Taylor.
People call me "Jinx," though.
What's your name?
-Jessica. -Oh, Jessica.
Yeah, that's a nice name.
You kind of look like a Jessica.
-Okay, so what's next? -What do you mean?
What's next, as in what are you gonna do?
I don't know.
I mean, what, what? I don't-- I don't know.
Oh, you don't know.
-No, not exactly. -"No, not exactly"?
-What's next?
What is your next step?
I.E., evaluate, execute, exit.
What is your plan? Have you got a plan?
Did you ever think of devising a plan in a situation like this?
-Maybe you ought to have a plan. -Oh, boy.
You know what-- No, God-- Left
What's this?
That's what they call a cell phone.
Oh, thanks.
What are you gonna do?
Oh.
One...
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
Hello, who is this?
Who's this?
I asked you first.
Excuse me?
I said, who is this?
I heard what you said.
Look, who is this?
Who am I speaking to?
What is it you want?
I don't know.
You don't know?
My 20 bucks.
Let's start over.
Let's just say my name is Simon.
Okay, works for me...
So, Simon, what's the deal?
How do we do this?
Right... You tell me what it is you want, i.e., your demands.
Then I give you what's called
a counteroffer, giving you part
of what you want,
but not everything,
so I hold a decent bargaining
position to deliver what it is
that I want.
Got it?
I don't think I like
your attitude.
That a boy!
Now you're beginning to get the feel.
I want my 20 bucks.
And, and safely out of here.
What we have here is
a symbiotic relationship.
You want out and I want in.
And in the spirit
of negotiation...
I'd like to see you dead.
You'd like to leave alive.
So... Let's just meet
in the middle.
Have you come out.
What do you say, big boy?
Well, you're kinda
brutally blunt, and, uh...
To be honest with you,
it's kind of unsettling.
I'm not so sure about this.
Whatever.
Do we have a deal?
I would love to accommodate you, really...
All except for the seeing me
dead part... But the truth is,
I didn't lock this door.
It locked on its own
when the alarm went off.
I don't know how to open it.
[Simon] Oh, really?
And how is that my problem?
I am trapped...
In a vault.
I want out.
I want...
Mind if I speak with him?
What?
Mind if I speak with him?
Yes... No, wait, no!
No, what are you talking about?
You're not running the show now.
I'm running the show.
Oh, okay. You're running the show now.
Yeah.
F.Y.I., Simon, he's running the show now!
I said no talking on the phone.
Tell her everything's fine.
Just wait for now.
He said everything's gonna be fi...
Hey, both of you just,
just hold on a minute!
Mind if I make a suggestion?
Fine.
Why not?
Tell him I can open the door.
But you won't allow me to until he guarantees you safe passage out.
She says she can open the door, but...
I heard her. It's a good plan.
I'll give you my guarantee, 100%.
Hold up there. How can you open a 10-ton steel door?
And why should I trust you?
You see that computer
over there?
That particular computer is tied
into the entire security system
of this and every other
grant liberty national.
Why do you think they keep it
in the vault?
Come on, what am I gonna do to you?
It's not like I have a gun or anything.
Fine.
It's called exploding noema.
It's a theory of psychoanalysis that describes the exact
startling moment that the brain can't reconcile the difference
of what should be and what actually Is.
Kind of like thinking you've picked up a coke but you
actually drink cigarette butts and beer-- but that moment's
over now, and your brain is facing the reality that if you
even get up from that chair, this little gadget of yours
is gonna be a bunch of little
gadget pieces.
Please stop.
Please, please?
That's our way out.
It's our key.
Literally.
Okay...
So what's next?
We talk.
You are a smart and very capable woman.
I'd go so far as to say...
A serious force
to be reckoned with.
You obviously know what you're
doing, and I'll be honest,
the only authority I have here
is a stolen p.d.a. And a roll
of pretty durable tape.
But that's all I need now, isn't it?
So you and me, we're gonna talk...
And you're gonna give me
Frank and honest answers...
Without any attitude.
You got it?
Yes, I do.
Okay, good.
Now what is this all about?
She doesn't know.
-What's that? -I said she doesn't know.
She's got the codes, a specific job, that's it.
She's a hired gun.
-You're lying. -No, he's not.
-You're lying. -No, I'm not.
Okay, then, now what?
What you're gonna do Is...
I was saying...
Look here, you...
Okay, please... One moment...
Please... Please...
Let's start over.
Seems to be our theme around here.
So shoot. You tell me what I need to know.
You tell me what you want in
this vault and how I can get out
in a way that best serves
my interests, namely alive.
Okay, there are key codes
stored in a p.d.a. That seems
to be precariously
in your possession.
...The codes are for
the computer locked inside
the vault with you.
On that computer,
with the correct code,
is the central locking control
for the vault door...
And the master lock release
for every safety deposit box
you see around you.
Ah, that a boy!
Now we're cooking with gasoline.
Now, was that so hard?
I mean, really.
Yeah...
Yeah, it was, actually.
Shake it off, Simon.
Now that we're a little better informed, with a bit of attitude
adjustment, now we can revisit my original question: how do we do this?
-Not bad. -Excuse me?
The way you played that right there, not bad at all.
You don't think I laid it
on too thick there at the end?
-You blew it. -I thought you just said...
I know I did, but then you blew it.
I'm sorry, what's that?
I mean, could you feel it?
In that moment, you had life by the balls.
You were in charge.
Simon, I'm gonna have
to call you back.
There again, you see?
That spark... Living life!
Yeah.
You, just then, hanging up, taking charge.
Yeah, seriously, without that spark,
life gets the better of us.
It runs roughshod over us in small doses.
For example, why be charged a buck fifty to have access to your 20 bucks-- screw 'em.
Exactly, that's what I'm... Yes.
Think about it: they install an A.T.M.
It dispenses money, takes deposits, checks balances...
It basically does the work of,
I don't know, a dozen people or more per branch.
Yeah, and?
So the bank lays these people
off, saving an entire year's
worth of salary for dozens of
people per bank, per machine.
Not to mention all the money
saved not paying these people's
insurance, benefits, bonuses,
taxes, pension, welfare--
none of that.
Yeah.
And for all that profit, they
have the audacity to charge us
a buck fifty every time we use
their machine for our money.
It doesn't stop there.
No, no, no, there's...
Surcharges...
-Yep. -Service charges...
Yeah.
Late fees, roaming fees,
nickel and diming us to death.
Roaming fees... On top of a cell
phone bill, a cell phone which
is supposed to roam... That's
why they call it a mobile phone!
Right?
Late fees on DVDs that cost
as much as it would just to buy the movie.
Crime by any other name.
Yes, it is a crime.
It Is... A crime of convenience.
We are in a state...
...of financial emergency.
-Hello? -9-1-1 emergency.
Oh yeah, no, it's me.
I'm the one who called a half-hour ago.
...I'm still in the vault.
Brian Degepse here.
This is 9-1-1 emergency dispatch, ready
to patch you through, officer.
Go for Degepse.
This is Degepse, commanding officer,
emergency response unit.
Who am I speaking with?
Jason Taylor, sir.
All right, Mr. Taylor, first, I've been briefed, but
I need to know if you're still safe and secure.
You could say I'm safe.
Now, outline the situation, please.
I'm safe...
Because i'm, I'm in the safe.
I got the joke... Sir.
Oh.
I don't wanna alarm you in any way...
But this is not a laughing matter.
I'm sorry?
There's nothing funny abo...
About onions?
Excuse me?
Don't play with me, mr.tay...
You're, you're what?
Yes, I can hear you, yes.
...Hear me now?
Hear you? I can't, no.
I can't hear you.
Can you hear me now?
...Find spot with... Reception...
-Sorry? -Don't move!
You hear me?
I can.
...Look for a good zone.
I'll do that, sir.
-What do you got? -The guy's a nobody.
Couple of parking tickets, D.U.I. on a scooter.
He works at a coffee shop.
Right. ...Can you still hear me?
Okay, I think I've got a good spot.
Hello? Are you okay?
Do we have any injuries?
We may have a fatality
if somebody doesn't get his ass off me.
Fine, we're fine.
Everything's fine.
Nothing to see here, just move it along, move it along.
I swear to god, if you do that again, I will kill you
with my hands tied behind my back right now.
Is your safety compromised?
-Are you in danger? -I've been compromised,
all right, but he's the only one in danger!
Who the hell is that? ...And what's going on?
We're okay, sir.
I just had to subdue the hostage.
Hostage?
Who the hell do you have hostage and why?
Oh, she's one of them, sir.
I didn't mean to take her hostage.
She was in here when I ran in for cover.
So, I forcibly subdued her into custody and that's
when the vault door automatically closed on us.
You little son of a bitch, I... Shh...
Fuck that! Ow! You...
Can you hear me now?
I'm not buying that...
At all.
In fact, that was pathetic.
Really?
Look, try crinkling a paper
bag over the mouthpiece next time.
Works great.
-So what's the situation? -Oh, we're fine.
Unless you count being locked in a vault with armed assholes outside the door.
-Excuse me? -No, no...
Not you people.
Excuse me?
Oh god...
Tell me you're not black
or something... I didn't mean to...
Yep, I'm black.
You got it.
May I speak with him this time?
Hello?
Yes, hello?
Hello, yeah, you're going to have to forgive my friend here.
He's really confused.
It's an innocent mistake, really.
He's quite a sweet guy, he's just, you know,
he's having a really bad day.
It's one of those days, you know?
Oh, I understand.
This is a stressful situation for any civilian, ma'am.
-I've seen it all before. -I'm sure you have.
My god, your job
must be fascinating.
Excuse me, miss.
Who exactly are you?
Oh, you see, there's been
a huge misunderstanding.
See, I was in here accessing
my safety deposit box when
the alarm went off and I was so
frightened and, and so flustered
and then Jinx here ran in...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
...Who the hell is Jinx?
That'd be me, sir.
Oh... Please continue.
So in the ensuing confusion...
Jinx here mistook me for being part of the hold-up.
And so he took control of the situation and, and he's
quite a hero... But, uh, but now we've got that all worked out
and now, we both just want your help getting out of this awful vault.
Okay, miss... Just hang in there.
Help is in progress.
Thank you.
I'm gonna have to call you back...
I'm running low on batteries.
What are you gonna do?
Fuck! Fuck!
So...
How's it going?
Not good.
Not good at all.
We have an impasse...
A catch-22...
A Mexican stand-off.
Basically, fucked!
And how's the, uh...
Lexeprine been working out?
I don't know...
Prozac... Xanax... Same shit.
Just another serotonin
uptake inhibitor.
They think it'll work better for me.
I don't think it's workin' at all.
In fact, it's got me a touch...
Speedy.
No worries.
Situation is in hand.
Right...
Which, uh, situation?
Never mind.
Just go watch the guard.
Before I do that,
do you think...
You could look at my...
Gun really quick?
-What? -My gun, it keeps jamming.
I been messing around with it.
You know, I got the clip loader here and I was looking at the firing pin,
and that's not it.
And then, you know...
Just go pretend to guard the guard!
Oh, yeah, sure... Will do.
Fuck.
It's about time!
Thank you, by the way.
The tape was really beginning to kill my wrists.
[Jinx] I held up my end of the bargain.
Show of good faith, right?
What are we gonna do now?
I don't know. What are we gonna do now?
Seems like we're both living now.
A bit on the edge for me.
But I got to admit, I kind of like the view.
Living?
What is it that you live to do?
Huh, Jinx?
'Cause as far as I can tell, this is it.
You don't always get to choose the monumental moments in your life.
Sometimes they choose you.
And when they do, you take what you can get, so...
- Hello. - Hello.
Hello.
Hello, can you hear me?
Yeah, I was just saying hello.
Funny. Not really.
What the fuck's goin' on?
He's got the codes.
Okay, how about you?
I'm tied up.
So here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna get me safe passage out of here.
We'll talk terms later.
Hey, a show of good faith, right?
I always keep my end of the deal.
So what are you gonna do now?
I think I just did it.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Officer Degepse here.
How you two holdin' up?
Hey, I'm not holding up anything, that'd be the guys outside the vault.
Okay, then, what's your status?
I think that my status and your status are the same status.
Sort of "stuck" status.
Still locked in a vault, unable to get out, surrounded by armed robbers who
would love to get in and if they could get in the vault,
they certainly can't get out because they're surrounded by you,
who would love to throw them in prison, which I don't think is part of their plan.
Does that seem about right to you, sir?
Fuck.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Well, hang in there while we continue to try to establish
communication with the suspects.
You want help?
Thank you, but we have the matter well in hand.
Do you have their phone number?
Well...
They usually try to establish contact with us sometime
around this point.
Maybe you should just...
Just call 'em.
Thank you for your advice!
But we'll have to wait for them to communicate with us, okay?
All righty, then, but if you need their number, just holler
and I'll give it to you.
As I was leaving, I noticed... Not anything
particular... Not suspicious...
It's... It's just that...
-He... -What is it?
It's just...
He was kind of hot.
Any new developments?
Yeah, okay.
Hello, Degepse again.
Hey there, what's up?
Did I hear you say you had their phone number?
Yes... Yes, sir.
That's affirmative, sir.
You want it now?
Yeah!
...That'd be helpful!
You got a pen, pencil?
Just give me the number!
Uh, it's 3-6-7-9-3-8-9.
3-3-7-9-3-8-9, got it.
No, no, no-- 3-6-7-9-3-8-9.
It's a 6... 3-6-7.
...3-1-0 area code.
Ask for Simon.
Simon?
...That's his name?
Yeah, you know, I asked the same exact question.
I think he's using a fake name.
We're not too worried about that right now, are we?
No...
I guess not.
Um, yeah, anyway, ask for Simon.
Tell him Jinx gave you
the number.
I'll do that.
I saw that.
That is why I got a good look at him.
Distinguishing features?
Don't you guys have something better to do?
Huh?!
Uh, well, he's calling Simon.
That should keep him busy for a while.
Good, we can use that time.
So what's the deal?
What's the key to all this?
I mean, you know, what is this?
Well, first of all, it's not keys-- it's codes.
That's the deal. Okay.
I thought I was getting the hang of this.
I didn't exactly major in felony philosophy.
Okay.
Well, you see all these safety deposit boxes.
Each one belongs to an individual bank customer.
This isn't your typical sentimental valuables:
love letters or some kid's 10-pound play-doh art.
This is the central bank.
They hold all the shit people really want to keep safe.
The only problem is you'd have to individually break into every
box to get at the contents, right?
Well, we've got a choice.
We can try and physically break into every box...
Or we can electronically break
into one box.
Right.
Hey, whoa there, chatty.
A second ago, you were professor felony giving a master's
lock lecture.
You care to elaborate a bit?
We have our ways.
And what way would that be?
-Ways! -Ways.
Just ways.
That's-- yeah, I'm feeling pretty confident now.
We just got 'em, okay?
No, it's not okay.
It's not okay at all.
This oh-so-solid plan of yours,
it just went south.
Didn't it?
I am being held hostage in a vault,
conspiring to do god-knows-what
with my captor-slash-you know- partner, whatever you are.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't even know what I'm partners in
except sharing a locked vault.
-Huh. -Don't "huh" me.
I'm supposed to be the "huh" guy.
I'm supposed to be the one who's clueless about how
to rob a frickin' bank, not you.
My end of the deal was to get your ass out of here.
Your alibi.
And if you haven't noticed,
we're a far cry from two city
blocks out of this mess.
Which just so happens to be
the missing part of your
foolproof plan.
In return, you provide your
wealth of criminal knowledge
from your b.a. Degree
in bachelor of armed robbery.
So that's the deal, and if that's not the deal,
then we have no deal.
So deal...
With it.
You hungry?
I was stopping to get a bite
and I stopped at the A.T.M....
My 20 bucks.
Sweetie, you must be running
on fumes by now.
Yeah, I... I am, thank you.
But seriously, where did you
get the codes?
I mean, come on.
Where did they come from?
Seriously?
Seriously, I don't know.
Well, how does that work?
I'm just a hired gun.
The codes were texted to Simon and they were beamed to my phone, P.D.A.
Who texted?
You mean someone else sent the codes?
Some guy.
It's all very anonymous these days.
It's the best way to do
business, you know it's safe.
If you don't know anything
about them, they don't know
anything about you,
you can't turn each other in.
We're freelancers.
Temps, of sorts.
It's not like you just
answer a help wanted ad.
It's exactly like you
answer a help wanted ad.
Off the internet actually.
What do you think half those
useless blogs are really about?
You need somebody to do a job.
You need plausible deniability.
You post a topic.
Pre-arranged site.
Seemingly meaningless, random.
You don't think we're like
a bunch of disorganized thugs
in a hideaway, do you?
No, I guess I never really thought about it.
Exactly. Who's gonna monitor
the Duran Duran fan forum
chatroom when there's real crime
out on the streets?
Did you just say Duran Duran?
Yep.
Why not, uh, zeppelin?
Everybody knows zeppelin is a forum for C.I.A.
counter-terrorism.
Oh, you've gotta be
effing kidding me...
Zeppelin are spooks and Duran Duran
are '80s pretty boy bad-ass crime syndicate?
That is just not right.
No, it's absolutely true.
If someone posts looking for "a view to a kill,"
that means "assassin wanted."
If someone posts "are you hungry like the wolf?", that means hired hands for a bank job.
And so on.
So you're saying Duran Duran is at the center of an
international crime syndicate.
Well, I seriously doubt Nick Rhodes or Simon Lebon are actually involved.
But... It's not a bad place to hide, now, is it?
Did you just say "Simon"?
See?
I told you.
-This is weird. -Not really.
I mean, forget about porn sites and dot-coms.
Crime really is what pays.
The internet business is booming.
You just can't buy stock, you have to steal it.
Yeah, okay, fine, whatever, but why... Why Duran Duran?
Why?
Why not?
Anyway, Simon gets the codes.
We get in here.
They hold the place down
while I do my computer work.
Boom, the boxes are open.
We grab and go.
So the guy who sent the codes
gets a cut, huh?
It's almost civil, really.
Exchange a few numbers
for a percentage.
It's just a surcharge
of a different name, I guess.
Well, this particular guy
just wanted a pin number.
Pin number?
All I wanna know is who gave
you my number?
That's not important right now.
What's important is the safety of the people you have inside,
and us safely resolving
this situation.
Whatever. Jinx gave 'em up, didn't he?
I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
Cut the crap!
That little punk gave you
my cell number-- I know it!
I really don't know what you're talking about.
You think I'm an idiot?!
...You're gonna tell me you triangulated my cell signal
...Without knowin' my T.T.Y. frequency,
or even carrier for that matter.
Just admit it!
Jinx gave you my number.
You're only on the line because it's the only move you've got.
...You can't resolve the situation.
...And worse yet...
Worse yet, a civilian knows more about what's goin' on than you do.
Um... Under no circumstance am I authorized
to disclose that information, but I'd be happy to exchange myself for a safe
hostage release.
Then we can discuss this matter further.
What the hell was that?
Glock 19 semi-automatic. That's not good.
You can't.
Oh, you're right!
Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey!
...Listen, listen.
Let's take this down a few notches.
Did that get your attention,
officer?
I'm listening.
I hear you.
Now, I said...
I said, tell me...
...Who gave you this number!
...If you...
fuck... Hold on.
We're holding. We're holding...
No one's doing anything.
No, I mean, hold on, I've got another call coming in.
Hello?
What the hell was that?
That wake you up, did it?
Hey, you shut it-- I'm the one asking questions here.
If you ever want inside here and me out...
You're gonna tell me what the hell that was.
That was a glock.
Your phone just broke up.
I missed that last part.
Don't even start getting attitude with me.
...I happen to know exactly what kind of gun that was...
I want to know what's going on.
That was me.
Fuck.
I don't think that was me.
I think you've got a call comin' in.
Oh, you're right, I do.
Hold on.
-Hello? -We heard gunshots...
-Is everyone all right? -Yeah, we're fine in here.
I don't know about outside.
I'm trying to find out.
What... Are you talking to Simon?
Yeah, he's on the other line.
Hey, aren't you supposed
to be on the phone with Simon?
I am... I was... I'm on hold.
Hold on a second, I'll flash you in.
No! No! That's not a good idea!
Simon, you still there?
Yeah, I'm 'ere.
Great, hold on.
Hello?
Um, yeah, Degepse here.
Good, I think everyone's on the line.
Is everyone here?
Here.
I'm here. -All right.
I think we should all try to work together here
and work on some issues, okay?
I think... I think that...
I think... I think...
Come on, guys, don't get shy now.
Simon, is there something you wanna say to the officer?
-I'm sorry? -You see, officer Degepse,
Simon says he's sorry.
Now wait, I didn't mean...
Simon, shut it!
Officer Degepse, do you accept
Simon's apology?
-Officer Degepse? -Yes?
Good! You see?
Simon apologized and the officer
graciously accepts.
No no!
Wait!
As long as we're making progress,
I say we move ahead and release a few hostages,
just as a show of good faith.
I will gladly nominate myself,
just to get the ball rolling.
What do you guys say?
Now, wait just a second.
There's ways to do this.
No, I think it's a good idea.
I'm all for it.
-Who is that? -I don't know.
Aren't you already on the phone with everybody who's anybody around here?
What... What does the caller I.D. say?
I don't have caller I.D.
Answer it. Wait, wait, wait.
Just... Give me that.
Hello?
Hello, is anybody there?
-Who is this? -You're the one who called.
Who's this?
Who was it?
I don't know.
Wrong number, I guess.
Hello?
Okay, he just hung up on me twice.
That's just rude.
Hello? Hello?
You still there?
Hey guys, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay?
Just, just keep chatting amongst yourselves.
So?
Hey, don't look at me.
All right then.
Nick here. What's taking so long?
Hey, it's the guy you keep hanging up on.
Shit.
So, your name's Nick, huh?
Maybe.
Well, is it?
No.
Oh, weird, total deja vu just now.
Huh?
Never mind.
So, uh, are you Jessica's
boyfriend or something?
Look, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
You have the wrong number.
You called me!
Right, then.
Uh... I had the wrong number.
Sorry to trouble you, 'bye.
Hey-- stop calling me!
-No. -What?
No, I said no.
You can't just say no.
Yes, I can.
No. You see? You see?
No no no no no.
Who are you?
I'm glad you asked, I'm Jason Taylor.
People call me Jinx though.
So it seems like I've taken the first step.
Nick... Nick Rhodes.
Okay, what's going on here?
Who are you?
What do you know?
How do you know?
What's the deal?
Seems to be my theme ever
since I locked myself
in this frickin' vault.
You? You're in the vault?
In the vault?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Am I getting bad cell reception?
Because I know a spot up in the corner
if you really want me to go up there.
Who are you?
Jinx, I think we covered that.
Who are you... "Nick"?
Oh, god.
Wha...
-What? -He did it again.
I hate this guy.
If I see your men any closer than 25 yards,
I'm putting holes in these walking body bags.
I hear you, I hear you.
Um, excuse me, but I think you better answer that.
It could be Jinx.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right, hold on.
Hello, Jinx?
How's it going?
I think we're making real progress out here.
Hey, Jinxy... Is that you?
Is there anything you might want to tell...
Oh, say, me?
Anything to tell, like a...
Like an update?
Something like that.
Ah, things are going fine...
Just fine. I mean...
maybe a little bit behind schedule.
Anything in particular slowing things up?
-Like? -Like some guy...
locking himself in the vault who somehow
has full knowledge of our
identities, our cell numbers
and has the ability to dial
9-1-1, handing you a first-class
pass to ass class
in the federal penitentiary?
That sort of thing?
Okay, we, we...
We do have one small dilemma,
quite similar to the one
you just described.
Is there anything else
you'd like to add?
Not really.
Okay, is there anything
else you'd not like to add
that I should know?
Well, you, uh, you know
the guy you just, uh,
you just described?
Uh, well, he has got one of our,
uh, he's taken one of our people
hostage in the vault and, uh,
we're, uh...
we're locked out with, uh, with no way in.
Thank you.
I truly appreciate your candor.
And a tactical analysis, what would that currently be?
-Fucked. -Great.
Okay, let me get back to you with a backup plan that should solve a few problems.
Really?
Oh, that'd be great...
Maybe not.
- Hello? - I want to make a deal.
A deal.
I do.
...As I figure it, 50% of something
is a lot better than 100% of nothing.
-Yeah, and? -And, frankly,
nothing is all I've got right now.
So what do you want?
What's it gonna take?
You know what? Hold that thought.
I'm gonna click over. I'll be right back.
Hello?
- I want to make a deal. - Come again?
I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot.
I'd like to start over and introduce myself.
I'm Nick.
I'm calling to cut you in on this thing.
Uh, okay.
So, uh, a deal.
Okay, so, so what's the deal with the, with the...
A deal, Nick?
It is Nick, isn't it?
You know, I apologize for the pseudonym.
It's not that I don't trust you,
really, it's just sort of
an occupational hazard.
Oh, yeah, no, I...
I understand, I get it.
It's not like my name's really Jinx either.
It isn't?
No, it Is. That is my name.
Hey, that's okay. Perfectly valid.
Anyway, what can I do for you, Nick?
Jinx, we have a bit of a situation here,
a quagmire as it were,
and I think it's down to you and me to figure this thing out.
You and me? Okay.
I'm gonna put the cards on the table.
You have something I need--
information-- information
my associates are no longer
in a position to offer.
I propose we adapt, evolve,
grow some balls, and walk
ourselves out of this quagmire.
I'll cut to the chase. What do you want?
My 20 bucks.
I'm sorry...
Did you say 20 bucks?
Yup.
I don't want to be rude,
but I think you might want
to revise that number.
You think?
Like... What?
Like, look around you.
I'd add a few zeroes to that
$20 figure of yours.
And I just walk out with everything.
You don't want any piece of this money?
All I need is for you to walk over to the computer terminal
and generate a pin number for me.
Easy as pie.
Same arrangement I had with them.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?
If it ain't broke...
Right.
Yeah, so, I, I walk.
And you have no problem selling out Simon and Jessica and...
Whoever else, just for a little info?
This must be a pretty valuable pin number.
Things change.
We adapt, right?
-Bullshit. -What?
I said... "Bullshit."
You had no intention of letting these guys out of here, did you, Nick?
What are you talking about?
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," right?
In fact, that reminds me of something a friend once said,
"breaking into a bank is what screws you, because breaking
in takes time and time is what gets you caught."
So how do you rob a bank without breaking in?
Unlock everything at once, fast and efficient?
Use this computer, a few codes, then grab and go?
No, I don't think so.
If you knew enough to get these codes and what to do with them,
then you knew that this vault door would seal up as soon as the alarm was tripped.
Boom... You're trapped.
So while the codes seem like a good idea, they're nothing
more than bait... Just means to some other end for you.
In other words, the codes are bullshit.
It's really all about that innocent little pin,
which I'm betting is worth a hell of a lot more than anything else
in here but the only way to get that pin is in this vault.
I don't know, just a working theory, Nick.
All righty there, Colombo.
You seem to be answering a lot of unasked questions for an innocent bystander.
What the hell are you getting at?
Hey, it's not for nothing, but I didn't ask to be locked
in this frickin' vault.
All I ever wanted was my 20 bucks, but no.
Some greedy bastard decided it was a great idea to increase
his bank's profit margin,
fire tellers to lower corporate
costs, close branches,
install endless A.T.M. Machines,
surcharging my ass to kingdom come,
until I can't afford my own 20 bucks.
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
I'm glad you asked.
"Insufficient funds" means I had to walk my ass
into the only grant liberty I could find to withdraw my money,
but it was already having a large withdrawal made--
i.e., being robbed-- which was perfectly fine
by me until some jackass pointed a gun at me.
So this guy gets all jumpy, tries to blow my head off.
His gun jams and I run for cover in this vault, which proceeds
to lock behind me, locking me in this vault where I literally run
into some super hot chick who I'm trapped with, which sounds
great except she proceeded to punch me in the face,
ruining my otherwise wonderfully boring day and wasting
my pedantically precious time.
Bummer.
So screw it.
Screw service fees and screw you.
You and all the corporate convenience criminals
are equally fucked in your high-tech heists.
You cannot keep screwing guys like me and then add a surcharge for it.
I am taking charge of the surcharge.
In short, blow me. I want answers.
Wow, you are having a bad day.
Please, go on.
The real question is, how do
you get in this vault
without getting trapped in this vault?
-My guess? You don't do it at all.
You don't care if your anonymously hired guns
get trapped as long as they're in the vault,
because as long as you had someone in the vault,
you had what you wanted...
-Almost. -I'm hanging up.
No, no, you know... Fuck you, you're not hanging up!
You know why? Because you don't have your four precious little numbers.
What the... ?
Jessica. Name's Jessica.
I'm one of the ones you set up to screw.
Yeah, it almost hurts, doesn't it?
-What? -I'm glad you asked.
-It's called "exploding noema." -Huh?
It's the theory about the moment you can't reconcile
the difference between your perception of what should be
versus the reality of what is.
I find completely screwing someone
with a classic double-cross only to find
they're now your only hope will pretty much explode your noema.
But I'm betting that moment's passed now
and I'm betting you're more in a dealing mood.
You want your precious pin?
There's gonna be a surcharge.
So what's it gonna be, Nick?
Okay...
Jessica, you okay?
I'm fine.
You know, I think somebody cut the power in here.
Yeah, you think?
Yeah, well, who cut the power then?
And why and what's going on, you know, that sort of thing?
I don't, I don't really know,
but it's not good.
Uh, Nick, we're gonna have
to call you back.
We have to fix this.
I mean, I don't have a handle on this whole thing, but
it's pretty apparent that our fate and any possible
fortune is in that computer.
N... Nobody panic, okay?
Let me, uh, just... Make a phone call.
-...Oh, hey there. -Hello?
Hey, what happened?
I don't know!
I've been on hold
this whole time... With you!
Are you trying to keep me waiting?
I have to admit, I have to admit...
nice negotiation tactic.
You had me going there for a while.
Uh, no, I... I just forgot about you.
Really?
How'd you forget about me?
I was... I was just busy, that's all.
Busy? You're locked in a vault!
What the fuck could you be
doing to keep you busy?
Uh... You worry me now, Jinx.
Oh, i'm, I'm sorry.
Really, please, don't worry.
Officer Degepse was just talking me through this crisis.
It's, it's been very stressful for me, you know?
I didn't let him know anything, really.
I figured you'd want me to keep him waiting
while you and I make some sort of deal.
Okay... okay.
Good thinking, Jinxy.
That was good.
All right.
It's, uh, you and me.
About that deal...
Well, first... What happened?
It's frickin' dark in here.
I think they cut the power.
Don't sweat it.
They just do this to be intimidating.
First order of business is that we reach an agreement,
then we negotiate with the cops...
Free some hostages in exchange
for putting the power back on...
And, um... Hold on, I think my, uh... Hold on, I think my bat...
Fuck! Fuck!
We got three guys over there, two...
A cell phone?
Think he's trying to communicate with us...
Sir?
Hello?
Officer Degepse here.
How you two holding up?
Oh, hey there. Yeah, we're okay.
Any change in status in there?
Well, it's a little darker in here.
My eyes are just starting to adjust.
-...Uh, not really. -Good, good.
I need you to sit tight and...
Dude, we need him to turn the power back on or we're,
we're screwed.
Sorry, what was that? I missed the last part.
I said, do you have any other way of contacting Simon?
He says he has no way of contacting Simon.
-Why? -That's a good question.
Uh... Why?
Because this Simon character
has tossed his phone for
no apparent reason.
His actions are growing
increasingly irrational and
I would like to prevent
any regrettable incidents
before they occur.
Unfortunately, I now have no way of contacting him.
All right, um, we'll see what we can do.
What do we do?
We can't ask for Simon's help because we'd have to make him
a deal and making a deal with
Simon is pointless because, like
it or not, at this point he's
just... He's shit out of luck.
We could... Ask for Simon.
Degepse here.
Hey, I got,
I got through to Simon.
He has a few demands.
He, uh, he says he's finished negotiating unless you give him
something as, you know, a show of good faith.
Go ahead. What are his demands?
One, he wants a civilian chartered helicopter
on the roof within 15 minutes.
Two, he walks with half the money and no one gets hurt.
And three, he wants the power on
to, just to get the show on the road.
Personally, I wouldn't give that schizoid asshole anything
unless it was something totally useless like, you know,
like the, like the power back on thing.
I'll try to convince him that
turning the power on is, is,
you know, just a start.
May as well try.
He, he sounds desperate
and willing to throw it all away.
You say he sounds desperate?
You really think he's to the
point of throwing it all away?
Yeah, I told you they were trying to tell us something
with that whole "chucking the cell phone at your head" thing.
Tell him the power will be
back on in a minute.
Well, that's a start-- now you can get what's-his-name back on the phone.
I'll get this thing booted up and ready for... Whatever.
Hello?
So listen up.
Believe me when I tell you this whole thing is going south, so
whatever it is you were planning to do, I suggest we do it
and whatever deal we need to make, I suggest we make it
or none of us are going anywhere
or getting anything anytime soon...
Except maybe 10 to 20 in San Quentin.
So what's it gonna be?
Good to hear from you too.
Dude... Shut it.
The police cut the power.
No power, no computer.
No computer, no point.
You count on that little hiccup?
Oh, god, really?
No, uh... I didn't.
Well, you can thank me later.
It's back up for the moment.
Unless you tell me what our
little team here is about to do,
this whole thing is gonna be over before it began.
Okay, do you have the computer up?
I believe we're good.
Enter that number in the "personal identification
number" sub menu.
In that page, you'll see
four digits corresponding
to an A.T.M. Card.
You're gonna click that option
and read me the four digits
that appear in the box.
It is that easy.
-No, it's not. -I'm sorry?
Last time I checked, there's
no "I" in "team" or felony grand
theft of a federal reserve bank.
You get that number
and you're gone.
That pin number belongs to an A.T.M. Card I don't have
which belongs to an account I don't have.
So unless you can find a way to share
your little high-tech heist, you're stuck.
I suggest you begin by telling
me what it is we're stealing
and, uh, the clock's ticking.
Okay, fine.
Nickels and dimes... Lots of 'em.
What, why? Why are we stealing change?
Why? Because I could.
Getting greedy with what you want to steal will only get you caught.
You have to ask yourself why you think you can get away with it.
Know why and the what, where and how will follow.
Okay, so... How are we gonna rob a bank
and, and actually get away with it?
Ever notice how everything has some piddly-ass surcharge added?
Yeah, now you're speaking to the choir, my friend.
Now I need you to listen closely and be really honest here.
Shoot.
Do you always balance your checkbook?
Oh... I mean, I...
-I've done it. -Yeah, right.
And even if you do that, do you ever, ever, ever check
to see if the bank didn't charge you a surcharge
for an A.T.M. transaction?
You had me at checkbook.
Which brings us back to why.
It's simple.
The world is too complicated to keep track of.
Life is made of a million moments, transactions, passwords and pin numbers to memorize.
It's not that we don't want to keep track, it's just
that it's not worth our time until you add it up.
How do we rob a bank and why will we get away with it?
Add up the chump change.
We're stealing surcharges
and it's missing money
no one is missing.
Yeah, but what about the bank missing it?
We have a problem.
Yeah, that's what I'm asking about.
No, no, no, it's uh...
Another kind of problem.
Oh...
I wasn't planning on getting locked in here.
We've been in here for hours.
I couldn't hold it forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
of course.
Um... Well...
I just won't look.
All right, um...
Oh wait, I've got an idea.
Nick, hold on.
What's going on?
Don't ask.
What are you doing?
Ah!
No way!
Beggars can't be choosers, man.
So, what about the bank noticing?
Well, like I said, you never rob the bank.
-At least, not noticeably. -Stop it!
So what if, for every dozen A.T.M. transactions,
you simply divert one surcharge into an account already set up within the bank.
Nothing more than missing nickels and no way to track it.
Yeah, I'm all for the economics lesson but,
-uh, what are we really talking about here? -Honestly?
Honestly is the only choice you have if you ever want to see any of that money.
Okay... $8,266,500.
Can you hear me now?
That's a lot of transactions.
Those nickels and dimes add up.
And no one's on to you?
Why? The stolen money never left the bank.
The irony is, it is all just sitting in legitimate grant liberty accounts.
Waiting to be withdrawn.
That's right.
As long as you have a valid pin number to those accounts,
you can just slowly withdraw it, using nothing more
than an A.T.M. card.
No one would ever notice.
How to rob a bank.
And actually get away with it.
If I'm not mistaken, we'd better work out a deal
before there's nothing worth working out, so you give us
your account numbers and we'll assign the pin
to a new A.T.M. card. -No deal.
If I just give you the accounts,
giving you the accounts is like giving me the pin.
No guarantee the other
won't take off with it all.
Okay, what now?
Somebody will just have to trust somebody.
I don't suppose my good word would be sufficient.
Honor among thieves and all that?
Wait.
"Insufficient funds"--
that's what got my ass into this
mess in the first place.
Yeah, your 20 bucks,
surcharges.
No, my pin. We assign my pin number
to Nick's accounts.
That way, only I know my pin
and only Nick has the card
and the accounts.
And?
See, you can't use the A.T.M. card without my pin number
and without the card and the accounts, the pin is useless.
We don't have to trust each other.
We can meet and use the two together
and then go our separate ways.
Works for me.
You guys hold on to that idea.
I better get this.
-Hello? -All right.
The power has been up for over 10 minutes now,
and still no word from anybody in there.
Have you heard anything?
Uh, not really, um,
well, you see...
...What? I didn't know what else to do.
I think we're out of time.
Hey-- what's up?
This is it, it's now or never.
Either we go with Jinx's plan
or that money just sits in the bank forever.
Okay, you're right.
A couple million bucks is better
than none, right?
Just go to the computer,
do what I told you before
you have Jinx enter his pin.
Okay.
Jinx... What is it?
I, I don't know, what if we get caught?
You know, what if we end up serving life?
Life?
Right.
See, I don't know about you, Jinx,
but this hasn't felt like much of a life to me.
I'm just some anonymous hired hand.
Is this my life?
This for the rest of my life?
Is your life about buck fifty surcharges?
Playing bitch boy to every Simon and Grant Liberty?
When are we gonna make some choices of our own?
Today has been...
Different.
I think this is it.
You know, I think this is...
Life.
Choices like this.
You know, our lives aren't made up of some big monumental moment.
It's a choice here and a choice there and life is made up
like that, of these tiny moments.
I just... I think I'm sick of this life.
So, how big can we make this moment, Jinx?
And get a life?
Are you insane?
This, this is a tiny moment to you?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
It's... It's a big moment.
It's a... Yeah.
But the principle's the same.
You know, make a choice.
What are we gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna get my 20 bucks, and then some.
Right, yeah, let's do this.
Enter your pin.
So this little box is the key to our fortune, huh?
There, that's it.
We're done.
Now what?
Now...
We go.
Excuse me, guys?
It just occurred to me we have a problem.
What's up?
Well, you have no way out.
What?
Well...
She doesn't have a way out.
What do you mean?
She's got the scam with the cops.
They think she's one of the hostages.
Okay, well, that doesn't solve the "Simon" problem.
Even if you wait until the cops storm the place,
he's not going quietly.
He can easily turn her in when he finds out she's not busted with him.
No, no, not after all this.
Hold on.
Officer Degepse here.
Sorry my signal died but I'm back in a good zone.
Yay--any news?
Simon says he appreciates your show of good faith
and in return, he's willing to release two hostages.
...Me and Jessica.
No shit? Really?
Okay, we got you covered.
...We've got you covered, look.
All right, look... Listen...
Make your way out slowly.
We'll take care of the rest.
This will all be over soon.
So I'll tell Simon you're ready for the release.
Now we're cooking with gasoline.
Do you have any way of reaching Simon?
Yeah, I can call Roger.
-Who? -His...muscle.
The other guy on the team, here,
he gave me his number in case of complications.
I think this qualifies as a complication.
Yeah... Nick, we're gonna call you back.
-Hello? -I gotta talk to Simon.
He's kind of busy at the moment... Who's this?
Roger, put him on the phone.
-Hello? -Hey, it's me, Jinx.
Hey, Jinx, what's up?
I have to admit, you've really got me worried now.
Sorry for the wait,
but we better make a deal fast.
I just got off the phone with Degepse.
-What'd he say? -He says if they don't see
cooperation from you in five minutes,
they're storming the place with swat.
Shit... Shit.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Shit...
Okay.
What do they want?
You're not gonna like it.
What-- what is it?
They want at least one hostage released and...
And? And what?
One of you has to turn yourself in.
Fine.
They can have Jessica.
Really?
You'll turn her in just like that?
What do I care?
You want out and I want in.
Take Jessica as your insurance.
And the cops get their precious
negotiation pawn, yeah?
Sounds like a plan.
What's wrong?
This is our way out.
Yeah...
You know, um...
That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.
Really?
Yeah.
Right, let's get the hell out of here.
What are you doing?
I'm setting up our next rendezvous...
Outside this vault.
Oh, yeah?
Is that a second date?
You better tie me up.
So Simon still thinks I'm your hostage.
You wish.
Here, help me with this.
Look okay?
That's good.
All right, I'm coming out!
I don't want any trouble.
Huh... I imagined you taller.
Fuck me, Jinxy!
Nice attitude.
You've come a long way today.
I can't go out there like this!
I'm supposed to be a hostage like you, not your hostage.
They're gonna know something's up.
You're supposed to be my hostage for Simon's sake
if we want to get away with this.
What do you suggest we do?
Be careful, man, that thing's loaded.
-Shit. -Wait right fuckin' there, you two!
It's jammed...
Fuck...
Move! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!
Show me your hands!
Up against the wall!
Put the gun down!
Put the gun down, motherfucker!
Show me your hands! Show me your hands!
Move! Move, I said!
Back your ass up!
Get on the ground!
On the ground now!
Don't move!
Don't move, motherfucker!
...Do you understand me?
You have the right to remain...
Show me your hands!
Anything you say can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney...
- That way! - If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be appointed to you.
Do you understand the rights I have just stated?
Move out the way-- get out of the way!
Move! ...I got it, I got it!
Oh, ni... Hear me...
...Damn... How about now?
Yes, loud and clear.
Good, okay, where were we?
...Chump change...
That dime you don't even bother picking up
is the same dime we all get bent over for.
So surcharge the surchargers.
I agree... But there is one flaw
in your plan.
Oh... A flaw in my plan, hmm?
If we've got the pin and you've got the accounts,
what happens next?
What happens when we meet?
Trust the fatal flaw.
Well, there's only one answer.
Did you know that statistics
say that 98% of all convicted
criminals have successfully
committed at least one previous
crime before they were caught?
That means almost everyone
gets away with it,
at least once.
They had a good thing,
but no, they had to go try their luck again.
Oh, by the way...
Tip number 10?
Know when to walk away.
Hungry like the wolf.