1
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,804
All right, Uncle Curtis,
we're here.
2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,806
What's the big emergency?
3
00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:08,608
Well, it's about doggone time.
4
00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:11,578
I could've been dead
by the time y'all got here.
5
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:12,712
What's going on?
6
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,547
Jazmine and I
were on the way to the store
7
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:16,182
when we got a call saying,
"Come straight here.
8
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,317
There's an emergency."
9
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:19,319
And the emergency is
10
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,287
the front door
is not gonna paint itself.
11
00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:25,759
I'm failing to see
the emergency in that.
12
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,929
Yeah, you know, emergencies
typically involve
13
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:31,898
life or death situations.
14
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,533
Indeed it do, Malik.
15
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,136
And it will be
your life or death
16
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:39,205
if you two don't get
my doggone door painted.
17
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,742
Curtis.
18
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:46,012
What, baby? They getting
compensated for the time.
19
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,581
I'm not that inconsiderate.
20
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,785
All right, deal,
why didn't you say so?
21
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,921
These nails are in
some serious need of some TLC.
22
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:58,792
And baby needs some new shoes,
so where's the equipment at?
23
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,561
Yeah, baby, do you have
the paint color already?
24
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,697
Baby, now, who do you
think I am, woman?
25
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,100
You know I got this.
26
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,203
All right, get...
You two, aha, aha, aha.
27
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:11,538
-That's for us?
-Aha, aha, aha.
28
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,039
-[Malik] Thank you.
-That's like [indistinct].
29
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,174
[Ella] While you wait.
30
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,442
This is why
you're my favorite aunty.
31
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:18,011
-Is that right? Is that right?
-Thank you.
32
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:19,679
[Ella chuckling]
33
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:20,814
I know I am.
34
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:21,848
You got some syrup, Aunty?
35
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,551
Well, yeah.
36
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,052
I know you got
some syrup for me.
37
00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:27,253
Wait a minute, Jazmine.
38
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,155
Now you just asking
for too much.
39
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,591
[indistinct] eating today.
40
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,093
I'm good with this, baby.
41
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,169
It's called '57 Chevy.
42
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,939
Ooh, baby, now that
is a very nice color.
43
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,373
Is it nice, baby?
44
00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:49,642
Oh, you... A matter of fact,
this reminds me of...
45
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:52,111
Yeah, the color that was on
that home improvement show
46
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,614
that you made me watch
that you love so much.
47
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,483
-[Ella] Right.
-Are we paying attention?
48
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,853
Well, baby, have you
paid attention
49
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,654
to the HOA by-laws?
50
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:05,191
I don't know if this is allowed.
51
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,161
[croaking]
52
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:10,830
Excuse me? Allowed?
53
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,031
Yes, baby, I don't know.
54
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,434
Yeah, them HOAs ain't no joke.
55
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,169
I tell you what.
There ain't nothing wrong
56
00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,771
with a little, a little
manual labor.
57
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,241
Okay. Speaking of which,
58
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,643
you two need to get up.
59
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,078
Go out there.
60
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,013
There's a canvas
next to the door.
61
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,681
-Go put your hands on it.
-Curtis.
62
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:29,516
-Okay.
-Curtis!
63
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,017
Boy, you getting heavy.
64
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:32,886
And y'all need to get to work.
65
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,354
No, don't manhandle me
like that, Uncle Curtis.
66
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,756
-Get to work, get to work.
-[Ella] Curtis!
67
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:37,557
Let me eat! Let me eat!
68
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,527
-Oh, my God [indistinct]
-Curtis, let them eat!
69
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,295
Look at her, she gonna
take her food with her.
70
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,596
She always was the smart one.
71
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,131
-[Ella] Curtis.
-Huh?
72
00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:46,533
They haven't even eaten.
73
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:51,804
Uh, no, what they doing now
is called an unauthorized break.
74
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,040
And I'm taking it out
of their pay.
75
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,475
Get to work.
76
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,545
Curtis, I'm serious
about the by-laws, baby.
77
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,380
The last thing you want
78
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,182
is Gloria
breathing down your neck, right?
79
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,184
Ain't nobody scared
of that jackal
80
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:06,619
or her bad breath.
81
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,690
Remember I warned you.
I'm going to Calvin's.
82
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:11,858
For what?
83
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:16,396
Curtis, I found the heirloom
in the attic,
84
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:17,697
and I'm going to take it
over there
85
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,265
and loan it to them
for their wedding.
86
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,333
Heirloom, what?
87
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,669
[Ella] The broom heirloom!
88
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,537
You found that?
89
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:31,412
[theme music]
90
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,646
[fire hydrant spraying]
91
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,281
[birds chirping]
92
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,283
[airplane flying]
93
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,318
[car alarm blaring]
[horn honking]
94
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,254
[fireworks whistling,
bursting]
95
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,894
[siren wailing]
96
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,397
Okay, so, babe, I was thinking
97
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,867
that we have a table
for my immediate family...
98
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:54,902
[Laura] Yes.
99
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,038
To sit together,
and then we have a table
100
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,574
for your immediate family
to sit together.
101
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,810
Uh. Uh, baby,
102
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,647
My aunt, Dortha Jean,
and Uncle Joe at the same table?
103
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,182
Um, yeah.
104
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:10,117
My aunt and uncle
who are divorced.
105
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,920
They can't have a meal together?
106
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,154
[chuckling sarcastically]
107
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,824
Baby, they cannot
have a meal together,
108
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:19,393
not unless you want
World War III to break out
109
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,261
between the soup and salad.
110
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,131
Well, I thought they were close.
111
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,332
-Yeah.
-But, damn,
112
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,867
-I didn't no it was like that.
-Nah.
113
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,570
They haven't been close since
as long as I can remember.
114
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,439
You know what? Look,
115
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,374
let's just take a break, okay?
116
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,009
-Yes.
-[Calvin] Yeah.
117
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:38,712
That's a good idea.
118
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,416
Baby, is there something wrong?
119
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:44,685
You know, I just...
120
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,787
Thinking about them
in the same room together
121
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,856
just makes me wanna cancel
the whole reception.
122
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,526
Well, if it's between
losing our deposit,
123
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,361
and not inviting
your aunt and uncle,
124
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,497
I'd take not inviting
your aunt and uncle.
125
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,500
But you know what,
you know what?
126
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,601
I'm fair, I'm fair.
127
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,102
How about
we just invite one of them?
128
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,670
Which one are you closer to?
129
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,773
You are so silly.
130
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,443
No, it's just, I don't know.
131
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,145
Just thinking
about all these things
132
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,214
and marriage as a whole,
133
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,584
a lot of people just follow
these old-fashioned notions.
134
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:20,587
And they stay together
no matter what
135
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:24,157
and it's like, I don't know,
it's crazy.
136
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,393
Your parents seem like
they're happy.
137
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,263
Yeah, but they've had their
fair share of rough patches too.
138
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,964
[knocking on door]
139
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,432
[Ella] Hoody-hoo.
140
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,668
Come in.
141
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,770
-[Laura] Hey, Mrs. Payne.
-[Calvin] Hey.
142
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,473
-Hi! Hi!
-[Laura] How are you?
143
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,608
I come bearing gifts.
144
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:45,479
Wow, this is so beautiful,
Mrs. Payne.
145
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,482
-Thank you.
-Ooh, it's, uh, it's something.
146
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:52,686
Baby, this is what
is used in weddings
147
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,421
to jump over the broom.
148
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,356
-[Ella] Yes.
-Oh, like in Roots.
149
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,058
Exactly.
150
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,862
-Wow.
-Well, thank you.
151
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:02,930
You're welcome.
152
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,165
It didn't start
with me and your father.
153
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,701
My grandmother made this
154
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,304
when she was marrying
your great-grandfather Calvin,
155
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,205
your namesake.
156
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:17,644
I cannot wait
to see you two jump over it.
157
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,347
Well, thank you, Mom.
158
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,517
Thanks.
159
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,291
All right, so we did a good job?
160
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,961
We worked hard. It took all day.
161
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,330
Two full coats.
162
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,065
-Yeah.
-Two full coats.
163
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,600
Mm-hmm.
164
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,103
Looks all right. Okay, bye.
165
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,807
Um, excuse me?
166
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,575
Back, devil!
167
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,011
Oh, it's just one
of his minions.
168
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,614
What the hell do you want,
Glo?
169
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,316
I want to know why you have
changed your door
170
00:06:56,316 --> 00:07:00,187
to a color that is not a part
of the neighborhood aesthetic.
171
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,089
Uh, you seem to be
getting a little busy,
172
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,757
so if you could just pay me
and my coworker,
173
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,158
we'll just get on our way.
174
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:10,631
If you're referring
to that boring beige,
175
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,165
I never agreed to that, Glo.
176
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,469
By continuing to live
in this neighborhood,
177
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,504
yes, you have agreed to that.
178
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,973
So fines will be enforced
179
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,442
if you do not comply
to the by-laws.
180
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:26,380
And hooker red
is not a part of them....
181
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,715
Then why are you
still standing here?
182
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,484
-Hooker.
-[Gloria] Oh,, see!
183
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:31,852
I knew you are so disrespectful.
184
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,620
Yeah, whatever.
You walked up on my...
185
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,355
And you went across my grass.
186
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,757
Whatever, you didn't even
water it anyway.
187
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,258
Yeah, don't worry about....
188
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,127
What is going on?
Hello, you two!
189
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,095
What is going on out here?
190
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,497
This one is disrespectful.
191
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,032
Yeah, right, it's always
my fault.
192
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,833
Uh, Aunty Ella,
Uncle Curtis sent us in here,
193
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,269
said that you was gonna pay us,
then we can be on our way.
194
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,537
No, I didn't.
195
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,807
Curtis, really, out here...
196
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,711
It's okay. We're okay.
197
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,846
Go on back in the house.
198
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,983
HOA business.
199
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:11,658
Uh, excuse you?
200
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,261
I though you was doing
the dishes
201
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,529
and I was doing the sweeping.
202
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,064
Ha-ha.
203
00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,767
Just, I just don't know
about this.
204
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:22,869
Oh, boo, it's cool.
205
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,738
She said we can swap out
the ribbons and the flowers.
206
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,474
-We good.
-No, not that, Calvin.
207
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,309
I mean the whole idea around it.
208
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,511
Well, what exactly is that?
209
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,213
Well, I don't know, varies.
210
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:36,550
Basically, it's
for good luck in your marriage.
211
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,952
Oh, luck. Ew.
212
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,554
We don't need that.
213
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,959
No, but it's also
a commitment from the wife
214
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,000
to adhere to certain
"old-school,"
215
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:48,762
to adhere to certain
"old-school,"
216
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,498
old-fashioned notions, Calvin.
217
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:55,068
Oh, like obeying me.
218
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,871
I could definitely
get into that.
219
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,539
[Laura]
[sarcastic laugh] Of course.
220
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,008
But, no, baby,
those are real expectations
221
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,411
that they had
for women back in the day.
222
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,246
You had to pop out kids,
223
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,848
have dinner on the table
by 6:00,
224
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,717
and you would get a new
washing machine for Christmas.
225
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,053
Mm, expectations,
226
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,389
well, husbands have
expectations too, you know.
227
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,659
Work till you die, get the home
with the picket fence,
228
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,561
go check
on the noise downstairs,
229
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,996
the one that went
bump in the night, yeah.
230
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,565
Uh, I still expect all of that.
231
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,769
But, seriously, babe.
232
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:32,639
Honestly, parts of me do want
you to be home with the kids
233
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,608
while I provide,
but I know that's...
234
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,844
Impractical, archaic, sexist.
235
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:41,014
Baby, everything old fashioned
is not bad.
236
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,383
My parents are old school
and they're still happy.
237
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,853
Baby, I love your parents.
238
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,123
I respect your parents.
239
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,926
But I do not wanna be
Curtis and Ella Payne.
240
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,399
I say out with the old
and in with the new, baby.
241
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,767
Oh!
242
00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:09,735
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
243
00:10:10,236 --> 00:10:12,171
Well, that ain't my broom.
244
00:10:12,171 --> 00:10:15,608
But wait a minute,
let's back up a little bit.
245
00:10:15,608 --> 00:10:17,510
What's wrong with being
Curtis and Ella Payne?
246
00:10:17,977 --> 00:10:20,413
Calvin, let's focus on
one thing at a time, please.
247
00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:22,181
-We gotta put this back.
-Okay.
248
00:10:22,949 --> 00:10:24,517
Boom. Done.
249
00:10:24,817 --> 00:10:26,852
Now, you were saying?
250
00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:29,288
Okay, I was saying
251
00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:32,959
your mom was a homemaker, right?
252
00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:35,928
It worked for her,
but I'm made differently, baby.
253
00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:38,464
I still have things
that I wanna do in my career.
254
00:10:38,464 --> 00:10:40,066
Yeah, but what about
if we have kids?
255
00:10:40,066 --> 00:10:42,635
I don't even know if I
want kids at this point.
256
00:10:42,635 --> 00:10:45,304
Woah, woah, wait a minute.
That's news to me.
257
00:10:45,304 --> 00:10:48,574
Baby, I just don't know
if I'm meant to have babies
258
00:10:48,574 --> 00:10:50,543
and have a career.
259
00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:52,311
Like, what's the saying?
How does it go?
260
00:10:52,311 --> 00:10:55,014
You're expected to work
like you're not a parent
261
00:10:55,014 --> 00:10:56,449
and parent like you don't work.
262
00:10:56,449 --> 00:10:59,385
Yeah, but I... Wait a minute.
That's kind of deep.
263
00:10:59,385 --> 00:11:02,555
Yeah, it is and it's true, babe.
264
00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:05,658
Like, I know this
isn't the conversation
265
00:11:05,658 --> 00:11:07,493
you expected us to have
right now,
266
00:11:07,493 --> 00:11:10,396
but a lot of the rough patches
I saw my parents go through
267
00:11:10,396 --> 00:11:12,164
was because of my mom working.
268
00:11:12,164 --> 00:11:14,400
God forbid she forgot
to iron his shirt
269
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,068
or pack his lunch.
270
00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:18,504
Look, baby, I understand
what you're saying.
271
00:11:18,504 --> 00:11:21,607
Hell, I didn't have a problem
with Miranda working, I...
272
00:11:22,908 --> 00:11:25,211
Look, I guess what I'm saying is
273
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:28,147
I think we were
just raised differently.
274
00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:31,183
[music]
275
00:11:31,183 --> 00:11:32,718
Yeah.
276
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:35,287
We were.
277
00:11:36,288 --> 00:11:38,057
[knocking on door]
278
00:11:38,858 --> 00:11:41,060
[knocking on door]
[Curtis] I'm coming!
279
00:11:51,337 --> 00:11:52,538
[Malik] After you.
280
00:11:52,538 --> 00:11:54,173
-[Jasmine] Thank you.
-You're welcome.
281
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,777
Greetings, Uncle Curtis.
282
00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:01,113
Greetings, Malik. Hello, Jazzy.
283
00:12:01,113 --> 00:12:02,381
Hello.
284
00:12:03,282 --> 00:12:05,885
And what can I do you for?
285
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,454
You go tell him.
286
00:12:09,255 --> 00:12:11,257
We realize the reason
we did not get paid
287
00:12:11,257 --> 00:12:14,193
is because we did not
submit an invoice to you.
288
00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:16,729
There you are.
289
00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:21,267
Invoice? Okay.
290
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,370
Well, after all the things
I've done for you,
291
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,839
both of you,
292
00:12:26,839 --> 00:12:29,141
I should be giving you
an invoice.
293
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,879
Okay. Fine.
294
00:12:35,614 --> 00:12:37,249
All right. Fine.
295
00:12:37,683 --> 00:12:38,884
[knocking on door]
296
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,319
Malik, get that.
297
00:12:43,856 --> 00:12:45,758
-[Malik] Oh, hey.
-Hey, Malik.
298
00:12:45,758 --> 00:12:48,794
Oh, my God.
That's two times in one day.
299
00:12:49,695 --> 00:12:52,198
What have I done
to deserve this, Lord?
300
00:12:53,165 --> 00:12:56,035
Usually, I send this by mail,
301
00:12:56,035 --> 00:12:58,537
but I thought it'd be fun
to see your face
302
00:12:58,537 --> 00:13:00,573
when you opened it.
303
00:13:01,207 --> 00:13:04,443
I would've preferred you sent
your flying monkeys.
304
00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:08,147
Uncle Curtis, I think you should
handle your letters
305
00:13:08,147 --> 00:13:10,382
in an order
that you receive them.
306
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:11,750
Boy, hush.
307
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,253
We tried, Malik.
Let's go raid the kitchen.
308
00:13:15,588 --> 00:13:18,090
$250 fine?
309
00:13:18,624 --> 00:13:19,825
For what?
310
00:13:19,825 --> 00:13:22,294
For breaking the law,
Curtis Payne.
311
00:13:22,294 --> 00:13:23,596
Gloria, come on now.
312
00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,364
Is it really that big of a deal
313
00:13:25,364 --> 00:13:27,800
having my front door
a different color?
314
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,903
The emails have been rolling in
like thunderheads
315
00:13:30,903 --> 00:13:32,805
since you painted that door.
316
00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:35,441
See, you're bringing down
everyone's property value
317
00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:36,642
with that tacky color.
318
00:13:36,642 --> 00:13:38,377
Oh, get out of here
with that mess.
319
00:13:38,377 --> 00:13:41,046
Everybody don't have to be
exactly the same.
320
00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:43,782
Every place in the neighborhood
gotta look exactly the same?
321
00:13:44,517 --> 00:13:48,554
And, besides, the only person
that pays my mortgage is me.
322
00:13:49,021 --> 00:13:51,056
Didn't nobody ask you
about who pays your mortgage.
323
00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:52,791
-I don't care who pays... No.
-What...
324
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,560
The thing is you need
to change that door.
325
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,896
You can't come around,
give somebody doggone $250...
326
00:13:56,896 --> 00:14:01,000
Hey! You two are at it again?
327
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:03,202
Baby, she trying to make
this neighborhood
328
00:14:03,202 --> 00:14:05,571
some old boring bougie place.
329
00:14:05,938 --> 00:14:08,741
And I'm not caving in
to the man.
330
00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:12,645
We have rules
for a reason, Curtis Payne.
331
00:14:12,645 --> 00:14:14,780
I mean, what if Mr. Jones
next door
332
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,682
decides to paint his house
purple?
333
00:14:16,682 --> 00:14:19,185
Or, God forbid, what if
Ms. Stephens
334
00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:22,588
decides to put that RV
back out in front of her house?
335
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,124
Sounds to me
like a perfect example
336
00:14:25,124 --> 00:14:28,260
of grown folks
minding their business,
337
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:31,497
which is something
I highly recommend.
338
00:14:31,497 --> 00:14:33,999
Curtis, you're so not nice.
339
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,235
No, no, no, don't worry, Ella,
it's okay.
340
00:14:36,669 --> 00:14:38,604
I am going
to go for now, Curtis.
341
00:14:38,604 --> 00:14:39,939
Go forever.
342
00:14:39,939 --> 00:14:44,877
Mm. No, I'll be back
bright and early tomorrow
343
00:14:44,877 --> 00:14:48,847
with another fine
if you don't change that door.
344
00:14:50,082 --> 00:14:52,017
And you can take that fine
and shove it...
345
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,586
[Ella] Curtis!
346
00:14:55,588 --> 00:14:57,256
She can shove it
if she wanna!
347
00:14:57,256 --> 00:14:58,524
[Ella] Stop.
348
00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:00,059
She can shove that fat--
349
00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:01,560
[gasps]
350
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,432
I don't know what I did
351
00:15:07,066 --> 00:15:11,437
to deserve takeout from all
of my favorite restaurants,
352
00:15:11,437 --> 00:15:12,972
but I'm grateful.
353
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:14,840
I'm so thankful.
354
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:19,612
Well, it's just from you being
your wonderfully fabulous self.
355
00:15:20,346 --> 00:15:24,817
The most loveable, forgiving,
understanding mom.
356
00:15:24,817 --> 00:15:26,518
-Yes, just, pshew...
-[Calvin] Yeah, yeah.
357
00:15:26,518 --> 00:15:28,053
-I mean...
-[Ella] What is it, what is it?
358
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:29,588
What's going on?
359
00:15:29,588 --> 00:15:30,889
She did it.
360
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,358
Sorry.
361
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,160
Did what?
362
00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:38,397
Mm, she was playing with it
and...
363
00:15:39,365 --> 00:15:41,367
Well, she just makes it
come out of me.
364
00:15:42,134 --> 00:15:43,936
Playing with it what?
365
00:15:44,270 --> 00:15:45,638
It was an accident, Mrs...
366
00:15:45,638 --> 00:15:47,039
What?
367
00:15:47,806 --> 00:15:49,008
The broom.
368
00:15:49,008 --> 00:15:51,744
What? What about the broom?
369
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:53,245
Well, she was swinging it around
370
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:55,714
and she said, "Out with the old,
in with the new," and it...
371
00:15:55,714 --> 00:15:58,450
And it snapped? Laura!
372
00:15:58,450 --> 00:15:59,585
I'm sorry.
373
00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:00,853
So you just broke it?
374
00:16:00,853 --> 00:16:03,088
No, I wasn't trying
to break it, Mrs. Payne.
375
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,391
What do you mean...
Okay, stop.
376
00:16:06,292 --> 00:16:10,029
Okay. It's probably nothing that
a little wood glue won't fix.
377
00:16:10,396 --> 00:16:12,598
It's all right, it's all right.
378
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,767
It will be good as new
379
00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,602
by the time you two get married.
380
00:16:16,902 --> 00:16:19,972
Well, the use of the broom
381
00:16:19,972 --> 00:16:22,941
was a matter of contention
between Laura and I.
382
00:16:23,809 --> 00:16:26,145
Well, is that
why you broke it, Laura?
383
00:16:26,145 --> 00:16:28,814
No, I wasn't trying
to break it, Mrs. Payne.
384
00:16:28,814 --> 00:16:31,150
Well, I mean, you grabbed it
kinda hard
385
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:32,618
and then you said,
"Out with the old,
386
00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:33,686
in with the new," and it...
387
00:16:36,689 --> 00:16:39,658
That's funny, Laura,
because that's one of the things
388
00:16:39,658 --> 00:16:41,894
jumping the broom symbolizes.
389
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:45,531
Out with the old,
in with the new.
390
00:16:45,531 --> 00:16:46,765
-Really?
-[Ella] Yes.
391
00:16:46,765 --> 00:16:48,534
-I never heard that one before.
-[Ella] Yes, yes.
392
00:16:48,534 --> 00:16:51,937
So what old things
are you trying to sweep away?
393
00:16:52,338 --> 00:16:54,540
Well, we had a conversation
394
00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:57,242
about my expectations
for her as a wife,
395
00:16:57,242 --> 00:17:01,013
and I said that part of me
would be okay
396
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,548
with her staying at home
with the kids.
397
00:17:03,582 --> 00:17:07,653
Calvin, I'm surprised she
did not crack you over the head
398
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:08,987
with the broom.
399
00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:12,124
Why would she do that?
400
00:17:12,124 --> 00:17:14,593
Baby, times have changed.
401
00:17:14,593 --> 00:17:17,529
If Laura wants to stay
at home with the kids,
402
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,232
let her do that.
That's her choice.
403
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,635
Not your mandate for her.
404
00:17:24,403 --> 00:17:27,139
Okay, well, if everything's
all equal,
405
00:17:27,573 --> 00:17:29,975
what if I decided
to stay home with the kids?
406
00:17:30,409 --> 00:17:33,879
I would be
perfectly fine with that,
407
00:17:33,879 --> 00:17:35,781
100% supportive of it.
408
00:17:35,781 --> 00:17:39,518
Now your dad may have some jokes
about it, but, uh...
409
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:41,253
Jokes about what?
410
00:17:41,587 --> 00:17:43,122
Jokes about Calvin,
411
00:17:43,122 --> 00:17:45,491
if Calvin stayed at home
with the kids, baby,
412
00:17:45,491 --> 00:17:48,227
while Laura brings home
the bacon.
413
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,630
I wouldn't make fun of him.
414
00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:54,566
I'd be too busy congratulating
him on his good luck.
415
00:17:57,736 --> 00:18:00,339
Well, the point of the matter is
416
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:05,611
your marriage can only work
for you.
417
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,047
It's not gonna work
like your father's and mine.
418
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,983
It's not gonna work
like yours and Miranda's,
419
00:18:10,983 --> 00:18:13,919
or your parents', Laura,
or anybody's.
420
00:18:13,919 --> 00:18:17,089
Marriage is between
the two of you,
421
00:18:17,089 --> 00:18:19,658
and it only works for you.
422
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:23,395
-Thanks, Mom.
-Thank you, Mrs. Payne.
423
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:27,232
And if it's all right with you,
424
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:30,269
we'd like
to still borrow your broom.
425
00:18:30,269 --> 00:18:32,604
We'd be honored to have it
at our wedding.
426
00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:35,007
No problem. I'm sure it's...
427
00:18:35,007 --> 00:18:37,209
Aah! Calvin!
428
00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:40,279
-You said wood glue, wood glue.
-What if you glue...
429
00:18:40,279 --> 00:18:43,949
No. This can't be fixed
with the wood glue.
430
00:18:43,949 --> 00:18:47,286
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
It was me, okay?
431
00:18:47,286 --> 00:18:50,422
I broke the doggone broom
and I hid it in the attic.
432
00:18:51,824 --> 00:18:53,625
-What?
-I'm sorry, baby.
433
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,195
See, she just brings it
out of you.
434
00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:58,530
Apparently.
435
00:18:58,530 --> 00:18:59,865
Curtis.
436
00:19:00,299 --> 00:19:02,367
But we can glue this.
437
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:07,872
[email notification dinging]
438
00:19:07,872 --> 00:19:09,374
Email.
439
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,476
Who is this?
440
00:19:14,546 --> 00:19:16,214
"Debt collector?
441
00:19:17,215 --> 00:19:19,250
Unpaid wages?"
442
00:19:19,985 --> 00:19:21,286
What the hell is this?
443
00:19:22,721 --> 00:19:24,155
Ingrates...
444
00:19:24,656 --> 00:19:26,191
[loudly clearing throat]
445
00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:29,694
I see you've received
the communication
446
00:19:29,694 --> 00:19:31,563
regarding our unpaid wages.
447
00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:34,332
Come on, man.
I got a family to support.
448
00:19:34,332 --> 00:19:37,035
And I got a nail appointment
to get to.
449
00:19:38,036 --> 00:19:39,537
Okay.
450
00:19:40,605 --> 00:19:42,140
Since you wanna handle
business...
451
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,342
Mm-hmm. Let's do it.
452
00:19:44,342 --> 00:19:47,779
Let's say we gonna deduct for
your unauthorized break,
453
00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:51,282
huh, and your damaged property.
454
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:55,253
And let's not forget
you getting on my nerves.
455
00:19:55,754 --> 00:19:58,123
-Come on, man.
-That's not fair, Uncle Curtis.
456
00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,691
Yes, it is as fair.
It's business, baby,
457
00:19:59,691 --> 00:20:01,126
-It's not.
-I told you.
458
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:03,428
-I told you he was gonna...
-You was right. You were right.
459
00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:05,363
A matter of fact, get this done
[mumbles].
460
00:20:05,363 --> 00:20:06,998
Where did you come from?
461
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,833
Ah-- [coughs]
462
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,069
My God, I didn't think
I'd have to see you
463
00:20:11,069 --> 00:20:12,737
at least for another day.
464
00:20:13,071 --> 00:20:17,075
Well, it seems
I owe you an apo...
465
00:20:20,078 --> 00:20:23,581
It seems I owe you an apo...
466
00:20:25,383 --> 00:20:28,653
An apology. Seems I owe you
an apology.
467
00:20:28,653 --> 00:20:29,687
For what?
468
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,524
Well, what I thought
were complaints
469
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:35,593
rolling in
were actually requests
470
00:20:35,593 --> 00:20:40,432
to update the by-laws
to include more door colors.
471
00:20:40,432 --> 00:20:43,234
Well, what about the fine?
472
00:20:43,234 --> 00:20:45,003
Mm, I'll take the fine.
473
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:47,338
Now, hold on now.
Half of that is mine.
474
00:20:47,338 --> 00:20:49,474
Ooh, look at the time. I'm late
for that nail appointment.
475
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:51,209
You see?
476
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:54,379
[music]
477
00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:58,676
[music]
478
00:21:24,627 --> 00:21:26,129
[music]
479
00:21:26,696 --> 00:21:28,665
[BET theme]