- Okay, listen, just please let me know as, as,
as soon as you know something, okay?
No, not about the Etsy store, about the baby.
Alright, bye.
[sighs]
- What did your friend say?
- Okay, she just started her shift at the E.R.
and she's going to track them down
and as soon as she does, she'll let me know.
- I hope it's a boy.
- Say what?
- I hope Lisa has a baby boy.
- Curtis, how can you think about that
when we are in the middle of a family crisis?
- Oh, Mr. Payne, you're trying to stay positive.
- Nah, I just don't want to be doing nobody's hair again.
- [laughs] - That is so selfish.
- Ella, this is gonna be my first grandniece.
Okay? and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her quiet.
I mean, make her happy.
- But what if it's a grandnephew?
- Then, I can just throw him in the baptismal pool
and wish him luck.
- [laughs]
- Curtis, this is no time to laugh.
- Baby, look, we have been through the worst of the worst.
Okay? And being stressed and worried don't make it no better.
- Mr. Payne's right.
We have definitely been through a lot as a family.
- Yes.
- Well, at least, you guys have.
- Don't do that. Don't do that.
You are part of this family and you always will be.
- Ms. Ella.
- Muah, muah, muah.
- Well, baby, you know technically...
- Um, I'm, I'm right here, Mr. Payne.
- Hey, come on.
- "Come on" what, baby?
I'm just saying. I'm kidding.
Come on, I'm just trying to lighten up the mood.
Now, come on.
- Well, help less, lighten less and pray more.
- Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hey, okay, Lattice, you found them.
Oh, okay. Oh, that's good.
Good, good, good.
Oh, no, no, no, that's, that's, that's not good.
- No, it's not.
- So, wait, there's-- what happened?
There's nothing else that they can do?
Okay. I'll let him know.
- Oh, how bad is it?
How bad is it?
- It's not good.
Someone hacked into her Etsy store.
Shut it down.
Now she can't sell any of her porcelain cats.
- The babies, Miranda.
- Um, Malik, Lisa and the baby,
they were discharged about an hour ago.
So they left the hospital.
They should be home soon.
- ELLA: Oof! You should have lead with that.
- ♪
♪♪
- [exclaiming, baby talk]
- You got your momma looks.
- Hey, nook, nook!
- Hey! Oh, my goodness!
Oh, let me see that baby girl.
- Hold on there, Edward Sooty Hands.
- Excuse me?
- Are your hands clean?
- Really?
- Yes, it's no disrespect, Miranda,
but babies are very susceptible to germs.
- Wow, I didn't know that.
You know, I pushed a whole human out of my vagina.
How about you?
- Oh.
- Yeah, girl, he asked the hospital
for a sterilized surgical suit before we left.
- [laughs]
- The first baby fear.
- 100 percent.
- Calvin washed his hands so much,
he looked like he had sharecroppers fingers.
- [laughing]
- Oh, I remember that.
- Ssh, ssh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Not so loud, alright? She's sleeping.
- Boy, we couldn't even listen to the radio on the way home.
He drove 35 all the way.
- I was being safe.
- We were on the interstate.
- Oh, she is so beautiful, Malik.
Oh... [baby talks] - Thank you, Auntie Ella.
You know, she really does look like Mom.
- ELLA: Mmhmm.
- Hey, um, Auntie Ella? - Mmhmm.
- Have you heard anything?
- Not yet.
- [sighs] This family really doesn't deserve this.
- God would not give us more than we can bear.
- Yeah, I understand, it's just, it's not much
this family hasn't been through.
- Lisa, do you need anything?
- A name.
- Oh, you haven't named this child yet?
- No, we just been calling her Da Baby.
- [laughs]
- That's my favorite rapper.
Not a good name for a girl.
- You know, I been thinking about Janine Jr.
- [laughing]
- Look, ssh, ssh, Da Baby's sleeping.
- Malik, that's very thoughtful.
- Yeah, but maybe you should just give it a little bit...
- It's a terrible name.
- Not Janine, but the junior.
- Well, why can't women be juniors?
- Because only men are juniors.
- That's sexist.
- Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.
- Malik, you are not thinking straight right now.
- Auntie Ella, I am thinking straight.
Okay, I'm thinking about if my mom never gets a chance
to meet her granddaughter,
then at least she can live out her legacy.
- Do you ever have those unthinkable thoughts?
- You mean, like the house being quiet all the time?
- I mean, like losing Aunt Ella.
- We talked about it.
And I really do hope, hope she goes first.
- Why would you say that?
- Well, I mean, CJ, whoever's left here
gotta deal with all of it.
- All of what?
- The grief, loneliness, depression,
finances, arrangements.
Meanwhile, whoever goes first,
you just run off to the afterlife afterparty.
- I never thought about it like that.
- Mm.
I wouldn't wanna leave Ella here with all that, alone.
- That's huge, Unc.
- That's til death do us part.
That's what that is.
- Mm.
- Hey, guys, I got some news.
Janine's plane is in Charlotte, North Carolina.
- Well, where did you hear that?
There's nothing on the news or on social media.
- Floyd and Pookie told me.
- Okay, so you been watching Dumb N-N again.
- So, there are no new developments?
- Floyd cuts Ronnie B's hair.
Ronnie B used to mess with Pookie's aunt.
- Okay, what is the point to this ghetto family reunion?
- Well, Pookie's aunt works for the FAA.
She told him about... about the plane crash.
- Crash?
Did, did she say those words?
Plane crash?
- Well, no, she said incident.
But the shop said plane crash.
- Okay, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Please, all of that information is useless.
- Okay. Don't listen to the streets.
But they be knowing what's happening.
- NEWS REPORTER: Breaking news just in.
An inbound flight to Atlanta has suffered an engine failure.
- See, now, that's a reliable source.
- NEWS REPORTER: The plane was diverted for an emergency
landing in Charlotte, North Carolina.
- Well, I'll be damned.
- Floyd and Pookie also sold me some Bitcoin.
- I gotta get out of here.
- Well, where you going?
- Charlotte.
- Well, before you know the status of the flight?
- Do you think that's wise?
- No, I think it's til death do us part.
- That's my boy.
- Okay, ox tails, kale salad,
pecan pie, dressing and sliced apples.
- Ooh.
- You're welcome.
- My postpartum meal
was cheeseburgers, cereal and taffy.
- I don't know why I'm so hungry.
- Your body's burning extra calories producing breast milk.
- So, were you gonna breastfeed or bottle feed?
You know, now men are breastfeeding with a bag.
Mmhmm.
- Oh, I entered on the wrong conversation.
Let me go.
- Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where you going?
- The baby, she's crying.
- You just put her to sleep.
- Have a seat.
- [laughing]
- [sighs] You know I've been thinking on it
and we're gonna name the baby Janine.
- Malik, I think that is a wonderful gesture.
- Well, thank you, Auntie Ella.
Now, you don't think I'm being too pretentious, right?
I mean, 'cause it kinda feels like if I name her that,
then it's almost like jinxing my mom.
- Follow your heart, babe.
I mean this is a special moment.
We're giving her a name.
- You're right.
Auntie Ella, why did my parents name me Malik?
- [laughs]
[clears throat]
Curtis misspelled Malachi on the gift basket.
- Oh, wow.
- The nurse saw it and wrote it on the carrier in the hospital.
- That was it?
- Yes.
And when you came home, we loved the name Malik.
- Hmm.
- And Curtis still can not spell a single name in the Bible.
- [laughing]
- I can't believe that.
- No, he argues with me that Job
should have an E on the end of it.
- Oh, I can't believe that.
- Yes.
- Wait, so how did Calvin get his name?
- Another Curtis Payne special.
- He misspelled Calvin?
- Not one time.
When he saw me... [laughs]
I was wearing Calvin Klein jeans.
- [laughs] And?
- And he said naming Calvin would remind him of,
um, use your imagination.
- Oh. - [laughing]
- Oh, boy, one thing being in this family has taught me
is that there are so many precious moments
that we can't take for granted.
- Mmhmm, you're right. Tomorrow's not promised.
- Nope. - To anybody.
It can be gone in the blink of an eye.
- Mmm.
- That's why me and Lisa have to get married, ASAP.
- Can I eat my ox tail first?
- Malik, you know I am against people
playing married and shacking up.
But this is not a decision
that you want to make impulsively.
- I understand that, but if it was anyone
that I thought would be excited, I thought it would be you.
- Don't make lifelong decisions for me.
Make sure that this is something
that will work for the both of you.
- Well, Lisa, what do you think?
Do you think it's the right time?
- Malik. - Yeah?
- I am so hungry, I can't even think straight right now.
Y'all got any more cornbread dressing?
- Wait, you, you want more food?
- Are you calling me fat?
- Ooh, they just skipped the vows
and went straight to passive-aggressive arguing.
- No, that's not what I'm doing.
I'm not calling you fat, okay?
I basically just proposed to you
and your response was more cornbread dressing.
- Malik, I just had our baby.
A human being curled up in me for nine months.
A baby, that for the record, you put in me.
- Yep, yep. - Oh.
- They're married. They're married. They married.
- This isn't about cornbread dressing or the baby.
- Says the man who was named after a Bible book typo.
- Oh, wow. So now I'm a mistake?
That's where you going with this?
- Alrighty, right there.
Ha-ha, ding, ding, ding.
Let's take a breath.
Let's everybody take a--
- [exhales]
- A breath.
- [exhales]
- You know what? I got a, I got a better idea.
Maybe we should take a break.
- Okay, you know what? You are right.
Let cooler heads prevail.
And, um, here, Malik, you want some kale salad?
- Nah. I'm out.
We should take a break.
- Where are you going?
- I got my baby on my mind right now.
- Okay, cool, cool, cool.
So, I can use the Bitcoin like money, right?
- [knock at door]
- Nah, I'm cool on that, playboy.
But you keep making it rain digitally
at the strip club.
- Hey, what's up, Cuzo? - What's happening, man?
You know, I see why you did it now.
- Jazmine snitched on me?
Please, don't tell my momma.
She'd die if she realized I tattooed my kids
all over my back.
- Thanks for that intel in case I have to blackmail you.
Uh, but, no.
I understand why you got a divorce now.
- Well, well, well.
My little cousin is finally a member
of the Baby Momma Drama Club.
Well, as the president, welcome.
- [laughs]
You know, I'm glad that you think this is so funny.
- Hey, if you don't laugh through it, it'll destroy you.
I almost didn't make it.
- Wait, how so?
- Well, Miranda and I got to a bad place.
Now, I would never put my hands on a woman,
but I definitely thought about hiring a woman
to put her hands on Miranda.
- [chuckles] You know they have a phrase for that.
- Marriage. - Conspiracy to commit--
Sure, marriage. - It's work.
It's a 24/7 job.
And add a baby on top of that
it's like working a double shift that never ends.
- What happened?
Like, what was the one thing that made you walk away?
- Nothing. It was me.
I wasn't willing to put in the work anymore.
Really, I didn't know how to.
- What you mean you didn't know how to?
You had Uncle Curtis and Auntie Ella as examples.
- Pssh, when they got married, date night
was a ride to town on a horse and buggy.
All they had was each other.
- Yeah, well, what worked for them--
- Definitely wouldn't work for me.
- And what worked for you--
- Damn sure won't work for you and Lisa.
- Facts, man.
- But the operative word is work.
You gotta put in to make it last.
- What happens if we never get married?
- Well, I personally don't have a problem
with a lifetime of awkward Thanksgiving dinners.
- Yeah, I know you don't have a problem,
but Auntie Ella wouldn't be happy.
- Well, times are changing.
Marriage isn't the goal anymore.
People got life partners.
And my mom doesn't like that.
And I get it. It's not biblical.
My mom believes in marriage.
- Yeah, you know, my mom and dad believe in marriage too, so.
- I obviously do too.
It's just it has to be right.
- You're right.
It has to be right.
- I mean, I said til death do we part.
And Miranda and I are obviously still alive.
But we obviously not together.
- [laughs]
Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, best man.
- Ooh, hey.
- Ssh.
- Hey.
Well, Janine is, uh, she's fine.
Not a scratch.
Yeah.
She's on a flight to New York.
She's gonna reschedule her meeting.
She's gonna pitch an idea
for a life-changing opportunity tomorrow.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, she wants you to send her some videos.
Some videos while she's on the plane.
[laughs]
She wants to see our grandbaby tonight.
And she said send her tons of pictures.
She wants you to call her as soon as she lands.
- She's going back to work already?
I mean, after all she's been through today?
- My wife is the strongest woman I know.
And she's in you, little one.
[laughs]
Hopefully, you and Malik can find a way
to support each other in every way possible.
I would, I would love that.
You know?
But she's gonna need that.
Right? - Yeah.
Okay.
- You know, I owe you an apology.
For how I was talking to you.
I don't know what was going on.
I mean, my hormones was all over the place.
Like... [growls]
- Okay.
I've heard that sound before.
[laughs]
Yeah.
I'm familiar with that one.
So, apology accepted.
Oh, before I forget.
She wanted me to give you this.
Look at that baby.
Look at that.
- "Lisa, I'm so sorry I couldn't be there
"for the birth of your beautiful baby
"and my granddaughter.
"I'm sure you will be twice the mother
"I wish I could've been.
"You have the heart and the spirit of the matriarchs
"who have saved us for many generations.
"I heard you and Malik are still thinking about a name.
I think it would be beautiful if you named your child..."
Lord, for the last few weeks I've been binge-watching
this show you made called Life.
And it's pretty good.
A baby, a plane incident
and a marriage proposal.
Who's directing this, Moses?
For the next episode, can you please bring back Malik?
Amen. - Amen.
- Malik?
Okay!
- I'm sorry.
Look, I'm not ready to get married.
- I'll get married if that's what you want.
- Oh, thank God.
Woo, won't he do it?
- Didn't do it.
- Look, I'm not, I'm not saying
that I don't ever want to get married to you.
- And I just don't want to make the same
life-changing decision that we did before.
- Nice save.
- Speaking of saves.
Your mom saved us.
She named our child.
- Malisa.
[laughs]
Malik plus Lisa.
Wow, that's actually really brillant.
- It's us.
- You're right.
And it's beautiful.
- It is.
- Wow.
- ♪ He got the big ol' big world ♪
- ♪ In his hands ♪
- BOTH: ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪
- Zuh.
- He, he, see, we right there.
- [unintelligible]
- [baby passes gas]
- [unintelligible]
- Oh, Curtis, Curtis, she's related to you.
What did she eat? - [laughs]
- Oh my goodness. - Mm-mm.
Don't you be insulting my little grandniece like that.
Huh?
Hon, ol' heathen's talking about your angel poop.
That angel poop.
We're gonna grow some flowers with that angel poop.
- She's smiling. She's smiling.
Does Malik got a baby?
Oh.
- She's so pretty, ain't she?
- That baby's beautiful.
- That pretty little thing.
- Looks just like the Auntie.
- She's a little wrinkled up, but she'll fill out.
- ♪