- Come on Lisa. You're tripping.
I didn't do anything. I swear.
- Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.
- I saw you with my own two eyes kissing her.
- Malik, you are not out in these streets doing dirt,
are you?
That's not you.
- He did it.
- In her dream.
How can you get mad at me about something that's happening
in your dream? Make it make sense.
- You're not gonna try to make me sound crazy.
- Okay, wait, he cheated in your dream?
- Mmhmm.
And what is done in the dark will come to light.
I got the great gift of sight from my great grandmother.
- Oh, is this the same great grandmother
who got ran over by a ice cream truck?
She can see me cheating, but she can't see oncoming traffic?
- I told you once before it's the ice cream truck music.
- Oh.
- [sighs]
- What's up Dad, you good?
- I made the mistake of playing the twins in basketball.
One of them kept fouling me and every time I missed a shot,
the other one kept calling me Lebron Lame.
- [laughs] I taught him that.
- Oh, that was you? - Yeah.
- Hey, this college catalog came for you in the mail.
- Ugh! - What's wrong?
I thought you'd be excited to start community college.
- I'm good.
- If that's your I'm good face
I'd hate to see your woe is me face.
- What's the big deal?
I mean, all you do is see what you want to study
and pick those classes.
- Yeah, well, it's not that easy.
- Yeah, I know college can be overwhelming,
but you just have to look at it like a buffet.
- Oh, this is about to make no sense.
- Hey, listen, you just eat little bits at a time
and then when your plate is full you just take a break.
- You know what? Actually that does make sense.
- But listen, you gotta get out before you have to pay
because student loans, ooh girl, will have you bloated.
- That took a turn for the worse.
- Babe, it's actually fun to pick new classes
and thinking about all the new things
that you're gonna learn.
- How am I supposed to know what to do?
What if I choose the wrong thing
and lose two years of my life and my money?
- Getting an education is never a waste of time
- And you know what they say, if you do something you love,
you'll never work a day in your life.
So try to figure out what you like to do.
- Can I get a job staying in bed?
- Yes, and you don't need a degree,
but instead of getting an HMO,
you make get an STD.
♪♪
- Hmm, what about dance?
Oh no, you've already mastered that.
You'd probably teach them a thing or two.
Hmm.
Oh there's horticulture.
North American studies.
There's African American studies.
Um, Latino American studies.
There is Native American studies.
- You know Lisa, you can be whatever you want to be.
- That's the problem. I don't know what that is.
- Well, what would you do every day
if you had all the money you ever wanted?
- Count my money.
How did you know what you wanted to do?
- Well, I wanted to be of service.
When I used to show up at people's houses,
it was 'cause I wanted to help people.
I like helping people.
- That's why I used to like working the champagne room.
I mean, it felt good being the best part of somebody's day.
I still read my Yelp reviews.
- Oh baby, please.
- Did I say something inappropriate?
- Like a stripper pole in a church.
- Well, maybe you should be an entrepreneur.
Look, how about a business class?
- That might not be a bad idea.
I mean, I did help the club manager
cook his books for the IRS.
- Don't overthink it.
If it feels right, just do what feels good.
You like taking care of people.
What about being a doctor?
- Mhm.
Dr. Lisa Payne.
- Yes, yes!
I love taking other people's money.
Could you pay me in small bills
so it feels like it's more than it is?
- How do you miss a 17-yard field goal
is what I want to know.
- I can answer your question after I count my paper.
Now pay up, you loser.
- Well, my wallet is in my jacket.
Oh.
- CJ! CJ, wake up! CJ!
Calvin, call 9-1-1.
- Hello, 9-1-1?
We need emergency medical attention right now.
- Did someone call for a doctor?
- Yay!
- Dr. Lisa, thank goodness you're here.
- There's no time for an ambulance.
I'll have to do the surgery here.
Agh, I can't.
I hate the sight of blood.
- What?
- So you're gonna let a little blood stop you?
- It's everything else too.
I mean, I don't want to know
what the insides of people look like.
Gross.
- You know, there are other things you can be.
You don't have to go into the medical field.
- Like what?
I'm a grown-up and I don't know
what I want to be when I grow up.
- Even Peter Pan had a resume.
You gotta figure something out.
- That's right.
Because my house is not Never, Never Leave Land.
- So I could pick any major in that book?
- Yep, you can take every class in here if you would like.
- That's nice.
I mean, it's like a christmas wish list for grownups.
Well, just where do you see yourself in two years?
- If I worked at the Psychic Hotline, I can answer that.
- Okay, well, what else do you have to think about
in college, but your future?
- Drink, party, have some sex.
Well, that's why [unintelligible].
- Mmhmm.
- Malik, I want my money back.
All of it.
Books, room, board, the whole thing.
- Oh no, I wasn't talking about me.
That's what everybody else was doing.
I did my homework and read the Bible.
- I know you're lying, but it makes me feel good to hear it.
- Okay, listen, Lisa, just forget about the catalog.
Okay?
And just think about your future.
- Yeah, think about your future.
- Where my dinner at, woman?
- I'm making it as fast as I can.
- You better 'cause I need some loving.
The sooner you finish my food and cleaning this kitchen,
the sooner I can get dirty.
Come on, now.
- Babe, I've been thinking.
- Oh, you're doing that thinking stuff again?
I told you about that.
You'll get yourself in trouble.
- I don't mind cooking for you,
but maybe you can wash the dishes sometimes.
- And maybe you could do a little less talking
and a little more cooking.
Okay?
[burps]
Now look, I work and you take care of the household.
That was the deal. Okay?
I don't know what else you qualified to do
besides take care of your man and your babies.
- I could, I could--
- You could, you could, you could go in there
and stir that pot before something burns.
Now go on, get in there.
I mean, ain't no better job in taking care of your man.
This is in high demand.
So you better go on and get in there
before you get laid off.
[laughs]
- Lisa, I admire you for going to school
and trying to better yourself.
You're taking charge of your life
and not just waiting to see what's gonna happen.
- Absolutely.
- I also agree.
You're gonna have a great future.
- I still don't know what I want to be
or what I wanna do.
- Keep thinking.
You're good at winning arguments with Malik.
Maybe you could be a lawyer.
- A lawyer.
I demand the release of my client immediately
and expect a formal apology on my desk within 24 hours.
If not, I will beat you so badly in court,
they will need dental records to identify your body.
Bye.
- Stop playing, Curtis, stop playing.
- Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Payne.
- What's happening, baby?
Hey, we was just thinking about you.
I was thinking about you and wanted to say hi.
Hi.
- Are you okay? You seem nervous.
- ELLA: Nervous, who!?
I ain't do nothin'. Why you trippin'?
- It was self-defense.
- That's right.
- Why are you peepin' in the window?
Are you expecting somebody?
- Well, as a matter of fact, well, you see it, um,
might be a little company stop by to see Ella.
- Who?
- The police. - What?
- Yeah, the po-po.
One time. Five-oh.
- I know who the police are.
Why are they looking for Ms. Ella?
- See, uh, it was a little misunderstanding
down at the church, involving a pistol and a backslider.
Pop, pop.
Imma need a good lawyer.
I really need you to represent me.
You know how folks do people like us.
Mmm.
- That's what I do.
I protect innocent people and keep them out of jail.
- What about the guilty people?
- Excuse me?
- What about the guilty people?
- She's guilty like a naked man in a girl's locker room guilty.
- The worse thing is, mm, I kinda enjoyed it.
I could walk up and I could do it again.
- Killing people?
- Heck yeah!
Oh my god.
[shivers]
It gave me a rush.
- Calm down, baby.
You know how it get every time you get a new hobby.
You throw yourself into it and take up all your time.
Yesterday, it was needlepoint.
Today, it's homicide.
- Homicide? - Just this Aunty Ell',
I need to beat this rap.
- You just told me you would kill someone again.
- I'll do that. I'll do that.
- That is attorney/client privelege.
That means you can't say nothing to nobody.
- Pop, pop. - [police sirens]
- Pop, pop, pop, pop.
- What the hell?
- [unintelligible] - We all right. We got this.
- Okay.
- We got this, baby. - You got me or not?
C-c-come on, you got me or not?
- I,I,I,I--
I'm starting to think I don't want to get
guilty people out of jail.
- Well, baby, you got to decide on something.
- The quicker you decide, the faster you can start
learning new things.
- I know.
But I'm starting to think maybe college isn't for me.
- ♪
- Baby, uh, you might be overreacting.
- I don't think so.
- Yeah, I think you're stressing and you're not thinking clearly.
- I think I am.
I'm thinking clearer than cheap Tupperware.
- Wow!
This school has everything.
From aeronautics to cosmetology.
Oh, a veterinary technician.
Even general sciences.
- You know what, they actually are recruitting
more women to go into science.
- What? - Yeah.
- Me? A scientist?
- Boy, sit down.
You're gonna wear a hole in the floor.
- I'm worried about my dad.
I wish he hadn't volunteered for Lisa's science study.
- Lisa is the most brilliant scientist in the world.
Curtis is in good hands.
Woo-hoo-hoo.
Here they come. Here they come.
- Ah, Curtis.
Curtis, oh Curtis.
- See, I told you I'd bring Uncle Curtis back in one piece.
- [laughter]
- Curtis, how do you feel?
What are you wearing?
- Ella, I feel exquisite.
I'm a little fatigued from so much reading.
- Hey, Pops, you wanna watch the game?
- Maybe later, Son.
I'm excited to attend the Langston Hughes Symposium
which is downtown.
And then later I will go to the Marcus Garvey lecture,
which I've been invited to.
You must come, Son. Please attend with me.
- Lisa, what did you do to him?
I want my dad back.
- Uncle Curtis helped me complete
my intelligence suppository.
Once inserted, the user's intelligence quotient triples.
- I'm sorry, your intelligence what?
- Suppository.
After several clinical trials I found this delivery method
most efficient.
- So, you made him smarter
by sticking a pill up his dumb ass?
- No, no, Son.
I feel like I've only discovered that I have so much more life
left to yet discover.
- Yes.
- But you struck the proverbial nail on the head.
Once I opened my mind to the process,
I was transformed into this brilliant heap of humanity.
- Ah.
- That stands before you.
- Well, you a heap of something.
Can you please turn him back?
I want my old Curtis back.
- I'm sorry to disappoint y'all,
but I'm starting to think college isn't for me.
- They do have dental hygiene.
- There's nothing wrong with that.
I mean, a lot of successful people
don't go to college, nowadays.
- You told me I had to go to college.
- You're built differently, Son.
Lisa's got hustle in her blood.
- Well, what's in my blood?
- Don't, don't throw me a softball, Son.
Your self-esteem can't handle it.
Lisa, we support you.
Take your time.
Think about it, you know, before you make any decisions.
- Well, I know I'm gonna finish school.
No matter how long it takes or how much money it costs you.
- That's exactly what I'm afraid of.
- ♪
- Hey, Imma make a grilled cheese.
You want one? - Nah, I'm good.
I think I'm starting to become lactose intolerant.
Last time I ate dairy, it was like my ass
was a drive-by shooting.
- You know, I was sleeping next to you
and then I had a dream that Gabrielle Union was kissing me.
And then, the next minute I had a nightmare
that she was trying to choke me in a porta potty.
- So, you are creeping in your dreams.
- You serious?
- [laughs] I'm joking.
- Oh, whew.
I thought your crazy had reached a new level.
- My what?
- Oh, nothing. I didn't say nothing.
So, uh, this is really important to you, huh?
- This is just words on a piece of paper
with some pictures and it could change my life.
- Yeah.
- I wanna go to community college.
I wanna go to community college,
a four year college, get my PHd
and then get my masters.
- That's a little out of order but, I get you.
- You think like your dad?
That I can do whatever I want to?
- I really do.
As long as you have a strong support system
like this family, you can do anything.
- Thanks, Babe.
- You're welcome.
You know what?
You can do all of that and get a job and we've got your back.
- I don't want a job. I want a career.
I want to be somebody our kids can look up to.
- If you wanna go to college, I got you.
I support you 100 percent.
We'll make it work, baby.
- Thanks, babe.
- FEMALE: The male lion can mate up to 100 times a day.
- Damn, who's got that kind of time?
- FEMALE: The act of mating lasts only 17 seconds.
- Oh, they definitely talking about some young cats.
- Are you busy?
- Just looking at the lions do the unmentionable.
- [audience laughter]
- So, I been thinking.
- Alright.
Let's hear it.
- Okay.
I've been thinking and I'm terrified.
- It's called fear of the unknown.
- I just never had people like y'all in my life before.
- Crazy?
- Courageous.
- Oh.
I got four kids under my roof.
Two are grown and two are gremlins.
And my wife is the invisible woman.
- I was going to college to better my life
but y'all already doing that.
- So, you're not going?
- Oh, I'm going and I'm going strong.
And I'm not stopping until y'all calling me
Dr. Lisa Payne PhD, DDD,
MSBS, DJD,
EBT, BBD.
- Okay.
And I appreciate you wanting to get the whole alphabet in there.
Yes.
But, uh, let's, let's take it one step at a time.
- I will.
- And, uh, let me know what I can do.
You know, so that we can help.
- Well, since I'll be in school and Malik will be in school too,
we're gonna need Paw-paw to watch the baby, a lot.
- No.
- No?
- Absolutely not.
- Okay.
I'm sorry I asked.
- No one will ever call me Paw-Paw.
Now, my grandbaby, could call me Grandpop
when she's sitting on my lap, you know,
'cause that's what we do.
- Thanks, Mr. Payne.
- CJ: Yeah, and do me a favor.
- Anything.
- Don't graduate before Malik.
His self-esteem can't handle it.
- Okay.
- Thank you. He a little slow.
I mean, that's my guy, but he a little slow.
- ♪
- Hey, babe, how was work?
- [sighs] A businesswoman's work is never done.
If I have to buy low and sell high one more time.
- Well, your day is over,
my hard-working professional.
- Aw.
- Dinner is served. - Thanks, honey.
- You're welcome.
- Hello, darlings.
Greetings.
- Hello, Miranda. - Hello.
- How is the fur treating you?
- Oh, it is absolutely amazing.
I can't belive you grew this in a lab.
It feels so expensive.
- Well, we can aford it.
Who knew creating an app would make me
the richest woman in America?
- Right.
Who knew Tinder for Pets would take off the way it did,
and so many people have pets that just wanted to hook up?
- Ah, look at us.
Dad, would be so proud.
- Please, he's too busy enjoying the yacht
we bought him to care.
- [laughing]
- ♪
- Those kids are gonna be alright.
- ♪