1 00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:03,069 Thank again for breakfast, Mom. As usual, you did your thing. 2 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:04,971 You are welcome, baby. Thank you. 3 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,708 Yeah, Mrs. Payne, this breakfast was good as sh-- 4 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,443 -Hey, hey. -Oh... 5 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:13,012 -Excuse me? -No, I just wanted to say, 6 00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:14,647 thanks for having us over. 7 00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:16,082 [audience laughing] 8 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,485 You're welcome, but the having you over is not 9 00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,353 -what happened. -Yeah man, you kind of just 10 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:22,389 snuck in behind me when she opened the door. 11 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,891 Look man, it was either that or water and a cigarette 12 00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:25,992 for breakfast. 13 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:27,127 [audience laughing] 14 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,828 Hey Ma, have you talked to Miranda? 15 00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:32,132 -Not lately, why? -Well, she said she was coming 16 00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,467 -over with some big news. -Yeah, like what? 17 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,169 Is she giving you your manhood back? 18 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:38,872 Hey, man. My manhood has always 19 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,407 -been intact. -Not since you been 20 00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,776 with Miranda. That been long gone, buddy. 21 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,077 [audience laughing] 22 00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,546 -Are we friends? -I don't know. 23 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,314 You tell me. I don't never see you at 24 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,684 -Tito's $2 Tuesdays anymore. -Wait, is that the place that 25 00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:54,053 I've seen on the news with health violations? 26 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,189 Yep. Their roaches have roaches. 27 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,657 [audience laughing] 28 00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,526 It ain't even that bad, you're just not supposed to 29 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:02,762 get the spaghetti though. Those are not meatballs. 30 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:04,097 [audience laughing] 31 00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:06,032 Ew. Yeah, I'll pass. 32 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:08,802 Plus, I got to get Christian to school early in the morning. 33 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,137 I mean, come on man, we ain't even went home yet. 34 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:15,341 And plus, Tito is making his famous toilet wine and you know 35 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,243 it gets you higher than a mother-- 36 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,812 -Hey, yo, you know what? -Oh, sorry. 37 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,680 I think it's time for Peanut to get out of here. 38 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,015 -Yes it is. -I ain't even finish. 39 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,783 Come on, man. You just gonna leave eggs 40 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:26,553 on the plate? Y'all acting real different 41 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,087 -around here. -Mm-hmm, buh-bye. 42 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,223 [audience laughing] 43 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,459 -Really? -He's harmless. 44 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:35,762 -Really? -[Miranda] Hello. 45 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,197 -We're in here! 46 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,602 I smell menthols and malt liquor. 47 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,271 -Was Peanut here? -Yep. 48 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,706 [audience laughing] 49 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,642 -So, what's the big news? -OK, you remember I told you 50 00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:52,045 that my boss was being moved to the Western division? 51 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,848 -You got the promotion? -Yes, I did. 52 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,316 -That's what's up. -I did. 53 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,852 Congratulations. I knew all that hard work 54 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,688 -would pay off. -And it is paying off big. 55 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,891 I got a huge raise and I know exactly what I'm gonna do 56 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,293 -with the extra money. -Oh, you gonna buy me and 57 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:10,096 -Christian matching Jordan's? -Um, no. 58 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:14,701 But I am gonna enroll Christian in the Excelsior Institute. 59 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,103 -The posh private school? -[Miranda] Yes, that is the one. 60 00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,571 Wait, now wait a minute, 61 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:20,607 Christian is already in a good school. 62 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,609 They got me. I've been robbed. 63 00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,477 -Curtis, what is wrong, baby? -What? 64 00:02:46,512 --> 00:02:48,147 Baby, sit down. Maybe you need to sit down. 65 00:02:48,147 --> 00:02:50,416 -Ain't nobody got time for that. -Do we need to take him 66 00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:52,952 -to the hospital? -Him is standing right here. 67 00:02:52,952 --> 00:02:54,754 -[Ella] Curtis. -And him don't need to 68 00:02:54,754 --> 00:02:56,990 -see no doctor. -Sit or I will make you sit. 69 00:02:57,457 --> 00:03:00,059 -I can't move that good. -Well Pops, are you hurt? 70 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,395 I am. There's a great pain 71 00:03:02,395 --> 00:03:04,597 -in my chest. -Oh my goodness. 72 00:03:04,597 --> 00:03:06,266 -I'll call 911. -Jesus. 73 00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:08,368 Yes, my heart. I'm heartbroken. 74 00:03:08,368 --> 00:03:09,702 [audience laughing] 75 00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:12,605 OK, Curtis, are you metaphorically speaking 76 00:03:12,605 --> 00:03:13,740 -about chest pains? [audience laughing] 77 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:15,008 Well, duh. What else would I be doing? 78 00:03:16,576 --> 00:03:21,481 OK, Mr. Payne, Mr. Payne, what happened? 79 00:03:22,382 --> 00:03:25,852 OK... [audience laughing] 80 00:03:25,852 --> 00:03:27,687 -I woke up early. -Yes, you did. 81 00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:30,690 -I was reading on the toilet. -You know what? 82 00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:34,127 -Maybe skip ahead a little bit. -I was reading the newspaper, 83 00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:37,630 how there's been a string of break-ins and when I went 84 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:42,001 to my food truck this morning, it had been... defiled. 85 00:03:43,136 --> 00:03:45,638 OK, wait, defiled, you mean like graffitied? 86 00:03:45,638 --> 00:03:50,209 -No, no not graffiti. -OK Curtis, the windows broken? 87 00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:53,746 Tires flattened, doors kicked in? 88 00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:57,216 Oh God, no. The door was just 89 00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:59,118 -standing open. -OK, so did they 90 00:03:59,118 --> 00:04:03,523 -take your equipment? -They took something infinitely 91 00:04:03,523 --> 00:04:06,092 -more precious, Son. [audience laughing] 92 00:04:06,092 --> 00:04:09,429 OK, so if you got your food truck, you got your equipment, 93 00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:11,064 what could they possibly have taken? 94 00:04:12,065 --> 00:04:16,302 -My Hokie Pot. [audience laughing] 95 00:04:16,302 --> 00:04:22,175 -OK, wait, hold on. -Miranda... 96 00:04:22,175 --> 00:04:26,245 -What's a Hokie Pot? -Miranda, have you ever had 97 00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:31,718 anything that you loved in the world just stolen from you? 98 00:04:32,618 --> 00:04:35,455 [audience laughing] Well, I guess no. 99 00:04:35,788 --> 00:04:38,491 -Yes you have, Calvin. -Curtis. 100 00:04:38,491 --> 00:04:40,593 -Loretta. [audience laughing] 101 00:04:40,593 --> 00:04:42,562 -Who's Loretta? -He's talking about Laurie. 102 00:04:42,562 --> 00:04:44,630 He's talking about when Laurie took him from you. 103 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:47,133 -OK, OK, can we stop? -Ugh. 104 00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:50,069 A Hokie Pot ain't nothing but an old-fashioned CrockPot 105 00:04:50,069 --> 00:04:52,071 -from the '70s. -That pot belonged to 106 00:04:52,071 --> 00:04:55,842 my daddy, OK? He perfected his barbecue 107 00:04:55,842 --> 00:04:58,211 sauce in that pot and then he passed it on to me. 108 00:04:58,978 --> 00:05:01,781 Do you know how long it takes for the flavor to sear in? 109 00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:05,852 -My bad, Pop. -The goodness has been 110 00:05:05,852 --> 00:05:09,922 absorbing in that thing for decades, and decades, 111 00:05:09,922 --> 00:05:12,492 and decades. [audience laughing] 112 00:05:13,126 --> 00:05:16,462 Curtis, are you talking about that ring that's around the 113 00:05:16,462 --> 00:05:18,064 center of it, baby? 114 00:05:18,364 --> 00:05:20,066 I think that's mold. 115 00:05:20,066 --> 00:05:23,136 [laughing] 116 00:05:23,903 --> 00:05:28,007 -That's flavor, Ella. -OK, baby. 117 00:05:28,007 --> 00:05:30,676 Have you called the police to report it? 118 00:05:30,676 --> 00:05:33,579 Oh, no, no, no. I think it has to be missing 119 00:05:33,579 --> 00:05:35,748 for 24 hours before they put out an APB. 120 00:05:35,748 --> 00:05:38,651 Otherwise, they'll think it just took a walk somewhere. 121 00:05:38,651 --> 00:05:40,820 Wow. [laughing] 122 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:43,089 -I'm sorry. -It's OK, go ahead. 123 00:05:43,089 --> 00:05:47,160 -Laugh it up. -So listen, Mr. Payne, 124 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,263 -What are you gonna do? -I'ma call that Glowrilla. 125 00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:52,532 [audience laughing] 126 00:05:52,532 --> 00:05:54,767 And she's supposed to be the president of the 127 00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,603 neighborhood watch, which apparently, she obviously 128 00:05:57,603 --> 00:06:00,373 -ain't been watching sh-- -OK, Curtis, 129 00:06:00,373 --> 00:06:03,376 let me know what I can do to help. 130 00:06:03,376 --> 00:06:05,078 [music] 131 00:06:05,078 --> 00:06:08,481 OK, Christian is all set up. He is doing his homework. 132 00:06:08,915 --> 00:06:12,785 But listen, do not let him trick you into believing that 133 00:06:12,785 --> 00:06:14,821 he's ready for his language arts test, OK? 134 00:06:14,821 --> 00:06:18,157 Before bed, you need to quiz him on conjunctions, adverbs, 135 00:06:18,157 --> 00:06:20,326 -all of that. -All right, I got it. 136 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,930 Uh, before you leave, can we talk about earlier? 137 00:06:24,363 --> 00:06:27,233 -Yeah, about the Hokie Pot? -Oh no, I say good riddance 138 00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:31,370 to that fire hazard, yeah. No, I'm talking about this 139 00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:34,607 -whole private school thing. -Aren't you so excited? 140 00:06:34,607 --> 00:06:37,477 For me, not so much. We used to play the 141 00:06:37,477 --> 00:06:39,946 Excelsior Institute every year and they were always some 142 00:06:39,946 --> 00:06:43,116 pretentious, borderline racist jabronies. 143 00:06:43,516 --> 00:06:44,851 -What? -Losers. 144 00:06:44,851 --> 00:06:46,519 [audience laughing] 145 00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:51,891 Calvin, listen, things change. I have talked to so many alumni 146 00:06:51,891 --> 00:06:55,094 and they've had nothing but glowing reviews, not to mention 147 00:06:55,094 --> 00:06:58,431 it's one of the 50 best private schools in the country. 148 00:06:58,431 --> 00:07:00,800 You know, most of its graduates go on to Ivy League. 149 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,668 Yeah, yeah and you forgot to mention 150 00:07:02,668 --> 00:07:04,303 that most of the kids are white. 151 00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:08,474 -So? -So, don't you think Christian 152 00:07:08,474 --> 00:07:10,076 should, I don't know, at least 153 00:07:10,076 --> 00:07:12,411 see some students and educators of his 154 00:07:12,411 --> 00:07:14,046 -own background? -Of course. 155 00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:15,982 But I went to a mostly white school. 156 00:07:15,982 --> 00:07:18,751 OK, and I went to a mostly Black public school. 157 00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:21,420 So, what you saying? Your private school education 158 00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:22,889 -makes you better than me? -No. 159 00:07:23,589 --> 00:07:28,060 Listen Calvin, we both want what's best for our son, OK? 160 00:07:28,561 --> 00:07:31,631 All I'm asking is for you to have an open mind, that's it. 161 00:07:32,598 --> 00:07:33,799 Yeah. 162 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:38,905 For the thousandth time, H-O-K-I-E. 163 00:07:39,338 --> 00:07:43,509 -That's Hokie Pot. -[audience laughing] 164 00:07:43,509 --> 00:07:45,044 What do you mean, what do I expect? 165 00:07:45,044 --> 00:07:48,381 I expect you to do your job and go find the degenerates that 166 00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:50,783 took my stuff. What? 167 00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:54,120 Take a chill pill? How about I come down there 168 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,222 -and stick that pill up your-- -Curtis! 169 00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:59,325 You're lucky my wife just came up in here. 170 00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:02,929 I tell you, you gonna find my doggone pot. 171 00:08:02,929 --> 00:08:06,132 How about that? I swear I'll come down there. 172 00:08:06,132 --> 00:08:07,833 I promise you, I'll be down there. 173 00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:10,636 What? I wish I could... 174 00:08:10,636 --> 00:08:12,138 -Curtis, give me this. -I got to slam it. 175 00:08:12,138 --> 00:08:13,673 -I got to slam it. -Give me it. 176 00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:15,241 I hate these phones. 177 00:08:15,241 --> 00:08:16,409 [audience laughing] 178 00:08:18,311 --> 00:08:22,415 -What is the matter with you? -I'm fine. 179 00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:24,650 -OK, good, baby. -You're right, baby. 180 00:08:25,184 --> 00:08:27,787 -You're right. -Seen the light. 181 00:08:27,787 --> 00:08:30,122 Yeah, now they gonna know I'm coming down there. 182 00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:33,960 Curtis, listen to me. Take a breath. 183 00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:37,063 Take a sip. Take a chill pill. 184 00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:45,738 -Are you sure you're OK? -I'm fine, Ella, I'm fine. 185 00:08:46,138 --> 00:08:50,376 Well, you're acting really agitated, Curtis, going off on 186 00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:54,413 everybody, threatening violence and making accusations 187 00:08:54,413 --> 00:08:58,718 left and right. Earlier, Curtis, you said to 188 00:08:58,718 --> 00:09:01,187 the mailman, "Are you casing out the house?" 189 00:09:01,187 --> 00:09:03,356 He was dropping off the mail. [audience laughing] 190 00:09:03,356 --> 00:09:07,226 -Total paranoia, baby. -Just because I'm paranoid 191 00:09:07,226 --> 00:09:09,195 doesn't mean I'm not right, Ella. 192 00:09:10,162 --> 00:09:12,098 OK, now I'm finally seeing things clear. 193 00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:15,935 OK, if somebody can come and steal from my business, 194 00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:18,638 then what's to stop them from coming in my house, huh? 195 00:09:18,638 --> 00:09:21,907 Nobody is coming into your house. 196 00:09:22,441 --> 00:09:23,709 [doorbell ringing] 197 00:09:23,709 --> 00:09:26,846 Who was that? Stay out, I'm packing heat. 198 00:09:29,348 --> 00:09:30,783 [music] 199 00:09:33,295 --> 00:09:35,063 Ooh! 200 00:09:35,063 --> 00:09:37,933 The only heat you got is that fire wind blowing from 201 00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:40,402 -your mouth. -Oh, it's only you. 202 00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:43,472 What you got in the box, a cauldron? 203 00:09:43,472 --> 00:09:44,940 [audience laughing] 204 00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,976 Curtis, I told Glow to come on in when she got here, 205 00:09:47,976 --> 00:09:49,945 with the box. Baby, get it from her. 206 00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:51,880 -Don't it look heavy? -She look like she doing 207 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,382 pretty good with it, Ella. [audience laughing] 208 00:09:53,382 --> 00:09:54,950 -Come on, baby. -Put it over here. 209 00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:57,686 -Put it right there. -Glow, would you care for 210 00:09:57,686 --> 00:09:59,721 -some water, tea? -A chew toy? 211 00:09:59,721 --> 00:10:01,556 [audience laughing] [Ella] Curtis! 212 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:04,159 I'll take some water. Thank you. 213 00:10:04,993 --> 00:10:07,529 Glow, tell Curtis what's in the box. 214 00:10:08,296 --> 00:10:12,200 They're flood lights. Ella said your food truck 215 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,505 had a spot of trouble. If your customers get a good 216 00:10:16,505 --> 00:10:19,307 look at what they're actually eating, you might not 217 00:10:19,307 --> 00:10:22,411 -sell another cow. -She had them leftover, baby, 218 00:10:22,411 --> 00:10:24,613 from the event that they had down the street. 219 00:10:25,514 --> 00:10:27,082 -Here you go. -You sure you don't need them 220 00:10:27,082 --> 00:10:28,717 -to put your makeup on? [audience laughing] 221 00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:31,887 -Say thank you. -Ella, what? 222 00:10:31,887 --> 00:10:37,159 -Tell her thank you. -[mumbles incoherently] 223 00:10:39,094 --> 00:10:41,096 -Thank you. -Say what now? 224 00:10:41,096 --> 00:10:43,131 -Thank you. [audience laughing] 225 00:10:43,131 --> 00:10:44,800 See? Now that wasn't so hard. 226 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,903 Now, Curtis, what can I do for you? 227 00:10:47,903 --> 00:10:51,239 -You said it was urgent. -It is urgent and what 228 00:10:51,239 --> 00:10:53,508 you can do is you can do something about the riffraff 229 00:10:53,508 --> 00:10:55,243 that's running around in the neighborhood. 230 00:10:55,243 --> 00:10:58,880 Nu-uh, there is no riffraff on my streets. 231 00:10:59,514 --> 00:11:03,552 -Have you talked to the police? -Well, let's just say they're 232 00:11:03,552 --> 00:11:07,989 -less than useful. -Well, Glow, Curtis really 233 00:11:07,989 --> 00:11:10,392 would want you to keep your ear to the ground. 234 00:11:10,392 --> 00:11:14,129 -Maybe somebody saw something. -Yeah, maybe you could go 235 00:11:14,129 --> 00:11:16,998 and sniff around down at the truck like a good hound dog. 236 00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,333 [audience laughing] 237 00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:19,801 -Did you just call me a bitch? -Ah! 238 00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:24,005 -No, I called you a female dog. -Yeah, that's a bitch. 239 00:11:24,005 --> 00:11:25,874 -Uh... -No, I thought it, 240 00:11:25,874 --> 00:11:27,943 I didn't say it. She said it. 241 00:11:27,943 --> 00:11:30,545 Nobody wants to come anywhere near that torture 242 00:11:30,545 --> 00:11:33,582 lab on wheels. Besides, Ella said nothing was 243 00:11:33,582 --> 00:11:37,619 stolen and there's no damage. Are you sure you didn't get 244 00:11:37,619 --> 00:11:40,622 choked up on meat fumes and forget to lock the door? 245 00:11:41,223 --> 00:11:44,860 Curtis, be nice. ♪ You need something from her ♪ 246 00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:46,061 [audience laughing] 247 00:11:46,061 --> 00:11:48,230 No, I didn't forget to lock the door. 248 00:11:48,697 --> 00:11:49,898 -Mm-hmm. -OK? 249 00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:54,035 Somebody just took something very precious to me out of 250 00:11:54,035 --> 00:11:56,004 -that thing. -What? 251 00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:59,474 My Hokie Pot. [audience laughing] 252 00:12:00,075 --> 00:12:04,146 -Wait, did you say Hokie Pot? -Yes, I did. 253 00:12:05,914 --> 00:12:08,650 I...I remember those. Ceramic? 254 00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:11,353 -Yeah. -Three heat settings? 255 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,656 -Yes, yeah that's it. -Piece of trash? 256 00:12:14,656 --> 00:12:17,526 Yes. No, how dare you. 257 00:12:17,526 --> 00:12:19,594 [laughing] And cut. 258 00:12:20,595 --> 00:12:25,734 Curtis, hush, Glow, can you help? 259 00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:28,303 I'll do my best, but Curtis, you need to step into 260 00:12:28,303 --> 00:12:31,306 the 21st century. My mother had a Hokie Pot when 261 00:12:31,306 --> 00:12:34,476 -I was a child. -I don't think they even had 262 00:12:34,476 --> 00:12:38,580 Hokie Pots in colonial days. [audience laughing] 263 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:40,815 -Oh, I don't like you. -And I don't like you more. 264 00:12:40,815 --> 00:12:42,717 [audience laughing] 265 00:12:43,885 --> 00:12:45,287 -Good morning, Mom. -Hey baby. 266 00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:49,824 -Thank you. -Pops, you're not gonna believe 267 00:12:49,824 --> 00:12:51,560 what Miranda is planning on doing. 268 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,762 Well, does it help find my Hokie Pot? 269 00:12:54,362 --> 00:12:56,231 -No. -Then I don't care. 270 00:12:56,231 --> 00:12:57,632 [audience laughing] 271 00:12:57,632 --> 00:13:02,537 -Isn't she your ex-wife? -She may be his ex-wife, but 272 00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:06,474 she's still Christian's mom. Does this have anything to do 273 00:13:06,474 --> 00:13:10,011 with Miranda sending him to that Excelsior school? 274 00:13:10,011 --> 00:13:11,279 -Yes. -I figured. 275 00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:13,248 I saw you before your dad came in. 276 00:13:13,748 --> 00:13:17,319 I mean, am I crazy? Having the Excelsior Institute 277 00:13:17,319 --> 00:13:20,255 on Christian's transcripts is definitely gonna give him 278 00:13:20,255 --> 00:13:22,791 a foot in to any Ivy League school, I get it, but... 279 00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:25,327 There are some things he's gonna miss out on too. 280 00:13:25,327 --> 00:13:27,329 -I get it. -Well, I don't. 281 00:13:28,263 --> 00:13:31,733 -So you agree with Miranda? -If there's a choice between 282 00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:36,805 my grandson going to a great, private school or a school full 283 00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:40,675 of misfit Hokie Pot snatchers, I choose the private school. 284 00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:43,278 Christian already goes to a great school. 285 00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:46,648 He goes to the same elementary school Calvin went to. 286 00:13:46,648 --> 00:13:48,883 And Calvin's an idiot. [audience laughing] 287 00:13:48,883 --> 00:13:50,185 Curtis. 288 00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:51,953 Uh, I'm right here. [audience laughing] 289 00:13:51,953 --> 00:13:56,191 Son, come on now, you know I'm playing with you when I do 290 00:13:56,191 --> 00:13:57,826 -stuff like that, right? -Yeah. 291 00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:00,362 [audience laughing] 292 00:14:02,297 --> 00:14:05,600 Anyway, Christian's school has been a part of this 293 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,671 neighborhood for generations. This community is invested 294 00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:12,607 in its success. We know most of the teachers. 295 00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:16,144 You know, Mom is right. I mean, these are people we've 296 00:14:16,144 --> 00:14:18,113 known for years. Miranda just thinks I'm being 297 00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:20,015 complacent about Christian's education. 298 00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:23,451 Well Calvin, why don't you just explain to her what all of it 299 00:14:23,451 --> 00:14:27,055 means to you personally and stop criticizing 300 00:14:27,055 --> 00:14:28,490 the private school? 301 00:14:28,490 --> 00:14:31,660 [music] 302 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:32,627 You got a point. 303 00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,562 [music] 304 00:14:34,562 --> 00:14:39,334 Ah, there you are. Awww, Curtis, it's good 305 00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:43,138 -to see you relaxing. -Yeah, I thought about what 306 00:14:43,138 --> 00:14:46,441 you said, baby. And then the fact that I 307 00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:50,945 -almost shot Glow. -With the non-existent gun. 308 00:14:50,945 --> 00:14:52,280 [audience laughing] 309 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,416 Yeah, it's the thought that counts. 310 00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:59,888 Well, some would say it's the bullets, but I see where 311 00:14:59,888 --> 00:15:02,424 -you're coming from. -I'm just trying to get to the 312 00:15:02,424 --> 00:15:05,060 principle of the matter, Ella. That Hokie Pot belonged 313 00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:10,432 to my dad and it reminded me of times I spent with him when 314 00:15:10,432 --> 00:15:12,300 he was teaching me the art of barbecue. 315 00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:16,204 Well, Curtis, no one can take your memories, baby. 316 00:15:16,538 --> 00:15:18,239 -That's right. -They can't. 317 00:15:19,507 --> 00:15:22,010 But I tell you what, it's kind of frustrating to think that 318 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,012 someone would steal from me here. 319 00:15:24,512 --> 00:15:27,182 Ain't nothing I wouldn't... Nothing I wouldn't do for the 320 00:15:27,182 --> 00:15:28,650 -people of this community. -I know it. 321 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:29,651 [knocking] 322 00:15:29,651 --> 00:15:32,187 It made me angry, but you know what? 323 00:15:32,187 --> 00:15:33,988 -What? -I'm gonna let my better 324 00:15:33,988 --> 00:15:35,390 -nature shine through. -Mm. 325 00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:38,226 I'm gonna be the bigger man. I'm gonna go high when 326 00:15:38,226 --> 00:15:39,894 -they go low. -Yes. 327 00:15:40,895 --> 00:15:43,531 -Hey. -And speaking of low. 328 00:15:43,531 --> 00:15:45,333 -Curtis. -[audience laughing] 329 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,737 Your better nature. Come on in, Glow. 330 00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:51,740 -Thank you. -So, did you find out anything? 331 00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:56,211 Well, I asked around the whole neighborhood and I couldn't 332 00:15:56,211 --> 00:16:00,014 find not one person interested in your barbecue. 333 00:16:00,749 --> 00:16:04,185 And the devil is a liar. And I mean that literally. 334 00:16:04,686 --> 00:16:07,956 Fine, fine. People do like your flesh 335 00:16:07,956 --> 00:16:11,059 dinners, but nobody's heard anything about your Hokie Pot. 336 00:16:11,526 --> 00:16:13,995 And the streets are quiet, as they've always been. 337 00:16:14,496 --> 00:16:16,631 -Hmm. -So Curtis, I guess you just 338 00:16:16,631 --> 00:16:18,400 need to buy yourself a new funky pot. 339 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,435 [audience laughing] 340 00:16:20,435 --> 00:16:23,972 -Did she say funky pot? -Curtis, be the bigger man. 341 00:16:23,972 --> 00:16:26,040 -She said funky pot. -Bigger man. 342 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:27,675 She called it a funky pot, though. 343 00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:30,779 Yeah, OK, see, I know what this is, though. 344 00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:34,315 -This is sabotage, baby. -Sabotage? 345 00:16:34,315 --> 00:16:35,917 Are you accusing me of something? 346 00:16:35,917 --> 00:16:38,853 Yes, you beast master. [audience laughing] 347 00:16:38,853 --> 00:16:42,390 Oh, come on Glow, admit it. You ain't never liked 348 00:16:42,390 --> 00:16:43,958 my business. You've always been trying 349 00:16:43,958 --> 00:16:47,695 -to run me out of town. -How dare you speak to me 350 00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:50,498 -like that, you old goat. [audience laughing] 351 00:16:50,498 --> 00:16:52,834 Well, you're the one with the beard. 352 00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:53,968 -What? -How about that? 353 00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:55,370 -Ooh... -Ooh nothing. 354 00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:57,305 -I can't stand you. -And I can't stand you. 355 00:16:57,305 --> 00:16:59,240 -OK, everybody. -[Curtis] How about that? 356 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,143 All right, everybody, calm down. 357 00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:03,578 [knocking] 358 00:17:04,012 --> 00:17:06,948 -Mr. And Mrs. Payne? -Hokie! 359 00:17:06,948 --> 00:17:08,149 [audience laughing] 360 00:17:08,149 --> 00:17:11,286 Get out of the way. Give me Hokie. 361 00:17:12,387 --> 00:17:14,155 What are you doing with my Hokie Pot? 362 00:17:14,689 --> 00:17:17,926 Man, I was out at Tito's late the other night and you know, 363 00:17:17,926 --> 00:17:19,861 -they got the little $2-- -Wait, Tito's is still open? 364 00:17:19,861 --> 00:17:21,663 Oh yeah, they still open. You know they got the 365 00:17:21,663 --> 00:17:24,165 -$2 Toilet Wine Tuesdays. -They still got the 366 00:17:24,165 --> 00:17:26,067 -Toilet Wine Tuesdays? -Yeah, yeah. 367 00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:28,169 Is Wednesday Carleen still there? 368 00:17:28,169 --> 00:17:29,737 Yeah, she's still doing the body shots. 369 00:17:29,737 --> 00:17:31,673 Oh, I know they drip it low there. 370 00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:33,808 Oh yeah, you know it. You already know. 371 00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:38,012 Yeah, oh yeah, I, um... You know, I was a little 372 00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:40,181 messed up and I decided to sleep it off in your 373 00:17:40,181 --> 00:17:44,519 food truck and I guess you must have left it unlocked and... 374 00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:46,955 I threw up in that old pot too. So you might want to... 375 00:17:46,955 --> 00:17:49,624 I hosed it out before I brought it back, but you might want 376 00:17:49,624 --> 00:17:51,993 to hit it with some bleach. [audience laughing] 377 00:17:51,993 --> 00:17:55,263 Baby, go high. Go high. 378 00:17:55,263 --> 00:17:56,464 Go high? I got high before 379 00:17:56,464 --> 00:17:57,999 I came over here. Y'all be getting down 380 00:17:57,999 --> 00:17:59,601 like that? I didn't know y'all-- 381 00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:01,603 Peanut, shut up. You've done enough. 382 00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:03,004 Thank you. [audience laughing] 383 00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:06,407 Excuse me. [audience laughing] 384 00:18:06,407 --> 00:18:07,609 It's still good. 385 00:18:07,609 --> 00:18:08,910 [music] 386 00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:14,165 OK, Christian is all settled. But please remember to give him 387 00:18:14,165 --> 00:18:17,469 a teaspoon every four hours, just like the doctor asked, OK? 388 00:18:17,469 --> 00:18:20,572 -Got it. -Also, you know, sometimes 389 00:18:20,572 --> 00:18:22,373 he doesn't like the taste of medicine. 390 00:18:22,373 --> 00:18:24,275 He may fight you on it. Give him a little juice. 391 00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:25,877 -I got it. -You could bribe him 392 00:18:25,877 --> 00:18:28,246 -with lollipops if you need to. -You do realize I've done this 393 00:18:28,246 --> 00:18:30,315 -before, right? [audience laughing] 394 00:18:30,315 --> 00:18:32,784 -Yes. -Look, before you leave, 395 00:18:32,784 --> 00:18:35,286 can we continue this school conversation, please? 396 00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:39,424 -Absolutely, we need to. -Cool, have a seat. 397 00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:46,965 -Bla-dow, turn to page 16. -What is this? 398 00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:50,902 You know, I realize I didn't do a good job getting my point 399 00:18:50,902 --> 00:18:53,938 across yesterday. And I definitely didn't listen 400 00:18:53,938 --> 00:18:58,209 -to you with an open mind. -Wait, is this you? 401 00:18:58,543 --> 00:19:00,912 -Yep. -What happened to your hair? 402 00:19:00,912 --> 00:19:02,180 [audience laughing] 403 00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:04,315 I was playing Fredrick Douglas in the school play. 404 00:19:04,315 --> 00:19:06,050 They wouldn't let you have lotion either? 405 00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:07,519 [audience laughing] 406 00:19:07,519 --> 00:19:09,020 -You know what? -I'm just kidding. 407 00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:10,188 I'm kidding. 408 00:19:11,022 --> 00:19:13,992 But that was the same stage that Christian just walked 409 00:19:13,992 --> 00:19:16,628 across to get his medal for the principal's list. 410 00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:19,330 -Wow. -And this guy? 411 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:21,099 -Yeah? -That's Mr. Buchanan. 412 00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:24,068 -Mr. Buchanan? -My second grade teacher. 413 00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:25,870 -That was Christian's... -Third grade teacher. 414 00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:27,772 -...third grade teacher. -Cool dude. 415 00:19:28,173 --> 00:19:30,909 He made learning about Black history fun for us. 416 00:19:30,909 --> 00:19:33,745 -Wow. -And this. 417 00:19:33,745 --> 00:19:35,947 -Uh-huh? -That's Mrs. Adams. 418 00:19:35,947 --> 00:19:38,583 She was hired as the school receptionist when I was in 419 00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:39,684 -the fourth grade. -Oh my goodness. 420 00:19:39,684 --> 00:19:42,320 -She's just now retiring. -What? 421 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,690 -She was so young. -Yeah, my point is, 422 00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:49,894 I know these people. We prayed together in church on 423 00:19:49,894 --> 00:19:54,499 Sundays, went to school together, block parties. 424 00:19:55,733 --> 00:19:59,137 I had a great childhood, and I know this school has 425 00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:02,440 -something to do with it. -Calvin, why didn't you 426 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,176 -tell me this before? -Look, I know that the 427 00:20:05,176 --> 00:20:09,547 Excelsior Institute will give Christian a great education. 428 00:20:10,415 --> 00:20:12,317 I also know that he's getting that now. 429 00:20:12,317 --> 00:20:13,551 Yeah. 430 00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:14,986 And an important sense of community. 431 00:20:18,122 --> 00:20:19,390 Understood. 432 00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:22,160 And I was also thinking I should give the 433 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,428 Excelsior Institute... 434 00:20:23,428 --> 00:20:24,796 -A chance? -A chance. 435 00:20:24,796 --> 00:20:27,098 -Yeah. -Before judging it. 436 00:20:27,665 --> 00:20:30,902 Thank you for that. I appreciate that. 437 00:20:31,836 --> 00:20:35,506 Like you said, things can and do change. 438 00:20:36,374 --> 00:20:40,511 They do. So, what I would like to do 439 00:20:40,511 --> 00:20:45,850 is how about we set up a tour so that we can make 440 00:20:45,850 --> 00:20:48,920 -an informed decision? -I like that. 441 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,789 [music] 442 00:20:51,789 --> 00:20:52,523 OK. 443 00:20:52,523 --> 00:20:54,058 [music] 444 00:21:17,768 --> 00:21:19,537 [music] 445 00:21:23,774 --> 00:21:25,643 [music] 446 00:21:26,944 --> 00:21:27,945 [music]