1
00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:02,627
You two are going out of town
on a romantic getaway weekend?

2
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:06,881
We're actually gonna rent
the car tonight so we can
avoid all the traffic.

3
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:08,050
I know
a good shortcut.

4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:11,886
Uh, you don't know
where we're going.

5
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:15,057
Doesn't matter.
I know a shortcut.

6
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,558
Even we don't know yet.

7
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,518
It's a spur
of the moment thing.

8
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,186
Oh, how fun.

9
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,229
When's the last time
we did something
like that?

10
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,316
Just last weekend.
We made plans to do
dinner and a movie.

11
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:27,860
And spur of the moment,
we decided not to go.

12
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:31,739
[LAUGHS]
That was fun
to not do that.

13
00:00:31,739 --> 00:00:34,992
Well, we wanna do
this kind of stuff
while we're still young

14
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:37,287
and not overwhelmed
with work and kids.

15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,580
Yeah.
Sounds great.

16
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,582
Hey, how come you guys
don't have kids?

17
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,585
Adam, you don't ask people
things like that.

18
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:44,086
Why not?

19
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:47,214
Because maybe
Jeff's shooting blanks.

20
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,135
Adam's sorry.

21
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,720
It's nothing
like that, really.

22
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,889
When we were first married,
we didn't wanna be tied down.

23
00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:59,016
We wanted to travel--
see Europe.

24
00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:02,104
- Must've been wonderful.
- How long were you there?

25
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,813
Never went.

26
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,815
We went to Epcot Center,
though.

27
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,735
It's pretty much
the same thing.

28
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,821
Anyway, a couple years ago,
we tried for about six months

29
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:12,905
and nothing happened,
so...

30
00:01:12,905 --> 00:01:15,200
It was too much pressure.
Put it aside...

31
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,577
and decided to get busy
with careers.

32
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,286
That's about it.

33
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,037
- Well, when the time is right.
- Yeah.

34
00:01:20,037 --> 00:01:21,914
- RUSSELL:Hey.
- Hey, Russell.

35
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:22,915
Hey, Archie.

36
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:25,252
Betty,
Veronica, Moose...

37
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,085
Hey, how's it goin'?

38
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,380
It's going good,
Meatwad.

39
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,256
[LAUGHS]

40
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,132
[BOTH LAUGH]

41
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,966
That's funny?
"Meatwad"?

42
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,885
- [ALL LAUGHING]
- All right.

43
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,220
You wanna join us,
Russell?

44
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,390
At the table
or in your creepy cult
of monogamy, hm?

45
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,143
No, thanks.
I'm just pickin' up
a coffee to go.

46
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,353
You just make jokes
about relationships

47
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,021
'cause you wish
you could have one.

48
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,773
- RUSSELL:Mm.
- You're just jealous.

49
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,400
You know what?
I am a little bit jealous.

50
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,859
You're right.
Now if you'll excuse me,

51
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:53,905
I have to go do
whatever I feel like doing
all the time.

52
00:01:56,533 --> 00:02:00,953
God, it's sad
the way he tries to make
his life sound good.

53
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:02,789
Really.

54
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,417
[CHUCKLES]

55
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:16,719
♪♪How many ways
to say I love you♪♪

56
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,681
♪♪ How many ways
to say ♪♪

57
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,725
♪♪ That I'm
not scared ♪♪

58
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,395
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

59
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,980
♪♪ There is no denying ♪♪

60
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:32,109
♪♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪♪

61
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,536
Russell?

62
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,913
Yes, ma'am?

63
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,291
Constance.

64
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,375
Constance Williams!

65
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,919
I lived in the building
you grew up in.

66
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,922
Oh, my God!
Of course! Hi!

67
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,800
You used to take care
of my cat.

68
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,009
Oh, that's right.

69
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:58,303
What was her name?

70
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:02,849
I wanna say...
Pickles...

71
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,933
Snuffles.

72
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,852
Snuffles.
Yes, Snuffles.

73
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,438
Well, it's great
to see you, Constance.

74
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:13,568
Or...should I call you
"Mrs. Robinson"?

75
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,611
Oh...

76
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,071
So, you remember
that, too.

77
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,072
Well, who could forget?

78
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:21,075
The best 18th-birthday
present ever.

79
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,911
Yes, I made you show me
your driver's license

80
00:03:23,911 --> 00:03:25,830
because I thought
you were 14.

81
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:30,209
Well, the moustache
hadn't fully come in yet.

82
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,169
It will.

83
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:36,466
What an afternoon that was.
You were so cute.

84
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,801
Well, who isn't cute
with feathered hair

85
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,387
and a skinny piano tie?

86
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,263
Come on.

87
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,764
You were so nervous.

88
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,850
Well, Snuffles
was in the room

89
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,184
staring at me.

90
00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:50,104
And it was over so fast.

91
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,399
Staring and judging.

92
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,527
And then she jumped on me
right in the middle of it.

93
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,862
Oh, I don't think
it lasted long enough

94
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,114
to even have a middle.

95
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,409
All right. Well,
you made your point.

96
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,911
Anyway, it was
a long time ago.

97
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,578
Yes, it was.

98
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,163
Every time
I think back on it,

99
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,040
it makes me chuckle!

100
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:10,500
Anyway...

101
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,961
if you want, you can put
your items with mine.

102
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:16,005
I get
the senior discount.

103
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,258
Aw, that's sweet.

104
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,551
Eh.

105
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:27,892
Hey...do you think
that we'll have kids
when we're married

106
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:28,893
as long as
Jeff and Audrey?

107
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,312
We don't even have
a wedding date yet.

108
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,521
We don't need to worry
about that now.

109
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,649
That's probably
what they thought,
so let's learn from them

110
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,569
and decide some of
our big life issues
right now.

111
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,987
Okay. I was thinking...

112
00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:40,738
we'd have two kids.

113
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,574
Same here! Yeah.
We can move out
of the city

114
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,327
and get a house
in like seven
to ten years.

115
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,411
- Yes!
- Yes.

116
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,120
Somewhere really
peaceful, but...

117
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,372
But close enough
to Manhattan

118
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,207
so that we can make
the quick drive in.

119
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,459
- Exactly!
- [BOTH LAUGH]

120
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,336
Oh, and if I'm ever
on life support,

121
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,462
I want you
to pull the plug.

122
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,756
Oh, my God.
Pull my plug, too.

123
00:04:58,756 --> 00:04:59,799
This is so great.

124
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:02,719
You know, I hate it
when couples say
they're soul mates.

125
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,722
Oh, I know. Me, too.
It's so lame and fake.

126
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,264
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

127
00:05:07,264 --> 00:05:08,475
[SIGHS]

128
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,726
But we're soul mates.

129
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,853
Totally.

130
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:22,113
All right.

131
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,073
All right.

132
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,743
All right.

133
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,161
Don't want any...

134
00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:31,288
glare on the ol' flatscreen.

135
00:05:31,288 --> 00:05:33,833
I've wanted to see
this movie for months.

136
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:38,337
And tonight...
is the perfect night.

137
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:41,048
[MOVIE PLAYS]

138
00:05:41,048 --> 00:05:44,636
Are we terrible people
for not having kids yet?

139
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,641
Um...

140
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,478
No, we're not
terrible people.

141
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,398
I mean, seriously,
just about everybody
we know has kids.

142
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,526
Well, that's why we stopped
hanging out with them.

143
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,109
It's all...

144
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:05,740
"Suzy got a new tooth"
or "Little Jimmy
made a poo-poo."

145
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,409
Real interesting.

146
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:10,369
You know, I think
it's interesting
if it'syour kid.

147
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,705
The same way your
Fantasy Football stories

148
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:13,706
are only interesting
to you.

149
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:16,459
People like it
when I talk about
myFantasy--

150
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,420
Oh, no, they don't.

151
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,755
Honey, your stories
stink like...

152
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,174
"Little Jimmy's poo-poo."

153
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:23,966
Hm.

154
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,343
Well, you do
want kids, right?

155
00:06:26,343 --> 00:06:29,013
I know I'd love a son.

156
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:33,309
Or a...a son
and a daughter.

157
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,271
[LAUGHING]
Well, look...

158
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:38,981
since we never
had success before,

159
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:42,151
maybe as a first step,
we should both
go get checked out.

160
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,194
Yeah. Checked out.
Good.

161
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,823
That way we'll know
if one of us has
a problem in that area.

162
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,743
Yeah. I mean,
it could be
your swimmers.

163
00:06:52,119 --> 00:06:54,288
It could be your pool.

164
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,166
Well, whatever it is,
we'll find out,

165
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,710
and then we can take steps
to fix it.

166
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:02,129
You mean take steps
to fix the pool.

167
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:03,590
Or the swimmers.

168
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,842
You call
your pool guy.

169
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,303
Call your lifeguard.

170
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:13,182
Look, whatever it is,
we'll deal with it together.

171
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,977
We will. Now let's
just watch the movie.

172
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:16,853
Okay.

173
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:20,440
[MOVIE PLAYS]

174
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,650
Tsk. Pool.

175
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,738
Yes, yes! One big dog
and one little dog.

176
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,615
That's what
I want, too.

177
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,491
This is so great.

178
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,408
Our brains are
totally in sync.

179
00:07:31,408 --> 00:07:31,951
I know!

180
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,078
Is yours thinking
about your boobs, too?

181
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:34,912
- Ugh!
- Sorry.

182
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:38,040
All I'll need now is
to see your driver's license.

183
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:38,541
Oh, okay.

184
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,460
Oh, I wanna put
my license on there, too.

185
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,335
No, you don't have to.

186
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,087
I'm driving.
I'm the man.

187
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,005
Of course you're the man.

188
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,173
I was just thinking
I should be able to drive

189
00:07:46,173 --> 00:07:47,884
in case you have
to get out of the car

190
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,177
and kill a bear
or something...

191
00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:52,138
That's...that's
a good point.

192
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,140
Plus, you'll be doing
a lot of driving

193
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,933
when we have our house
in the suburbs...

194
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,811
- With our two kids...
- And our two dogs...

195
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,481
It's so great
that we agree
on our entire lives!

196
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,899
I know, I know.
I'll go off to work,

197
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,276
and you'll drive
the kids to school
in the mini-van,

198
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,278
maybe do a little yoga,
a little shopping.

199
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,404
You come home,
walk the dogs...

200
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:11,448
Yeah. I don't know if
I'll have time for all that--
I'll be working.

201
00:08:11,448 --> 00:08:16,788
I know, honey.
Raising a family
is a full-time job.

202
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,206
So is running your own
graphic design firm,

203
00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:20,875
which is what
I'll be doing.

204
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,210
Uh, who's watching
the kids?

205
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:24,461
- We'll get help.
- No.

206
00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:26,422
No, I don't want
a stranger

207
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:27,423
raising our kids.

208
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,340
She's not a stranger.

209
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,884
She's a delightful
English lady

210
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,261
who at times
may break into song.

211
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,972
Besides, we'll need
two salaries

212
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:35,932
to get the house
we want.

213
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,518
No, no, no. We don't want
a mortgage so big

214
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,476
that we both have to work.

215
00:08:39,476 --> 00:08:41,312
Well, then you stay
at home with the kids.

216
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,230
No, I'm not staying home
with the kids!

217
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,691
You know how crazy
work is right now!

218
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:48,611
You know, maybe we
shouldn't go on this
damn romantic weekend.

219
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,445
Maybe we shouldn't.

220
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,113
Okay.
You're all set.

221
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,574
And here
are your keys.

222
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,616
We don't need the car.

223
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,659
No,you don't need
the car.

224
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,203
But I'm gonna drive around
while I'm still young

225
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,206
and strong enough
to kill a bear!

226
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,007
She's 60?

227
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,302
Hope you used protection

228
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:17,306
or you might've caught
osteoporosis.

229
00:09:17,514 --> 00:09:21,185
Well, she was 39
when we got together.

230
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:24,230
And she was 39
and 10 seconds

231
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,190
when we finished.

232
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,441
- That's pretty weak.
- Oh, come on.

233
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:31,487
I was young. Plus, her cat
Snuffles was staring at me
the whole time.

234
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:32,739
Freaked me out.

235
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,698
I once dated a girl

236
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:37,118
whose dog would watch us
and bark.

237
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,912
Like he owned
that position.

238
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:43,540
Yeah. You don't expect that
from man's best friend.

239
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,668
It just bugs me
that there's some woman

240
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:49,463
floating around out there
saying I'm bad in bed,
you know?

241
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,173
Who knows
who she talks to.

242
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,676
Pharmacists...

243
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,553
Meals-on-Wheels guys...

244
00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:59,265
Well, she was hot.

245
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,809
And she still...

246
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:05,021
looks good-ish.

247
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,273
Oh, God.

248
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:07,940
You're, uh...

249
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:11,110
you're not gonna do
what I think
you're gonna do...

250
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,070
[LAUGHS]
Yes, I am!

251
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,865
But I'm gonna do it better
than you think I'm gonna do.

252
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,993
I gotta set
the record straight
on this one.

253
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:19,576
Wow.

254
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:21,412
I'm torn between
"keep me posted"

255
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,414
and "keep it
to yourself."

256
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,581
[LAUGHS]

257
00:10:24,581 --> 00:10:26,458
Can we get change
for a meter?

258
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,711
Hey, what's up, Meatwad?

259
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,672
[LAUGHS]

260
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,965
That one's mine now.

261
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:34,884
Hey...

262
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,344
Hey, if you guys want,
you can take the food to go

263
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:39,639
and eat in my car
while we drive around.

264
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,474
Yeah, I really wanna eat
my waffles off my lap

265
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:44,143
in a Ford Focus.

266
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,895
No, no.
I upgraded, man.

267
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:46,603
I got a Mustang.

268
00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:49,606
Oh, you should've
said something--no.

269
00:10:49,606 --> 00:10:53,027
I thought you and Jennifer
were going out of town
this weekend.

270
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:56,280
Yeah, well, we canceled
'cause we got in a fight.

271
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,282
- About what?
- Ah, you know...

272
00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,326
Kids,
the house, money.

273
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,204
You got none
of those things.

274
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:03,871
Yet.

275
00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:06,207
Anyway, she wanted
to turn the car in,

276
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:09,168
but I kept it
just to show her.

277
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,212
So, I win.

278
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,757
Ah, crap!
I'm getting a ticket!

279
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,426
Look at this guy.

280
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,594
Relationships
sound terrible.

281
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:22,139
You know what?
I still need
the thrill of the chase.

282
00:11:22,389 --> 00:11:23,515
It's not much
of a chase

283
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:27,144
when both her hips
are titanium.

284
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,193
And once we have
the sample,

285
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,277
we'll check motility,

286
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,904
which is how well
they swim,

287
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:39,323
morphology,
where we look for
any abnormalities,

288
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,993
then we'll calculate the total,
which is determined

289
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:44,954
by multiplying
concentration by volume.

290
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,956
Growing up, I played
a lot of team sports,

291
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,918
and I always wore a cup,
in case that affects things.

292
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,628
That shouldn't be
a problem.

293
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,757
Shouldn't be
a problem.

294
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,759
Didn't think
it would be.

295
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:01,053
Okay, great. So, uh,
how much do you need?

296
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,388
Excuse me?

297
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,016
He's just
a little nervous.

298
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,600
Honey, you just do
your thing once,

299
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,560
and then they'll
take what they need.

300
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,897
Oh, okay. So, um,
can we have your office

301
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,649
for about ten minutes, doc?

302
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,860
Jeff...

303
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,361
Actually, we have
a private room

304
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:20,031
in which you can...
produce the sample.

305
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,949
- By myself...
- Yes.

306
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:26,412
The moment you've
been practicing for
all these years.

307
00:12:29,706 --> 00:12:32,084
She's just kiddin'.
I don't...

308
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,419
It's fine.

309
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,171
Okay, I do.

310
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:39,258
In the room, you'll find
an assortment of visual aids.

311
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,929
- A sex magazine?
- Yes.

312
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,889
Nice.

313
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,058
Where are they stashed?

314
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,352
They're right there
in plain view.

315
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,104
Very nice.

316
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,654
I married him.

317
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:12,875
Wow...interview
with Brett Favre.

318
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,966
It was such
a nice surprise

319
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,844
to get a dinner invitation
from you, Russell.

320
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:23,677
Well, I figured
I owe you

321
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,263
for all
the butterscotch candy
you used to give me.

322
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,850
Plus, I thought it'd be
a good chance to catch up.

323
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,059
What a nice idea.

324
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,728
So, how is
good ol' Snuffles?

325
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,771
Oh, she passed on.

326
00:13:34,771 --> 00:13:37,066
Old age. But you know,
she did have a litter.

327
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,611
Wait. Was the father
Mr. Balasko's Siamese?

328
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,238
- Yes!
- I knew something

329
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,073
was going on
with those two.

330
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:47,576
Oh, look. With your entree,
you have a choice
of soup or salad.

331
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:48,660
And what are the soups?

332
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,246
Split pea
and lobster bisque.

333
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,873
Both delicious choices.

334
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:52,831
I also enjoy chowder.

335
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:55,792
It walks that fine line
between soup and stew.

336
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:59,505
Look, why don't we
cut the crap.

337
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,758
We both know
where this is headed.

338
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,760
Yes, we do.

339
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,303
Check, please!

340
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,264
We haven't ordered yet.

341
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,182
Even better.

342
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,149
[SIGHS]

343
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,317
Come on, Jeff.

344
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:24,113
You don't have to read
all the magazines.

345
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,240
JEFF: Damn it!

346
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,163
You made me miss.

347
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,874
-What?
- You made me miss.

348
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,043
You knocked just as
I was teein' off,

349
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,128
and I shanked it.

350
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:43,007
Are younude?

351
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,885
If I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna do it right.

352
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,178
And why did you knock?

353
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:50,097
Well, I'm sorry,
but you were taking forever.

354
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,141
I was romancing myself.

355
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,268
Why? You know
how easy you are.

356
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:57,313
With you, maybe.
With myself, I like
a little foreplay.

357
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,441
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna take a quick nap

358
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,110
and then play the back nine.

359
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,621
How's the romantic weekend
with your car going?

360
00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:16,040
It's going great.
Mm-hmm.

361
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,458
And it's good I kept it.
You know why?

362
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,586
Because I realized
that our relationship
is like a car.

363
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,879
We're assuming the ride
will be smooth,

364
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:24,465
but then we come out
of the diner

365
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,927
and our relationship
is being towed!

366
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,345
The car got towed?

367
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,472
Yes! Yes, it did.

368
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,641
Yeah. And--and you
and I arguing

369
00:15:34,641 --> 00:15:36,268
over houses and kids?

370
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,686
I mean, it's--
it's stupid.

371
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,521
It's like me arguing
with the tow truck guy.

372
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,774
I mean, if it's a loading zone,
then it's a loading zone.

373
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:46,778
Adam, everything was fine
until we started arguing
about the future.

374
00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:48,905
Yeah, the stupid,
stupid future!

375
00:15:48,905 --> 00:15:51,408
We can't decide
everything right now.

376
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:53,827
It's like trying
to predict the weather.

377
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:56,538
They actually do that.

378
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:57,373
You know what I mean.

379
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,624
The important thing is
that wherever we go,

380
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:02,628
we're in this together,
even if it's places
that we don't expect.

381
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,796
Yeah, or even places
that scare us...

382
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:07,841
like an impound lot
under the West Side Highway.

383
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,760
I mean, why argue
about stuff in the future

384
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,639
when we have plenty
of stuff to argue about
in the present?

385
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,181
Yes, we do.

386
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,475
Like the stupidity
of you keeping the car!

387
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,560
Or the stupidity
of you leaving your shoes

388
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,478
all over
so I trip over them!

389
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,106
Or the stupidity
of you not looking down
when you walk!

390
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,816
Or the stupidity
of your pants being on
right now.

391
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:26,610
My pants?!
What about your pants?!

392
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,738
My God!
They are stupid.

393
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:35,952
- Bedroom?
- How about rental car?

394
00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:39,040
And don't hold back!
I paid for insurance.

395
00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:44,878
CONSTANCE: I'll be ready
in a minute!

396
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:48,757
I'm just taking
my blood pressure pills.

397
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,842
Okay!

398
00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:53,054
[EXHALES]

399
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,346
You're a star.

400
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:58,184
You're a big, bright,
shining star.

401
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,061
Woo! Woo!

402
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:03,730
[GRUNTING]

403
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:15,742
Show me what you've learned
in the last 20 years.

404
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,869
Now the pupil...

405
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:20,914
has become
the teacher.

406
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,589
[MOANING]

407
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:34,928
- Son of a bitch.
- [HISSES]

408
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,348
[HISSES]

409
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:41,643
- [RUSSELL SCREAMING]
- [CAT HISSING, MEOWING]

410
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,275
[DOOR OPENS]

411
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,276
Hey.

412
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,071
Hey. The doctor's
called.

413
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,072
And?

414
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:57,576
And...I checked out fine.
Everything's working.

415
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,411
Good.

416
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,205
Good.

417
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,252
[SIGHS]
So...it's my swimmers.

418
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,296
Well, they're
just a little slow.

419
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,260
Come on!

420
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,430
Jeff, it is nothing
to worry about.

421
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,265
Nothing to worry about?

422
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,058
We're talking about
my junk here.

423
00:18:22,058 --> 00:18:24,978
I know. But it's very common
and easily treatable.

424
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,273
The doctor
gave me this list
of simple things

425
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,150
you can do
to just speed 'em up.

426
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:31,277
"Wear loose underwear."

427
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,237
Sometimes I wear
no underwear.

428
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:37,241
I know. The guys
you play basketball with
have complained to me.

429
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:42,037
Yeah, let 'em complain.
Nobody crowds me
under the boards.

430
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,040
"No hot tubs"?
What a gyp.

431
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,417
Just go to a bar

432
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,586
like a regular
softball team.

433
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,837
What's this?

434
00:18:50,837 --> 00:18:52,506
It's an herbal powder
he recommends.

435
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,633
You mix it with water
and drink two a day.

436
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,677
Scotch has water in it.

437
00:18:56,677 --> 00:19:00,222
All right.
What are we sayin' here?

438
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:04,435
Let's just say
you do the things
the doctor recommends and...

439
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,395
we'll see what happens.

440
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,730
Let nature
take its course.

441
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:09,523
Yeah.

442
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,358
You would be a great mom.

443
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,445
[SIGHS] You would be
such a great dad.

444
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,238
For a boy.

445
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:20,284
Or...a boy and a girl.

446
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,244
Come here.

447
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,209
Check this out.

448
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,545
Last night in bed,
Audrey bit me.

449
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,174
I got that beat.

450
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,676
Ah, yeah.

451
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,177
Bruise...

452
00:19:38,134 --> 00:19:41,680
from the gearshift knob
of my rental car.

453
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,559
- Wow.
- Yeah.

454
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:52,899
I think
we have a winner!

455
00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:57,279
Did that happen
while you were
"driving Miss Daisy"?

456
00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,156
Yeah. Her cat attacked me
right in the middle.

457
00:20:00,156 --> 00:20:02,576
[LAUGHS]
Ooh, tough break, man.

458
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:03,369
Actually, it helped.

459
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,912
The searing pain
made me last longer.

460
00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:09,541
She said I was the best
she ever had.

461
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:12,919
Congratulations.
I guess you closed
the book on that one.

462
00:20:12,919 --> 00:20:18,842
That's right. I now have
100% customer satisfaction.

463
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,678
- Russell?
- Hey.

464
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:22,638
Constance.

465
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,805
Constance Williams!

466
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:26,683
I lived
in the building
you grew up in.

467
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:27,976
Yeah, I know.

468
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:31,355
You used to take care of
my cat Pickles.

469
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,399
Snuffles.

470
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:37,403
Why, I haven't seen you
in 20 years.

471
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,070
Hold on.
You do remember

472
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,865
our little liaison
we had, don't you?

473
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,158
Of course.

474
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,701
On your 18th birthday.

475
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:47,746
You were so cute
and so nervous,

476
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,206
and it was over
so fast.

477
00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:52,083
[CHUCKLES]

478
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:56,004
Son...of a bitch.

479
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:58,507
[SIGHS]

480
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,091
Okay...