1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,702
-[knocking on door]
-[Miranda] Calvin, let's go!
2
00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,105
[knocking on door]
3
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,272
Calvin, let's go.
4
00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:08,775
-What happened?
-Okay, look.
5
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,644
We need to ride out real quick.
6
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,279
Well, where are we going?
7
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,582
You need to get whatever you
need to handle your business.
8
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,618
-I'm taking this.
-What business?
9
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,987
Listen, you're--
you're supposed to say,
10
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,555
whose car are we taking?
11
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:24,224
I don't even know
where we're going.
12
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,626
-Christian's school!
-Wait, what?
13
00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:28,228
I-is everything
okay with my baby boy?
14
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,896
The principal called and
said that he got jumped
15
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,664
by a mob of kids.
16
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:34,234
-Oh-ho, whoa.
-Exactly!
17
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,668
We are about to ride out.
Let's go!
18
00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,203
What are you gonna
do with an umbrella?
19
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,304
You gonna keep him dry?
20
00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,707
I'm about to handle my business!
21
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,543
Maybe you are overreacting
just a little bit.
22
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,378
Somebody put their
hands on my baby?
23
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,881
Somebody put their
hands on my baby!
24
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,349
What's going on?
25
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,050
It sounds like two women
screaming about their babies!
26
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,118
We about to ride out.
27
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,787
Wait, wait, what happened?
28
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,221
Look, the details don't matter.
29
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,990
Just know that we might be
about to hurt some people.
30
00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,059
-What kind of people?
-Little people.
31
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:02,395
Like little people
little people?
32
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,797
Listen, Christian's
principal called.
33
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,299
He got jumped during
a riot at the school.
34
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:07,967
-Whose car are we taking?
-Exactly.
35
00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,770
-Boom.
-Leave your cell phone.
36
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:11,971
Leave the phone, let's go.
37
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:13,506
-Wait a minute.
-Let's go, let's go.
38
00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:16,242
What you gonna do
with that umbrella?
39
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,845
I'm about to handle my business.
Now, let's go.
40
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:19,879
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
41
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:20,713
-[Laura] Let's go.
-Yeah.
42
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,569
There we go.
Now the monitor is all set up.
43
00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:48,138
Now Ma-Lisa and the
twins can see Janine
44
00:01:48,138 --> 00:01:50,373
anytime they want to.
45
00:01:50,373 --> 00:01:52,776
Hey, Dad, I don't know if
you heard about this, uh,
46
00:01:52,776 --> 00:01:55,879
new contraption that
they have called a phone.
47
00:01:55,879 --> 00:01:59,149
Yeah, it kind of does
something similar to that.
48
00:01:59,149 --> 00:02:02,786
You know, they got this other
contraption called an apartment
49
00:02:02,786 --> 00:02:05,322
that you can walk out that
door and pay your own rent
50
00:02:05,322 --> 00:02:07,190
and buy your own groceries.
51
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,458
You know, the older you get,
52
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,360
the more you sound
like Uncle Curtis.
53
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,395
And the longer you stay here,
54
00:02:12,395 --> 00:02:14,898
the more I feel
like Uncle Curtis.
55
00:02:14,898 --> 00:02:17,734
With your baby and your
girlfriend.
56
00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:20,804
So Ms. Payne really
working out of town?
57
00:02:20,804 --> 00:02:23,506
Yeah, yeah, you know,
it's a great opportunity and
58
00:02:23,506 --> 00:02:26,042
a lot of people do
it, so, it's okay.
59
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:29,212
I don't know if I'd let
my wife work out of town.
60
00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:31,748
Let me?
You know what we call girls
61
00:02:31,748 --> 00:02:34,618
who cross state lines
to get that bag?
62
00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:36,553
What?
Interstate strippers?
63
00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,989
[laughs] Highway hustler?
64
00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:41,558
[laughing]
65
00:02:44,394 --> 00:02:46,963
-Determined.
-That too.
66
00:02:46,963 --> 00:02:49,666
That's--yeah, okay.
67
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,868
I mean, we out here working
twice as much as men
68
00:02:51,868 --> 00:02:55,071
just to make half the money.
So I salute your momma.
69
00:02:55,071 --> 00:02:56,973
Wait, so it kinda
sounds like you would be okay
70
00:02:56,973 --> 00:03:00,310
leaving me and your
baby to make some money.
71
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,212
It do sound like that.
That's how it sound.
72
00:03:02,212 --> 00:03:04,681
You mean like men
do all the time?
73
00:03:04,681 --> 00:03:07,317
My dad never left us,
even when it got rough.
74
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,919
I must say, I did
what I had to do,
75
00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,021
but I was just doing
76
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,490
what a leader of a
family supposed to do.
77
00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:14,958
-You feel me?
-I feel you.
78
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:16,860
And women can lead too.
79
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:18,828
Obviously Mrs. Payne
is leading right now
80
00:03:18,828 --> 00:03:21,531
while Mr. Payne tends to
the children and the farm.
81
00:03:21,531 --> 00:03:23,466
No, no, no, no, no, no.
82
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,068
Fire chief, okay?
83
00:03:25,068 --> 00:03:26,970
Nobody's leading, you know?
84
00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,372
This is not Little
House on the Prairie.
85
00:03:29,372 --> 00:03:31,574
What she talking about?
86
00:03:31,574 --> 00:03:34,644
It's a figure of speech.
I didn't mean literally.
87
00:03:34,644 --> 00:03:38,248
It sound like you literally
calling me a homemaker.
88
00:03:38,248 --> 00:03:39,482
Well...
89
00:03:39,482 --> 00:03:41,084
But you are.
90
00:03:41,084 --> 00:03:42,619
But I'm not.
91
00:03:42,619 --> 00:03:44,788
Uh, Dad, your wife
is away at work
92
00:03:44,788 --> 00:03:47,390
and your job is to have dinner
on the stove every night.
93
00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:50,894
Kind of sounds like a homemaker.
94
00:03:50,894 --> 00:03:55,098
Boy, I'm a grown man
with a mortgage and pension.
95
00:03:55,098 --> 00:03:56,199
Y'all got me messed up.
96
00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:57,567
Y'all gonna stop
playin' with me.
97
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,636
Uh, what's for dinner tonight?
98
00:03:59,636 --> 00:04:01,071
Uh, I think we're
gonna have beef ribs.
99
00:04:01,071 --> 00:04:04,340
-Oh.
-And, uh, asparagus.
100
00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:05,408
I got some--I got a salad.
101
00:04:05,408 --> 00:04:06,843
Got some thousand
island dressing.
102
00:04:06,843 --> 00:04:08,878
That's good, I like that.
And, uh, I gotta get a starch,
103
00:04:08,878 --> 00:04:10,980
so I gotta run to
the supermarket.
104
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:12,615
Yeah.
105
00:04:12,615 --> 00:04:14,017
Don't be mad, I mean,
I think it's dope
106
00:04:14,017 --> 00:04:17,253
that Mrs. Payne has
you domesticated.
107
00:04:17,253 --> 00:04:20,523
You know, that's
the last damn time.
108
00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:22,459
We're going to
show these cowpokes
109
00:04:22,459 --> 00:04:24,794
who is running this ranch.
110
00:04:24,794 --> 00:04:27,697
Call Janine. Call Janine!
111
00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:31,901
Hey, family, what's happening?
112
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:34,704
-Being retired.
-I know that's right.
113
00:04:34,704 --> 00:04:35,972
That's what I say.
114
00:04:35,972 --> 00:04:38,274
[laughing]
115
00:04:38,274 --> 00:04:40,610
[sighs] Oh, uh, baby,
I'm gonna grab me some water.
116
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:41,911
You need anything
out the kitchen?
117
00:04:41,911 --> 00:04:43,980
Curtis, please,
can I get some tea?
118
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,281
Chamomile.
119
00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:48,318
And I'll take a squeeze
of honey and a lemon wedge.
120
00:04:48,318 --> 00:04:50,220
-You got it, baby.
-Thank you.
121
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,521
Oh, and Curtis?
122
00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:53,456
Can I get my
house shoes, please?
123
00:04:53,456 --> 00:04:54,991
-Oh yeah.
-Thank you.
124
00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:56,526
You want me to rub
your feet for ya?
125
00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:58,061
Ooh, yes, a little
later, though.
126
00:04:58,061 --> 00:04:59,229
Can you do that later?
127
00:04:59,229 --> 00:05:00,430
-Yeah, okay.
-Thank you!
128
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,298
Mm!
129
00:05:02,298 --> 00:05:04,801
Uh, Big Homie?
130
00:05:04,801 --> 00:05:06,703
What in the
housekeeping servitude
131
00:05:06,703 --> 00:05:10,874
-is going on over here?
-What do you mean?
132
00:05:10,874 --> 00:05:12,976
I mean, Aunt Ella got you
playing Benson over here?
133
00:05:12,976 --> 00:05:15,678
-I mean, what is going on?
-What?
134
00:05:15,678 --> 00:05:17,180
Ain't it supposed to be
the other way around?
135
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:20,784
Oh, so you think I'm supposed
to be at his beck and call
136
00:05:20,784 --> 00:05:23,987
and fetch his slippers and pipe?
137
00:05:23,987 --> 00:05:27,390
I mean, if that's what it is,
that's what it supposed to be.
138
00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:28,725
Uh, you need to
stop falling asleep
139
00:05:28,725 --> 00:05:30,627
on those old classics.
140
00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:33,530
We are not June
and Ward Cleaver.
141
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:36,699
Look, when did she get
you all domesticated?
142
00:05:36,699 --> 00:05:39,736
Do you know that she could
hear you talking about her?
143
00:05:39,736 --> 00:05:41,604
Like it's 1963?
144
00:05:41,604 --> 00:05:43,840
She's sitting right here.
145
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,776
He is always sitting
on his throne
146
00:05:46,776 --> 00:05:49,179
getting whatever he wants.
147
00:05:49,179 --> 00:05:50,647
What's wrong, Unc?
148
00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:53,583
Is retirement making you soft?
149
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:56,953
CJ, where is all of
this coming from?
150
00:05:56,953 --> 00:05:59,255
First of all, I
will never be soft.
151
00:05:59,255 --> 00:06:00,757
[Ella] [chuckles]
152
00:06:00,757 --> 00:06:02,625
Baby, you want me to make
you some of the cucumbers
153
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,160
with the dill, like
I did the other day?
154
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,362
Ooh, Curtis, please, yes.
155
00:06:06,362 --> 00:06:09,165
Ooh, I can't wait.
156
00:06:09,165 --> 00:06:12,302
The world is upside down!
What is going on over here?
157
00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:15,672
[music]
158
00:06:15,672 --> 00:06:17,774
Well, that didn't go as planned.
159
00:06:17,774 --> 00:06:20,443
I thought you said Christian
got jumped by a gang of kids.
160
00:06:20,443 --> 00:06:22,879
Well, maybe I misheard
the principal.
161
00:06:22,879 --> 00:06:24,347
Uh...
162
00:06:24,347 --> 00:06:27,784
Well, you know, a gaggle of kids
making a ruckus in the hallway
163
00:06:27,784 --> 00:06:31,921
does kind of sound like a gang
of kids on the playground.
164
00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:34,190
Actually, that
sounds nothing alike.
165
00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:36,726
It really didn't help that you
went in waving your umbrella,
166
00:06:36,726 --> 00:06:38,328
threatening people.
167
00:06:38,328 --> 00:06:40,330
Well, I was upset
'cause you made it seem like
168
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,165
Christian was on life support.
169
00:06:42,165 --> 00:06:44,601
You know, my sister
went through this.
170
00:06:44,601 --> 00:06:47,904
-Went through what?
-Parental hysteria.
171
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:51,107
-That's a real thing?
-Yeah, she invented it.
172
00:06:51,107 --> 00:06:54,844
Mm-hmm, it's when parents think
that their kids are in danger.
173
00:06:54,844 --> 00:06:59,215
All common sense gives way
to delusion and overreacting.
174
00:06:59,215 --> 00:07:00,383
Ain't nobody overreacting.
175
00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:01,751
[Miranda] Nobody's overreacting.
176
00:07:01,751 --> 00:07:03,086
Let somebody put their
hands on my baby--
177
00:07:03,086 --> 00:07:05,455
-They're getting smoked.
-I will hit a kid!
178
00:07:05,455 --> 00:07:07,824
I stand corrected.
179
00:07:07,824 --> 00:07:10,026
Well, okay, exactly
what would you do?
180
00:07:10,026 --> 00:07:11,327
-Oh, me?
-[Miranda] Mm-hmm.
181
00:07:11,327 --> 00:07:13,663
-They would've got these hands.
-Thank you.
182
00:07:13,663 --> 00:07:18,768
But after I would've gotten all
the facts and details straight.
183
00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:20,737
See?
You're smart. You're smart.
184
00:07:20,737 --> 00:07:22,805
Now my photo is sitting up
185
00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:25,508
in the security
office at the school.
186
00:07:25,508 --> 00:07:27,710
You threatened
the janitor, babe.
187
00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:29,212
Well, how was I
supposed to know?
188
00:07:29,212 --> 00:07:30,914
He had a broom.
189
00:07:30,914 --> 00:07:33,683
Well, it looked
like a weapon to me.
190
00:07:33,683 --> 00:07:35,885
You know, parental hysteria
191
00:07:35,885 --> 00:07:39,889
can really cause a parent to
see things that are not there
192
00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:41,491
when they think that
their kid is in danger.
193
00:07:41,491 --> 00:07:44,260
My sister thought that
it was a bear chasing her baby!
194
00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:47,931
Huh! It turned out
it was just a beagle.
195
00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:51,267
But still, she thought her
baby's life was in danger.
196
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:53,803
Well, you know what?
Let's look at the positive.
197
00:07:53,803 --> 00:07:55,605
-[Miranda] Yes.
-At least Christian is safe
198
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,307
and it was only a
playground scuffle, so...
199
00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:58,675
Exactly.
200
00:07:58,675 --> 00:08:00,777
I'm really happy that
he's at a good school
201
00:08:00,777 --> 00:08:03,246
that has a
zero-tolerance policy.
202
00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:06,449
And, uh, plus they know,
let something go down,
203
00:08:06,449 --> 00:08:08,117
we gonna roll up in there.
204
00:08:08,117 --> 00:08:09,419
[laughs]
205
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:11,220
Sometimes you gotta show
'em just how crazy you are.
206
00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,555
Hey, yeah!
207
00:08:12,555 --> 00:08:14,090
[laughs]
208
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:16,626
I'm crazy too.
209
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,894
Yes, you are.
210
00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:19,462
I see you, boo.
211
00:08:19,462 --> 00:08:20,563
[phone ringing]
212
00:08:20,563 --> 00:08:22,198
Oh.
213
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:25,301
Hold on a second.
Hello?
214
00:08:28,438 --> 00:08:29,639
Yes?
215
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:32,275
This is she.
216
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:33,443
What?
217
00:08:33,443 --> 00:08:36,779
Another fight at school?
218
00:08:36,779 --> 00:08:39,048
Okay, I'm--I'm on my way
to come get him right now.
219
00:08:39,048 --> 00:08:40,950
Oh, these kids just don't learn.
Let's ride!
220
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,618
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
221
00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:45,254
I just have to go pick him up.
222
00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:48,658
Christian has been
suspended for bullying.
223
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,660
Can you hand me
my purse, please?
224
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:51,761
Yeah.
225
00:08:51,761 --> 00:08:53,563
Bullying?
226
00:08:53,563 --> 00:08:54,764
Thanks.
227
00:08:58,310 --> 00:08:59,978
Ms. Ella, thank you so much
for watching Christian.
228
00:08:59,978 --> 00:09:02,414
Today has been such a crazy day.
229
00:09:02,414 --> 00:09:04,483
Who was he fighting?
230
00:09:04,483 --> 00:09:06,318
Not fighting, bullying.
231
00:09:06,318 --> 00:09:07,286
Bullying?
232
00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:09,521
What--where did
he get that from?
233
00:09:09,521 --> 00:09:12,124
I don't know! Probably Calvin.
234
00:09:12,124 --> 00:09:14,560
You know when he gets going and
gets so intense and worked up,
235
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,964
and sometimes it's really
challenging to reel him back in.
236
00:09:18,964 --> 00:09:21,333
Ooh, I just described
myself, didn't I?
237
00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:23,235
Ding, ding, ding, bingo.
238
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:27,839
My goodness, I turned
my child into a bully.
239
00:09:27,839 --> 00:09:30,008
Miranda, you're being
too hard on yourself.
240
00:09:30,008 --> 00:09:33,145
Now, children are either
products of their environment
241
00:09:33,145 --> 00:09:36,949
or they prosper in spite
of their environment.
242
00:09:36,949 --> 00:09:38,784
Well, which one is Christian?
243
00:09:38,784 --> 00:09:41,353
I don't know, it's still early.
244
00:09:41,353 --> 00:09:45,791
But he's got a long way to go,
and he has plenty of resources.
245
00:09:45,791 --> 00:09:47,059
Well, I'm definitely grateful
246
00:09:47,059 --> 00:09:49,027
that he has two
sets of grandparents
247
00:09:49,027 --> 00:09:50,329
who can help raise him.
248
00:09:50,329 --> 00:09:51,496
No, no, no, no, no.
249
00:09:51,496 --> 00:09:53,599
I just let you drop him
off over here today.
250
00:09:53,599 --> 00:09:55,033
I'm retired.
251
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:58,904
I was saying he
has three parents.
252
00:09:58,904 --> 00:10:01,573
Laura's not his mother.
253
00:10:01,573 --> 00:10:03,709
Not yet.
254
00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:07,112
But it could be
much worse than Laura.
255
00:10:07,112 --> 00:10:11,650
Ooey, ooey, got
one on your hands!
256
00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:15,220
[grunts]
257
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:18,090
Christian told me he
was dropping haymakers
258
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,625
on them kids at school.
259
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:21,760
-Curtis.
-[Curtis] Huh?
260
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,162
He got that Payne
blood in him, baby!
261
00:10:24,162 --> 00:10:26,698
Listen, Mr. Payne,
this is not funny.
262
00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:28,066
If this happens one more time,
263
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:30,235
Christian could get
expelled from school.
264
00:10:30,235 --> 00:10:33,205
Expulsion builds character.
265
00:10:33,205 --> 00:10:35,941
No, it does not.
It builds jails.
266
00:10:35,941 --> 00:10:38,443
Jail--jails?
No, no, no, no. Jail?
267
00:10:38,443 --> 00:10:39,911
My baby can't go to jail!
268
00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:41,613
-Miranda--
-He can't go to jail!
269
00:10:41,613 --> 00:10:44,383
Christian is not gonna go
to jail.
270
00:10:44,383 --> 00:10:46,284
That's the same thing
Sugar Mane momma said
271
00:10:46,284 --> 00:10:48,587
when she gave him the
keys to her El Dorado.
272
00:10:48,587 --> 00:10:50,088
-Curtis!
-You know where he at?
273
00:10:50,088 --> 00:10:51,823
-Jail.
-Oh my goodness.
274
00:10:51,823 --> 00:10:53,959
[coughs]
You're not helping.
275
00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,293
What happened?
276
00:10:55,293 --> 00:10:56,762
Oh, you thought
the OJ chase was bad?
277
00:10:56,762 --> 00:10:58,563
[gasps]
278
00:10:58,563 --> 00:11:03,468
He rode from Hope, Arkansas
to Archibald, Louisiana
279
00:11:03,468 --> 00:11:05,904
with the groceries
still on top of the car.
280
00:11:05,904 --> 00:11:07,005
-[Ella] Curtis!
-[Curtis] Huh?
281
00:11:07,005 --> 00:11:09,007
She is already anxious enough.
282
00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:11,009
What, what?
No, no, no, no...
283
00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:13,445
My baby cannot be in a
high-speed car chase--
284
00:11:13,445 --> 00:11:16,148
-[Ella] Miranda--
- --with stolen produce!
285
00:11:16,148 --> 00:11:18,350
You better get your
house in order.
286
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:21,787
And get everybody in your
village on the same page.
287
00:11:21,787 --> 00:11:23,889
That's how we've always
done it, Miranda.
288
00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:25,590
Miranda, Curtis is right.
289
00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:28,960
Get everybody over
there on the same page.
290
00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:35,901
Okay. Thank you.
291
00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:37,803
[music]
292
00:11:37,803 --> 00:11:40,272
Connect.
Connect.
293
00:11:42,474 --> 00:11:43,875
Connect!
294
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:50,816
Play, uh, Turn Off
the Lights by...
295
00:11:50,816 --> 00:11:52,784
Teddy Pendergrass.
296
00:11:52,784 --> 00:11:55,587
Turn the lights back on!
297
00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:58,590
Turn the lights on.
Turn the lights on!
298
00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:01,193
-CJ!
-Hey! Oh.
299
00:12:01,193 --> 00:12:03,762
Uh, say bro, you need to hold
somethin' 'til payday
300
00:12:03,762 --> 00:12:05,363
for the light bill?
301
00:12:05,363 --> 00:12:07,799
No, man, this--this video
monitor is acting crazy.
302
00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:09,167
I can't get it to work.
303
00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:12,037
-Can I try?
-Yeah.
304
00:12:13,972 --> 00:12:18,043
Lights on all over, please.
305
00:12:18,043 --> 00:12:19,945
Oh, wow, how did you--
306
00:12:19,945 --> 00:12:23,148
Lights on all over, please!
307
00:12:23,148 --> 00:12:25,317
Wow! How did you do that?
308
00:12:25,317 --> 00:12:29,254
The algorithm responds
better to females' voices.
309
00:12:29,254 --> 00:12:32,557
See, the chauvinist programmers
think only women stay at home
310
00:12:32,557 --> 00:12:34,292
and don't go to work.
311
00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:36,628
Oh, y'all think I stay at
home and don't go to work?
312
00:12:36,628 --> 00:12:37,662
[chuckles]
313
00:12:37,662 --> 00:12:39,331
-Okay, okay.
-No--
314
00:12:39,331 --> 00:12:40,899
Y'all think I don't go to work.
315
00:12:40,899 --> 00:12:42,701
-No, no!
-No, no, no, CJ, we don't.
316
00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:45,237
Yeah, no, I mean, I understand,
I understand, uh-huh.
317
00:12:45,237 --> 00:12:48,306
I mean, I change diapers.
318
00:12:48,306 --> 00:12:51,977
-Yes.
-Yeah, I cook, I cook, right?
319
00:12:51,977 --> 00:12:54,412
Yes.
320
00:12:54,412 --> 00:12:56,148
I clean.
321
00:12:56,148 --> 00:12:59,217
But I'm the man of
this house, damn it!
322
00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:01,953
-Chill, bro, we get it.
-Let me help you out there, CJ.
323
00:13:01,953 --> 00:13:03,855
Don't come in here accusing me
324
00:13:03,855 --> 00:13:06,057
of being domesticated,
all right?
325
00:13:06,057 --> 00:13:07,993
Thank you, thank you,
sis, I appreciate that.
326
00:13:07,993 --> 00:13:11,062
-But you are domesticated.
-No, I'm not.
327
00:13:11,062 --> 00:13:14,933
Uh, yes, you are.
But it's kind of cool.
328
00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:18,170
It's hella dope, CJ.
329
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:20,672
You are cooking.
You are cleaning.
330
00:13:20,672 --> 00:13:22,374
Taking care of four kids.
331
00:13:22,374 --> 00:13:26,111
Working hard and supporting
your woman through her dreams?
332
00:13:26,111 --> 00:13:30,215
Uh, baby, I'm
standing right here.
333
00:13:30,215 --> 00:13:33,084
Oh, baby, no, you--
334
00:13:33,084 --> 00:13:36,021
No, you know what I meant.
335
00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:37,889
Technically--technically
it's five kids,
336
00:13:37,889 --> 00:13:39,324
because we got the baby.
337
00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:41,393
Now, once the baby came,
it's five kids.
338
00:13:41,393 --> 00:13:43,261
I have to start all over again.
Change diapers and everything.
339
00:13:43,261 --> 00:13:45,597
Now, that's crazy,
'cause at most,
340
00:13:45,597 --> 00:13:48,133
Pops had three kids in
the house, and he had help.
341
00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:51,203
That's right! Pops had help.
342
00:13:51,203 --> 00:13:54,005
I ain't have no help!
I had to do it by myself.
343
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:55,640
You know what?
344
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,442
You low key might be the head
patriarch of the Payne family--
345
00:13:57,442 --> 00:13:59,077
Ain't no low key!
Ain't no low key!
346
00:13:59,077 --> 00:14:01,913
I'm the patriarch!
I'm the one.
347
00:14:01,913 --> 00:14:06,985
You know, huh, it is so sexy
when a man can do all of that.
348
00:14:06,985 --> 00:14:08,787
-Uh--
-Mm!
349
00:14:08,787 --> 00:14:11,623
You see me here, though.
350
00:14:11,623 --> 00:14:13,391
Oh, baby!
351
00:14:13,391 --> 00:14:17,762
Yes, yes, baby, I know you
can take care of five kids
352
00:14:17,762 --> 00:14:20,465
and support me and all of that.
353
00:14:20,465 --> 00:14:23,134
Actually, I can't
even take care of two.
354
00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:25,070
What?
What's that supposed to mean?
355
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,205
Christian just got
suspended for bullying.
356
00:14:27,205 --> 00:14:29,541
What?
Where did he get that from?
357
00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:30,642
Probably Miranda.
358
00:14:30,642 --> 00:14:32,410
You know, she can't
process things well
359
00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:35,213
and she keeps things
bottled in 'till it explodes,
360
00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:38,316
and then you--it's
already too late, and...
361
00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:41,653
Did I just describe myself?
362
00:14:41,653 --> 00:14:43,755
-To a tee.
-Spot on.
363
00:14:43,755 --> 00:14:46,324
That's you.
364
00:14:46,324 --> 00:14:47,726
You gotta get the juice.
365
00:14:47,726 --> 00:14:50,095
See, you gotta rub it
like this and get the juice
366
00:14:50,095 --> 00:14:51,429
'cause the kids like it--
367
00:14:51,429 --> 00:14:52,797
you put the thousand
island ranch on there,
368
00:14:52,797 --> 00:14:54,099
and then it--boo.
369
00:14:54,099 --> 00:14:55,934
You--you taking notes?
370
00:14:55,934 --> 00:14:58,203
Yeah, yeah, I'm taking notes.
371
00:14:58,203 --> 00:15:00,805
You know, when we
were struggling
372
00:15:00,805 --> 00:15:03,408
and the kids started acting out,
373
00:15:03,408 --> 00:15:06,278
it was usually because of
something we weren't doing.
374
00:15:06,278 --> 00:15:08,246
-Like spanking them?
-Time out?
375
00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:11,049
No, not spending time with them.
376
00:15:11,049 --> 00:15:12,984
I had two.
377
00:15:12,984 --> 00:15:14,686
I was by myself, and I had two.
378
00:15:14,686 --> 00:15:16,354
I was outnumbered.
379
00:15:16,354 --> 00:15:20,392
Yes, but you did an amazing
job raising those kids.
380
00:15:20,392 --> 00:15:22,327
I did the best I could.
381
00:15:22,327 --> 00:15:24,462
But it's questionable
what they gon' turn out to be.
382
00:15:24,462 --> 00:15:26,731
It's questionable.
We still got time to see.
383
00:15:26,731 --> 00:15:28,333
And your wife is shining,
384
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:32,304
and that's some real grown
man ish right there, Cuzzo.
385
00:15:32,304 --> 00:15:34,339
-That's grown man, ain't it?
-Yes it is.
386
00:15:34,339 --> 00:15:37,375
That's some grown man ish.
You know what?
387
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:40,946
Play This Is a Man's
World by James Brown.
388
00:15:40,946 --> 00:15:42,213
James Brown?
389
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,915
Can you get that for me?
390
00:15:43,915 --> 00:15:44,950
I got you.
391
00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:48,153
So, where are you taking
Christian when you leave here?
392
00:15:48,153 --> 00:15:50,555
-Counseling.
-Ice cream.
393
00:15:50,555 --> 00:15:53,124
No, I mean, we can
do the counseling first
394
00:15:53,124 --> 00:15:55,593
and maybe ice cream afterwards.
395
00:15:55,593 --> 00:15:56,795
Absolutely not.
396
00:15:56,795 --> 00:15:58,863
Sugar is the last thing
that Christian needs.
397
00:15:58,863 --> 00:16:00,598
See, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
398
00:16:00,598 --> 00:16:01,766
Miranda...
399
00:16:01,766 --> 00:16:04,102
Listen, I don't
mean any disrespect.
400
00:16:04,102 --> 00:16:06,271
I can take a step back.
401
00:16:06,271 --> 00:16:08,306
Did the both of you ever know
402
00:16:08,306 --> 00:16:12,043
that I took care of
someone else's child?
403
00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:13,645
[Laura & Miranda] What?
404
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:16,748
Mr. Payne had another family
on the other side of town?
405
00:16:16,748 --> 00:16:18,650
Was there another woman?
406
00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:22,487
Did you have to have a
woman-to-woman moment with her?
407
00:16:22,487 --> 00:16:24,756
Wait, was this before
or after you were saved?
408
00:16:24,756 --> 00:16:25,924
Was it Claretha?
409
00:16:25,924 --> 00:16:30,295
No, no, no, no, no,
and no, and no, and no.
410
00:16:30,295 --> 00:16:31,730
Just asking.
411
00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,965
It was Janine.
412
00:16:33,965 --> 00:16:35,467
And CJ.
413
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:37,135
Ooh!
414
00:16:37,135 --> 00:16:40,205
This family got some
bones in the closet.
415
00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:41,473
But I'm not judging.
416
00:16:41,473 --> 00:16:43,942
It's not like that.
417
00:16:43,942 --> 00:16:45,276
I was there for them when
418
00:16:45,276 --> 00:16:48,013
they couldn't take
care of their kids.
419
00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:50,048
I just helped them.
420
00:16:50,048 --> 00:16:54,586
It could've been a day,
an hour, a month, whatever.
421
00:16:54,586 --> 00:16:57,889
Whatever it took for the babies.
422
00:16:57,889 --> 00:16:59,457
I get it.
423
00:16:59,457 --> 00:17:02,093
And that's what we do.
424
00:17:02,093 --> 00:17:04,763
We have to nurture
and love our kids,
425
00:17:04,763 --> 00:17:07,766
because nobody else
is gonna do it for us.
426
00:17:09,601 --> 00:17:14,472
Miranda, listen, I know
I'm not Christian's mother.
427
00:17:14,472 --> 00:17:17,375
I just wanna be there
for you as a support system
428
00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:24,916
Yeah, we just have to
be on the same team.
429
00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:26,317
I agree.
430
00:17:26,317 --> 00:17:28,620
And I just thank you
for giving me the honor
431
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:30,722
of being in Christian's life.
432
00:17:30,722 --> 00:17:34,826
He's such a beautiful,
wonderful boy.
433
00:17:34,826 --> 00:17:38,196
Yeah, I am happy that you
are a part of our village,
434
00:17:38,196 --> 00:17:40,331
because let me tell
you, you were ready
435
00:17:40,331 --> 00:17:42,967
to roll up to that school
and get it poppin'!
436
00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:44,669
[laughs]
437
00:17:44,669 --> 00:17:45,970
Yes!
438
00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:49,274
Listen, I will punch a
bad kid in the ear, okay?
439
00:17:49,274 --> 00:17:50,842
If he wants to smoke.
440
00:17:50,842 --> 00:17:55,580
Listen, anyone who will
ride for my baby like that
441
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:57,749
can ride with me
'til the wheels fall off.
442
00:17:59,984 --> 00:18:01,820
Hey, so I wanted to ask you.
443
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:05,156
Um, there's this group
of moms that I go to.
444
00:18:05,156 --> 00:18:07,725
Some are single,
some are co-parenting,
445
00:18:07,725 --> 00:18:09,894
some are old, some are young.
446
00:18:09,894 --> 00:18:12,197
What you think about it?
447
00:18:12,197 --> 00:18:14,999
Okay. I've heard of stuff
like that.
448
00:18:14,999 --> 00:18:16,334
I'd love to.
449
00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:17,669
Awesome!
450
00:18:17,669 --> 00:18:20,105
And maybe we can go
there together, you know?
451
00:18:20,105 --> 00:18:22,841
Grab coffee and--or cocoa
452
00:18:22,841 --> 00:18:27,412
while we co-co-parent?
453
00:18:27,412 --> 00:18:28,847
I'd love to.
454
00:18:32,425 --> 00:18:33,994
-Bye, baby!
-Bye, Mom!
455
00:18:33,994 --> 00:18:35,295
Love you, baby!
456
00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:37,631
[laughs] She look
good, don't she?
457
00:18:37,631 --> 00:18:40,500
Got them bangs covering
her forehead, everything.
458
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,936
She ain't got no
big forehead, Unc.
459
00:18:42,936 --> 00:18:44,838
Man, I miss that woman.
460
00:18:44,838 --> 00:18:45,872
"That woman"?
461
00:18:45,872 --> 00:18:47,908
That woman is my
wife and your mother.
462
00:18:47,908 --> 00:18:50,877
Let's put some respect
on that, buddy.
463
00:18:50,877 --> 00:18:52,179
What I say?
464
00:18:52,179 --> 00:18:54,214
Yeah, Malik, you gotta respect
the primary breadwinner.
465
00:18:54,214 --> 00:18:56,950
I mean, she's got her credit up,
she's got her bag up.
466
00:18:56,950 --> 00:18:59,986
Hey, CJ, she probably
don't even need you, bruh.
467
00:18:59,986 --> 00:19:03,557
Uh, first of all, player,
I'm the primary breadwinner.
468
00:19:03,557 --> 00:19:07,527
And my wife not only
needs me, but she wants me.
469
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:10,530
Yeah, she wants you
to be domesticated.
470
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:13,833
Says the man shacking up
with his daddy.
471
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:15,602
Yeah, you ain't jumped
no broom or nothing.
472
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:19,039
What you talkin' 'bout?
473
00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:24,344
And besides, if Uncle Curtis can
be domesticated, anybody can.
474
00:19:24,344 --> 00:19:27,147
Hold up, bruh.
Hold up, now.
475
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:29,783
I-I take care of my wife, okay?
476
00:19:29,783 --> 00:19:32,519
If something--
if she ain't livin' right
477
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,888
and ain't feelin' right,
then I'm doing something wrong.
478
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:38,959
You know, you was in there
cutting up cucumbers
479
00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:41,228
and talking about
rubbing feet and whatnot.
480
00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:42,963
I'm like, whoa!
481
00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:45,498
[laughs]
482
00:19:45,498 --> 00:19:47,334
Ha, ha, ha, and?
483
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:53,006
Please, that woman carried my
son all around on those feet.
484
00:19:54,374 --> 00:19:58,345
And she chased your little
bad behind all over the house.
485
00:19:58,345 --> 00:19:59,879
And she paced the
floor for over 30 years
486
00:19:59,879 --> 00:20:03,617
waiting on me to
get home from work.
487
00:20:03,617 --> 00:20:06,853
So, she deserve that and
a whole lot more, I think.
488
00:20:06,853 --> 00:20:10,457
Yeah, I guess I never--
I never saw you that way before.
489
00:20:10,457 --> 00:20:12,926
Mm, well, that's what
the man of the house does.
490
00:20:12,926 --> 00:20:15,528
He makes sure everybody in
the house, under the roof,
491
00:20:15,528 --> 00:20:17,897
got everything they need.
492
00:20:17,897 --> 00:20:21,668
Well, I put Lisa's toenails in
the trash after she cuts them.
493
00:20:21,668 --> 00:20:23,603
What the hell is wrong with you?
494
00:20:23,603 --> 00:20:25,839
-Are you crazy?
-That's disgusting.
495
00:20:25,839 --> 00:20:28,074
I'm ashamed to call
you my son, boy!
496
00:20:28,074 --> 00:20:29,509
Ugh!
497
00:20:29,509 --> 00:20:31,177
What--what's different
from me doing that
498
00:20:31,177 --> 00:20:32,512
than what y'all been doing?
499
00:20:32,512 --> 00:20:34,214
You ain't exchanged
no vows, man,
500
00:20:34,214 --> 00:20:36,349
make an honest woman out of her.
501
00:20:36,349 --> 00:20:39,919
Am--am I the only one that been
down the aisle that tripped up?
502
00:20:39,919 --> 00:20:41,087
Yup.
503
00:20:41,087 --> 00:20:43,523
Look, Malik, if y'all
don't wanna get married,
504
00:20:43,523 --> 00:20:45,158
that's your prerogative.
505
00:20:45,158 --> 00:20:49,029
But you got examples from three
of the best men to ever do it.
506
00:20:49,029 --> 00:20:50,797
Who's the third?
507
00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:52,565
I see two on the couch.
508
00:21:24,776 --> 00:21:26,178
[music]
509
00:21:26,778 --> 00:21:28,447
[music]