1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,570
What's up, sheeple?
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:07,707
It's your g-g-g-g-g-g-girl,
Lisa Love
3
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:09,275
on your timeline.
4
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:15,281
By the end of the day?!
5
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,417
That's impossible!
6
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:22,021
The, the help center is not
going to survive
7
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,623
without that grant!
8
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,191
What's good, sheeple?!
9
00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:28,194
What's popping, sheeple?
10
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:33,867
I said,
I will do the best I can!
11
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,268
Thank you.
12
00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:37,437
[groans]
13
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,508
Mrs. Payne, let me get your
advice real quick.
14
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,276
What you think of
these catch phrases?
15
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,078
What's up, sheeple?
16
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,414
What's popping, sheeple?!
17
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:52,085
Uh, Lisa, I think you need to
just use subscripts
18
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,887
for whatever it is
that you're doing.
19
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,222
And what is Sheeple?
20
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,092
Sheep plus people, get it?
21
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,493
'Cause they follow me.
22
00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:03,163
It's like kind of biblical,
don't you think?
23
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:06,766
Well, I think you're
mispronouncing blasphemous.
24
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:12,071
How many people
are following you?
25
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:13,706
10,000.
26
00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:18,077
And why are 10,000 sheeple
following you?
27
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,213
'Cause I was pretty popular at
my previous job.
28
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:21,748
[chuckles]
29
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,251
Yeah, now we know why
Little Bo Peep lost her sheep,
30
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,753
'cause they crazy.
31
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,523
That's good.
32
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:34,461
I should change my handle to
your girl, Little Bo Peep.
33
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:37,430
-Lisa...
-Hey!
34
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,900
It's your girl, Lil' Bo Peep!
35
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,302
What you think?
36
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,804
Lisa, I think that I don't have
time for this.
37
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,306
I'm in a crisis.
38
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:51,911
If I don't get 75 new
applicants today
39
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:55,281
the help center's not gonna get
our grant matched.
40
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,650
Well, how many
do you have so far?
41
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:03,356
Well, okay, the woman who thinks
that the help center
42
00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:07,794
is a skating rink for the ghost
of Martin Luther King Sr.
43
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,364
Including her, one.
44
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,133
You should make a video.
45
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,237
There is no way in the world
I'm going to put Skating Sally
46
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,172
on a video.
47
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,641
-Not of her, of you.
-Of me?
48
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,110
You know, appeal to the women so
they register.
49
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:29,349
And how would I
put them on TV?
50
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:33,119
Mrs. Payne,
this is the 21st century,
51
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,621
everything you need
is on your phone.
52
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,223
That thing?
53
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,225
Really?
54
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:42,495
Okay, maybe not that phone.
55
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,832
You need a new phone
and burn that one.
56
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:50,403
Oh, is that what they mean when
they say burner phone?
57
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,907
They tell me that all the time,
burner phone, burner phone.
58
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,242
I'm in Jurassic Park.
59
00:03:19,429 --> 00:03:21,632
So, you ready, Mrs. Payne?
60
00:03:21,632 --> 00:03:25,636
Ooh, I'm not used to everybody
making a fuss over me.
61
00:03:26,637 --> 00:03:28,872
But I could get used to this!
62
00:03:28,872 --> 00:03:30,207
Thank you, Harmony,
thank you, Spice.
63
00:03:30,207 --> 00:03:32,676
Yes, Queen!
64
00:03:32,676 --> 00:03:34,244
Okay.
65
00:03:34,244 --> 00:03:35,379
You see you?
66
00:03:35,379 --> 00:03:36,647
I see you, I see you.
67
00:03:36,647 --> 00:03:38,482
-You see me?
- I see you.
68
00:03:38,482 --> 00:03:42,519
Well, I really can't see you
'cause these bushes
69
00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:45,422
on my eyelids.
70
00:03:45,422 --> 00:03:47,191
You look amazing, Mrs. Payne.
71
00:03:47,191 --> 00:03:48,525
[grunts]
72
00:03:48,525 --> 00:03:50,661
You're gonna have plenty of
clout in no time.
73
00:03:50,661 --> 00:03:52,963
What should I do with the clout?
74
00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:56,900
Sell it and use the funds
for the help center!
75
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,603
This is gonna be
harder than I thought.
76
00:03:59,603 --> 00:04:04,408
Um, first we'll come up with a
catch phrase for you.
77
00:04:04,408 --> 00:04:06,210
Why do I need that?
78
00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:09,146
-Merch!
-Ah!
79
00:04:09,146 --> 00:04:10,581
Is that French?
80
00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:13,283
It's English for money.
81
00:04:13,283 --> 00:04:14,651
Merch, merchandise.
82
00:04:14,651 --> 00:04:17,921
-Oh!
-Hoodies, t-shirts, stickers.
83
00:04:17,921 --> 00:04:19,856
You put your catchphrase on it,
you make some money.
84
00:04:19,856 --> 00:04:22,693
I don't know if I need that.
85
00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:25,662
What the help is going on?!
86
00:04:25,662 --> 00:04:27,998
Huh, woo,
you like that one, huh?
87
00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:29,066
[chuckling]
88
00:04:29,066 --> 00:04:32,035
And what can I catch with that
phrase?
89
00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:33,437
You know what?
90
00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,739
You're right, that's too long.
91
00:04:37,307 --> 00:04:40,043
Maybe this one...
92
00:04:40,043 --> 00:04:41,745
Queens stand up!
93
00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:48,952
Well, can I sit down
and go viral?
94
00:04:50,187 --> 00:04:51,955
-It's just an expression.
-Oh.
95
00:04:52,789 --> 00:04:54,024
[beep]
96
00:04:55,792 --> 00:05:01,698
Queens, would you do me a favor
today and stand up?
97
00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:03,267
No, no, stop, stop, stop.
98
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:04,701
-Please.
-Stop.
99
00:05:04,701 --> 00:05:06,570
Mrs. Payne, I need energy.
100
00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:09,573
I need you to be infectious!
101
00:05:09,573 --> 00:05:11,708
I need you to connect
with the audience.
102
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:14,244
Stand up, Queens!
103
00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:15,379
Louder!
104
00:05:15,379 --> 00:05:17,914
Queens, stand up!
105
00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:19,316
More energy!
106
00:05:19,316 --> 00:05:23,720
♪ Queeeeens stand up ♪
107
00:05:25,422 --> 00:05:27,224
That's it.
108
00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:29,026
Keep going
109
00:05:29,026 --> 00:05:32,596
♪ Where, where, where, where,
where are you my Queens ♪
110
00:05:32,596 --> 00:05:34,665
♪ Queens, stand up ♪
111
00:05:34,665 --> 00:05:36,667
♪ Where my Queens at ♪
112
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:40,203
-[phone dinging]
-What's that?
113
00:05:40,203 --> 00:05:41,571
You got a like.
114
00:05:41,571 --> 00:05:42,806
I did?
115
00:05:42,806 --> 00:05:44,174
That's easy, thank you.
116
00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:45,242
Thank you, Queens!
117
00:05:45,242 --> 00:05:46,476
Mwah, mwah, mwah, thank you!
118
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,844
Thank you so much!
119
00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:50,447
How do I get them to register?
120
00:05:50,447 --> 00:05:51,982
Say link in bio.
121
00:05:51,982 --> 00:05:53,350
Link in bio...
122
00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:55,052
I know that's French.
123
00:05:55,052 --> 00:05:57,521
And link in bio!
124
00:05:57,521 --> 00:06:00,357
Link in bio everybody!
125
00:06:00,357 --> 00:06:01,692
It's a link to register.
126
00:06:01,692 --> 00:06:03,226
Calvin set it up for you.
127
00:06:03,226 --> 00:06:04,294
Thank you, Calvin.
128
00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:05,929
[phone dinging]
129
00:06:05,929 --> 00:06:08,398
-More likes?
-And comments.
130
00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:09,766
And comments?
131
00:06:09,766 --> 00:06:11,134
Wait, check this out.
132
00:06:11,134 --> 00:06:15,639
So at Crown and Queen says,
"What's up, Queen?
133
00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:17,474
"She's hilarious."
134
00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:18,675
-I'm hilarious?
-You're hilarious.
135
00:06:18,675 --> 00:06:21,111
You hilarious!
136
00:06:21,978 --> 00:06:23,714
Now hit 'em with your message.
137
00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:25,949
Tell 'em all about the help
center and what you need.
138
00:06:25,949 --> 00:06:29,119
Okay, ooh, but first can I tell
'em something else?
139
00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:30,587
What's that?
140
00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:34,191
Queens, where you at?
141
00:06:34,191 --> 00:06:37,728
Queens, hey Queens!
142
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:42,933
♪ Where my Queens, Queens at ♪
143
00:06:45,335 --> 00:06:47,738
Pops, what's going on,
what's the emergency?
144
00:06:47,738 --> 00:06:49,172
-Hey, hey--
-Feeling okay?
145
00:06:49,172 --> 00:06:51,041
Yeah, I'm fine.
146
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,209
Hey, look here.
147
00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:53,944
I need you to tell me which
flyer you like,
148
00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:58,148
the one with just me or the one
with me and the barbecue sauce.
149
00:07:00,517 --> 00:07:04,287
Pops, you called me over here
early this morning for this?
150
00:07:04,287 --> 00:07:06,757
Since you here, which one?
151
00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:10,360
Well, it's about the brand
so I say...
152
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,496
I know, the one with just me.
153
00:07:12,496 --> 00:07:13,830
I was thinking the same thing.
154
00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:16,099
No, I was gonna say
you and the sauce.
155
00:07:16,099 --> 00:07:18,668
People are buying the sauce,
not the person.
156
00:07:18,668 --> 00:07:20,837
Sell the sauce, not the person.
157
00:07:20,837 --> 00:07:22,906
That's marketing 1-0-1.
158
00:07:22,906 --> 00:07:26,810
Yeah, says the man who took six
years to get a four-year degree.
159
00:07:27,778 --> 00:07:29,546
I'm going back home and to bed.
160
00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:31,014
Wait, wait, wait a minute, son.
161
00:07:31,014 --> 00:07:34,351
Come here, come here, come here.
162
00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:37,320
I need you to help me
hashtag this, come on.
163
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,588
We gotta hashtag it.
164
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:39,990
You mean make it go viral?
165
00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:42,826
No, I'm not trying to
get nobody sick.
166
00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:45,228
What you giving out viruses for?
167
00:07:45,228 --> 00:07:46,596
What's wrong with you?
168
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,565
Pops, you can't just say you
want to be a trending topic
169
00:07:48,565 --> 00:07:51,067
and it happens, you need a
social media campaign for that.
170
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:52,736
I mean, it has to be
targeted and aimed
171
00:07:52,736 --> 00:07:54,671
to your intended audience.
172
00:07:54,671 --> 00:07:58,275
Okay, my audience is
people with teeth.
173
00:07:58,275 --> 00:08:01,445
Even though my Que is it's
tender enough
174
00:08:01,445 --> 00:08:05,816
that you can suck it through a
straw, you heard me?
175
00:08:05,816 --> 00:08:08,585
Give me the flyer.
176
00:08:08,585 --> 00:08:10,287
Here's that one.
177
00:08:10,287 --> 00:08:13,056
Uh, this is the flyer?
178
00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:16,159
What did you make this with,
magic marker and misery?
179
00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:19,062
This looks like something that
Calvin Jr did when he was three.
180
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:23,733
Okay, are you here to help or
are you gonna just keep hating?
181
00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:26,036
Look Pops, if you really want to
make a splash
182
00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:29,105
post something funny with you
and your sauce.
183
00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:31,675
Now, I'll come back and help you
with the camera later.
184
00:08:31,675 --> 00:08:34,010
Oh, see now you're on the team!
185
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,313
Now you're on the team, that's
my boy!
186
00:08:36,313 --> 00:08:38,648
Listen to your followers'
requests, they love
187
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,050
when you engage with them.
188
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:43,353
You know, you need something
funny like a story.
189
00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:45,889
Oh okay, I can tell them, I can
tell them about
190
00:08:45,889 --> 00:08:49,025
when you thought your nipple was
a pimple.
191
00:08:49,025 --> 00:08:51,561
No Pops, something
quick and dirty like,
192
00:08:51,561 --> 00:08:53,697
we need a short video.
193
00:08:53,697 --> 00:08:55,198
Short vid...
194
00:08:55,198 --> 00:08:57,868
Oh, you know I got some VHS of
me and your momma.
195
00:08:57,868 --> 00:08:59,135
No, I don't wanna hear it!
196
00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:01,404
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
197
00:09:01,404 --> 00:09:04,708
About how we would plant
vegetables in the garden
198
00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:06,576
before you were born.
199
00:09:06,576 --> 00:09:08,378
Oh, well that's not that bad.
200
00:09:08,378 --> 00:09:11,481
I mean, it's boring but it's not
that bad at all.
201
00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:13,817
Oh, you want some action?
202
00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:16,987
Look, I got some betas too.
203
00:09:16,987 --> 00:09:18,522
Ooh, I got this one beta.
204
00:09:18,522 --> 00:09:20,924
You know, your momma was wild
before she started teaching
205
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:24,394
bible class,
she was a freaky deak.
206
00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:25,595
Everybody knew it!
207
00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,063
Let me go get this beta!
208
00:09:27,597 --> 00:09:30,000
[music]
209
00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:33,136
So, how's it going?
210
00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:35,138
Are you social media famous yet?
211
00:09:35,138 --> 00:09:38,942
I just see a lot of hearts
212
00:09:38,942 --> 00:09:43,046
and no new registrants yet
for the help center.
213
00:09:43,046 --> 00:09:46,983
And why are people sending me
these little crying faces?
214
00:09:48,051 --> 00:09:49,920
That means they
think you're funny.
215
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,855
That's good, you're connecting
with people.
216
00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:53,823
Well my face is gonna be the one
crying
217
00:09:53,823 --> 00:09:57,460
if I don't get this grant.
218
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:58,662
You know what we should do?
219
00:09:58,662 --> 00:10:00,063
We should go live.
220
00:10:00,063 --> 00:10:01,598
We're not already live?
221
00:10:01,598 --> 00:10:04,067
Technically yes,
but if we livestream
222
00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:07,270
it'll be uninterrupted and you
can get your message across
223
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:09,773
in real time and get people to
sign up right now.
224
00:10:09,773 --> 00:10:11,708
Okay, I like it.
225
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:15,078
And then we will be live live,
right?
226
00:10:15,078 --> 00:10:17,581
Soon as I press that button
you'll see the number of people
227
00:10:17,581 --> 00:10:20,016
watching at the top of the
screen and you'll be broadcast
228
00:10:20,016 --> 00:10:21,284
all over the world.
229
00:10:21,284 --> 00:10:22,385
Yes!
230
00:10:22,385 --> 00:10:24,821
Ooh, I got one more thing
I need to do.
231
00:10:24,821 --> 00:10:26,823
[humming]
232
00:10:28,124 --> 00:10:31,461
You wanna look in the camera and
say, "Queens, stand up",
233
00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:34,097
don't you?
234
00:10:34,097 --> 00:10:35,265
No.
235
00:10:35,265 --> 00:10:36,333
[laughing]
236
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:38,201
I wanna get ready
for my followers.
237
00:10:38,201 --> 00:10:40,870
I need more hair and makeup.
238
00:10:42,439 --> 00:10:46,042
Contour me, highlight me.
Contour me, highlight me.
239
00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:47,944
-[Lisa] I got you. I got you.
-[music]
240
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,782
[music]
241
00:10:51,782 --> 00:10:53,250
Oh!
242
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:57,087
Look at this, Calvin got me
already set up.
243
00:10:57,087 --> 00:10:59,389
That's my son, that's my son!
244
00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:01,058
Love you, Calvin.
245
00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:03,760
Okay, so where
I got to get myself?
246
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,397
I just need to turn it on.
247
00:11:07,397 --> 00:11:10,601
-[beeping]
-Bam!
248
00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:12,069
Hello, good people.
249
00:11:12,069 --> 00:11:13,670
Hello, this is Curtis Payne.
250
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:18,575
I'm the owner of Curtis Payne,
the Sauce Boss "wipe me down."
251
00:11:18,575 --> 00:11:21,411
I'm here to let you know my
stuff is so juicy
252
00:11:21,411 --> 00:11:24,281
you can jump in it
and swim in that thing.
253
00:11:24,281 --> 00:11:25,549
You heard me?
254
00:11:25,549 --> 00:11:27,518
Swim in it!
255
00:11:27,518 --> 00:11:30,454
And if you want to, you can suck
it through a straw.
256
00:11:30,454 --> 00:11:32,022
That's how good it is.
257
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:33,590
Huh?
[phone dinging]
258
00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:39,763
Circle-Around-The-A QueenSheets
259
00:11:39,763 --> 00:11:41,899
said, "Take it off."
260
00:11:41,899 --> 00:11:44,468
Well, you have a little freaky,
ain't you?
261
00:11:44,468 --> 00:11:45,736
Talking about...
262
00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:50,440
Okay, Calvin said give the
people what they request.
263
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,476
So you gonna get a peek
and that's it.
264
00:11:52,476 --> 00:11:54,678
Okay, that's it!
265
00:11:54,678 --> 00:11:56,446
[laughing]
266
00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:59,883
No more, you gotta pay
for the rest.
267
00:12:01,185 --> 00:12:05,656
Now, you can use my sauce
on ribs, chicken,
268
00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:08,525
and, and, and, and, and lamb.
269
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:09,993
That's how good it is.
270
00:12:09,993 --> 00:12:12,563
Even if you want to you can use
it as body lotion.
271
00:12:12,563 --> 00:12:15,599
And you can smear it all over
yourself, huh?
272
00:12:15,599 --> 00:12:17,267
Curtis!
273
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:21,238
Curtis Payne,
what are you doing?!
274
00:12:21,238 --> 00:12:23,473
Shh, baby, I'm making a video
for my followers.
275
00:12:23,473 --> 00:12:24,708
They so nasty!
276
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:27,077
-Mr. Payne!
-[unintelligible]
277
00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:29,246
No, you stop,
no you turn it off.
278
00:12:29,246 --> 00:12:30,447
Stop it.
279
00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:31,548
Not a chance!
280
00:12:31,548 --> 00:12:33,817
This thing right here says
I'm talking to
281
00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:37,588
1,875 people right now.
282
00:12:37,588 --> 00:12:40,791
Okay, Mr. Payne, I see you
getting your clout on.
283
00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:43,694
You're not helping, Lisa.
284
00:12:43,694 --> 00:12:45,062
Pops, what are you doing?
285
00:12:45,062 --> 00:12:46,196
I'm doing what you told me to.
286
00:12:46,196 --> 00:12:50,234
Curtis, explain yourself.
287
00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:52,236
Baby, Calvin set this up for me.
288
00:12:52,236 --> 00:12:54,304
-No.
-So I could make a video
289
00:12:54,304 --> 00:12:56,940
for, so I could get some more
followers for my barbecue sauce.
290
00:12:56,940 --> 00:13:00,110
No, Calvin brought this so you
can make a video
291
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:02,212
for your little three followers.
292
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:06,350
No, this says 1,875.
293
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,252
No, those are Mrs. Payne's.
294
00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:11,555
I set this up for her.
295
00:13:11,555 --> 00:13:13,690
Oh, but then who are these
people listening to me
296
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,626
talk about my barbecue sauce?
297
00:13:15,626 --> 00:13:21,598
Woman that I am trying to get to
register for the help center.
298
00:13:21,598 --> 00:13:26,703
They need some help
'cause they some freaky deaks.
299
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:29,506
They a little freaky,
that's all I'm saying.
300
00:13:29,506 --> 00:13:31,008
See, look at this.
301
00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:36,446
"Circle round the a channel God,
take it off."
302
00:13:38,181 --> 00:13:41,652
Uh, she means the stream, take
the stream off.
303
00:13:42,753 --> 00:13:44,721
-[beep]
-Circle around the a
304
00:13:44,721 --> 00:13:46,957
is the @ symbol, you genius.
305
00:13:46,957 --> 00:13:48,425
What's an @ symbol?
306
00:13:48,425 --> 00:13:50,260
You know, I would explain it to
you but you've been down
307
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:52,162
enough rabbit holes for one day.
308
00:13:52,162 --> 00:13:56,633
Curtis, you have fffffffff
309
00:13:56,633 --> 00:14:00,604
fouled this up for me.
310
00:14:00,604 --> 00:14:03,040
I thought you was gonna say
something else.
311
00:14:05,175 --> 00:14:07,744
Yo momma is an internet troll.
312
00:14:08,812 --> 00:14:11,248
Calvin, son!
313
00:14:11,248 --> 00:14:17,220
-What's up, Pops?
-Hey, what's an internet troll?
314
00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:20,290
Don't respond to that,
it's only gonna make it worse.
315
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:23,393
Um, you told me people like it
when I engage.
316
00:14:23,393 --> 00:14:24,895
Well, not when you're being
dragged.
317
00:14:24,895 --> 00:14:27,931
You can't win against an army of
social media bullies.
318
00:14:27,931 --> 00:14:29,733
Hmm.
319
00:14:29,733 --> 00:14:34,504
You look like if I smell like
hotdog water was a person.
320
00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:36,173
[laughing]
321
00:14:36,173 --> 00:14:37,507
The hell does that mean?
322
00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:39,209
Your barbecue sauce
probably tastes like
323
00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:40,744
the back of your ears.
324
00:14:40,744 --> 00:14:41,912
Pops, don't respond.
325
00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:43,413
[shrieks]
326
00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:47,784
Come say that to my face!
327
00:14:47,784 --> 00:14:49,186
My address is--
328
00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:50,354
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
329
00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:52,122
-Are you crazy?!
-207--
330
00:14:52,122 --> 00:14:53,357
Are you crazy?
331
00:14:53,357 --> 00:14:55,392
Don't put your address
on the internet.
332
00:14:55,392 --> 00:14:58,362
But I'm a grown-ass man,
you heard me?
333
00:14:58,362 --> 00:15:01,431
With, with, with, with a
mortgage and a mustache!
334
00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:04,534
Ain't nobody gonna be talking to
me any kind of way.
335
00:15:04,534 --> 00:15:08,839
I will clap back on they clout!
336
00:15:08,839 --> 00:15:11,641
I will hack their router.
337
00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:12,809
Pops, don't...
338
00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:13,977
And hack their router?
339
00:15:13,977 --> 00:15:15,912
Do you even know
what you're saying?
340
00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:17,280
Still obvious?
341
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,049
Look Pops, this is not
like the old days
342
00:15:19,049 --> 00:15:21,651
when people used to handle their
disputes with brass knuckles,
343
00:15:21,651 --> 00:15:23,286
bats, and knives.
344
00:15:23,286 --> 00:15:25,255
Bunch of cowards.
345
00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:27,491
You know, everybody has a
microphone nowadays
346
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,826
and they can hide behind their
avatars and handles
347
00:15:29,826 --> 00:15:33,296
and say what they want without
fear of retribution.
348
00:15:33,296 --> 00:15:35,165
That's disgusting.
349
00:15:35,165 --> 00:15:37,234
You know, the more followers
they have,
350
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:38,869
the bigger their microphone.
351
00:15:38,869 --> 00:15:41,071
They can team up with their
social media bullies
352
00:15:41,071 --> 00:15:43,540
and jump whoever
they hate that day.
353
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,876
[grunts]
354
00:15:45,876 --> 00:15:47,978
Now that's brilliant.
355
00:15:47,978 --> 00:15:51,181
You just said it was disgusting.
356
00:15:51,181 --> 00:15:52,949
How many followers you got?
357
00:15:52,949 --> 00:15:55,018
About 1,200.
358
00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:57,521
But my work account
has about 100,000.
359
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,623
Woo!
360
00:15:59,623 --> 00:16:01,091
Thank you, God.
361
00:16:01,091 --> 00:16:02,492
Give me that account.
362
00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:05,595
Uh, no I would rather OD on your
sauce and slip into
363
00:16:05,595 --> 00:16:06,763
a diabetic coma.
364
00:16:06,763 --> 00:16:08,398
No.
365
00:16:08,398 --> 00:16:10,934
The coma I could help you with
if you don't give me
366
00:16:10,934 --> 00:16:12,068
that account.
367
00:16:12,068 --> 00:16:14,571
Pops, no, this is my livelihood.
368
00:16:14,571 --> 00:16:17,407
Which you don't need
if you're dead.
369
00:16:17,407 --> 00:16:19,543
Give me that account.
370
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,211
Do you even know
what you're doing?
371
00:16:21,211 --> 00:16:23,413
Yes, I know what I'm doing.
372
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:24,981
What's wrong with you?
373
00:16:24,981 --> 00:16:26,850
You ain't been here listening,
you ain't been paying attention?
374
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:33,890
So mad at Curtis I could spit.
375
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,360
Think.
376
00:16:39,296 --> 00:16:41,498
You know what we could do,
377
00:16:41,498 --> 00:16:44,000
we could get an influencer
to boost it.
378
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,802
What's an influencer?
379
00:16:45,802 --> 00:16:47,871
It's like a celebrity that many
people don't, like,
380
00:16:47,871 --> 00:16:49,339
know about.
381
00:16:49,339 --> 00:16:52,275
And how do I get an influencer
this late?
382
00:16:52,275 --> 00:16:56,079
Pay 'em $25,000.
383
00:16:56,079 --> 00:16:57,948
That's it. [chuckles]
384
00:16:57,948 --> 00:17:03,753
No more tweets, no more
timelines, no more hustles.
385
00:17:03,753 --> 00:17:08,825
That's what's wrong with us,
we do not want to connect
386
00:17:08,825 --> 00:17:10,560
on a personal level.
387
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,829
Because we don't have to.
388
00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:15,432
Because you don't want to.
389
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:17,968
But it's what I have to do.
390
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:24,774
Turn that camera on,
I need to talk to some women.
391
00:17:24,774 --> 00:17:30,881
No jokes, no catchphrases,
just me.
392
00:17:30,881 --> 00:17:35,685
And I wanna be real with them
and I gotta speak from my heart.
393
00:17:35,685 --> 00:17:37,220
Okay.
394
00:17:39,222 --> 00:17:41,324
[beep]
395
00:17:41,324 --> 00:17:43,660
Go ahead.
396
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:46,196
Hello!
397
00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:49,099
I'm Ella Payne.
398
00:17:49,099 --> 00:17:51,535
I wanna help some women.
399
00:17:51,535 --> 00:17:54,704
But I need your help.
400
00:17:54,704 --> 00:17:59,843
The help center is the only
place some people have.
401
00:18:01,411 --> 00:18:07,284
And we need 75 new clients to
register today
402
00:18:07,284 --> 00:18:09,185
-so that we can make sure--
-[phone dinging]
403
00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:12,389
-We get our grant--
-[phone dinging]
404
00:18:12,389 --> 00:18:14,357
That was fast.
405
00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:21,998
It's an email,
it's a new registration.
406
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:25,468
[phone dinging]
407
00:18:25,468 --> 00:18:26,670
It's going crazy!
408
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,972
It's all new registrations.
409
00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:32,776
20, 30, 53!
410
00:18:32,776 --> 00:18:33,877
53?!
411
00:18:33,877 --> 00:18:36,346
Thank you,
thank you for doing this!
412
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:39,649
Oh, God bless you!
413
00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:42,385
Wait, it's not recording.
414
00:18:42,385 --> 00:18:44,454
What do you mean
it's not recording?
415
00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:46,523
Well who am I talking to?
416
00:18:46,523 --> 00:18:48,024
Let me check the timeline.
417
00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:51,361
"Sauce Boss is so sweet."
418
00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:53,697
"That's how you love a woman."
419
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,800
"A man who supports his wife
like that is rare."
420
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,936
"I was the victim of domestic
violence and I need help."
421
00:18:59,936 --> 00:19:02,606
"I'm registering now,
hashtag: help me."
422
00:19:02,606 --> 00:19:04,975
What?
423
00:19:04,975 --> 00:19:07,877
The help center timeline is
flooding with testimonies
424
00:19:07,877 --> 00:19:10,013
and confessionals.
425
00:19:10,013 --> 00:19:13,283
"If Ella's half as amazing as
the Sauce Boss says--
426
00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:16,186
-Lisa.
-"She can change my life."
427
00:19:16,186 --> 00:19:18,488
Curtis is doing this?
428
00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:21,758
-[phone dinging]
-How?
429
00:19:21,758 --> 00:19:23,526
103?
430
00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:25,695
121!
431
00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,197
-You did it!
-We did it?
432
00:19:27,197 --> 00:19:29,866
-We did it!
-121?!
433
00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:36,840
Curtis, baby,
what did you just do?
434
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,343
I got the biggest microphone
I could find
435
00:19:40,343 --> 00:19:44,648
and told the whole world
how wonderful you are.
436
00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:46,583
I told them
you needed their help.
437
00:19:48,151 --> 00:19:50,320
Thank you.
438
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,022
Thank you, Curtis.
439
00:19:55,191 --> 00:19:57,394
Thank you, we did it.
440
00:20:03,575 --> 00:20:07,246
and, and, and, he was just,
puberty was smacking him
441
00:20:07,246 --> 00:20:09,681
all in his pimple-ridden face.
442
00:20:09,681 --> 00:20:11,650
Pops, don't do that.
443
00:20:11,650 --> 00:20:15,054
Shh, I'm trying to make a funny
video like you said.
444
00:20:15,054 --> 00:20:16,355
Not about me!
445
00:20:16,355 --> 00:20:17,790
And you should have
seen him over there,
446
00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:23,395
he just was squeezing and just
squeezing and squeezing.
447
00:20:23,395 --> 00:20:24,730
That's not true!
448
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:27,766
I said, "Son, you can't milk
yourself."
449
00:20:29,835 --> 00:20:33,605
And, and, and, our nipples are
useless, he ain't know it.
450
00:20:33,605 --> 00:20:35,240
You know what?
451
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,810
Go ahead and tell your little
story to your eight followers.
452
00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:40,345
No, there's still 100,000.
453
00:20:40,345 --> 00:20:41,680
It's my people!
454
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,148
All my people's in the house.
455
00:20:43,148 --> 00:20:45,584
[laughs] This your work account.
456
00:20:45,584 --> 00:20:48,020
Momma, I'm about to
kill your husband!
457
00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:50,089
That's him right there,
come here!
458
00:20:50,089 --> 00:20:51,256
Come look at it.
459
00:20:51,256 --> 00:20:52,524
What are you doing?
460
00:20:52,524 --> 00:20:54,126
That's my people!
461
00:20:54,126 --> 00:20:55,494
That's him.
462
00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:01,932
[music]
463
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:29,254
[music]
464
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:32,224
[music]