1
00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:02,794
I can't believe you got this.
I've been on the waiting list
for months.

2
00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:04,337
- Yeah, well, I'm connected.
- Come on.

3
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:09,134
Your cousin Larry's
the night manager
at the Paramus Toys 'R' Us.

4
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,886
You're not exactly
mobbed up.

5
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:12,637
Gimme this.

6
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:17,392
No, no! Sorry! Sorry!
You're mobbed up!
You're mobbed up!

7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,811
Okay, how about
we start with this?

8
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,896
Oh-- "Video Golf"?
Yeah, super.

9
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,773
I always wondered what
it would be like

10
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,484
to be 70 and live
in South Florida.

11
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,570
Come on. Put in the game
where you blow things up

12
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,448
and you drive your car
into hookers. Let's go.

13
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,533
Okay, yeah,
but then "Golf."

14
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,868
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
What are you doin'?

15
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:38,330
Maiden voyage
of my new video game system.

16
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,541
Oh. Well, I hope you finished
your homework first.

17
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:45,920
These games are not
just for kids and losers
anymore, honey.

18
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,465
Dirty whore.

19
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:50,675
What?!

20
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:53,678
No, he's talkin'
to the game.

21
00:00:55,763 --> 00:00:59,226
You were talking
to the game, right?

22
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,688
No, no!
She's not a whore!
She's not a whore!

23
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:06,149
- Gimme!
- Gimme, gimme, gimme!

24
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,359
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

25
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:11,654
♪♪ How many ways
to say I love you ♪♪

26
00:01:12,029 --> 00:01:16,951
♪♪ How many ways
to say that
I'm not scared ♪♪

27
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,954
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

28
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,415
♪♪ There is no denying ♪♪

29
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:26,586
♪♪ I can't wait for me and you ♪♪

30
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,340
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

31
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,510
TV:
...dishes out to Marbury.

32
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,845
Marbury shoots a three--
no good!

33
00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:40,683
-Game over! Knicks lose!
- Come on!

34
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,317
[REMOTE BEEPING]

35
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:52,195
...inside,
dishes out to Marbury,

36
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,864
Marbury shoots a three--
no good!

37
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:59,286
-Game over! Knicks lose!
- Come on!!!

38
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:03,080
- Hey, Jeff?
- Back here.

39
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,082
Oh, hey.
Great news-- I got it!

40
00:02:05,082 --> 00:02:06,376
Good. I'm starvin'.

41
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,795
Did you get
the spicy dippin' sauce?

42
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:12,924
No. When I said "I got it,"
I meant I got the promotion.

43
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:16,928
Oh. That's good, too.
Way to go. Kudos.

44
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,012
How about
a little excitement, huh?

45
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:21,683
Maybe something on par
with your enthusiasm
for the dipping sauce.

46
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:27,021
Well, that's gone now
because there is no
dipping sauce.

47
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,858
Or hot wings to dip in.

48
00:02:30,858 --> 00:02:32,652
Jeff, this is good
for both of us.

49
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:36,656
More money,
an extra week of vacation,
tickets to the Met.

50
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,285
The Mets?
Where are the seats?

51
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,288
The Met.
The Metropolitan Opera.

52
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,290
One little "s"
is the difference between

53
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,042
"Best news ever"
and "Who cares?"

54
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:52,380
But...good work
on the promotion.

55
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,590
Where are you going?

56
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,884
You came in here
talking about wings.
You got me all hungry.

57
00:02:56,884 --> 00:02:58,470
So I'm gonna
go out and get some.

58
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:04,100
Maybe some Mets tickets.
Possibly a Kudos bar.

59
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:09,564
Such a nice day.
You boys sure you don't
want to play outside?

60
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:10,273
No way.

61
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,859
Man, this is
the best five hundred bucks
I've ever spent.

62
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,321
Oh, uh, by the way,
the next time we see
my cousin Larry

63
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,448
you have to show him your bra.

64
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,868
Five hundred dollars.
Isn't that a lot to spend
on a toy?

65
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:25,580
This is not a toy.
It's is a state-of-the-art
gaming console.

66
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,416
Plus, I really,
really wanted it.

67
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:32,254
Well, I really wanted
those Prada boots
I saw at Barneys.

68
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,672
Well, you only
said "really" once.

69
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,048
My point is,
I didn't buy them

70
00:03:36,048 --> 00:03:39,010
because I would have felt guilty
spending so much money

71
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,262
on something
that was just for me.

72
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:45,850
- You know, now that we're "us."
- Honey, this is totally
an "us" thing.

73
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,685
- Give her your control.
- No, no, no!

74
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,146
- Give it to her!
- No! Please! Auggh!

75
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:54,108
We should just
talk to each other
before we make big purchases.

76
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,361
Especially on something
so frivolous.

77
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:59,281
What?! Friv--frivolous?!

78
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:03,701
Frivolous?
This is a necessity,
like air and oxygen.

79
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:06,621
Plus, it's hours of fun
for the whole family.

80
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:10,667
Oooh! I just ran over
three more whores.

81
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,921
Oops. That one
was a mail lady.

82
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:15,422
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

83
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:21,052
Hello, bagful of
Social Security checks.
I'll take that.

84
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:25,765
Looks like Granny's
eatin' dog food again
this month.

85
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,393
What's the champagne for?
Did you get it?

86
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,352
- I got it!
- Congratulations!

87
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:34,106
You are now looking at
the new senior deputy editor
of Indoor Livingmagazine.

88
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:38,778
Well, let's open the champagne.
Hey, guys, Audrey just got
a big promotion at work.

89
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,947
- That's great!
- Congratulations!

90
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,282
- Get out of the way!!!
- Move!!!

91
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,201
We're tryin'
to play thegame!

92
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:48,955
- Jeez.
- They just got that game,
they're really into it.

93
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,956
Well,
don't let Jeff see it.

94
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:54,210
Back in the '90s
he had a pretty serious case
of Pac-Man fever.

95
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:58,255
He must have been
really excited
about your promotion.

96
00:04:58,255 --> 00:04:59,674
Hmm. He wasn't.

97
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,718
A few days ago he lost
this big account at work,

98
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:05,179
so I thought
he'd be thrilled to have me
bringing in extra money.

99
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,850
Jeff's pretty macho--
maybe he feels threatened
by your success.

100
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,892
Yeah, I guess it was
just bad timing.

101
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:13,813
I shouldn't have
bragged about it
right after he had a setback.

102
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,274
We forget, men can be
very sensitive sometimes.

103
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:19,068
- Die, whore, die!
- You got her!

104
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,613
- You got her! Yeah!
- Yeah!

105
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,577
Anyway, I've been
through this before.

106
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:31,247
I have an idea
of something special
I can do for Jeff to fix it.

107
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:36,419
Oh. Well, if you
have to do that, you should
probably have more of this.

108
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,880
Oh, God, no, notthat.

109
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:44,761
That's only
when I've done something
really wrong.

110
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:50,725
Or if my sister's
coming to stay with us.

111
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,604
Come on!
She got my wallet again!

112
00:06:00,317 --> 00:06:02,737
Hey. Audrey.

113
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,657
Hey! There's my guy.

114
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,158
Wow, look at you.

115
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,117
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

116
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,952
Sit down and relax.
Dinner's almost ready.

117
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:13,080
- What'd you order?
- I didn't order anything.
I cooked.

118
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,250
Okay, you either
bought something
really expensive

119
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:19,754
or your sister's
coming to stay with us.

120
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,299
And if she is...

121
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:27,053
My sister's
not coming.

122
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:34,686
It's just you're my man,
and I want to make sure
you're taken care of.

123
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,814
And that brings us
back to...

124
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:44,028
No. I'm doing this because
I realize the other day
I was inconsiderate.

125
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:48,115
I came in flaunting my promotion
when you'd had
such a bad week at work.

126
00:06:48,115 --> 00:06:50,660
- Bad week?
- Yeah, you lost that account.

127
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,244
- I was glad to lose it.
- Why?

128
00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:56,999
The client was a pain.
Always wanting status reports
on his investments.

129
00:06:56,999 --> 00:07:01,713
Here's the status:
"You're annoying."

130
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,174
So, my promotion
didn't bother you?

131
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:07,635
Not at all. I'm thrilled
you got a promotion.

132
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:11,639
You deserve it.
You're a smart cookie
and a stone fox.

133
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,140
[CHUCKLES]
Well, thank you.

134
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:16,018
Why weren't you this happy
when I told you Tuesday night?

135
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:20,857
Tuesday night...
The Knicks lost a game
at the buzzer.

136
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,859
You're in a good mood now.

137
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,528
Last night they won.

138
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,531
You know, Jeff,
after twelve years,

139
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:33,285
I expect at parties
you're gonna disappear
to check the score.

140
00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:35,497
Or if we're at a restaurant
with the game on

141
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,707
I'm not gonna get
so much eye contact.

142
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,709
But this?
This is a whole new level.

143
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,212
My promotion
was less important to you
than the Knicks losing.

144
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,421
- That's not true.
- Oh, yes, it is.

145
00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:48,217
You're more emotionally
invested in your teams
than you are in me.

146
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:52,847
I haven't been rootin' for you
since I was five.

147
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,432
I am your wife.

148
00:07:55,432 --> 00:07:57,685
Our lives should not
be dictated by

149
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,729
the success or failures
of strangers.

150
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:04,316
Strangers? Did I not meet
Patrick Ewing...twice?

151
00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:07,278
Fine. Why don't you
invite him over for dinner?

152
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:11,115
Maybe he'll
take care of you.

153
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:17,163
Okay. You know what?
You're right. I'm sorry.
I wanna make it up to you.

154
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,247
How? The moment's gone.

155
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:22,043
I'm gonna take you out
tomorrow night for
the celebration you deserve.

156
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:25,212
Well, that would be a start.
What do you have in mind?

157
00:08:25,212 --> 00:08:27,214
Knicks game.

158
00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:31,761
Okay, there's no way
you're that dumb.

159
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:33,846
No, I got tickets from work.

160
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,348
Floor seats.
You're gonna get
the VIP treatment,

161
00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:39,143
sit right down on the floor
with all the celebrities--

162
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:43,230
Spike Lee, Woody Allen,
Matthew Modine.

163
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,733
- Okay.
- Awright? Right.

164
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,069
This doesn't totally
get you off the hook,
though.

165
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,614
I'm gonna want
another night out.
Including a Broadway show.

166
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,741
- You don't mean--?
- Oh, yes.

167
00:08:53,741 --> 00:09:00,122
Possibly the kind
where people start singing
for no godly reason.

168
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,584
But who does that?

169
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:07,421
♪♪ I'd like to drink
this brew ♪♪

170
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:12,552
♪♪ First one,
then maybe two ♪♪

171
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,972
♪♪ Oooh ♪♪

172
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:20,142
See? It's stupid.

173
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,523
I'll have
the turkey sandwich.

174
00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:27,316
- Thanks.
- Oooh.

175
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:30,152
Shouldn't you
call Jennifer and ask
if it's okay

176
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,780
that you spend
those five dollars?

177
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,783
She's right, man.
We're engaged now.

178
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:36,868
We have to be a team.

179
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,787
Dude, I'm not
wearing a wire.
Awright?

180
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:42,582
Jennifer's not here.
You can speak freely.

181
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,585
She said she wouldn't
spend a lot of money without
talking to me first.

182
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:50,882
- You heard her.
- Yeah, I heard her words.
But let's examine her actions.

183
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:54,010
How much does she
spend on herself each month?

184
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,846
- I don't know.
- I do.

185
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,473
Makeup: 50.
Waxing: 40.

186
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:03,185
Hair care products: 60.
Haircut: 90.

187
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,103
Mani-pedi: 80.

188
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,815
- Wow.
So she's spending, like--
- Over $300 a month.

189
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:12,278
Without talking to you.
And you wanna know how much
she spends on skincare?

190
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,322
- Yeah, I do.
- No, you don't.

191
00:10:16,448 --> 00:10:20,745
- How do you know all this?
- I study the female animal.

192
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,538
Know your prey.

193
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:25,166
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Dunston.
Checking in?

194
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,585
You're not goin'
to the Knicks game with me.

195
00:10:28,585 --> 00:10:30,171
Thanks for makin' that easy.

196
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:36,636
Now, aren't you due back
in Paris Hilton's handbag?

197
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,681
Why aren't you
takin' me with ya?

198
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:44,060
Audrey and I got in a fight.
I'm takin' her to make up.

199
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,102
Oh, come on.

200
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,520
Audrey takes my Knicks ticket,

201
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,273
Jennifer's cramping
my vid game time--

202
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,443
one of you has to
dump your chick.

203
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,194
What was the fight about?

204
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:56,656
Audrey told me
about her promotion right after
the Knicks lost a close one,

205
00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,910
I was less than jubilant,
she thinks I care more
about the Knicks than her.

206
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,412
Right. She's just
figuring that out now?

207
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:07,166
No. I'll patch things up
with Audrey
and it'll get me courtside.

208
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:11,796
- It's win-win.
- Is taking your wife to a game
really win-win?

209
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,465
"Can I have the binoculars?
Get me some popcorn.

210
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,926
"Ooh, give me
the binoculars back.
Look, there's ice cream.

211
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:21,973
"Hold on to the binoculars.
Is that a sno-cone?
Will you grab me one?

212
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,224
"Give me the binoculars back.

213
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,810
"I feel sick.
How much longer is this?

214
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,730
Why did you let me
eat all that?"

215
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,610
You don't want your putter.

216
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,029
You want the driver,
that's your power club.

217
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:40,282
Now line it up,
you pull it back, slowly...

218
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:43,119
and then whale on
that dude's head with it.

219
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,120
Bam! Bam! Bam!

220
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,663
- Vrooom...
- Yeah, don't be shy!

221
00:11:46,663 --> 00:11:48,958
I got his Camaro!

222
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:53,087
Awright, guys,
I'm going to get my hair done.

223
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:57,967
You know...you were right.

224
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,637
We should talk to each other
before either of us
spends a lot of money.

225
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:05,099
I'm glad you agree.
I'll see you later.

226
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,183
Uh, hang on.

227
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:10,604
Shouldn't we talk about
where you're having
your hair done?

228
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,148
[LAUGHS]

229
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,775
Oh, you're serious?

230
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,110
Well, yeah.
It's a big expenditure.

231
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,863
I'm going to Phillipe's,
where I always go.

232
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,783
Hmm. And you get, what,
a two-color process,

233
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,951
maybe a little
conditioning toner at the end?

234
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:27,955
- Yes.
- And that plus tip
is how much?

235
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,082
You can't put a price
on good hair color.

236
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:33,710
I bet Phillipe can.
Probably close to 200 bucks.

237
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:35,212
Where are you getting this?

238
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:38,549
I refuse to reveal my source.

239
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,056
Russell?

240
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:48,475
Remind me to
tell you a bunch of secrets.

241
00:12:48,475 --> 00:12:49,768
You should go.

242
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:53,647
I can't.
We're in the middle
of a mega-game here.

243
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:56,608
No, you should go.

244
00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:01,780
You try to help people...

245
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,372
Why would you listen
to Russell's advice?

246
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:14,126
His longest relationship was
three lap dances in a row.

247
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,922
You're pretty hypocritical,
spending all that money
on your hair.

248
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:21,592
I can't color it myself.
I've been going to Phillipe
for years.

249
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,469
Well, I played video games
long before I met you.

250
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,722
Which is probably
why it took you so long
to meet me.

251
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:30,184
Look, this isn't
just about my hair
or your game.

252
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:35,147
It's about us
spending on ourselves
without talking to each other.

253
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,691
You're right.
We need money for our wedding,

254
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,526
our honeymoon,
and a flat screen TV.

255
00:13:39,526 --> 00:13:40,987
Exactly.
And how about this?

256
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:46,450
To begin our new plan
of fiscal responsibility,
I will color my own hair.

257
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:50,787
Okay, and I will
sell my video game system
to Russell

258
00:13:50,787 --> 00:13:51,914
for an outrageous profit.

259
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,250
- It's fun working together!
- Yeah!

260
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:58,462
All right.
I will go to the drugstore
and get my hair color kit.

261
00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:02,133
All right, honey,
I'm gonna box up the game.

262
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,469
Way to get rid of her, dude.
Let's play.

263
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,936
This is gonna be great, Audrey.

264
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:17,106
They only get
these floor seats
once a year.

265
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,857
It's a different game up close.

266
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:22,361
Might even get sweat on us.

267
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,113
If we're lucky.

268
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:28,325
We should probably get goin',
beat the crowd,
get in those seats,

269
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:30,327
take in the atmosphere.

270
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,829
Floor seats, hello!

271
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:38,961
What's goin' on here,
you havin' a yard sale?

272
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:42,089
I'm having wardrobe problems.

273
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,425
Oh, no, please...

274
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,303
please, not tonight,
not with floor seats.

275
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,637
I've tried everything.
Nothing looks good.

276
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:53,225
What you're wearing looks good.
I told you that when you
modeled it yesterday.

277
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,060
Well, yesterday it fit.

278
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:58,730
Today I'm all bloaty,
and the seams are practically
bursting open.

279
00:14:58,730 --> 00:14:59,856
Since yesterday?

280
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:01,150
Are you calling me a liar?!

281
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:05,529
You're mad
I don't agree you're fat.

282
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,158
There's a new twist
on an old game.

283
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:13,955
I have two more possibilities.
You tell me which one
looks better.

284
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,373
I'll tell you right now.
First one.

285
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,376
Jeff, you could at least
pretend to care.

286
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,837
I was pretending.

287
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,255
Then...go without me.

288
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,092
No, no, no.
I'm not falling for that one.

289
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:26,883
This is like when you said

290
00:15:26,883 --> 00:15:29,345
I didn't have to
do anything special
for our anniversary.

291
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:34,391
You didn't have to.
I thought maybe
you would want to.

292
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:37,353
You should know
subtle wordplay
is lost on me.

293
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,440
Tonight is being torpedoed
because you think you're fat.

294
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:46,278
I don't think I'm fat.
I feel fat.

295
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,239
More wordplay.

296
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,992
Tonight was supposed
to be fun for both of us,

297
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,494
but now you're in a bad mood
because of your clothes.

298
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:58,790
And you know what?
Your body and clothing issues
are just like my sports.

299
00:15:58,790 --> 00:15:59,375
- What?!
- Yup.

300
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:03,087
When you think you look good
and your clothes all fit,
life is good.

301
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:06,007
But if not,
it's foxhole time.

302
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,217
That is crazy.

303
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,595
Is it?
Is it crazy?

304
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,346
Yes.

305
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:16,058
If it's crazy,
wear what you got.
Let's go.

306
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,228
- Fine. Let's go.
- Great.

307
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:19,979
This is gonna be great.

308
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,731
With these seats,
we're practically in the game.

309
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:26,652
You're gonna come away with
a whole new appreciation for--

310
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,320
Audrey?

311
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,618
You're totally right.
I can't do it.

312
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,412
I'm pathetic.

313
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,621
We're pathetic.

314
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:41,292
I don't wanna ruin your night.
Why don't you go to the game?

315
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:41,917
Not without you.

316
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,420
I've got an idea
about something you could wear

317
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,714
that will take care
of all your problems.

318
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,928
[SIGHS]

319
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,890
[IMITATES VIDEO GAME NOISES]

320
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,727
[CONTINUES NOISES]

321
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,023
AUDREY: Coming out!

322
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,693
Okay, let me just
finish my game.

323
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,821
Okay, I'm done.

324
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,740
Hey, look at you.

325
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:17,453
Yeah, I did it.
Take that, expensive salon.

326
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,954
How's solitaire?

327
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,956
Just as good as
my game system.

328
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:25,627
You know, I feel better
having sacrificed for us
and our financial future.

329
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,088
Well, me too.
We make a great team.

330
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:31,383
We don't need to
spend a lot of money
to make us happy.

331
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,969
[CHUCKLING]

332
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:37,556
Oh, no.

333
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:42,228
- What is this?
It's all over my hands!
-It wasn't supposed to happen!

334
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,688
Ohh! It's burning my eye,
honey!

335
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,523
- Oh!
- It's burning my eye!

336
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:50,277
Aaaah! Get it out!
Get it out!!!

337
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,285
Okay, what happened
in there?

338
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,371
Everything's stained
with brown dye.

339
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:02,914
It's not brown.
It's Twilight Sequoia.

340
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:05,084
It's all over the sink
and the towels and the walls.

341
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:09,004
It's like you executed
a family of chocolate bunnies
in there!

342
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,590
I must have forgotten to rinse.
But it was confusing.

343
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,342
I couldn't figure out
how to use the applicator,

344
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:16,595
then the mix splattered,
and the gloves wouldn't fit,
and...

345
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,430
you may want to buy
a new toothbrush.

346
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:21,767
Lemme tell you something.
Solitaire sucks, man.

347
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,894
I mean,
I keep cheating and cheating,

348
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,062
and I still don't win.

349
00:18:26,062 --> 00:18:27,689
I wanna go back to Phillipe.

350
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,275
Well, I think
we both want that.

351
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,777
And you can get
your video game
back from Russell.

352
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,237
I doubt
he'll sell it back to me.

353
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:37,116
You might have to show
Cousin Larry some side-boob.

354
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,034
I'm gonna go shower.

355
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:43,122
Hold on. If I am
going back to Phillipe

356
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,956
and you're
getting your game back,

357
00:18:44,956 --> 00:18:46,875
we're not sacrificing
anything.

358
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,878
We sacrificed plenty--
the towels, the shower curtain,

359
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,588
possibly the vision
in my right eye.

360
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:54,758
I thought
we were gonna work together
like a grown-up couple.

361
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:58,637
We still can. I mean,
there's other sacrifices
we can make.

362
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:02,391
- Like what?
- Like walking more,
taking fewer cabs.

363
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:06,312
And we could go to
museums and the park
instead of movies and concerts.

364
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,148
It's not gonna be easy,
but we're in it together, right?

365
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:13,277
- Give me a kiss.
- Ooh-- careful.
Caustic chemicals.

366
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:18,073
You know what else
I just thought of
that's fun, and it's free?

367
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:22,369
Oooh.
That's a sacrifice
I'm willing to make.

368
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,288
Are you willing
to make it right now?

369
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,915
Ah--I--I--
I need, like, a half an hour.

370
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:30,544
I just sacrificed
a few minutes ago.

371
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,921
Solitaire was really boring.

372
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,429
- Well, tonight was fun.
- Yeah, it was.

373
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,682
Next time don't let me
eat so much. I feel sick.

374
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,308
Of course you do.

375
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:48,187
Hey, I'm sorry
I didn't get excited
about your promotion.

376
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:48,770
I really am excited,

377
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:53,775
and I promise
I'll be thrilled
for the next one.

378
00:19:55,151 --> 00:19:58,739
Oh, look, it's game highlights.
Maybe we'll see us.

379
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:01,157
Nah, you almost never--
whoa!

380
00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:03,660
Who is that handsome devil?

381
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,454
Well, pause it!

382
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:08,665
You said I looked cute
in that outfit.

383
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,293
It's just paused funny.

384
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,963
Oh, I look terrible.

385
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:15,589
No, you don't.

386
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:19,676
Spike Lee was wearing
the same thing,
and he's adorable.

387
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:20,761
The shirt is way too big.

388
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:24,097
It looks like I'm being
fumigated for termites.

389
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,808
[CHUCKLING]
That's a good one.

390
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:29,436
Because it's not true.

391
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:38,695
Come on, Russell,
you've been playing
with that game all night.

392
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:40,489
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no!

393
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,908
Fine. I'll put
my clothes back on.

394
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:46,995
You'd rather
play with that game
than me.

395
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,503
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

396
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,758
Take it, take it.
I don't want it.

397
00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:08,475
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]