1 00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:02,302 [music] 2 00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:04,204 -[Ella] Hello. -Be careful, be careful. 3 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,406 Come on in, C.J., and watch your step. 4 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:09,476 Okay, I don't want you damaging nothing, you heard? 5 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,878 I got some change in my pocket 6 00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:13,680 just in case I break anything. 7 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:16,216 You know what? I'm gonna let that slide. 8 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,952 Because me and Aunt Ella, we about to level up, 9 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,120 you heard me? 10 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,855 [Ella] Okay. 11 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,558 What in the world? What do-what do y'all have there? 12 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:28,795 Baby, this is our future. 13 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,330 Okay. 14 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:31,631 You future's in the box? 15 00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,800 So I'm guessing you homeless in the future. 16 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,271 Curtis, what is it? What is it? 17 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,173 What in the devil is it? 18 00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:41,608 You remember my Uncle Raymond? 19 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,544 Yes, I know your Uncle Raymond, your daddy's brother. 20 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,112 -Yes. -The one that just passed. 21 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:47,614 Rest, rest... 22 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,250 You skipped the funeral and only went to the repast. 23 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:53,520 Only good thing about a funeral is the food afterwards. 24 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,655 So I just skipped to the good part. 25 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,359 Anyway, Uncle Ray left me this in his will. 26 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:01,227 Why? Was he mad at you? 27 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,830 Shows how much you know! 28 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,666 These things are worth a fortune. 29 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,168 You heard me? 30 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,403 They are worth a fortune 31 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,472 And I just got a appraiser to come 32 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,073 and going to put a price on it. 33 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,676 And then he gonna help me with a buyer. 34 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,548 What are they? 35 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,884 Baby, they're African Cowrie fertility idols. 36 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,754 -Fertility idols. -I feel it, I feel them. 37 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,222 I'm feeling. 38 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,424 Who would wanna have sex after looking at those things? 39 00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:36,029 You know what? You just keep the jokes just keep coming. 40 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:37,730 But they're not funny. 41 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,899 These things work. 42 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,937 Legend has it, if you stand anywhere near them, 43 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,171 it makes a man more potent. 44 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,140 Well, stand back. 45 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,977 People believe anything. 46 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,111 You gonna be ready for me? 47 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,882 People don't believe in things unless they work, C.J. 48 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,751 Okay, my Uncle Ray had 16 kids 49 00:01:58,751 --> 00:01:59,953 before he passed. 50 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,221 Sixteen? 51 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,489 I'm out of here. 52 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,357 The kids are already whooping my behind. 53 00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:05,992 I'm not taking any chances. 54 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,427 Get on somewhere. 55 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,162 And you ain't getting no money neither. 56 00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,697 -Yeah, okay. -Don't ask about nothin'! 57 00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,198 Neither are you. 58 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,667 Did he just curse me? 59 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,035 Put those up. 60 00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:18,771 We don't need fertility nothing. 61 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,708 Speak for yourself. 62 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:47,233 Man, my mind keeps telling me I'm in my prime. 63 00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:51,504 But my knees are telling my mind to shut the hell up. 64 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,374 I don't see how something that could be so fun 65 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:55,608 when we was young 66 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,177 be so painful when we get old. 67 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,413 Listen, that's 'cause you getting old, bruh. 68 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,750 Me? You was the one taking breaks. 69 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,952 I was just loosening up. 70 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,621 You--you see me taking 'em to... 71 00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:11,424 You--I was doing my thing, taking them to the rack, man! 72 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,927 Oh, man. 73 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,429 I guess we both getting old. 74 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,565 Oh, man. 75 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,033 What the... 76 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,235 I keep telling the twins to stop 77 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,504 leaving all of this stuff laying around. 78 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,507 Hey, is this one of those Leslie Lighting action figures? 79 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,409 Listen, that thing is so expensive, man. 80 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,544 I told Hayden, she was begging for it and begging, 81 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,847 I said you gonna have to wait for Christmas. 82 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,583 And where did Jayden get 83 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,752 all these Black Panther comic books from? 84 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,021 He got all kinds of stuff in here. 85 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,991 All kinds of fun things, yo-yos 86 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,660 and Game Boy cartridges. 87 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,964 When did you start giving Hayden and Jayden gourmet meals? 88 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,198 This is lobster pasta. 89 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,566 What? 90 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,803 Hey. Hey, Calvin. Hey, baby. 91 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:57,937 -Hey. -Hey. 92 00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,172 -Uh, babe. -Yeah. 93 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,907 You know anything about the twins 94 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:05,245 having all of this expensive stuff 95 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,713 in their backpack? 96 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,348 Oh, yeah, all that junk 97 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,716 is from their little buddies at school. 98 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,985 Oh, wait, wait, wait, their buddies give them 99 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:15,088 a baseball signed by the Atlanta Braves? 100 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,389 -Is that real? -Yeah. 101 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,724 Jayden says, if he sees something he likes, 102 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,826 his friend just gives it to him, same with Hayden. 103 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:22,328 She forgot her lunch one day and one boy just gave her his. 104 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,831 Can't believe my kids are so popular. 105 00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,934 I wish I was that popular when I was young. 106 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,370 Only thing that you gave me 107 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,172 was a atomic wedgie. 108 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,641 I didn't wear underwear all third grade. 109 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,510 Sorry about that, man. 110 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,946 I ain't know your drawers were so high-quality, man. 111 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,016 I thought they would rip by the time I lifted you up. 112 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:45,985 Hey, Pop. 113 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,823 Okay. Yeah, well, I'll have her meet me there. 114 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,524 I'm on my way. 115 00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:53,693 That was my pops. 116 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,995 He wants me and Laura to meet some new members of the family. 117 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,564 That's weird. 118 00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:00,300 You and Laura better start sleeping in separate bedrooms 119 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,701 'cause if it's what I think it is, 120 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,803 y'all gonna have a rack of kids. 121 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,842 -Mom, Dad. -Hey, everybody. 122 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,376 -Everything okay? -Just in time. 123 00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:11,845 You just in time. 124 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,013 I called you over here so you can witness history. 125 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,051 VoilĂ ! 126 00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,187 Okay. Me and your mom about to be 127 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,189 the richest Paynes in the family. 128 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,624 -You heard me? -[Ella] Mm-hm-hmm. 129 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,161 Okay, what are those statues? 130 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:32,098 These are African Cowrie fertility idols. 131 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,002 And they worth a lot of money! 132 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,772 Are you sure, Mr. Payne, 'cause they just look like... 133 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,674 Don't you put your hands on it! 134 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,978 Yes, I'm sure. 135 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,080 My Uncle Raymond said so. 136 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:50,116 Well, they definitely look unique. 137 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,385 Maybe they are worth something. 138 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,887 Definitely, I have a professional 139 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,488 who knows all about these kind of things. 140 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,023 He should be here in a minute. 141 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,858 [doorbell ringing] 142 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,026 Oh! 143 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,327 There he is. 144 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:03,162 Everybody play it cool. 145 00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:04,831 Calvin, get... 146 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,667 That's your husband. 147 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,940 -Greetings, all. -Okay. 148 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:17,677 Elvin Alvin, art appraiser extraordinaire at your service. 149 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:19,245 -Hello. -[Curtis] Ha ha! 150 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:20,780 It's good to meet you, Elvin. 151 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,315 Elvin Alvin. 152 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,250 And when Elvin Alvin hears 153 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,352 someone has African Cowrie idols, 154 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:28,021 he cannot resist! [laughs] 155 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,057 Why does he talk like that? 156 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,826 Babe, I only been in your family for a short amount of time, 157 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,962 but if your dad brought him around, 158 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,563 this all makes sense. 159 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:42,101 Okay, Mr. Elvin Allan, 160 00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:44,437 are these worth anything? 161 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:47,807 [negatively] Mm-mm. 162 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,350 Okay, breathe, breathe. 163 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,686 Just go in through your nose 164 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,021 and out through your mouth. 165 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:05,091 In through your nose, out through your mouth. 166 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,627 Hey, what the hell? Is this a Lamaze class? 167 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,797 Pearls before swine. 168 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,934 This ingrate asks why I swoon 169 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,838 before a rare piece of art worth six figures. 170 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,540 Six figures? 171 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:24,610 You can sprinkle all you want to, big guy. 172 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,814 You really think it's worth that much? 173 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,083 Without question! 174 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,685 I told you! 175 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,787 I told you! 176 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,957 I told you! And I told you! 177 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,828 I never doubted you, Mr. Payne. 178 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:43,963 You were thinking it. 179 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:47,467 What you have is an ebony carving 180 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,903 covered in Cowrie shells, which symbolizes womanhood 181 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:54,107 and wealth in many African cultures. 182 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,141 Yes. 183 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,543 This magnificent work of art 184 00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:00,580 is obviously from the late Nigerian artist 185 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,749 Olayanju Babatunday. 186 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,485 That's what I was thinking. Obviously. 187 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:09,088 It's only one of three in the world. 188 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,823 What? It's one of three. 189 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,126 With your permission, ooh, 190 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,762 allow me to make some calls on your behalf. 191 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,197 You gonna be a very wealthy man. 192 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,937 There you go! Did you hear that? 193 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:27,340 -Did you hear that? Huh? -[Laura] What?! 194 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,608 -Curtis... -I'm rich! 195 00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:34,847 -Babe. -Hm? 196 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,649 You ain't gonna believe this. 197 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:39,552 I just got off the phone with the kids' school. 198 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,856 All of them toys we found in their backpacks 199 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,492 other kids didn't give to them. 200 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:47,693 They took it. 201 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:50,263 They're bullying kids at school! 202 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,098 I do not believe you. 203 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,000 That's-that's crazy. That's nonsense. 204 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,501 No. Believe it. I'm telling you. 205 00:08:55,902 --> 00:09:00,006 Three parents were complaining about it already! 206 00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,041 I'm going to get my belt. 207 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,876 -Hayden! Jayden! -Wait. Wait, babe. 208 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,379 So you're gonna whoop them, right? 209 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,281 I ain't getting it to hold my pants up. 210 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,716 Okay, I'm all about the discipline and stuff too, 211 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,318 but can we just try a different approach. 212 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,653 Let's just try talking to them. 213 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:17,857 Baby, I know how to discipline my kids. 214 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,194 Your kids? 215 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:23,796 Your kids? 216 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:25,898 Yours? [C.J. Stammering] 217 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:28,734 Solely yours? I ain't got nothing to do with it? 218 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:29,869 No, I'm just... You know what I... 219 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,104 I'm gonna try to figure this out. 220 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,705 -You know what I'm saying. -I don't, though. 221 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:36,209 No, no, no, what I'm saying is you soft on them babies. 222 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,343 I'm soft? 223 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,345 Hey, you soft on the babies. 224 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,518 I'm gonna leave before I saying something we both regret. 225 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,321 -No, wait. Babe... -It's okay. "Babe." 226 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,123 Come on, don't be like that. 227 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,725 You ain't gonna finish cooking? 228 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,994 Ask me to cook anything right now. 229 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,363 Okay. All right. 230 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,934 [Janine] "My kids"? Anything but "my kids". 231 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,270 Damn. 232 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:10,243 Hey, Ella. Baby, where do you think we should move to? 233 00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,214 I'm thinking a beach house 234 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,383 on a beach in Miami. 235 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,151 Don't start this. 236 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,920 Why can't we just stay right here 237 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,488 and fix this house up? 238 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:22,823 You thinking too small, Ella. 239 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,358 We got beach money now. Okay? 240 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:29,129 Thanks to our friends from Mother Africa. 241 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,431 [mocking chuckle] 242 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,767 I only like the shells. 243 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,043 Who the hell chipped my sculpture? 244 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,479 Pop, nobody went near those things. 245 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,348 Yeah, we've been sitting right here. 246 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,653 Boy, don't nobody want me happy around here. 247 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,323 I just can't be happy, you bunch of haters. 248 00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,560 Curtis, you were gonna be my sugar daddy 249 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,762 and why would I hate on that? 250 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,599 I ain't talking about you, baby, not you. 251 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,133 Yeah, I could tell you were happy 252 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,402 and looking forward to being a trophy wife. 253 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,473 But the rest of you haters... 254 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,776 Pop, what do you think we did? We been sitting right here. 255 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,680 I'll tell you exactly what you did. 256 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,718 [Ella] "Oh, Isaiah, I love you." 257 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,819 Babe. 258 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,053 -Yes? -Yes? 259 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,023 I was talking to my new babe. 260 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,392 Would you like a soda? 261 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,661 Oh, darling! 262 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,563 You're such a gentleman. 263 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,832 You must get it from your father. 264 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,935 And his good looks. 265 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,572 I would love a soda, baby. 266 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,307 -Thank you. -Catch. 267 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:52,145 No, no, no, no. Get that out of my house! 268 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,483 But the sculptures. 269 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,919 One's damaged! 270 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,422 Who cares? 271 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,324 We're haters. 272 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,693 [Calvin, Laura, and Miranda laughing loudly] 273 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:11,598 No! Now I'll never be a woman of leisure. 274 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,733 Oh, no, no, no! 275 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,703 [Ella] Curtis. 276 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,307 Please tell me that you were not back there, drinking, 277 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,375 'cause you came out here, sounding crazy. 278 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,378 No, I'll tell you what's crazy. 279 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,081 What's crazy is that nobody here is man enough 280 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,016 or woman enough 281 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,453 to own up to damaging my sculpture! 282 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,191 Wait a minute. 283 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,294 -Where'd this come from? -What is it? 284 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,629 It's a zipper. 285 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,231 Don't nobody care about no damn zipper. 286 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,436 Hold up. 287 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,005 I'm rich! 288 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,076 [Ella] Curtis. 289 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:01,948 Ha! So you damaged 290 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,185 your own precious sculptures. 291 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,156 Ella, this is not a time to play the blame game. 292 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,458 Okay, no... 293 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,361 Y'all just need to come on help me put these things together 294 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:18,298 before Elvin Alvin Eh... whatever his name, gets here. 295 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,240 -Mm. -Oh, boy, that smells good. 296 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,842 You can smell that all the way upstairs. 297 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,310 Yeah, I did that. 298 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,514 You should try this. This is so good. 299 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,183 -I should try it? -Yeah. 300 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,387 What's that you got there? You got some chicken? 301 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,621 Mm-hmm, free range. 302 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,491 Yeah, all that flavor. You can taste the humanity. 303 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,095 That's, uh... 304 00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,097 Free range, huh? 305 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,699 What, you season it with... 306 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,234 What you got, some paprika on there? 307 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,305 Why you rolling your eyes at me? 308 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,643 Okay, I see what it is. All right. 309 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:08,915 Okay, so, uh, you wanna talk about it 310 00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:12,385 or are we just gonna tap dance around the issue? 311 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,855 Never been much of a dancer, so, I guess, talking it is. 312 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,625 Who never been much of a dancer? Me? 313 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:19,726 You. 314 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,161 Jan, you must be playing. 315 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,696 You know I got the meanest two-step. 316 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,132 My two-step is on point! 317 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,436 And you know, all you need at my age 318 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,037 is a solid two-step. 319 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,839 That'd get me through weddings, 320 00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,908 get me through birthdays. 321 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,976 -Divorces. -[C.J.] What? 322 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,446 I know you ain't just say the D word. 323 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,817 Okay, all right, let's be serious. 324 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,586 I'm sorry about what I said earlier. 325 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,958 I may have overreacted, but you triggered me. Okay? 326 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,761 Until you pop four individuals out of your body, 327 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,996 you can't say "my" about anything. 328 00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,032 You just said the D word. 329 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,633 I, I was playing. 330 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,371 Okay, I just want what's best for the kids. 331 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:06,406 So do I. 332 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,974 But study after study that I've read 333 00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,477 that kids who are disciplined by spanking 334 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,011 tend to be more violent. 335 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,148 Spankings don't have to be violent. 336 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,517 Yeah, we know that, but does the kid know? 337 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,352 All they know is that the person they love 338 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,954 is inflicting harm on them. 339 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,558 If we don't spank them what we gonna do? 340 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,659 I have no idea. 341 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:30,130 -'Cause they wild. -I... Sometimes. 342 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,433 I mean, we'll figure it out, but I do know one thing. 343 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,369 Your two-step is untouchable. 344 00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,439 And your dinner's in the microwave. 345 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,607 That's my girl. 346 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,208 You know what I mean? Talking about divorce. 347 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,710 You better stop playing You ain't going nowhere. 348 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,145 I wasn't going nowhere. 349 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,847 -Give me some. -It's still too soon, though. 350 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,683 All right, all right. I see what you doing. 351 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:51,784 Mm-hmm. 352 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,987 Okay, I'm gonna let you have that. 353 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,355 Go get your plate. 354 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,730 Okay. Huh? 355 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,667 Huh? Is it just me or can you barely tell the difference? 356 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,271 It's just you. 357 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,308 You know, the damage isn't that bad. 358 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,544 You might not be able to tell the difference. 359 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,080 And if it was, how much value could it lose? 360 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,515 Yeah, you probably right. 361 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:26,186 Then maybe I can't get a house on the beach in Miami, 362 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,988 but they got beaches in Mexico. 363 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,827 Mexico? Curtis, I don't wanna move out of the country. 364 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,396 What the hell, Ella? 365 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,332 Look, I'm gonna have some beachfront property 366 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,235 if I gotta flood the front yard, you heard me? 367 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,304 [doorbell ringing] 368 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,705 He's here! 369 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,273 Come on, y'all, get up. What y'all doing? 370 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,741 Everybody calm, he here. 371 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,777 Okay, okay, okay. Act cool. 372 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,412 -Yes. -Oh, got you. 373 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,282 Oh, God, not this doggone cool. 374 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,884 Y'all need to stop, okay? 375 00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,752 Just-just-just sit your ass down. 376 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,688 Sit down, be quiet. 377 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,425 -[Ella] I'm still cool. -[Miranda] You cool. 378 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,327 [Ella] Can't get any cooler. 379 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:11,864 Greetings, all. 380 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:12,899 -Hello again. -Hi. 381 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:13,967 Hello, Elvin Alvin. 382 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,401 Mr. Payne. 383 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,003 You wouldn't believe the bidding war 384 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,471 Elvin Alvin had going on. 385 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,706 -Shut your face. -On your behalf. 386 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,641 -You hear that, Pop? -Yeah. 387 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,509 They were fighting over your sculptures. 388 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,612 Oh! It wasn't much of a fight. 389 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:29,549 One buyer dropped the bomb on all the rest. 390 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,284 Kaboom! 391 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,793 -[Curtis] Do you see? -Let me see. 392 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,631 Curtis. 393 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,800 -Curtis. -The horror. 394 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,305 Elvin Alvin screams now. 395 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,611 That's a good scream, right? 396 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:04,284 You cannot damage a masterpiece. 397 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,488 It's utterly ruined. 398 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,128 It's gotta be worth something! 399 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,498 With two others just like it in pristine condition 400 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,234 housed in National Nigerian Museum, 401 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:24,871 yours is worth nothing. 402 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:29,375 You waste Elvin Alvin's time. 403 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:35,181 -There he go with that fiffy. -I don't like that fiffy. 404 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,716 So no money? 405 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,218 None. 406 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:45,558 Well, that means I get to whoop your funny-dressing ass. 407 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,826 [Ella] Curtis! 408 00:18:49,204 --> 00:18:51,072 The one thing we are not gonna do in this house, 409 00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:55,443 ever again, is we are not gonna tolerate any bullying. 410 00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:58,480 Yeah, and why would you wanna take things from other people? 411 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,815 Hm? You wouldn't want anyone to do that to you. 412 00:19:00,815 --> 00:19:02,384 But we wanted it. 413 00:19:02,384 --> 00:19:05,153 That's no excuse, okay? 414 00:19:05,153 --> 00:19:07,389 Now, if you want something, 415 00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:09,057 you ask us. 416 00:19:09,057 --> 00:19:11,760 If we say no, you go get a work permit 417 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,194 and you get a job. 418 00:19:13,895 --> 00:19:17,465 All right? You get a job, save up your money, 419 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,768 and if you got enough... 420 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,638 Okay, that might be too much. 421 00:19:24,072 --> 00:19:25,540 You understand what we saying? 422 00:19:26,341 --> 00:19:30,178 Hm? If you want something, you earn it. All right? 423 00:19:30,178 --> 00:19:31,713 We're not going to tolerate that. 424 00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:32,914 Do you hear me? 425 00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:36,284 "Us." [nervous laughing] Do you hear us? 426 00:19:36,284 --> 00:19:37,552 I got you. 427 00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:39,387 Yes? 428 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:40,455 -Yes. -Yes. 429 00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:43,258 Thank you. Thank you. 430 00:19:44,326 --> 00:19:47,462 Okay. Good. Glad we have an understanding. 431 00:19:47,996 --> 00:19:51,766 So there are gonna be some real changes around here. 432 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,702 Okay? 433 00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:57,372 First thing is your mom and I 434 00:19:57,772 --> 00:19:59,774 are gonna spend less time at work 435 00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:02,577 and more time at school, 436 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,946 finding out what's going on with you two. 437 00:20:06,014 --> 00:20:07,248 Second thing, 438 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,050 you guys are gonna go back to school 439 00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,885 and you gonna apologize 440 00:20:10,885 --> 00:20:13,021 to all of the kids that you've been bullying. 441 00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:14,255 And, thirdly, you are going to 442 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,091 give them all of their stuff back. 443 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,959 All right, and your punishment, 444 00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:21,162 you are going to hand-copy pages of the dictionary. 445 00:20:21,162 --> 00:20:23,598 And we're gonna start with the letter B for bullying. 446 00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:25,333 Copy the dictionary? 447 00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:26,901 Can't you just spank us? 448 00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:31,172 Oh, no, we way, way past that. All right? 449 00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:34,909 So what I want you to do is I want you to get a pen 450 00:20:35,176 --> 00:20:36,745 and some paper, 451 00:20:37,912 --> 00:20:41,916 and start writing down what your mom just explained. 452 00:20:41,916 --> 00:20:43,018 Let's go. [Hayden moaning] 453 00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:44,619 [Janine immitating Hayden's moan] Get up. 454 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:47,355 We so far past spanking 455 00:20:47,355 --> 00:20:49,224 we taking this thing to a whole nother level. 456 00:20:49,224 --> 00:20:50,759 Stomp up those stairs if you want to. 457 00:20:50,759 --> 00:20:53,762 I can get some geography stuff going for you little young ones. 458 00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:58,809 [music] 459 00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:26,570 [music] 460 00:21:27,104 --> 00:21:28,973 [music]