1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,371
That was great, man.
I love watching games

2
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:05,005
on your hi-def TV.

3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,840
You keeping bringing
that six-pack admission charge,

4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,976
and you're welcome anytime.

5
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:12,879
All I know is, when I watch
my regular low-def TV,

6
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:14,981
I wanna stab myself in the eyes
with a fork.

7
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:17,450
Well, don't do that. Then
you won't be able

8
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:20,853
to find your way over here
with the beer.

9
00:00:20,853 --> 00:00:22,589
See you later.

10
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,224
Oh. Oh.
Oh, hey.

11
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,525
I just saw Jennifer
in the hall.

12
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,327
She's got a present
for you.

13
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,429
Ooh, I'll bet she does.

14
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,731
What is it?
I'm not gonna ruin the surprise.

15
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:34,634
But make sure you are excited
when she gives it to you.

16
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:38,071
I bet--
Okay, shut up.

17
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,239
Well, I can't wait to see it.

18
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,741
Uh, hey, uh,
can grab a beer to go?

19
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,576
Yeah, sure, help yourself.

20
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,347
And how was girls' night out?

21
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:53,720
Did you guys play Truth or Dare
and try on each other's bras?

22
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,721
Actually, it was fun.

23
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,789
Once you get those girls
out of the office,

24
00:00:56,789 --> 00:00:57,757
they are not afraid to drink.

25
00:00:57,757 --> 00:01:00,260
You know Theresa?
I don't think so.

26
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,229
No, you've only met her
about nine times.

27
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,697
She and her husband
are swingers.

28
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:08,901
Maybe I should meet her
a tenth time.

29
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:10,937
You know Mary?
Who?

30
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,472
You call her Bug Eyes.

31
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,006
[LAUGHS]

32
00:01:14,006 --> 00:01:17,344
Bug Eyes,
that's a great nickname.

33
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,979
Tonight, she told us
she and her husband

34
00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:21,648
only have phone sex.

35
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:22,782
Probably because he doesn't

36
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:26,319
wanna look into those
buggy eyes.

37
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,620
Hey, wait a minute.

38
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,323
Do you talk about our sex life
with your girlfriends?

39
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,860
Well, come on.
I gotta contribute something.

40
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:34,427
[CHUCKLES]

41
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,697
Tonight I told them that
when you sweat during sex,

42
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:41,168
your chest hair
looks like the rain forest.

43
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:43,170
And?

44
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,437
And that's it.

45
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:48,408
That's how you compete
with swinging and phone sex?

46
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:49,509
Sweaty chest hair?

47
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:50,843
Why, what do you
want me to tell them?

48
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:53,413
I don't know, maybe something
that includes the words

49
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:57,617
"satisfied," "exhausted"
or maybe "filthy."

50
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,886
Oh, yeah? Are those the kind
of stories

51
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:01,221
you tell Russell and Adam?

52
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,089
I don't tell stories to them.

53
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:03,623
Oh, please!

54
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,159
Do not tell me
you guys don't talk about sex.

55
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:09,462
They do. Adam implies things,
Russell gives details

56
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,965
and demonstrates with
the salt and pepper shakers.

57
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,134
But I'm a gentleman.

58
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,036
But maybe now
I'll just tell them everything.

59
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:18,705
Everything?

60
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,840
All right,

61
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,342
both things.

62
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,312
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

63
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:30,250
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

64
00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:35,755
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

65
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,225
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

66
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,460
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

67
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:44,864
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

68
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:50,303
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

69
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:59,579
Um, this isn't the front end
of some kind of bulimia thing,

70
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:00,680
is it?No.

71
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,849
I don't always
eat like this.

72
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,785
Oh. Like Jodie Foster in Nell? Ha-ha!

73
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,787
I think you're older
than I am.

74
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:13,059
Oh, no. I-- I caught it
on Nickelodeon the other night.

75
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,463
Are you gonna eat
your bacon?

76
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,365
No, no, go ahead.

77
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,900
So, uh, your appetite for food
this morning

78
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,637
almost matches your appetite
for me last night.

79
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:25,438
[BOTH LAUGH]

80
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,006
You were pretty energetic
yourself.

81
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:31,711
Ha-ha! Well, the little guy's
got something to prove.

82
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:35,248
Anyway, I'm glad I decided to
cut through the park yesterday,

83
00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:37,149
or I would never have seen you
playing guitar.

84
00:03:37,149 --> 00:03:39,719
Yeah, sorry I didn't know
that song you requested.

85
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:44,391
Oh, yeah, you should learn it.
"9 to 5," it's a classic.

86
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:47,360
So am I gonna see you again?
Well, I'm a really good cook.

87
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,196
How about tonight I go to
your place and make you dinner?

88
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:52,832
Ooh,
how Ward and June Cleaver.

89
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,467
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY]

90
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,405
I mean, uh,
Ross and Rachel.

91
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,912
I'll tell the doorman
to let you in.

92
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,980
And as a way
of saying thanks,

93
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:09,749
I've got a surprise for you.

94
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,386
What?
I'm not gonna finish my bagel.

95
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,921
[CHUCKLES]

96
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,056
Okay, we got time.Mm, mm.

97
00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:18,325
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

98
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:21,894
When I saw this, I thought
it would be perfect for you.

99
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:25,131
Uh, is it a machine that
makes your clothes fall off?

100
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:28,501
Heh. No, that machine
is called a corkscrew.

101
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,636
Hey, go ahead, open it.

102
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,872
All right.
Hee-hee!

103
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,245
Wow.

104
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:41,714
This is for me?

105
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,149
Do you like it?

106
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,285
Look at it.

107
00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:49,021
Oh. Oh, I bet
there's something inside.

108
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:50,857
Yes, there is.Ahh.

109
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:55,528
It's a pad
for the shoulder strap.

110
00:04:56,596 --> 00:05:00,166
Wo-- Wow. It's so cushy.

111
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,100
What's the occasion?

112
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,235
Well, I saw you
taping up your old backpack.

113
00:05:03,235 --> 00:05:05,271
I thought
you're doing so well at work,

114
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,306
you should look more stylish.

115
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,807
You know, more like
a real grownup.

116
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,378
Oh, but-- But my backpack
has a four-pen cubby.

117
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:14,046
Look, I had to go
to like three different stores,

118
00:05:14,046 --> 00:05:16,282
and I was so excited
when I saw this one.

119
00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:19,185
Ah, the other ones
weren't this great?

120
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:22,555
Okay, I know it's not something
you would normally use,

121
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,725
but trust me, I know style.
These are very in.

122
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,394
Come on, try it on.

123
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:30,630
Uh, mm, okay.

124
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:34,200
Okay, walk around.

125
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,902
[SIGHS]

126
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,608
Come on, strut your stuff.

127
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:45,044
You're a rising young executive
about town.

128
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:47,146
[SIGHS]

129
00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:50,016
I mean...

130
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:50,850
[LAUGHS]

131
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,619
You look fabulous.

132
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:55,955
Heh-heh. I feel fabulous.

133
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:59,692
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

134
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:06,799
Totally. Oh, my God.

135
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:08,568
What is that?

136
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,670
It was a gift
from Jennifer.

137
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,640
And now it's a gift for us.

138
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,208
I, uh--
I didn't say anything,

139
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:20,413
because I figured
we could do it together.

140
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,149
Hey, why don't you
just not do it?

141
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,984
Whoo,
don't get your panties--

142
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,720
Which I assume
are in your purse.

143
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,421
--in a bunch.

144
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,857
It's not a purse,
okay?

145
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,892
It's a messenger bag.

146
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,528
And the message is:
It's a purse.

147
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,362
Mm-hm.

148
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:39,799
Probably no panties
in there, though.

149
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:44,604
No room,
what with all the douches.

150
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,173
ADAM:
All right,
look, I don't like it either.

151
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:48,374
But Jennifer
was so excited,

152
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,809
she made
such an effort to find it,

153
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:51,511
I-I just couldn't
disappoint her.

154
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:55,548
That's very nice of you, but now
you're stuck using it forever.

155
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,050
Yep, all the way
through menopause.

156
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,286
Make your stupid jokes,
all right? But guess what.

157
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:03,389
Last night
wasn't the only gift I got.

158
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:04,123
Ooh, I'm listening.

159
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,559
All right,
so I'm taking a shower.

160
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,060
Jennifer decides to join me.

161
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:12,298
Rub-a-dub-dub.
I'm getting it in the tub.

162
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,701
Not bad, but check this out:

163
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,235
Yesterday, I cut through
the park,

164
00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:18,037
I see some chick
playing the guitar.

165
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:21,240
After 10 minutes of pretending
I like the Grateful Dead,

166
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,043
who suck,
we go back to my place

167
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:27,714
and we proceed to do it
everywhere.

168
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:34,053
We go in the bedroom.

169
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:37,256
In the kitchen-- Wha--? Yeah.

170
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:38,858
In the living room.

171
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,427
"I'm tired." "I'm not."

172
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,796
Hey, I got a story to tell.

173
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,298
Yeah?
Ah, really?

174
00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:47,266
Couple years back--

175
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:50,269
"Couple years back"?
All right.

176
00:07:50,402 --> 00:07:51,237
All right, okay.

177
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:55,374
You know what?
All right, more recently,

178
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,710
I, uh...

179
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,850
That bag is for girls.

180
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:07,319
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

181
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,357
I am shocked you wanted to
meet me here. You hate shopping.

182
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:14,794
I don't know what you're
talking about. I love shopping.

183
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,129
How you doing?

184
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,933
Here you go.
Okay.

185
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,569
I am gonna
model the dresses for you.

186
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,370
You tell me
which one you like best.

187
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,272
The one marked "clearance."

188
00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:28,007
Done.

189
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,710
Go ahead.

190
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,182
You gonna help me?

191
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,117
Yes, I am.

192
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,020
Oh, are you crazy?
What are--?

193
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,957
Crazy for love.
Come on, let's live a little.

194
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,326
No. No. No.

195
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,494
Not here. No.

196
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,096
Why not?
Uh, well, for starters,

197
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:54,166
I'd be looking at my butt
from 12 different angles.

198
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:55,668
Come on,
what's gotten into you?

199
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,104
You had no good stories
to tell your friends,

200
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,171
I had none to tell mine.

201
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,773
This could be a good story.

202
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:04,410
Once upon a time
I had you in a dressing room.

203
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:09,148
WOMAN:
You do know there's other people
in here, right?

204
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,119
Sorry.

205
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,487
Things aren't dull.

206
00:09:15,487 --> 00:09:16,488
They're fine.

207
00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,891
Oh, stop with the dirty talk.

208
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,028
All right, maybe our sex could
be a little more creative

209
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,362
and spontaneous.

210
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,097
Starting now.

211
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:25,565
[LAUGHS]

212
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,234
WOMAN:
I'm here with my grandmother.

213
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:32,438
ELDERLY WOMAN:
Shush, they're about to do it.

214
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:36,743
Okay, okay, look.
Y-you want spontaneous?

215
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,746
Let's go get a room
at the Winser Suites right now.

216
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,414
Now, look, if I'm paying
for a four-star hotel,

217
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:43,650
I expect four-star sex.

218
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,718
Oh, I think, actually,
it's a five-star hotel.

219
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:49,488
All right. Well, better stop
and get some Gatorade.

220
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,892
Oh, look at that,
they fixed it.

221
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,360
Oh.

222
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,431
Yeah.

223
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,268
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

224
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,871
[TV BLARING]

225
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:07,874
Stupid low-def TV.

226
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,344
Dumb bag.

227
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,348
Hey.
Hey.

228
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:17,083
I just ran into Russell.

229
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,518
We're meeting him and his
new girlfriend for a movie.

230
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:21,721
Girlfriend? What,
she's his girlfriend now?

231
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,924
I guess. Russell says she's over
at his place all the time now,

232
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:28,160
so it's girlfriend or hostage.

233
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,030
Either way,
she's handcuffed to the bed.

234
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:35,835
That's gonna be a disturbing
salt and pepper reenactment.

235
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,236
What you doing?

236
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:41,240
Ah, just watching some tube
with the bag.

237
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:41,708
[GASPS]

238
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,076
Have you gotten
any compliments about it?

239
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,577
Compliments? No.
No compliments.

240
00:10:45,577 --> 00:10:48,580
I've got some comments, though,
from the guys.

241
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,049
Well, that's typical.

242
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,884
Those guys make fun of you
for anything.

243
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:54,821
They make fun of you
for using hair gel.

244
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,389
What do they say?

245
00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,726
Who cares what those idiots
think?

246
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,661
They know nothing about style.

247
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,696
They know how to insult it.

248
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,733
Well, they should talk. Russell
always looks like he's wearing

249
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:10,336
a Starsky and Hutch
Halloween costume.

250
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,505
Hey, why don't you take the bag
to the movie tonight?

251
00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:16,375
That'll show Russell
you don't care what he thinks.

252
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,343
Ah, or we can leave it here.

253
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,746
I mean, it's not like
I'm carrying anything.

254
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:23,549
That is another benefit
of the bag.

255
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,651
We can use it to sneak drinks in

256
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,219
so we don't have to pay
their crazy prices.

257
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:31,523
That-- But it's kind of how
they make their money, though.

258
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:31,991
[GASPS]

259
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,193
And look.
There's still so much room.

260
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:38,364
I don't even have to
bring my purse. Hee!

261
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,069
That makes one of us.

262
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,537
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

263
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,540
Whoa-ho-ho,
nice room.

264
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,108
Not for long.

265
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:54,680
We are going to wreck this place
with some crazy sex.

266
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,217
Hey, midtown, enjoy the show.

267
00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,218
All right.

268
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,120
What do you think about this?

269
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:01,854
I like it.

270
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,290
But it too will be destroyed.

271
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,491
[LAUGHS]

272
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,960
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

273
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:11,864
Hey, big boy.

274
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,233
Why don't you call room service

275
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:18,237
and, uh, have them bring us
some champagne and strawberries

276
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,672
and maybe a little
whipped cream?

277
00:12:20,672 --> 00:12:22,674
You look so hot--
Hee-hee-hee!

278
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:27,379
--I'm almost not thinking
about the delivery surcharge

279
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,716
and mandatory 18 percent
gratuity.

280
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,419
Almost.

281
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,788
I gotta tell you,

282
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,423
I really like
your whole attitude

283
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,591
about, uh-- Whoa.
Look at this.

284
00:12:39,591 --> 00:12:41,160
Happy hour
in the hospitality suite.

285
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:46,332
Complimentary wine and cheese,
hot hors d'oeuvres, sushi.

286
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,335
Hmmm. You know,
they call it complimentary,

287
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,837
but it--
It's built into the price.

288
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:53,305
And so we lose money
if we don't go.

289
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:54,373
It ends at 6:30.

290
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,875
Ah! It's almost 6 now.

291
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,510
Uh, wh-what about
destroying the room

292
00:12:58,510 --> 00:12:59,545
with our crazy, nasty sex?

293
00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:02,581
Oh, we're doing that.

294
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,316
No doubt.

295
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:06,452
But how about
we go to happy hour,

296
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,353
chug a lot of fancy wine,

297
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,455
we make dinner
out of the hors d'oeuvres,

298
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,790
come back here, tear it up?

299
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,826
Ha-ha-ha!
Best of both worlds.

300
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:14,560
I'll go get dressed.

301
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,328
All right,
see you down there.

302
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:18,797
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

303
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:24,971
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

304
00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:30,776
Claire
seems pretty cool.

305
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,211
Yeah, she is.
She's different.

306
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:36,082
I don't have to take her out
to fancy restaurants or clubs.

307
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:38,184
She's happy just hanging out
at my place.

308
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:41,320
Sounds nice.
She appreciates
the little things.

309
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,923
That's perfect for you.

310
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,324
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

311
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,058
Purse.

312
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:48,494
I don't care what you think,
okay?

313
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,828
This thing
isn't that bad.

314
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:52,731
I mean, look.
That guy has one too.

315
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:55,701
See? He looks pretty cool.

316
00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:04,843
[LAUGHS]

317
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:07,579
[LAUGHING]
Thank you.

318
00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:10,649
Thank you.
That's so excellent.

319
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,784
I don't think it's possible

320
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:16,055
to drink more wine in that short
a time than we just did.

321
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:18,424
Not without a funnel.

322
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,960
I'll put the sushi
in the minibar for later.

323
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,629
God, this bed
is so comfortable.

324
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,866
All the better
for the doing it.

325
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:27,766
Ahhh.
So, what do you say?

326
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:30,602
You gonna shimmy back
into that sex getup

327
00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:31,637
you had on before?

328
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,838
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I will, I will.

329
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,941
Come here and snuggle
for one minute.

330
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:35,741
Okay.
Okay.

331
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:38,945
All right. Good.
Oh-ho-ho-ho.

332
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,212
[BOTH MOANING]

333
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,081
And, hey, you know what?

334
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,449
They got in-room movies.

335
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,918
Oh, yeah? Do you wanna
watch something dirty

336
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,453
to get us in the mood?

337
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,521
Nice.

338
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:52,791
Whoa. Spider-Man 3.

339
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,860
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That sounds good too.

340
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,929
Yeah? "On. Movies.

341
00:14:56,929 --> 00:15:02,834
"New releases.
Adventure. Spider-Man 3.

342
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,504
Thirteen ninety-five."

343
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:09,041
Too buzzed to care. "Purchase."

344
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,409
Okay.

345
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:11,978
And here we go.

346
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:15,514
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV]

347
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:25,024
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

348
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:26,959
RUSSELL:
Mm-hm. Hm, yeah. Hee!

349
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,360
You had to call Jeff.

350
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,331
Ask her if he's jealous
that he didn't get a kiss too.

351
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:35,434
RUSSELL:
All right,
I'll talk to you later.

352
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,069
Heh! Okay.

353
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:38,104
Whoa.

354
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,907
Guy from Wings
is made out of sand.

355
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,742
Can we go
to our seats now?

356
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:44,743
All right.

357
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,013
That's a great bag.

358
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:49,515
Thanks.

359
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:58,357
Heh.
These two guys just told...

360
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:00,559
Wow, I haven't been
to this theatre

361
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,628
since I used to live
on this side of town.

362
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,663
Oh, where do you live now?
All over, really.

363
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:08,300
Sometimes 14th Street,
sometimes Christopher Street.

364
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,169
When I can,
I crash with friends.

365
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,670
So you're between apartments?

366
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:14,940
Yeah. Going on five years.

367
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,077
I don't understand.
Where do you live?

368
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,745
I live in the moment.

369
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,548
Does the moment
have an address?

370
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,383
Some people
would call it homeless,

371
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:27,919
but I just don't wanna
be tied down to one place.

372
00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:30,289
I can do what I want,
when I want.

373
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:34,660
I get that.
And I'm not really into things.

374
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,429
Oh. I kinda like things.

375
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:41,333
But I once camped out overnight
for Bon Jovi tickets.

376
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,273
So does Russell know?

377
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:51,010
No.
We mostly talk about him.

378
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,112
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.

379
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:56,682
Hey. Sorry to interrupt
the girl talk.

380
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,718
What is it? "I like shopping,
I like boys,

381
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,887
let's buy a scrunchie."

382
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:02,921
Heh! Am I close?

383
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:03,889
Yeah, bull's-eye.

384
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:06,025
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SCREEN]

385
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,659
[SIGHS]

386
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:13,199
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERING]

387
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:16,502
[INAUDIBLE SPEECH]

388
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,071
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERING]

389
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,940
What?

390
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:25,144
Hmm.

391
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,546
Popcorn's so good.
You can have mine.

392
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,182
Have some of ours.
Yeah, you want all this?

393
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,050
I've got some Red Vines.

394
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,519
Oh, and my scarf.
Here's a scarf.

395
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,987
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

396
00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:42,694
Oh, my God.
That was the most amazing night.

397
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:44,396
Oh, definitely.

398
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:48,100
Best I ever had.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!

399
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,168
Mmm.

400
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:53,239
I'm sorry we didn't have
crazy sex. Or any sex.

401
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:56,975
It's fine. It was
the perfect night of sleep.

402
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,911
Sex would have ruined it.

403
00:17:59,911 --> 00:18:02,214
Does this prove we're dull?

404
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:05,184
Tsk! Look,
it's like you said, we're fine.

405
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:06,718
We have nothing to prove.

406
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:08,787
We've proven it already.
We have.

407
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,957
We have done it
in some pretty wild places.

408
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:15,561
Like stairwells, cars...

409
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,695
[GIGGLES]

410
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,764
...Canada.

411
00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:22,301
You know, uh, there's an hour
and half before checkout.

412
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,469
We could still do it.

413
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,571
Or we could sleep some more.

414
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,806
Ah, I was hoping you'd say that.

415
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:29,708
Tonight when we
get back to the apartment,

416
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:33,445
we can do it in that bed
that I now hate.

417
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:34,180
Mmm.

418
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,447
Hey, can we play
real estate lady

419
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:39,751
showing a lonely businessman
an apartment he might rent?

420
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:40,152
Mmm.

421
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:42,321
Maybe the businessman
takes the real estate lady

422
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:45,891
out for an expensive,
romantic dinner first?

423
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:49,495
It seems a little
unprofessional.

424
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,963
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

425
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,533
Hey, Adam.
Hey.

426
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:58,103
So how'd it go? You break things
off with Boxcar Willie?

427
00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:58,604
[CHUCKLES]

428
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,005
Well, I was going to,
but then I realized

429
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:03,041
even though she's homeless,
she's still a good person.

430
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,042
So I'm gonna keep seeing her.

431
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,712
Surprisingly deep.
Yeah, plus I look like a hero

432
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:10,316
giving her three hots
and a cot.

433
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,951
And back to the shallow end.

434
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:15,120
Saves a lot of money
on dates.

435
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,923
Your leftovers, her dinner.

436
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:21,660
Hey, could I get a to-go
container for this, please?

437
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,662
Guys, got a great story.
All right.

438
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,665
All right, so Audrey and I
just finished playing

439
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,501
real estate lady
and lonely businessman, so--

440
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,438
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What
are you--? What are you doing?

441
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,639
Yeah, come on.
What's the problem?

442
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:38,777
Well, nothing's less hot
than a married guy's sex story.

443
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:39,845
She's your wife, man.

444
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,348
Yeah, but she wasn't
acting like my wife.

445
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,616
She was, uh, Mona.

446
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:47,719
A buxom--
Ah! "Buxom." Why'd you say that?

447
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,120
What are you doing?

448
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:52,458
Show your lady some respect.

449
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:56,528
Oh, wait, I chewed on that
piece. It's a little gristle.

450
00:19:56,528 --> 00:20:00,499
Ah, I'll bury it in rice.
She'll never know.

451
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,534
Hey, sign the check. Let's go.

452
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,270
I got a pen.

453
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,314
Is, uh...?

454
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,515
Is that a, uh...?

455
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,817
No wonder you're so cranky.

456
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,919
All right, you know what?
Here, here.

457
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:23,555
Here's your new to-go bag.
All right.

458
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,791
Then what are you gonna tell
Jennifer?

459
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,759
That I got mugged.

460
00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:30,061
By who, the Village People?

461
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:32,531
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

462
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,569
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

463
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:39,705
Claire.

464
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,841
Oh. Hey, Russell.

465
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,543
Hey.

466
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,345
Who's this guy?

467
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,513
Tim.

468
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:50,749
We're part of the same
drum circle.

469
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,719
Oh. Well, were you guys
together or something?

470
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:56,588
I'm sorry, Russell.
It's over.

471
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:57,456
What?

472
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:59,958
What, you're
breaking up with me?

473
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,529
But I have shelter.

474
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,731
That's the thing.
You're just too trapped

475
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,733
by your material possessions.

476
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:10,869
Oh, forgive me
for having an iPod.

477
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:16,508
Well, we did have
some good times, didn't we?

478
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,344
Kind of.

479
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:22,180
Wow. Okay, great.
Um, I'll see you around.

480
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:26,552
Oh, and here's
some leftover chicken àà la king.

481
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,420
Fabulous bag.

482
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:29,821
You like it?

483
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:34,293
Love it.
Ha-ha! It's yours.

484
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,827
You'll be back.

485
00:21:36,227 --> 00:21:39,064
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

486
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:44,903
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]