All right, Uncle Curtis, we're here.
What's the big emergency?
Well, it's about doggone time.
I could've been dead by the time y'all got here.
What's going on?
Jazmine and I were on the way to the store
when we got a call saying, "Come straight here.
There's an emergency."
And the emergency is
the front door is not gonna paint itself.
I'm failing to see the emergency in that.
Yeah, you know, emergencies typically involve
life or death situations.
Indeed it do, Malik.
And it will be your life or death
if you two don't get my doggone door painted.
Curtis.
What, baby? They getting compensated for the time.
I'm not that inconsiderate.
All right, deal, why didn't you say so?
These nails are in some serious need of some TLC.
And baby needs some new shoes, so where's the equipment at?
Yeah, baby, do you have the paint color already?
Baby, now, who do you think I am, woman?
You know I got this.
All right, get... You two, aha, aha, aha.
-That's for us? -Aha, aha, aha.
-[Malik] Thank you. -That's like [indistinct].
[Ella] While you wait.
This is why you're my favorite aunty.
-Is that right? Is that right? -Thank you.
[Ella chuckling]
I know I am.
You got some syrup, Aunty?
Well, yeah.
I know you got some syrup for me.
Wait a minute, Jazmine.
Now you just asking for too much.
[indistinct] eating today.
I'm good with this, baby.
It's called '57 Chevy.
Ooh, baby, now that is a very nice color.
Is it nice, baby?
Oh, you... A matter of fact, this reminds me of...
Yeah, the color that was on that home improvement show
that you made me watch that you love so much.
-[Ella] Right. -Are we paying attention?
Well, baby, have you paid attention
to the HOA by-laws?
I don't know if this is allowed.
[croaking]
Excuse me? Allowed?
Yes, baby, I don't know.
Yeah, them HOAs ain't no joke.
I tell you what. There ain't nothing wrong
with a little, a little manual labor.
Okay. Speaking of which,
you two need to get up.
Go out there.
There's a canvas next to the door.
-Go put your hands on it. -Curtis.
-Okay. -Curtis!
Boy, you getting heavy.
And y'all need to get to work.
No, don't manhandle me like that, Uncle Curtis.
-Get to work, get to work. -[Ella] Curtis!
Let me eat! Let me eat!
-Oh, my God [indistinct] -Curtis, let them eat!
Look at her, she gonna take her food with her.
She always was the smart one.
-[Ella] Curtis. -Huh?
They haven't even eaten.
Uh, no, what they doing now is called an unauthorized break.
And I'm taking it out of their pay.
Get to work.
Curtis, I'm serious about the by-laws, baby.
The last thing you want
is Gloria breathing down your neck, right?
Ain't nobody scared of that jackal
or her bad breath.
Remember I warned you. I'm going to Calvin's.
For what?
Curtis, I found the heirloom in the attic,
and I'm going to take it over there
and loan it to them for their wedding.
Heirloom, what?
[Ella] The broom heirloom!
You found that?
[theme music]
[fire hydrant spraying]
[birds chirping]
[airplane flying]
[car alarm blaring] [horn honking]
[fireworks whistling, bursting]
[siren wailing]
Okay, so, babe, I was thinking
that we have a table for my immediate family...
[Laura] Yes.
To sit together, and then we have a table
for your immediate family to sit together.
Uh. Uh, baby,
My aunt, Dortha Jean, and Uncle Joe at the same table?
Um, yeah.
My aunt and uncle who are divorced.
They can't have a meal together?
[chuckling sarcastically]
Baby, they cannot have a meal together,
not unless you want World War III to break out
between the soup and salad.
Well, I thought they were close.
-Yeah. -But, damn,
-I didn't no it was like that. -Nah.
They haven't been close since as long as I can remember.
You know what? Look,
let's just take a break, okay?
-Yes. -[Calvin] Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Baby, is there something wrong?
You know, I just...
Thinking about them in the same room together
just makes me wanna cancel the whole reception.
Well, if it's between losing our deposit,
and not inviting your aunt and uncle,
I'd take not inviting your aunt and uncle.
But you know what, you know what?
I'm fair, I'm fair.
How about we just invite one of them?
Which one are you closer to?
You are so silly.
No, it's just, I don't know.
Just thinking about all these things
and marriage as a whole,
a lot of people just follow these old-fashioned notions.
And they stay together no matter what
and it's like, I don't know, it's crazy.
Your parents seem like they're happy.
Yeah, but they've had their fair share of rough patches too.
[knocking on door]
[Ella] Hoody-hoo.
Come in.
-[Laura] Hey, Mrs. Payne. -[Calvin] Hey.
-Hi! Hi! -[Laura] How are you?
I come bearing gifts.
Wow, this is so beautiful, Mrs. Payne.
-Thank you. -Ooh, it's, uh, it's something.
Baby, this is what is used in weddings
to jump over the broom.
-[Ella] Yes. -Oh, like in Roots.
Exactly.
-Wow. -Well, thank you.
You're welcome.
It didn't start with me and your father.
My grandmother made this
when she was marrying your great-grandfather Calvin,
your namesake.
I cannot wait to see you two jump over it.
Well, thank you, Mom.
Thanks.
All right, so we did a good job?
We worked hard. It took all day.
Two full coats.
-Yeah. -Two full coats.
Mm-hmm.
Looks all right. Okay, bye.
Um, excuse me?
Back, devil!
Oh, it's just one of his minions.
What the hell do you want, Glo?
I want to know why you have changed your door
to a color that is not a part of the neighborhood aesthetic.
Uh, you seem to be getting a little busy,
so if you could just pay me and my coworker,
we'll just get on our way.
If you're referring to that boring beige,
I never agreed to that, Glo.
By continuing to live in this neighborhood,
yes, you have agreed to that.
So fines will be enforced
if you do not comply to the by-laws.
And hooker red is not a part of them....
Then why are you still standing here?
-Hooker. -[Gloria] Oh,, see!
I knew you are so disrespectful.
Yeah, whatever. You walked up on my...
And you went across my grass.
Whatever, you didn't even water it anyway.
Yeah, don't worry about....
What is going on? Hello, you two!
What is going on out here?
This one is disrespectful.
Yeah, right, it's always my fault.
Uh, Aunty Ella, Uncle Curtis sent us in here,
said that you was gonna pay us, then we can be on our way.
No, I didn't.
Curtis, really, out here...
It's okay. We're okay.
Go on back in the house.
HOA business.
Uh, excuse you?
I though you was doing the dishes
and I was doing the sweeping.
Ha-ha.
Just, I just don't know about this.
Oh, boo, it's cool.
She said we can swap out the ribbons and the flowers.
-We good. -No, not that, Calvin.
I mean the whole idea around it.
Well, what exactly is that?
Well, I don't know, varies.
Basically, it's for good luck in your marriage.
Oh, luck. Ew.
We don't need that.
No, but it's also a commitment from the wife
to adhere to certain "old-school,"
old-fashioned notions, Calvin.
Oh, like obeying me.
I could definitely get into that.
[Laura] [sarcastic laugh] Of course.
But, no, baby, those are real expectations
that they had for women back in the day.
You had to pop out kids,
have dinner on the table by 6:00,
and you would get a new washing machine for Christmas.
Mm, expectations,
well, husbands have expectations too, you know.
Work till you die, get the home with the picket fence,
go check on the noise downstairs,
the one that went bump in the night, yeah.
Uh, I still expect all of that.
But, seriously, babe.
Honestly, parts of me do want you to be home with the kids
while I provide, but I know that's...
Impractical, archaic, sexist.
Baby, everything old fashioned is not bad.
My parents are old school and they're still happy.
Baby, I love your parents.
I respect your parents.
But I do not wanna be Curtis and Ella Payne.
I say out with the old and in with the new, baby.
Oh!
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Well, that ain't my broom.
But wait a minute, let's back up a little bit.
What's wrong with being Curtis and Ella Payne?
Calvin, let's focus on one thing at a time, please.
-We gotta put this back. -Okay.
Boom. Done.
Now, you were saying?
Okay, I was saying
your mom was a homemaker, right?
It worked for her, but I'm made differently, baby.
I still have things that I wanna do in my career.
Yeah, but what about if we have kids?
I don't even know if I want kids at this point.
Woah, woah, wait a minute. That's news to me.
Baby, I just don't know if I'm meant to have babies
and have a career.
Like, what's the saying? How does it go?
You're expected to work like you're not a parent
and parent like you don't work.
Yeah, but I... Wait a minute. That's kind of deep.
Yeah, it is and it's true, babe.
Like, I know this isn't the conversation
you expected us to have right now,
but a lot of the rough patches I saw my parents go through
was because of my mom working.
God forbid she forgot to iron his shirt
or pack his lunch.
Look, baby, I understand what you're saying.
Hell, I didn't have a problem with Miranda working, I...
Look, I guess what I'm saying is
I think we were just raised differently.
[music]
Yeah.
We were.
[knocking on door]
[Curtis] I'm coming!
[Malik] After you.
-[Jasmine] Thank you. -You're welcome.
Greetings, Uncle Curtis.
Greetings, Malik. Hello, Jazzy.
Hello.
And what can I do you for?
You go tell him.
We realize the reason we did not get paid
is because we did not submit an invoice to you.
There you are.
Invoice? Okay.
Well, after all the things I've done for you,
both of you,
I should be giving you an invoice.
Okay. Fine.
All right. Fine.
[knocking on door]
Malik, get that.
-[Malik] Oh, hey. -Hey, Malik.
Oh, my God. That's two times in one day.
What have I done to deserve this, Lord?
Usually, I send this by mail,
but I thought it'd be fun to see your face
when you opened it.
I would've preferred you sent your flying monkeys.
Uncle Curtis, I think you should handle your letters
in an order that you receive them.
Boy, hush.
We tried, Malik. Let's go raid the kitchen.
$250 fine?
For what?
For breaking the law, Curtis Payne.
Gloria, come on now.
Is it really that big of a deal
having my front door a different color?
The emails have been rolling in like thunderheads
since you painted that door.
See, you're bringing down everyone's property value
with that tacky color.
Oh, get out of here with that mess.
Everybody don't have to be exactly the same.
Every place in the neighborhood gotta look exactly the same?
And, besides, the only person that pays my mortgage is me.
Didn't nobody ask you about who pays your mortgage.
-I don't care who pays... No. -What...
The thing is you need to change that door.
You can't come around, give somebody doggone $250...
Hey! You two are at it again?
Baby, she trying to make this neighborhood
some old boring bougie place.
And I'm not caving in to the man.
We have rules for a reason, Curtis Payne.
I mean, what if Mr. Jones next door
decides to paint his house purple?
Or, God forbid, what if Ms. Stephens
decides to put that RV back out in front of her house?
Sounds to me like a perfect example
of grown folks minding their business,
which is something I highly recommend.
Curtis, you're so not nice.
No, no, no, don't worry, Ella, it's okay.
I am going to go for now, Curtis.
Go forever.
Mm. No, I'll be back bright and early tomorrow
with another fine if you don't change that door.
And you can take that fine and shove it...
[Ella] Curtis!
She can shove it if she wanna!
[Ella] Stop.
She can shove that fat--
[gasps]
I don't know what I did
to deserve takeout from all of my favorite restaurants,
but I'm grateful.
I'm so thankful.
Well, it's just from you being your wonderfully fabulous self.
The most loveable, forgiving, understanding mom.
-Yes, just, pshew... -[Calvin] Yeah, yeah.
-I mean... -[Ella] What is it, what is it?
What's going on?
She did it.
Sorry.
Did what?
Mm, she was playing with it and...
Well, she just makes it come out of me.
Playing with it what?
It was an accident, Mrs...
What?
The broom.
What? What about the broom?
Well, she was swinging it around
and she said, "Out with the old, in with the new," and it...
And it snapped? Laura!
I'm sorry.
So you just broke it?
No, I wasn't trying to break it, Mrs. Payne.
What do you mean... Okay, stop.
Okay. It's probably nothing that a little wood glue won't fix.
It's all right, it's all right.
It will be good as new
by the time you two get married.
Well, the use of the broom
was a matter of contention between Laura and I.
Well, is that why you broke it, Laura?
No, I wasn't trying to break it, Mrs. Payne.
Well, I mean, you grabbed it kinda hard
and then you said, "Out with the old,
in with the new," and it...
That's funny, Laura, because that's one of the things
jumping the broom symbolizes.
Out with the old, in with the new.
-Really? -[Ella] Yes.
-I never heard that one before. -[Ella] Yes, yes.
So what old things are you trying to sweep away?
Well, we had a conversation
about my expectations for her as a wife,
and I said that part of me would be okay
with her staying at home with the kids.
Calvin, I'm surprised she did not crack you over the head
with the broom.
Why would she do that?
Baby, times have changed.
If Laura wants to stay at home with the kids,
let her do that. That's her choice.
Not your mandate for her.
Okay, well, if everything's all equal,
what if I decided to stay home with the kids?
I would be perfectly fine with that,
100% supportive of it.
Now your dad may have some jokes about it, but, uh...
Jokes about what?
Jokes about Calvin,
if Calvin stayed at home with the kids, baby,
while Laura brings home the bacon.
I wouldn't make fun of him.
I'd be too busy congratulating him on his good luck.
Well, the point of the matter is
your marriage can only work for you.
It's not gonna work like your father's and mine.
It's not gonna work like yours and Miranda's,
or your parents', Laura, or anybody's.
Marriage is between the two of you,
and it only works for you.
-Thanks, Mom. -Thank you, Mrs. Payne.
And if it's all right with you,
we'd like to still borrow your broom.
We'd be honored to have it at our wedding.
No problem. I'm sure it's...
Aah! Calvin!
-You said wood glue, wood glue. -What if you glue...
No. This can't be fixed with the wood glue.
Okay, look, I'm sorry. It was me, okay?
I broke the doggone broom and I hid it in the attic.
-What? -I'm sorry, baby.
See, she just brings it out of you.
Apparently.
Curtis.
But we can glue this.
[email notification dinging]
Email.
Who is this?
"Debt collector?
Unpaid wages?"
What the hell is this?
Ingrates...
[loudly clearing throat]
I see you've received the communication
regarding our unpaid wages.
Come on, man. I got a family to support.
And I got a nail appointment to get to.
Okay.
Since you wanna handle business...
Mm-hmm. Let's do it.
Let's say we gonna deduct for your unauthorized break,
huh, and your damaged property.
And let's not forget you getting on my nerves.
-Come on, man. -That's not fair, Uncle Curtis.
Yes, it is as fair. It's business, baby,
-It's not. -I told you.
-I told you he was gonna... -You was right. You were right.
A matter of fact, get this done [mumbles].
Where did you come from?
Ah-- [coughs]
My God, I didn't think I'd have to see you
at least for another day.
Well, it seems I owe you an apo...
It seems I owe you an apo...
An apology. Seems I owe you an apology.
For what?
Well, what I thought were complaints
rolling in were actually requests
to update the by-laws to include more door colors.
Well, what about the fine?
Mm, I'll take the fine.
Now, hold on now. Half of that is mine.
Ooh, look at the time. I'm late for that nail appointment.
You see?
[music]
[BET theme]