Baby, hurry up, please...
or we're gonna be late for the reservation!
[Ella] Curtis, don't rush me,
or we're gonna be more than late!
[door handle jiggling] [knock on door]
We're closed, go away!
-[Calvin] Let me in. -Why?
[Calvin] I need to talk to you.
About what...I can't even hear you...about what?
-[Calvin] Pops. -Tear my door down
we gonna have an issue.
Mmm-mm, that's a snazzy suit. Where are you going?
If your mom ever get ready, we're going to the steakhouse
for dinner tonight.
Huh, fancy.
Then we're going to some musical.
[barfing sound]
Musical? Which one?
The one where people sing and dance for no reason.
-[Curtis] It's stupid. -It's not stupid.
It is stupid.
Wait a minute-- it's not stupid, it's culture.
Help me with-- thank you, baby.
Yes, you need culture, culture, culture.
Will you look at this suit? Look at my suit.
Look at me-- I got plenty of culture, thank you.
-Hey, Mom, you look lovely. -Thank you, baby.
Child, green is your color.
-Oh, you like this? -I do.
-Why are you so sharp? -Oh, well, my and Laura are
meeting with her parents for dinner tonight.
You're finally meeting her parents.
Yes, which is why I rushed over. She's cooking her chicken.
[barf sound]
She's not making that--that tomahawk chicken again, is she?
Yes, she says her parents love it,
but I came over to get some of your Boss Sauce
to give it some encouragement.
That sauce is good, ain't it, Calvin?
That sauce'll raise her seasoning from the dead.
That's a slogan. We need to use that, baby.
Well, I feel like I don't really know anything about her parents.
Well...she's a daddy's girl, but she's close to both.
They're in town for an aviation convention.
Her dad is an executive for an airline.
Oh, really?
Well, I need to talk to him about my baggage fees.
Curtis... Uhm-mm.
Look, baby, he's an executive, that means he gets things done.
Well, listen, the next time they're in town,
tell them we would love to meet them.
We can all go out to dinner...together.
That'd be a great idea.
Only if you're paying for it.
You cannot invite--
You cannot invite the people
out to dinner and then ask them to pay for it! That's rude.
No, baby, I do it to you all the time.
I know you better have that wallet tonight.
Okay, I'll go find my wallet.
-Hey, Calvin--Calvin.. -[Calvin] Yeah?
So how much do they know about you?
Honestly, I have no idea.
Well, listen, don't offer them too much information...okay?
I mean, you don't wanna scare the people off.
Okay...just the same way...remember when Laura just
sprung the Tallahasse chicken on you?
It didn't go down so well, did it?
Same thing.
In fact...
use the whole bottle.
Just put the whole bottle on the chicken.
You're right. You got a bag?
One in the kitchen.
[Ella] Let me get my shoes!
[birds chirping]
[plane flying overhead]
[car alarm wailing] [horn honking]
[fireworks whistling, bursting]
[siren wailing]
-Hey. -Hey, baby.
How's everything looking?
[makes smooch sound] Everything's looking great.
Uhm, dinner is almost ready and...
my parents will be here any minute.
Uhm, oh...can you try this, please?
Uh, try what?
Sauce for my chicken, babe.
Uh-hmm...mmm...
[holding back gag] Oh...
-Is it good? -Oh, okay...Mm-hmm.
Ah...yeah, you created it.
-So, you like it? -Uhm, yeah, you created
-it...it's good. -Okay, good, you're so sweet.
-Uh, babe, I got a question. -What's that, babe? Shoot!
Uh, how much have you told your parents about me?
I told them everything they needed to know, Calvin.
That my fiancé is a super kind,
and sweet, intelligent, beautiful Black man.
-Aw, you think I'm beautiful? -So beautiful.
Listen, babe, you're gonna be fine.
They're gonna love you.
[door bell]
Uh-oh, I think that's them. How do I look?
Uhm, you look...amazing... like, so good.
What about me?
Oh, you look absolutely amazing.
[exhale]
-We got this. -We got this.
-All right. -Okay.
[clears throat] [exhales]
-Daddy. -Sweetheart.
-Mommy! -It is so good to see you.
-Love you. -Oh, love you.
Mom, Dad, this is Calvin.
Oh, it is a pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
So, you're the man who's stolen my daughter's heart.
Yes, sir, and she's stolen mine.
Well, uh, come in.
Yes. [exhales]
As long as you're stealing from each other,
I guess it's all right.
So, this is your place, Calvin.
Yes, ma'am, it's--it's all mine.
-It's beautiful. -Very nice.
What's that I'm smelling?
Yes, it does smell oddly familiar.
I made your favorite dish.
Oh...did you make the sauce, too, sweetheart?
Of course, Mom.
I can guarantee this'll be the best version of the dish.
I'm taking your word for it.
[nervous laughter]
Come on, Daddy, you got 10 more in you.
Come on...curl!
Curl!
Curl!!
Jazmine! What the hell?
-Too much? -Way too much.
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to encourage you.
-Thank you. -Let's go slow.
[soft whisper] Curl...
[louder stage whisper] Curl...
So you're whispering, and you think that's better?
Get outta here.
-Hey, Mom! -Hey, baby.
Ooh, hmm, what is going on here?
I love seeing my man get all strong and sexy--
all these muscles popping out everywhere.
You know how I do it, baby.
I just like to stay strong for my baby.
That's all it is.
No, really, why are you working out so hard?
-Huh, nothin', no reason. -No reason?
-Uh-hmm. -You've never moved my furniture
to work out, CJ. What's going on?
Nothing.
Jazzy, what's going on?
Oh, Daddy, please tell her.
Tell her before she force it out of me.
[drawn out] CJ?
Hmm?
What's goin' on?
You can't do too many more of these, and I'm not going away.
Uh...
I failed the physical aptitude test at work.
So, uh... I'm just tryin' to get in shape,
you know, I just, uh...
-I still got it. -Yeah.
I'm still good.
I just need to work a little harder, that's all.
You...you was working out with these?
I usually use these as my warm-up.
-Ah, low weights, huh? -Yeah.
You think you doin' something?
He's still goin'.
You ain't had these gloves on, that's what it is.
Oh, that's what helps?
-Yeah. -Oh.
Well, that makes it easier, Daddy.
Mmm, I didn't know that. I didn't know.
Okay, so even the fire chief has to pass the aptitude test?
No, see what-- what it is, is that...
I personally feel like if the guys--
all the firefighters--
-have to pass that test... -Yeah.
then I want to lead by example.
-That's good. -I need to pass that test too.
-Okay, okay. -Especially since I used to
take that test, you know, every year.
Wait, you're telling me
Uncle Curtis passed that test all them years?
Uncle Curtis was not trying to lead by example.
Once, he could pass the test.
And then he couldn't.
Now, neither can I.
Well, Dad, look, I hate to admit it, but you're getting older.
And that's okay.
That means your activity level's gonna slow down.
Look, middle-aged men go through this.
Don't feel ashamed, okay?
Ask your mom if I'm slowing down.
But please don't--
That is gross and disrespectful.
Why you lookin' like that, ew.
-We don't be playin'. -At all.
Okay, okay.
You know what I mean? You talkin' about slowin' down.
We ain't never slowed down.
[interposing voices]
Kill the visual, Jesus. Kill the visual.
Alright, okay.
Well, actually that was-- it's a practice test.
So I got three months before the actual official test.
So, you know,
I got time to get back in shape and just work harder.
No, wait a minute, maybe you should work smarter.
I think I have a better plan of action.
-What's that? -Oh, yes, this.
-Well, that's it right there. -Innit?
That's what you need, right there.
A rubber band?
What is he supposed to do with that?
I see nothing funny about this.
Yeah, neither do I. That thing ain't no joke.
Okay, let me see. Let me see if it works.
That is not how you do it.
Let me see if it'll hold up these pants.
Hey, you need to just try to use it like a slingshot.
It works.
Give me this.
You can laugh all you want, but if you just let me show you a
few exercises with this thing, you'll be able to improve your
flexibility, your strength, and you'll lose weight
all at the same time.
Dad, don't do it.
She's gonna your butt hard as steel.
-You sure are talkin' a lot. -Ain't he?!
Let's see you do it.
-All right, then. -Yeah.
-How do I do it? -I just need you to wrap
-it around your hands once-- -Like that?
And pull it to your side 20 times.
-Just pull it? -Yep, start though.
Pull it.
-I...I...I'm...I'm... -Let's go.
All the way out.
You know what, uhm...
I kinda strained myself with the dumbbells, so, uhm...
Imma, I do it later.
And, uh, the workout's for Dad anyway.
Trust me. I got you.
Babe, you look like those women on them fitness shows that be
like, uh, let me get this a slow and controlled movement.
You wanna get that slow and very controlled movement.
But all them women could
-probably pass this test. -Bow.
You still here?
[laughter]
And she felt so guilty about stealing a pack of gum that she
woke us up in the middle of the night with
a two-page confession letter.
-[laughter] -I did.
The things a six-year-old conscience will make you do.
Mm-hmm.
I must say, Laura, this is the best dish
-I have ever had from you. -Mm-hmm.
-You have to tell me your secret.
You know, I must say it... it was mighty delicious.
Did you enjoy it, babe?
Scrumptious, I ate every bite.
Hey.
So, have you two set a date yet?
I was telling your father
I think you should do a summer wedding, maybe outdoors.
And the catering-- there are so many details I feel like
-I'm missing out on. -Honey...honey!
I'm sorry, she gets so excited about formal events.
I'm sure you have it all worked out.
Mommy, as soon as we get everything ironed out,
I promise you, you will be the first to know.
Fantastic.
I'd also like to speak with your mother, Calvin,
so that we can coordinate.
Oh, absolutely. And next time you're in town,
they would love to meet you and take you out to dinner.
Oh, that sounds fun.
You know, Calvin, I was worried about you at first.
-You were? -Yes.
When Laura told us you guys got engaged
only after six months,
I assumed there would be some sediment of turbulence
in the relationship.
The...the...the what?
Uh...
Daddy likes to talk in...
aviation terminology.
It means there are warning signs of a bumpy road ahead.
That's what I just said.
Sure, dear.
Anyway, you seem all right.
I can't wait for you two to tie the knot.
Me too, Daddy.
I can't wait.
Oh, hey, don't mind me.
-Uh, excuse me. -What the hell?
Uh...
Yes?
Miranda, what are you doing here?
Listen, your son said he left his laptop here, and he has
a project that he has to do over the weekend!
I saw it in the back. It's on the dresser.
Okay, I'm just gonna get it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[nervous laughter] Uh...
-Where were we? -Where were we?
Oh, dinner with my parents.
-Yes. -Yeah.
-Dinner-- -Who is that?
[clears throat]
Oh, that's just Miranda.
Yeah.
And who is Miranda?
Well, uh...
It's a long story, but, uh...
I think I met her like, hmm...
Uh...
[nervous chuckle]
-Uh... -Uhm...Miranda...she is, uh...
She is Calvin's ex-wife.
[audible gasp]
[music]
So, you've been married before?
So you've been married and have kids?
Yes, he has, Daddy.
Why didn't you tell us?
Well, I just didn't think it was that big of a deal, Mom.
[excited laughter] Found it!
Bam!
And that's for you all's child?
Oh, no, no, this is for his child, Calvin Jr.
But, didn't you have children while you were married?
Uhm, yes, we did.
Uhm, my son is Christian, and he's younger.
I just happen to have both of the boys this weekend.
Right, my baby momma, Tracy--
-Oh! -Baby momma?!
Well...yes, the laptop is me and her son.
Is this Tracy gonna walk in here too?
[Together] Oh, no!
She's crazy.
Ah! So the baby momma crazy?
Ooooh, you don't even know!
Well, I'm being rude.
Uh...Miranda, these are Laura's parents.
Oh, hey, mom. Hey, dad.
Hi and bye.
Okay, I'm sorry for the intrusion.
I'm sure that this looks so crazy.
But, no, don't worry, we have it all figured out.
We work so well together-- one big happy family.
And Calvin is an amazing parent.
Yes, all right, bye, pleasure to meet you.
You left out a lot of details, young lady.
-Daddy-- -Why didn't you tell us?
I...
I wanted to.
Listen, it's, it's not like that.
I mean it is, but it isn't.
Uh, wait, wait, let me...
Look, I know that my past is a little spotty...
You can say that again, hmm.
But I'm not ashamed of it.
Nor am I ashamed of my kids.
And I can guarantee you that I will be an awesome husband
to your daughter.
That's nice and all, but the choices you have made
are going to impact my daughter's life immensely.
Exactly.
I assume you're going to want children, Laura.
How will my grandchildren fit into the mix?
Oh, in a large minivan. [forced laughter]
You know, extra stretch.
Doors go up.
It's just too unnecessarily complicated.
-[sigh] -Honey--
I don't think you should do this.
-What?! -Come on, Elaine.
Wow, crazy mommas.
It's a...it's a baby momma.
It's just...whatever.
Crazy mommas and ex-girlfriends and---
-Daddy-- -Well, they're both kinda crazy.
-It's too much. -I agree with you, honey.
We love each other.
[sigh]
And...
we...
are gonna make this work.
No matter what.
Calvin...
I'm sure you're a nice guy.
But it's gonna take more than
love to keep this marriage in the air.
Because when you descend back to reality,
it will ultimately end in a crash.
Let's go.
[heavy exhale]
Wow, he really takes his pilot stuff seriously.
[music]
You're really enjoying that, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Aunt Ella put her foot in there.
She ain't...she ain't send you a plate for me, huh?
Nah.
You don't need one, okay?
Now, listen, I know you eat healthy from time to time...
Time to time?!
What you talkin' about? I had a salad yesterday.
Yes, but you drowned all the vegetables in salad dressing.
Mm-hmm, may those tomatoes rest in peace.
Okay, listen, it doesn't matter. Moving forward, with your
change in diet and exercise, you'll be able to achieve your
goals in no time.
So, you're just going to eat all that by yourself, huh?
Yep.
Lisa's upstairs taking care of the baby.
This is my me time. [smacking]
Could you stop smacking?!
Besides, you don't need that. I have the answer right here...
meal prep, all right?
We'll do portion control.
And instead of eating all those big gigantic meals you eat
with the fire chiefs and the firefighters and all that stuff,
you can just have...these.
Uh, does this portion control
have any, uh, smothered potatoes?
No, but you have all you can eat celery.
You know...
the food that we eat...
is really not that bad.
Dad, please.
Y'all been eating pizza, spaghetti, burgers, barbeque--
-All of it covered in cheese. -Exactly.
Just, gravy drippin' off the plate.
Every day. Almost looks like my plate.
Stains...it's just not worth it.
Can't eat that every day.
Gonna make yourself sick, man.
[smacking]
Could you stop smacking!
Okay, listen, CJ...
we got those two babies upstairs, we got this smacker
right here, and then we got his sister, right?
All four of them popped out of this body.
You really think it came back together on its own?
It definitely came back.
-Take your time, now. -It came back together.
All--
you got a point.
Yeah, yeah...and as an extra added bonus...
all of this weight loss is going to improve your blood flow,
and you know what that means.
That's what--ooh, that's what I need.
That's what I need right there.
I gotta move out.
-I need some blood flow. -Yes.
Hey, hey...I thought you was grown, where you goin'?
[Malik] Nah.
[laughing]
He's mad.
CJ, we are getting older.
And, yes, we may look and feel good, but it's not
just about that, all right?
It's about being healthy, and being that for years to come.
Okay...
we can do that, I can do that. Just...
-I just have to commit to this. -Great.
But I'll do it with you.
Are we...we can't put no gravy on this celery?
-Just dip...dip it in the gravy? -No.
Just put this back.
-You know, I love you. -I love you too.
That's why you...you know how to pull my strings.
Like Bootsy Collins.
[music]
Well...that didn't go how I wanted it to.
-[sigh] -I can't believe your father
said that about my past.
Babe, he's just old school, you know?
Yeah, but I really wanted to get married with his blessing.
You know...we don't have to.
We can elope. [chuckles]
Really?
No, I'm kidding.
I gotta have the whole thing-- the wedding, the reception...
I need the whole nine.
What about your parents?
I mean...
they'll just have to deal with it.
They'll come around. They always do.
Look, why are you being so optimistic?
[clicks tongue]
Uh...
because I know things.
Oh, you, you...you noticed, huh?
Oh, yes, I noticed, Calvin.
Now, you knew exactly what my dish needed.
And if we can come together and make my chicken taste better...
imagine what other things we can make work.
That's all that matters.
-I love you. -I love you too.
[music]
[synthesized chords]
[crescendoing chord]
[music]