1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:04,671
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

2
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,439
Hey, guys.
What's up?

3
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,208
Hey, honey,
just talking about work.

4
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:09,109
He's talking
about work.

5
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,078
I'm singing "Safety Dance"
in my head,

6
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,512
and I really wish I wasn't.

7
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,547
[MOUTHING WORDS]

8
00:00:14,747 --> 00:00:17,084
Hey, you know those
new condos I told you about?

9
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,118
Mm-hm.
They finally broke ground.

10
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:21,788
Yeah, now we need someone
to design the sales brochure.

11
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:24,724
Oh, perfect.
Now it's "Kokomo."

12
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,394
Hey, hey. I just
had a great idea.

13
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:29,729
Five bucks says
it isn't great.

14
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:32,165
Well, let's have Jen
do the brochure.

15
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:33,833
Ha-ha! I win.

16
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,068
Oh, come on, man.

17
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:37,937
She designs this sort of thing
all the time. She's good.

18
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:38,905
Look, this is
an important client.

19
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:42,842
We can't just throw the job
to some chick you're nailing.

20
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:44,877
I'm his fiancée.

21
00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:47,847
And how does that contradict
what I just said?

22
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:50,850
I'm sorry, but this is not
how people are hired

23
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,452
in a professional business.

24
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,687
You hired an architect because
she had a tongue ring.

25
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:57,724
No, no. Hired that girl
'cause she had big cans.

26
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:01,594
The, uh, tongue ring
was a filthy little bonus.

27
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,863
Now listen. I'm doing
you guys a favor.

28
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:04,597
I'm protecting you.

29
00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:07,600
Couples should not work
together. It always ends badly.

30
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,569
Not always.
Oh, really?

31
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,404
Every girl
I've ever dated at work

32
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,372
wound up getting fired.

33
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:17,077
Now these poor things were
forced to live on their large...

34
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,279
harassment settlements.

35
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,114
Well, that's not
gonna happen to us.

36
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,083
No. We'll just
separate home and work.

37
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,985
Yeah, we'll have Work Adam
and Work Jen,

38
00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:27,520
and Home Adam
and Home Jen.

39
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,321
Yeah, that'll be great.

40
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,590
See? There you go.
Problem solved.

41
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,559
Fine, I'll give it a shot.

42
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,294
I'd love to be proven wrong.

43
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,763
Like I was by seven juries.

44
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,232
Ah. Hey, hey.

45
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:43,536
Oh, the version of you guys that
still has hope is over there.

46
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,071
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey.

47
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,173
Hey, guys.
Hey.

48
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:46,706
Guess what?

49
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,075
Adam just got me some freelance
work for his company.

50
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,245
Congratulations.
You're gonna work together?

51
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,046
Good plan.

52
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:57,317
Ah! Damn it.

53
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:57,950
What's wrong?

54
00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:59,486
Hurt my shoulder
playing softball.

55
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,953
Hm. How'd it happen?
Funny story.

56
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:03,890
[MOUTHS]
It's not. It's not funny.

57
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,162
In Ancient Rome,
women took pride

58
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:11,931
in their husbands' achievements
on the battlefield.

59
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:14,801
In Ancient Rome, their husbands
didn't injure themselves

60
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,437
tripping over the pony keg
at third base.

61
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,240
Thanks for blowing
the end of my story.

62
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,210
Anyway, soaked my shoulder
in the hot tub at the gym,

63
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,511
but it's still sore.

64
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:25,044
Hot tub?

65
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:28,281
Jeff, you know those are
bad for your sperm.

66
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,485
Nice mealtime topic,
Audrey.

67
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,921
Yeah, Audrey,
it's kind of gross.

68
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,290
So, what's up
with your sperm?

69
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,060
I think you're making
Jennifer uncomfortable.

70
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,162
Well, what's going on
down there?

71
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:46,366
I mean, are your guys weak,
or is it failure to launch?

72
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,034
I don't want to talk
about my junk.

73
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:51,137
Jeez. It's not a big deal.
They're our friends.

74
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,672
We had a fertility test
a while back,

75
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,707
and Jeff's boys
were a little slow.

76
00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:55,174
[GASPS]

77
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,444
I didn't even know
you guys were trying.

78
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,379
Well, we're trying
to be trying.

79
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,481
The doctor gave Jeff a list
of things he should do,

80
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:04,351
like wearing loose underwear
and taking supplements,

81
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,985
and staying out
of hot tubs.

82
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,587
Yeah, I've been doing
most of that.

83
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:09,522
I just fell off the wagon
a little bit.

84
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,790
What's "a little bit"?

85
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,725
I may have forgotten to
refill the supplements,

86
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:16,062
and when I play softball,
I wear tighty-whities.
Oh.

87
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,130
Are you kidding?
I tried wearing boxers,

88
00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,098
but when I ran,
it felt like

89
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:22,134
someone was shooting dice
in my pants.

90
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,104
You're getting
retested this week.

91
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:26,439
Don't you want
to be at your best?

92
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,608
Yes, that's why
I switched to briefs.

93
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,477
I didn't want my guys
all dazed and punchy

94
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,945
from the beating
they were taking down there.

95
00:03:32,945 --> 00:03:34,614
Hey, does that affect
your fertility?

96
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:37,817
Because one time, when I was 12,
I jumped off this diving board

97
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,886
and landed right on my--
Adam.

98
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,922
What? I was gonna
say pool toys.

99
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:45,492
Man, did that
hurt my balls.

100
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,328
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

101
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:53,032
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

102
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:58,204
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

103
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,973
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

104
00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,009
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

105
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:07,046
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

106
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,018
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

107
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,320
Hey, what's up?Hey.

108
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,054
Hey, did you rearrange
your furniture?

109
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:17,990
Oh, yeah. I "porn shuied"
the whole office.

110
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:19,826
You what?

111
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:20,493
I "porn shuied" it.

112
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,094
That's when you rearrange
the furniture

113
00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:24,731
so no one can see what's
on your computer screen.

114
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:28,034
"Porn shuied?"
Yeah, I invented it.

115
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,503
You are a very deep guy.

116
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,939
And yet I don't mean to be.

117
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:34,874
Boy, imagine how
successful you'd be

118
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:38,210
if you focused more on work
and less on porn.

119
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:40,079
Yeah. We'll have to
imagine that.

120
00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:43,283
Anyway, there should be
no spot in this room

121
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,652
where people can...
see what I'm doing.

122
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:48,588
So here, you be me.
Sit down for a second

123
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,623
and let me test this.

124
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,091
All right.

125
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,660
Oh, God.

126
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,295
Oh, grow up.

127
00:04:55,662 --> 00:05:00,367
All right, I can't see
the screen. Good.

128
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,403
I can't see your hands,

129
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,906
which is important
for long meetings.

130
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:09,476
Oh, crap.

131
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,910
What?
There's a reflection

132
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,814
in that picture, and I'm
getting a hint of an orgy.

133
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,418
All right. Help me take
this picture down.

134
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:21,488
Here, that's not
going anywhere.

135
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,022
Help me take
the picture down.

136
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,758
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

137
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,763
Hi.
Oh, hey. What's up?

138
00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:31,698
Well, I know
you and Jeff

139
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,033
aren't having any luck
getting pregnant,

140
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,602
so I brought you
something.

141
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,636
Oh, God.

142
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:40,139
Tell me there isn't
a baby in that bag.

143
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,107
Heck no.

144
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,875
I brought you...

145
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,544
this.

146
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:47,747
Well, I feel bad.

147
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,416
I didn't get you anything ugly

148
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,118
and...slightly offensive.

149
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:53,185
No, it's a fertility
idol.

150
00:05:53,185 --> 00:05:54,754
It's been in my family
for years,

151
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,055
and everyone
who gets it

152
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:56,689
ends up pregnant.

153
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,025
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, honey,
that's really sweet,

154
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,260
but I don't really
believe in that stuff.

155
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,762
Oh. I know
it sounds crazy,

156
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,831
but 10 years ago, a doctor
told my cousin

157
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,165
she couldn't
have kids.

158
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:07,900
She got this
and two months later,

159
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,469
pregnant with
twin boys.

160
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,737
Really?
Yeah.

161
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:11,471
Her husband was pissed

162
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,573
'cause he'd been out of
town for six months,

163
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,175
but that's not
the idol's fault.

164
00:06:17,309 --> 00:06:19,912
Okay. I mean,
I guess it can't hurt.

165
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:22,314
Unless I sit on it.

166
00:06:22,314 --> 00:06:24,551
It's so exciting
that you guys are trying.

167
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,918
I'm so happy for you.

168
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,487
Yeah. That makes two of us.

169
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:28,921
Why? You think
Jeff's not?

170
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:31,357
Come on, you heard him.
The hot tub, the underwear.

171
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:34,427
Plus, he's missed his last two
appointments to get retested.

172
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:37,930
I don't know. I think he's lost
interest in having a kid.

173
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:38,798
So talk to him.

174
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:42,569
Talk to Jeff about his emotions
and how he feels?

175
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,069
[CHUCKLES]

176
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,005
Yeah, it would be like trying
to get turnip juice

177
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,508
from a monkey's head.

178
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:49,809
What?

179
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:50,943
It's a saying.

180
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:53,079
No. It isn't.

181
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,047
Anyway, you were talking
about Jeff.

182
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,349
I just-- I've learned
I can't force him

183
00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:58,350
to talk about
his feelings.

184
00:06:58,350 --> 00:06:59,486
I have to wait
till he's ready.

185
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:02,054
Usually, the signal is when
he says something like,

186
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,491
"Hey, Aud, I've
been thinking...

187
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:07,026
Ah, forget it."
[CHUCKLES]

188
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,327
I'm hearing
John Wayne.

189
00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:10,597
Yeah, it's a fine line.

190
00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:13,500
Hello, ladies.

191
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,834
That's just scary.

192
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,436
[AUDREYLAUGHS]

193
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,204
Hey.
[DOOR OPENS]

194
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:19,105
This one of
those things

195
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,741
that's supposed to tie
a room all together?

196
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,109
[DOOR CLOSES]

197
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,077
No. Heh-heh.

198
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,813
It's a fertility
idol.

199
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:29,048
Jen says everyone
who's ever gotten it

200
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:29,849
has gotten pregnant.

201
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,485
Which is what
we both want, right?

202
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:32,985
Sure.

203
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,454
Now that we're
resorting to magic,

204
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,155
why don't I have
David Copperfield

205
00:07:36,155 --> 00:07:38,491
wave his hands
over my crotch?

206
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,159
You know, I know
it's silly,

207
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:41,393
but at least I'm
making an effort.

208
00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:44,230
Hey, I'm making an effort
not to laugh at that thing.

209
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,767
It's no stupider than
your magic softball glove.

210
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,969
Audrey, the glove
is not magic.

211
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:53,372
I am magic when
I'm wearing the glove.

212
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:56,042
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

213
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:05,818
What are you doing
in my office?

214
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,854
Uh, just checking
some e-mail.

215
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,021
My computer crashed.

216
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:11,891
Oh. How much porn
did you download?

217
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,961
All of it.

218
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,163
Oh, crap. There's
Jennifer.

219
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,865
Better get this porn
off your computer.

220
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,867
I thought you were
checking e-mail.

221
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,101
Don't be stupid.

222
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,970
Surprise.
ADAM:
Hey.

223
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:24,704
What are you doing here?

224
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,238
Thought I'd show you
what I came up with

225
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:28,474
for the brochures so you could
give me feedback.

226
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:30,943
Oh, uh...well, I got
a meeting in five minutes,

227
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:32,344
but I guess I could
take a quick look.

228
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:35,414
Uh...why don't you guys
do this at home?

229
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:38,284
Because this is a Work Adam
and Work Jennifer thing,

230
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,553
not a Home Adam
and Home Jennifer thing.

231
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:43,556
Ai, ai, ai.
I hate all four of you.

232
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:45,692
Now, if you'll excuse me,

233
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,494
I have to go download
some, uh...

234
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,731
Oh, I don't know
what I'm gonna do now.

235
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,733
All right.
What do you got?
[DOOR OPENS]

236
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,468
Well, I think you are
really gonna like this.

237
00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:58,971
So I wanted to do
something exciting.

238
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:02,041
Something that would really
set these condos apart.

239
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,776
Mm-hm. Yeah.

240
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,812
Yeah, yeah. I see where
you're going here,

241
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,080
but...I'm just not
sure about it.

242
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,216
What are you not sure about?
The colors.

243
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,152
I-- I think they're too loud
for the client's image.

244
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,622
Well, maybe these colors
could update their image.

245
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,757
I don't think the clients
want to update their image,

246
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,927
so I think you're gonna have to
just tone all this down a bit.

247
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,595
I don't want to
make it boring.

248
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,864
Heh. Jen, we're not trying to
sell the brochure.

249
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,099
The brochure is supposed
to sell the condos.

250
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,669
The brochure is just a tool.

251
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,804
I get it.

252
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:33,439
A tool.

253
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,076
This is fun, us working
together, huh?

254
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,778
Super fun.

255
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,247
Dude, dude, dude. I need
to use your computer.

256
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,414
My friend in Hong Kong
just called.

257
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:45,351
He said there's some new stuff
going up right now.

258
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,986
[TYPING]

259
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,555
Oh, dude, that's rough.

260
00:09:50,522 --> 00:09:51,958
What else you got?

261
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,025
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

262
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,762
Jeff, come on. You don't
want to be late for the doctor.

263
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,564
Well, I'm just having
second thoughts.

264
00:09:58,564 --> 00:10:00,532
Really?

265
00:10:00,532 --> 00:10:01,901
Something you want to
talk about?

266
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,370
Yeah, I guess.
Uh, for my fertility test,

267
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:08,841
I was gonna go with
the '84 Vanessa Williams.

268
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:11,543
I'm thinking '78 Bo Derek.

269
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:13,479
What does it matter,
babe?

270
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:15,514
It's gonna be over
in five minutes anyway.

271
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:18,317
Babe, it's not about
the destination.

272
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,486
It's about the journey.

273
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,088
[CHUCKLES]
Come on. Let's go.

274
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,091
You know, I have a really
good feeling about this test.

275
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:25,658
How about you?

276
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:28,527
Yeah. I think it's gonna
go better than the others.

277
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:29,729
It's gonna be great.

278
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,362
Really?Yeah.

279
00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:33,332
'Cause now I got
"Porn-occhio" over here.

280
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,000
Let's go.

281
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,367
I was gonna rub him
for good luck,

282
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:38,037
but looks like somebody
beat me to it.

283
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:41,607
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

284
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,613
Hey, Home Jen. Hm.

285
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:48,681
[CLOSES DOOR]

286
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,083
I think I owe you
an apology.

287
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,251
Oh, yeah?

288
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:55,454
Yeah. Yeah. Because today,
this sexy graphic designer

289
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:59,892
came to my office, and I was
totally checking her out.

290
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,928
Oh.

291
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,696
Ha-ha-ha.

292
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,598
I was talking about you,
you know.

293
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:07,633
Yeah, I got it.

294
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,802
Anyway, I'm glad
you had a nice day,

295
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,871
'cause my day
kind of sucked.

296
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:13,205
What? Why?

297
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:17,143
Well, it turns out my new boss
is kind of an assface.

298
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,013
Wait, that's me.

299
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:22,214
What'd I do?

300
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,383
Oh, no, no.
This isn't about you.

301
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:26,152
This is about Work Adam.

302
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,519
A-- All right.
What did he do?

303
00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:30,189
Well, I stayed up all night
designing these great brochures,

304
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,792
and he didn't say anything
nice. He just insulted me.

305
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,394
I did not. I w-- I was just
running late to a meeting--

306
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:37,930
No, no, no, no.
This is about Jerk Adam.

307
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,399
Oh. I'm sorry.
I meant Work Adam.

308
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,401
Oh, okay. Let me
tell you about my day.

309
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,971
This freelancer came into
my office with these designs

310
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,839
that I knew the client
wouldn't like.

311
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:47,940
And I tried to help her--

312
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,241
Oh. You call that help?
Oh, hey.

313
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,444
You don't know.
You weren't there.

314
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,046
Well, Work Jen told me.

315
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,682
Did she also tell you she can't
take constructive criticism?

316
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:59,318
Well, maybe that's because
she has personal problems.

317
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:02,088
She's probably engaged
to some assface.

318
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:04,123
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

319
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,458
Why are the results
taking so long?

320
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:10,396
Well, it has to be the doctor's
fault, because me?

321
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,033
I crushed my old record
in there.

322
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:14,767
That's great, babe.

323
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:17,603
Shouldn't you be more concerned
about the results?

324
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,571
Of course, and I am.

325
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:20,739
That's good.Yeah.

326
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:24,977
It's just that lately
I've been thinking...

327
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,446
Ah, forget it.
No. No, no, no.

328
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:28,647
What? Tell me.

329
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:31,517
Well, look, it's
just that...

330
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,586
lately I've been
feeling...

331
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:37,089
Whoa. Chocolate
Kisses.

332
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:38,757
[DOOR OPENS]

333
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,860
Sorry I'm late.

334
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,428
Oh, by the way,
doc.

335
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:47,299
Thanks for suggesting
the Vanessa/Bo tag-team combo.

336
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:48,100
[EXHALES]

337
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,002
That was a no-brainer.

338
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,973
You're all the same,
aren't you?

339
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,908
Hm?

340
00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,445
Anyway, I, uh...

341
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,580
wanted to double-check
your results

342
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,815
to be sure.

343
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,550
Is everything okay?

344
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:07,219
Well, I don't know
quite how to say this,

345
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:11,623
but...well, it appears
that you've got...

346
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,692
Super sperm.

347
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,264
And the doctor actually
used those words?

348
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:18,831
Yes, he did.

349
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,633
It's like a koi pond
down there.

350
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:26,105
Waitress, can you cancel
my fish and chips, please?

351
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,474
I thought your boys
were slow.

352
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:33,579
Turns out they were just
mild-mannered, like Clark Kent.

353
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:34,780
Jeez, what happened
to the guy

354
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,748
who didn't want to
talk about his junk?

355
00:13:36,748 --> 00:13:40,119
This guy's been replaced
by this guy.

356
00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:42,889
I've got
super sperm.

357
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,492
Yeah. Well, that about kills
the whole menu for me.

358
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,128
Well, I guess you don't
have to worry about the hot tub

359
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,696
and all that other stuff.
I guess not.

360
00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:54,600
Who knows? Maybe that fertility
idol had some mojo after all.

361
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,568
You know, that's where
we're different.

362
00:13:56,568 --> 00:14:00,873
In my bedroom, I have
an anti-fertility idol.

363
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,643
Yeah, it's called
your face.

364
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,545
[LAUGHS]

365
00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,881
Anyway. Thank Jen
for me.

366
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,550
Oh. Yeah, well, Jen and I
aren't really talking.

367
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:14,720
Uh, we're kind of fighting
about working together.

368
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,690
Oh. W-well, wait
a second now. No way.

369
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,626
Who could've seen
that coming?

370
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:25,331
Oh, I don't know: anyone who's
lived anywhere ever.

371
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,399
Well, you know, Jen gets
criticism all the time

372
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,800
about her work,
and she's fine, right?

373
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,204
I make a few little comments,
and she calls me an assface.

374
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,605
[SUCKS IN BREATH]

375
00:14:33,605 --> 00:14:35,908
You kind of are.

376
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:37,376
[TAPS TABLE]

377
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,945
Look, it's a common
rookie mistake.

378
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,880
About 10 years ago,
I brought Audrey on

379
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,648
as my assistant
for a month.

380
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:43,415
Or, as it turned out,

381
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:46,352
the longest day and a half
of my life.

382
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:47,686
Just a day and a half?

383
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:51,023
Figured it was either lose
a secretary or lose a wife.

384
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:54,660
Kicking yourself for blowing
that call, aren't you, buddy?

385
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,062
[CACKLES]

386
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:59,065
I might get something
after all.

387
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:02,568
I'm just saying, sometimes
it's best to cut your losses.

388
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,003
Hey, thanks for
the advice.

389
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,239
Don't thank me.
It's my duty to help.

390
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,541
With great power...

391
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,013
comes great responsibility.

392
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,383
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

393
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,588
Hey. There's my man.
Yes.

394
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:23,722
I thought we were gonna

395
00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:25,391
go to bed early tonight.
Where you been?

396
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,994
Ah, I just got talking
to Phil down the hall there.

397
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,695
About your test results?
Of course.

398
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:32,464
Jeff, you told everyone
in the doctor's waiting room,

399
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:35,034
our cab driver,
the doorman...

400
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,969
Bill Krawski in 7B.

401
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:40,072
Since when do you know the names
of other people in the building?

402
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:41,207
Since I found out
that I have--

403
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,909
No. God, please don't
say it again, please.

404
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:47,213
[MOUTHS]
Super sperm.

405
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,481
You've had your fun,
you've bragged about it.

406
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:52,118
Now it's time to put
those boys to work.

407
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,719
All right.

408
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:56,088
You da man.

409
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,723
[PHONE RINGING]

410
00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:00,159
All right, you know what?
I gotta take this.

411
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,194
Yeah. It's important.

412
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:05,764
Jimmer, thanks for getting back
to me so quickly.

413
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,633
Jimmer?
That's important?

414
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:12,204
Guess what part of me is
faster than a speeding bullet?

415
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,906
Come on, Jeff.
We--

416
00:16:14,906 --> 00:16:16,775
No. No.

417
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,610
Bingo.

418
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,814
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

419
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:28,920
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

420
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:31,857
Oh. Hey, honey.

421
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,092
Hey. I think I've
got a solution

422
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:36,162
that will fix everything
and make us both happy.

423
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,896
Really? What is it?

424
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:40,066
You're fired.

425
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:40,932
What?

426
00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:42,634
You're fired.

427
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:43,169
Huh?

428
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,970
Seriously, that's
your solution?

429
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:48,140
Working together was bad.
We need to cut our losses.

430
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:48,807
Fine, then you quit.

431
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,476
I was there first.
I'm not quitting.

432
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,311
Well, I'm not
letting you fire me.

433
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:53,879
Fine, then you're
not fired.

434
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:54,880
Good. I quit.

435
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,149
I was just giving you
constructive criticism.

436
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,217
The kind you get
all the time.

437
00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,851
Well, I didn't like
getting it from you.

438
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:02,154
We shouldn't work together.
We shouldn't.

439
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,689
Damn it. Russell
was right.

440
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,891
Great, that's all
we need.

441
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:07,393
[SIGHS]

442
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:09,161
God, I can hear
him now.

443
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:10,996
"I don't want to
call you stupid, but...

444
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:13,932
[IMITATING RUSSELL]
you kind of are."

445
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,568
Hey. You know, Russell
won't know he was right

446
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:17,703
if you make
that presentation.

447
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,439
Well, I'd like to.
I mean, I did all that work.

448
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,173
Well, great.

449
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:24,210
So you gonna do it...
as is

450
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,345
or with...changes?

451
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,679
I'll make your changes.

452
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:31,050
I mean, you are the boss. You do
know what the client wants.

453
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,285
And that's what
I came up with.

454
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,454
Frankly, it's
a little boring.

455
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:37,856
We were hoping
for something bolder.

456
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:40,226
Something to update
our image.

457
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,093
Really?

458
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,429
I totally agree with you.

459
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:46,465
[QUIETLY]
I'm such an assface.

460
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,168
You kind of are.

461
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,204
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

462
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,974
[HUMMING]

463
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,510
Hey...dude.

464
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,012
I don't know if you had
a hand in all this,

465
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,948
but if you did...

466
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:04,550
thanks.

467
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,125
Oh, that can't
be good.

468
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,061
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

469
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:19,198
Good as new.

470
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,670
Come on!

471
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,071
What happened?

472
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:27,005
I broke the idol.

473
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:29,375
What? Jeff. That is
Jennifer's.

474
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,411
I know. Sorry.
I'll fix it.
Well, you better.

475
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,213
I know you thought
that idol was a big joke,

476
00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,182
but you didn't have to
go break it.

477
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,783
It was
an accident.

478
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,685
You know me. When
things are going good,

479
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:40,919
I don't change
anything.

480
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:43,222
Yes, I know. I remember
that disgusting

481
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:46,192
Mets winning-streak
underwear.

482
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,093
I never should've
let you wash those.

483
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:50,762
That cost us
the World Series.

484
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,199
Now that the idol's broken...

485
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:56,202
it may cost me
my super sperm.

486
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,737
Oh, yeah. That would be
a tragedy, wouldn't it?

487
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,906
Then you couldn't brag
to everyone about it.

488
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,808
Uh, that's
not it.

489
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,210
Oh, then, was is it?

490
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,277
I guess...

491
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,180
over the last
few months...

492
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,249
I've just been feeling--

493
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,151
Ah, forget it.
No, no. No, no.

494
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,519
Just tell me.
I don't wanna!

495
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,887
Just tell me how you feel--
Frustrated!

496
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:16,388
Good. Why?

497
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,989
Because I want us
to have a baby,

498
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:19,658
and it's not happening.

499
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,893
So you do want
to have a baby?

500
00:19:21,893 --> 00:19:22,861
Yeah, of course.

501
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:23,929
Why would you
even say that?

502
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,765
Well, because lately you haven't
seemed so excited

503
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:27,699
about the whole thing.

504
00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:31,470
Because it's not happening,
and it's my fault.

505
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,306
Oh, honey.

506
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,676
No. Lots and lots
of things

507
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:40,946
in this marriage
are your fault...

508
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:44,216
but this isn't
one of 'em.

509
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,453
Whatever happens, we're
in this thing together.

510
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:49,521
Really?
Yes, we are a team.

511
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,322
We're like the Mets.

512
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:53,692
Before or after
you washed the underwear?

513
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,227
Before.

514
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:57,529
Come on.

515
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,098
And, you know, if
breaking that idol

516
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:01,300
really did ruin
your streak...

517
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,435
you better get to
that bedroom quickly,

518
00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:05,136
before you lose
your, uh--

519
00:20:05,136 --> 00:20:06,472
Can I say it?

520
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,006
[SIGHS]
Yes.

521
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:09,708
Super sperm.

522
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:18,517
If I let you watch,
will you forgive me?

523
00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:21,820
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

524
00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:26,292
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

525
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,993
Hi. I'm Crystal
from IT.

526
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:30,696
I'm here to fix
your computer.

527
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,398
RUSSELL [VOICE-OVER]:
Oh, my God.

528
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:36,235
Have I looked at so much porn
that I somehow...

529
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,604
entered porn?

530
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,939
Better run a little test.

531
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:43,609
So...

532
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,344
what are you gonna
do here today?

533
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:48,179
Uh...service
my hardware?

534
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,350
Yes, I am.
That's my job.

535
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,819
Damn. That was
inconclusive.

536
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,121
Maybe the only way
to know is to...

537
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,657
make a move on her.

538
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:01,693
Well, I hope you're
good at your job,

539
00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:04,229
because...maybe later...

540
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:05,331
you and I could--

541
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,666
What the hell do
you think you're doing?

542
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,669
Still not sure.

543
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:13,539
Oh.

544
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,374
[PUNCH LANDS]
[BODY HITS FLOOR]

545
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,776
RUSSELL:
Oh! Not porn.

546
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,646
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

547
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:27,886
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]