1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,379
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,797
Timmy,
it's fantastic.

3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,508
Oh, yeah. Timmy, it's
the coolest wedding website

4
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,136
I've ever seen.
And I've seen four.

5
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,054
Thanks.

6
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,263
Ah, well, there she is.

7
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,514
The Nard-Crusher 2000.

8
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,393
Adam, you didn't tell me it was
Bring a Hobbit to Work Day.

9
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:22,064
Enough with the pleasantries.
What are you doing here?

10
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,815
Timmy built us
a wedding website

11
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,234
so we could keep our friends
updated on our plans.

12
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:30,030
Yes, it's called
Adam and Jen's Big Day.com.

13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:34,117
"Two Losers and a Cake Dot Lame"
wasn't available?

14
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,120
All right.
Let's see what we have here.

15
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,413
"This is Our Story."

16
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:39,747
"This is the Proposal."

17
00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:41,541
This is the happiest
day of my life.

18
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,085
Oh, I don't remember
that one.

19
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,337
No, this is the happiest
day of my life. Ha!

20
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,589
Timmy, I have hours
of mocking in front of me.

21
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,426
Hold all my calls.
No one calls you, sir.

22
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,052
Ha-ha.
Let me check this out.

23
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:58,683
"Jennifer, so soft and warm
on my arm.

24
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,685
My lucky charm,

25
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:02,312
my chicken parm."

26
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,314
Oh, my God!
It's a poem!

27
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,483
This dude wrote a poem!
Ha-ha!

28
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,069
He's like a gay
Walt Whitman.

29
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,070
[LAUGHS]

30
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,405
Walt Whitman was gay.

31
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,616
Not this gay.

32
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,618
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

33
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:20,997
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

34
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:26,586
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

35
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,755
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

36
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,133
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

37
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:35,553
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

38
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,934
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

39
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:44,562
Hey.

40
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:45,147
Hey.

41
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,733
What's wrong? Oh, do they
don't have that soup I like?

42
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,526
[SIGHS]

43
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,862
No, I'm bummed because we just
met with another surrogate

44
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,239
and we're just
having no luck.

45
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,741
I didn't knew you guys
were getting a surrogate.

46
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,536
Yes. I told you after
the last in vitro didn't take

47
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,663
we were gonna
look into surrogacy.

48
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,331
Are you sure it was me?

49
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,834
Yes, it was right
in this booth.

50
00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:10,087
You'd just come from having
a haircut and I was--

51
00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:11,298
Oh, yes, I remember.

52
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:14,259
You said my hair looked really
cute, kind of like Megan Fox.

53
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:17,429
And I said that's what I was
going for and then you were--

54
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,097
You cannot recall
one thing about the surrogacy,

55
00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:24,394
but you got the whole
haircut transcript?

56
00:02:25,102 --> 00:02:28,315
Megan Fox.

57
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,107
That's not unhot.

58
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,653
We've been meeting
with these different women

59
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,529
and you know instantly

60
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,698
you don't want them carrying
your baby.

61
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,576
Yeah, the last one
was too short.

62
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,453
Not my type.

63
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,414
You do know you don't get
to have sex with the surrogate.

64
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:49,502
Uh, you're not hearing me.
I don't want to.

65
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,003
[MOUTHS]
Too short.

66
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:52,589
It doesn't matter anyway.

67
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,007
I'm certain to give up hope
we'll find anybody.

68
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,469
Oh, my cousin used a surrogate
and just loved her.

69
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,930
Went on and on about her.
I could get her number.

70
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,729
This just occurred
to you now?

71
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,063
I'm sorry, Audrey.

72
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,274
Sometimes I'm not
a good listener.

73
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,651
I told you I'm not
the only one spacing out

74
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,070
during your stories.
You know?

75
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,490
You gotta
pick up the pace.

76
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,950
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

77
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,829
You know, some of this websites
have little mottos.

78
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:28,165
Maybe ours should have one.
Uh, well, what kind of motto?

79
00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:32,629
Well, this one says "A day
of love, an eternity of loving."

80
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,297
Wow, that's great.
You know, honey,

81
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,799
I don't even wanna
try to top that. Yeah.

82
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:40,512
You don't seem as into
the website as you were before.

83
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,473
You know, I just feel
like it's kind of played.

84
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,557
You know? I mean...

85
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:48,185
I mean, everyone's like, just
a little burned out over it.

86
00:03:48,185 --> 00:03:51,898
It's been up
for six hours.

87
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,941
This is about Russell,
isn't it?

88
00:03:53,941 --> 00:03:55,693
Of course it is.
Honey, he never stops.

89
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,112
I mean, all day I was
10 seconds away from tears.

90
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:02,992
Honey, Russell's an immature,
pathetic little troll.

91
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,201
You love
our wedding website.

92
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:06,913
Don't let his stupid comments
wreck it for you.

93
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,206
Okay, I'll try.
Now, come look.

94
00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:12,669
This morning I posted
that picture of us at the beach

95
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,629
sharing
an ice cream cone.

96
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,923
[CHUCKLES]

97
00:04:17,965 --> 00:04:21,303
Oh, my God!
Aah!

98
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,431
That is not
an ice cream cone.

99
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,266
Ugh. Russell.

100
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,564
Oh, God, you're back.
What took you so long?

101
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:36,443
I went out to get the doughnuts.

102
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,819
No!

103
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,072
God! No doughnuts.

104
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,282
Why no doughnuts?

105
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,576
I talked to Jen's cousin
about the surrogate.

106
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,619
She sounds perfect.
Too good for doughnuts.

107
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:50,164
We can't let her think
we eat doughnuts for breakfast.

108
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,792
If she's gonna be
with us for nine months,

109
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,876
it's gonna come out.

110
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,546
Ah. Look, I'm really
excited about this girl.

111
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,716
She's a college grad, she comes
from a very good family.

112
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,676
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, Aah. That's her.

113
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,970
Okay. Please, Jeff,
I want this so badly.

114
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,680
Let's give it
our best shot, okay?

115
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,474
Hey, I already gave it
my best shot

116
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,435
into that cup
at the clinic.

117
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,771
That's doughnut humor.

118
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:17,149
Ahem.

119
00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:18,526
Hi, I'm Pam Nelson.
Hi.

120
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:19,444
Oh, hi,
Audrey Bingham.

121
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:22,029
So nice to meet you.
This is my husband, Jeff.

122
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:23,030
Pleasure.
Hey, there.

123
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,074
Wow, you have
a beautiful apartment.

124
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,619
Oh, thank you.
And doughnut-free.

125
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:30,830
Please, have a seat.

126
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,288
So...

127
00:05:31,288 --> 00:05:36,168
I understand you're interested
in leasing out my uterus.

128
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:40,339
Just kidding.
It's a little surrogate joke.

129
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,550
Oh, ha. Ha-ha-ha!

130
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,553
That's so funny.
Isn't that funny?

131
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,179
Tell us
another surrogate joke.

132
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:50,099
I really
only have the one.

133
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:55,605
That's one more than
that short gal out in Jersey.

134
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,898
So here's my deal.

135
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,567
I've carried one child so far
and it was amazing.

136
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:03,279
I felt like I was giving such a
wonderful gift to that family

137
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,490
that I just really wanna
do it again.

138
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,950
Oh. That's
a beautiful story.

139
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:08,701
Wow. Yes, it was.

140
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,246
And not to mention tight,
to the point.

141
00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:14,957
The kind of story
someone might remember.

142
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:18,169
So is there anything else you
would like to know about me?

143
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,880
Well, in regards to your
health history, uh--

144
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,634
Jeff, little personal,
isn't it?

145
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:28,054
I love your shirt.
Where did you get it?

146
00:06:28,345 --> 00:06:31,307
Yeah, that's more of
what we need to know.

147
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,767
[LAUGHS]

148
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,893
I like you guys.

149
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,062
You're kidding.

150
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,815
At the risk of sounding
a little nutty,

151
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:39,607
I get vibes from people,

152
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,485
and, uh, I feel very
comfortable around you.

153
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,360
Did you hear that?

154
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,906
I'm sitting here,
closer to her than you.

155
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,533
AUDREY:
Right. Okay.

156
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,366
So, what's the next step?

157
00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:51,994
Well, to be honest, there is
another couple in the mix.

158
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:56,040
And I've met with them,
and I really like them too.

159
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:56,583
Really?

160
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,501
Let me ask you this.
Did the other couple

161
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:03,089
provide any kind of snack
or baked good?

162
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,632
Just some water.

163
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,800
Oh, my God,
we have that.

164
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,469
How many--?
How much do you want?

165
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,846
No, I-- I'm fine.
Thank you, though.

166
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,474
Um,
so once we're finished here,

167
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,684
I'm gonna go home,
I'm gonna think everyone

168
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,395
and them I'm gonna let everybody
know my decision tomorrow,

169
00:07:18,395 --> 00:07:20,189
if that's okay with you?

170
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:23,735
That would be fine.
No, pick us now.

171
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,903
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

172
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,324
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

173
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:33,327
All right, listen up.
That website was dedicated

174
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:35,663
to the most important day
of Jen's and my life,

175
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:39,208
and you are gonna stop
your stupid, tasteless jokes.

176
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,794
I'm sorry,
I was just kidding around,

177
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:45,381
but if I went too far,
I apologize.

178
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,925
I didn't meant to upset you.

179
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,012
Well...

180
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,722
that's okay.

181
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,557
Uh, apology accepted.

182
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,684
Actually, I've decided
I'm gonna help you

183
00:07:56,684 --> 00:08:00,938
spread the joy of your website
with as many people as possible.

184
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,816
Especially
after seeing this new video

185
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,944
that Jen just posted.
What new video?

186
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:10,615
It's literally
my favorite thing ever.

187
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,618
What the-- No, no.
She posted that?

188
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,745
I thought I erased it.
[LAUGHS]

189
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:16,746
Well, you didn't.

190
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,915
And you should've.

191
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:23,920
♪♪ Something inside me
Makes me love you ♪♪

192
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,212
It's nice.

193
00:08:25,212 --> 00:08:28,800
♪♪ Baby, give me all you got ♪♪

194
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,341
A little greedy.

195
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:34,430
♪♪ When you put
Your love inside me ♪♪

196
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:40,562
♪♪ It always hits
My special spot ♪♪

197
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,480
No! No! My-- My heart!

198
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,982
My special spot
is my heart.

199
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:48,653
I'm sure that's what everyone
I e-mailed it to thinks.

200
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:52,156
You know what? I don't give a
crap about what anybody thinks.

201
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,325
I am proud of everything
on that website

202
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:57,537
and you're not gonna
ruin it for me.

203
00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,872
Well done in there,
Mr. Rhodes.

204
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,249
The way you stood up
to Mr. Dunbar's bullying

205
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:04,627
will make Jennifer proud.
Thank you.

206
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,713
Oh, uh, Mr. Rhodes,
I have some mail for you.

207
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:10,507
Should I put it on your desk
or in your special spot?

208
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,099
Take it down.

209
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,226
I'm sorry?
The website.

210
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,645
Crash it.

211
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,021
Crash it hard.

212
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,483
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

213
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,570
Well, this really
was a pleasure.

214
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,447
For us too.
And thank you

215
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,282
for all the water.

216
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:38,578
I'll think of you
every time I pee.

217
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,912
[BOTH LAUGH]

218
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,038
Hilarious.

219
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:43,332
Okay. Bye, funny Pam.

220
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:47,419
Oh, my God,
she's the greatest.

221
00:09:47,419 --> 00:09:51,758
Don't you think-- How did
you get those so fast?

222
00:09:52,549 --> 00:09:54,468
You're already through one?

223
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,679
Yeah.

224
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,056
One.

225
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,391
Anyway, how was I?

226
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:05,980
Some of your comments
were a bit...needy.

227
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,315
Like what?
Well,

228
00:10:08,315 --> 00:10:11,611
when you likened her uterus
to a cathedral.

229
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,237
Ah. I was nervous.

230
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,364
Is that why you did
those 17 lady pushups?

231
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:19,911
No, I wanted to show her
how strong my eggs were.

232
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:22,246
I'm not sure
that was the takeaway.

233
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,666
Oh, God, it was a disaster.

234
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,626
She's gonna pick
the other people.

235
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,795
There's gotta be
something else we can do.

236
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:33,716
Well, the doughnut ship
has sailed.

237
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,177
Hey, what if we
offer her more money?

238
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,303
You know,
grease her a little.

239
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:42,474
We're trying to get a baby,
not a table near a window.

240
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:43,184
[SIGHS]

241
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,561
I just--
I just want her to pick us.

242
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:49,023
Being so close makes me realize
how much I want a baby.

243
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:49,982
Yeah, so do I.

244
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,444
But it's out of our hands.
If it's meant to be, it'll be.

245
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,611
Right?
Yeah, yeah.

246
00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:56,948
You're right.
Maybe it is meant to be.

247
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,115
[WHISPERING]
Hi, Pam, listen.

248
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:00,702
I'm sorry to call so late,
but if there's anything

249
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:03,245
we could do that might make
your decision easier,

250
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,498
like, I don't know,
maybe an extra $5000--

251
00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:08,542
[DOOR OPENS]
Oh, God.

252
00:11:09,626 --> 00:11:11,838
Hm.
I thought that we agreed

253
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,966
to leave this thing alone.
Oh, come on.

254
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,050
How can you be so naive?

255
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,009
Pam's never
gonna pick us.

256
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,679
Why do you say that? You don't
even know the other people.

257
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,014
I don't have to.

258
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:22,974
Look at us.

259
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,516
We're not good.

260
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:27,103
What can we offer a child,
besides food and shelter?

261
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,982
And with you at the table,
it might just be shelter.

262
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,817
You gotta calm down.

263
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:33,609
Jeff, we're gonna lose!

264
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:36,278
Game over.
Thanks for playing, Binghams.

265
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,114
I see. And you thought
another 5 grand

266
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,283
would even the playing field?
Uh, I don't know.

267
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,119
But it's better than:

268
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:46,497
[IMITATING JEFF]
"If it's meant to be,
it will be."

269
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,957
There's no need

270
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:52,879
to drag my velvety baritone
through the mud.

271
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:56,215
And for the record,
even though I do eat a lot,

272
00:11:56,215 --> 00:12:01,637
I would always leave
a little something for the baby.

273
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:06,683
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

274
00:12:06,683 --> 00:12:08,727
Hey, sweetie,
what are you doing here?

275
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:12,606
Oh. Our website is down.
What?!

276
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,067
Yes, it seems
to have crashed.

277
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:15,651
No!

278
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,903
It can't--
It can't be!

279
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,363
How could you have
let this happen, Timmy?

280
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,490
Be more incompetent next time!

281
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,117
I'm sorry, Mr. Rhodes.

282
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,327
Oh, well.
Grab some lunch?

283
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:30,249
You know you've never been
able to lie to me.

284
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,542
Yes, I have.

285
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,377
That's not true,
I haven't.

286
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,922
Did you have
something to do with this?

287
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,840
No.
Really?

288
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,592
Damn, you always ask
such good follow-up questions.

289
00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:43,262
Honey, I know the website
meant a lot to you.

290
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,348
But you don't have
to face Russell every day.

291
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,433
He's so mean.

292
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,061
Why do you let him
get to you?

293
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:50,895
Just ignore him.

294
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:55,066
Hey, guys. Bad day for gayness.
Your website's down.

295
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,485
But luckily, not before I was
able to print this picture

296
00:12:58,485 --> 00:13:01,113
with some slight
modifications.

297
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,115
Oh, my God!
You didn't.

298
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,201
I kinda did.

299
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,368
You see that?

300
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,620
He's kneeling down
in front of you,

301
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,998
but he's not proposing.
Ha-ha!

302
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,708
You're such
a dirtbag jackass.

303
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:16,670
Hey, wait. Whoa, whoa.
Let's keep it professional.

304
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,130
Sir, at the risk
of spoiling your fun,

305
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:22,009
may I remind you you're running
late for your appointment.

306
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:22,509
Oh, crud.

307
00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:25,512
What time are you expected
back on the Dutch Boy can?

308
00:13:25,512 --> 00:13:28,515
Touché, you got me
on that one.

309
00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:30,476
Timmy, I need you
to hand these out

310
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,518
to everyone in the building,

311
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:34,521
and randomly on the subway
on your way home.

312
00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:35,982
[CHUCKLES]

313
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,025
Well,
this is somewhat awkward,

314
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,694
but I do have
my marching orders.

315
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,990
Thanks, Timmy.

316
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:56,293
Fair enough.

317
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:59,213
There's got to be something
we can do to stop him.

318
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,214
But how?
Perhaps I could be

319
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:04,635
of assistance. You see,
what you need here is leverage.

320
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:05,761
But we have none.

321
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:06,803
Not at the moment.

322
00:14:06,803 --> 00:14:09,848
But you might gain some,
if we act quickly.

323
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:13,269
Okay. Okay, we better help you
pass out these fliers

324
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,187
so we can get going.

325
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,191
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

326
00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:32,914
What's that?

327
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,748
Is someone here?

328
00:14:35,707 --> 00:14:38,002
Smile and say
"super cheesy."

329
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,211
No!

330
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:43,299
No! Don't!
Get out of here! No!

331
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,842
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

332
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:46,677
Okay.

333
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,220
So, what do you want?

334
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,681
Well, I want you to stop
insulting our website,

335
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,976
ever print or alter
any photos from it,

336
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:57,188
and don't change the lyrics
of our first-dance song

337
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,648
to make it sound gay.

338
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:00,607
[SIGHS]

339
00:15:00,607 --> 00:15:01,775
Do what you want.

340
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,986
But every person
in our company directory

341
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:07,073
will see all of these photos,
including this one.

342
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,326
Honey.
The caption was my idea.

343
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,620
"Must be chilly
in a tanning booth."

344
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:18,000
That's not fair.
It was very cold in there.

345
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,669
Nowhere is it that cold.

346
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,297
[LAUGHS]

347
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,508
So do we have
an agreement?

348
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:29,678
[SIGHS AND BLABBERS]

349
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:30,179
Fine.

350
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:33,765
I'll stay away from your
stupid website, all right?

351
00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:35,184
Are you guys happy now?

352
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,477
Yeah.

353
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,104
Jen?
You know what?

354
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,397
I thought I would be,
but I'm not.

355
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,067
These pictures are
too good not to share.

356
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:46,946
Really? Well, that would mean
the end of our wedding website.

357
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:51,117
Oh, screw the website.
It is kind of gay.

358
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:52,994
And send.

359
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:56,998
There's no way
you just really sent that.

360
00:15:57,914 --> 00:16:00,501
Oh, good Lord!

361
00:16:06,923 --> 00:16:10,094
I kinda did.

362
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,015
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

363
00:16:15,682 --> 00:16:17,809
[HAIR-DRYER WHIRRING]

364
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,356
You're really
still gonna use that?

365
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,066
It's just water.

366
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,027
Toilet water.

367
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,695
Your phone was in a toilet.

368
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,991
I mean, if that's not time
to hit the Verizon store,

369
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,534
I don't know what is.

370
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,076
[PHONE RINGING]

371
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,788
Oh, look, someone's calling
on the dry one.

372
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:38,622
Hello?

373
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:41,583
Oh, hey.
How are you?

374
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,877
Fine, sure. Come on up.

375
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,754
Who was that?
That's Pam.

376
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:46,713
And she's in the lobby.

377
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:48,007
And, uh, she's
on her way up.

378
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,051
Oh, my God! What do you
think she wants?

379
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,593
Wait. How's my hair?
It's fine.

380
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,679
Well, yours isn't.
You've got bed head.

381
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,265
What if she finds
out I sleep in a bed?

382
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,516
Oh, God.

383
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,976
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[MUMBLES]

384
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,023
Hi, Pam. Nice to see you.

385
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,649
You too. May I come in?

386
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:06,650
Sure, of course. Yeah.

387
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,694
Okay, so here's the thing.

388
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,112
Last night I got a voicemail
from a woman.

389
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,740
She didn't say who she was and
I couldn't recognize her voice,

390
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:15,909
but she was offering me
an additional $5000

391
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,079
to carry her baby.
I was very disappointed.

392
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:21,832
Huh. Do you have any friends
who are practical jokers?

393
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,293
I don't.

394
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,878
That's too bad,
you're missing out.

395
00:17:26,878 --> 00:17:30,049
So I went to the other woman,
Sandra,

396
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,843
and she swore that
she didn't make that call.

397
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:37,264
So do you have something
you'd like to say to me?

398
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,103
Yes.

399
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:45,439
Uh, I'd like to say that

400
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:49,943
I'm disgusted Sandra
would stoop to that level.

401
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,446
Well,
one of you made the call.

402
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,782
Since nobody wants to admit it,
I don't feel comfortable

403
00:17:55,782 --> 00:17:58,285
offering either of you
my services.

404
00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:58,744
Really?

405
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,205
For me, surrogacy
is not about the money.

406
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,582
It's about the feeling I get
doing a selfless act

407
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,585
for deserving people
who otherwise wouldn't

408
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,669
be able to have a child.

409
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,880
But in this case,
the word "deserving"

410
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,632
doesn't seem to apply.

411
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,050
I'm gonna go.

412
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,011
Uh, Pam, wait.
Wait, wait, wait!

413
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,180
Just-- I'm the one
who made the call.

414
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,723
Jeff tried to talk me
out of it.

415
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,142
And I wouldn't listen
to him.

416
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:23,352
You don't hear that
too often.

417
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,021
I just--
I couldn't stand waiting

418
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,939
and not being able
to do anything.

419
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:31,610
But I can't let another couple
pay for my mistake.

420
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,320
You should--
You should pick them.

421
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,657
Then that's
what I'm gonna do.

422
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:38,909
Take care, Audrey.

423
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,828
Pam, could you
wait a minute, please?

424
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,832
Did you see
what my wife did?

425
00:18:45,832 --> 00:18:48,960
She came clean.
Because deep down, she's honest.

426
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,088
It's very deep down,
and sometimes it takes a while

427
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:54,716
to come to the surface.

428
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:56,843
Jeff--
Let me-- Let me finish.

429
00:18:56,843 --> 00:19:01,807
Did Audrey's screws come loose
in the middle of the night?

430
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,434
You betcha.

431
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,269
The way I see it,

432
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,103
her only crime
is wanting it too much.

433
00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:12,359
And someone who wants it that
much would make a great mom.

434
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,111
A great supplier
of a baby

435
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:20,242
to fester up
down there in your region.

436
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,747
Now, that's very moving.

437
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,541
Up until "fester."

438
00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:29,626
Look, I truly hope
that you guys

439
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,295
have the family
that you want someday.

440
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:34,047
But that doesn't change
the fact that she thought

441
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:36,467
I would compromise my morals
for $5000.

442
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,345
What if we made it 10?

443
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,430
I'd say
it's not gonna work.

444
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,265
Okay.

445
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,600
For Sandra and Duane.

446
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,478
Congratulations.
You're gonna be parents!

447
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,938
Oh, my God!

448
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:52,816
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

449
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:58,197
Okay, bye. Take care.
See you.

450
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,579
Hey, how you doing?
Russell Dunbar.

451
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:08,332
Pam Nelson.
Ah.

452
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,209
Do you live
in the building, Pam?

453
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,254
No, just doing some business
with people who do.

454
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,756
Delightful.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]

455
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,799
Here we go.

456
00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:22,263
So this, uh, business be
bringing you back here much?

457
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,306
Yes, actually it will.

458
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,558
How fortuitous.

459
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,898
No!

460
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:37,110
Is something wrong?
Ah.

461
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,654
God, I hope not.

462
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,906
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

463
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,953
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]