1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,839
[laughing]
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,007
Baby, you gotta see this.
3
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:11,077
No, I gotta see-- what's this?
4
00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:13,279
Curtis, what you doin'?
5
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:16,316
Oh, baby, I thought
I'd give you a break,
6
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,617
so I did the laundry for you.
7
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,119
Why, thank you, baby.
8
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,587
Mm-hmm.
9
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:24,424
I didn't know you
could be so special.
10
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:30,597
I really appreciate you doing
the laundry for me, Curtis,
11
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:34,834
but from now on,
can I do the laundry?
12
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,269
Why, baby?
13
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:39,739
Because I can tell that you
washed the whites
14
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,474
with the colors.
15
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:47,614
Ella, you know I am not for
that "separate but equal" mess.
16
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,252
I'll buy you a new blouse, baby.
17
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,354
[knocking on door]
18
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:55,388
Come in!
19
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,456
Stay out!
20
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,125
Oh, hey, Glo.
21
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,094
Ella.
22
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,629
Hey, what's-your-face.
23
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:03,930
Curtis.
24
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,498
What brings you here?
25
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:08,468
You heard there was joy in
the house and came to kill it?
26
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,971
Interesting how the only people
upset about rules
27
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,040
are the ones who break them.
28
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,809
Oh, hell.
29
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,677
So what did I do now, huh?
30
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:21,347
What, I painted something
some unapproved color?
31
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:24,017
Played my Al Green too loud?
32
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:28,455
Ms. Irene been complaining
about me being nekkid again?
33
00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:32,192
I told you -- you come to
this window and look and see
34
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:35,195
if somebody's home, what
you see is what you see.
35
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:37,964
I'm sorry, Glo.
36
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,566
What brings you by?
37
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:42,101
There's a very aggressive
pit bull chained to your
38
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,703
barbecue truck.
39
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:45,839
A pit bull, Curtis?
40
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,240
And you got him chained?
41
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,142
That's inhumane.
42
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:51,578
Yeah, baby, he's out there to --
43
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:54,113
I got a right to
protect my stuff.
44
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:54,948
This is America.
45
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,516
Yes, you do.
46
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,752
But the dog barks and growls
at everybody who walks by.
47
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,554
I mean, I thought he
was gonna kill me.
48
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:05,225
That's a good boy,
that's a good boy.
49
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,126
Babe, we gotta get him
some special treats.
50
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,729
Curtis, get rid of that dog.
51
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,731
Take him back to wherever
you got him from
52
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,566
before he hurts somebody.
53
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,537
Fine, Ella.
54
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,606
I'll find Fang a new home.
55
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:22,442
Thank you for your cooperation.
56
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,077
And I hope you do it soon.
57
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:29,449
I mean, I'd hate to have to
put up "Bad Neighbor" flyers.
58
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,286
Bad neighbor flyers?
59
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:34,954
The hell is that?
60
00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:38,358
You know, I'm joking, of course.
61
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:41,895
Just having a little fun
with Photoshop.
62
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,963
But the dog must go at once.
63
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:45,865
Yeah, whatever --
let me see that.
64
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,434
Hurry up.
65
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:54,107
Glo, you got a little talent.
66
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,109
I mean, I never believed
that dance mess.
67
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,411
But you got some
talent right here.
68
00:02:58,411 --> 00:02:59,312
Give me a couple more.
69
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:00,880
Well, sure.
70
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,116
-Thank you.
-Curtis?
71
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,051
Baby, we almost
out of toilet paper.
72
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,319
Just use these.
73
00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:27,039
[theme music]
74
00:03:30,289 --> 00:03:32,925
Calvin, son, what
are you doing in here?
75
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:34,626
You're supposed to
be cutting the grass.
76
00:03:34,626 --> 00:03:37,629
Oh, the grass is being
cut -- just not by me.
77
00:03:37,629 --> 00:03:40,832
Okay, now, I spent all that time
mentoring you
78
00:03:40,832 --> 00:03:44,136
on the fine art of lawn care,
79
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,837
and you pass it off
to somebody else?
80
00:03:45,837 --> 00:03:47,206
Mentored me?
81
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:49,374
Pops, you gave me a push
lawnmower and told me,
82
00:03:49,374 --> 00:03:52,711
"Whatever you do to that lawn,
I'ma do to your hair."
83
00:03:52,711 --> 00:03:56,748
I still got PTSD from
smelling freshly cut grass.
84
00:03:56,748 --> 00:04:00,052
Yeah, but you always
did a good job, though.
85
00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:02,921
See, a little fear
never hurt anybody.
86
00:04:02,921 --> 00:04:04,389
Pops, I don't know
why you tripping.
87
00:04:04,389 --> 00:04:07,459
I've been working all day,
so I subcontracted the job.
88
00:04:07,459 --> 00:04:09,695
Calvin, what you
gonna pay him with?
89
00:04:10,696 --> 00:04:13,031
Whoa, hey, down.
90
00:04:13,031 --> 00:04:14,266
That dog vicious, man.
91
00:04:14,266 --> 00:04:15,434
What's wrong with him?
92
00:04:15,434 --> 00:04:17,436
That's Fang -- good job, Fang!
93
00:04:17,436 --> 00:04:19,338
Good job, boy!
94
00:04:19,338 --> 00:04:21,106
I told you not to keep
that dog on a chain.
95
00:04:21,106 --> 00:04:23,208
That's probably why
he's so aggressive.
96
00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:26,612
Hey, Cal, done
with the grass, man.
97
00:04:26,612 --> 00:04:28,347
Where them pork chops
we talked about?
98
00:04:28,347 --> 00:04:30,249
Oh, they in the
kitchen waiting for you.
99
00:04:30,249 --> 00:04:32,351
Yeah, my guy, all right.
100
00:04:33,485 --> 00:04:35,554
He works cheap.
101
00:04:36,421 --> 00:04:38,724
Son, I'm loving you more
and more every day.
102
00:04:40,158 --> 00:04:41,727
So how many pork chops
you think he would charge
103
00:04:41,727 --> 00:04:43,895
to shingle the roof?
104
00:04:43,895 --> 00:04:45,464
[knocking on door]
105
00:04:45,464 --> 00:04:46,398
Coming.
106
00:04:47,633 --> 00:04:49,568
Ain't nobody home.
107
00:04:50,736 --> 00:04:52,304
I'll get it.
108
00:04:53,905 --> 00:04:56,174
Whoa, Curtis, Calvin.
109
00:04:56,174 --> 00:04:57,542
Watch out.
110
00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:59,044
What the hell are you
bringing in my house?
111
00:04:59,044 --> 00:05:00,912
Thank you, thank you.
112
00:05:00,912 --> 00:05:03,415
What, Glo?
113
00:05:04,316 --> 00:05:08,987
Curtis, I came to apologize.
114
00:05:08,987 --> 00:05:12,024
I should have approached the
dog situation differently.
115
00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,593
I'm told that not
everyone enjoys being
116
00:05:14,593 --> 00:05:17,596
passive-aggressively
shamed into submission.
117
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,666
Someone had to tell you that?
118
00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:24,670
Truth is, I'm still
grieving my late husband.
119
00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:27,272
Haven't really
been myself lately.
120
00:05:28,206 --> 00:05:32,277
Not to pry, but how did he pass?
121
00:05:32,277 --> 00:05:36,515
He was lost at sea,
never to be found.
122
00:05:36,515 --> 00:05:37,449
That is awful.
123
00:05:37,449 --> 00:05:40,185
They never found his body?
124
00:05:40,185 --> 00:05:42,854
I couldn't even give
him a proper burial.
125
00:05:42,854 --> 00:05:45,590
I am so sorry to hear that, Glo.
126
00:05:47,359 --> 00:05:50,228
Yeah, thoughts and prayers,
thoughts and prayers.
127
00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:52,197
What is Long Pork?
128
00:05:52,197 --> 00:05:58,003
Uh, uh -- Cedric Long is
a butcher friend of mine.
129
00:05:58,003 --> 00:06:01,373
He gave me this pallet of pork.
130
00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:03,408
I thought you could use it
for your barbecue business.
131
00:06:03,408 --> 00:06:05,010
How much pork is in here?
132
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:07,112
Oh, about 210 pounds.
133
00:06:08,947 --> 00:06:10,949
210 pounds?
134
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:13,518
You can insult me
some more, please.
135
00:06:14,453 --> 00:06:18,190
Glo, thank you, for all
of this meat, thank you.
136
00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:20,125
That is so generous of you.
137
00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:22,127
Man, these so good, man.
138
00:06:22,127 --> 00:06:24,062
Good looking out, Cal, for real.
139
00:06:24,062 --> 00:06:26,631
Hey, from the other day,
how you doin'?
140
00:06:26,631 --> 00:06:30,001
Oh, look at you
shining out here.
141
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:32,537
Blinding people, yeah.
142
00:06:32,537 --> 00:06:33,638
I'm glowing.
143
00:06:33,638 --> 00:06:35,874
Oh, yes you are, you
most certainly are.
144
00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:39,845
Yeah, all right, now.
145
00:06:39,845 --> 00:06:41,580
Let me find out.
146
00:06:42,447 --> 00:06:44,249
You know, you still have to
come by and try my meatloaf.
147
00:06:44,249 --> 00:06:46,151
Meatloaf?
148
00:06:46,151 --> 00:06:47,652
Aren't you a vegetarian?
149
00:06:47,652 --> 00:06:50,489
Oh, yes, yes, sure, but
just happened to have
150
00:06:50,489 --> 00:06:53,558
a little meat lying around.
151
00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:56,328
You let me know if you need
some more meat lying around.
152
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,029
Hey, man, are you okay?
153
00:06:58,029 --> 00:07:00,098
Oh, I'm good.
154
00:07:00,098 --> 00:07:02,601
Just saw my future
baby sugar mama.
155
00:07:02,601 --> 00:07:06,405
[music]
156
00:07:07,038 --> 00:07:09,941
Coming, coming.
157
00:07:09,941 --> 00:07:11,009
Hey, what up, dog.
158
00:07:11,009 --> 00:07:12,010
She here yet?
159
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:13,145
Is who here?
160
00:07:13,145 --> 00:07:14,312
And why are you here?
161
00:07:14,312 --> 00:07:15,514
Man, come on, man.
162
00:07:15,514 --> 00:07:17,549
Don't act like that --
Ms. Higgenbottom.
163
00:07:17,549 --> 00:07:19,618
Told your mom I was
cleaning out the gutters.
164
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,355
Peanut, what's going on?
165
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:25,223
You know what's going on.
166
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:27,325
I'm trying to get on
with old girl.
167
00:07:27,325 --> 00:07:28,527
Ms. Higgenbottom?
168
00:07:28,527 --> 00:07:29,828
Yeah.
169
00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:31,730
You're trying to get
with that old lady?
170
00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:34,800
Look, she's not just a
regular old lady, okay?
171
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,401
I looked her up.
172
00:07:36,401 --> 00:07:39,004
Yeah, she used to be a former
Solid Gold dancer and
173
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:41,406
she made a little money doing
appearances and stuff.
174
00:07:41,406 --> 00:07:43,809
But then she got a fat-ass
life insurance check
175
00:07:43,809 --> 00:07:46,144
when her husband died.
176
00:07:46,144 --> 00:07:47,813
Yeah, I'm about to get paid.
177
00:07:48,647 --> 00:07:49,648
You know what?
178
00:07:49,648 --> 00:07:51,550
I never pegged you
as a gold digger.
179
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:53,985
Whoa, first of all,
I'm not a gold digger.
180
00:07:53,985 --> 00:07:56,354
I'm just a man who wants to find
a woman with enough money
181
00:07:56,354 --> 00:07:58,557
to take care of me so I
never have to work again.
182
00:07:58,557 --> 00:08:01,827
That's the definition
of a gold digger.
183
00:08:01,827 --> 00:08:03,361
Why are you so negative?
184
00:08:03,361 --> 00:08:06,431
And look, that's not the
only reason I'm interested.
185
00:08:06,431 --> 00:08:09,501
I happen to actually
appreciate older women.
186
00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:11,503
Oh, so she's a fetish.
187
00:08:11,503 --> 00:08:13,271
Man, I don't know what she into.
188
00:08:13,271 --> 00:08:15,006
That's what I'm
trying to find out.
189
00:08:16,842 --> 00:08:17,909
Peanut.
190
00:08:17,909 --> 00:08:19,110
Hey.
191
00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,779
Hello, what brought you by?
192
00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:23,215
Oh, you know, I was cutting
the grass earlier,
193
00:08:23,215 --> 00:08:24,749
and I just looked up
and I noticed
194
00:08:24,749 --> 00:08:27,519
your gutters were cluttered,
and it had a lot of stuff.
195
00:08:27,519 --> 00:08:30,155
I said, let me go ahead
and get those gutters clear.
196
00:08:30,155 --> 00:08:32,424
Thank you so much.
197
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:35,894
Calvin, you can learn a
thing or two from your friend.
198
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:38,597
Yeah, it's the truth, Cal.
199
00:08:38,597 --> 00:08:40,131
You could learn something.
200
00:08:40,131 --> 00:08:41,032
[knocking on door]
201
00:08:41,032 --> 00:08:42,901
Oh, I got it, I got it.
202
00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:52,711
Why, hello, Ms. Higgenbottom.
203
00:08:52,711 --> 00:08:53,578
Hello.
204
00:08:53,578 --> 00:08:56,114
What a pleasant surprise.
205
00:08:56,114 --> 00:08:58,884
Now, you gotta tell me why
they call you Higgenbottom.
206
00:08:58,884 --> 00:09:00,752
Because it's my name.
207
00:09:00,752 --> 00:09:02,020
Oh, okay, okay.
208
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:04,189
I thought that's what they
called you in the street.
209
00:09:04,189 --> 00:09:07,859
Yeah, I don't think I got to
properly introduce myself
210
00:09:07,859 --> 00:09:08,894
to you.
211
00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:10,929
-I'm Clayton.
-Okay.
212
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:13,331
You can call me Peanut.
213
00:09:13,331 --> 00:09:16,568
-Peanut?
-[Peanut] Yeah.
214
00:09:16,568 --> 00:09:19,905
Well, I just came by to
drop off this apple pie.
215
00:09:19,905 --> 00:09:21,239
Oh, you made that?
216
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:22,774
Well, yes, of course I did.
217
00:09:22,774 --> 00:09:25,210
Let me find out.
218
00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:27,078
I hope you and Curtis enjoy it.
219
00:09:28,513 --> 00:09:31,716
Ooh, Calvin, that
smells delicious.
220
00:09:31,716 --> 00:09:32,484
Thank you.
221
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:33,451
Glo, you gotta stop it.
222
00:09:33,451 --> 00:09:34,753
[Peanut clearing throat]
223
00:09:37,022 --> 00:09:38,924
I just was in the garden
earlier and I noticed
224
00:09:38,924 --> 00:09:40,358
this beautiful flower.
225
00:09:40,358 --> 00:09:42,894
It reminded me so much of you,
that I just wanted to give it
226
00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:45,564
to you as a token of
my appreciation.
227
00:09:45,564 --> 00:09:47,933
You know, beautiful women
deserve beautiful things.
228
00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:49,935
Oh, well, thank you.
229
00:09:49,935 --> 00:09:51,436
Thank you so much.
230
00:09:51,436 --> 00:09:54,239
So sweet of you
with your young self.
231
00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:58,343
So what I gotta do to
get a piece of pie?
232
00:09:58,343 --> 00:10:01,179
-Peanut.
-What, man?
233
00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:04,883
[music]
234
00:10:04,883 --> 00:10:09,688
Ooh, Mr. Payne, I heard
you were barbecuing out here.
235
00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:12,090
I need to get a
lesson and a plate.
236
00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:13,224
Hey, Miranda.
237
00:10:13,224 --> 00:10:14,693
You're a little early.
238
00:10:14,693 --> 00:10:16,895
I just got my fire right
and just putting the meat on.
239
00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:19,898
Where did you get
all this meat from? Smells good.
240
00:10:19,898 --> 00:10:23,735
Oh, you know the new president
of Prosperous Pines, Gloria?
241
00:10:23,735 --> 00:10:25,804
Oh, yeah, she's
the widow, right?
242
00:10:25,804 --> 00:10:28,473
Yeah, well, we bumped heads.
243
00:10:28,473 --> 00:10:30,141
She talking about I can't
keep my vicious dog
244
00:10:30,141 --> 00:10:31,776
chained to my food truck.
245
00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:33,011
What?
246
00:10:33,011 --> 00:10:34,079
This is your house.
247
00:10:34,079 --> 00:10:35,246
This is America.
248
00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:37,315
That's exactly what I said.
249
00:10:37,315 --> 00:10:38,383
Huh.
250
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:39,484
Well, it smells good.
251
00:10:39,484 --> 00:10:41,519
I know it do.
252
00:10:41,519 --> 00:10:43,989
I'ma tell you what, she
sure know how to apologize.
253
00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:46,224
Will you look at the
marbling on this meat?
254
00:10:46,224 --> 00:10:47,492
Mmmm.
255
00:10:47,492 --> 00:10:48,627
My goodness.
256
00:10:49,728 --> 00:10:52,097
What if she's
trying to prank you?
257
00:10:52,097 --> 00:10:53,465
Prank me?
258
00:10:53,465 --> 00:10:55,934
Yeah, you said the two of
you bumped heads, right?
259
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:57,602
Well, what if she gave you this
meat and there's something
260
00:10:57,602 --> 00:10:59,671
wrong with it, just to
get back at you?
261
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,741
That's ridiculous, Miranda.
262
00:11:02,741 --> 00:11:06,144
This is from a reputable
distributor, Long Pork.
263
00:11:06,144 --> 00:11:07,712
I've never heard of him.
264
00:11:07,712 --> 00:11:09,180
Did you look him up online?
265
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,148
Did you check the reviews?
266
00:11:10,148 --> 00:11:11,549
Do they even exist?
267
00:11:13,151 --> 00:11:14,019
Okay, Miranda.
268
00:11:14,019 --> 00:11:15,220
Okay.
269
00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:17,455
Yeah, I might need you to
take off your earrings
270
00:11:17,455 --> 00:11:19,157
and get some Vaseline.
271
00:11:19,157 --> 00:11:20,291
Listen, you know I got you.
272
00:11:20,291 --> 00:11:22,460
I need you to
jump on this broad.
273
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:24,095
This old broad.
274
00:11:25,296 --> 00:11:27,399
Long Pork...
275
00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:30,402
Ooh, how long till
these ribs are ready?
276
00:11:30,402 --> 00:11:31,903
Uh!
277
00:11:31,903 --> 00:11:34,606
What, what, what does it say?
278
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:36,775
-I typed in Long Pork.
-Okay.
279
00:11:36,775 --> 00:11:39,978
-And it took me to WikiSpy.
-So?
280
00:11:39,978 --> 00:11:44,449
It says that Long Pork is
another name cannibals use
281
00:11:44,449 --> 00:11:46,851
for human meat?!
282
00:11:48,019 --> 00:11:49,187
Oh!
283
00:11:51,523 --> 00:11:54,292
And I said it smells good.
284
00:11:54,292 --> 00:11:56,428
That's her husband!
285
00:11:56,428 --> 00:11:57,996
No!
286
00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:02,059
-Baby!
-Curtis?
287
00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:03,727
You're alive.
288
00:12:03,727 --> 00:12:04,728
I'm right where you left me.
289
00:12:04,728 --> 00:12:06,764
Why are you surprised?
290
00:12:06,764 --> 00:12:09,500
Because there's a
Jeffrey Dahmer in the midst.
291
00:12:10,534 --> 00:12:13,470
The neighborhood
is not safe, baby.
292
00:12:13,470 --> 00:12:15,439
I need to move.
293
00:12:15,439 --> 00:12:18,509
I look too delicious
to stay around here.
294
00:12:18,509 --> 00:12:19,943
What are you rambling about?
295
00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:23,347
Ooh, Miss Ella, the meat that
that lady gave you all
296
00:12:23,347 --> 00:12:24,915
is human flesh.
297
00:12:24,915 --> 00:12:26,183
Human flesh.
298
00:12:26,183 --> 00:12:27,317
Oh, really?
299
00:12:27,317 --> 00:12:28,352
Mm-hmm.
300
00:12:28,352 --> 00:12:29,687
What makes you say that?
301
00:12:29,687 --> 00:12:33,424
I know because on the box
it says Long Pork, okay?
302
00:12:33,424 --> 00:12:38,328
We looked it up, and Long Pork
is another name for human flesh.
303
00:12:38,328 --> 00:12:39,930
Yes.
304
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:41,732
Apparently we taste like pork.
305
00:12:41,732 --> 00:12:43,367
That's what they say.
306
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:44,501
Looked it up.
307
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:46,437
Who is "they"?
308
00:12:46,437 --> 00:12:48,972
Baby, it's probably her husband.
309
00:12:48,972 --> 00:12:50,941
We need to alert
the authorities.
310
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:52,209
Mm-hmm.
311
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:57,147
We need to call the APD,
the CIA, the FBI, the LMNOP.
312
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:59,583
Wait, I don't know that
last one, who's that?
313
00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:00,918
Curtis --
314
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:02,252
I don't know, but I'm
sure they got guns.
315
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:04,388
Do you know how crazy
you're going to sound
316
00:13:04,388 --> 00:13:07,257
if you call the authorities?
317
00:13:07,257 --> 00:13:10,294
Crazy like a terrified fox.
318
00:13:10,294 --> 00:13:14,865
Besides the name Long Pork,
how do you know this woman
319
00:13:14,865 --> 00:13:18,635
is trying to feed you
her late husband?
320
00:13:18,635 --> 00:13:22,840
Because it's the only
logical conclusion, Ella.
321
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,542
From millions of possibilities,
322
00:13:25,542 --> 00:13:31,048
including Glo genuinely
wants to apologize,
323
00:13:31,048 --> 00:13:35,953
cannibalism is the
only conclusion you arrive at?
324
00:13:37,821 --> 00:13:42,292
Well, I guess it sounds a
little weird when you say it
325
00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:44,695
in that tone.
326
00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:47,030
It makes me sound paranoid.
327
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:52,136
Curtis, you sound
nuttier than squirrel crap.
328
00:13:52,136 --> 00:13:53,504
Hey.
329
00:13:53,504 --> 00:13:56,340
That woman did not kill anybody.
330
00:13:56,340 --> 00:14:01,411
Miss Ella, how well do we
really know this woman?
331
00:14:01,411 --> 00:14:05,716
How can you prove she isn't
serving her dead husband up
332
00:14:05,716 --> 00:14:07,684
by the pound?
333
00:14:07,684 --> 00:14:09,353
I can't prove
something like that.
334
00:14:09,353 --> 00:14:11,889
So you sayin' she did it!
335
00:14:11,889 --> 00:14:14,992
You know what, hold on.
336
00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,593
[sniffing]
337
00:14:16,593 --> 00:14:18,128
What are you doing?
338
00:14:18,128 --> 00:14:21,398
I'm smelling for liquor or
either you just plain crazy.
339
00:14:21,398 --> 00:14:23,400
You go on, Curtis,
call the police.
340
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,070
But don't you even look at
me when she sues you
341
00:14:27,070 --> 00:14:28,605
for defamation.
342
00:14:28,605 --> 00:14:35,746
[music]
343
00:14:37,047 --> 00:14:38,549
Is there anybody else in here?
344
00:14:38,549 --> 00:14:40,083
Should there be?
345
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,719
No, no one else is
here, Uncle Curtis.
346
00:14:42,719 --> 00:14:44,488
What can we do for
you, Uncle Curtis?
347
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:46,390
You know that woman, Glo?
348
00:14:46,390 --> 00:14:49,927
She's a murderer and she
needs to be locked up in jail.
349
00:14:49,927 --> 00:14:51,361
All right, hold on.
350
00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:52,429
Let's start back over.
351
00:14:52,429 --> 00:14:54,031
What's going on?
352
00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:57,768
Okay, you know how she said
that her husband was missing?
353
00:14:57,768 --> 00:14:59,770
Yeah, lost at sea,
we've all heard the story.
354
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:02,506
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, fake news.
355
00:15:02,506 --> 00:15:05,008
The truth is, she murdered
that man
356
00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:08,412
and she been trying
to feed him to me.
357
00:15:08,412 --> 00:15:11,215
That nice old lady, the
one with the dancer's body?
358
00:15:11,982 --> 00:15:15,919
If I hear that Solid Gold BS
one more time.
359
00:15:15,919 --> 00:15:19,590
Uncle Curtis, it's hard to
believe that she murdered
360
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:24,595
her husband, got away with it,
and you want me to believe
361
00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:26,263
that she tried to
feed him to you?
362
00:15:26,263 --> 00:15:27,264
That's a stretch, man.
363
00:15:27,264 --> 00:15:28,765
Is it really?
364
00:15:28,765 --> 00:15:32,336
Well, she gave me 210
pounds of meat, right?
365
00:15:32,336 --> 00:15:34,805
I went on her MyFace page.
366
00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:37,841
See that big fella right there?
367
00:15:37,841 --> 00:15:39,943
That's her husband.
368
00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:42,779
That look about 210 to me.
369
00:15:42,779 --> 00:15:44,548
Uncle Curtis, that
doesn't mean anything.
370
00:15:44,548 --> 00:15:46,116
You still need proof.
371
00:15:46,116 --> 00:15:47,584
Exactly.
372
00:15:47,584 --> 00:15:49,152
If she really is a murderer,
373
00:15:49,152 --> 00:15:51,288
you're gonna need
some hard evidence.
374
00:15:51,288 --> 00:15:53,090
I got all that meat.
375
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:55,459
She already said she got
that from somewhere else.
376
00:15:55,459 --> 00:15:57,261
What you need is a confession.
377
00:15:57,261 --> 00:15:58,428
You're right.
378
00:15:58,428 --> 00:15:59,263
We need an inside man.
379
00:15:59,263 --> 00:16:01,999
[knocking on door]
380
00:16:01,999 --> 00:16:04,601
Somebody go undercover
with a wire that can
381
00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:06,937
catch her confession.
382
00:16:06,937 --> 00:16:09,706
Who in the world is
gonna be that dumb?
383
00:16:11,008 --> 00:16:13,844
-Hey, C.J.
-What up, 'Nut?
384
00:16:13,844 --> 00:16:15,312
-What up, baby?
-My man.
385
00:16:15,312 --> 00:16:18,181
Good, Mr. Payne,
Malik, what up, dog?
386
00:16:18,181 --> 00:16:19,316
What's happenin'?
387
00:16:19,316 --> 00:16:21,151
Delicious, from the club?
388
00:16:21,151 --> 00:16:22,419
Hey, 'Nut.
389
00:16:22,419 --> 00:16:23,420
What I'm tellin' you.
390
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:24,354
I see you, hey.
391
00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:30,193
Mr. Payne, um, Calvin said you
might be able to help me
392
00:16:30,193 --> 00:16:33,330
with some advice on
bagging older women?
393
00:16:36,867 --> 00:16:39,369
Step aside, C.J.
394
00:16:39,369 --> 00:16:41,338
I think we got our man.
395
00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:45,275
Peanut, you remember the plan.
396
00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:49,780
Yeah, all I gotta do is seduce
her and get her to admit
397
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:51,381
she killed her husband.
398
00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:53,884
Right, but once you get her
confession, we're gonna
399
00:16:53,884 --> 00:16:57,154
jump out, hold her down
while you call the police.
400
00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:59,856
Okay, but like, do I at least
got time to get her
401
00:16:59,856 --> 00:17:01,892
ATM card or something?
402
00:17:01,892 --> 00:17:05,429
I'm down to help catch a
killer, but just not for free.
403
00:17:07,564 --> 00:17:09,132
[knocking on door]
404
00:17:12,402 --> 00:17:13,804
-Hey!
-Hey.
405
00:17:13,804 --> 00:17:16,173
Let the festivities begin.
406
00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:19,776
I thought you was
throwing Ella a birthday party.
407
00:17:19,776 --> 00:17:22,045
Where is everyone?
408
00:17:22,045 --> 00:17:23,947
Is everything okay?
409
00:17:23,947 --> 00:17:27,284
Sure, sure, it's a small party.
410
00:17:27,284 --> 00:17:29,052
Please, let me
show you to the back.
411
00:17:29,052 --> 00:17:30,654
Come on, you lead the way.
412
00:17:30,654 --> 00:17:31,788
Birthday, birthday.
413
00:17:31,788 --> 00:17:33,156
Hey, hey, ooh.
414
00:17:34,257 --> 00:17:35,959
Here she comes.
415
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,394
[Gloria] Birthday, birthday.
416
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:40,564
Surprise.
417
00:17:40,564 --> 00:17:44,301
Well, well, well, we meet again.
418
00:17:44,301 --> 00:17:45,535
Well, how are you?
419
00:17:45,535 --> 00:17:46,403
Get that chair for you.
420
00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:47,838
Oh, it's all good.
421
00:17:47,838 --> 00:17:49,873
Mr. Walnut, Chestnut?
422
00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:51,208
I remember it's
some kind of nut.
423
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:56,179
Oh, it's Peanut, the most
versatile of all the nuts.
424
00:17:56,179 --> 00:17:59,416
Actually, peanuts aren't
nuts, they're legumes.
425
00:17:59,416 --> 00:18:01,351
-Legumes?
-Mm-hmm.
426
00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:05,188
Wow, I was today years
old when I found that out.
427
00:18:05,188 --> 00:18:08,458
That's crazy, 'cause
they got nut in the name.
428
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:12,829
Yes, even though nut is in the
name, it comes from a seed pod.
429
00:18:12,829 --> 00:18:15,599
That's what legumes mean.
430
00:18:15,599 --> 00:18:18,035
Look, I need a woman that
can teach me something.
431
00:18:18,035 --> 00:18:19,469
I like learning
something from women.
432
00:18:19,469 --> 00:18:22,272
You might need to
teach me something new.
433
00:18:22,272 --> 00:18:24,741
Okay, what's going on here?
434
00:18:24,741 --> 00:18:27,411
Oh yeah, you feel it too, huh?
435
00:18:27,411 --> 00:18:28,745
Feeling what?
436
00:18:28,745 --> 00:18:31,148
I have shoes older than you.
437
00:18:31,148 --> 00:18:33,750
But you know what they say,
age ain't nothing but a number.
438
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:37,120
So is 911 if you
try to get fresh.
439
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,222
Listen, why are you tripping?
440
00:18:39,222 --> 00:18:41,625
Yeah, I'm young, but
I got a good heart.
441
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:45,495
I got a good spare kidney
in case the need arises.
442
00:18:45,495 --> 00:18:48,065
And I don't snitch.
443
00:18:48,065 --> 00:18:50,834
You can tell me your
deepest darkest secret
444
00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:54,171
and I promise you,
I won't tell a soul.
445
00:18:54,171 --> 00:18:56,640
And what kind of
secret would I tell you?
446
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,075
Anything, I'm all ears.
447
00:18:58,075 --> 00:18:59,943
Maybe you want to tell me
about cheating on your taxes.
448
00:18:59,943 --> 00:19:01,945
Maybe you been
stealing from a store.
449
00:19:01,945 --> 00:19:03,213
Or maybe you murdered
your husband,
450
00:19:03,213 --> 00:19:05,015
tried to feed it
to your neighbors?
451
00:19:06,149 --> 00:19:08,585
I killed my husband and what?!
452
00:19:08,585 --> 00:19:10,754
Got her!
453
00:19:10,754 --> 00:19:11,755
That's not a confession.
454
00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:13,390
You jumped out too soon.
455
00:19:14,925 --> 00:19:16,893
Okay, uh, sorry
about that, y'all.
456
00:19:16,893 --> 00:19:18,628
Continue on.
457
00:19:19,062 --> 00:19:22,032
What is going on back here?
458
00:19:22,032 --> 00:19:24,134
Hey, happy birthday!
459
00:19:24,134 --> 00:19:26,903
Thank you, but
it's not my birthday.
460
00:19:26,903 --> 00:19:28,004
Who told you that?
461
00:19:28,004 --> 00:19:29,673
Well...
462
00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:33,743
Curtis, why did
you tell her that?
463
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:35,579
[music]
464
00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:39,325
If you searched Long Pork
of Decatur,
465
00:19:39,325 --> 00:19:42,328
you would have found my
friend's butcher shop.
466
00:19:42,328 --> 00:19:43,562
[All] Oh.
467
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:48,967
But -- why 210 pounds?
468
00:19:48,967 --> 00:19:51,437
Isn't that an odd number?
469
00:19:51,437 --> 00:19:53,739
Not if you consider
the meat was processed.
470
00:19:53,739 --> 00:19:59,511
I'm guessing the hog was
close to 300 before then.
471
00:19:59,511 --> 00:20:02,281
Do you really think
I'm capable of murder?
472
00:20:02,281 --> 00:20:05,017
That's them -- I never
thought that.
473
00:20:05,017 --> 00:20:08,153
You know what, you can stop
your flirting now.
474
00:20:08,153 --> 00:20:09,755
Your undercover mission is over.
475
00:20:09,755 --> 00:20:12,725
Oh, no, no no,
I wasn't flirting.
476
00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:14,493
I'm actually attracted to you.
477
00:20:15,794 --> 00:20:18,931
-Really?
-Oh, yeah.
478
00:20:18,931 --> 00:20:20,632
Hmmm.
479
00:20:20,632 --> 00:20:25,237
Glo, I'm sorry I accused you
of killing your husband
480
00:20:25,237 --> 00:20:27,306
for the insurance money.
481
00:20:27,306 --> 00:20:30,342
I never received
any insurance money.
482
00:20:30,342 --> 00:20:32,711
I had it all
disbursed to charity.
483
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,880
You gave it all away?
484
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,814
Yes.
485
00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:38,751
So you ain't got nothing?
486
00:20:38,751 --> 00:20:41,620
I live off my pension nowadays.
487
00:20:42,821 --> 00:20:46,725
But, you know, I mean, about
you being attracted to me?
488
00:20:46,725 --> 00:20:49,027
Nah, I'm good.
489
00:20:49,027 --> 00:20:51,897
I can get a young, broke chick.
490
00:20:51,897 --> 00:20:53,699
They out there by the dozens.
491
00:20:53,699 --> 00:20:55,000
[music]
492
00:20:56,077 --> 00:20:59,581
[music]
493
00:21:25,401 --> 00:21:29,739
[music]