1 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,212 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 2 00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,050 - Hi. - Hey, Jeff. 3 00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,717 Just wanted to return this. 4 00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:12,179 We borrowed it from your lovely fiancée. 5 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:15,473 Oh,The Notebook. 6 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,976 Yeah,The Notebook. 7 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:20,478 Audrey made me watch it. 8 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:25,525 If you don't mind, I'm gonna get a beer and pour it in my eyes. 9 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:26,818 Hey, Jeff. 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,821 Hey, Jennifer, just returning your movie. 11 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,199 Didn't it make you want to cry? 12 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,117 Constantly. 13 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:37,995 Tell Audrey we're saving the date for your birthday party. 14 00:00:37,995 --> 00:00:39,831 Great. It should be fun. 15 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,960 That party's gonna suck. 16 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,128 Why? 17 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,879 Because I have to pay for it, 18 00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:48,090 plus spend the whole night 19 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,217 worrying about people spilling things, 20 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,218 stealin' my stuff. 21 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,010 Your friends sound really cool. 22 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:56,056 Why don't you just tell Audrey you don't want a party? 23 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,808 She loves throwing parties. It makes her happy. 24 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,685 And if she's happy... 25 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,563 that's good for my birthday deal. 26 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:07,192 Oh, yeah, your birthday deal. 27 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,862 One year I complained too much. She got mad. 28 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,030 Not good for the birthday deal. 29 00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:15,783 You can't keep talking about the birthday deal 30 00:01:15,783 --> 00:01:17,952 without telling me what it is. 31 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,455 What does Audrey do for you every year? 32 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,708 I wish I could tell ya... Can't. 33 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:27,962 If Audrey found out I told someone, the deal would be off. 34 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:29,256 I won't tell her. 35 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,089 Now that we're neighbors, 36 00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:34,302 this is the kind of guy stuff we should be talking about. 37 00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:39,056 Instead of worrying about my birthday deal, 38 00:01:39,056 --> 00:01:40,642 why don't you get one of your own? 39 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,227 Because I don't need one. 40 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,438 With Jennifer, every day is my birthday. 41 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,607 Every day used to be my birthday, too. 42 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:51,027 Could I have been as stupid as you are? 43 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:54,322 If I needed a birthday deal, I could get one. 44 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:56,574 Don't try to run with the big boy. 45 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,368 I've been married for twelve years. 46 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:01,621 You basically threw a ring at a stranger. 47 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,123 She's not a stranger. 48 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,291 We've been together for seven months. 49 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,460 - Plus, I didn't even get her a ring yet. - Why not? 50 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,836 I don't know what she likes. 51 00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:11,298 We've only known each other for seven months. 52 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:15,218 Wow. You clearly know what you're doing. 53 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,389 Hey, not only could I get a deal, 54 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:23,059 I could get one that's better than yours. 55 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,352 What's yours? 56 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,103 Nice try. 57 00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:26,938 I'm gettin' a deal. 58 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,732 And then every year when I'm doin' it, 59 00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:31,984 I'm gonna think of you. 60 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,493 I--I didn't say that. 61 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,330 I didn't hear it. 62 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:51,338 ♪♪ How many ways to say I love you ♪♪ 63 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:57,385 ♪♪ How many ways to say that I'm not scared ♪♪ 64 00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,096 ♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪ 65 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:02,557 ♪♪ There is no denying ♪♪ 66 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:06,769 ♪♪ I can't wait for me and you ♪♪ 67 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,817 A birthday deal, huh? 68 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,194 Yeah. Jeff's got one with Audrey. 69 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,196 Yeah, I like it. 70 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,116 It's like a dirty pre-nup. 71 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,577 First I'm just gonna float the idea, 72 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,536 see if she's receptive. 73 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,789 - Then we gotta figure out what to ask for. - We? 74 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,459 Yes, I'm in. You're welcome. 75 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:33,921 Now, people's sex lives don't seem to get wilder 76 00:03:33,921 --> 00:03:35,465 when they get married. 77 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,926 My sex life with Jennifer is fine. 78 00:03:38,926 --> 00:03:40,470 Just ask our neighbors. 79 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:44,140 Oh, you bring them over to watch? 80 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,142 No. No, they just heard... 81 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,935 through pre-war concrete walls. 82 00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:50,897 I'm talkin' four solid inches. 83 00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:03,368 We all agree your fiancée is a horn dog, 84 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,828 which is why I think we should ask 85 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:09,832 for the "Manitoba Sno-Cone." 86 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:10,750 Stop saying "we." 87 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:14,003 And I'm not asking for anything off your list 88 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,881 of humorously named sex acts. 89 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:21,052 Why not? It took me ten years to fill this thing out. 90 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,138 Ten beautiful years. 91 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:30,227 See if she's up for the "Peppermint Bobsled." 92 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:34,231 No, I can't do that. I love this person. 93 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,402 And this would ruin Christmas forever. 94 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,487 It doesn't have to be a candy cane. 95 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:44,033 It would help if we knew what Jeff's deal with Audrey was. 96 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,868 What does that giant gorilla get? 97 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,746 I asked him, but he wouldn't tell me. 98 00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:50,582 What's that? 99 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,583 He wouldn't tell me. 100 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,419 I'm sorry. I thought we were living in America. 101 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,379 Has Jeff heard of something called 102 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,922 the Freedom of Information Act? 103 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:02,302 He told me that if Audrey finds out that he told anyone, 104 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,470 the deal would be off. 105 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,639 Fine. I'll find out without anybody knowing. 106 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,141 Far be it from me to jeopardize whatever 107 00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,603 he does to his wife annually. 108 00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:18,025 Uh, Russell, you don't know that's what it is. 109 00:05:21,028 --> 00:05:23,823 "Annually." 110 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,994 Oh. 111 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,667 Audrey, I forgot to tell you-- 112 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,961 Russell overheard me talking about Jeff's party, 113 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,964 and I didn't know if you were planning on inviting him. 114 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,216 Yeah, he's comin'. 115 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,677 Not my idea. 116 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,764 So, what are you planning for the party? 117 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,724 Oh, the usual Jeff-fest-- 118 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,435 beer, shots, chips, hot wings, 119 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,604 stadium rock on the stereo. 120 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,774 Basically the home version of Hooters. 121 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,568 Not the party I'd throw, but whatever. 122 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,237 Why don't you throw the party you want to? 123 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:04,906 It's Jeff's birthday, you know? 124 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,659 He doesn't even care what kind of party it is. 125 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,577 He doesn't...care what kind of party it is-- 126 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,038 Why don't I throw the kind of party I want? 127 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,207 Exactly. It doesn't have to be Jeff-Fest. 128 00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:18,836 Why not "Audrey-gras"? 129 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,381 'Cause that means "fat Audrey." 130 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,223 Hey. You know what I just realized? 131 00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:33,100 My birthday's coming up. 132 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,770 You know, in the seven months we've been together, 133 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,271 we haven't had a birthday yet. 134 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:41,484 Two big, fun days to look forward to. 135 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:42,735 I'm glad you feel that way. 136 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:47,406 What do you think about doing something really special for me? 137 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,867 Sure. What did you have in mind? 138 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:53,329 Well, something in the bedroom department, 139 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:57,500 a little something I'd get annually. 140 00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:01,838 Once a year. 141 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:06,133 Why? Is there something you want to do that we're not doing? 142 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,803 No, no. I have no complaints. 143 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:12,306 Well, that one time you bit my shoulder 144 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:13,516 and you drew blood. 145 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:18,605 But, hey, you know? That's just the cost of doing business. 146 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:23,400 I just thought it would be fun to have a special... 147 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,402 birth--birthday deal. 148 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,824 That does sound fun. I want one. 149 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:30,825 You do? 150 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,994 - Mm-hmm. - That's great! 151 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,997 That's--I love you! 152 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,708 Oh, and let's say nothing's off-limits. 153 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,085 Definitely let's say that. 154 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:43,630 Okay. 155 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,758 I am going to think about mine while I'm showering. 156 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,469 Okay. I'm going to think about you showering 157 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:53,430 while I'm thinking about mine. 158 00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:54,932 Two birthday deals. 159 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:58,227 Suck on that, Jeff. 160 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:12,033 If you're serious about buying I'll get up, but... 161 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,702 it's not very comfortable. 162 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,581 Hey... 163 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,456 where are the girls? 164 00:08:19,456 --> 00:08:21,834 They're shopping for mojito glasses. 165 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:25,171 They're doing a whole Cuban theme for my party. 166 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,463 Doesn't sound like your style. 167 00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:30,051 What do I care? As long as Audrey's in a great mood 168 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,970 at the end of the party. 169 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,807 Which brings me to my news. 170 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,768 I am now the proud owner of not one... 171 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:42,271 but two birthday deals. 172 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,189 Two. No way. 173 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,900 That's right. What's the matter? 174 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,904 Is my two a little hard for you to swallow? 175 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,249 Anyway, uh... 176 00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:04,752 I'm gettin' one, and Jennifer wants one, too. 177 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:09,381 And get this: Nothing is off limits. 178 00:09:09,381 --> 00:09:11,801 [CHUCKLING] 179 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:12,509 Yeah. 180 00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:15,512 You're playing with fire. 181 00:09:15,512 --> 00:09:16,723 How so? 182 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,099 I didn't get a birthday deal 183 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,309 until I'd been married for six years 184 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,603 and our relationship was stable. 185 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,938 You've known Jennifer for what, twenty minutes? 186 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:28,943 Do you really think you're ready to hear Jennifer's wildest, craziest fantasy? 187 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:29,902 Yeah! 188 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,571 The crazier, the better. 189 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,865 Really? 190 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:38,620 Aren't you worried she'll want something so disturbing 191 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,454 you won't be able to look at her 192 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,916 when you're having brunch with your parents? 193 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,337 Come on... 194 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,339 I mean, how weird can it be? 195 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,300 Well, apparently nothing's off limits. 196 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:56,596 By the way, whose idea was that? 197 00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,724 Hers. 198 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,184 Like I said, you're swimming with sharks. 199 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,896 You said I was playing with fire. 200 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:05,855 You are... 201 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,608 and the sharks don't like it. 202 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:14,989 You're right. 203 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:18,868 If Jennifer asks for something really disturbing for her birthday deal, 204 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,828 I don't know how I'll handle it. 205 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:24,081 My guess is, not well. 206 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,709 Maybe I'm worried about nothing. 207 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,878 What's the worst she can ask for? 208 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,798 Props, you in a cheerleader outfit, 209 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,216 a third party involved, 210 00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,970 not necessarily a lady. 211 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:43,810 It's not that I'm scared to do something kinky or different. 212 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,644 I've done plenty of that. 213 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,898 What's bothering me is that Jennifer's going to be my wife, 214 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,733 the mother of my children. 215 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,902 We're gonna grow old together. 216 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,863 What kind of kinky stuff? 217 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,490 - Hi, honey. - Hi, sweetie. 218 00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,366 Come with me a second. 219 00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:02,369 I wanna show you this French press I wanna buy. 220 00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:03,663 French press, what's that? 221 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,332 What're we gonna do with that? 222 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,295 What's that? 223 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:13,047 It's stuff for your party. 224 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,298 - Both carts? - Yeah. 225 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,467 We got this really cool pitcher for the mojitos, 226 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,470 and some funky little glasses, and glass swizzle sticks, 227 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,388 and these bowls with palm trees on them. 228 00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:25,852 Why do we need all this stuff, and what's this costing me? 229 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:26,978 I don't care. 230 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,063 For once I would like to throw a party 231 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,523 that does not end with you in prison 232 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:33,901 behind a wall of empty beer cans. 233 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:37,071 Yeah... Alky-traz. 234 00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,657 This year we're doing it my way. 235 00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:44,245 It's bad enough we have to have all those people over-- 236 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:48,040 Jeff, please. You see how excited I am about doing this? 237 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,752 Please don't ruin it for me. 238 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,963 Ruin it. I'm not... 239 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:54,756 ruinin' anything. 240 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:58,550 You stay excited, because I am totally on board. 241 00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,803 I love these things! 242 00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,807 Is that per bowl? 243 00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:09,937 Hey, you. 244 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,356 I think everyone's really liking the Cuban theme. 245 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,234 We should throw parties like this more often. 246 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,903 Perhaps we should. 247 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,195 You really having fun? 248 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:22,366 If I was having any more fun, I'd explode... 249 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,744 killing everyone here. 250 00:12:27,704 --> 00:12:29,248 Hey, Russell. 251 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,417 I gotta talk to you. 252 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,335 By the way, I was snooping around, 253 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:34,837 looking for birthday deal clues, 254 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,631 look what I found-- excellent! 255 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,716 Audrey probably spanks him with it, 256 00:12:39,716 --> 00:12:43,137 scratches his monkey chest, slaps him around-- 257 00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:43,888 Russell, come on, come on. 258 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,433 This whole birthday deal thing's driving me crazy. 259 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,851 Jeff thinks I'm in over my head. 260 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,563 Don't listen to Early Man. This is a good thing. 261 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:56,317 Yeah, but what if what Jennifer wants is... 262 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,069 [WHISPERING] disgusting? 263 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,197 [WHISPERING] Then you win. 264 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,950 No. No, I don't. Look, you're single. 265 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,952 You can do anything you want with a girl 266 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,412 because by the next morning, you're gone. 267 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,873 Next morning? 268 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:14,043 - Later that night? - Mmm. 269 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,044 Whatever! 270 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,296 You never have to see her again. 271 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,630 I'm with Jennifer forever. 272 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:24,261 Right. Therein, my friend, lies your problem. 273 00:13:24,761 --> 00:13:29,976 By the way, that...thing? It's a scoop for the litter box. 274 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,398 Is it now? 275 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,527 Take care. 276 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,658 - Hey! - Hey. Hi! 277 00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:50,121 So I think I know what I want for my birthday deal! 278 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:50,621 You do? 279 00:13:50,537 --> 00:13:54,583 I'm just worried that mine might be a little messy. 280 00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,170 Messy. How? 281 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:03,092 It involves oil and some other sticky liquids. 282 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,802 It could ruin the sheets. 283 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:12,268 Okay. Oil and sticky liquids. 284 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,811 Oil and sticky liquids. 285 00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:16,022 Oil... 286 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,399 Oil and sticky liqui-- 287 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,443 The "Santa Fe Funnel Cake." 288 00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,034 Hey, Audrey. 289 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,202 Hello, Russell. 290 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,133 Anyway... 291 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:49,889 Big night for Jeff, wouldn't you say? 292 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,558 Yes. It's his birthday. 293 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,893 Yes, it is. 294 00:14:53,893 --> 00:15:00,649 So, are you gonna get him a special present? 295 00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,859 Uh, this party. 296 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,280 And? 297 00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:10,784 Hmm? 298 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:11,827 Hmm? 299 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,413 I think we're done here. 300 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,423 Come on! 301 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,721 [SIGHS] 302 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,270 Hey, birthday boy! 303 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:41,232 How's it goin'? 304 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,110 Better now. 305 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,863 So, I got you a present. 306 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:48,948 [CHUCKLES] 307 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,366 How'd you like some details 308 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,909 of a little chickie I was with last week? 309 00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:55,997 That would be a very thoughtful gift. 310 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,206 All right. 311 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,499 I tell you what. 312 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,667 I'll give you some juicy deets 313 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:03,504 if you tell me what your birthday deal is. 314 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,631 No. 315 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,799 Maybe I'll just ask Audrey. 316 00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:12,346 That would be a very poor and unhealthy decision. 317 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:14,806 Think so? 318 00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:17,768 Imagine the Wilkinsons' surprise 319 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,437 when I pound you through the floor 320 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:23,315 and into their living room. 321 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,988 Gyeahh... 322 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,658 somebody get a Soloflex? 323 00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:40,082 I'm sorry. Would you like some champagne? 324 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,168 Champagne? 325 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,964 [PINGS] A real glass. 326 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,057 Great! It's fantastic. 327 00:16:56,848 --> 00:16:58,100 What're you doin'? 328 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,476 This is really good champagne. 329 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:02,854 Why are we giving this to our friends? 330 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,066 Because it's your birthday. 331 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,359 Look at all these bottles! 332 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,695 I tried to bite my tongue, but I--I'm sorry. 333 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,698 This is way too much. This night must've cost a fortune. 334 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,701 Why do you always have to put a price tag on things? 335 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,868 Because "things" cost money. 336 00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:20,497 I'm just sayin' we could've done this party for a lot less. 337 00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,167 Fine. I give up. 338 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:24,626 You know what's ironic? 339 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,628 That champagne was for a toast I was going to give 340 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:31,592 to tell all our friends what a sweet, special generous man you are. 341 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:35,804 I guess I can't do that now, can I? 342 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:43,062 Excuse me, everyone. I'd like to make a toast. 343 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,940 I'd like to thank you all for coming to my party, 344 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:47,733 but more importantly, 345 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,736 I would like to take a moment to thank Audrey 346 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,989 for all her hard work in putting it together. 347 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:57,076 It's much nicer and classier than I deserve, 348 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,703 but, then again... so is she. 349 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:02,914 Audrey, would you come here for a minute? 350 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,130 To Audrey. 351 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,132 ALL: To Audrey! 352 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,966 [GLASSES CLINKING] 353 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,097 Finish every drop. 354 00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:22,476 Seriously, it's very expensive. 355 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,482 That was a great party. 356 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:29,441 Yes, it was. 357 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:34,155 I have decided what I want for my birthday deal. Have you? 358 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,948 Shall I go first? 359 00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:39,368 Yeah. Let's do this. 360 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:43,330 Okay... 361 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:48,919 On my birthday every year... I want... 362 00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,381 a foot massage as soon as I wake up, 363 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,632 then breakfast in bed, 364 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,134 fresh homemade blueberry pancakes 365 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,595 with expensive champagne and fresh-squeezed orange juice. 366 00:18:58,595 --> 00:18:59,971 Then a back massage. 367 00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:04,560 Then I go back to sleep and you clean the apartment. 368 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:09,398 Then when you're finished, you come back to bed... 369 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:12,984 you get under the covers... 370 00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:16,071 and we watch The Notebook. 371 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:25,706 That's it? No crazy sex fantasy? 372 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:26,915 No. 373 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:27,416 Why not? 374 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:30,794 Because sex-wise I can get anything I want from you 375 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:31,670 any day of the year. 376 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,465 I mean, I'm a girl and you're a guy. 377 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,425 That's true. 378 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,635 So, for my birthday, I should get something 379 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:41,430 I can't get any other day of the year. 380 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,055 So that's it. 381 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:45,267 Oh...that's the girl I'm gonna marry. 382 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,935 I love you. 383 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:49,563 So, what's yours? 384 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,399 Oh! I wrote it down. 385 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:57,238 The Velvet Hat Trick? 386 00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:01,700 Yeah. The description's on the back. 387 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,704 Oh, that's not how I do it. 388 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:18,634 I wish you'd let me tell people 389 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,470 that your birthday deal involves coming here 390 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,054 to recreate our first date. 391 00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:26,725 People should know how sweet you are. 392 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,811 It's best if only you know. 393 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,606 Even that's pushin' it. 394 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:35,734 I'm going to the ladies' room.