[music]
What's up, Pops?
Hey, let me ask y'all something.
If you were a science teacher, would you be more impressed
with a potato that could turn on a light bulb
or a plant grown in artificial light?
[Malik & Lisa] hmm
Does Mrs. Payne know you're trying to impress
the science teacher? Because I don't think
she'll appreciate that, but I ain't gonna tell her
'cause that's grown folks' business.
Okay. I don't know what worries me more, the fact that
you think my dad is cheating with a science teacher
or the fact that you would cover up for him.
What did y'all buy at the grocery store,
two jars of stupid?
The twins have a science project.
I'm trying to pick which one they're going to do.
Why are you doing their project?
Because I want them to get A's.
And if I don't help them, they're not gonna do that.
You don't know that.
I raised this boy. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice.
What?
What's wrong with me?
I'll tell you, but you might
want to put those groceries down.
-It might take a while. -[laughs]
No, I'm just kidding with you.
I just want the twins to challenge themselves,
-that's all. -But if it's their project,
don't you think they should pick what they wanna do?
I mean, you've been a little controlling.
Volcanos!
Hayden, Jayden, come down! Let me tell you what
you're gonna do for your science project!
-What was that you said? -You're being controlling.
Yeah, I'm-I'ma agree with her.
[music]
[birds chirping]
[plane flying overhead]
[sirens wailing] [horns honking]
[fireworks whistling, bursting]
[siren wailing]
Ella!
[Ella] Yes?
Ella!
What has gotten into you? What, baby?
Baby, where are my keys?
I did not touch your keys.
Then where'd they go?
How am I supposed to know, baby?
'Cause you always moving stuff.
It's called cleaning.
If you helped out with it every once in a while,
you may be able to track your little things.
Really?
Victim blaming, Ella?
Shame on you.
Baby, where do you need to go anyway?
What? I gotta go get my hair cut.
And I don't wanna be late for my appointment
and lose it with Joe.
Then go to another barber.
Put this beautiful crown of hair in the hands of another barber?
Okay.
Now, Ella, you know nobody touches this head but Joe!
-Period. -Okay, but Curtis what--
I don't know where your keys are, baby.
-Hey, hey, family. -Hey, baby.
Thanks for letting me use your car, Pop.
You know what? Hey, baby.
When did I let you borrow my car?
You gave me the keys last night. Remember, mine's in the shop?
That's no excuse for you not to tell me, Calvin.
-What exactly did I do wrong? -[Ella] Chuckles
Don't get smart with me, boy.
Pops, why are you so angry?
Oh, okay.
You see what he doing?
He got that from you!
Flippin' this thing, trying to make it my fault!
Okay, baby, if you gave him the keys and you forgot,
how is it not your fault?
Still victim blaming, huh?
-Okay. -Do you know what? I'm sorry.
For what?
For borrowing the car that you told me I could borrow.
[laughing]
Well, don't do it again.
Okay?
Don't think you're so grown, I can't put my hands on you.
And I know there better be some gas in my vehicle.
It was empty when you gave it to me.
There you go.
Now he victim blaming. Good job.
-Good job. -Okay, baby.
Uh-uh, uh-uh. [clears throat]
[Ella laughs]
[laughs]
-Hey, baby. -Hey, Dad.
So did the twins finish their science project?
-They sure did. -Okay. Where is it?
It's right over there.
Where?
It's right there on the table.
What is that?
It's a volcano.
It is?
That's what Hayden and Jayden said.
Well, where's the lava?
I mean, where's the smoke?
They told me they didn't want to use any effects.
Did you ask?
Yes, I asked. And they said they like it just the way it is.
Far be it from me to tell an artist how to do their work.
Well, as a big sister, you have an obligation
to let them know that their work is trash.
Dad, come on.
Don't you think you're putting a little too much on this?
They didn't even say what kind of volcano it is.
Is it shield? Is it composite?
I have no idea.
That's 'cause they didn't-- They didn't put a plaque on it.
Wait, a plaque?
Yeah. It needs a gold plaque, so that, you know,
to tell everyone what it is.
They can't just write it on an index card and call it a day?
You always did have a problem with cutting corners.
They're in elementary school. It ain't that serious.
It's school! It's their future!
Today it's a science project, tomorrow they're getting
arrested for cheating their way into college.
Actually, tomorrow they're still gonna be in elementary school.
The only time they're gonna be caught cheating
is during duck, duck, goose.
You'll understand one day when you have children of your own
and you want the best for them.
Yeah.
I'm always gonna want the best for my kids.
And what you gonna do when they don't want the best
for themselves?
I don't know what I would do, but...
I'd probably talk to them about it.
Have you ever tried to talk to a child about the future?
It's like trying to explain that Santa Claus goes to every house
in one night. They don't get it. You gotta fill in the gaps.
What are you even sayin'?
I don't know. Just get my power tools,
so I can fix this thing up.
Wait. You gonna do their work for them?
No, no, no. I'm just gonna... polish up, you know,
their effort a little bit.
-Jazz it up. -All right.
[phone ringing]
Hey, what's up, Cuzzo?
-What? -What's wrong?
Uncle Curtis was in a car accident.
Is he okay?
Yeah, uh, Aunt Ella's at the hospital with him right now.
Yeah. I'm-I'll be right over. I'ma--I'ma go over to the house.
Um, do me a favor. Watch the twins for me.
[music]
Man, I hope Pops is all right.
Yeah. Well, Mrs. Payne said to stay here
and she'd bring him home, so he can't be hurt too badly.
True. I mean, if it was real serious,
they wouldn't let him leave the hospital.
My cousin got in a car accident last week,
and they wouldn't let him leave the hospital.
Baby, no. They-they were holding him for the police.
Yeah. The only accident he got into
was after he stole the ambulance.
Oh, yeah.
I don't what I would do if something happened
to Uncle Curtis. Man, I know he's a cranky old man
and yells a lot, but that's my dude.
Mr. Curtis does have a bad temper and can be so impatient,
but... I like to think of him as a pineapple.
A pineapple?
Yeah. He's got, like, a tough, prickly outside,
but on the inside, he's really sweet.
How? The only sweet thing he's ever done for me
was give me flowers.
But that is sweet, Lisa.
He took them off of a grave of a dead man.
Smitty Williams.
Unc told me about that one.
He don't play when it come to his dinero.
They're here!
[Ella] Just take your time. Here, Calvin.
Take your time now.
Watch your step.
Just watch your step, baby.
Hey, Mr. Payne. How are you feeling?
Hey. I don't know. I guess I'm okay.
-Come on. -Just a little woozy is all.
Come over here and have a seat.
The doctor says that he is suffering from a concussion.
But the MRIs and the CT scans,
they all say that he didn't have major damage.
What happened? How'd you get hurt?
You know what? I really can't recall. I...
I know I swerved trying to miss a car
that had drifted into my lane.
And I guess, apparently, I hit a tree.
Praise God you are okay. You had me so worried.
We were all worried about you, Mr. Payne.
Oh. Thank you. That is so kind of you.
That's so kind of you all.
But if you can help me with something...
Why did you bring me here?
And who are you people?
[music]
What do you mean, who are you people?
Well, I mean, I don't wanna be in your home and be rude.
Oh.
Well, hello, young man.
Apparently, I'm Curtis Payne. And you would be?
Calvin. I'm your son.
You my boy?
Wow!
I guess I got some handsome DNA to have a fine,
handsome fella like you for a son.
Wait a minute. If you didn't know who Aunt Ella was,
why did you get in the car with her?
I mean, look at her. A fine, little foxy thing
wanted to bring you home from the hospital
and take care of you, what man would say no?
Ooh, I'm sorry. I didn't get your name, sweetheart.
Wait... You don't know who I am? And we've been married
for over 30 years and you don't remember me?
Now, wait a minute. You mean to tell me we're already married?
-Curtis. -Wow.
How'd I get a beautiful, little foxy thing like you?
I'm Laura.
-Oh, Laura. -Mr. Payne.
-Hello, Laura. -Hey.
I'm Calvin's fiancée.
I guess we both have trophy wives.
Now, I'm sorry. Who are you?
-I'm C.J. -C.J.
-Okay. Do I know you? -I'm your nephew.
Wow, I have a nephew? Oh, man. Well, tell me.
Was I a good uncle to you?
I mean, did I, like, take you fishing
That's pretty mean of me.
Well, did you learn how to swim?
Either that or drown.
Well, I guess I accomplished the goal, right?
Well, I'll tell you what, nephew, if you ever need
some advice on women, you come and talk to your uncle.
Because apparently, I know what I'm talking about.
Curtis, you have never been this flattering.
I'm sorry. What's her name? What's her name again?
Ella.
Uncle Curtis, I'm Malik. I'm C.J.'s son.
Oh, oh. Okay. Okay, you're C.J.'s.
-My nephew? -Yeah.
Okay, then you're my nephew too?
And...
And wh-wha?
-And I'm Lisa. -Lisa.
Why won't you introduce the mother of your child?
-I'm sorry... -Hmm?
Wow. Another beautiful wife.
Well, we know how to pick them, don't we?
Um, okay, so I guess, if I'm married to--
-[All] Ella. -Ella.
Then I guess I live here too?
-Yes. -You do.
This is home.
Wow. Well, then, I mean, can I get you something to drink
or something? I don't wanna be a rude host.
Pops, we're fine. What can we do for you?
Oh, nothing.
I mean, I'm fine, too.
I'll tell you what, I am...
I'm a little tired from the long ride.
I guess, from the hospital. Um...
If you could just tell me where the restrooms are,
I need to use the restroom.
That's crazy what happened to Uncle Curtis.
-Yea, I know, right? -Yeah. I can't believe
he lost his memory. You think it'll ever come back?
Girl, he'll be fine. He always is.
I don't know.
At least it's not too serious.
I don't know if I'd call amnesia not serious. I mean,
it's gotta be pretty hard not remembering the ones you love.
Well, at least Uncle Curtis seems nicer.
You know Uncle Curtis ain't never been nice.
He's usually snapping at people, but he seemed real calm
and you know, even-tempered since the accident.
Yeah, I mean, it's a complete 180.
I mean, the last time I saw him, he was yelling at a kid
in church for talking too loud.
Well, it is rude to talk in church.
Baby, the kid was praying.
He had no soft spot for a child.
Kids! Oh! I gotta finish the twins' science project.
-Where's my tools? -Here we go.
Wh-why is he doing Hayden's and Jayden's science project?
You've been in this family long enough.
Does anything make sense?
[music]
What's going on, Dad?
What's up, Malik?
Where's your little brother and sister?
They're outside playing, instead of being in here
doing their science project.
They would've just gotten in my way.
Dad, don't you think this is a little excessive?
Shh.
Check this out.
[C.J.] Since the beginning of time, man and beast
have trembled in fear of the fury of the volcano.
Ancient man thought they were the wrath of the gods.
Wow. Good job doing your children's science project, Dad.
That's dope, right?
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
What y'all say? That's-that's lit? That's lit?
-Nah. -We don't say that.
-We don't day that anymore. -That was never a thing,
honestly. No, Dad.
-[music] -It look good though.
-Good job. -Good job.
[Jazmine] Alright.
And this is when you took me and mom to Sea World.
Ah, Sea World. Okay.
What-what? Why are there so many leaves
and branches in the picture?
Oh, well, you didn't want to pay for tickets,
so we sat in a tree that overlooked the park.
Why would I do something like that?
Well, you said it was the same show,
which turned out to be true. I mean, it wasn't so bad as
long as you had binoculars
and good balance.
Oh, wow.
Well, I'll tell you what, I think
we need to take a real family vacation.
That's what I think.
Okay. It'd be a nice and a fun way for me
to get to know everybody again.
-That sounds like a lot of fun. -Great.
Baby, do we have enough money to take a vacation right now?
Huh? What? Excuse me?
-What? -Oh my Lord, don't be rude now.
Now, I'm--this trip is on me. You're not spending your money.
-Oh, oh, oh.
-[Laura] Okay. -Well, thank you, Pops.
Well, let me know when you wanna go
and I'll take some time off work.
Okay, son. Okay, that's great! But I'll tell you what,
I'll talk to, um...
What's her name? The-the little older, foxy lady?
-Ella. -The one I'm married to. Ella?
Okay. I'm gonna go talk to Ella.
And set everything up.
-Okay? -Okay.
Get set.
Okay, son.
Beautiful people. [laughs]
-Oh, hey, Ella! -Hi, baby.
Yeah, I was just talking to our son about taking a vacation.
Curtis! Wait a minute. I spilled some water right here.
-Oh. -[Ella] Wait a minute!
Okay. Well, thank you for the warning, Ella. [laughs]
Yeah, I was just telling Calvin
that we should take a real vacation,
and that way it would be fu--[screams]
Curtis! Calvin! Curtis, just wait, wait, wait, baby.
Don't move.
Cal-Calvin!
Curtis.
Curtis, open your eyes, baby.
Just open them.
-Hey, Pop. How are you feeling? -[screaming]
I feel like I slipped and hit my head on the damn floor.
How the hell you think I feel?
And who the hell put me on here with my shoes on the sofa?
Me. Why?
Calvin, what you trying to get me to scuff up all my furniture?
I'm sorry, Pop. I panicked.
Wait, wait. Wait a second.
Who am I?
Laura.
You don't know who the hell you are?
Oh, I know who I am. And who--
I told you she was crazy.
Where is it?
Is this?
That's Floyd. And he got on my best damn jacket.
And he got my--matter of fact, somebody give me my phone.
I need to call him. He gonna give me back my Members Only
today!
And he's back.
[Ella] Ha!
Like he never left!
It's good to see Uncle Curtis back to his old self.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
I'm a little disappointed, though, because
he was talking about paying off my student loans.
-I forgot about that. -Mm-hmm.
Well, maybe we'll get lucky and he'll hit his head again.
Right.
Hey, what's up? How'd it go at the science fair?
Not good. We got into a lot of trouble.
[Lisa] Oh, no.
Yeah, and we have to do our science project all over.
But why?
I don't know what y'all are looking at me for.
The teacher thought that they cheated
and had someone else do their project for them.
Oh, really?
Sounds like I was right, huh?
Apparently.
But uh, I'm not allowed to help.
Good, you was doing way too much anyway.
Yeah.
I know.
That's why you're gonna help.
What?
[Both] Yay! Let's go play!
Oh, the supplies, they're-- they're in the car.
Wh-Why are you telling me?
'Cause you gonna do it. Get the supplies, man.
When are you gonna let the kids do the kids' project?
When they gonna learn?
A's, man. We need A's around here.
And you think I'm gonna give 'em one?
[music]